not review: i realize that this has been extensively reviewed on your site. i know because i have read the paeans to the greatness and i can only assume that this means you may not welcome what i have to say. if so, that is too bad, but i can remain silent no longer. end of "not review"

i too was at the saturday screening of "the butterfly effect" at sundance. i wonder if i was even in the same theater watching the same movie as the rest of your reviewers. i can only assume that the cult of celebrity has erased their good sense. i am vulnavia and i am here at the good doctor's request to serve as the bringer of vengeance.

have to admit that i was somewhat biased to begin with since the trailers were laughable. kutcher's reactions and the nonsensical nature of what was on my screen clued me in that a new turkey was at hand. what i didn't know is that this was more than your average lameness. this was a whole new level of crap. what was difficult for me to understand was that the film was being sold as a romantic-kinda-time travel movie. what followed as the film began to roll was pure unadulterated sadism.

you heard me, sadism. the film was at the level of the sniggering halfwits who sit under the bleachers at the high school football games and look up the cheerleaders skirts, when they are not drowning puppies. i was asked to sit thru a tale that hit nearly every degrading and disgusting act known to man to absolutely no discernable purpose.

bear in mind that i am a righteous fan of all things horror and "american psycho". violence that serves the the plot or illuminates the human condition is just fine and dandy. hell, i'll even take some gratuitous acts of evil as long as it means something. anything. hello?

this movie was a parade of repeated acts of murder, cruel killing of animals, pedophilia, incest, and rape all for the greater glory of ashton kutcher and his serious acting career (and the nerds who "wrote" and "directed" this). to make matters worse, the "film" had an air of "look how daring and avant garde we are". bullshit.

then the acting, oh my god, the acting. even melora waters, who is usually damn fine was reading lines with no noticable warmth or human feeling (she at least had the decency to look somewhat embarrassed at the q&a.). this is a film for 15 to 25 year old emotional cripples who think that "south park" is funny but uses too many big words. i have rarely seen so much winking at the camera and such pitiful performances straight out of h.s. drama class.

then there is the plot, such as it is. the alleged plot is summed up pretty easily. boy meets girl. girl has psycho dad AND brother. boy tries to save girl, repeatedly, but is apparently too stupid to stop screwing things up. people suffer and die, except for boy who really should be the first to go. end of story.

i almost forgot there is one good part. the cgi "butterfly effect" is nicely done. the words shimmer off the pages of the journals that nudnik uses to rip through the space/time continuum and at the same time the furniture moves.

neato.

this stuff just goes on and on and just as you think that there is no longer any low that they have not sunk to or some cliche that is unturned, there it is for your viewing "pleasure". like cockroaches scurrying for the cabinet as the light goes on - it is inevitable. the nadir of this "epic" is when dufus ends up being an quad amputee from the third version of the mailbox explosion (don't ask). he gets to hear his friend humping the alleged love of his life in the next bed in his dorm room.

wow, that's deep.

the evil brother was saved through his action and is now a born again christian and all around nice guy.

soo deep, yet ironic.

you get the picture.

it is during this portion of our drama that mr. kutcher's acting reaches new heights. i call it "bath acting". it seems that he forgot to wash his hair (because quad amputees who can't pork amy smart anymore just don't CARE!!!)

jesus wept. the horror of "the butterfly effect" has created a black hole that only the combined star power of ashton and demi can repair. praise be to the superpowers, blah, blah, blah...i could go on and drip even more venom, but hopefully the message has sunk in.

do yourself a favor. avoid this at all costs. go see ROTK again. you'll thank me in the end.

you're welcome.

i am vulnavia.