Saw MINNIE AND MOSKOWITZ yesterday, it was made the year I was born, 1971.
One thing I love about seeing movies I have never seen before is proving to myself that I
haven't seen all the good movies yet. That when I talk of 'bests' and 'worsts', that I really
don't know what I'm talking about, because as long as jewels like MINNIE AND
MOSKOWITZ exist unearthed by my eyes, I have a reason to see another film and to live
another day. A movie like this makes you realize that there are as many unseen movies in
the past as lie in the future. Anyway let me tell you of the day that put me in the mindset
to really love MINNIE AND MOSKOWITZ...

The day started at dawn. It was OSCAR NOMINATIONS day. Which means I have to
wake up and go to work early. I begin playing channel surfing till I get to the morning
show that looked best suited for covering the Oscars and got my notepad and pen ready.
Meanwhile I was hopping online to track down the full list. I was at the Official Oscar
site, and was continually reloading, BUT... all I could get when I clicked on 'Nominees
Here' was the list of eligible films. ARGH!!!!!!! So I call up RoboGeek, who was
absolutely obsessive over the entire endeavor. He, of course, had the list already. I asked
him to e-mail it on over, but NETCOM was screwing him over something fierce. He was
having to log on via Glen's service, he was having to use his hotmail address, and Hotmail
was acting up. After about twenty minutes of 'barnfarkling' I ask Robo to just give me the
URL he got the list from, and I go off and get it myself.

When I got the list I was shocked to see Cameron left off for screenplay, which Woody
Allen (someone I would normally be elated to see nominated, but this year Deconstructing
Harry was terrible, in my opinion) got via the kneejerk automatic Woody ballot process.
Then I was hooting and hollering over Danny Elfman getting 2 nominations. Then I was
shocked to see James Brooks not in the Director's nominees. I knew Jodie Foster wasn't
going to get nominated, but that didn't lessen the disappointment. And I have to admit I
was rooting like crazy for Pam Grier to be nominated. Oh yeah, and where the hell was
Kevin Smith in the original screenplay category, Chasing Amy was a hell of a good movie
and wonderfully crafted. Which reminds me, personally I was holding a spot in the Best
Actor category for Ben Affleck for Chasing Amy. And Binky for Supporting Actor would
have been about as hilarious as a one armed push up by Jack Palance.

Then my father and I went to go grab breakfast at Kerbey Lane. Kerbey Lane is a magical
breakfast factory nestled in the shady grove (oops that's another restaurant) of a street you
can never find. It has these prozac pancakes and sleepy-belly migas (not their actual
names) that are better than any of the drugs you can find across the street at the hospital.
We don't regularly eat there, but we always take the nominations and go somewhere to eat
breakfast and sort through the nominations. We write our 'pukes', 'want2wins' and
'willwins'.

Personally I love the 'Puke' category because this is where I get to just be arbitrary.
Rational thought goes out the window, and I become Cro-Magnon Harry. That
hunchbacked furled browed beast that hits animals in the head, rips their hindquarter off
and begins chewing through fur. Ahhhhh CRO-MAGNON HARRY!!!! Feared by the
feeble!!!

Dad begins 'COPYING' my predictions. I know it. He claims that he just feels that the
winners are the winners and the winners he feels are the winners just happen to be the
winners that I feel to be the winners. And that the losers are the losers because they are
losers and anyone with eyes can see loser tatooed to there forehead. HE COPIED
ME!!!!!!! I hereby level the charge at him. No... no really he copied me... I wrote first...
yes I did. Whaddya mean ya don't believe me? I did... I PICKED FIRST. No, I didn't
copy him. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, I want my migaaassssss!!!!!

(Time passes and Harry Calms)

We ate, and ate and ate. A favorite past time of mine. We begin pouring over our
choices, I check to see how many awards I want TITANIC to get (5) vs how many I think
it will win (12). I really don't want TITANIC to beat BEN HUR. I think BEN HUR is a
film much closer to my heart than TITANIC, which I also hold dear, but Leo is quite
simply NOT CHARLTON HESTON. Billy Zane is not MASALA!!!!!! And the
TITANIC sinking doesn't have a Miklos Rosza SCORE!!!!! And where the hell is the
chariot race? I do have to admit the sailing sequences in TITANIC are vastly better
looking than the sailing sequences in BEN HUR, but that's only because they didn't have
the technology to realize it. They did, however, have super cool slave drum dude and
gnawing at their ankle slaves, and spurting defooted people, and wow that movie is cool.
Oh yeah and TITANIC doesn't have ROME!!!! ROME is 10 times more cool than the
coolest shot in Titanic. (if ya don't count Kate Winslet on the couch that is) Wouldn't ya
love to see Charlton Heston and Leonardo DiCaprio in a chariot race against one another.
Leo's crushed mangled body grasping for breath as the doctors amputate his used-to-be
legs... AHHHHHHHH WHAT A MOMENT!!!

Ummm where was I? Oh yeah.. Dad and I begin talking back and forth about the politics
of the Academy process, the disappointments, the stupidity of Warner Brothers for not
hyping Samuel L Jackson for Best Actor for 187. But those idiots at Warners (but not for
long) don't have a clue about Jackson's performance potential. Anyway after drinking 175
cups of tea and java, Dad and I are vibrating through objects and ready to go home.

As I get home I begin working on my Oscar Breakdown, and I decide to turn on the
Radio to listen to. OH MY GOD!!! RoboGeek has taken over a radio station. The
regular host sounds scared. RoboGeek is going on and on and on and on about how
NOTHING can STAND against the AWESOME might of TITANIC. It will pulverize the
universe and stand mighty above all the PUNY films. There is a quiver in his voice as he
talks of Kate Winslet. Then he begins spouting money figures and using words like
"awesome", "History Making", "unprecedented", "Impressive" and the Host begins
saying... "We gotta go now" as Robogeek is droned out by somesort of music. Wait that
music!!! That's TITANIC ROBOGEEK WINS!!!! About this time an annoying local
news dude calls up to demand an interview NOW!!! I agree. This morning I had already
done 4 Oscar interviews. SIGH.... And I can't even remember who I was talking to.
They just told me to talk. I did.

I call the radio station that RoboGeek was holding hostage. I demand that he let the
hostages go and come over, because he has a chance to hold a television crew hostage.
Robogeek says, "COOL!" and I could hear his tires spinning from across town.
Meanwhile I continued to work on OSCAR FORECAST.

The media dude from the local FOX affiliate comes into my room with a camera,
Robogeek arrived too late and is banished to... the living room. I can hear him cursing
(Robogeek cursing sounds like: Gosh Darn it!!! Holy Sissafrash!!!
DurnDooDooHeads!!! You you you .errrrrrrrrr!) The interview was short (maybe 10
minutes or so) and I was free. RoboGeek came in and we talked about the Oscars. I
show him my predictions and he wants to combat Hallenbeck in an Oscar ShowDown! So
I set it into motion.

Meanwhile I have to go. I had to meet the Fabulous Film Literate Person (she won't let
me call her Babe, Fox, Tart, Goddess, Beauty, or use words like Schwing, (homer sounds)
or any other caveman attraction terms) You have heard of her exploits at the Heart Of
Texas Film Festival and at the Jackie Brown Special Screening. I will hereby refer to her
as Pretty Pretty. A term from Barbarella. Hahahahahahaa.. She didn't say I couldn't say
"Pretty Pretty" hahahahahahahahaah. You see Pretty Pretty is very smart, she also
happens to be Pretty Pretty, and she hates be reduced to merely Babe, Fox, Tart, Goddess,
Beauty or have sounds used to reference her. So, Pretty Pretty and her mother known as
MoM, and her brother known as Brother are meeting my Dad, Me and my Sister Satan for
dinner and a movie.

We eat at Trudy's Central by the University of Texas, about 15 years ago I was brought
here for my 'last supper' surrounded by Judas' and given my last bread and wine before
being kidnapped to the northern hell known as SEYMOUR. (long story that won't be told
before my review on MINNIE AND MOSKOWITZ)

We eat. Pretty Pretty gets a Tortilla Soup, her mom gets Tortilla Soup and a Taco, her
brother got something I'm sure. My Sister Satan got fajita quesadillas, my father got
Smoked Chicken Enchilladas (maaaan, that's a hard word) in Chilpote' Sauce, and I got
the Meaty Man Enchilladas with extra Meaty Sauce. And our side of the table ordered
whole wheat tortillas by the ton, extra green sauce, extra chips.

After the meal we rushed to the theater. I leap from the rusty innards of our so-called
motor vehicle and cross busy traffic to reserve seats for myself, Dad, Pretty Pretty and her
MoM. My Sister Satan had homework to do (she is writing up the Fatty Arbuckle alleged
rape incident for Criminal Justice Class. Yeah you geeks just wish you could have her. I
trained her to be a master mistress geek and nature took care of the beauty. Hahahaha...
Some geek will be lucky some day, but for now she's smitten with a buncha hair called
Lobo Tommy. Glen and Robogeek are devastated...)

Once inside I realize that this is going to sell out. (it's free) Seymour Cassel was going to
introduce the film and talk about John Cassavetes. First off I got to meet Seymour Cassel
and he is a Cool Guy. You would know him instantly by sight, but probably not by name.
Go check out IMDB and you'll see who I'm talking about. What a face, man!!! This guy
has 'put me in a movie' all over his face. A face made for lighting.

I sit back and watch Seymour walk down the aisle to take his place up front. You see this
is an Austin Film Society event, part of their John Cassavetes Film Series, and well I hadn't
seen this one. And imagine my shock to get to meet Seymour Cassel, a Cassavetes
standard. What a treat. I love the Film Society. Pretty Pretty is trying to hold a seat for
her MoM, but this angy Armenian looking guy with a furry thing on his head and a big
beard keeps trying to force Pretty Pretty to relinquish MoM's seat. Pretty Pretty looks at
him like he's DIRT and he soils his seat. Pretty Pretty held the seat, though her MoM
chickened out and abandoned her. (later I found out she was drinking coffee with My
Sister Satan.)

I was very tired when this movie started, but I'll be damned if it didn't fire me up.
Seymour Cassel plays the lead romantic character. You see, Cassavetes wasn't scared of
hiring someone who was less than perfect for a romantic lead, because in reality romance
can come in all shapes and sizes and looks and attitudes. That's what MINNIE AND
MOSKOWITZ is about. And it's great. To watch Seymour (that's the character's name
too) swoon Gena Rowlands (Minnie Moore) is a joy. Filled with interesting characters
that are all Real reel characters. You have met these insane people, and yes you love
them. The most unlikely love story on film that reflects the way love is in the real world.
Seymour is INSANE. He goes to Bogart films and yells his whispers and has nothing to
hide. He has long hair, a big nose, a moustache that put Sam Elliot's to shame. He will
leap out of a truck to beat someone up, he'll slam his head in a wall, he'll even eat ice
cream to prove his love. His love for Minnie Moore is soooo deep that it causes him to
scream out, "I love you so much, I forgot to use the bathroom!!" Truly that is love. If
you are so wrapped up in the woman/man you are with that you piss yourself without
knowing it... it is truly love. However, you shouldn't do this on purpose, but if it
accidently happens, I highly suggest using Seymour's line.

Minnie is beautiful, scared and worried about the future. She doesn't want to grow old
alone, she wants someone to love, but when she closes her eyes and pictures the face next
to her in her life for all time... well... Seymour's mug is not the one she sees. But Seymour
is so driven, so sure of his love he can not let her go. I admire this beyond all other
aspects in a person. To know what they want, recognize it when they see it, and to give
no quarter in the pursuit of it. That's right... to be driven to succeed in your dreams.
Seymour in all his vulgarities is a beautiful being, and when you finally see the love in his
eyes, you will swoon too. The honesty of this film will slap you in the face, it'll
disorientate you with it's energy. I wasn't expecting this film to be nearly as great as it is,
it hit me between the eyes and it did the same to Pretty Pretty.

Did you see Manny in Runaway Train? If you did, you know the basic character of
Seymour. A man driven on the basic needs and desires of life. A man that wants hot dogs
for his cuisine, that adores parking cars, that could cut off his own moustache that
obviously was grown with love. He was willing to cut off his own mane of hair for
Minnie, and she loved him for it. I love this film, find it, dig for it, watch it. It really
shows you why it is important for directors to be independent. To tell their own stories
without compromise, with the actors that will give the most LIFE to the film.

Watching Seymour Cassel capture the audience perfectly proved to me how corrupt the
Studio Process is that would not consider Steve Buscemi for the lead in their Hulk movie
due to his lack of 'leading man potential'. WRONG. Audiences love interesting faces,
characters and personalities. When the credits roll on ARMAGEDDON this summer and
the audience leaves the theater talking about how great Steve Buscemi is, you'll see that
it's not the surface that counts, but the soul and personality of a great actor that is
winning. Anthony Hopkins is not the most handsome man in the world, but audiences
loved him a thousand times more than it would have loved a Richard Gere in the same role
in Silence of the Lambs. Cast for perfection, not for points. Never is this clearer than in
MINNIE AND MOSKOWITZ. Try to find it, if not, check out Cassavetes' other films.
Here in Austin the series will continue with WOMAN UNDER THE INFLUENCE and
KILLING OF A CHINESE BOOKIE. Before this screening they showed HUSBANDS
and SHADOWS. Check it out, you'll be surprised. Cassavetes is generally known as
being the father of the independent film, and while I tend to shy away from saying such
statements, I will say John Cassavetes is a filmmaker who's films you need to see. Check
them out, if you have a romantic bone in your body you'll love him. If you don't have a
romantic bone, maybe he'll put one there.

After the film Seymour talked and talked and talked. Unfortunately from my seat I
couldn't hear all the quotes, but suffice to say we had a character actor yoda delivering
wisdom from a 70 film vantage point. The audience was held enthralled by him. Look
him up in IMDB and start at the bottom and work your way up.