Saw MINNIE AND MOSKOWITZ yesterday, it was made the year I was born, 1971. One thing I love about seeing movies I have never seen before is proving to myself that I haven't seen all the good movies yet. That when I talk of 'bests' and 'worsts', that I really don't know what I'm talking about, because as long as jewels like MINNIE AND MOSKOWITZ exist unearthed by my eyes, I have a reason to see another film and to live another day. A movie like this makes you realize that there are as many unseen movies in the past as lie in the future. Anyway let me tell you of the day that put me in the mindset to really love MINNIE AND MOSKOWITZ...
The day started at dawn. It was OSCAR NOMINATIONS day. Which means I have to wake up and go to work early. I begin playing channel surfing till I get to the morning show that looked best suited for covering the Oscars and got my notepad and pen ready. Meanwhile I was hopping online to track down the full list. I was at the Official Oscar site, and was continually reloading, BUT... all I could get when I clicked on 'Nominees Here' was the list of eligible films. ARGH!!!!!!! So I call up RoboGeek, who was absolutely obsessive over the entire endeavor. He, of course, had the list already. I asked him to e-mail it on over, but NETCOM was screwing him over something fierce. He was having to log on via Glen's service, he was having to use his hotmail address, and Hotmail was acting up. After about twenty minutes of 'barnfarkling' I ask Robo to just give me the URL he got the list from, and I go off and get it myself.
When I got the list I was shocked to see Cameron left off for screenplay, which Woody Allen (someone I would normally be elated to see nominated, but this year Deconstructing Harry was terrible, in my opinion) got via the kneejerk automatic Woody ballot process. Then I was hooting and hollering over Danny Elfman getting 2 nominations. Then I was shocked to see James Brooks not in the Director's nominees. I knew Jodie Foster wasn't going to get nominated, but that didn't lessen the disappointment. And I have to admit I was rooting like crazy for Pam Grier to be nominated. Oh yeah, and where the hell was Kevin Smith in the original screenplay category, Chasing Amy was a hell of a good movie and wonderfully crafted. Which reminds me, personally I was holding a spot in the Best Actor category for Ben Affleck for Chasing Amy. And Binky for Supporting Actor would have been about as hilarious as a one armed push up by Jack Palance.
Then my father and I went to go grab breakfast at Kerbey Lane. Kerbey Lane is a magical breakfast factory nestled in the shady grove (oops that's another restaurant) of a street you can never find. It has these prozac pancakes and sleepy-belly migas (not their actual names) that are better than any of the drugs you can find across the street at the hospital. We don't regularly eat there, but we always take the nominations and go somewhere to eat breakfast and sort through the nominations. We write our 'pukes', 'want2wins' and 'willwins'.
Personally I love the 'Puke' category because this is where I get to just be arbitrary. Rational thought goes out the window, and I become Cro-Magnon Harry. That hunchbacked furled browed beast that hits animals in the head, rips their hindquarter off and begins chewing through fur. Ahhhhh CRO-MAGNON HARRY!!!! Feared by the feeble!!!
Dad begins 'COPYING' my predictions. I know it. He claims that he just feels that the winners are the winners and the winners he feels are the winners just happen to be the winners that I feel to be the winners. And that the losers are the losers because they are losers and anyone with eyes can see loser tatooed to there forehead. HE COPIED ME!!!!!!! I hereby level the charge at him. No... no really he copied me... I wrote first... yes I did. Whaddya mean ya don't believe me? I did... I PICKED FIRST. No, I didn't copy him. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, I want my migaaassssss!!!!!
(Time passes and Harry Calms)
We ate, and ate and ate. A favorite past time of mine. We begin pouring over our choices, I check to see how many awards I want TITANIC to get (5) vs how many I think it will win (12). I really don't want TITANIC to beat BEN HUR. I think BEN HUR is a film much closer to my heart than TITANIC, which I also hold dear, but Leo is quite simply NOT CHARLTON HESTON. Billy Zane is not MASALA!!!!!! And the TITANIC sinking doesn't have a Miklos Rosza SCORE!!!!! And where the hell is the chariot race? I do have to admit the sailing sequences in TITANIC are vastly better looking than the sailing sequences in BEN HUR, but that's only because they didn't have the technology to realize it. They did, however, have super cool slave drum dude and gnawing at their ankle slaves, and spurting defooted people, and wow that movie is cool. Oh yeah and TITANIC doesn't have ROME!!!! ROME is 10 times more cool than the coolest shot in Titanic. (if ya don't count Kate Winslet on the couch that is) Wouldn't ya love to see Charlton Heston and Leonardo DiCaprio in a chariot race against one another. Leo's crushed mangled body grasping for breath as the doctors amputate his used-to-be legs... AHHHHHHHH WHAT A MOMENT!!!
Ummm where was I? Oh yeah.. Dad and I begin talking back and forth about the politics of the Academy process, the disappointments, the stupidity of Warner Brothers for not hyping Samuel L Jackson for Best Actor for 187. But those idiots at Warners (but not for long) don't have a clue about Jackson's performance potential. Anyway after drinking 175 cups of tea and java, Dad and I are vibrating through objects and ready to go home.
As I get home I begin working on my Oscar Breakdown, and I decide to turn on the Radio to listen to. OH MY GOD!!! RoboGeek has taken over a radio station. The regular host sounds scared. RoboGeek is going on and on and on and on about how NOTHING can STAND against the AWESOME might of TITANIC. It will pulverize the universe and stand mighty above all the PUNY films. There is a quiver in his voice as he talks of Kate Winslet. Then he begins spouting money figures and using words like "awesome", "History Making", "unprecedented", "Impressive" and the Host begins saying... "We gotta go now" as Robogeek is droned out by somesort of music. Wait that music!!! That's TITANIC ROBOGEEK WINS!!!! About this time an annoying local news dude calls up to demand an interview NOW!!! I agree. This morning I had already done 4 Oscar interviews. SIGH.... And I can't even remember who I was talking to. They just told me to talk. I did.
I call the radio station that RoboGeek was holding hostage. I demand that he let the hostages go and come over, because he has a chance to hold a television crew hostage. Robogeek says, "COOL!" and I could hear his tires spinning from across town. Meanwhile I continued to work on OSCAR FORECAST.
The media dude from the local FOX affiliate comes into my room with a camera, Robogeek arrived too late and is banished to... the living room. I can hear him cursing (Robogeek cursing sounds like: Gosh Darn it!!! Holy Sissafrash!!! DurnDooDooHeads!!! You you you .errrrrrrrrr!) The interview was short (maybe 10 minutes or so) and I was free. RoboGeek came in and we talked about the Oscars. I show him my predictions and he wants to combat Hallenbeck in an Oscar ShowDown! So I set it into motion.
Meanwhile I have to go. I had to meet the Fabulous Film Literate Person (she won't let me call her Babe, Fox, Tart, Goddess, Beauty, or use words like Schwing, (homer sounds) or any other caveman attraction terms) You have heard of her exploits at the Heart Of Texas Film Festival and at the Jackie Brown Special Screening. I will hereby refer to her as Pretty Pretty. A term from Barbarella. Hahahahahahaa.. She didn't say I couldn't say "Pretty Pretty" hahahahahahahahaah. You see Pretty Pretty is very smart, she also happens to be Pretty Pretty, and she hates be reduced to merely Babe, Fox, Tart, Goddess, Beauty or have sounds used to reference her. So, Pretty Pretty and her mother known as MoM, and her brother known as Brother are meeting my Dad, Me and my Sister Satan for dinner and a movie.
We eat at Trudy's Central by the University of Texas, about 15 years ago I was brought here for my 'last supper' surrounded by Judas' and given my last bread and wine before being kidnapped to the northern hell known as SEYMOUR. (long story that won't be told before my review on MINNIE AND MOSKOWITZ)
We eat. Pretty Pretty gets a Tortilla Soup, her mom gets Tortilla Soup and a Taco, her brother got something I'm sure. My Sister Satan got fajita quesadillas, my father got Smoked Chicken Enchilladas (maaaan, that's a hard word) in Chilpote' Sauce, and I got the Meaty Man Enchilladas with extra Meaty Sauce. And our side of the table ordered whole wheat tortillas by the ton, extra green sauce, extra chips.
After the meal we rushed to the theater. I leap from the rusty innards of our so-called motor vehicle and cross busy traffic to reserve seats for myself, Dad, Pretty Pretty and her MoM. My Sister Satan had homework to do (she is writing up the Fatty Arbuckle alleged rape incident for Criminal Justice Class. Yeah you geeks just wish you could have her. I trained her to be a master mistress geek and nature took care of the beauty. Hahahaha... Some geek will be lucky some day, but for now she's smitten with a buncha hair called Lobo Tommy. Glen and Robogeek are devastated...)
Once inside I realize that this is going to sell out. (it's free) Seymour Cassel was going to introduce the film and talk about John Cassavetes. First off I got to meet Seymour Cassel and he is a Cool Guy. You would know him instantly by sight, but probably not by name. Go check out IMDB and you'll see who I'm talking about. What a face, man!!! This guy has 'put me in a movie' all over his face. A face made for lighting.
I sit back and watch Seymour walk down the aisle to take his place up front. You see this is an Austin Film Society event, part of their John Cassavetes Film Series, and well I hadn't seen this one. And imagine my shock to get to meet Seymour Cassel, a Cassavetes standard. What a treat. I love the Film Society. Pretty Pretty is trying to hold a seat for her MoM, but this angy Armenian looking guy with a furry thing on his head and a big beard keeps trying to force Pretty Pretty to relinquish MoM's seat. Pretty Pretty looks at him like he's DIRT and he soils his seat. Pretty Pretty held the seat, though her MoM chickened out and abandoned her. (later I found out she was drinking coffee with My Sister Satan.)
I was very tired when this movie started, but I'll be damned if it didn't fire me up. Seymour Cassel plays the lead romantic character. You see, Cassavetes wasn't scared of hiring someone who was less than perfect for a romantic lead, because in reality romance can come in all shapes and sizes and looks and attitudes. That's what MINNIE AND MOSKOWITZ is about. And it's great. To watch Seymour (that's the character's name too) swoon Gena Rowlands (Minnie Moore) is a joy. Filled with interesting characters that are all Real reel characters. You have met these insane people, and yes you love them. The most unlikely love story on film that reflects the way love is in the real world. Seymour is INSANE. He goes to Bogart films and yells his whispers and has nothing to hide. He has long hair, a big nose, a moustache that put Sam Elliot's to shame. He will leap out of a truck to beat someone up, he'll slam his head in a wall, he'll even eat ice cream to prove his love. His love for Minnie Moore is soooo deep that it causes him to scream out, "I love you so much, I forgot to use the bathroom!!" Truly that is love. If you are so wrapped up in the woman/man you are with that you piss yourself without knowing it... it is truly love. However, you shouldn't do this on purpose, but if it accidently happens, I highly suggest using Seymour's line.
Minnie is beautiful, scared and worried about the future. She doesn't want to grow old alone, she wants someone to love, but when she closes her eyes and pictures the face next to her in her life for all time... well... Seymour's mug is not the one she sees. But Seymour is so driven, so sure of his love he can not let her go. I admire this beyond all other aspects in a person. To know what they want, recognize it when they see it, and to give no quarter in the pursuit of it. That's right... to be driven to succeed in your dreams. Seymour in all his vulgarities is a beautiful being, and when you finally see the love in his eyes, you will swoon too. The honesty of this film will slap you in the face, it'll disorientate you with it's energy. I wasn't expecting this film to be nearly as great as it is, it hit me between the eyes and it did the same to Pretty Pretty.
Did you see Manny in Runaway Train? If you did, you know the basic character of Seymour. A man driven on the basic needs and desires of life. A man that wants hot dogs for his cuisine, that adores parking cars, that could cut off his own moustache that obviously was grown with love. He was willing to cut off his own mane of hair for Minnie, and she loved him for it. I love this film, find it, dig for it, watch it. It really shows you why it is important for directors to be independent. To tell their own stories without compromise, with the actors that will give the most LIFE to the film.
Watching Seymour Cassel capture the audience perfectly proved to me how corrupt the Studio Process is that would not consider Steve Buscemi for the lead in their Hulk movie due to his lack of 'leading man potential'. WRONG. Audiences love interesting faces, characters and personalities. When the credits roll on ARMAGEDDON this summer and the audience leaves the theater talking about how great Steve Buscemi is, you'll see that it's not the surface that counts, but the soul and personality of a great actor that is winning. Anthony Hopkins is not the most handsome man in the world, but audiences loved him a thousand times more than it would have loved a Richard Gere in the same role in Silence of the Lambs. Cast for perfection, not for points. Never is this clearer than in MINNIE AND MOSKOWITZ. Try to find it, if not, check out Cassavetes' other films. Here in Austin the series will continue with WOMAN UNDER THE INFLUENCE and KILLING OF A CHINESE BOOKIE. Before this screening they showed HUSBANDS and SHADOWS. Check it out, you'll be surprised. Cassavetes is generally known as being the father of the independent film, and while I tend to shy away from saying such statements, I will say John Cassavetes is a filmmaker who's films you need to see. Check them out, if you have a romantic bone in your body you'll love him. If you don't have a romantic bone, maybe he'll put one there.
After the film Seymour talked and talked and talked. Unfortunately from my seat I couldn't hear all the quotes, but suffice to say we had a character actor yoda delivering wisdom from a 70 film vantage point. The audience was held enthralled by him. Look him up in IMDB and start at the bottom and work your way up.
