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AICN COMICS! @$$Holes Review AQUAMAN, HAWKMAN, PUNISHER, JUDGMENT DAY, And More!!
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Table of Contents
(Click title to go directly to the review)
AQUAMAN #14
HAWKMAN #23
JUDGMENT DAY (TPB)
THE BOOK OF BUNNY SUICIDES
PUNISHER #1
FALLEN ANGEL #7
"4"
Cheap Shots!
Tales from the Crevice: DEATH OF AN AARDVARK, PART II
And if any of this doesn't work, don't blame us. Blame SCIENCE!
AQUAMAN #14
Writer: John Ostrander
Penciller: Tom Grummett
Inker: Wade Von Grawbadger
Publisher: DC Comics
Release date: 01/14/04
Reviewer: Sleazy G
Aquaman is a notoriously hard character to write. He’s been the butt of all the jokes in fandom. Hell, even John Belushi ragged on the guy. He’s been done well enough at times, I suppose, but for some reason people find any randomly selected flying dude a lot more interesting than a mighty, ass-kickin’ underwater king...who talks to starfish. Recent writer Rich Veitch helped prove just how hard a character Arthur Curry is to do well with the first 12 issues of Aquaman’s latest relaunch. He proved it by writing a year’s worth of dismally wretched dreck.
I was ready to give up on the series entirely until I heard that Veitch was leaving the series, to be followed by John Ostrander for two issues and H-E-R-O’s Will Pfeifer from then on. I’ve enjoyed Pfeifer’s work over on H-E-R-O, and I’ve long been a fan of John Ostrander. He’s never been known as one of comic’s flashier or more popular writers like the Byrnes and the Claremonts or the Waids or the Loebs. Thing is, he’s *better*. He’s never been a show-off, and he’s never done stuff for the sake of “cool” or to draw attention to himself by doing stories with big, dumb ‘splosions. Everything Ostrander does, he does with class, intelligence and style. He does it in the service of the story and the characters. I seem to remember Ostrander having a theater background here in Chicago, and that pays off when he tells a story. He understands the right way to construct a tale with multiple threads, and he knows how to build tension. He also understands that he’s writing spandex books, and the readers want a little excitement in their stories.
Ostrander’s run on THE SPECTRE was a solid, compelling tale, and a hell of a long run, too. He showed us how The Spectre was meant to be done, and then J.M. DeMatteis showed how it really shouldn’t. In the same way, after a year of Rick Veitch showing us exactly how *not* to do Aquaman, Ostrander came in and showed us exactly how it *should* be done. Seriously, folks, if you don’t have AQUAMAN #13, go back to the store and get it. It has pathos, heroism, and an ending I was honestly shocked to read. We’ve all seen these kinds of stories before, where we get perspective on the hero through the eyes of a civilian. This one, though, is different, as we get to see the pain that results when a hero gives everything they have and still fails. It really put Arthur through the wringer, and the reader along with him. John Ostrander told a better story in that 22 pages than you could stitch together from the entire previous year’s worth of stories.
Then he followed it up with AQUAMAN #14. This one doesn’t show Arthur from just one civilian’s perspective. Instead, we see it from several. This story is a little lighter than its predecessor, but of the same high a quality. It has some heavy moments, but they’re offset by some great laughs, too. The plot device in this issue is a writer tasked to come up with a story about Aquaman for a magazine article. The first place he goes for help is a class full of little kids. Each of the kids has a completely different perspective on who and what Aquaman is, but they’re all right - they just choose to focus on different aspects of him. He then meets with women his own age, including his sister and “the ex”. Turns out “the ex” comes up with a completely BS story about Aquaman just to piss the poor guy off, but he doesn’t take the bait. Instead he talks to a bunch of firemen who have a story about how early on in his career, before anybody knew who Aquaman was or what he could do, he helped them save people from a burning building. It wraps up with the reporter talking to the girl he *should* have dated (and may yet) about her run-in with Aquaman and the trouble he helped her through. This all sounds fairly typical, I’ll grant you. In Ostrander’s hands, though, every single one of these stories served to highlight not just the many different directions this character has been taken over the years, but the way they come together again to form a protagonist we can understand and relate to.
I have to make a point of mentioning the art in this issue. I liked what Grummett and von Grawbadger did all the way through. In particular, though, I was blown away by the artwork near the beginning in the comic-book story drawn by one of the little kids. I actually laughed out loud at every single panel. They nailed what it used to look like when we were young and tried to draw and color our own stories. The huge splash title-page, “Aquaman vs. Octo-man...IN COLOR!” gave me flashbacks to my old coloring books. *This*, my friends, is the kind of comic art I’d love to buy and frame if I had the money. They follow it up on the very next page by drawing some panels in a more “Superfriends” meets Sea-Monkeys style, and then a page of the “Obsidian Age” Arthur-wave. These pages, with their rapid style changes and overall lightness, are a delightful balance for the heavier moments that come later, (although the book ends on a hopeful note).
I’m really excited to see John Ostrander back in the DCU. He’s a consistently strong, entertaining writer who takes the development of the characters seriously. It would be a wonderful thing if these two issues got him more work at DC. I write a lot of negative reviews here, so I’m asking you folks to take notice here. Help the writer, the book and the character by buying AQUAMAN #13 and #14. You’ll get to read two damned good stories in the process.
HAWKMAN #23
Geoff Johns - Writer
Rags Morales - Penciller
Michael Bair - Inker
Published by DC Comics
Release Date - 01/14/04
Reviewed by Village Idiot
Way back in JLA #74, the last page featured a fairly busy group shot of the villains, with a large Golem-like character holding up a battered and bloody Flash. "Oh, well, there's Flash," I thought to myself, and went on my merry way. It wasn't until I got online and found people on message boards talking about that last page that I found out that Flash's legs had been torn off. I went back and sure enough, there was Flash, sans legs. In fairness to me, the inker, Tom Nguyen, had made the comment that he hadn't noticed that Flash's legs were missing until he had to ink that part of the picture (which may say something about the quality of the picture in the first place), but I swore I'd never miss another comic book dismemberment again.
Well, I'm sad to report that I missed another one. It wasn't until I REread HAWKMAN #23 a few minutes ago that I realized that at a certain point, Hawkman actually chops the villain's arm off. I can remember being a little confused when I first read it by the squish Hawkman made as he approached the character (he was walking through his blood), but it wasn't until I gave the whole scene full attention and really looked at a particular panel that I figured out what had happened. Of course, the panel where the arm is revealed is heavily shadowed, and as with JLA, it was tricky to catch. I'm telling you, it's not my fault.
So now, let me take this opportunity to appeal to DC to make all future appendage severances as clear as possible. I mean, if you go to the trouble of including a scene as shocking and graphic as the loss of a limb, you might as well go for it. We want to see your severed arms and legs. We want to see your chopped-off heads. But mainly, we just want to know what's happening in your comic books, and we'd rather not have to find out about it later from some guy named Zillagod37.
Sillyness aside, I think HAWKMAN #23 was really an issue of JSA. Which is actually okay, because I like JSA.
The JSA gang have all decided to meet in St. Roch during what appears to be Mardi Gras, even though St. Roch is neither New Orleans or Rio de Janeiro. As they wander through their little night out on the town, we get a glimpse into the characters and their subplots, including Hourman struggling to hold back his addictive personality, and Power Girl struggling to hold back her breasts. By the end of the issue, the JSA have been alerted to the exploits of Black Adam and his team which took place in JSA #53 (BA and friends mopped the floor with DC's latest Iraq proxy). The JSA are on the case! -- but not without some internal power-struggles on the horizon.
Again, this was really an issue of JSA, with the relationships among this family of superheroes taking center stage. Nice to see some follow through on some story threads, including acknowledging the disturbing aspect of having Captain Marvel, who appears as a full-grown man, courting the teenage Stargirl. Other vignettes may not have gone down so well; for example, there was something about Dr. Mid-Nite saving the prostitute from her killer pimp which felt a little too easy. But the thing about these "character moment" issues is that if one vignette isn't working, another one will come down the pike that will. And if you're a JSA fan, and you've lived with these characters for a while, there comes a point where you simply enjoy being around them. Kudos to Geoff Johns (and the departed James Robinson) for creating that kind of loyalty.
But the really stand-out aspect of this issue for me was Rags Morales. Despite my taking three paragraphs to gripe about the fact I couldn't discern something from the art in the issue, I really did like the art in the issue. Morales has a dark shading and texture to his work that kinda reminds me of "comix" and the work of guys like R. Crumb. A really terrific feel to what he's doing; a lot of personality. This is one of those times where I'm going to suggest that the next time you're in the comic store, you pick up the issue and at least look at the art to see what I'm talking about. I loved it.
Well, except maybe for Power Girl. My fellow reviewer Ambush Bug was a big fan of PG in this issue, a HUGE fan, but when the gal starts looking like Chyna, I have to get off the bus. In fact, there almost seems to be a disturbing trend at DC to make all the buxom women look like linebackers. (Over at JLA, Wonder Woman's been looking positively anabolic.) So let me take this opportunity to appeal to DC to stop making their women so muscular. Just stop it. Fit is good, we like fit. But the shoulders on PG in this issue? Come on.
Remember DC, less muscle-bound women and clearer dismemberment. Is that really so much to ask?
JUDGEMENT DAY (TPB)
Writer: Alan Moore
Artist: Rob Liefeld
Contributing Artists: Too Long To List
Published by: Checker Book Publishing Group
Release date: 1/14/2004
Reviewed by: superninja
The funny thing about reading Alan Moore's take on these Image characters is that you can clearly see the early incarnations of his storytelling style that would eventually define his America's Best Comics line. Specifically, Alan Moore's inclination to see ancient gods and heroes, pulp adventurers and superheroes, all as a part of the cosmic tapestry of mythmaking.
I'm sure all of you love and remember Youngblood: filled with characters already strangely familiar, but ya just couldn't put your finger on it! You know, Shaft (the poor man's Hawkeye), Sentinel (the poor man's Iron Man), Vogue (the poor woman's Black Widow)…ugly costumes all. Before Image fell apart and before Awesome Entertainment brought Moore in to attempt to resurrect them, these characters were blatant rip-offs and always have been. There is nothing particularly special about them, but to give credit where it's due, Moore always finds something interesting say about them. As in his revision of the Supreme character (out now in a trade titled Supreme: The Return) he manages to take a character that's a swipe (let's just use Superman, for an example) and turn it into something unexpected and imaginative. But that's Alan Moore for you. Which is why I picked up Judgement Day.
This collection is a series of Youngblood stories (and a few short stories tagged on at the end) where Alan Moore tries to work his magic. I say tries, because Youngblood are not archetypes like Supreme or Glory. So Moore has to make these characters fit into the larger framework of another one of his engaging, time tripping stories. In this case, a superhero murder that results in a superhero on trial. It's unsuccessful as a Youngblood story, but quite interesting on its own.
Alan Moore's character Promethea, being many things, is in part about the gift of language and the written word to allow the imagination to be freed from the realm of the mind and to have power in the here and now. That's what's Judgement Day is in a nutshell. Sure, it's dressed up like a superhero trial, but at its heart it's the story of a Book that was given to man by a god during pre-history. Passing its way from Conan to Tarzan, from the Lone Ranger to Nick Fury and his Howlin' Commandos, from hand to hand at times, bringing with it both curses and blessings up into the present. It's what made Eve take a bite from the apple in the Garden of Eden; it's something terrifying and amazing all at once and a temptation to those whose hands it passes through. What's interesting about this story is how Moore brings together all of these myths and legends and weaves them up to the present to solve the superhero murder mystery. Amusingly, Moore even uses the Book to explain the superhero deconstruction wave all the while pulling the past into the present.
I can't finish this review without mentioning the art. As humorous as I find Liefeld's art (“Find the nose!”, “Where did her foot go?” and “Hide the cantaloupes!” are all diverting games…), his art really isn't terribly distracting here. Some of the collaborators include Steve Skroce, Chris Sprouse, Dan Jurgens, Ian Churchill and Keith Giffen. Whether you like all of these artists or not, there is a wide variety to be found in Judgement Day and some of it damn fine stuff.
If you like Alan Moore and if you want to see the early building blocks of ABC, it's worth checking out.
THE BOOK OF BUNNY SUICIDES
(Little Fluffy Rabbits Who Just Don’t Want to Live Anymore)
By Andy Riley
Plume Books / Penguin publishing
Reviewed by Lizzybeth
Okay, when I look at a bunny rabbit, generally I’m not imagining ways that they could die. But I’m not Andy Riley. Andy Riley not only envisions a couple dozen variations of bunny death, he envisions ways for them to off themselves, should they decide to end it all. Why a cute, fluffy bunny should have a death wish is not addressed here - maybe they’re in bunny adolescence (a delicate couple of weeks), or they just can’t face another year of presidential campaigns, I don’t know. All I know is, this book is nothing at all but pages and pages of bunny massacre, and it’s very, very wrong, and very, very funny.
Please don’t call the ASPCA. I like rabbits, really. I just can’t help giggling at these simple little white cartoon bunnies with brilliantly deadpan faces scheming their way into death and dismemberment like demented little Bugs Bunnys. The methods range from the simple and direct (sitting below a wobbly stalagmite) to ridiculously complicated Wile E. Coyote plots. There’s death by bottle opener, death by space shuttle, death by Leaning Tower of Piza, death by Nazis, and my favorite, death by Galaga. Riley’s mix of the deeply silly and the deeply disturbed is reminiscent of, yes, The Far Side, along with the aforementioned Warner Brothers tradition of convoluted injuries. His cartooning shows great promise; the guy can really set up a gag, and his drawings are simple but capable, and of course, funny. The concept does wear a little thin by the end of this 80+ page booklet, but you can’t beat it as a coffee table book. You can test your friends - not by whether they laugh, but how guilty they look when they do.
PUNISHER #1
Writer: Garth Ennis
Pencils: Lewis Larosa
Inks: Tom Palmer
Publisher: Marvel MAX
Released: 1/14/04
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
Well, slap my monkey! I honestly can’t believe I am writing this review. When I picked up the first issue of the MAX version of THE PUNISHER, I was expecting more of the same shit that I have come to expect from the Marvel version of Garth Ennis. Since I’ve began reviewing for the @$$Holes, I’ve been pretty hard on Garth and his take on the Judge, Jury, and Executioner of the Marvel U. I pleaded with Garth to retire from the book here. I called him a mongoloid monkey with syphilis here. And just a few weeks ago, I gave the book another Cheap Shot to the groin here.
I was at the end of my rope, hating every single page Ennis wrote about a character that, on one hand, is admittedly not the deepest character in comics, but on the other hand, is a character nonetheless and has the potential to be written well, if in fact, the writer actually gives a shit about the character. By the end of the last PUNISHER series, I was convinced that Garth in fact couldn’t give a half a shit about the character and merely wanted a fat paycheck and an outlet to shat forth bad dialog, piss poor plots, and vacant characterization. I knew Garth was better than what I was reading in THE PUNISHER from month to month. PREACHER, HITMAN, GODDESS, PRIDE & JOY, UNKNOWN SOLDIER, and DEMON were all testament to this. When I picked up the first issue of Marvel MAX’s latest series, I was preparing myself for the same old shit. But like I said before, albeit less eloquently, I was totally surprised at what I saw.
In this issue, Garth Ennis actually writes a story about the Punisher, from the Punisher’s perspective, respecting the Punisher’s character and the Punisher’s history, and makes it an entertaining Punisher story without succumbing the lowest form of gross-out humor that ran rampant throughout the last Punisher series! Okay, I may have used a few too many Punisher’s in that last sentence, but gimme a break, I’m frikkin’ excited! Finally, we get to see Garth tackle Frank Castle with a bit of depth. Sure there is a lot of blood, guts, and grue. I don’t mind that. Never did. But when it’s played solely for laughs and shock value, it wears pretty thin. It definitely was worn thin in the previous series. The carnage that takes place in this issue is very real. Through the Punisher’s eyes, we see the gory death of his wife and children. We see why he does what he does. Then we see him do it. Eventually, we do see Ennis’ trademark panels with noses and arms blown off in a melee of bullets and explosives, but the action never feels like a cartoon. This is a grim world that the Punisher doles out his form of justice in and Garth handles it perfectly.
My positive reaction to this book may have a lot to do with the art. Ennis’s artistic standbys John McCrea and Steve Dillon have their strengths, but they also cannot help themselves from veering towards the realm of caricature and satirical art. As much as I like these artists, I feel that their art takes away from the serious themes of the Punisher’s world. The art team of Lewis Larosa and Tom Palmer is different. There is tangible terror in Frank’s daughter’s eyes, utter dismay and confusion in the faces of the Punisher’s victims, and cold, dead hatred seething from every shot of Frank Castle. There isn’t one funny bit in the intense shots as the Punisher storms the mob boss’ party. I’m glad there isn’t. The Punisher is an anti-hero. His actions shouldn’t be laughed at. He’s doing terrible things because terrible things were done to him. This is an interesting concept to explore, but too often in recent years, the horror of this violence has been overshadowed by comedy. Instead of responsibly dealing with a book that centers around a homicidal killer and the ramifications and outcomes that come from this violence, Marvel and Ennis made the violence a joke; reveling in the variety with which death comes and forgetting that this is a medium that is very influential to its readers (at least it was when I was growing up and reading comics). I’m glad Marvel and Ennis seem to have realized this may not be the most responsible message to send out to their readers and the violence is depicted in a more serious fashion in this issue. This art is not the most beautiful or poetic or detailed, and it shouldn’t be. Larosa and Palmer draw a bleak, dark world highlighted with blood and explosions. The perfect type of art to visualize Frank’s world.
Another thing that really kicked my ass was the fact that this was a damn near perfect and proper way to start a series. There’s an introduction which not only allows those who don’t know the character to get a little back story, but also keeps those of us who have read the Punisher for years entertained as well. Then there’s an ultra-violent action scene that flows seamlessly from the intro. Something actually happens in this issue. And the main character does it. And it’s a Marvel book (believe me, I checked the cover a few times as I read it to make sure). This was the first Marvel intro issue that I have read in a long time that did not feel as if it were paced solely for trade. To top it all off, this standalone story offers tiny tidbits in the middle and at the end which tease the reader to come back for more next issue. I’m not going to reveal the surprise guest star at the end, but I will say that he’s a person from the Punisher’s past, he should be dead, and Garth better have a damn good reason behind his apparent resurrection. I know continuity is not king at MARVEL MAX, but I hope this good start to this series isn’t ruined for me by having Garth totally ignore the death of this integral character in the Punisher’s history.
Having read the last PUNISHER series, I never thought I’d be recommending this new one. Who’da thought Garth would’ve done this much of a turn around in one month. And I might be proven wrong. Who knows? Garth may be back with transvestite Russian bodybuilders and Wolverine-bashing in the next issue. But as long as Garth stays on the path he started with this new MAX series, he’s got a fan in me. The thing is, I’ve always been a fan; a fan who always knew that Garth could write the Punisher better than the crap from the previous series. In PUNISHER #1, Garth proved me right.
FALLEN ANGEL #7
Writer: Peter David
Artist: David Lopez
Publisher: DC Comics
Release Date: 1/14/04
Reviewed by Cormorant
Peter David’s gothic Casablanca, FALLEN ANGEL, opened strong with the first two issues devoted to punchy, self contained stories. Characters established, mysteries begun, pump primed. Issues three through six marked the first extended story, a grisly affair involving a powerful demonic entity taking up residence in Bete Noir and...err...making women explode in gory chunks. A solid journey, I thought, with many an excellent moment, but a dissatisfying conclusion. The precise nature of the creature was revealed only in the broadest generalities, and our heroine’s means of dispatching it was utterly confusing to this reader.
Of the few criticisms I’ve heard levied against FALLEN ANGEL, the “too much ambiguity” one is finally starting to seem valid too me. It was absolutely a hook for me initially, and I still like the slow-burn revelations about Lee - the titular “Fallen Angel - and the town of Bete Noir, described by one character as “the city that shapes the world.” The problem is that there’s too much ambiguity going around for the reader to quite become attached to anything or anyone. The atmosphere, the individual “bits,” and the rogues gallery of characters have easily managed to maintain my interest, but as a new arc dawns with issue #7, I find my patience with the big mysteries finally being tested.
The story opens with a flashback: Lee’s first confrontation with her villainous opposite in Bete Noir - “Black Mariah.” If the name means anything beyond a reference to the character’s ethnicity (she is black), it’s gone over my head. Based on a quick Google search, I’ve determined that “black mariah” is a card game similar to hearts, the name of a Tom Waits song, a fat drug-peddling villainess from an old issue of LUKE CAGE, HERO FOR HIRE, and a kind of throwing dart.
Hunh.
In FALLEN ANGEL, though, she’s an attractive black woman who, like many of the shadowy players in Bete Noir, is involved in some kind of bad business - precise nature unknown. What we do know is that she shares a sort of smart-ass pleasure in going about her badness (we see her enjoy killing a potentially traitorous underling in the flashback), and that she has some sort of power to burn people with just the touch of her hands (that’s how she offs him).
From past issues, we know that driving Black Mariah from Bete Noir was the act that put Lee on the map in the city, and that Mariah quietly made her way back during the previous arc. I like the character. She’s cool and confident, and she actually seems to care for her lover, a beefy Brit (or is he an Aussie?) who works for the city’s vice lord, Dr. Juris. Love is always redemptive, even when the character in question is a murderess, and given that Lee seems to love no one - even her sexual partner, who happens to be Juris himself - I find myself actually liking Black Mariah over our eternally moody and distant lead. Intentional on David’s part? Not sure, but it’s interesting.
So: we see the pair come to blows in the flashback, Mariah scarring Lee’s arms and in doing so explaining one of the book’s smaller mysteries (the ninja-style straps Lee wears on her forearms). Jumping to the present, we get a curious scene of Lee’s “day job” - women’s soccer coach at the local community college - where, as in past issues, she does a pretty poor job of playing den mother to her girls. I really can’t tell what David’s playing at in showing her awkwardness and insensitivity in dispensing advice. Lee’s morals are always cloudy, her successes never clear-cut, but to get down to brass tacks: what’s the point? These are interesting scenes in and of themselves, but if we’re meant to see a theme developing (beyond, say, “it’s a harsh world”) or some sort of meta-context to all this...well, let’s just say I could use the Cliff Notes right now.
The meat of the issue’s plot involves a quid pro quo deal Black Mariah offers Lee. It relates to a mysterious ancient relic from Lee’s unchronicled first adventure in Bete Noir, and while there’s some ruthless fisticuffs over it and a double-cross or two, I hit the last page of the issue understanding little about its nature or why I should be emotionally invested in the conflict.
It’s frustrating to say the least, because up until recent issues I was having a ball with the book’s “no status quo” status quo. I love a mystery, even a persistent one, but if there’s one thing I learned in wasting a year and a half reading Bruce Jones’ X-FILES-themed INCREDIBLE HULK, it’s that I need some goddamn answers doled out periodically. I still love the rogues gallery of characters in FALLEN ANGEL, from the refined and oddly sentimental Dr. Juris to pidgin-English-speaking drug dealer Asia Minor to Black Mariah herself. I like the dark atmosphere. I like the unflinching, somewhat lurid depictions of sex and violence. I like the concept that Bete Noir is some sort of metaphysical seismograph to the world. I like the confident, mildly stylized art of David Lopez, vaguely reminiscent of Argentinean artists like Eduardo Risso and Leandro Fernandez. I like that Lee, the Fallen Angel, wears a blood-red cloak when she’s in action, suggestive of a pulp hero on the order of The Shadow. And I still like that Hitler, a man all but synonymous with evil, is both bartender and father figure for Lee.
I like all of these things, but if David continues to hold readers at a distance from the true nature of his characters and the enticing city he’s built for them, I’m not sure if I can continue to like this book.
“4”
Written by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa
Illustration by Steve McNiven
Reviewed by The Comedian
Release Date 2/11/04
“Realism.” We’ve had that term rammed down our collective throats by Marvel as an excuse for shoddy, half-assed story telling for three years now, haven’t we? Iconic costumes have been ditched for hipster leather jackets. Wings have been removed from heads. Entire issues have been wasted on conversations about who would play whom in a movie and on supporting characters visiting psychiatrists. Worst of all we’ve had to consume a lot of sensationalist, bastardized, shock value dribble hiding behind the cop-out of realism. The very oxymoron of the “realistic superhero book” has been debated on message board, in comic shops and in these very talkbacks time and again. All of this for the most part was blamed on a meandering, outsider, exhibitionist jackass who’d taken over the House of Ideas and was despised by the readers in a manner reminiscent of the hatred the fat kids in “Heavyweights” had for Ben Stiller. But that era is thankfully over.
“4” is a prime example of the “new” realism that’s becoming prominent with the post-Jemas Marvel. In “4” the FF are essentially being written as real people with real problems but without all of the glitz and shock value pandering to the lowest common denominator. The issue starts off with a birthday party for Franklin with a goofy out-of-place cameo by Marvel’s poster boy for all their fucked up previous attempts at realism in all his chainmailed, wing-headed glory. The rest of the issue is about the FF finding out that they’ve been ripped off by their embezzling accountant and forced to go out and find real jobs. I know it sounds ridiculous but it’s actually very well written except for the annoying narration that ends each character moment. “Reed Richards. Mr. Fantastic. Brilliant Scientist. Intrepid Explorer. Stay-at-home dad?” Yeech. The characterizations are true to their roots unlike previous “realistic” takes on icons. Aguirre-Sacasa keeps the FF true to who they are. By putting them up against these real life problems he brings new levels to these characters and they shine all the brighter in this context. His Johnny Storm is tired of not being taken seriously but still too much of a spoiled, ego-crazed brat to do anything about it. The scenes with Sue in particular work well to this effect. I’m guessing that what he’s going for is the original Lee/Kirby feel for these characters as real people.
The only problem is with all these realistic problems and situations there's not much time for actual super-heroism. It’s kind of the opposite of the old school where the heroes would try to be doing something normal and then Ultron or Magneto would crash their softball game or Arcade would ruin Colossus and Nightcrawler’s double date. This kind of storytelling has the real life stuff interrupting the adventure. Between this and Morales’ Captain America (which I like and think is a big step in the right direction but damnit, I need to see Cap actually fighting someone), Marvel Knights is slowly turning into the “Guys who stand around and talk” imprint. I guess they’re taking a page from the success that Bendis had with this formula on Daredevil. I just don’t know if I can read a whole issue about Spiderman having to pay his light bill.
Still, with Waid writing what some say is the definitive Reed Richards in the regular book and Millar and Bendis ironically enough turning the FF into the Power Pack of the Ultimate Universe, this book has just as much of a right to be on the shelves. And speaking as someone who’s never really been all that into the FF and all its overlapping fantasy elements of the three, it’s the one book I’d actually consider picking up every month.
Cheap Shots!
CAPTAIN AMERICA #22 (1/14/04) Not great, not horrible. Morales at least isn't making Cap a whiner but I think the whole political nature of the story is suspect as it's obvious where Morales' politics lie. MODOK and the Serpent Society can't show up fast enough! - superninja
BLACK HOLE #11 (1/14/04) Another year, another issue of BLACK HOLE. This being the next-to-last issue, perhaps now isn’t the best time to use a new cover motif and logo... but that’s the only thing to criticize about this book, even for an @$$hole. Tiny plot recap: a sexually transmitted plague strikes an average ‘70s town, rapidly infecting the teenage population with spontaneous and groteque mutations such as tails, scales and extra eyes. Infected teens form an outcast subgroup in the town’s outskirts, shunned by friends and families, fumbling with drugs and living arrangements, and mysteriously gunned down by one of their own. Definately not a teen sex romp; more of an anti-nostalgic kick in the gut. Still, there’s something touching about the attachments formed here, the way the kids attempt to take care of each other in the midst of creeping horror. Charles Burns’ incredible inks more than justify picking up this book. Sure, you could wait for the collection, and it’s sure to be a good one, but you could be waiting another year for the trade. 11/12ths of the series is already on the shelves, and every issue's a keeper. Check this thing out. - Lizzybeth
SUPERMAN: SECRET IDENTITY #1 (1/14/04) It started out really great and by the end was just good. A solid read, but nothing to crow about. It sort of feels like Busiek gave up something special about this concept too early, but I'm sure he'll make the other installments interesting. I'm a little disappointed, but in a good way. - superninja
IRON WOK JAN does it again. I always tell myself they have to run out of ideas eventually, but this issue was another fun ride. And this time, I went out and had Chinese after reading it. No spring rolls, though. - superninja
HOW LOATHSOME #4 (9/24/03) Nooooooooooooo! The last issue? But I just found this book! It’s the only goth comic out there that’s actually good! It finally puts Ted Naifeh’s striking character work to good use! And instead of being about vampires and fairies and voodoo girls and magic, it’s about their real-world equivalents: drug addicts, rent boys, drag queens, and the people who love them! Of course, this kinky underground travelogue was for grown-ups only (you must be this tall to ride - does the idea of tranny-chasers, heroin-addled club-hoppers and various sexual misadventures leave you curled up in a corner sucking on your thumb, and not in the good way? Then do not enter!) and so perhaps is not built to last in the same way as, say, COURTNEY CRUMRIN. Still, this series was so refreshingly different and startlingly humane that it put other so-called “mature audiences” comics to shame. More please! - Lizzybeth
1602 #6 (1/14/04) I thought Gaiman was being a little long-winded and vague in building upon the story in earlier issues of this series. In this issue, the real payoff of all of that setup begins, and it's exciting, adventurous stuff (including a twist I never expected). I'm glad that I've stuck with this series, instead of letting my ADD take over and abandoning it. Gaiman dealing out the story in small doses and building to a storm has worked its magic on me, but I can't help but think that it will read much better collected and that it should've been a trade to begin with. - superninja
INCREDIBLE HULK #65 (1/14/04) - What can I say about this series that I haven't said before? It's still God awful. Remember how successful clones were in Spider-Man a few years back in MAXIMUM CLONAGE? Apparently, writer Bruce Jones doesn't because there are more clones in this book than you can shake a gamma-irradiated stick at. Once again, Jones counteracts each and every thing we believe to be true with another counteraction. No one knows the truth. No one knows what's going on. All of a sudden Banner clones are trying to rape people. No one knows which Hulk is in this book (Stupid Hulk? Banner-Hulk? Clown-Hulk?). And guess what? NO ONE CARES! Why does Marvel continue to punish us with Jones' HULK month after month? Did Quesada lose a bet or something? One positive thing about this book: After four months, they finally spelled Doc Samson right in the intro page. Way-ta-go, Axel Alonso! - Ambush Bug
TEEN TITANS #7 (1/14/04) Okay issue. However, I really liked the generation gap stuff between Clark and Conner. I've never cared for Superboy, but Geoff Johns has made him extremely likeable to me and he feels like a teenager trying to come to grips with his own identity. Actually, they all have at times, but this issue it's Superboy's turn. - superninja
NIGHTWING #89 (1/14/04) - Billed as the most shocking single issue published this year! This issue may not live up to that hype, but it was pretty good. In two issues, Blockbuster has destroyed every aspect of Nightwing's life. Last issue, he burned down the circus that Dick grew up in, and in this issue, he takes care of the rest of his life. In this new storyline, Nightwing's life is the stuff that bad country songs are made of. All he needs now is for someone to run over his dog. Barbara Gordon dumped him. He was fired from his job as a police officer. And now the events of this issue make it so that Dick's life as he knew it is gone forever. Devin Grayson always said she wanted to write NIGHTWING. After a relatively slow start, this series has really picked up in the last few issues and it doesn't look like the pace is slowing with the promise of a rematch with Nightwing's arch-nemesis, Shrike, in the next issue. Patrick Zircher and Andy Owens supply surprisingly phenomenal art. - Ambush Bug
GOTHAM CENTRAL #15 (1/14/04) This is one of the best Joker stories to come down the pike in a long time, and he gets pumped full of lead at the end, not just thrown into Arkham after taunting Batman for the 100th time. A smartly written issue and the artist did a fantastic job with the Joker - particularly on that first page. You can just feel the evil emanating from him in that panel. - superninja
Death of an Aardvark II: The Quickening
A Tales From the Crevice Special by Vroom Socko
Welcome to part two of my obituary for Cerebus the Aardvark, the massive 300-issue achievement by writer/artist Dave Sim. Part One is right here, for those of you that missed it. In this installment, we have the 1,200 plus page behemoth story arc called Church & State. Taking on such topics as religion, politics, and the politics of religion, this is where Cerebus really takes off as a narrative.
C&S begins with Cerebus putting together a book on the fundamentals of governing, written in the style of Og Mandino by way of Attila the Hun. His work is soon interrupted, unfortunately, by the return of the Bug. Now calling himself Wolveroach, he regales us with his brand-new-never-before-revealed-origin, then vanishes and returns with an even-newer-never-before-revealed-this-time-it’s-for-real-origin. And somehow it all manages to make more sense than the actual “origins” given to Marvel’s favorite cash cow.
Once Cerebus rids himself of the Roach, he finds an even bigger obstacle in his way: President Weisshaupt. Thanks to a plot involving Red Sophia (and her very frightening mother), Weisshaupt has reduced the position of Prime Minister of Iest to little more than a figurehead, forcing Cerebus to act as his puppet. This results in one pissed off aardvark, not to mention a hilarious sight gag involving his pants.
The new powers of the President soon bring Weisshaupt into conflict with the Church of Tarim, who see themselves as the true leaders of Iest. The current head of the church, Bishop Powers, intends to circumvent the power base of the President through the selection of a new Pope, one who can be manipulated yet still be seen as a man of the people.
Guess who becomes the new pontiff?
Cerebus, it turns out, is a lifelong orthodox Tarimite, who sees the position of Pope as the height of personal power. Forsaking both Powers and Weisshaupt, he moves into a small hotel on the mountainside of Iest. There, he begins preaching a sermon akin to the work of Oral Roberts, demanding that everyone in the city-state surrender their gold to him in two weeks time, or else Tarim will destroy the world.
This section is one of my favorites, introducing the characters of Boobah and Bear, two mercenary friends from Cerebus’ days in the army. We are also introduced to Gerhard, Sim’s new artistic partner. These two just gel together perfectly, especially in the dream sequence seen near the end of volume one. This dream is strikingly beautiful, innovative, complex, and above all haunting.
Then there’s the return of Jaka. Goddamn. This section is so filled with loving despair, with angst, that it’s almost a thing of beauty. Their conversation is raw pain personified. These two want to be together, but that possibility is destroyed by his position and power and her recent marriage to a man she cares for but doesn’t quite love. Cerebus is a right bastard, certainly, but when Jaka leaves you just can’t help but feel sorry for the little fucker. The look on his face as he waves goodbye is just heartbreaking.
But then we move into volume two, and the shit really starts to hit the fan. The Roach returns as the Secret Sacred Wars Roach, who quickly starts talking to himself a la Frank Miller’s Dark Knight. It was funny back when that perspective on superheroes was new, and now that it’s a cliché it’s even funnier. There’s also the first glimpse of socialite stoners Mick and Keef, and the return of several familiar faces from the barbarian stories.
But the bulk of volume two is taken up by two events. The first is the arrest and trial of Astoria. Charging her with treason and blasphemy, Cerebus himself stands in judgment over his former benefactor. It’s during this scene that both Pope and prisoner are subjected to a series of visions, echoes actually, of the same trial set in another era with similar participants. This is when the phrase “something fell” shows up, words that Sim uses both here and later on as shorthand for “you think you know what’s going on, but I’m about to turn everything on it’s head, as well as fuck with yours.” What the something is, or how or why it fell, is never really touched on, and is in fact one of the more interesting sources of debate among Cerebus fans.
The second major event in volume two occurs when Cerebus, with the help of Weisshaupt and Bob Burden’s Flaming Carrot, ascends into the heavens. Expecting to meet with Tarim himself, Cerebus instead finds himself on the surface of the moon. There the Judge, a strange cross between the Watcher and Judge Crater, greets him. The Judge then gives him a lecture on the history of the universe, the arrogance of man, and tells Cerebus his fate before sending him back to Earth. Much of what the Judge says will eventually become the groundwork for the text pieces in Reads, where it’s revealed that the Judge is either misleading Cerebus or doesn’t know as much as he thinks.
Taking up over 60 issues, Church & State is the granddaddy of story arcs. It features some amazing twists and turns, astonishing art, and pitch perfect storytelling.
Except…
There’s one moment that feels more than a bit off. In fact, it’s quite disgusting. After Astoria is arrested, there’s a section where Cerebus is interrogating her in private. After some verbal sparring, Astoria begins to tease the pope a bit. Cerebus responds by gagging and blindfolding her. Then he rapes her.
Now, I don’t think that rape is something that shouldn’t be shown or discussed in comics, but neither do I think that it should be treated lightly. That our “hero” rapes Astoria doesn’t disgust me, but her response does. While she is being treated to the most damaging abuse known, (physically, mentally and emotionally), all she can think is, “I’ve never been so humiliated in my life.” As if having every fiber of your body violated is comparable to showing up at a formal dinner in the same dress as the hostess. The real sick part, however, involves the origins of Astoria’s character. You see, she was based on Sim’s wife Deni, who divorced him about a year or so before Astoria was assaulted. Make of that what you will.
This is, of course, a sign of things to come. However, it’s only a small part of this otherwise amazing, thought provoking arc. The next section, though, is where Cerebus reaches its creative zenith, with the absolutely amazing one-two punch of Jaka’s Story and Melmoth. Until then, here’s the…
Question For Discussion:
What comic do you think has made the best use of religious themes?
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Frank Miller Daredevil
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DAREDEVIL.
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Looks like the Bug's been playing Zork again. Meanwhile, on the subject of Cerebus, let's set the record straight right here at the start of the Talkback. Astoria was NOT based on Deni Loubert. Sim has said this more than once (most recently in last month's "Cerebus" and, if I'm not mistaken, he even said it BEFORE he went crazy), and early sketches from the bi-weekly reprint series confirm that he originally based the character on Mary Astor in "The Maltese Falcon". I can't say for sure that he WASN'T thinking of Deni when he wrote the sequence (which provided a really concrete example of how much of an evil bastard Cerebus has become at this point in the story), but in this case I choose to give Sim the benefit of the doubt. I also notice that you forgot to mention one of the most significant events in Cerebus history, the addition of Gerhard to the series' art chores. The book really wouldn't be the same without him. (Church and State Vol. 2 is my favorite book in the series, btw). sk
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If you had read the book you would know that as pontiff Cerebus, married himself to her, did the deed and then divorced her.
Ok tacky and not nice.
By the way just because someone is based upon someone you know in real life does not mean that everything that happens in the book you wish yo could do to them, grow up idiot. -
God help the woman you wind up with, fevriul. sk
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The fact that Cerebus declares them "married" certainly DOES NOT make it less of a rape. If anything, it makes it more despicable.
BUT, you left out the part where Astoria takes off her panties, puts them on Cerebus' head, and offers sex in exchange (I think I'm remembering this right) for her freedom.
Complicating the issue even more, Cerebus gags her before she realizes he's going to "take her up" on the sex, so she can't actually voice her refusal.
BUT: Cerebus knew she WOULD refuse, if she could.
VERDICT: Yeah, pretty much rape. But the guy's a murdering barbarian! What do you expect!? -
Read the issue, then rag on the review if you disagree. There's a noticable differnce between the two series and it isn't the use of curse words. How's that for fewer words?
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Jan 21, 2004 10:47:10 AM CST
As I recall it, Astoria didn't offer Cerebus sex in exchange for
by rev_skarekroe
...she was teasing Cerebus, making fun of his religious position and the rules of the Church - she forgot that, as Pope, Cerebus could make up those rules as he went along. sk
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But we don't find that out for a long, long time. Many issues later (I don't have them in front of me), Astoria reveals that she goaded Cerebus into doing what he did because she wanted to get pregnant. She was hoping the child would be an aardvark that she could control, unlike Cerebus (the 3 existing aardvarks all being creatures of great power and influence).
This doesn't let Cerebus off the hook of course, because he did not know what she was doing. But it does make sense of her "This is so humiliating" line. -
I have a hard time believing that a forward-thinking fellow like Mr. Dave Sim would allow his character to sink to such depths. Must have been a typo.
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Covers are cool, TOC is cool. How did you guys get an advance copy of 4? I don't even think those lucky bastards at Fourth Rail have an advance copy of it yet. On another note, I think it's an absolute shame that Ostrander is wasting his talents on Aquaman. Can't they get the guy a better gig than that? A new Suicide Squad, maybe? ANY other not-mediocre character?
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i gotta say, that aquaman isuue was great, with the little kids and everything
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...reveals Astoria was, I think, bargaining for her freedom. She says, leading up to the event, "I'm going to do you a FAVOUR... And AFTER I do you a favour... I'll ask you to do ME a favour..." Then off come the panties, and the taunts come as she puts them on Cerebus' head with her foot. I'd forgotten about the pregnancy angle... Astoria did indeed want to goad Cerebus into jumping her. She just didn't imagine he'd see fit to gag her (and not even hear out her offer!) before going through with it. Reading the scene again, though, it only makes sense that he'd gag her... She's set him up so many times in the past, and there are guards, and Bishop Powers, and Lord Julius, all waiting just outside the door. He couldn't possibly trust her not to cry out in the middle of the act. Not that I think Cerebus had this in mind! Yeesh. New verdict: Cerebus, in his own mind, was guilty of rape. Astoria, to her thinking, was not raped, but only humiliated, accosted, and used in a way just a little differently than she DID want. An analogy: I kill a man at random. Later, it turns out he was an assassin, about to shoot me with a gun hidden in his pocket. In fact, I killed in self-defense. But as far as I knew at the time, I was a murderer. Final word on the matter?
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Astoria may have TOLD Cerebus she was trying to get pregnant, but her internal monologue during the event in question tells a different story. At least to me. sk
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When I go to the store today, I'm probably going to be picking up #13 and #14. I'm glad to hear that Ostrander is doing so well, but once Pfeifer takes over, won't we be back at square one?
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I'll pass that along to the boys in R&D.
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I picked up the first few issues of Veitch's Aquaman, got bored and dropped the book.
LOVE Ostrander! His Suicide Squad is one of my all-time favorite series, still enjoy re-reading them. Por eso, I am also going to pick up Aquaman 13 and 14 today, but that's probably it. -
Actually, Marvel previewed the entire 1st issue of '4' in last week's Wizard. That's how I read it. See sometimes being a complete zombie to crappy price guides and fellating press releases pretending to be journalism has it's perks. And best of all, no ads. But seriously, one thing I forgot to mention is what seriously, smoking hot Sue Storm McNiven draws. And not in an over-the-top gratuitous way either.
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First off, please, PLEASE don't randomly spoil the comics like you did for Gotham Central #15. Very poor form indeed. -=-=-=-=- Captain American #22: Sometimes I think I'm the only Bachalo fan out there. I loved his Weapon Plus run on New X-Men, and I think he's perfectly suited for Captain America. Despites the promise of last issue, the serious tone and low key action didn't last. Its as if the writer really didn't know where to go, so he constructed a series completely improbable scenes that don't stand up well by themselves, let alone as part of a 5 issue arc. Cap attacking his commanding officer repeatedly was insulting to the fans, and the lame would-be murder mystery doesn't hold my interest for a second. And I haven't even said anything about all the liberal propaganda... -=-=-=-=- 1602 #: By far the most disappointing issue so far. The previous 5 issues have done exactly what the above reviewer said: building up the story. What do we get on the first few pages of this issue? The worst Deus Ex Machina I've ever read. Gaiman has a great idea for the plot, but no way for the 17th century Marvel counterparts to discover it. So we get the good old Watcher, head big as life, explaining the whole thing. This reads like Gaiman pitched the first five issues and figured out the rest as he went along.
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Finally with the covers! Well done.
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Hey man, I apologize for the Gotham Central spoiler. Good issue or not? - couldn't really tell by your comments.****Count me in as another shmuck picking up Aquaman this week. Damn your eyes Sleazy!
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I actually just read it! I guess you really didn't spoil anything important. I thought it was good. And from what I've read, their not going to just start a new arc. The next several issues of the Gotham Central will be directly dealing with the after-effects of the Joker's killing spree. GC remains one of my favorite titles.
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I think it's obvious (from her later pronouncement) that Astoria wanted Cerebus to impregnate her during that encounter. She may have planned on seducing him, only to have him abuse his position as Pope and "rape" her.
Her internal monologue (which I'll have to go back and reread) seems to be more "the things I'm willing to do to achieve my goals" than actual rape related humiliation. By seducing him, she would have maintained the dominant role in the encounter, despite being bound. Cerebus took that away from her, with his vile but technically legal "marriage".
Bottom line - Astoria got what she wanted, just not quite on the terms she wanted. -
. . . Aquaman? He's such a lame, one-trick character that I cannot get into him and I doubt that would change, regardless of who is writing him. For some reason though, I do dig Namor . . . not the current series, but the character as depicted in Avengers, FF, and the Byrne series from way back. Part of that is probably that Namor is the original "anti-hero" with a cool pissy attitude and a chauvinist way with women. He's combustible enough that his stories are interesting in most any context. For me, Aquaman has always been blander than Superman, and the various retrofits over the years have done nothing to interest me. Particularly when DC was trying to make him out to be some kind of Ka-Zar clone (without the loveable Zabu).
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I'm having a hard time with the politics being bandied about in this title, as I do not share their views. However, I've been surprised that Morales is being as evenhanded as he is. In this issue in particular, the portrayal of the soldiers at Guantanamo. Of course their CO has to be a total facist asshole and Cap's liberal senator buddy defending the Iranian professor is a stand up guy. I'm trying not to jump the gun, because I think Morales may have some twists planned. Still, it's not as bad as I thought it would be and I think I kind of like his Steve Rogers. He feels familiar again. I agree that the plot is uneven and broken up by lots of silly moments - the NYC art scene, Cap beating up the CO, taking his girlfriend's phone call to avoid the CO, etc. I'm still going to stick with it. I just wish Cap could take a breather from writers personal political views and get back to kickin' supervillain butt.
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looks about old enough to be his daughter. I know Diamondback was in her early 20s, but she looked a little more, ahem, mature.
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...but not about the Deus Ex Machina. Dude, if that's the worst Deus Ex you've ever read, you need to read more. In fact, it's not really Deus Ex, unless you're going SuperAnalLiteral and latching onto the word "God". The "weapon" was so well established throughout the previous issues, the axis around which the plot spun, so it would have been a major let down to NOT have it play a big role in the resolution. Not to mention that the "weapon" was an integral part of the Marvel Universe, the foundation upon which the story is based, that would have been glaring in its absence if it didn't show up. *** But what I do agree with is the handy dandy exposition we got, which is fine, except that we got so much damned exposition during the first few issues that we should be beyond scenes where somebody is sat down and everything is explained to them. Too much premise, Neil, not enough actually doing something with it.
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Dave's said for years -- before the divorce, during the divorce, and after the divorce -- that Astoria is not based on Deni but is, instead, a composite character based on a number of women he'd known in his life.
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...that makes rape A-OK with me!
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There is absolutely no question there is a very different tone and style to this issue. It's completely different from the first 50 issues of Punisher Ennis wrote. It's not accidental, either. At Wizard World Chicago this year Joe Quesada said that Ennis wanted to go in a new, more serious direction with the book and he wanted to go MAX with it. When Quesada explained this meant no more guest appearances by the likes of DD and Spidey, Garth said that was the point. He wrote the final storyline as a last hurrah, but they won't be back. The reason the book seems so different to us is that it *is* different, and that's the whole point of it. Just because you guys don't see it doesn't mean it's not there. No more ridiculous shitting on capes, no more retarded "which family member does Soap sleep with this week?" subplots. From here on out we should see more focus on who and what Frank Castle is and a hard-edged vigilante war on crime, not comical murders and slapstick humor. It's about damned time Ennis started writing the kind of book his fans knew he was capable of all along.
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It's nice to know you all responded so well. Honestly, they're well worth the read. I'll be surprised if you don't dig 'em.
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He's such a misogynist prick. Who gave him a comic deal in the first place?
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I do have the first several issues of the Punisher though so I hope it does well. Not that the Dolph Lungren one did anything for its value.
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Please find yourself something real sharp and see how many times you jam into your ass before you die.
Other than the afore mentioned suggestion, (which I hope you'll follow through on, because it would be funny....to me anyway.) spot on about the new series. I love the last series and still think you have NO FUCKING IDEA who the Punisher is or how he should be handled, I'm glad Marvel has finally taken the reigns off of Garth and let him work his magic.
But, seriously, like, tape an x-acto knife to a dildo and just go wild! -
No, seriously. It's an old fashioned prisoner transport unit. So a character called Black Mariah would have connotations of imprisonment and working with authority
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Rape? No thanks... geez...
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But no. Razored anal probing may be your thang, but it's just not for me. Your eloquent use of words merely drives the point home about the WWF style mentality that Garth was aiming for in the last series and the mouth-breathing audience that seems to go for that sort of thing. So I didn't like something you liked. Do I tell you to go dry-hump a barb-wired fencepost? No, I do not. I merely recognize the fact that I have a differing opinion than you and move on (although, I may be snickering as I mosey away). Garth used the Punisher as a joke in the last series and this time he's taking him seriously. Hint: It's the part where he actually recognized Frank as a character and talked about the day his family was killed. Didn't see any of that in the last series. Garth was too busy trying to have Detective Soap fuck another family member to bother with that character bunk. Anyone who followed the Punisher character before the last four years would find the return of focus back to Frank to be refreshing. But why do I bother, Mr. High? I've seen you jump onto these talkbacks for the last few weeks and spit nothing but hatred and bile and idiocy. Why not crank down all of that pent up testosterone and incite a conversation about why you disagree with the review instead of resorting to childish name calling and trolling? Are you able to do that, boobie? Or are you so invested in the book that you take it as a personal attack when anyone has an opinion other than your own? Quit being an angry internet cliche and let's try to have some talking back and forth in these talkbacks. Save the idiocy for the other talkbacks, here we like to kick it up an intellectual notch.
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It's not realistic to think that someone as successful as Reed Richards could ever end up like that given the situation he is facing. Look at the real life of Donald Trump. HE filed bankruptcy and he and Marla Maples didn't end up as a stay at home dad and a substitute teacher. Neither did O.J. Why, therefore, would Reed Richards, other than because the writer wanted it that way? Furthermore, this isn't even the first time that Marvel has done this old saw. I'm pretty sure Stan and Jack did the "FF loses their fortune" bit in the 1960s, and Roy Thomas and/or Gerry Conway (I think) did it again in the 1970s (in that case, the excuse given for Reed not finding a job was that he was--get this--OVERqualified for everything...sheesh). Oh well, I guess every generation of comics fans has to suffer through this plot at least once...
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Jan 22, 2004 12:10:24 AM CST
Best use of religious themes in a comic? BATMAN: HOLY TERROR!
by dave_f
It was one of the first Elseworlds and easily the most controversial as it posited Bruce Wayne growing up in an America that was an ultra-conservative, oppressive theocracy (insert "how's that different from the real world?" joke here). Wayne studies to become a minister, but when he finds out his parents' murder was actually a state-sanctioned execution (pa Wayne performed illegal abortions and treated gays and other persecuted minorities), he dons the bat-like demon costume used in a passion play and sets out to exact some decidedly unholy vengeance. Fantastic on every level save the so-so Norm Breyfoggle art, and DC should show some cajones and reprint it. ******* Okay, that's actually NOT the best use of religious themes in comics, but it did stick with me. Actually, I can't recall any terribly meaningful look at religion in the comics I've read offhand - maybe I just need to think on it longer. Easier to just recall the notable appearances of the subject: the manga NAUSICAA had some pretty moving, yet abstract spiritual themes; George Perez's WONDER WOMAN run had some interesting thoughts on paganism; John Ostrander created one of the finest *positive* religious characters with Father Craemer in SUICIDE SQUAD (and later made good use of him in his much more religious-themed run on THE SPECTRE); HELLBLAZER and SANDMAN blew my mind with their subversive takes on both Heaven and Hell; and X-MEN: GOD LOVES, MAN KILLS introduced violent religious zealotry to nine-year-old mind. What else you guys got?
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Jan 22, 2004 12:56:36 AM CST
Aquaman, romance, and the state of heroism in today's superhero
by dave_f
Sleazy, that was a good, ballsy call on the two AQUAMAN issues. I gave 'em a go, and while the endings felt a little pat, I was pleased with just about everything else. Ostrander's an interesting guy in that he seems to've managed to hold on to the optimism that once drove the superhero genre even as the rest of the industry is chucking it. His Aquaman's somewhat tormented, but genuinely heroic - almost a romantic figure even. Y'know how Jemas tried to reinvent Namor as a teen heartthrob, probably hoping to garner some of the 14-year-old-girl audience driving manga sales through the roof? Well I almost wonder if the romantic hook (though not the teen one) might actually work for ol' Aquaman? Not talking total reinvention here, but Ostrander's scene of Aquaman comforting the widow got me to thinking the character might actually have some girl appeal. He's a bit of a pretty boy, which is a plus, lives (or has lived) in a magical undersea kingdom, carries around "fixer upper" angst aplenty, and here's the BIG ONE for the shojo crowd...he's been the butt of so many "gay" jokes over the years that the teeny-boppers who get all hot 'n' bothered over the guy/guy manga would probably find that appealing. Stop that cringing, tough guys - most of you don't give a shit about this character anyway. And it probably wouldn't work anyway, as Marvel's Tsunami line is typical of how poorly the big companies have done when they've tried to capture the manga crowd. I'm just sayin'...of ALL the DC icons, Aquaman's one of the few that might find a niche in appealing more to young girls. ****** Getting back to Ostrander's portrayal of Aquaman's selflessness, I'm reminded (by way of contrast) of Bendis's last issue of ULTIMATE X-MEN. You guys read it? SPOILERS AHEAD. Story's told from the POV of a kid whose mutant powers begin manifesting themselves by killing everyone around him for several hundred feet - invisible airborne skin secretions, or something like that. He flees the town after inadvertently killing a few hundred people and takes refuge in a cave, totally panicking as he doesn't understand anything about what's happening. Enter Wolverine, whose mutant healing makes him immune to the kid. Wolverine gives him a beer and tells him, with pretty much zero empathy, that he's a mutant who just happened to draw the short straw and ended up with the worst kind of mutation possible. Kid realizes his life is effectively over, and as Wolverine's just drinkin' with him, but offering no hope for the future, he asks Wolverine to end it all and kill him. Last shot is Wolverine emerging from the cave alone, apparently having granted the kid his wish. THE END. As you might expect from Bendis, the moment-to-moment writing is pretty interesting, but what the fuck is up with the utter luck of compassion and heroism? Apparently Xavier pinpointed the kid with Cerebro, but what, immediately determined there was no possible hope of helping him? No containment suit that might be developed? Nothin'?! Look, I'd have bought the story if it was Mystique or Magneto who'd found him, but when the goddamn heroes give up so easy...ah, it makes you fret for the future of the genre. Now Aquaman finds himself in a similar no-win scenario in one of the issues Sleazy reviewed, a scenario somewhat reminiscent of the scene in THE ABYSS where Ed Harris and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio realize *one* of them is going to drown. Unlike Bendis's Wolverine, Ostrander's Aquaman *doesn't* pussy out. He works. He busts his ass to save the day. He fails...but he accomplishes a small bit of good and reminds the reader that superheroes can still be people we aspire to be. Here
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***Spoilers for Ultimate X-Men 41*** The kid didn't ask Wolverine to kill him. Wolverine was going to kill him regardless. It wasn't the issue of the kids existance, the problem was what would happen if people knew a mutant killed more then 200 people, even accidently. You're right, it is a complete one eighty from what you now as super hero comics. Thats why its the Ultimate line afterall.
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Jan 22, 2004 1:45:02 AM CST
More ULTIMATE X-MEN spoilers - move on if ya don't want to hear
by dave_f
Actually, Fantomex, my distaste for the issue doesn't rely on whether the kid wanted to die or not. My problem is that Wolverine, and apparently the rest of the X-Men (Xavier, at least, since he used Cerebro to track the kid) just gave up on poor kid. Okay, so mutant phobia would apparently shoot through the roof if a mutant was discovered to've caused all those deaths (though...haven't Magneto and the Brotherhood *publicly* murdered hundreds?)...fine...I'll roll with that...but there's not even an effort made to contain the kid? Hide him from the public eye and offer him refuge? Millar was dealing out wild high concepts right and left when he was on the book, but suddenly there's not even an option for saving this kid? I don't buy it. It feels contrived for the sake of a dark ending, and what's more, makes the stars of the book look like shit. The ULTIMATE line, while I don't care much for it, *isn't* meant to be a complete 180 from the regular line. Heroes are still heroes (well, maybe not the Ultimates...), including Bendis's own Ultimate Spider-Man. I wouldn't have even minded a downbeat ending that still resulted in the kid dying, but Bendis reached it in a bad, contrived way.
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I guess you're right, it really wasn't a great issue.
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...it was a short review, but comical nonetheless. Thanks.
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Jan 22, 2004 12:52:44 PM CST
No, I don't think I'll be doing that Ambush Bug, but thank you f
by mr. high
It proves that morally speaking, you're above me and my childish and sometimes infantile approach to everything. I salute your rising above my pathetic and poorly conceived knee-jerk reaction. I also throw myself humbly on your well mannered and ask for forgiveness. Actually, I'm only kidding, I had to watch like tons of tea and crumpet flicks to even get that much. Okay, so maybe you shouldn't violate yourself with something pointy. (Bludgeoning yourself to death with a frozen cat would be enough for me.) But, I really don't think you understand the Punisher AT ALL. You consistently complain about the best run that the character has ever had...because it's....too weird? The Punisher is in fact a SERIAL KILLER. You realize this don't you? He's killing the right people, but he's still a SERIAL KILLER. He wears a cool costume and doesn't run around wearing his victims faces, but he's still a SERIAL KILLER. His world is strange and weird and I've never understood why no one ever took a good look at just how utterly fucked up everything in Frank's life really is until now. As for Frank himself? He's only good when he's reacting to things. The stranger the better, because by himself, he's one note all the way. There's no pain, there's a big ball of hate wrapped up in the shape of a person. Don't you get that? You're not supposed to like him, you're not supposed to even WANT to get to know him. He is what he is and that's how Ennis treats him. The fact that you seem to hate transvestites and giant squids and all that crap, just shows that you've completely missed the boat on probably the best book going. I've got every issue of "The Punisher" in all it's incarnations, because I love the idea of the guy. But, up until now, I've NEVER been happy with the way he was portayed. No one understands Frank Castle. Everyone kept trying to make him into a real person, when all that's left is a shell, a great big construct of violence that is only good if it's reacting. He's not a 'feeling' human being. Writers have tried to give him friends, lovers, motivation and all that crap when it really doesn't matter. Actually, I'd like to see a whole lot MORE of the world Frank moves in and a whole lot LESS of Frank himself. He's like a boogie man for criminals. He's the closet thing to the Terminator that you can get without metal parts. He doesn't need characterization. His world defines him, why do you think he exists? To kill criminals. Criminals are strange, they're sick and they're funny. Frank is none of these things. He never smiles, he never laughs, he never cries, he never feels anything about it. He's like a hyper-violent straight man in the ultimate comedy. So, stop insisting he needs to be 'developed'. Developing him, would change him. Wait a second, you liked that crapass Marvel Knights shit they did a while back, because you keep talking about his 'death'! FORGET IT HAPPENED! THAT BOOK WAS UTTER SHIT!!! If I even smell an angel, God, or type of 'redemtive mission' anywhere near this book, I'm gonna find Ennis and cram his shit last issue of "Preacher" right up his asshole. I'm done, retort?
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I was going to say that Mr. High's comments involving an xacto knife are some of the worst i've read, even on this site. But then he had to redeem himself by declaring that the last issue of Preacher needs to be shoved somewhere. I so agree! I loved the 2nd-to-last issue, and just trashed that last issue and pretend it was never published. RE:Punisher. That character is about the most one-dimensional in comics, and while the first issue of this new run might be good, and even the first 6 could be good, there is just no way to sustain a good Punisher book very long. ps. Those Aquaman comics were all right, but I was a leetle disappointed. pps. I didn't realize it at the time, but that Ultimate X-Men 41 wasn't very good, and the points about Xavier et. al. just giving up so easy are well made.
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Well, Mr. High. I'm glad you were able to drop the unpleasantries and talk a bit. I DO have to agree with you that PREACHER was one issue too long. The story came to a logical and meaningful end in the next to last issue. Anything further than that was beating a dead horse. The issue was overwritten masurbatory ego-speak from someone who couldn't let go of a series till every last thing was exhausted. As for the Punisher, I know he's a serial killer. I know he's supposed to be emotionless. Garth has characterized him as such in the last series, and did so in this new issue. The difference? He told us about the character of Frank. He took the character seriously. He actually focussed on the Punisher in his own book. That's all I wanted in the previous series, and I never got it. If I wanted to read about Spacker Dave or Soap or the Ambiguously Gay Sheriff, I'd buy THE ASTOUNDING TALES OF SPACKER DAVE or THE INEBRIATED ADVENTURES OF DETECTIVE SOAP or THE GAY 'N CRAZY DAYS OF GAY SHERIFF. I didn't buy that comic. I bought THE PUNISHER, but I wasn't getting the Punisher in that series. MAX PUNISHER starred the Punisher for the first time and that's why I liked it. I didn't like the old series. I liked this first issue of the new series. It's as simple as that. (Clear enough for you, SeeThroughThis? I could draw a picture for you if you still can't understand).
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Damn return button. Anyway, as long as Jones still churns out the shit he calls HULK, I'll be there to rip him a new one for it. Books this bad don't come along often, so when they do, you've gotta scream about it as much as possible.
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MY FAVORITE USES OF RELIGION IN COMICS: DAREDEVIL by Miller and Smith... PREACHER by Ennis....FF #54 (Thing revealed to be Jewish)... Morrison's final chilling NEW X-MEN story, which I read pt. 2 of tonite, brings genetic science to New Testament prophesy, the ultimate final story. It has Beast as the Beast, winged ruby-eyed nightcrawling demons, a longhair Logan striking the Jesus pose, Christian militants and a messianic Phoenix. There's probably lots of other symbolism I missed because I'm a JEW, but it's good... which leads me to my favorite religious comic, Alan Moore's PROMETHEA #13-23, a divine brilliant guide to the 11 levels of the Kabbalah's Tree of Life. Moore made God's blueprint of the soul and existence more accessible and relevant than most Rabbis ever have. I highly recommend it..... Now is there any truth to DAVE SIM being a Muslim convert who hates Jews? I'm not up on Cerebus but was thumbing thru what I think is the Church & State collection and it had him ripping up the 3 Stooges, Woody Allen and the whole Jew-created comic mythology in general.
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Worn 'em for years. Still classics, you ask me. As for comics: you're right about PROMETHEA. Even though I find all that crap to be absolute bollocks (and Moore does too, to an extent) I thought he did an absolutely mind-blowing job of presenting the whole thing. As for Dave Sim, last I heard he was supposedly Catholic, but over the last year or two he's gone on rants about spirituality that have as much to do with Catholicism as Madonna does with Judaism.
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His Brooklyn background, his last name, his frequent (at least when Stan and Jack did him) Borsht belt asides.
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When done as created and well executed, the Punisher is the closest thing to that fanboy gushed over oxymoron the realistic superhero. No super powers because THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS SUPER POWERS. A real motivation because TRUTH, JUSTICE AND THE AMERICAN WAY hasn't flown since those men on the Grassy Knoll shot JFK as he passed through Dealey Plaza and since we got to see Viet Nam every night in our living rooms. Killing because, let's face it, if you left real criminals alive they'd kill you...also killing for revenge, see motivation. Because the Punisher has no super powers, he must rely on planning and weaponry. He can't swing on a web through the city or fly overhead looking for the Rhino to smash through a bank. He picks a criminal target and goes after it. In one of my favorite Mike Barron PUNISHER stories, Frank decides to bust a killer, obviously based on Manson, out of prison because he's growing old on Death Row and Frank wants to kill him. He succeeds and ends up offing a Ted Bundy clone as well. And the Punisher isn't emotionless. Frank Miller wrote him as screaming at a hood : "I want you to suffer just like I've suffered." We're back in realism. Those of you whose balls have dropped know what I'm talking about. To get the job (almost any job) done, you can't be wallowing in your angst and reliving your origin every 20 minutes. You plan when you can, you improvise, you adapt and you overcome. Like G. Gordon Liddy said, "Survival isn't enough. You have to prevail." That's the Punisher, bay-bee!
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Jan 24, 2004 4:52:09 AM CST
Any of you Punisher fans ever read Tom Clancy's WITHOUT REMORSE?
by dave_f
I haven't, but from what I've heard, it's sort of a realistic take on Punisher-themes as well (or DEATH WISH themes, if you want to go back a little ways). Here's the Publisher's Weekly description: "Avid readers of Clancy's bestselling techno-thrillers ( The Hunt for Red October et al.) know agent John Kelly, code-named Mr. Clark, as Jack Ryan's "dark side." Here, in 1970, Vietnam vet Kelly gets involved in a secret operation to rescue 20 American pilots from a North Vietnamese prison camp. Betrayed by someone in Washington, the mission ends in apparent failure. Clancy balances the military movements with a dark narrative of Kelly's tragic personal life. While mourning the death of his pregnant wife in a traffic accident, Kelly picks up a young hitchhiker named Pam, a prostitute and drug "mule" fleeing her cruel masters. The pair fall in love and set out to bring down the drug lords, but an error on Kelly's part leads to Pam's horrible demise at the hands of the vengeful criminals. After his own recovery from a shotgun blast, Kelly begins methodically to murder his way through the drug ring. Clancy attempts to rationalize this amoral crusade with passages of introspection by characters who are either noble warriors or human scum, but the technique doesn't wash. Although full of failings of style and moral judgment, this overlong, often melodramatic novel seems destined to follow its predecessors to the top of the bestseller lists." ********** Anyway, sounded like something Punisher fans should check out. Me, I'm not such a fan of justifying real-world vigilantism. I can't stand, for instance, the cartoonish justification for it in Grisham's A TIME TO KILL, and yet...and yet...whenever come across MISSISSIPPI BURNING on cable, I'm compelled to watch Hackman go to town on those rednecks in the end. If anyone's read the Clancy book, let me know if it's stomacheable.
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I think it's Grisham's best book, at least of those I've read (which is embarassingly many). Okay, that maybe doesn't say a lot, but I also think it's a *good* book. What was the problem with it?
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i live in a stupid little town and i work at a pizza place, and i get paid really crappy to do a lot of work. can someone give me a good job, in the movie business or the comic industry, that pays well? i would appreciate it. email me here if you have anything for me. i would love to get paid to write reviews on comics. what a job. my email is mustafaismyname@hotmail.com
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...we'd love to get paid for writing comics reviews too. ;) We just do this for fun. Tell you what: if you know anybody who wants to pay us, let us know. If we know anybody who wants to hire you to work in Hollywood, we'll let you know. That way everybody's taken care of.
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