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Mr. Beaks smothers HELLBOY with Love!
Hey folks, Harry here... I've noticed in many of the stories we've posted, that there was a large amount of unfamiliarity with the HELLBOY comics. So, instead of illustrating Mr Beaks' report with pictures we've all seen on HELLBOY the movie, I'm gonna provide clickable images of Mignola's books that can help educate you for this upcoming comic-film event. Meanwhile, be sure to also check out Smilin' Jack Ruby's HELLBOY report on CHUD while you're at it! Here's Beaks...
More than Vincent, more than One, more than Angel de la Guardia, Ron Perlman was born to bellow, “Aw, crap.”
After watching a good bit of HELLBOY the other day, this was my first note to its director, Guillermo Del Toro, who, when he’s not performing cinematic oral on Herr Knowles, is currently putting the finishing touches on one of the most ambitious studio comic book adaptation to date. And while many have scoffed at the idea of Ron Perlman headlining a $60 million mini-event flick, he carries this sucker with a heretofore unseen mixture of badass brio and eager, boyish charm. His Hellboy is a lovelorn teenager packed into the body of He-Man. Sure, we knew he had the requisite physiognomy for the role, but I don’t think anyone was expecting a performance this nuanced.
This is just one of the many surprises in store from del Toro and company. What’s most impressive is how I walked out of the post facilities buzzing off the high of heartfelt character interaction rather than reduce-a-city-block-to-rubble set pieces. This is partly because del Toro withheld a lot of the major action sequences due to unfinished f/x (though I did successfully badger him to show me the spectacular pre-credit set-up taken from “Seed of Destruction” – more on that later), but it’s mostly due to how perfectly he’s captured the emotionally fragile Hellboy, the worn down Liz Sherman (the never-better, and future Mrs. Beaks, Selma Blair) and the dorky, but likeable FBI Agent, John T. Myers (Rupert Evans). They’re all human in a very tangible sense, and we cling to them in the midst of this dire, supernatural whirlwind.
The first sequence shown to me was Myers arrival at the BPRD (Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense) headquarters, which begins with an amusing lead-in from Dr. Tom Manning’s (a sublimely flustered Jeffrey Tambor) appearance on a talk show where he’s been forced, once again, to debunk rumors of Hellboy’s existence after yet another, unapproved topside jaunt by the big red guy. Before Myers descends into the freakish universe of the BPRD, he’s just like the rest of the world, secure in his belief that Hellboy is little more than folklore kin to Bigfoot and the Yeti. His mind is swiftly blown, then, by his introduction to Professor Broom (John Hurt), head of the Bureau, and keeper of freaks like the erudite psychic man-fish, Abe Sapien (body of Doug Jones, voiced by David Hyde Pierce). After a brief introduction to the rotten egg eating Sapien, Myers is taken to meet his charge, Hellboy, who has been “grounded” by Broom for his latest unauthorized excursion.
Myers is suitably shocked to discover that Hellboy actually exists, but his awe is deftly undercut by the humorous manner in which del Toro depicts big red’s messy, cat-cluttered (the guy’s got a thing for cats) living quarters. Hellboy is immediately suspicious of Myers, who certainly doesn’t help his cause by staring at Hellboy’s horns (which are filed-down in a poignantly futile attempt to better fit in with normal society); however, a pair of Baby Ruth bars helps smooth things over, and Hellboy begrudgingly accepts Myers as his chaperone.
Getting back to the horn issue, this is a subtly effective way into Hellboy’s torment at his inability to join Liz, for whom he’s long harbored a painful crush, in the world outside of the BPRD compound. Though she will forever be “cursed” with her pyrokinetic powers, Liz can, at the very least, suppress them to a degree that will allow her to mingle unbeknownst with the rest of society. It’s in the context of this doomed romance that Hellboy’s obsession with his horns becomes all the more heartbreaking, and it’s handled with such sweet-natured nuance by del Toro that it really stays with you. Brian Singer has flirted with this kind of agonized, outcast resonance in his X-MEN movies, but he’s often limited by the unwieldy size of his cast. Though del Toro is also juggling his share of characters, he’s far more adroit at nailing those grace notes that deepen the experience beyond that of just another pulpy thrill ride.
Enough with this obsessing on sissy character development. The most pertinent question is: does HELLBOY bring the pain? Um, yes. Big time. Like Ray Lewis on Super Bowl Sunday when his team isn’t playing. Hellboy’s first mission requires him to take down a hellbeast known as Sammael, a real nasty bugger who, before tangling with our hero, makes a raw meal out of four police officers. As in the comic book, Hellboy cracks wise with the creature, offering to talk through their differences in a peaceful manner before proceeding to wreck shop with his impossibly high-caliber pistol. Of course, Hellboy gets a little too cocky, and, after turning his back on the downed beast, Abe informs him that this is a demon of resurrection. “Aw, crap.”
The proceeding melee ends up stretching from a museum to a busy city street (it’s here we see that spectacular shot of Hellboy flipping that SUV with a well-placed fist to the hood – “Red means stop!”) to a subway track, where Hellboy ends up on the business end of a speeding train. It’s an exquisitely staged piece of sustained mayhem, and it’s just an appetizer for the destruction to come (later in the film, Hellboy and another demon will lay waste to an entire train station; sadly, I didn’t get to see this). Eventually, Hellboy’s carelessness will draw the ire of Manning, who will demand that the big guy be kept under wraps for good.
Meanwhile, Liz returns to the fold after an incendiary mishap at her hospital, which brightens Hellboy’s mood until Myers begins to hit it off with his lady love. This leads to a wonderfully comic sequence that finds an insanely jealous Hellboy stalking Liz and Myers throughout the city, hopping from building to building with his trademark inelegance, and inadvertently drawing the attention of a little boy, who serves him cookies and milk as if he’s a Satanic Santa Claus, while they eavesdrop on a couple of dangerous “spies”.
And what of the bad guys? Rasputin (Karel Roden) and, in particular, Kroenen are a deliciously nasty one-two punch of devil worshipping, Nazi villainy. They’re both nicely set-up in the pre-credit sequence on that Scottish Isle during WWII, where U.S. troops, acting on intelligence from a young Broom, storm their demon summoning ceremony, consigning Rasputin to his portal to the underworld. Rasputin will later be resurrected by his blond Nazi lover (named Ilsa, of course), while Kroenen will become a decaying corpse kept alive by an intricate, clock-like machine that serves as his metallic (and, as we see later, bulletproof) exoskeleton. Kroenen is also outfitted with a pair of retractable blades that spring out from either arm (for my eight fellow HUDSON HAWK fans out there, think Alfred). Though Rasputin ably provides the menace, it’s Kroenen who does the real damage. His climactic set-to with Hellboy was, chronologically, the last scene shown to me by del Toro, and it’s a real fucking bruiser of a duel.
Much of the fun of HELLBOY is watching our hero take some unbelievably devastating licks before dishing out his counterpunches tenfold, but what sets it apart is our affection for this Hell-sent outcast. This is all established at the opening, where Broom’s priestly compassion compels him to spare the damned creature, and raise him as his own son. It helps that the baby Hellboy is, despite his innate grotesqueness, a real cutie, but it’s the idea that this beast, despite its evil origin, can aspire to and attain a nobler purpose. It’s his touching father-son relationship with Broom, his unlikely friendship with Myers, and, most of all, his unrequited love for Liz Sherman that imbues him with the unshakable conviction that right must be done.
And if a building or two has to be leveled in the process, so be it.
HELLBOY will open, and own your existence, on April 2nd, 2004. Thanks to Guillermo del Toro for his generosity, and to Smilin’ Jack Ruby for bein’ a pal.
Faithfully submitted,
Mr. BeaksOk... Officially - if Guillermo had stopped the film where he did for Beaks, I'd punch him, cuz Beaks didn't see any of the cool stuff! I mean, that's just the warm up. Guess, El Futuro Flaco is trying to keep a lid on the parts where this thing ramps up to being bigger than anything this report has even hinted at. Poor Beaks, he's gonna have geek blue balls for months!
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This is the movie I am looking forward to more than any other this year.
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It's looks SO RETARDED. Be prepared for box office disappointment, fan boys. No sequel for you!
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ha cha cha!
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Jan 14, 2004 6:15:48 PM CST
I'm all about the SPOILERS and all, but have some common decency
by cranialleak
It's okay to talk about a scene (but you could put warnings up). However, it's another thing to take quotes from the scene. I mean, it really spoils the unexpected excitement of hearing it for the first time. Come on, people! Courtesy to your fellow man!
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which one is hellboy? colin firt or scarlett johansen?
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maybe i should read the comics
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Jan 14, 2004 6:43:49 PM CST
If David Hyde Pierce hadn't pulled a Kelsey Grammar and become a
by terry_1978
Now whenever I see Sapien I'm gonna think about the stick from a bug's life, sideshow cecil, Drix from osmosis jones, and lord knows who else.
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Hank Kingsley's in this? Fantastic! I'm in.
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I have no opinion of this film but anyone who references Hudson Hawk in a good way scares me.
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How long is that hideous Butterly Effect add going to run on your site? It is distracting and ugly. It gives me a headache to look at. Not only is it painful to look at, but it makes me think of that Ashton Kucher jerk wad, and I try real hard not to. Harry, How much are you making off that add? Is it enough to make it worth torturing your devoted readers?
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Jan 14, 2004 7:27:38 PM CST
Selma Blair could play any romantic love interest she can, but..
by robofag
I'll never forget that hot lesbian sex scene she had with Naomi Watts in Mulholland Drive!!! And everytime I'll see a scene with her in that flick, I'll rather think of her getting it on naked with Mrs. Watts in bed than the nice intimacy there is between Hellboy and Liz Sherman from the comic book... Should'nt actors and actresses should be consequent with the roles they play? I mean it's like woould you have love LOTR that much if Viggo would have starred in numerous gay sex scenes in past movies??? UGHHH!!! ***Now Robofag has to go take a walk and rethink his attraction towards other bots that also love to have Firewire connectors plugged up their asses!:))***
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Noticed many sites said he had stomache surgery, was wondering if it was stomache stapling or some other weight control surgery? Just curious.
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Ok, getting excited now!. I've always liked Hellboy but you have to be wary with film versions! But I feel my natural sceptisism slipping away with every image, report and trailer...
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When I was a kid collecting comics in the mid-late eighties, it was pretty well-known that any comic drawn my Mignola was going to suck. I dont know what happened to him, but his art ruined every comic it was in. I still see that he draws everything dark and full of shadows to cover up his lack of talent.
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OK what's the Mad Max thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????
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... the woman in Mulholland Dr. you must be thinking of is Laura Elena Harring - not Selma Blair. But that's OK. But you are right that that scene (with Naomi Watts) was incredible. I think Laura Harring is about the most gorgeous (and talented) actress working today. ________ Anyway, just to be on-topic, I don't understand what people see in this stuff. May just be me though. Though I do think Ron Perlman is good.
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If you think Mignola sucks then you're still a kid.
Yeah Mignola's work sucks - that's why he's worshiped by just about every graphic artist the world over. Maybe you punks need to go jerk off to some old copies of X-Force. Rob drew them characters ANGRY TO TEH EXTRAME!!! -
Hey, I was just offering my opinion. Whether or not he is worshipped by geeks doesnt effect it at all. I hated his work in the 80's. I havent bought a comic in about 10 years and have never read a Hellboy comic. Oh, and Lefield cant draw feet and everyone on his covers was always screaming......
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Jan 14, 2004 8:35:56 PM CST
anyone else get the feeling Harry already has Hellboy review wri
by skenzin
nuff said, but Im still gonna see it. cant be any worse than League Of Gents.
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Oh, sorry. I didn't see his work much in the eighties, but I'm willing to beleive it wasn't too hot. I have the issue of X-Force he subed in and it was prett mediocre. But his art evolves leaps and bounds even over the course of his Hellboy work and I think I can say without reservation is amazing, so maybe you should check it out.
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Jan 14, 2004 8:39:16 PM CST
Hate to break it to you Citizen Kock but that's a Cleveland Stea
by elgordo
Anyway. Lets showe some explosives up Mad Max's ass and BRING ON FUCKING HELLBOY!!!! Wooooh!
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Is it just me or does Hellboy look fat and awkward in the movie? Perlman looks like he can barely move in that makeup let alone pull off a performance with the subtlety Beaks is describing. I love the Hellboy character and the comic book's incredible but the more I see of this movie the dumber it looks.
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j0 teh r0x0rz!!!!111!!1!
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Been out of the comic world for quite some time, so it is quite possible that I dont know what the hell I am talking about as far as him currently sucking. his art has definitely improved from how I remember it. Much cleaner. Still dont see anyone's feet though....the lower half of everyone's body was always covered by a shadow. Anyway....looks interesting enough for me to pick up one of the graphic novels and have a look.
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Mignola did the graphic novel adaptation of Coppola's Dracula. He also did a rather good series on the Lankmar series.
Still what news is their on Mad Max? - I thought the film was dead!?!?!? -
Jan 14, 2004 9:10:57 PM CST
Selma Blair not in Mulholland Drive? Holy crap! So let's copy/pa
by robofag
But Robert Forster was still cool as the cyborg Hollywood producer who breaks all hell loose and dies, at the end, after slaughtering everybody else in a bloodbath. I really loved that line he wispered before dying: "Dr. Rosencroft, I swear on your baby....(fade out)".
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Jan 14, 2004 9:17:27 PM CST
To ROBOFAG: Selma Blair's big les scene was with Sarah Michelle
by frankdrebin
There's absolutely no romantic connections between any of the characters in the comic. Sounds like some studio suit had "notes". And Hellboy like cats? I hope in the ALF sense.
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The film ruled, you morons. It was a damn parody. And seen as that ... it was hilarious. I'd love to see Bruce doing something like that again instead of that pile o' crap that "Tears of the sun" was and ... pretty much ALL films he did after Sixth Sense... bah!
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Jan 14, 2004 9:47:21 PM CST
Jesus christ... what the hell is a Hellboy? What's next a movie
by russman
Never heard of this comic book and I bet 95% of the American Population hasn't either. If the studio was smart they would've made some deals to publish some of the comics online so that those of us not in the know would have an idea about what this is all about. Cuz as a person who doesn't know these characters, this movie looks like shit - and I don't care if God was directing it, it hasn't sold me. And I'm damn sure the slaves doing the surveys at NRG are probably getting the same reaction from the people they call and ask about this.
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Rob Liefeld will never die. Only God can judge him. Don't you see? He's STILL AROUND. He just came out with a NEW Youngblood comic (a property that was clinically dead by the mid-90's) written by MARK MILLAR - one of the hottest writers in comics right now. Not to mention Rob's previous collaborations with ALAN f'in MOORE. I just don't understand it. He draws all his facial expressions like his characters are taking a shit! Oh well. Maybe that's his secret. But, ON TOPIC, I'm definitely there for Hellboy. Anyone who doubts Del Toro can wait in line for Jersey Girl, I guess.
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HELLBOY sounds like straight to video fare. HUDSON HAWK was pretty entertaining throughout, but regardless of the understanding that it is a sendup, it still was a Bruce Willis vanity production. And there is nothing so embarrassing as the sequence with the paralzyed Willis and Danny what's-his-name. The film could have used some expeditious editing.
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I am so psyched for this movie. I cannot wait for it to come out!
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My real concern, regardless as to how trivial it is, is whether Mr. Del Toro shows who and how Hellboy got his Massive hand cannon and if they explain the blessed Charms and Rosary Hellboy carries with him.
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Some people are too quick to throw stones at shit they don't know about or don't understand. The HELLBOY trailer was bad ass and this movie WILL BE bad ass!
Oh,and MAD MAX died out along with 80's fashion,let go it's over! Besides what would it be called "OUT OF GAS AGAIN"? Or how about"NO MORE PETROL"? "THE SYPHON WARS" comes to mind.... -
that movie fucking ruled! that butler was fucking hilarious.
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Jan 14, 2004 11:37:19 PM CST
All I wanna know is... will Harry write another NC-17 review for
by kampbell-kid
Because cummon that BLADE 2 review was such a guilty pleasure to read and so foul. A quote... "BLADE 2 is the tongue, mouth, fingers and lips of a lover. The Audience is the clit." or this HELLBOY hype "Having read Guillermo
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Jan 14, 2004 11:56:17 PM CST
Harry's already composed the HELLBOY review sight unseen. The ve
by commando cody
I'm sure since this will be a Del Toro flick -- whom Harry can't ever seem to spooge enough over -- I'm sure we'll all be treated to another pussy-licking sweet caliber review. Perhaps HELLBOY will be as tight a movie in its construction as the fit of a good anal experience with the hottest porn star you can think of bent over and spreading her ass cheeks wide...or as warm and flowing as a hot succulent mouth swallowing your dick, gushing in an explosive climax at the end that leaves you weak in the knees. See? These amazingly insightful cinematic Del Toro reviews are a piece of cake to write...
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Actually, cugal, my first comics were X-Force comics, so Liefeld was the status quo as far as I was concerned. It was with the sub issue that Mignola did that I realized what comic art could be. Knowing nothing about comic art (at the time) i recognized that Mignola was something special. Interesting how two people can look at the same thing and see two different things.
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Can't wait to see it. My wife is a psycho Hellboy fan and she says that everything that she has seen is very much true-to-form and just ripped from the pages of the comics. Del Toro clraely has a love for the comics as evidenced by me at a convention here in Los Angeles. This movie will not suck! I'm willing to stake my entire X-Men collection on it!
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Heres a comment from a non-comic reader: Mingola's art is really bad. It is terrible. Same with that Alan moore guy, its a comic dude, you have to be able to draw. Sorry, but they are just bad. The best art is those super real looking flying x-men or x-team or gen-xsuperforce or something where theyre all in crazy body positions and the artists are able to perfectly capture the movement. that takes talent. scribbling a shitload of black on everything is boring as my asshair. and before you chime in with some "picasso didnt draw realistically" i'll say again: it looks SHIT.
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You can find some online Hellboy comics at:
http://www.darkhorse.com/zones/hellboy/downloads.php
and
http://www.hellboy.com/hbcomicsonline.html -
Does anybody know what rating Hellboy will be? Beaks talks about how brutal the fight scenes are, but are we talking destruction of property followed by shots of the combatants safely walking away (ALA The Hulk), or are we talking real disembowelling, blood gushing, monster eviscerating carnage? These things are important, dammit !!
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Jan 15, 2004 3:07:53 AM CST
As a guy who has not bought a comic in over a decade, would I be
by declan_swartz
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Jan 15, 2004 3:21:38 AM CST
Not All Comics should be adapted for the Big Screen, And Hellboy
by the founder
While I do plan to see the movie, and It looks like it'll be entertaining, but i don't think it'll be a big hit. I think the studio will be extremly lucky if they break even with this puppy. Hellboy is to obscure to succedd without introduction to the mainstream, maybe as a tv series it could perform well, but coming in as a movie, i don't think so. The only possiable way i see this movie making a ton of money is that people compare it to Men in Black, because it does have that feel and look of MIB. I just don't know if this was a wise choice to make into a feature film, because flops will hurt future comic to film properties.
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You're a dumbass. Alan Moore doesn't draw comics (although he's a great artist in his own right). He's a writer, and one of the best.
Mignola's art has evolved in leaps and bounds. I wasn't totally bowled over by his pre-Hellboy work, but once he got to do a book that he loved, the art matured dramatically.
Everyone run out and pick up "Panel Discussions", a textbook about graphic design in comic books. Mignola has a big section in there, as do many other great artists like Mark Shultz, Dave Mazzuchelli, Will Eisner, Scott Hampton, and more. It rules! -
I've been a fan since the first HB comic came out, read 'em all, met Mike, bought the t-shirts (and still buy Weird Tales, though my patience is wearing thin) but I gotta say... I am also of the opinion that this is one comic book that should've been left as just that. After seeing the trailer and the SDCC footage I still have faith on this project (in spite of David Hyde Pierce as Abe's voice - Inhuman creature hidden in shadows... Abe approaches... "Maris?" Awk! Why is he psychic in the movie again?) but for me the most important question is - does Ron Perlman's performance come through from under all that rubber/latex/whatever? As far as I've seen one can barely see his lips moving when HB is talking. Plus, the horns look like styrofoam and the right hand of DOOM looks harmless! Sure, Abe looks great but then he sounds like *David Hyde Pierce*! I am also wondering WTF is up with this whole HB/Liz thing going on. I thought Liz was more of an Abe gal? Anyway, since Chris Golden pulled it off w/ Anastasia I'll shut up about it, for now. This said, I'll be there first in line when the time comes.
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comics are boring. i prefer Travel Spirograph or furious masturbation
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Jan 15, 2004 11:08:20 PM CST
Alan Moore was penciler on Uncanny X-Men for close to three year
by billemic
Hah, Alan Moore is a bad "artist". That was a good laugh. I thought everyone had heard of Watchmen? Enough to know that Alan Moore is a writer. He's probably been making big money considering that a bunch of his properties have been turned into films as of late. Also, Jae Lee is a fantastic artist. Just thought I'd throw that out there, since someone brought him up. But Jae Lee can take a character that's 30+ years old and draw them like they're a fresh new character. I loved all the Sentry stuff he did, just to see his take on so many classic characters. As well as the "4" comic he did with Grant Morrison - one of the best FF stories in recent years. And Rob Liefeld is still pompous. He still sucks. But he continues to survive, somehow.
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Jan 15, 2004 11:35:41 PM CST
Mignola sucks, del Toro sucks, and I'm pretty sure Hellboy will.
by gere's assgerbil
SUCK!
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Alright.....why on earth must movies use one person for the body of a character and another for the voice?! (referring to Abe Sapien=Doug Jones as body and David Hyde-Pierce as voice) I just don't get it...is there something wrong with this Doug guys voice? It just annoys the hell out of me...*shrugs*
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