My review for Men In Black. Now pay attention to the pre-review stuff this time. It may
of affected my review.

Woke up today after an exhaustive night of typing, htmling and watching my brand new
toy, the readers forum. I was a bit bleary eyed through out the day, not much interesting
going on. No great interviews or newspapers calling. Just a regular day. By waking up
late I didn't have time to eat before getting in line for Men In Black.

One of the Line-People (Ron you evil dude you) had printed out my review of FACE/OFF
and was passing it around the line. At least 40 people read it. First off I have to say, "I
had no tickets to this screening of MEN IN BLACK" Not one. That wasn't going to stop
me though. I had to see it, so I could review it for all of you. Another confession, the
trailers never lit my imagination either. In fact I have had this film on video for over 3
months now. And it hadn't particularly thrilled me there. However that print had about
30% of the effects, no Danny Elfman score, and was not the final cut. So to say I was
familiar with this film is to seriously understate the reality of the situation.

I was looking forward to the film though, if for no other reason that FACE/OFF had lit a
fire under my rather hammy buttocks, and I was in a movie mood. The line moved into
the theater a full hour before the film. I didn't have a ticket, so I clung to a friend who did.
However the other three guys didn't have any valid way to get in, but did use the jedi mind
trick on the ticket dude. (you don't need to see my identification... Move along) We all
got in. Easy as can be.

In the hour before the film, we the group surrounding me, mainly talked about what a
great movie FACE/OFF was. The whole time those nasty and horribly annoying, "CLAP
IF YOU HAVE BEATEN YOUR MOTHER'S SKULL IN WITH A ROLLING PEN"
slides were playing. Apparently a lot of people have been stung by jellyfish. I hate these
slides.

Then the newspaper and radio DJ's did there thing. Throwing out t-shirts and talking
about cows the expunge voluminous amounts of moolah for their listeners. Argh.
Lulabelle must die!!!

There was only one trailer before MEN IN BLACK.

No it wasn't GODZILLA, it was the new AIR FORCE ONE trailer, which is all rosy, but I
wanted to see Godzilla trailer. (yes I am pouting)

Then the film began.

The movie has been getting fairly high praise around the world, but it just didn't work for
me. Was it the pangs of hunger, the fact I was tired, seeing a great movie the night
before? I don't know. However, a really good movie makes you forget everything else on
your mind. Whether it be the need to go to the restroom, to the desire to gulp down 2
triple cheese , side order of fries. This movie just didn't transport me anywhere. It felt flat
to me.

Don't get me wrong this isn't a BAD movie, it just isn't a GREAT one either. It's what I
call an "ok" movie. Will Smith & Tommy Lee Jones feel vaguely like Bill Murray and
Harold Ramis in Ghostbusters. However, there is no real supporting cast. Plus Murray
and Ramis did it better in my opinion.

The film plays out like a series of gags, with no flow. Remember the THIN MAN movies.
There were series of gags, but they floooooooooowed. The effects? Well in my opinion
(and I do want you to pay attention to that, you may feel differently) there is not one
single effect that makes me go "HOLY SH*T!!" followed by my jaw hitting the ground. I
read somewhere that someone thought this was the Ghostbusters as directed by the Coen
brothers. That's a pretty good evaluation. However, it's not nearly as witty as either of
those films are. It's like the Michael Bolton singing "Sittin on the Dock of the Bay". He
may be hitting the same notes purer than Otis Redding, but damn it I'll take Otis anyday of
the week. This is a slick glossy compact package of a film. I don't like it. It just doesn't
have that 'magic' like GHOSTBUSTERS had. What was that magic?

Well for one I don't feel Danny Elfman's score helps the film at all. (By the way next to
John Williams, Danny is my favorite contemporary composer) The effects are not 'awe-
inspiring'. You remember when that magic stuff began emanating from Sigourney's
apartment in Ghostbusters, remember when Robert Patrick walked through the bars in T2,
remember the Russian Water Tentacle? They are not here. Nothing that makes your tear
ducts fill, nothing to shorten your breath, it just doesn't do it.

What does work?

Well Vincent D'Onofrio for one. His part is worth seeing this movie for. He's so bizarre
that I liked him. He is why I'll get the tape when it is on sale as a previously viewed copy
at Blockbuster.

Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones have a very definate chemistry, but their relationship
doesn't go anywhere. There is no bon fire of energy between them. There is a spark, but
the way the film climaxes extinguishes that spark.

The creatures? Well, they just don't work for me. Why? I think it's because they are
mostly used as gags. They needed a strong character in that bunch, and there wasn't.
Nice designs, but they just don't do anything. Some people felt they were flawlessly
rendered. Well I felt that Edgar and the marble hand (you'll know it when you see it) were
both very unspectacular.

I can say this though. Just about everyone I saw after the film enjoyed it quite a bit. I
talked with my father about the film (we see all the films together) and he agreed that
while it is an 'ok' film, the magic that would allow it to be a GREAT film wasn't there. I
wanted a film as cool and electric as GHOSTBUSTERS, and wound up with a
GHOSTBUSTERS II.

Feel free to post your own reviews over on the Readers Forum, I'm absolutely positive
that most of you will probably disagree. However, GO SEE FACE/OFF. It's the one that
works at every level, for everybody I know. It is THE movie this summer thus far.
Dammit, I really wanted MEN IN BLACK to be a Hallmark of the season. Que sera sera,
I guess. This is what I call a mixed review. There were some things I liked and disliked. A watchable movie, a pleasant way to spend 90 minutes in air conditioner, but not Great entertainment in my opinion.

In all liklihood I'll be seeing Hercules tomorrow, so I'll review it when I can!!!

Go see FACE/OFF, if you have the extra cash see MEN IN BLACK you'll most likely
enjoy it. I guess I just wanted something more... cool.