Hey folks, Harry here... MESSAGE FROM SPACE is not a new film. It is not being restored and brought to a theater near you as a rerelease. No, there isn't a great DVD of it being made for worldwide consumption anytime soon. In fact, the best way to see this film is at Quentin Tarantino's house, or at the Dobie Theater about 5 years ago one early morning. But since both of those is nigh impossible to get to do, finding a copy on EBAY is your most likely only chance to see this. I genuinely love MESSAGE FROM SPACE. While watching it, you can't help but think... Did George Lucas see this and take the whole Asteroid sequence from EMPIRE STRIKES BACK from it? Which would only be fair, as Fukasaku was liberally ripping off STAR WARS with this film to begin with... However, the Disney ripping off of it for TREASURE PLANET was just incredibly obvious. What follows is a review of wonder and discovery at the joys of MESSAGE FROM SPACE. The reviewer has some rather tasteless and insane things to say about the film and some of the cast, in particular, Vic Morrow... but you've been warned. I can not recommend the joys of this film enough... also seek out INVASION OF THE NEPTUNE MEN if you get a chance. It's also great Sonny Chiba crazy funky sci-fi fun! And hopefully, somebody somewhere will put that and MESSAGE FROM SPACE on DVD soon!
When you just can't help but shake your head, in a good way at a film, made laughably unskillfully by a talented director, there's only one thing you want to do... TELL OTHERS ABOUT THAT FILM AS QUICK AS HUMANELY FUCKING POSSIBLE.
I've known about Message From Space for quite some time. It's one of the early Star Wars rip-offs. It stars Sonny Chiba, and is directed by Kinji 'Just Change My Name To Include The Parathensis (Battle Royale) For All Time' Fukasaku. But I swear, halfway through, you will guarantee yourself it was made by the only two Japanese Kamikazee pilots to ever survive the raid on Perl Harbor, who got enough money and cocaine together and just dared each other each day as to who could direct the more fucked up movie.
What I didn't know about the film, is that it starred Rick Springfield (at least his lost twin) as a coked up looking and acting Luke Skywalker. This is on display early in a Smokey The Bandit type chase scene where Luke, and his Asian friend, are doing chicken runs with their jet planes through the desserts of, oh, let's call it Tattooney, and are being chased by the Asian version of Smokey. Now, Luke Springfield is laughing and laughing, and laughing and laughing and laughing hysterically all throughout the chase. And it's the kind of special effects chase they didn't even bother to try and cloak the wires the model planes were flying on. The kind of chase that you'd debate in your head if you could make it look more real doing it yourself with spare popsicile sticks and a free hour in the afternoon. Though even with the laughing, and maybe because of the laughing, the scene is horribly enjoyable.
Now, to get off the subject, which the film does plenty of time nonsensically over and over on it's own, there is something you should prepare yourself for, the dialogue. I KNOW, GASP! How could it be bad??? Well, I can't say for sure, because even though it was dubbed, I couldn't make out a single fucking thing. It was the first movie I've ever watched where the dubbing needed it's own subtitles. BUT IN A CHARMING WAY.
And that's what this film is. A charming early rip-off, you know just conceived hours after the filmmakers first saw Star Wars. The kind that's just filled with Japanese gittiness, only found in young kids after they learn a new curse word and want to use the shit out of it. This all makes for, in my opinion, the most insanely charming bad movie ever. And I haven't even gotten to the good part yet. Vic Morrow.
Yes, ol' Headless Morrow's in this one. And it looks like he's drunk throughout the whole thing. Or that some Yakuza member that helped fund this thing held a gun to his hip for the enitre shoot. One of my favorite scenes in paticular, is a Cantina scene, with Morrow, a shot glass of liquor, and a little gay robot, 1/6 scale the size of the bigger gay one from Lost In Space. In the scene Morrow is kicking back the shots of J.D., only to notice that at the bottom of his glass, is a magic plastic walnut. I shit you not. A MAGIC PLASTIC WALNUT, to which he responds, "I have been chosen". To which the little gay robot responds, "Wheeee!" - I actually think they may have even referred to it as the magic PLASTIC walnut, not even bothering to leave out it's obvious prop description, though I can't be sure, since there were no subtitles for the dubbing.
Now, a hater of bad cinema, would say that the karma from Vic Morrow's appearance in this turd carried over to him getting decapitated while filming Twilight Zone: The Movie. I disagree, because all the pain that a spinning whirly bird blade could inflict, would not even register as pain, if you saw the look of utter disgust and contempt on Morrow's face throughout this film. Even the scenes where he's hickup drunk.
Also, just to round out the Wizard of Oz like cast, to give you a better view of what we're dealing with here, there's a retarded pimp, a non retarded pimp, a princess, Sonny Chiba with a sword, and oh yeah, VIC MORROW'S UTTER AND COMPLETE CONTEMPT.
SPOLIER***
Yeah, don't read on unless you think you could possibly be surprised after anything else I could say about this movie. I wanna skip to the last battle though. The one between Sonny Chiba, who plays Hans, I kid you not, going up against some guy in.... black. Anywhofuck, the fight, with Chiba and blackey isn't half bad, in fact, if you've seen most Fukasaku movies with Chiba, especially in my opinion Legend Of The Eight Samurai, you'll know he and Fukasaku work well together. The shot selection, framing, energy, all excellent. This one, while definetly not better than the rest, features Sonny stabbing the man in black right through the face, then throwing him out a window, shaped much like the one Luke falls out of in Empire Strikes Back during the Darth fight. Could this have been an inspiration? Did Lucas pillage another great Japanese filmmaker for insiration for his space opera?...... Riiiiight.
One of the best things I found out about this movie, after watching it, was the merchandising tie-ins. Films like this, are few and far between to have action figures, or even models of their space crafts, but no, not Message In Space. I'm assuming the dailies on this, and strong Yakuza influence/intimidation at the studios, convinced them that in fact little Kirosho's Christmas wouldn't be complete without a coked up Rick Skywalker action figure flying his Decade Hawk on chicken runs from an eye patched Japanese Smokey. I even found out that some of these things wound up in arcades around Maryland, during the mid 1990's, in the bargin bins for the retarded kids who could only win one ticket from Skeetball to pick something with. This was their prize.
If you are ever Chiba craved enough to pick a bootleg of this up from eBay, be sure to watch the whole thing all the way through, and without any drugs. Not that drugs would ruin it, but a film this powerful, mixed with even the tiniest thread of pot, or Asprin, could easily make you jump out the window.... Just like Luke Springfield.
Harry, if you read this and decide to us it, call me Chris... because that's my name. Also, even if you don't and these 15 minutes of mine writing this were wasted, I just wanted to say thank you, even if I don't agree with 50% of your reviews, thank you for helping to introduce me to some films I really love.
