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Will Will Ferrell Ever Get To Throw An AUGUST BLOW-OUT'! Our Script Review Will Make You Hope So!!

Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...

I love USED CARS. I love WILL FERRELL. Combine the two, and I will positively burst from glee.

Chevy Chase, Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, Adam Sandler... WILL FERRELL. The torch has been passed. He’s the next great Hollywood comedic icon. Hell, Will Ferrell is the next Michael Jordan.

It bugs the crap out of me when people say stuff like that. No one is sure of anything yet. You can predict it all you want but no one can be absolutely certain about future... unless, of course, you’ve read a screenplay called AUGUST BLOW OUT. Will Ferrell is on the verge of being on the verge of absolute greatness. And after ANCHORMAN you can knock off the first verge. Icon-status is within Ferrell’s grasp if he so desires. His road is already paved should he choose to walk it... his destiny written in the script known as August Blow Out… his Oz, his balancing of the Force, his Zihuatanejo, Mexico, his official Red Rider carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and "this thing" that tells time. August Blow Out is the script that, if done right (there’s those dreaded three words) will place Will Ferrell in a category all his own… the category of One of the Funniest Damn Things in the History of Man, Ever. Because that’s what August Blow Out has the potential of being. We have the foresight now. Something must be done. It’s up to us to ensure that this fate is met. And so it is here that I begin...

August Blow Out is a screenplay written by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay (former head writer at "Saturday Night Live"), the same writing duo behind the upcoming Anchorman this July (which is also McKay’s directorial debut). The date of the draft I read is March 3, 2000 (revised), which means it was written well before Anchorman... which is also what scares me. Now, I understand the workings of Hollywood and that just because one project was written before the other, with the later one being made first, it doesn’t necessarily mean we’ll never see the former. For whatever insane reason August Blow Out wasn’t made first, be it money, some kind of stupid rights issue, or hopefully just Ferrell and McKay simply pleasure delaying and saving it for later - whatever the reason, I hope it’s a good one. Because if this movie was passed on for such ridiculousness as not meeting a certain market or demographic or it’s too this or too that, well then that, my friend, is a true American tragedy (in the world of movies, of course). This review is my plea for the powers that be to get this sucker made. It would be more than worth it. Do whatever it takes. Bring it.

August Blow Out refers to the time of the year when car prices are slashed to make way for next year’s models. The time of year that car salesmen everywhere seem to relish. The time of the year when sales records are set... and some are broken. JEFF TANNER is one of those salesmen, THE car salesman to end all car salesmen, and the record is his. August Blow Out is what he his lives for. He is the king. Picture Tanner as the aviator-wearing, mustache-growing, Burt Reynolds gum-chomping, hard-nosed type of no nonsense tough guy. Now picture Will Ferrell playing him and you understand why he was born to play this character. He has an obsession with the movie Top Gun (which is referenced to quite often throughout the script, from Tanner’s quoting it to the cars being pushed into position on the lot like fighter planes), every CD in his collection is Boston’s first album, and his continuous reading of books such as Anthony Robbins’ The Road to Excellence shows exactly what kind of mind-set this guy has and how seriously he takes his job. But no one can describe Tanner better than Tanner himself as he addresses the audience on the first page of the script, standing on the hood of his car, stuck in bumper-to bumper traffic in Southern California as he peers out at the amount of traffic he has left to endure on his way to work...

JEFF

Hi, I’m Jeff Tanner and I sell cars. The only thing I love more than a finely crafted American automobile is the hot rush of adrenaline I get from selling one... Meet my car: the Ford Explorer. It’s rugged, sexy and American... like me... And just like this bad boy, Jeff Tanner is fully tricked out with all the features... I come with a confident handshake, an outstanding ass, a saddle in my bedroom, and except for some screw up by JC Penny’s, a near spotless credit report. And guess what? That’s all standard... For Jeff Tanner life is all about three things; speed, steel and gas. You think cheetahs are fast? Fuck cheetahs. My speed is American made. I’ll be honest. I’m hard right now.

And with that he gets back in his car and peels off onto the shoulder of the freeway toward PARADISE FORD, one of the top ten selling car dealerships in the country... his kingdom, where the anticipation is at an all time high. It’s the day before August Blow Out.

It’s here that we meet the other salesmen who are featured quite prominently throughout the script and pretty much worship the ground Tanner walks on. As each of the salesman are introduced, they are presented as a freeze frame photo like a baseball card, complete with statistics on the side showing weight, height, number of years selling cars, quota percentages, etc. There’s...

- GIL MCMICHAEL, the slightly balding, quietly authoritative sales manager...

- RICKY WILSON, the cool looking African American who is never without his signature greeting, a double karate chop ending in a “gotcha” point...

- BRAD STACEY, well dressed and always smoking cheap cigarettes...

- TATE GLEEMAN, the 61-year old weed-smoking, hippie-esque dirty old man...

- LARRY VINCENT, the cat-obsessed, cat-loving mamma’s boy type...

- CRAIG DONAHUE, the new guy who just can’t seem to do anything right...

- and A.J. PHILLIPS, the militant owner of the dealership who is, well...

A.J. PHILLIPS

Eighty... two. I am eighty-two years old! I was born in 1918! Every morning when I wake up I flex and then grunt “Don’t age!!!!” It’s about will and determination. My wife has posed for hustler. I promise you she is better than anything any of you have ever had. Our bedroom is wallpapered with pictures from the Kama Sutra and we make each other smile nightly. My wife and I adopted three twenty year old Korean sons. Why? Because we didn’t want to waste time raising them! They were raised by street gangs in the ghettos of Seoul. And someday they will fight each other to determine who will run this dealership when I am gone.

This guy is priceless. Heck, all these characters have the chance of being truly unforgettable. Their interactions with each other couldn’t be any better. From Tate always bugging the new guy for weed money or Larry and his constant calling his cats at home and leaving messages for them, Ferrell and McKay have done a superb job creating hilarious, differing personalities that mesh with each other perfectly. Each character has his own little quirks but they’re all united in their passion for selling cars... and their hatred of Saturns as well. And to me, that is funny. Very funny. And I don’t know why. That’s what makes Ferrell’s humor and this script so great. They make fun of those little things in life that you can’t explain why they’re funny, they just are. It’s the kind of funny you relate to because you didn’t think anyone else knew about it or paid any attention to it. But Will Ferrell does. He knows.

Once August Blow Out kicks off, we really see why Tanner is a living legend. He’s relentless. Making a sale any way he can, he tricks, forces, and inspires the customers into buying new cars. We are even treated to a fantasy sequence commercial reality that involves Tanner taking a couple by the hand and asking them to close their eyes and imagine what he describes... which I’ll say involves Tanner with a shaggy beard, a German shepherd, and some bear wrestling, among other things, that would put any Jeep or Chevy commercial to shame. And once the fantasy sequence ends we are shown what may be one of the funniest sight gags I can think of in a comedy to date. Just, yeah.

All goes well on the first day of sales, so to celebrate the gang heads to none other than... ANAHEIM; We see a glory montage of Anaheim. The city is treated like it’s New York or Paris: The convention center, a Days Inn, a strip mall, a shuttle bus, Angels’ stadium “Former Home of the Rams,” a La Quinta Inn... a Denny’s, a Holiday Inn, another Denny’s, a Blockbuster Video... You get the picture. This all, of course, is shown while Tanner is singing an overly dramatic sincere Neil Diamond-type original song about wanting to make love to the city. It’s great.

As for the rest of thee plot, without giving too much away, August Blow Out is essentially the story of Tanner trying to break his previous record of cars sold during the famed month. However, as fate would have it, Tanner hits a selling slump that pretty much triggers an emotional train wreck, affecting just about every aspect of his life, leaving him completely dejected. And if that wasn’t enough, RANDY EVANMEYER, the Alec Baldwin-type mercenary --

CRAIG

What’s a mercenary?

JEFF

It’s a professional car salesman with no allegiance to any dealership. Some call them freelancers. I call them filthy rats.

-- is brought in to the dealership to make up for the lacking quota caused by Tanner’s slump. This story wouldn’t be anything without a Randy. He’s the perfect ying to Tanner’s yang (I can’t believe I just said that). He’s the antagonist that breaks Tanner down bit by bit as no one has done before. He’s unstoppable.

TATE

Trust me... I’ve heard of this guy. He used to operate out of Santa Monica. Legend has it, he sold O.J. The White Bronco.

RON

Wow.

RICKY

That’s heavy shit.

Randy threatens to take the record from Tanner, and if that’s not enough, Tanner also has issues with his ex-wife and is trying desperately to connect with his 9-year old son, MATT, while at the same time attempting to reconcile with his own overbearing, Bible-selling DAD. So it’s up to Jeff to get his life back on track and reclaim his crown.

In the same way that Jaws made people scared to go in the water and Office Space made daily office tasks seem that much more tedious, August Blow Out gives car dealerships this newly found quasi bizarre/comical aura about them (if that makes any sense). A few days after I finished reading the script I was running errands with a friend of mine who had to go by a local car dealership for whatever reason and I swear to you it was just surreal. I don’t know what it was but it all just felt different: the way the salesman were dressed, the huge balloon-man football player thing on the roof, the goofy skinny guy with the cigarette and trucker hat hosing down a nearby car. I kept expecting Ferrell and Alec Baldwin (who HAS TO play Randy) to start harassing me any second. The atmosphere of Paradise Ford is so right on the money. The streamers, each salesman’s cubicle, the car brochers, the coffee pot, the hosing down of cars, the huge inflatable gorilla that slightly deflates every time Tanner reaches a new low in his slump… it’s all there. And it’s all made funny. They even have “Free bench press for kids under twelve!” day as a sales promotion. Yes I know, funny.

I wish I could go on and on. There is so much more this script has to offer, so many more perfectly-crafted funny-as-hell scenes. I haven’t even scratched the surface. But this is where I must leave it. I’m simply just trying to get this script known, to make people aware of its greatness, its potential. And while it does have its flaws (like sagging somewhat with the ending), when I finished reading August Blow Out, after I turned the last page, it was hands down the funniest thing I had ever read. Not the funniest script, but the single funniest thing I had ever read. There have been scripts where I’ve laughed out loud while reading them, but this was different. I was by myself, actually laughing out loud in that extremely hard kind of way, like the time in high school when my friends and I would throw tennis balls at cars at night from the Country Club golf course dressed in camo, running from the cops when Micah got stuck on the fence hanging by his pants trying to jump form the top of the port-a-potty. We were idiots then, but that’s neither here nor there. Fact is, this script must get made. Paramount, if you still own the rights to it, give us a sign. Show us that there is still hope out there. Make this movie. Do what must be done. Allow Jeff Tanner to defend his record. And allow Will Ferrell to cross that second verge into absolute iconic greatness. And most importantly... remember that cars are faster than humans.

All the best,

- THAT GUY

Thanks, man. Excellent write-up.

"Moriarty" out.





Readers Talkback
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  • Dec. 11, 2003, 6:34 a.m. CST

    Hopefully

    by BirdMnJr

    FIRST? Oh, and this looks pretty funny. I've got a feeling we'll be seeing Ferrell for a very long time...

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 6:35 a.m. CST

    Merry Christmas, Kids.

    by stlfilmwire

    Don't fuck any chickens.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 7:27 a.m. CST

    Chavy Chase

    by Bcphil

    When was Chevy Chase a God of Comedy?

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 7:32 a.m. CST

    There are some talkbacks..

    by devanjedi

    There are some talkbacks where people cry 'plant' before 'first'! They are growing in numbers...

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 7:51 a.m. CST

    Chevy Chase, God of Comedy Past

    by JAGUART

    SNL original cast member, Caddyshack, Foul Play, Fletch, Three Amigos and ...the Vacation Series. For about ten years from 75-85 he was quite a lively dancer.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 8:02 a.m. CST

    Sounds funny to me

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    Will Ferrell is winning me over, and Anchorman sounds great too. Maybe the reason this movie hasn't been made is the licensing issues with the carf companies? I don't think of Ford as having a very good sense of humor (as opposed to Starbucks in Austin Powers 2).

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 8:57 a.m. CST

    I'd see it, it sounds great!

    by Cletus Van Damme

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 9:15 a.m. CST

    the cat loving guy

    by durhay

    should be played by Andy Richter's office-mate from Andy Richter Controls the Universe.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 9:32 a.m. CST

    You've gotta be kidding me...

    by DarqueGuy

    This is an unproduced screenplay that apparently hasn't been picked up by any studios and you're screaming "Plant!"? Plant for what? Somehow I don't think Will Ferrell or Adam McKay need to write reviews of their own screenplays (or get a friend to do so) to get some attention. Way to perpetuate the chatroom stereotype, Brainiac.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 9:44 a.m. CST

    I don't understand these big rich dicks. can't will farrel front

    by TheGinger Twit

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 10:19 a.m. CST

    Ropesnot and Stringwarts

    by Anita Hummer

    Chevy Chase only made 4 good movies; The Groove Tube, Caddyshack, Fletch, and the original Vacation. He was a valuable contributor to SNL but then everyone was ripped to the ties on cocaine and the 70's back then anyway. His legendary status comes almost entirely from his impersonations of Gerald Ford and his stint behind the desk of weekend update. I think he got into show business because he couldn't stand to get a real job. He was always kind of an improvisor who did his own schtick, ratcheted up his value doing a few good movies, took the money and ran. I would probably do the same thing. I could always tell my critics "Hey, I have 26 million bucks in the bank so FU." Will Ferrell is different. He has worked his ass off doing characters. I think he will be doing movies well after the point where he never needs to work again. Don't turn him inot some kind of Hollywood Icon, just let him make funny movies.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Chevy chase was a fucken moron

    by Rcamacho2278

    Na na na na na na, im not funny, Na na na na na na na Fuck chevy chase, that pretentious mother fucker.Even in the 80's that comedy fucken sucked. Will ferell is the shit, he was the only thing that made SNL worth watching. Did you see stupid fat fuck al sharpton on that shitty show? the tired ass mike jackson jokes? Ryan and Brian fellows? GIMME A FUCKEN BREAK that show is not worth watching,

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 11:48 a.m. CST

    Give Chevy a break

    by GreedoNeverShot

    I admit, it has been a while since Chevy was in an exceptional movie. However, Foul Play, Caddyshack, Vacation, Christmas Vacation, Fletch, Fletch Lives and three Amigos are all very funny. I'm sure I've missed a couple, but that's not a bad list. Give Chevy a break -- and let's not put too much pressure on Will. I don't want him to be the guy who puts a movie out every 6-9 months. People will get worn out on his humor, and he'll fall under the "flavor of the month" curse. But as a die-hard fan of "Used Cars," I will say this script sounds like it could be a winner.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 12:03 p.m. CST

    it sounds too similar to anchorman

    by MiltonWaddams

    anchorman, an akwardly self absorbed guy with a huge moustache does the news vs. a akwardly self absorbed guy with a huge moustache sells cars. i doubt this will ever get made, honestly.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 12:05 p.m. CST

    "every CD in his collection is Boston

    by Z-Man

    I'm sold.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 1:18 p.m. CST

    This script does like a winner

    by JAGUART

    Its like "Glengarry Glen Ross" meets "Used Cars"

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 2:16 p.m. CST

    ALRIGHT!

    by hank quinlan

    I saw the very first test screening of Anchorman last month. It KILLED! I know they will cut stuff but I wish they would keep it all in. If Ferrell has another script that's just a retread of Anchorman, I say...BRING IT ON! I would sit through that in a second. Will is great at the "Will Ferrell" character and he can do it again. Burgundy will be huge. And I am sure they will give him the money to make this. And I will give them the money to see it. And I hope Tim Meadows plays the black guy!

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 2:17 p.m. CST

    Spoiling? It's stealing.

    by Big Rock

    I write a screenplay. I spend countless hours trying to get the dialogue pitch perfect. It's a laborious process. Word after word like brick after brick. And what happens even before the screenplay goes into production? Moriarity gets his hands on it and starts stripmining it for quotes. Pauline Kael used to write whole reviews of comedies without quoting one joke. She thought that giving away punchlines was a repugnant practice done by writers who did it to prop up their mundane writing.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 2:46 p.m. CST

    I got an autograph from Chevy Chase

    by ScienceMan

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 2:51 p.m. CST

    read it too

    by vanish27

    i read it too. it's pretty funny, but the draft i read was pretty messy. lots of things setup that didn't really pay off.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 2:51 p.m. CST

    Hilarious

    by Donkeybells

    I read August Blowout about a year ago and it is by far the funniest screenplay I have ever read. Comparing it to Ron Burgandy is, to steal a line from the script, "like comparing Top Gun to Iron Eagle". There are just so many fucking hilarious parts. One possible criticism, though I consider it a good thing is that the voice throughout the script is undeniably Will Ferrell, you can hear him in your head while reading it. Also, where else can you hear the line "Ouch that hurts. Getting a hand job from a runaway at knife point that smarts..." Anyway, August Blowout had a couple false starts and was never going to get off of the ground so Ferrel canibalized some aspects and some lines for Ron Burgandy and took it to a different studio so it's no coincidence that the two have similar feels. August Blowout still will always have a special place though, its just that damn funny.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Herc

    by Cory849

    Moriarty or Harry - Can one of you go over to Herc's house and see if there's a bad smell...like maybe dead green handicapable guy...

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 3:16 p.m. CST

    every CD in his collection is Boston

    by RenoNevada2000

    Because as we all know, if you've heard one Boston song, you've heard them all.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 3:26 p.m. CST

    Can anyone point me to the script?

    by decypher_44

    I would LOVE to read this script. Can anyone help a brutha out?

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 4:19 p.m. CST

    animated counterparts

    by boohallsmalls

    will ferrell is the live action comedy answer to the likes of the simpsons, south park and the family guy. it may seem like dumb humor, but hey you didn't think of it, so you must be really dumb. irreverant comedy rules! Will ferrell rules. screw you guys, I'm going to raisins.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 4:54 p.m. CST

    this is a total plant

    by numberface

    What with the resounding flop that was Old School and Elf limping across the finish line behind everyone this season, the self described "shameless clown, overweight head-case" Ferrel is writing reviews for his own moronic scripts in a sad attempt to get some kind of media attention. It's fitting that he compares himself to Burt Reynolds. I'm just curious if he means the laughing-wheezing-homosexual-posing-as-a-good-ole- boy Reynolds we used to see in out-take clips from "Smokey and the Bandit" on Bloopers and Practical jokes, or the middle-aged lunatic affecting a cheap irish accent in one of the countless Universal Soldiers sequels Reynolds diegned to appear in after his middling "triumph" in Boogie Nights. Tell me, Will, which one are you? It's bad enough you've done less with your post SNL career than Reynolds has done since "Hooper". Now you're hyping scripts you probably haven't even typed up. This is so obviously a plant. Shame on you Ferrel. Shame. Shame.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 4:57 p.m. CST

    by the way, lay of off Chase

    by numberface

    When the Book of Comedy is committed to stone, one name will rise above the rest. Chevy Chase. Who can forget his touching comedic turn in Christmas Vacation, his expressive soulfulness in Memoirs of an Invisible Man, the sly wit of Fletch Lives, the scorching passion of his cameo turn in Hero? It took decades for Buster Keaton to get the recognition he deserved. It may take centuries before we all realize the pratfalling clown Chevy Chase, that we all laughed at, not with, was in fact, the greatest comedic mind of this or any generation. Need more proof? One film, dear reader. "Nothing But Trouble". Genius. Absolute Geniouis.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Get Off The Damned Shed!

    by Barron34

    Ferrell is a relief from a string of OK but mediocre comedy talents that we have seen in the last ten years. Finally we have a comic actor on the level with Belushi (totally different style) or Bill Murray (somewhat similar style). Ferrell is not neccessarily going to evolve into a talented film actor as Murray has (see him in the little gem by Sofia Coppola, Lost In Translation), but that's OK. In the meantime we can expect plenty of good yucks from the absurdist antics of Will Ferrell on screen. I've enjoyed his humor since his start on SNL, and I'm glad he's made the leap to the big screen. Hopefully success will not spoil him and "Hollywood-ize" him too much (paging Mister Carey, Mister Jim Carey). Hopefully he will stay grounded and humble and connected to what is funny and true, not what is corporate and saleable. Comedy is more important than box office, remember that! Also, I'm glad that someone else sees the humor in the polyester days-gone-by of the 1970's, as Ferrell and his co-writers obviously do with ANCHORMAN. Swaggering dudes with bad mustaches and bad pick-up lines are a sort of a funny archetype from the 70's that always made me laugh, but never seemed to be exploited by a major comedic actor in the right film vehicle. Ferrell seems to hit that nail on the head with AUGUST BLOWOUT and ANCHORMAN. I don't know why, but that 70's type of guy always seemed hysterical to me, and apparently it is funny to others, judging from some of the responses from Mori and other fans here on the boards. Anyway, I hope that ANCHORMAN succeeds and AUGUST BLOWOUT gets made and that Ferrell makes a lot of funny movies in the future. We could all use a good laugh now and then, and Ferrell seems on track to provide us with many laughs for years to come.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 5:08 p.m. CST

    thats some nice trolling numberface....

    by Jon L. Ander

    But will it sucker the masses? Only time will tell!

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 5:40 p.m. CST

    Make this fucking movie! I chip in a buck! I'll built some of th

    by Big Bad Clone

    No, I'm not being sarcastic. This sounds fucking fantastic. I'm a little pissed I'll have to wait for this to be made since all they have is the script. Like I said, I would volunteer to get this shit made ("Hollywood for Humanity").

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 6:18 p.m. CST

    'Fuck Cheetahs...' LOL for real...

    by SK909

    Wow. That killed me. Especially picturing him with the mustache and the sunglasses with that voiceover. The man is sick, I swear to God. PLEASE make this movie - ALSO - if anyone is sick to death of pop-ups, spying and internet tracking, and site re-directs, then GO TO DOWNLOAD.COM and get Ad-Aware. It's only a 1.61 MB free program and it found 300 pieces of shit sucking the life out of my internet experience.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 7:24 p.m. CST

    Chevy...

    by stlfilmwire

    Ummm.. fellas, Chevy was like one of the biggest stars of the 80s. Look at the numbers. Sure, he screwed it all up, but the fact is, he made an impact.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 7:47 p.m. CST

    give me a break with the Will Ferrell nonsense

    by beamish13

    the guy is a no-talent moron.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 7:48 p.m. CST

    I'll tell you who SNL's best castmember ever was. Ready?

    by beamish13

    Charles FUCKING Rocket, baby. best anchor, best male, best castmember.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 8:20 p.m. CST

    Adam Sandler's a comedic icon?

    by the draft

    So, the only requirements are talking like a baby and playing real shitty songs?

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 8:29 p.m. CST

    elf limping acroos the finish line...???WTF???

    by speed

    dude, the flick has made like 140million in the US alone! it was made for cheap. how can you limp across a finish line if you have run a good race??? did you expect it to take LOTR:s type cash? what delusional world are you living in mate. i:m enjoying ferrells comedy now, but i hope he pushes himself in the future otherwise it will get old fast. when i was back in australia a few months ago i caught some old sat night live on cable and saw his cheerleader stuff. i thought it was pretty funny.

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 8:35 p.m. CST

    across across across!!!

    by speed

  • Dec. 11, 2003, 8:53 p.m. CST

    Seems like they lifted material from this script

    by topher_r

    http://www.xposedfilm.com/lattes_and_limorides.pdf Written years earlier and deals about a guy with a Top GUn obsession and deals with Anthony Robbins

  • Dec. 12, 2003, 7:28 a.m. CST

    deal me in

    by diablo rising

    if you want comedy genius in car dealership then turn to Ted Danson in Mad In America. this is where any actor should turn to when looking for the right coupcons of comedy and method. the way he brings an urban mystery to his animal-aided commercials or makes being chased by an elephant while riding a bike an acting experience to beat De Niro in Raging Bull. he is the master of the universe when it comes to delivering subtlty and between-the-lines comedy. Ferrell has no chance!!

  • Dec. 12, 2003, 7:45 a.m. CST

    Sounds great, but I have to stop getting psyched up for these th

    by BillBrasky2620

    I am looking forward to "Anchorman" so much that it can't possibly meet my expectations. The script review was amazing, but I've already heard that some of the classic lines Moriarty quoted didn't end up in the movie (No "hand grenade-wielding baboons"?) The dialogue in this script sounds similarly funny, on the page. But I wonder how much of it will actually wind up in the finished product if it ever gets made. Sometimes a script goes through a lot of changes before it finally gets produced. I remember reading article after article at this site about how wonderful "Run Ronnie Run" was going to be, and then it came out (well, leaked out through a shitty avi copy), and it wasn't that great. That being said, the clips I've seen of "Anchorman" look great and I'm holding out hope that it will be the mind-shattering, on-your-ass- knocking, socks-blowing-off comedy masterpiece I expect it to be.

  • Dec. 12, 2003, 9:49 a.m. CST

    speed

    by numberface

    It was a funny. I suppose you thought my canonizing of Chevy (I suck balls nightly) Chase was serious too.

  • Dec. 12, 2003, 11:23 a.m. CST

    John Popper's Nutsack

    by Anita Hummer

    My sister got divorced a few years ago and people kept calling her and saying "oh, it could be worse" and her canned reply to that became "yeah, I could have my face buried under John Popper's Nutsack" That is what happened to Chevy Chases career. He did some good work, but ultimately decided he was in show business for the money and when he had enough he got out. The talk show was a disaster. Chevy himself tried to talk Fox out of it, telling them he wasn't that funny to begin with but they kept throwing money at him and he ended up embarrassing himself nightly on national television. Chevy was the kind of guy who could be funny for about 22 minutes a week. _________________________Will Farrell was about an inch from John Popper's Nutsack when he hit SNL and that Cheerleader sketch actually forced me to turn off SNL for more than 2 years. Most of that cast sucked so badly that I cringed. Molly Shannon, Chris Kattan and Cheri Oteri belong in a South Florida Diner Theater. It wasn't until I saw Will Farrell doing his "W" impersonation that I began to appreciate him. His ability to do characters combined with his manic energy are what make him funny. Give him good characters to play and he will kick ass.

  • Dec. 12, 2003, 7:49 p.m. CST

    14 year car sales man says...

    by zenith1226

    I know the funny shit that actually happens everyday, like the guy who comes to trade is car with title in hand and leaves with a new car, which he doesnt like and comes back to buy his old car back and leaves oweing 9500.00 to the bank for his title.

  • Dec. 12, 2003, 8:05 p.m. CST

    re: BillBrasky2620

    by vanish27

    BillBrasky2620: "Sometimes a script goes through a lot of changes before it finally gets produced." Really? Wow, tell me more of these secrets from Hollywood! Guys, this guy is a real Hollywood insider! Ass.

  • Dec. 12, 2003, 8:07 p.m. CST

    re: topher_r

    by vanish27

    Topher_r -- why would Will Ferrell lift stuff from a crappy script?

  • Dec. 12, 2003, 10:47 p.m. CST

    Will Farrell Sucks!

    by maniACK

    The only movie Will Farrell even had a single shred of funnyness in was his small part in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. The guy is an unfunny crap of a comedian in everything else he does, and this used car movie doesn't sound any better.

  • Dec. 13, 2003, 9:55 a.m. CST

    You think that's funny?

    by PassionPlayer

    Check out this: http://homepages.nyu.edu/~scs273/01.mov

  • Dec. 14, 2003, 6:32 a.m. CST

    Where can I download this script from? ANYONE KNOW?!? Its not on

    by silentbobafett2

  • Dec. 14, 2003, 11:02 p.m. CST

    great comedians?

    by mersault

    Mike Myers and Adam Sandler are great comedians? Now THAT'S funny.

  • Dec. 16, 2003, 5:22 p.m. CST

    Plant, mayhaps?

    by Ribbons

    Probably not, but he's definitely quite generous with this review. Ummm...here's a hint: most potheads I've met don't openly "bug" other people for weed money, and most cat fanatics don't even find themselves in a world where they have to leave their wittle kittens messages on the telephone, much less incessantly, and they certainly wouldn't be working at a car dealership. Although some bits do seem funny, so do some bits of sketches on SNL, whose influence I fear may be bleeding through the ink of this script. I think McKay and Ferrell have a fixation with men's jobs, habits, or occupations that substitute for their self-worth. Maybe they should do a movie based on talkbackers.

  • July 11, 2004, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Comparing this to "Used Cars!!!!!

    by Voicedude

    Really! I HOPE no one's comparing this to "Used Cars", that Gale / Zemeckis masterpiece starring Kurt Russell and a hysterical Gerritt Graham - because that's like comparing "Walking Tall" to "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington"! I keep wondering when this crass, sophomoric, aimed at the immature '14-year-old in all of us' trend will finally die - but REALITY tells me it's here to stay. America has been and continues to be DUMBED DOWN. It started when Adam Sandler started getting 20 million dollars per movie and was confirmed when a witty, intelligent, quotable script like "As Good As It Gets" lost out to that talentless duo for "Good Will Hunting" (quote two good lines from that, I dare ya!) But hey, now that ALL media has dug it's way down to the basement (pop music, radio jocks, commercials, TV shows - 'reality' TV? what's real about it?), of COURSE movies (our formerly purest form of entertainment) would have to succumb. Hey, there IS room for a little fart joke humor here and there, the problem is that's ALL we're getting any more. When an intelligent comedy of wit somehow squeaks through, it's usually ignored! The rub is this: when Oprah (somewhat 'classy' once, wasn't she?) with her power to put a book on the best seller list with a mere mention gets on the tube and RAVES about "White Chicks"...how funny it is, how relevant it is, etc....I now KNOW that I've seen the seventh sign of the coming apocalypse! "Hey, everyone! Let's all tip a forty and go see Napoleon Dynamite!" Shoot me now.....

  • May 29, 2009, 12:09 p.m. CST

    2009- The Goods

    by The Boz

    Has this script been repurposed into the Goods starring Jeremy Piven?

  • Aug. 1, 2009, 2:36 p.m. CST

    by vanish27

    Adam McKay says he did a rewrite on it.