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Nordling gives his take on RETURN OF THE KING!
Hey folks, Harry here... actually trying to take my first crack at reviewing this sucker right now... However, I may wait till after the press screening on my birthday to really give it a whack. As it is... The film was so fucking good that my mind was desperately trying to remember moments, feelings, emotions... It's like, during the Q&A someone asked Peter what his favorite scene in this film was... and they asked that of Fran and "The Queen of the Geeks" too, and they literally all had this look like... "A scene?" And as I sit here thinking about writing my own review and listening to Howard Shore's score... all I can think is what Avi Arad told me after he saw RETURN OF THE KING at the L.A. Premiere. He felt sad, sad because he knew that this was it, that we'll never see this sort of beautiful madness on screen again. Where a studio will be insane enough to trust it all to a man with the passion to just get it right. I don't think any critic is currently getting this right. I don't think any of them really truly understands how hard it is to get the emotion to resonate and be the paramount thing, despite the CG... despite the spectacle... despite the enormity of the task. These are the greatest films of my time and I know when the current generation is dead... retired... out of the fucking way, my generation will write this. These films will live and grow in time in a way that outlives the luster of the here and now. Here's Nordling...
Nordling here.
I'm not sure what to say here. I know how I feel about it. Exhilarated. A bit sad. Vindicated and justified. And in the end, just really damn happy it came out as good as it did.
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING is a triumphant end to what is probably - hell what is definitely - the greatest movie trilogy of all time. And yet I can't help feeling a little ambivalent about the whole thing. Not because of any problems with the film - and I do have one, but I'll get to that in a second - but because I really wish there were some way this could keep going on year after year. I was half-hoping that at the Grey Havens Saruman would pop out from behind a column and Frodo and company would have to set off on another adventure. Or that they would have to destroy the Witchking's Ring and go back to Mordor.
Here's the thing... and oh, am I going to get slammed for this in TB, flame away, flame away... THE LORD OF THE RINGS saved my life.
When my father was dying of cancer, these books kept me sane. I read them over and over. I strove to be like Samwise. And Frodo, in a lot of ways, was my dad. And in the end, my father took the White Ship, and it changed me forever. Cancer changed my father. It was a Burden not unlike the Ring. He bacame different, more caustic, more angry, but in the end he accepted his Burden and moved on. And I couldn't help finding similarities in my own life. So when the book ended, I'd wipe a few tears, and go back to the beginning.
These films are like that for me. I can't tell you how happy I was to see my favorite scenes from the books translated to film. Samwise's speech about the Shire, and his brave acts on the slopes of Mount Doom - "If I cannot carry the Ring, then I will carry you!" The Battle of the Pelennor Fields which has to be the greatest battle ever put on film. Eowyn's great stand against the Witchking. The taking up of the mantle by Aragorn. Shelob. (Shelob's fucking scary, folks.) And by far, the pinnacle scene of the trilogy for me - Sam taking on Shelob with just a sword and his heart.
What's my problem with the movie? Aragorn is given too short shrift, in my opinion. I know that the film is long enough, and all the editing, sound, and intermission issues that come with that... but I felt that there was missing scenes about him. I'm sure that will be addressed in the EE, and the EEs really are the definitive versions for me. But I guess I wanted more of everything.
That happens when you don't want a movie to end. Because it's just that good.
You're going to hear a lot of Oscar talk in the next few weeks. Lots of speculation as pundits and glorified Vegas bookies make all sorts of predictions about what will win what and who gets who. But I've decided you won't hear it from me from now on. THE RETURN OF THE KING is beyond this. If it doesn't win one single naked olden boy it won't make the slightest bit of difference to me. We've all been given an extraordinary gift, something that I really didn't expect to see in my lifetime as I read thiese books those years ago. This is a gift that I will never be able to repay. I'm in debt. Peter Jackson, with this film, has entered that great director pantheon for me. It's just that simple... I don't know how these films are going to be topped. The cool thing is, I can't wait to see everyone try. If THE LORD OF THE RINGS films are the watermark to shoot for, some kid out there will try to beat it. And the winners are all of us, who have devoted our lives to loving this so transient of mediums, this emotional rollercoaster document of our existence as human beings, this testimony to the power of the human sprit, even if that spirit has furry feet and is only 3 foot 6 inches tall.
Moriarty wrote an article a few years back about how lucky we all are being geeks in this time of great cinema. I couldn't agree more. And now, it's time for me. I have to contribute to this. I have to make a movie, even if it's crap. I can't die knowing that I didn't try. I don't want my tombstone to say that I lived a life that was comfortable. I can't go out like that. I have so many stories I want to tell, and I can't cheat anymore. It's time.
Yeah, RETURN OF THE KING can do that to you.
By the way, if you're going to the Houston screening on Trilogy Tuesday, I'll be there in my BNAT 5 shirt, and I'm giving - yes, giving - my Peter Jackson signed poster away, as well as an Arwen bust and some other posters. I'm not doing this because I don't want them, because I do. I'm doing this because I want this thing to be like another BNAT for me. I want to share what it was like for me. I want to get those feelings again. I'm probably asking for trouble with this, and I'll likely get mobbed or something. I don't care. I can't wait to see this film with friends again. I can't wait to feel like that again. I can't wait.
We're all BNATers, now. Harry, Moriarty... thank you.
Nordling, out.
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+ Expand All
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Dec 09, 2003 9:37:11 AM CST
I don't get it. I've heard nothing but negative reviews except f
by hobbitastic
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TALKING BOUT MY GENERATION!!!
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I sent you my review for "Return of the King" a week ago. What gives? Well, for those who may wish to read it: http://www.musicomh.com/films/return.htm
Oh, and happy birthday. -
I, like Harry, love the ancipation build-up as I wait for this thing to come out. In some ways, I wish I could prolong this yearning ... a little anticipation is good for the soul!
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This movie cant get here soon enough. And when its over, lets hope there is a two part Hobbit movie adventure in our near future. And that ol PJ is directing them. Let us pray.
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You do live on planet Earth, don't you? Graciousness, I have yet to read a negative review from anyone. Not one.
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I love the way they keep floating by. I'm having a hard time remaining level-headed, what with the film's approval rate seeming to go up ten per cent with each review. Surely it must be at around a hundred and seventy per cent right now? **** Mae govannen, Cutest! I'm not sure we should all convene on this talkback, though. As fresh as it is, it appears to be hosed already. What IS wrong with this site?
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I now forgive you for spoiling Gimli's Mumakil line in your 10 things I learned post. ***hobbitastic: fettastic, I presume? It figures that you'd show up here. You're not fooling anyone, so troll away if you must.
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This Return Of The King movie sounds pretty good. Is it coming out soon?
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Both Variety and Hollywood Reporter are weighing in with positive reviews. HR is pretty much a rave.
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Dec 09, 2003 10:04:14 AM CST
Really, I have only read about good reviews (see Rotten Tomatoes
by lost skeleton
....is that the film is a bit too long. But every review has been positive. I admit, I am a little intimidated by the 200 minute running time but it sounds like the investment in time will be worth it.
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Why didn't they just split it into two films, like Kill Bill? 200 minutes seems like a long time to sit in a dark place just for some skin flick.
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someboday's made a film of the Lord of the Rings trilogy? Nice one! when do they come out?
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The two orcs were of the same breed, both with strong arms hanging long to their knees and wide, muscle-heavy torsos. If they had lived in the mountain caves, their skin would have been dead grey. However, their life as "toll-takers" of the mountain pass had tanned them and narrowed their eyes to slits against the cruel sun. Gorbag was shorter, but strong as an oak stump, with thick lips dented by his yellow fangs. Shagrat stood up straighter than most orcs, and he was thought to have a well-shaped head, a crested skull under sparse hair, a heavy, jutting jaw. They did not know how closely related they were, since they did not know who their fathers had been. Not that it mattered, now; their entire clan was dead, except for them.
Gorbag peered up into a tree with a platform where sides and gobbets of meat were stored. "Didn't loot the meat-cache. They just came to kill." He stamped in anger at the Elves' senseless cruelty.
"Pig guts and elf dung! Fucking rebels," Shagrat snarled. "What did we expect? They took out Ugnak's camp two weeks ago. Same way, too. Set a fire round the camp, then arrows, then they come in for the kill. Told 'em we should have moved on." With his good leg, he kicked a particular corpse, one that had been the camp's leader, and Gorbag guffawed.
Then Gorbag started to drag bodies towards the camp's big fire-pit. He picked the good gear off the corpses, just as the dead orcs had gleaned it from their own victims. Shagrat went through the orcs' lean-tos, built up against a cracked cliff of red sandstone, and dragged out more dead bodies. By the time they were done, they had found all the clan's members and emptied their pockets. Even the orc-whelps had been slaughtered by the elves.
"Any of the brats missing?" Gorbag asked, and Shagrat shook his head.
"Stupid little buggers," Shagrat grumbled. "If they didn't have the brains to run away from the golug, they deserved it."
"Should we burn 'em?" Gorbag asked. They had been roughly equal, warriors in good standing (and smart enough to be craven at times), but authority was simple in their clan. Shagrat was bigger than Gorbag, and stood strong despite his injury, so Gorbag deferred to him.
"After dark, so's the smoke don't bring the golug," said Shagrat. It was an orcish tradition to burn the elf-slain if they could, so that, they said, the Elves did not come back and eat their dead bodies. Gorbag grunted in agreement. Then, they went through the pile of salvaged gear, warily choosing, each expecting the other to start a fight over a choice item. Neither did.
When they were done, Gorbag said, "I'm hungry. I'm getting some meat." He went and clambered up the tree to the cache, and brought back half a cold, roasted mountain-goat, only a little fly-blown.
"Hand some over," said Shagrat. They ripped the side of meat in half, then went back to the brambles to eat and wait. Eating as much as they wanted, without having the meat doled out or quarrelled over, was strange. Again, each of them waited for the other to snarl out, or snatch the other's portion.
Had there only been one orc, he would have stripped his clansman's cold body with a practiced hand. Had there been three, they would have argued without cease. Two was enough to aid survival, and few enough that there could be a d -
Only someone as stupid as fett would post half the shit that IC has. You just can't fake a classic.
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I'm sure this has been asked and answered before, but why are some of the post times not in order?
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"BERLIN (Rueters) New Zealand film director PEter Jackson tipped to win an Oscar for his "The Lord of the Rings" epic, said Monday he would like to make "The Hobbit" prequel to the trilogy and work with some of the same actors again.--- Speaking to journalists in Berlin ahead of the European premier of the last part of the "Rings" trilogy, "The Return of the King", Jackson said he was sad but also relieved that the mammoth project he has worked on for seven years was over. ---- "I'm glad there's not a fourth Lord of the Rings film next year," he said. "I feel very tired and exhausted."--------...Despite his exhaustion, Jackson is not resting on his laurels and said if complex rights issues can be resolved he would like to direct "The Hobbit", J.R.R. Tolkien's prequel to the "Rings" trilogy set some 50 years earlier. -- "I'd be interested in doing it because I think it would give continuity to the overall chapter," he said.--- While many of the lead characters do not appear in "The Hobbit"story, the wizard Gandalf, played by Ian McKellen, and Gollum, the cave dweller corrupted by the powerful ring, do and should make a comeback. Arwen, the elf princess played by Liv Tyler, could also feature again, Jackson said. "
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You are a sick, twisted, pathetic little child. God these Talkbacks are getting so ugly its unbelievable. Cheers for the review, Nordling. Great job. Ignore the bile-drenched teenagers who are increasingly monopolising this site.
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Still, no one has explained to me if this movie is a porn or a fantasy epic (or both?). I mean, I would like either, but it's the wife, you understand.
Maybe I'm just going crazy. Maybe I should pick up those "Lord Of The Rings" books the review talks about. They might just keep me sane. -
Although the orc sex thing was fucking hilarious.
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...started out with "I didn't really care too much for the previous films...". Everything else, from Time to Newsweek to whatever the hell else I've read, praise the film to high heaven. And while most agree that the ending went on a bit, most also agree that the whole series earned such a protracted way to say goodbye.
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Dec 09, 2003 10:35:26 AM CST
"'Road House': The Stage Version of The Cinema Classic That Star
by declan_swartz
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Nice review though, but it's a shame about the trolls and weirdos here. I'm off back to the Elle Woods review TB.
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I'm inclined to think we should go with the other one (26) as this one has yet to finish with the olog-hai.
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These people are so rude. Screw you all.
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I'm with Djinnj. Let's try 26.
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Dec 09, 2003 10:49:55 AM CST
Lestat, you haven't returned any of my calls, I'm getting sad :(
by mortsleam
I wanna take you around back and do you like your daddy did. You too, m_heseltine. There's nothing quite like LOTR porn that gets my blood a-pumpin' and makes my want to stab some virgin poo. Although from your porsts I think you'd both just maybe like it a bit too much. Which is a shame, 'cause when I ass-rape trolls, I like them to put up a little fight...
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The Hobbit should have:
A cameo by Legolas, since they do go to the kingdom that he is from and meet his father.
John Rhys Davies playing Gimli's father, Gloin.
Andy Serkis as Gollum, and Ian McKellen as Gandalf of course. Ian Holm as Bilbo too, although maybe they'll re-cast. Really, we need the Ian Holm from Alien (ie 25 years ago) to play Bilbo.
Brian Blessed as a Dwarf... probably Thorin.
Weaving as Elrond (he appears in the book) and Arwen could be there too. Hell, you could have a young Aragorn there too (played by a younger actor, maybe dubbed with Mortensen's voice). -
I had some problems with the Internet these days, finally solved. "Bakshi -
Dec 09, 2003 11:29:01 AM CST
If there's anyones work on Lord of the Rings I most admire it wo
by braine
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that had to be the most biased review i have ever read - get some integrity "Nordling.."
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Dec 09, 2003 11:41:25 AM CST
Hobbitastic, what negative reviews are you talking about.
by mr. waturi
I'm just curious. Obviously I'll make up my own mind when I actually see the film, but every review that I have seen outside of this site has been glowing as well. The handful that are up at rottentomatoes are all very positive (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/TheLordoftheRingsTheReturnoftheKing-1127213/reviews.php). So enlighten us, please.
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that he didn't actually review the film, nor has anyone else who "saw" it - now i understand there must be some kind of lock down on actual reviews until nearer the release date so why bother posting nothing and claming its a review - cowardess thats why. If you saw it tell us if you didnt (or cant tell us ) dont promise a review and then give us paragraphs of emotions!!!!
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getting too exited now..(come on breath, breath)
Has anyone else done this? I booked for a showing for ROTK and I booked for the next showing which is an hour later....am I an idiot or is this wise?....reading all these BNAT reports makes me easier and I hope my butt can stand it but the same film? Help need advice!. thx -
Movie sounds good, eh what? So, ROTK will come out and that will be the end. Actually, you know what? I've decided to write that novel now. No more fucking about, it's time to get on with things. If I don't write my own stories, and LOTR is over with, how shall I be entertained? Somehow, "The Haunted Mansion" and "The Cat In The Hat" aren't going to cut it.
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The one time I wished chocolate never existed.
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"When the New Line logo cane up, I started crying, and didn't stop crying until the final credit rolled over three hours later." // "Saying good-bye to Samwise, Frodo, and all the others was like saying good-bye to best friends that you have watched grow over the last three years." // "I had a strange feeling in my stomach when ROTK ended. Was it sadness, or the 25 pizzas, 52 hot dogs, and 77 Pepsi's I had throughout the night?" // Harry's written fellatio will be much along those lines...I want to see McWeeny's review, which will hopefully be a bit more non-biased than the one running the site with the ROTK banners.
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Better get it right, he'll have a go at me otherwise.
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Get up and get out and get on with life! Write that book! Personally, I'm so inspired, I'm almost tempted to finally finish that 600 page screenplay that sitting on my computer desk. The only problem is it's a spec script for "The Silmarillion." What cruel irony...
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Dudes, greetings from the UK, just wanted to drop u a note to say keep up the good work, only been a devotee of your site for a few months but have never read an untrue review of a movie. Cant wait to see ROTK, your reviews have left me with nothing but anticipation. Anyways....enough chat.....Laters!
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Dec 09, 2003 12:49:49 PM CST
National board of review gives no awards to return of the king
by jeffallee
They didn't even include it on there 10 best films of the year list. These are the first film awards to be given out every year and since it's not favorable to return of the king you will never read about it on the aint it cool website. I'm glad there is no conflict of interest in Peter Jackson's recent visit to austin.
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pretty spoiler-free
http://www.jiminycritic.com/review.asp?ReviewID=187 -
Dec 09, 2003 1:21:48 PM CST
"If it doesn't win one single naked olden boy it won't make the
by alwaysthere
Thank God for that. I might not agree with the oral blowjob that you just gave everybody involved with this Trilogy, but that one sentence proves that you do have some sanity. If only all the LOTR fanboys would understand that also.
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Left or right?
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Dec 09, 2003 1:33:44 PM CST
Hey, is there goin gto be sword fighting and crying midgets and
by sea bass
Cause I'm worried it might deviate from the previous 8 hours I had to wade through (has girlfriend who drags me to these things. Better than romantic comedies I suppose). I just can't wait until the ring is finally thrown into the fire and that big glowing vagina falls down (just in case there was any doubt about the homosexual subtext of this grand story, [not that there's anything wrong with that]) so we can wade through an hour of closure for each and every one of the one dimensional characters in excrusional detail. The blowjob afterwards better be especially sloppy.
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I've seen some entries in talkbacks that are the very definition of degeneracy, but there's one entry here today that disturbs me, and I just skipped through it. Let's just say the subject matter rhymes with "pay pork morn"
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Thank you DJ for not letting me take that white ship....
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I just had like a huge lump in my throat for the last hour. whew. what an incredible movie. unfuckinBEfuckinlievafucknble.
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Enjoy -http://www.themoviebox.net/movies/2003/Lord-of-the-Rings_ROTK/trailer-page.html - Scroll to the bottom...more spoiler-ish than the nine minutes that are already floating around.
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that will never, EVER, be remade.
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Instead of reading LOTR Nordling should've-I'm guessing here-read biochemestry and come up with a cure for cancer? Hacked his dad's head off with a dull spork to end his suffering? What?
Yes, Fishy Dear,
What IS the true meaning of life? Why do we suffer and die? How do we deal with human fraility and the futility of human existance??? Obviously you alone know the answers to these questions, so please enlighten us...
(damn, I should not have gone out partying with George Clinton last night, my head is killing me!) -
just don't forget..
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I've only seen one, and it was a hardcore purist on a tolkien site. Still waiting for a negative review that has a complaint other than "how dare they change the books".
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That's turtle power!
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LOTR sucks even more than it did last week.
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I'm not Fettastic. But he was awesome so thanks for the compliment.
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Dec 09, 2003 6:09:49 PM CST
why is everyone calling phillipa boyens the queen of geeks???
by windowlicker74
??strange..
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However, I assume his dad was dying at home (as most do these days, thanks to insurance limitations on hospital care for the terminally ill) so going out and doing much of anything during that time would've been iffy at best since he had to be on call for bedpan/blocked IV line/cath care/drink of water duty. When my Grandmother was dying was how I finally got Gormenghast read...in between getting vomited on, dealing with balky medical equipment and sleeping maybe two hours at a time. (Talk about a lousy choice for "escapest" fiction-I should've read something *cheery*, like Goodby to All That!) Hospice only provides minimal nursing care and some limited technical support for the medical equipment, the family does the rest. The experience can be very isolating. Would Nordling have killed himself? Many caregivers do, its not that unusual...Sleep deprivation alone can drive you over the edge...
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www.chizzledhard.com
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Dec 10, 2003 12:17:18 AM CST
Nordling, I appreciate your passion for this movie, and I'm sure
by johnnytremaine
...I really do hope you didn't mean that if you don't ever get to make a movie, you wouldn't have been making a positive impact on society.
Hey, if you REALLY want to make a difference, volunteer your time to help out unfortunate people, donate money or your services to an org. like The Red Cross.
If you really, really need to make an artistic statement you could always sit down with pen and paper and just write a novel, like Mr. Tolkien did.
That's my two cents. -
Good comeback. But we're back where we started-and durn it, now both Nordling *and* myself (Hey Nord, you want to be my sidekick?) have to get together and somehow change the nature of the universe/all of humanity/the healthcare system in America, with no escapism allowed till the job is done!
When we're through with that-we'll get all the bugs out of Microsoft! C'on Nordling, saddle up-put that book down...head for that windmill!Looks like a Dragon to me.... -
My faith in human nature around here restored. Happy Chistmas.
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why havent you answerd my question ? Why did not write several paragraphs and NOT review this moive.....if your not going to write a review DONT WASTE MY TIME BY SAYING ITS ONE. I recommend reading some actual reviews of films (not from this site but something like say BBC films or even a newspaper review and learn how its done.
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ONE week until LotR:RotK!!!!!!!!! ***Bring it on home, Alfalfa: "The round Moon rolled behind the hill / as the Sun raised her head / She hardly believed her fiery eyes; / For though it was day to her surprise / they all went back to bed!" [Alfalfa slips on the Ring and ... disappears.]
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Damn that return key. Sorry folks. Just wanted to share my passion for these movies with ye all. For the past few weeks I have been pouring myself whole heartedly into the movie phenomenom that is The Lord of the Rings. Watching all the special features on the DVD's, reading Empire Magazine's feature. I'm putting my Christmas night out with my work mates on hold so that I can see Return of the King wednesday. I bought my ticket today. 1.10pm GMT which is five hours ahead of New York. It's really cool to look around in theatres like this and see all the faces of those people with that knowing look. They are here for the same reasons I am. I can't wait. Bring it on. Maybe I'll make it to the party later. Who knows.I could be an emotional wreck when it finally hits me that it's all finally over.
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My God...there has got to be a MAJOR void in your life for you to find the LOTR films THAT amazing and important. They have some cool CGI and are well-done, but they are far from masterpieces. I find them mildly entertaining, but nothing beyond that. Reality check!
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