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Re: StandBy Seats @ BNAT 5 -- Latest Updates!

Hello folks, Harry here... It seems that I've been working on BNAT 5 forever now. The plans are all nearly locked. The timing, the breaks, the introductions... The allowed "semantics," the political placements, the travel arrangements, the yearbooks, the t-shirts, the tubes to insert posters, the bags to insert goodies, the goodies to insert, the posters to roll... THEN there's the pre-BNAT bashes, the dignitaries from far off Minnesota and their pagan orgiastic requests. Begging desperate seating requests... oh yes, the seating chart, the trailer reels, the break programming, the breakfast planning, the security issues, the last minute print tracking... Oh and then I have to run the site nearly solo due to Moriarty's recent time at various brothels and numerous domiciles of cool-repute... well, there doesn't ever seem like there's enough hours in the day to plan what is essentially... just my Birthday Party.

At the same time... it really is the most wonderful giddy little secret thing ever. The veil of mystery that hangs about it all... watching Talkback speculation, the various chatroom conversations... the sub-cult websites that lay odds of films that could play... GOD, what I'd give for an active betting line - I'd so clean up!

Then... there's the last minute cancelations. The poor folks that for one reason or another... just won't be able to make it to BNAT 5... poor miserable souls that know not the depths of their misery... till next Monday, when suddenly the long black void grows impossibly deep and wide... unable to be filled with anything beyond the bitterness of tears. BUT - as with all things, tragedy has an upside... Loss has its gains... Misery its joy. For their loss is the possiblity of your gain. STAND BY TICKETS...

There will be a very limited (under 9 it looks like, could be more or less, but that sounds about right) amount of STAND BY TICKETS. Now, here's the thing... I don't want folks camping out for these standby tickets, so what I'm going to say is this... The STAND BY LINE is allowed to form at exactly 10am this Saturday morning. Why force a start time? Simple - You will be no good to anyone if you've been camping out in front of the Drafthouse all night or a couple of days before BNAT... For one, that means you won't be clean or properly rested. I plan on getting there slightly before 10am --- anyone standing in the "Standby Line" zone will be voided at that time. I'll have a Paint Gun with me, I will shoot you with a bright paint dart which will mean... YOU AIN'T GOING TO BNAT, so just know... that 10am is when you're allowed to line up, before then... You'll carry the mark of disappointment.

Father Geek just suggested the following, and I agree... The STAND BY Ticket holders will not be chosen in "order of the line" but by random interrogation. HOWEVER - if you arrive with somebody - and there are two seats to be filled - you and your guest gets in... However, if there is one seat to be filled and you are chosen, it is your fate to deal with your friend. However, if there is only 1 seat left and there's someone that is a single - they'll be chosen over "a pair".

BTW - the goody bags this year... they're going to be the best ever. I promise!

Readers Talkback
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  • Dec. 2, 2003, 10:24 a.m. CST

    it burns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by thegodfather

    i meant to say Harry- if that IS your real name- if you're gonna spray innocent young things in the face with paint, you might end up with a lawsuit on your hands- that paint blinds man. tut tut. enjoy your birthday in the police station.

  • Dec. 2, 2003, 10:29 a.m. CST

    Dammit Harry!

    by John Maddening

    Our orgies are NOT PAGAN!

  • Dec. 2, 2003, 10:58 a.m. CST

    Paintball guns? Shit Harry, why don't we just wrassle for ticket

    by Big Bad Clone

  • Dec. 2, 2003, 11 a.m. CST

    Salome.

    by gurglesnap

    BNAT is so much fun. Have a good time everyone.....

  • Dec. 2, 2003, 11:10 a.m. CST

    WOOO!!!!

    by Dmann

    I CANT WAIT! YAAY! Oh, and im putting together a contact list, that will be sent out tomorrow. So, if you are actually attending BNAT, and want to drop me a line, feel free to give a contact/cellphone number, any info on when youre getting in, if you need a ride from the airport, Ill put that on there (no promises that someone will be there to give you a ride!) plans for friday night, etc. feel free to email me.

  • Dec. 2, 2003, 12:37 p.m. CST

    This should be interesting

    by zacdilone

    People sitting in their cars until 9:59, then rushing out to the line all at the same time. Wish I could be there to see the mad dash!

  • Dec. 2, 2003, 4:52 p.m. CST

    Birthday List...

    by Sarah

    Yeah, why isn't the Minnasotan's orgy listed on Quint's list of what to get the geeks you love?

  • Dec. 2, 2003, 5:07 p.m. CST

    It's always 10:00 AM somewhere

    by MiserableRainGod

    ...and since Harry didn't specify a time zone, I suggest y'all get there whenever the hell ya want. ;) And how do we know that Harry's watch isn't a few minutes fast or slow, which could really screw some people over? How will we know? How, how? I don't care myself - I'll be in NYC having a marathon viewing of the LOTR EEs this weekend. For the rest of you, have fun! And Harry, have a Happy Birthday.

  • Dec. 2, 2003, 6:36 p.m. CST

    This should be fun to watch...

    by Nordling

    I just worry that some heartbroken geek will try to rush the doors or something. Anyway, 4 more days...

  • Dec. 2, 2003, 8:45 p.m. CST

    eat like a

    by thereman

    A breakfasting in austin tip: Try JUAN IN A MILLION on E. Cezar Chavez Street. ORDER THE DON JUAN TACO!!!! For a mere two dollars and change, you will receive a tortilla covered in a HEAPING MOUND of baconeggpotatoandcheese. A MOUND--enough food for hibernation, enough food to fuel a Maine lumberjack, enough food for ButtNumbAThon. Also, the salsa's nice and hot, and if the owner's in, he'll give you a handshake you won't soon forget. Peace.

  • Dec. 2, 2003, 8:53 p.m. CST

    this is freakin crap

    by johne5

    Man this burns my biscuits, I was going to wait starting friday night, but no I gotta wait till 10 in the freaking morning and then maybe if I pass some interrogation I'll get in,.......but yeah I'll do it. And regarding Juan In A Million, yeah I never had it even though I dated Juan In A Millions Daughter, I'd love to go but somethings happened and I dont think I'd be welcome right now. See yall at 10 suckas......

  • Dec. 2, 2003, 9:09 p.m. CST

    Well, Sarah...

    by John Maddening

    ...it's because everyone else is paired off except me! All the attending Minnesotans are married or in long-term relationships. All of them except me, the youngest and the prettiest! I am, of course, available to all the cute geek girls who need some geek boy lovin' directly from L'Etoile du Nord!

  • Dec. 3, 2003, 1:12 a.m. CST

    pre-BNAT party

    by Klink

    I'll be having a few beers and watching a few movies friday night. Any other BNATers wanna stop by drop an e-mail.

  • Dec. 3, 2003, 2:36 a.m. CST

    Damn

    by IAmJacksUserID

    Maybe when I get rich and shove off the cruel bondage of retail slavery I can actually muster the means to attend one of these deal-e-o's. For now, I guess I will have to wallow in the drunken misery of my shitty unlife.

  • Dec. 3, 2003, 3:36 a.m. CST

    Don't Bring Paintball Guns!!!!

    by cheisok

    Or rotten eggs or rolls of toilet paper or dog shit and throw it at Harry. Also, don't protest or yell at the pathetic nerds attending this lowly, pretentious event. We need your cooperation in avoiding a scene so Harry can jerk off all he wants on stage and molest his fans without them reporting it because he knows they need tickets to BNAT 43 so they may watch a Rotten Tomatoes movie or something involving Paul Walker and a goat. Oh, and any second-rate celebrities will need to enter through the sewer drain in the back of the Drafthouse while the good celebrities(Carrot Top) can enter through Harry's dressing room passage and then he may give you a handjob. Let's see....anything I've missed....dog shit, pretentious waste of time, handjob Harry. Ah, one more thing, you may get priority seating if you donate a young, Korean boy to Harry's flesh fund and also a free keychain made by...wait for the irony...young, Korean boys. Hehe...we thought you'd like that one...enjoy!!!! BNAT rules and Harry likes blumpkins!!!

  • Dec. 3, 2003, 2:12 p.m. CST

    dude, where's my seat?

    by Grendy

    Harry... how are you gonna assign seats? I would like to sit w/Saffy and Vegas. also... peeps who are coming should meet w/ a buncha us Friday night at the Embassy Suites for some hangin' out to be planned. peace out ~G~

  • Dec. 3, 2003, 2:21 p.m. CST

    Alamo Friday Night

    by lookingatanace

    I am planning to be at the Alamo Friday night for the 100 Most Sexy Moments (or something like that). Don't worry, my women is going to be there,too. I will be the one in the hockey jersey with the woomen who smiles allot. Also, don't miss the children's museum just a few blocks down from the drafthouse. Plus Dynasty on Sunday Night at the Alamo (and Chinese food).

  • Dec. 3, 2003, 3:15 p.m. CST

    Ummm....HELP!

    by lostoptimist

    Hey guys...I've been away from the computer the last couple days and it seems everything has gone to heck. Vegas/Saffy, I believe I'm staying with you guys but I don't have any contact info ('cause I'm one of those rare breed who don't have cellphones). I tried e-mailing you, Vegas, but it bounced back...I'm going to try and make it into chat around 8PM or 9PM tonight. Hopefully, one of you will be there.

  • Dec. 3, 2003, 3:26 p.m. CST

    Ummm....HELP!

    by lostoptimist

    Hey guys...I've been away from the computer the last couple days and it seems everything has gone to heck. Vegas/Saffy, I believe I'm staying with you guys but I don't have any contact info ('cause I'm one of those rare breed who don't have cellphones). I tried e-mailing you, Vegas, but it bounced back...I'm going to try and make it into chat around 8PM or 9PM tonight. Hopefully, one of you will be there.

  • Dec. 3, 2003, 3:32 p.m. CST

    Lost...

    by Nordling

    just sent you an e-mail with Vegas's contact info.

  • Dec. 4, 2003, 5:10 a.m. CST

    The Plan!

    by DavidCamp

    If Harry tries to shoot paint at anyone, dive downwards and take it in the eyes. You may be blinded, but you can take legal action over the whole thing and make millions!!

  • Dec. 4, 2003, 6:22 p.m. CST

    harry

    by johne5

    Harry are you serious about the paintballs, are you for real man? Cause I was actually looking forward to waiting overnight in line, I think you underestimate my staying awake powers, i've stayed up for two days at a time before. I wonder how the interrogations are going to work.

  • Dec. 4, 2003, 6:55 p.m. CST

    How sad am I?

    by Jaka

    I've never been to a BNAT, but have read all the reports, talk backs and updates leading up to the event starting with #2. I was just reading this talk back and realized that I was enjoying it...and it's about NOTHING! Very wierd. Anyway. Enjoy everyone. Looking forward to reading about all the festivities.