Father Geek here...The holidays here seem to have affected the Downunder cine industry work-week as well as ours, here's what Latauro could find to send in for the past week...

It's just like Santa's workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms... and everyone looks like they wanna hurt me...

AICN-DOWNUNDER

Short column this week, and no reviews. It's all that damn cocaine - I was told it would give me a sunny and pleasing disposition! Lousy, misleading 19th Century doctors...

In the meantime, here's the latest news from Australia and New Zealand, coloured with our unique brand of font.

NEWS

* It seems that Little Johnny's response to Dubya's, "No sanctions on internet media!" was "Uh... okee." Yes, it's the Free Trade Agreement again, the hottest topic of conversation for actors and filmmakers everywhere around the country. If what General Valenti says is true, that films could be getting internet releases within eighteen months, then we could be seeing a big drop-off in cinema tickets. So, not only will Australian film and television suffer a big blow, but local theatres won't even be able to make money off American product! Someone remind me, when's the next federal election?

* Niki Caro, currently sweeping up the international kudos with an army of bulldozers and forklifts, is working on an adaptation of another New Zealand novel, this time "The Vintner's Luck" by Elizabeth Knox. The story follows the relationship between a man and an angel in 19th Century France. So far, Caro's WHALE RIDER has made its budget back six times over. Caro is blown away, and fully expects an Oscar nomination for child actor Keisha Castle-Hughes. Wouldn't be the first time a young girl has received Oscar love for a New Zealand film... right, Anna?

* Robert Connolly, director of THE BANK, is now turning his attentions towards THREE DOLLARS, an adaptation of the 1998 book by Elliot Perlman. Two of the three leads have been cast, with David Wenham (LOTR's Faramir) and Sarah Wynter (Kate Warner in "24") signing on. More casting will be announced soon, with photography beginning in Melbourne in the early part of next year.

BOX OFFICE

Jack Black hit first position running, which was to be expected. MATRIX took a slight dive, and TEXAS debuted in third spot. It's heartening to see a straight-out drama hitting the top five, though I expect to see it make even more when it's re-released for the Oscars (it'll happen).

The top money makers were...

• 1. SCHOOL OF ROCK
• 2. MATRIX REVOLUTIONS
• 3. TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
• 4. MYSTIC RIVER
• 5. SEABISCUIT

RELEASED THIS WEEK

Will Ferrell cashes in on the November Christmas spirit, parents are forced to sit through a dog of a movie, the violent team-ups continue with Hindus vs Muslims, Sam the Man puts together a top-notch squad of oh my god I've gone to sleep already, and Richard Franklin returns to the heights he soared to with PSYCHO II.

Annnnnd the new flicks showing downunder are...

• ELF
• GOOD BOY!
• MR AND MRS IYER
• S.W.A.T.
• VISITORS

NEXT WEEK

- Michael Bay to produce a remake of Todd Browning's FREAKS, starring Rachel Leigh Cook, Seann William Scott and DJ Qualls as a group of teens whose rock band hits it big when they use circus freaks in their video clip

- Michael Bay to produce a remake of TOUCH OF EVIL with Gael Garcia Bernal, and Michelle Trachtenberg as a pair of teens trying to buy pot in Mexico, and Anthony Anderson as the bumbling cop who tries to stop them

- Michael Bay to produce a remake of THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY with Jason Biggs, Seth Green and Matthew Lillard as a group of teens trying to find a buried treasure hidden by an ageing rock star

Peace out,

Latauro

downunder@aintitcoolmail.com