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Empire Strikes Back: Special Edition review

Ok folks, I saw Empire Strikes Back Special Edition tonight. I don't want to spoil the experience here, so like I did before, I will simply relate the experience of the film. First, I should say this is my favorite of the trilogy.

I arrived at the theater about three hours ahead of time to secure my fave seat (third row central), I was the first. So instead of waiting inside the theater, I sat outside at some benches, by myself. I was awaiting the arrival of my father (who has seen every first screening of a Star Wars film in Austin with me since Star Wars originally appeared) Now sure I knew what was to come, or so I thought, but I was excited to be there. Soon other lucky ticket holders arrived, many with that goofy look in their eye. Then my family arrived and into the theater we went. Now I was awaiting my friend and ally Geek #2 Glen. You see Glen and I moved heaven and earth to become important in the eyes of the regional 20th Century Fox promotional department. Not an easy task. He spent days tracking down the tickets, first picking them up at the printers, then through a contact in the postal department, then when they arrived at the Fox offices. Then it was time to divert two passes to our mutual mailboxes. Let's just say, the force has a power over the strong minded too. The passes procured, it was now my duty to hold line space for him. Now you have to understand, usually when Geek #2 is enroute to coolness, a terrible catastrophe befalls not only him but every single thing between him and his destined coolness. Amazingly through perilous traffic no harm came to him. Obviously the micro- meteorite that was destined to destroy his carbaureator in his vehicle while on the mix master at Ben White was caught staring at the blocked traffic and skewered a unlucky cow, I know this because it was seen in his rear view mirror. He has his moments, not many, but he has him. Now it was time for the line to begin in earnest. We all sat around in the lobby listening to the tales of woe of my fathers gruelling Paul Verhoeven inspired childhood, "Beware of Jimmy Brown!!!!" The line enjoyed and winced as every detail and then began relating their most physically painful moment. Ahhhh, a line for Empire. Pain was obviously the order of business. Then it was time to seat. Yahooooooooooo

Once inside my friend and I noticed that Star Wars babes exist in force, thank yall. Unfortunately they had dweebish pencil necked compu-geeks that weren't nearly the calibre of geek that he and I were. Such travisties do exist I assure you. Then radio dude took up our geek time with stupid moo-money news. Lulabelle the cash cow(obviously spared in the micro meteorite attack earlier), man I hate KHFI. We waved at the projectionist twice, and then the lights dimmed. The screen became illuminated with the first twinklings of the green preview screen, PG. Then the Fox logo, followed by the LucasFilm logo with a yearning Williams music in the background followed by a new trailer for Jedi, man a real Skyhopper in flight, your jaw will drop, I swear I was not prepared by the production sketches on my site. "It really does fly" Then the evil Act III stuff followed by the greatest film you will ever likely pay witness to. With all the new stuff, which is by the way LETTER PERFECT, the most amazing thing is still that friggin muppet. Yoda is sooooooooooooooooo REAL, I mean how can a puppet do that stuff, there is a soul in those eyes. "The Eyes are the windows to the soul" Let me say in regards to the new stuff, which if any of you spoil in this newsgroup, you should rot in hell in my opinion. Put Spoiler warnings please. This new stuff is amazing. I mean there is no adequate way to humanly describe with out gesturing like a friggin mad man. I mean its so frigginnnn cool. By the way adults substitute the word you would put in place of friggin, it probably has a u in it somewhere. There are new moments of such profound beauty that tears will instantly flood your eyes, your mouth will go dry except for the corners which will produce large quantities of drool, and your other geek activated extremities will do what they usually do. Boy that's not too pretty a sight when I think of it. Afterwards we all sorta did the living dead stunned walk out of the theater. Geek #2 had professed that he must leave quickly. However, the utter coolness of this new stuff and that damn muppet so overtook him that twenty minutes quickly jumped by on our watches. Strange musta been some disturbance with force like thingees. Me tawk weal gud. Anyway folks, you will be amazed. I will be in line Thursday night at the Lincoln in Austin for the next available showing, as I thought seriously about taking my cache of weapons and forcing them to screen it again tonight, after all it's only Dante's Peak in that screening room, surely no one would mind. See yall there.

Readers Talkback
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  • May 27, 2000, 6:55 a.m. CST

    The Empire Strikes Back Again

    by Andymation

    Your favourite, Harry? If you ask me, it's the least good. Don't get me wrong it's a fucking fabulous movie, I just...You see, it's the middle of the story. The start is lacking and there is really no finish. That's how I see things. Yoda is the highlight by the way...

  • Oct. 30, 2000, 1:39 a.m. CST

    continuing this five-month old debate (that probably won't be po

    by Tall_Boy

    I say that ESB is one of the strongest of the original trilogy BECAUSE of what happens in the previous and later flick. Its open-ending is very much in tradition of the flash gordon serials that inspired SW. The reason people cite this one as thier favorite is because of what it does to the characters who we got to know and love in A New Hope, deepens and strengthens them. Also, out of all the SW movies, this is where Vader is at his most badass. But, now with the prequels comming out, its all very tragic because you know that, inside of there, is the "Chosen One", somewhere. THATS why the Vader's betrayl of the Emperor and unmasking sequence ROTJ has so much more emotional impact now, it makes sense. But, this movie is the heart of the original trilogy, by sheding new light on the first ones and the ramifications continuing to the second one. A middle part of an act, it may be, but a damn good one...

  • Nov. 19, 2002, 4:26 a.m. CST

    Continuing this two year old debate

    by prims

    In my opinion this is the best film of the entire SW series as TallBoy said this is when we begin to see the true power of vader as he kicks the hell out of Luke and it also has probably the best climax to any film as Vader reveals himself to be Lukes father. I remember when I first saw this all those years ago my jaw just dropped. But one of the best aspects of this film was the relationship between Han and Leia. All in all a true classic its just such a shame that the new SW films don't give me the same joy as the original films. ps I wonder if anyone will post on this talkback thread again? Some how I don't think so. In that case I'M LAST!!!!!!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

  • Feb. 19, 2003, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Has it already been this long?

    by Wickhmar

    ESB rocks. I like my George Lucas medium rare with a bit of salt and pepper sauce. I'm not too fond of the sweet marmalady jello stuff. Deep huh? This talkback is real archeology now. Wonder when the next person'll post. It's like handing down a family heirloom or something. Oh my. I've just been shot. *gargh*. Can't.... breathe... Keep the thread alive........Auughhhhhhh

  • June 22, 2004, 2:04 p.m. CST

    heirloom-continuing the debate

    by SaintofKillers

    I am the last one to post, LAST! I have inherited this talkback from my mytical predecessors, and now I wait to see who will be the next to write down their opinions of star wars. By the way, ROTJ is best cause there's Ewoks! The greatest creation in the star wars universe untill Jar Jar Binks! Actually, I havent a favourite part.

  • July 4, 2004, 12:07 p.m. CST

    You bastard!

    by SaintofKillers

    You bastard! I wanted at least two years before any new posts appeared , time to enjoy my discovery of this talback and happy in the knowlage that I had the final word in this debate. You utter, utter bastard orcus, I hate you, not only did you ruin my dream, but you did so in a completely un-humerous way, what are you, eight!? But now, I'm LAST again, hurray! And to anyone thinking of posting, I suggest you give it to years , for I have a big pissed off atomic spider robot, who hates it when I don't get my way, you have been warned...

  • Sept. 3, 2005, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Admiral Ozzel is dead...

    by Rendell

    Shocking but true, Micheal Sheard passed away at the age of 65 after losing his long struggle with cancer a few days ago. Just thought I should add that as a postscript to this talkback.

  • Nov. 30, 2006, 8:39 a.m. CST

    This just in...

    by 0rcus

    Admiral Ozzel is still dead and Saintofkillers likes the taste of sperm

  • April 6, 2010, 10:13 p.m. CST

    My Talkback

    by DoctorT

    Mine. Empire Hope Jedi Sith Menace Clones

  • Dec. 5, 2010, 7:20 p.m. CST

    Since when DoctorT?

    by orcus

    Really?