Lewis & Clark & George and Colin Fitz

This was a day that I was in stiches about. Today I was going to have to take the stage at
the Paramount Theater and do my presentation of "MY PICKS" of the fest. Specifically
out of the feature competition, meaning nine films, which were the finalists out of the
millions that the Austin Film Festival people waded through.

This was a very difficult job for me, because my job was to basically compare films of
different styles and different genres and pick the so-called "best". A tough job indeed!!!

This night began with a MTV party at a Saloon, where Amanda Plummer met my sister,
where Robert Rodriguez met my sister and spoke the immortal words, "Oh yeah, you're
the one that's never there." hahahahahahahhaaha, great words Robert, great. My sister's
bottom lip became a diving board. Twas great. My sister became nervous beyond words
when faced with "HoneyBunny" a goddess in her book. And she almost exploded when
Dennis Hopper touched her.

Meanwhile I was pigging out on the Fajita Buffet. Grabbed some friendly conversation,
and sat on these tall bar stool type of things. Talked film, until a cool reporter type came
up. I last met this fella at Quentin Tarantino's Film Festival from a year or so ago. We
talked about my "transformation" from utter nobody, to a "name". Lots of laughing
ensued. Then a very cool writer who wrote something all of you have seen came up. He
told me about how the exec he is currently dealing with has my page printed out on his
desk each morning. Then he left, and a cool director type came up. He directed the very
good film, that I would see the next night called BAD MANNERS. We talked about the
moral ground of covering Test Screenings vs the right to privacy. It was a fantastic
conversation that I could of continued all night long. Unfortunately I had to take the stage
at the Paramount.

So off I was.

I was sheparded to the Paramount by Austin Film Festival dude... Jason. He looked worn
down, constant schmoozing and organizing was showing on him. He needed a vacation as
Ahnuldt said in T2.

I was then taken into the theater. We arrived about 15 minutes early, and I could see that
we had an pretty good sized crowd. Nowhere near full, but then with Dennis Hopper
presenting EASY RIDER in another theater that night, I wasn't about to fill the place.

When I was taken on stage, I was behind the screen. Didn't look all that cool. Then Jason
went out and did some sort of intro, I wasn't paying attention, I was trying to think of
something to say.

I walked out on stage and BAM the lights hit me. I couldn't see a thing. Geez, I couldn't
see anyone in the theater. I'm not afraid of large groups of people, but I like to see who I
am talking to. With this sort of blindness, the studio hired assassin could easily pick me
off. I babbled. I have no idea what I said, but the people in the audience, or at least the
people on the otherside of the lights giggled and laughed. I'm pretty sure I mentioned
something about how much I wanted Rose McGowan, which also garnered laughter.
That's good. I didn't want to hear hissing and booing. I thought I was hated. I came with
a plastic bag in my back pocket to put the tomatos and pineapples that I anticipated people
hurling at me. Alas, my bag went unfilled, dang it.

Then I walked off screen, they were clapping. That's a good sign. And I went out to take
my seat. And awaited LEWIS & CLARK & GEORGE. It came on and kicked the
audiences' ass.

I have NO IDEA when the rest of yall will see this film, but I own my own video copy of
it, I demanded it. It is VERY COOOL. Rose McGowan is a goddess in this film.
Coolest femme on screen since Uma in Pulp Fiction in my opinion. It's a story of two
escaped convicts, a mute girl, and a map to a gold mine. Buuuuuuuuuuut....

This movie was made with the Cool genre in mind. Sped up camera movement, quirky
characters and plot. Violence, Sex, all the things a growing boy needs to know. And in
my opinion the single coolest scene in film this year. It's a musical scene, and when You
see it a smile will cross your face like you won't believe. I loved this scene.

Now a warning, alot of people hate this movie apparently. It was voted like worst film of
Sundance or something. Ehhhhh, what do they know. This is a goofy fun movie. If you
are in a goofy fun mood, you'll agree. I've seen it like 5 times already and won't stop. I
like it alot. I mean it has Paul Bartel, what do ya want?

Ok, the film ended and people were like clapping and stuff. I went out into the lobby to
hear what people were saying about the film, and they said they loved it. One person
came up to thank me for bringing that film to them. Coool. I haven't had that feeling too
much. It was cool.

Then Robert Bella showed up, the director of COLIN FITZ and he and I had to introduce
his film together. Now Bela, as his friends call him, is very very cool. A director with a
future me thinks.

We went back stage and I'm told that I have to introduce a short film first. PROBLEM,
I've never seen it before. Heh Heh. No problem I say. I confirm the director's name so I
don't completely screw up, and then take the stage.

I come out and once again I am blinded by those damn lights. I said something like this,
"Hey folks, well next I have a short film called Toast for ya. I've been thinking alot about
it, and I decided I don't want to spoil a thing for ya. I mean really, what can I say about
this one? (BIG SMILE) The director is out there, take a bow. (LOTS OF APPLAUSE)
Alright, I can guarantee you one last thing... After it's over, you'll be clapping, I know I
will"

I come off stage and Robert is laughing his ass off. So am I. We take our seats and it was
actually ok. And sure enough, they all clapped. We rushed back stage and I saw
something that changed me forever.

I saw the backside of the screen as something played. It was beautiful. The end titles
were playing, and the words hit the floor then went againts the back wall then up into the
sand bags hanging above. This was a magical world to me. Twenty Five years I sat on
the otherside of the screen, watching, never seeing this world. I was stunned, what an
incredibly beautiful place. Robert and I began seeing scenes taking place here, and it was
something special. We were both seeing another world for the first time. This was a
religious experience for me. You could look through the screen, at the audience sitting
there looking at the screen. The words and light playing over your body. The bright
projector light starbursting in the uppermost area of the theater. It was heaven.

Then Robert and I took the stage. I was hamming it up something special, you see I love
Colin Fitz. He was an amazing musician gone mostly forgotten in the world, except in
Sweden. But I remember Colin... How could I forget? If it weren't for Colin, that first
time I got... laid, never would have happened. It was his cupid-like heavy-metal Julio
Iglesius/Garth Brooks/4 tenors sound hypnotized both me and my date into a love making
frenzy. I still remember the song... "Honey Honeeeeeeeey..." sigh. The FBI is trying to
keep a lid on Colin, because they realize the incredible influence he has over the youth of
America. Robert and I could tell the audience didn't know what the hell we were talking
about, it was a low swedish turnout. But we both knew his film would correct this
problem.

The movie played and the audience laughed and laughed and laughed. All was as it should
be. Both the films I picked entertained my audiences. The movie plays very well to a
crowd, and I have the feeling could be a cult hit, if given the distribution and the right
marketing campaign. Hollywood Types look for it in LA (Oct. 28 and 29).

Afterwards Bela and I took the stage for the Q & A. This time the audience understood
us. Our pain. Our angst over the tragic loss of Colin Fitz. DON'T LET HIS NAME DIE.
Write it on walls, spray paint it on runaway pets. Colin was here should become the call
of the disenfranchised that watches Sesame Street in the morning!!! We are a strong
counting society of snuffleuppleus lovers unified through the disharmonic melodious
hymns of Colin Fitz. Bela talked about getting the Colin Fitz estate's ok for filming at his
grave site, which was very very touch and go, until Robert channeled Colin's spirit and
slept with his widow. After that all rights were ok-ed.

The film is coming to LA, check it out. I'll try to channel myself so I can talk to you there,
but no promises. I've heard Robert has re-edited the film, and I would appreciate
reviews!!!