Father Geek here with the latest from Downunder... annnnd our man Latauro looks back at the great musicals and the late Donald O’Connor...

Long people have short faces. Short people have long faces. Big people have little humour, and little people have no humour at all.

AICN-DOWNUNDER

If you’re going to go by viewing habits, my childhood can be broken up into easily-definable periods. The Warner Brothers cartoon period, the British science fiction period, and my fondest of all, the Hollywood musical period.

I never got into GREASE or XANADU or, well, anything by Andrew Lloyd Webber. I always looked at people strangely when they listed those when discussing musicals. No, I’m talking about *real* musicals. The ones with Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Frank Sinatra, Danny Kaye, Bing Crosby, Donald O’Connor, Debbie Reynolds, Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Howard Keel, Jean Simmons, Jean Hagen, Cyd Charisse, Oscar Levant, Kathryn Grayson... plus all the people I’m going to remember over the coming week and curse myself for not putting in.

The sheer number of times I watched GUYS AND DOLLS and HIGH SOCIETY... But the film that kicked it off was SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN. My father had bought a copy for a friend’s birthday, only to find out he already had it. Dad told me I’d have to see it, that it was the best film of all time. I gotta say, after a carefully considered hundred-or-so viewings, I’d have to agree.

And it’s amazing, because SINGIN’ contains everything that the worst musical ever made should: the film was written around a bunch of pre-established songs, all of which are diversions and have little or nothing to do with the plot. So why does it work? I don’t know. But I know it’s got a lot to do with Stanley Donen, Gene Kelly and the cast. I mean, if Jean Hagen’s Lina Lamont isn’t one of the best performances in film history, I’ll buy a season pass to “Cats”.

What was my favourite part? Being young when I saw it, my sensibilities leaned towards the silly, and so Donald O’Connor was the funniest thing in pants. Sometimes I wouldn’t watch the film, I’d just fast-forward to the Make ’Em Laugh sequence. That someone could be that funny and do a musical number all at once was the greatest thing ever. It’s probably my favourite ever song sequence.

A few months ago, I went along to see a double of SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN with AN AMERICAN IN PARIS at the Astor Theatre in Melbourne. I’d never had an audience enhance an experience like that before, ever. I’d never seen an audience so collectively in love with a movie as during the SINGIN’ screening. There was spontaneous applause after two numbers: Make ’Em Laugh, and Moses Supposes, the brilliantly irrelevant (and, rhymingly, irrelevant) duet with O’Connor and Kelly.

At the risk of offence, I hope Donald O’Connor doesn’t rest in peace. I hope that wherever he is, he’s happily dancing off walls and jumping onto desks and doing what it is he did best. Make ’em laugh, indeed.

NEWS

BIG RETURN OF THE KING SPOILERS FOLLOW!

IF YOU DO NOT WANT RETURN OF THE KING SPOILED, PLEASE SKIP DIRECTLY TO REGULAR “WHAT’S ON PORN” SECTION!

* Okay, so last week we printed the ROTK running time, which was all cool and funky and quoted in other places. In further conversations with the NZ Spy Network, it became clear that it was the running time *at the moment*. They are still shooting footage for the film, things are still being added. The 3 ½ hour running time is what it is at the moment. But it was made clear that it’s unlikely to be any shorter than that, so our scooper Mr Fusion has done good.

I mention, because Mr Fusion sent in some more info about a sequence that wound up the end of the film (sort-of spoilers coming)............ It seems that Aragorn is to fight Sauron, all dressed up in the armour that we saw Sauron in during the FOTR prologue. Sauron comes out of the Blake Gates, whips the bejesus out of Aragorn, and is about to do him in when Frodo does what he does and saves the day. Now, PJ took some liberties with TWO TOWERS, so I was willing to believe this to be the truth. But just to be on the safe side, I checked with others in the know.

According to regular scooper Johnny Bartlett, that was the case about three years ago (When principle photography ended, by the way!). Johnny mentioned that battle did indeed feature in earlier draft of ROTK, and he assumed that’s the info Mr Fusion is working off of.

Then, information came through from super-spy Dr Lynskey. He tells us that, “Sauron DOES NOT APPEAR IN PHYSICAL FORM at the end of the film”, and goes on to hint that there’s a good chance Aragorn will fight something big at the end... Unfortunately, due to the hippopotamus oath Dr L took when he signed up for fake medical school, he decided not to say what it was that Aragorn fights (considering that piece of information would spoil something that actually *is* in the final film, he opted for “classy”).

So, there you go: a taste of what could have been, and a murky promise of the potential for a fight scene! Who says we don’t deliver?

* Our own Galadrial (Cate Blanchett, if I’m not mistaken) will take on another project in addition to the myriad listed in last week’s AICN-D. Cate will play the lead in Australian film LITTLE FISH, a drama set in Sydney’s Little Saigon. The film will be directed by Aussie Rowan Woods, who won much acclaim and directorial credit with debut feature THE BOYS.

* Local producer Sophie Patrick has optioned the rights to “The Adventures of Luther Arkwright” and sequel “Heart of Empire”, the graphic novels by UK author Bryan Talbot. Patrick plans to make a trilogy based the books, leading those with a base understanding of primary school mathematics to say, “What?”.

AWARDS AND FESTIVALS

2003 SCREEN MUSIC AWARDS

These awards cover (obviously) music composed for feature films, telemovies, mini-series, ads, etc... and we’re all very congratulatory to those who got nominated etc, etc. But the big news is that legendary composer Elmer Bernstein (he of... oh, well, everything) is coming over to guest the fest. Bet you wish you’d got tickets now, right?

OJAI FILM FESTIVAL 2003 + TIBURON INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL 2004

What do these two festivals have in common? Anyone? Yes, they both take place in Southern California. That it? Yes, you in the back. That is correct, they’ve both selected the ABC/FFC documentary OUTBACK OPERA for screening privileges. Those of you in the arse end of California now have no excuse to check out what is easily the best Australian documentary whose acronym is “OO” of the year.

KINGS CROSS ARTS FESTIVAL

Running in Syd-a-ney from October 21 to November 1, the film festival component will feature a mix of old classics to contemporary docos. Not that Sydney doesn’t have an overpopulation of film festivals, but this one’s probably worth attending.

BOX OFFICE

Despite not cracking the top five, Australian flick JAPANESE STORY managed to get the biggest per-screen average in the country, leading us to wonder if it’s playing on more that five screens... (try and see it, it’s damn good) Cody Banks and Reese With Her Spoon failed to make much of an impression, while spots one and two stayed the same.

Now, here's the leaders...

1. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

2. FINDING NEMO

3. LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER – THE CRADLE OF LIFE

4. BAD BOYS II

5. FREAKY FRIDAY

RELEASED THIS WEEK

Ted Turner tries to push himself down several tax brackets, Stephen Norrington tries to explain what’s extraordinary about the ability to white-wash a fence, Noel Gallagher provides insight into his hotel-trashing motivations, Nic Cage goes all Tic Cage, and a film centring around repressed English authors and sexually free French girls manages to get an arthouse release.

Annnnd here they are...

• GODS AND GENERALS
• THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN
• LIVE FOREVER
• MATCHSTICK MEN
• SWIMMING POOL

UPCOMING SEQUEL NEWS

- With the announcement that Ice Cube will star in the XXX sequel, the marketing department behind the Sony Playstation have decided to stay out of the merchandising bidding war

- Following reports that Ben Affleck may be dropped from the next Jack Ryan film, producer Mace Neufeld has decided to again go younger, with Frankie Muniz playing Jack, Macauly Culkin as his wizened mentor, and Anne Archer returning as Ryan’s wife

- Ridley Scott has an idea for GLADIATOR 3, but promises that it won’t have anything to do with the upcoming GLADIATOR 2, claiming, “We assume we’ll want to do something different with the next one”

Peace out,

Latauro

downunder@aintitcoolmail.com