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Strahd says UNDERWORLD was a very disappointing film...

Published at:  Sep 09, 2003 4:51:53 AM CDT

Hey folks, Harry here... Last night I was checking out my DVD of THE VAMPIRE LOVERS... and what a wonderful film that was. It is pre- all this Goth leather and latex stuff... see through sheer gowns... bouncy breasts... girl on girl blood-sucking... genuine atmosphere... No techno music anywhere... Garlic, steaks and decapitations! And female vampire and virginal victim nudity! FVAVVN!!! That's what this film needs... of course, you'd need a more buxom vampire than Kate! Maybe someday when I'm running things... HA!





Hi Harry,
Just saw a private screening of Underworld.

Anyway, onto the movie. I was looking forward to it after viewing the cool trailer. Unfortunately, it's quite a dud. It's extremely heavy handed, the plot is confusing, and the characters unappealing.

The 'plot' revolves around a war between Vampires and Werewolves (or the Lycans), and the Vampires are winning. The Werewolves are trying different means to fight back, and the Vamps discover they're trying to get hold of medical intern Michael, played by the colourless Scott Speedman.

The war isn't fought with claw and fang, as one might expect, but guns, guns and more guns. However, the Vamps don't get to show their teeth much, just relying on firepower. Not even a scene where a human victim cops it. Selene (Kate Beckinsale), a 'death-dealer', is one of the foremost werewolf unters who chances upon the Werewolves plot, and races to reach Speedman before the Lycaens do with the help of her two handguns and later on, silver halide bullets to cunter the Werewolves 'UV gunk'. The rest of the movie is a bunch of unengaging action, more action than horror.

As reflects the Gothic origins, the movie is practically set in darkness. It's either night or underground. Some dashes of colour here and there, most noticeably on Bacardi ads.

And Kate Beckinsale? Unfortunately she lacks screen charisma. She dresses up in leather, wields twin hand guns, but can't compare to Carrie Ann Moss who did it with more style. Speedman is also empty and vacuous, The director paints them in without any personality, and you don't really give a shit whether they die or get blown up. Frankly, the acting veers between two kinds of expression; constipated and extremely constipated.

There's no fun in the movie, not even a good Vampire joke. I left extremely disappointed. It's a film that's going to have one big weekend and fade off quickly because word of mouth about this movie is going to be pretty awful. Yet another victim of the 'great trailer, bad film' syndrome.

The transformation of the Lycans from humans to werewolves is pretty cool, but cool effects don't quite make a movie for me. It's a movie that was probably sold on it's concept, but alas, the execution leaves much to be desired. Worst of all, the ending tries to set up an 'Underworld 2', but may the undead rise before that happens.

Signing off,

Strahd



    + Expand All

    Readers Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 4:57:51 AM CDT

    Can we file this one with XLG?

    by tsunami3g

    Crap! I was really looking forward to this one. :(

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 5:27:25 AM CDT

    I'm dubious about Speedman myself

    by heleno

    But I had hopes for this one damnit! Well, not long to wait till we can all have a look I suppose.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 5:28:43 AM CDT

    "silver halide bullets to cunter the Werewolves UV gunk"

    by call me kenneth

    Sounds like fun to me

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 5:38:26 AM CDT

    "Matrix Undead"

    by uncapie

  • Sep 09, 2003 6:05:56 AM CDT

    Fvahn?

    by psychonaut

    The Times yesterday described this site as "illiterate but influential." Obviously this was before Harry started inventing brand new onomatopoeic words.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 6:30:59 AM CDT

    So it was Almost as bad as T3?

    by fabs

    I remember that having unapealing characters and a poor plot as well.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 6:32:19 AM CDT

    Carrie Ann Moss is HOT !!

    by frank_serpico

    Carrie Ann Moss was hotness redefined in the orignal Matrix but they fucked her character up sooo bad in the sequel . She went from a total bad ass babe to an ice queen who needs Neo to save her ass . and Kate Beckingsale is crap anybody even who remotely likes here needs to see her plank like turn in Pearl Harbour .

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 6:41:41 AM CDT

    the wolf who cried lawsuit

    by septimus_p

    white wolf gaming saw UNDERWORLD and cried "rip-off!"---wonder if it'll delay the film?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 6:57:14 AM CDT

    Point-Cunterpoint

    by splicer

    This is a low budget flick remember. Maybe we should give it a chance?

    Actually, I don'treally think that, I just wanted to use the subject line. Anyone care to cunter?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 7:03:28 AM CDT

    How Sad...

    by karl childers

    and I was looking forward to it.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 7:13:33 AM CDT

    a reviewer who does it right

    by mhw

    Congrats to Mr. S on the review. Keeping it short and not overly critical, even when the film gets ugly, is a skill far to few reviewers on this site have mastered. On top of that not a spelling mistake to be found. And for all those who thought this would be good, why? It seemed to me the only point was to offer insight as to what 'leather/latex combo' goths with jobs would be wearing this fall.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 7:39:47 AM CDT

    Good trailer?

    by the_thin_man

    Hell, if they're going to make a Matrix rip-off, at least don't show the trailer actually IN "The Matrix"! And what was so good about it? All I remember is lots of "Batman and Robin"-style close-ups on massively augmented leather-clad butts. (Come to think of it, do the batsuits have nipples in "Underworld"?) Sorry to be cynical, but as soon as I saw Kate Beckinsale's name on the credits (her action HIGHLIGHT so far is the truly horrific "Pearl Harbour", which is saying a LOT), I thought, "Oh, dear."

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 7:43:59 AM CDT

    Ah, crud.

    by devil'sown

    I was looking forward to this movie. If it was some melodramatic treacle I wasn't interested in seeing, I'm sure it would just own all ass. And White Wolf is suing the filmmakers for ripping off their ideas NOW? How conveeenienent. Couldn't have done it while the movie was in production? I'm sorry. That just doesn't smell right.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 7:47:25 AM CDT

    You Can Cunt On Me

    by angrynortherner

    Fair point - quality review, but I think a few of us noticed a slight spelling mistake... Doesn't bother me, but you did say that was strength.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 7:48:01 AM CDT

    "Some dashes of colour here and there, most noticeably on Bacard

    by buggery buddha

    Damn fine review. Concise, funny, and probably even kind to this derivative piece of shit. Even pre-teen mall goths think this film is wack, as the kids say. Speaking of Blade 2 rip-offs, I read the screenplay and Del Toro(a god among directors, don't get me wrong) left out a bunch of jokes for the sake of atmosphere. That's fine, but there's one that I really missed where Ron Pearlman's character calls Snipes "Count Chocula." I guess they decided it made Blade look stupid. Which, essentially, he is. Goyer's directing and writing Blade 3 though, so I expect more of his jokes will stay in. Look for the one above and, if my guess is right, at least one "Blacula" reference. Okay, I'm rambling. Oh, and one more thing. "Lycans?" Oh, like as in "lycanthrope?" Wow, that's really lame! Thank you.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Wisemen is more of a confidence man than a director. I don't care that he bullshitted his way into an agency deal, but the fact he strapped himself to Beckinsale as a short-term gaurentee for the green-light is deplorable. I'll find it funny when their relationship explodes after this next "Ghost Spy" flotsam they're working on. If Kate is looking for a crystal ball to see where her career is headed, go ask Milla Jovavich (sp), how smart it was hooking up with that fat toad Luc Besson during The Fifth Element. Yeah, that did wonders for both. From epics to commercials...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 8:53:55 AM CDT

    shoot this

    by fullofstars

    The scene where Kate Beckingsale shoots her way through the floor is a direct ripoff from a low budget sci-fi flick that came out in the 80s. I can't remember the name of it but anyway, my question is - is there an original idea left in hollywood? Oh, and as for the actor Scott Spee.... Sorry I nodded off while typing his name. This poor bastard is so damn sleepy, he seems way to tired to act. They should have cast that pimple poppin' pillsbury doughboy Pacy from Dawsons Crack to play a wooden stake in this movie. Now that's perfect casting.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 9:07:28 AM CDT

    FVAVVN is an *acronym*, Sherlock.

    by morty viventi

    Female Vampire And Virginal Victim Nudity.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 9:20:39 AM CDT

    DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by lost skeleton

    I really wanted this to be good. Oh well, looks like Sharon and Dennis in the ole' haunted house on the 19th, or maybe Matchstick Men without the one year later scene (I'll bring my headphones)

    Damn, I wanted Underworld to be good.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 9:28:31 AM CDT

    LATEX

    by thegame

    It's Latex.. Not leather. Does ANYBODY know the f****** difference? Leather doesn't look like PLASTIC. Assclowns.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 9:31:00 AM CDT

    Well, crap...

    by zer0cool2k2

    I really didn't have very high hopes for this one, but I did have the tiniest hope that it would pleasantly surprise me. Beckinsale looks good enough in the leather pants, and I wasn't looking for any dramatic monologues, so I had no problem with her in the lead. I avoid Felicity like the plague, so I have no idea about Speedman. I've always enjoyed the whole "other society" aspect of things like "Kindred" and "Blade", so I'll still go see this hoping there's something in it for me, I just won't hope for greatness.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 9:32:15 AM CDT

    Shooting through the floor.......

    by hunter-x

    That was taken from the movie "Nemesis". Not a bad flick if I remember correctly. Anybody know some sweet Matrix Revolutions details?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 9:35:31 AM CDT

    I don't know...

    by deftone

    I'm not going to not see the damm thing because of one bad review - particularly in light of the fact that I've been interested in it since the trailer came out. There's less and less "new" takes on the vampire myth (despite my love for Buffy/Angel/Blade and my utter and total loathing for Anne Rice) that I'm really looking forward to it.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 9:44:30 AM CDT

    not taking to heart a poorly written review

    by purplemonkeydw

    where's my grain of salt?

    that guy must work in the department of redundancy for redundant redunters in reduntia (close to strongbadia)

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 9:52:34 AM CDT

    FVAVVN!!!

    by rev_skarekroe

    It's got people talking! FVAVVN!!! It's the latest thing! FVAVVN!!! Everybody's doing it! FVAVVN!!! New from Milton Bradley! FVAVVN!!! sk

    Reply to Talkback

  • Seriously......

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 10:22:02 AM CDT

    Lichens

    by sci_fi_wasabe

    Vampires vs fungi...could've been a whole different flick...

    Lichens
    1. A fungus, usually of the class Ascomycetes, that grows symbiotically with algae, resulting in a composite organism that characteristically forms a crustlike or branching growth on rocks or tree trunks.

    2. Pathology. Any of various skin diseases characterized by patchy eruptions of small, firm papules.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 10:29:26 AM CDT

    What did Felicity ever see in Ben anyways?

    by big bad clone

    I'm not gay, but Noel was the guy to go with. Oh, and anything with Kate Beckinsdale already gets my money. I have seen many a crap movie because of her. Curse her and her delictable English accent.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 11:08:54 AM CDT

    Not shocked in the least

    by glass

    This movie is, simply put, garbage, and so is Kate Beckinsale. Don't get me wrong, I WISH Underworld was worth it's weight in celluloid, but it's not. And Beckinsale - where the hell did she come from? I mean, does anyone else remember her horrible turn in that monstrousity of a film, Pearl Harbor? Granted, Ben Affleck has chronic halitosis and was probably drunkenly groping her everytime they hit their trailers, but isn't she supposed to be an actress? The chick looked like she was about to vomit every time she went to kiss him. She's terrible...garbage...embarrassing.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 11:25:31 AM CDT

    Well, shit, and I was looking forward to this film.

    by wardog

    Thanks for the review, Strahd (cool nick, btw.) I thought Underworld has an imaginative, fresh premise, but I now and suspecting that's ALL it has. Well, a ton of atmosphere, costumes and high-tech firearms (oh, and a few blades here and there.) You're right, Strahd, with the mythological fantastic strength vampires are supposed to have, they'd be more than a match for werewolves, but noooo, we have to have guns, guns, GUNS. Or did the vampires decide, once guns were invented, that using silver bullets were more effective or more fun in dispatching werewolves? Or maybe the director or screenwriter or producer decided guns were more economical than faking throats being torn out or heads torn off by the combatants. Hell, I'd bet that's how they did it for centuries in this millennial war. Sheesh. Even Blade II looks good by comparison.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 11:49:21 AM CDT

    I Have Made A Difference - AICN Has Sided With Good

    by devilmusicsucks

    Thank you AICN for standing up against the evils of this world by giving this movie the bad review it deserves. Regardless of whether or not the movie is entertaining the soundtrack to this film takes away any enjoyment that any devout followers of God could have. Now all you guys have to do is stop the Bush bashing and maybe more people with brains will start coming here instead of all of these brainless leftist, hippie, communist, RPG playing, protesting, Bush bashing, pieces of crap. All of you people are going to burn in Hell when the day of reckoning is at hand. So will the people that give money to this soundtrack and movie.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 12:02:53 PM CDT

    Underworld will make it's money back first weekend...

    by damitol

    Underworld only cost $21 million to make, and it will make that easily first weekend, so Underworld 2 is all but a lock. I really liked the poster and fell in love with the teaser, so I'm still going to see it. I guess the reason I'm still holding out hope for this one is (a) I'm not so jaded yet that I'm bored with Matrixy moves and goth Vamps, (b) I understand that this is more of an action film staring Vamps and Werewolves than an attempt at horror and gore and (c) I'd rather watch an ubersexy latex clad Kate B. kick ass than a sweaty, muscle bound Wesley Snipes do the same any day of the week (but hey, to each his own I say). The two reviews I've seen that have been less than glowing only serve to help me temper my expectations a bit. I'm not expecting an instant classic, just a fun movie that will take me to a different world for 90 minutes and will be a good DVD to add to the collection in a few months. And as far as Whitewolf's lawsuit - feh. They need to crack open an Ann Rice book (and probably 100 other titles someone here can name) before they lay claim the idea of vampires, clans or monsters fighting each other.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 12:08:23 PM CDT

    kate beckinsale

    by elviskilledjfk

    my question is... has this woman EVER been in a good movie? because based on the movies I've seen her in (Pearl Harbor and Serendipity) I was kind of expecting this movie to suck. And Scott Speedman? Seriously folks, the trailer might have looked cool (and I'll admit it, I'm going to see this movie) but my expectations for this movie are so low, there's no way i could possibly be disappointed. Why are my expectations low? Because the movie is starring two mediocre actors... the only thing Kate Beckinsale really has going for her is that she's insanely good looking.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 12:10:09 PM CDT

    Devil Music Is On This Movie's Soundtrack

    by devilmusicsucks

    For the people that don't know Danny Lohner is a devil worshiper and he produced the soundtrack to this movie. He's from a band called Nine Inch Nails who hates God and says that he's dead in their songs. Maynard from the bands Tool and A Perfect Circle is on here too and he has songs that make fun of God too. And Skinny Puppy is on here and they kill dogs at their live shows and show videos of people killing other people and suicides. All of these bands are evil and you shouldn't give money to the soundtrack or this movie. I pray for the soul of anyone who decides to watch the movie or listen to the music.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 12:15:12 PM CDT

    kate beckinsale is the hottest actess out there today

    by mcluvin

    she's been in my top 5 since Pearl Harbor

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 12:16:25 PM CDT

    As far as the White Wolf lawsuit goes

    by kent allard

    I'd rather see a Sonja Blue movie written by Nancy Collins than Underworld any day.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 12:24:57 PM CDT

    This movie is the FVAVVN!

    by empyreal0

    It's fvavvn! Fvavvn! It's impossible to pronounce! Everyone loves a fvavvn! Come on and get your fvavvn!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 12:44:00 PM CDT

    Malnourished Infant Dogs

    by s1l1c0n3

    " And Skinny Puppy is on here and they kill dogs at their live shows and show videos of people killing other people and suicides. "

    I'd like to point something out to you spunky. Skinny Puppy was a rabid animal rights band. The animal they "killed" on stage during the VIVIsect VI tour was an animatronic named CHUD.
    It was to illustarate the horrors of vivisection. NOT to highlight it as a fun way to spend the evening.

    Furthermore, the backing video that was shown during the Too Dark Park tour intermixed real footage with scenes from violent horror films in an attemt to show just how much the lines between fantasy and reality had become blurred in modern society (the highlight of it was footage from the legendary Guinea Pig series).

    Before you start spouting out satanic panic with every bit of media that may bend your ideals for morality, you should research them a bit to be certain that your facts are straight.


    Cheers!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 12:55:14 PM CDT

    Take this Review with a Grain of Salt

    by biglawdog1

    Ive read 4 writeups, not including this one, and all of them gave it good reviews. Specifically, I've read Beckinsale is very good, Speedman is average and the effects are not quite on par with the Matrix but look good in their own right.

    Honestly, this movie is a scifi/horror geeks wet dream so don't let a bad review scare you off from going to see it. If nothing else, you'll be able to judge for yourself and at the same time, give Hollywood notice that making a flick that caters to the scifi/horror crowd can make good bank and they should consider making more.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 1:14:59 PM CDT

    Nice try, Mcluvin

    by glass

    Amateur...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 1:21:27 PM CDT

    You're A Liar, s1l1c0n3

    by devilmusicsucks

    That's the story all satanists use to cover up the truth. Skinny Puppy promotes murder and satanism. They have 666 on one of their albums as well. And they had inverted pentagrams during their background videos at their 2000 show. The also use quotes from Charles Manson in one of their songs.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 1:29:59 PM CDT

    Nice try, Devilmusic

    by davros

    Your fake persona almost believable, but just a tad over the top. Most religious nut jobs try to reach out to people in these forums, as if they are lost lambs. You are missing that essential ingredient. Sorry, better luck next time.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 1:36:54 PM CDT

    Scott Speedman LOOKS dumb.

    by mosquito march

    In fact, he may have the single dopiest face in the business. And because of that, I just can't take the guy seriously. Every time I see him in something, I just start laughing. Especially when he has long hair. He looks like a baby animal, or something. As for Kate Beckinsale, she's on the bland side of being pretty. If you encountered her on the street, she'd probably be one of the hottest women you've ever met, but in the movies, she's pretty mediocre. She's like a low rent Nicole Kidman. And, I'm not thrilled about her playing Ava Gardner in THE AVIATOR, either. So far, she doesn't seem to have an ounce of the smoldering, earthy sex appeal that Gardner possessed.

    Reply to Talkback

  • GO SEE IT ANYWAY!! Don't let one person's dislike of the film keep you from seeing it. No critic is an absolute authority on what makes a film good or great, so why hold so much stock in this guy's word? If you see it and you think it's bad, fine. But don't read this guys, frankly cookie-cutter review and take his word as fact. Dude can't even give us a real summary of what the film's about, and only talks about the two main actors. No comments whatsoever on the supporting cast, nothing really all that detailed about the action scenes. All he does for about three paragraphs is say "it's bad" three different ways. If you wanted to see the movie, see the damn movie.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 1:48:43 PM CDT

    Please Give Your Heart To Jesus, Davros!

    by devilmusicsucks

    Or you will burn in hell for eternity. Please, don't buy this album or watch this movie. All of your funds are going to Satan and I don't want you to burn in Hell. I really am reaching out to try to help you people. I really am. But obviously it isn't working. I'll pray to God for your forgiveness though and hope you people will change your ways. Oh yeah, and if you don't believe that Skinny Puppy is an evil demonic band then you've obviously never gone to the forums at Litany.net There are devil worshipers, D&D players, homosexuals, and communist leftists there and they will cuss you out and threaten to kill you for spreading God's word. It I a horrible place to which noone should venture. And I believe that Satan himself resides in those forums under the guise of BulletTongue. He must be the dark one for he is the most despical character I have ever had the displeasure of speaking to. The horrible acts of sexual depravity that he spoke of that he wanted to do to Jesus himself was one of the sickest most horrifying things I have ever read and I will never venture there again. It is a lost cause.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 2:07:21 PM CDT

    Beckinsale

    by mafu

    Like most people here, I'm disappointed to hear such a bad review of "Underworld." Fuck. That said, I still dig Beckinsale. A few people have mentioned her mannequin-like performance in "Pearl Harbor," and, from what I've heard, I'd tend to agree. That said, I would encourage anyone to see "Laurel Canyon," a film in which she plays a geeky geneticist working toward her master's degree. Her character has a pulse, and Beckinsale delivers a more than adequate performance. The movie also stars Christian Bale and Natascha McElhone (the woman from "Solaris"), so there's a lot of pulchritude to go around. The movie might change your opinion of Beckinsale. Peace, out.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 2:18:10 PM CDT

    Crappy Summer Movies (Definitive List)

    by alwaysthere

    Hulk
    From Justin to Kelly
    Reloaded
    Gigli
    T3
    Spy Kids 3D: Game Over
    2 Fast 2 Furious
    The Italian Job
    Hollywood Homicide
    Dumb and Dumberer
    Marci X

    Hollywood has lost it God Damn mind. Look at all that crap that was releasd.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 2:29:50 PM CDT

    I'm getting pretty sick of

    by lewiswetzel

    cool, gun-wielding, kung-fu vampires. What happened to the time when they were horrific bipedal leeches cursed with an eternal nightmare existence? What was the last vampire movie that was actually SCARY?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 3:11:28 PM CDT

    It looked like crap from day one...

    by fabfunk

    BRING ME DEVIL MUSIC!!! I GIVE MY SOUL TO CROTCH THROBBING DEVIL MUSIC!!! Oh, and MOULIN ROGUE and BATMAN AND ROBIN are the same movie!!!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 3:35:37 PM CDT

    Underquinlan

    by hank quinlan

    Ummm...yeah. The film is medicocre? SSSSSShocking! Who thought it would be so amazing from that trailer? It's geeky rehash of stuff from the last ten years. Blade, the Matrix, Buffy, even Nemisis. Ther blue look, the leather, sorry latex. Hey and how about beckinsales totally weak looking jump from the ledge. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Hopefully it will be an okay way to kill 2 hours. But what did anyone expect? Hey and how about beckinsales totally weak looking jump from the ledge. But hey, whatever right? And someone on here HATES the director. Which is fine. I am sure he is a Ratner style Hollywood player. But it's worth it to bone Beckinsale. Guys...cast the British and European chicks...they wanna fuck the director. American actresses want movie stars and rock stars. I actually think this movie might do well. It's gonna be a lame fall.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 3:58:34 PM CDT

    another note on Beckinsale

    by kenkrk

    "Carrie Anne Moss is a good actress, but Beckinsale has a huge body of work, pre-Pearl Harbor that more than shows she has screen presence."

    I'd suggest seeing Shooting Fish, as well. She was very good in that as well. Not to mention Brokedown Palace, very believable.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 4:04:32 PM CDT

    DevilMusic should see my movie

    by zombiechrist

    Check out zombiechrist.com. Let me know what you think.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 4:36:39 PM CDT

    My Good/Bad Review of "Underworld"

    by citizenv

    The Good:
    -"Vampires vs. Werewolves in a age-old war" overall a clever concept with an semi-interesting twist connecting the origin of werewolves and vampires
    -Bill Nighy's performance as Viktor
    -The way Selene, Kate Beckinsale's character, executes her final kill looked damn slick
    -The look of the film is pretty impressive considering the relatively low budget ($21 mil?) for a supernatural action flick

    The Bad:
    -Absolutely no chemistry between Beckinsale and Speedman
    -Takes WAY too long to get the audience up to speed as to why the two sides are fighting this war
    -Crapload of eye-rollingly-bad lines of dialogue delivered poorly throughout the film
    -That is NOT what I would think a vampire/werewolf hybrid would look like...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 4:52:55 PM CDT

    I don't know, Ken KrK, I usually take every review with a grain

    by lost skeleton

    ...I have been hearing TONS of bad reviews about this one. I will probably still see it if Cold Creek Manor looks like a stinker. Usually, the reviews on AICN (minus bias fat red-head) and on CHUD are pretty dead-on. We'll see. I will wait another week to see if the tide turns.

    Oh, and Always There...take Hulk, Reloaded and Italin Job off your list and maybe I will agree with you.

    Revolutions will kick your ass on November 5th!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 4:54:02 PM CDT

    I was looking forward to it as well................

    by wyrdy the gerbil

  • Sep 09, 2003 5:12:02 PM CDT

    Albert Pyun wants his "shoot thru the floor" gag back!!

    by wesley snipes

    Albert Pyun is a fucking inspiration. He truly is the very definition of "if you want something bad enough and work hard enough at it, you'll achieve your goals." The guy makes literally some of the worst films on the planet yet he has managed to work steadily for over a decade while far more talented people have come and gone. And now, he can even claim the notoriety of having been ripped off wholesale by a big studio action picture. Remember that kids: If you have enough moxie and grit, you don't even need that much talent in your chosen vocation to succeed.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 6:22:19 PM CDT

    all hail The Beachboys! godfathers of "devil music"

    by elviskilledjfk

    So if a band uses Charles Manson quotes/lyrics, they're evil? What about the Beach Boys? That kooky guy Charlie Manson and those fun lovin' Beach Boys knew each other (one of them actually let Manson live in his home and gave Manson and his followers loads o cash) and they took songs written by Manson (slightly changing the lyrics). I say the Beach Boys are the pinultimate satanic band... they make Slayer look like silly, amateur, satan worshipping wannabes! Anyway, last time I checked, listening to "heavy metal" aka "Devil Music" is NOT a sin, and won't damn your soul for all eternity. And who knows, maybe these bands that say "God is Dead" are just being pretentious Nietzche fans using it, not as a way of showing that they're Satan worshippers (besides, saying GOD IS DEAD, is more an atheistic comment than a Satanic one) but rather as a commentary on the state of religion in the modern age as Nietzche was doing. Oh well... it's always pointless trying to argue with religious fanatics anyway.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 6:32:07 PM CDT

    Underwearwolfworld!

    by scarymonkey

    Okay, first off, *I* have wanted to knock boots with Beckinsale ever since Cold Comfort Farm (plus she actually shows her purtty li'l boobies in this one truly dreadful ghost movie which title I cannot remember but it had John Gielgud in it. No shit!) Also, me gusta mucho la Gothica! It was such an integral part my adolescence (what with the black trenchcoats and the eye liner and clove cigarettes, but not NIN because they hadn't released any albums yet. Christ! I'm old!). Any movie that captures the feeling of those heady days when I would gladly have thrown away my heterosexuality for an evening's worth of hedonism with Brandon Lee MUST be given a chance. Even if it fails miserably (as it has an all-too-good a chance of doing), the effort and $10 shall have been worthwhile. And, BTW, fuck White Wolf! They had chance to put their prodcut on film and all we wound up with was Kindred: the Embraced which was the biggest, stinkiest ass-twinkie to ever offend the preternatural senses of vampiredom.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 6:54:09 PM CDT

    Let's just watch trailers for 2 hours!

    by rapunzel

    I LOVE trailers because they almost always ARE better than the film - so basically, it's just watching the best parts of the film in a rush that gives you chills. When a film actually kicks its trailers ass, THAT's when you know that you've got a good film on your hands.

    Reply to Talkback

  • The good: very cool imagery which has allowed them to cut a great trailer and make a cool poster. These two factors alone should ensure a solid opening weekend. The bad: Kate Beckinsale is no Carrie-Anne Moss -- she looks totally fragile and unathletic during the action scenes. The dialogue is awful and so are most of the performances. The director shows promise for a first-timer, but has bitten off more than he can chew here. Not since the A-Team have you seen so many people firing automatic weapons at each other at such close range and never hitting their mark. And (SPOILER ALERT -- although somebody else already mentioned it): the whole second half of the movie is a build up to Scott Speedman becoming the "all-powerful" werewolf/vampire hybrid -- but what's so powerful about him? After all that build up he pretty much gets his ass kicked by a regular vampire. (END SPOILER) Anyway, I'm not going to discourage anyone from seeing this film, but I will say don't get your hopes up. You'll most likely be sorely disappointed.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 7:28:41 PM CDT

    Screw White Wolf, screw Razor Blade Smile..

    by justinsane

    ...and screw this movie.

    Admit it, vampires are SO OVER.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 7:41:38 PM CDT

    WHAT? How can it suck? It has VAMPIRES and WEREWOLVES in it!!??

    by darth phallus

    Damn if only this movie could've been mixed with RELOADED it would've been perfect, eh Harry?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 7:56:57 PM CDT

    I'd rather see Cold Creek Manor.

    by industrysources

    At least that looks like an intelligent film. And with Mike Figgis behind it, you know it will be interesting and different.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 8:02:21 PM CDT

    Heh

    by xyber_hex

    Carrie Anne Moss...style?
    She has the charisma of a box of rocks and her style doesn't even reach that.
    Reloaded a good movie? Stop..please...it hurts.

    Underworld may not be an award winner, but it was a fun ride.
    God's teeth, some of the people that review things on here , I do not understand how they even have the brain power to use a keyboard.
    I enjoyed the sneak preview and will see it again a few times.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 8:08:36 PM CDT

    Bandwagon IS Alive and Well

    by revenge2003

    Gee, I have never seen so many people so ready to jump on a bandwagon in all my life. One would never know others have given positive reviews for this movie. A message I posted earlier giving links to other sites has mysterious disappeared...hmmmmm. Well, I'll try again. For positive reviews of this movie, check out Jo Blo's site, Empire Movies, and the site for this movie on the Toronto International Film Festival site. Also, keep your eyes posted on the Rotten Tomatoes site.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 9:03:23 PM CDT

    lynxpro

    by mosquito march

    God, I can't believe somebody else has seen RAZORBLADE SMILE. What a dreadful movie that was. It was so bad, I almost couldn't even laugh at it. However, I still, to this day, crack up when I think about the lead villain's pompous-yet-mush-mouthed delivery of the phrase "stock options." Thanks to the cheap false teeth, it came out as "sssstuck upp-chins."

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 11:46:39 PM CDT

    hmm

    by thingsthattimdog

    This movie fails with both vampires and werewolves in it? Guess they couldnt fit a dead raped deer carcass into any scene...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 1:28:46 AM CDT

    At first, I liked the idea...

    by pseudonym420

    The trailer didn't look too bad on first viewing. With every subsequent viewing, I've grown more and more apathetic towards this one. Looks like the next Queen of the Damned to me. Oh, yeah... HAIL SATAN!!!!! "LET JESUS FUCK YOU!!! LET JESUS FUCK YOU!!" EVIL!!! EVIL!!! Fundamentalist bible thumpers piss me off almost as much as Bush supporters and Ann Coulter. Long live the DEVIL'S MUSIC (Rock and roll!!)

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 5:13:56 AM CDT

    Great trailer my arse.

    by theginger twit

  • Sep 10, 2003 5:36:51 AM CDT

    bollox

    by puddlefish

    first of all, do you people really believe that the 'matrix look' was invented by the matrix. people in long leather coats, sun glasses and handguns. hmmm... very original.

    second, didn't a single goddamn reviewer on this site go to school. this is a dreaful review. this guy can't construct a decent sentance, and no one seems to know anything about grammer. these are the people we're trusting to write reviews?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 10:07:18 AM CDT

    Am I the only one that can actually see where they erased the wi

    by mr. profit

    When she lands you see her back jerk back. Poor mans Blade indeed.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 10:47:35 AM CDT

    Puddlefish Puddlefish Puddlefish

    by barney hood

    It's no good bemoaning our reviewers bad schooling, then filling your talkback with spelling mistakes - it is sentence, and grammar.

    That said I agree with your remarks regarding the Matrix and originality - I remember that bullet time effect from Blade, and recently I believe Mr Willis shot Chris through the floor in The Fifth Element....there again...what does it matter!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 10:51:40 AM CDT

    "So this zealot comes to my door..."

    by mad_radhu

    "...All glazed eyes and clean reproductive organs, asking me if I ever think about God. So I tell him I killed God. I tracked God down like a rabid dog, hacked off his legs witha hedge trimmer, raped him with a corcob and boiled off his corpse in an acid bath. So he pulls an alternating-current taser on me and tells me that only the Official Serbian Church of Tesla can save my ployphase intrinsic electric field, known to non-engineers as the 'soul'. So I hit him. What would you do?" Five points to your house for telling me what comic this quote comes from.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 10:57:16 AM CDT

    The problem with God:

    by mad_radhu

    "God is not interested in technology... He knows nothing of the potential of the micro-chip or the silicon revolution. He's obsessed with making the grass grow and getting rainbows right... Look at what he spends his time on. 43 species of parrot! Nipples for men! Slugs! HE created slugs! They can't hear. They can't speak. They can't operate machinery. Are we not in the hands of a lunatic?!"

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 12:18:08 PM CDT

    WHITE WOLF SUES SONY? Pfew.

    by bradbury

    WW sues Sony? Of course.

    It's like this:

    There isn't a big budget flick that comes out that doesn't draw some parasite to it claiming original authorship. There are attornies who specialize in this sort of thing. The cases are almost universally settled by the studios because it's easier to just throw a little money at an asshole than to actually have to go to the trouble of dealing with him.

    WW knows this. They might win, valid case or not, simply because Sony doesn't want to bother.

    WW also knows the value of publicity. There's a reason they actually issued a press release about the suit. In basic terms, why is it essential that the press get hold of the story? Certainly not from a legal standpoint. Publicity. Say it again, with the iron tang of drool in your mouth: publicity. People who might never have heard of WW otherwise will because of this.

    More importantly, WW also wins by associating their games with the movie, whether they win the case or settle or not. People who see the movie and want to play a RPG that gives them the same feel are being told, in bright press release letters, "OUR GAMES ARE LIKE THIS!" If the movie is a hit, and people associate it, rightly or wrongly, with their games, they be mucho happies.

    The timing of the case indicates they wanted the news to hit just as the flick came out, thereby seeking synergy that'll further the association.

    The case itself looks spurious. If I were on the defensive team, I'd make part of the case on the fact that nearly everything WW has done is in some way derivative (note I did say nearly). They've generally taken the raw matter of other people's tropes and mixed them into a complex, interesting, fun brew. Any gamer with some sense of cultural history and the ability to do research could mine tons of derivation out of WW's games, much of it starker and more blatant than that they're accusing Sony of.

    WW doesn't generally have a care about other people's IP either. I can think of several instances where the company has used nearly identical pastiche art of other people's previous work, whether it be the Corax in RAGE who looks pretty much 101% like the Crow, or, worse, the Arcadia or Rage card (can't recall which, think it was Rage) that used Klempt's "Kiss," known from college dorm walls all over the land, attributed to some lazy ass artist who ripped off Klempt and got a check from WW. There's a pic in the first edition of Mage of a guy in a hotel room, floating at the ceiling with his head breaking through it like it's the surface of water and he's submerged. This was nearly a stroke by stroke rip off of a painting (a cool painting) that was used both on a Scorpions album cover and on a Mongo mystery novel by George Chesbro. There's been a lot of this stuff over the years, and I actually talked to Rich Thomas, the art boss at WW, about this very thing once. He's not a stupid man, he knows art, and he knows when they use something like this. His whole attitude was that he really didn't give a shit.

    And how about song quotes? Sure, you can quote a bit of text from a fictional work within the boundaries of fair use, but songs are diferent. If you use a bit of published song in your published work, you are supposed to seek clearance from and pay a fee to the entity owning the rights to that song. Take a look in the front of Cujo by Steve King some time: there's a huge list of song clearances for the quotes used in that book, and not only are the rights holders acknowledged, they were paid.

    WW just puts quotes in and that's that. They're lucky they haven't been kicked in the nuts by ASCAP.

    If they settle or win, WW gets a boost to their profits (just like those parasites suing in Hollywood) and maybe even gets a nod in the revised credits of the film, bringing us back to association. If they lose, they still managed to get some publicity and associate what may be a hit movie with their games.

    I don't think they're worried about losing. I think they figure Sony will settle, and they're probably right.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 1:28:19 PM CDT

    music info

    by xyzan

    thanks to the two posters who sent me the information to my question from the other talkback. i can't wait for this film.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 2:40:34 PM CDT

    lawsuit

    by integra

    Outlaw-moon. Not to mention, you cant copyright a concept. If there is a suit, id rather see Sony fight it. Story elements arent protectable under 106.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 6:11:23 PM CDT

    WORST MOVIE EVER

    by jog_lola_jog

    Hey, let's get the guy from Felicity to play a wolf and the girl from Serendipity to play a Vampire and they can spend the movie biting each other. Bet you ten bucks that when this turd makes 5 million first weekend and is gone from theaters in three weeks tops, White Wolf drops their lawsuit and pretends that they never even heard of Underworld. Let the producers of this gem get the virus from Cabin Fever and fester away into the ether.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 9:25:48 PM CDT

    Funding Satan?

    by yossarian

    What would Satan need with funds?*** I agree with the above poster. When church-affiliated recruiting personnel show up at my door, I am very polite and sincere. I listen to their views then I ask them to listen to some of mine. I am a medical student but my background is biochemistry and everything I know forces me to believe firmly in evolution. So I give them my gospel: a primer on evolution, what its actual tenets are and how it works, how evolution has been falsely portrayed in the media, and finally I broach the subject of how man is not descended from monkeys, that we each are descendants of a common ancestor, just as a welsh corgi shares ancestors with a bull mastiff and a chihuahua. I ask them how their religion incorporates the very real concept of evolution and if their particular sect disavows it, I just let them know that I cannot reconcile my beliefs to fit theirs. The surprising thing is polite and understanding most of them are. I believe that most religious people are sincerely good at heart, if a little misguided sometimes by the machinations of others. So lets not knock devilmusicsucks too harshly, besides I suspect he's really just having a bit of fun at the expense of some of you.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 9:40:12 PM CDT

    Shooting thru the floor rip-off...

    by johnny ahab

    No, I didn't see NEMESIS, but the same bit was used in the recent werewolf movie DOG SOLDIERS (which I enjoyed). And now it gets employed again two years later in another werewolf movie -- and in the trailer, like it's something wildly cool and original. Won't be seeing this.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 10:11:16 PM CDT

    Eons of evolution, millenia of cultural development, centuries o

    by devil'sown

    ... have brought us to this- AICN. Y'know, I have come to regard this site above all others as a place a movie lover can go and get exclusive information and, perhaps, connect with kindred spirits. Sometimes, it's rewarding. Other times, some 'o these Rhodes scholars at the talkback really piss me off. I'm discouraged by these advance reviews of what I was hoping would be the best non-franchise movie of the year. So it rrreally makes my brown eyes blue when these whizkids come here and basically revel in the time-honored Anglo-Saxon concept of "I told you so" with all the charm of a dog rolling in a pile of deershit. Well, kiss my ruddy bum. To further compound my ire, I see devilmusicsucks posting here. Maaan. Look. If you're for real, your ignorance saddens me profoundly. If, however, you're engaging in whatever passes for fun on your planet, you ratfuck-sonuvabitch, pray that karma is only wishful thinking. I have no excuses. Fundamentalist Christians have always freaked me out, ever since I saw CARRIE as a wee lad. But, even slow, old me started having my suspicions when you became increasingly abusive. Even the most hardcore biblethumpers I've seen are aware of the world at large, and only the most extreme hippocrits are that un-pc. I thought "What's he gonna do next- call someone a homo?!" And sure enough, you did. Either you've got some absurd notions of how to get your kicks, or you need to realize, in the cold, gray light of dawn, our human "morality" is a wispy tissue of arbitrary principle, that is easily cast aside when inconvenient. Why should you expect more from other people than you expect from yourself?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 10:15:54 PM CDT

    Yossarian...

    by devil'sown

    Let's see how fucking cavalier and cerebral you are when you're made to feel like the butt of some ass clown's little "joke".

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 10:17:43 PM CDT

    dumb

    by bigpotatogirl

    Im sorry but dumb nurse from Pearl Harbour + dumb felicity's boyfriend make a dumb movie, besides am I the only one here getting really tired of the wire-fu?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 10:37:26 PM CDT

    No, you are not alone BIGPOTATOGIRL.

    by devil'sown

    Not to sound all jaded like an uncomfartable majority of fans, but wire-fu is too tired. Hollywood needs to find another filmaking gimmick to latch on to.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 10:49:13 PM CDT

    In all this smugness, I forgot...

    by devil'sown

    To give a shoutout to Gollum for saying what I've thought for a while now. Decent horror films are so scarce nowadays. It's a damn shame and I wonder if we'll ever see a real horror renaissance, instead of just mainstream movies that happen to have some "spooky" elements.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 11:42:53 PM CDT

    Devil's Own: Wire-fu isn't the most insidious Hollywood gimmick.

    by mosquito march

    ....the most insidious Hollywood gimmick which needs to go away - FAST - is that 45-degree shutter angle thing that's been used in every action scene since SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (though I think G.I. JANE did it first). That thing has been the bane of my movie-going experience nigh on five years, now. And they just keep doing it, over and over and over again, in every single fight sequence. In SPR, it made sense - Spielberg wanted it to look strobe-like, like newsreel footage. It had no place in fucking GLADIATOR, no place in HANNIBAL. They even used it in CHICAGO! I fucking HATE it.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 11, 2003 9:33:57 AM CDT

    I hear ya MM.

    by devil'sown

    As you said, that kinda thing was justified in Ryan, but to see it used in a variety of other films is just headache-inducing. I don't pretend to be an expert in the art of filmmaking, but eventually we're all like, "Yeah, seen that toy before. Now could we just get back to the frickin' story?" Still, there's some fun to be had in seeing what whiz-bang trick the sheep will glom on to next.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 20, 2003 1:57:16 AM CDT

    Underworld Kicks Butt... A dissenting opinion

    by gatorman4017

    Ok, I thought that I was cynical about action/horror movies, but you guys take the cake. So what if it's a little derivative (in terms of action sequences). Does every movie have to reinvent the wheel? Yes the storyline was complex, but not incomprehensible. The action sequences were stunning and actually made sense in the context of the movie. The character development was fine for what it was...a cool action flick. Go rent Shadowlands if you want a character study. And honestly, it was refreshing to see a movie deal with it's ultraviolence in a more serious tone (i.e. without the stupid groan-inducing one liners and quips). It wasn't perfect, but it was the first movie I've seen in a long time that I felt was worth 8 bucks. Oh, and Kate B in leather...Hot. Don't listen to the bitchy Matrix purists...This movie kicks ass.

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