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Herc

Published at:  Sep 09, 2003 2:19:27 AM CDT

SPOILER ALERT !!

I am – Hercules!!

If this is not the worst show of the season, I believe I’ll be reviewing mostly comic books this year. Even leaving aside its star’s considerable and well-documented limitations, “Whoopi” remains jaw-droppingly awful.

But by all means, give “Whoopi” a gander. You’ll know by the first minute of the teaser just how determinedly you will be driven to avoid it henceforth. “Whoopi” traffics in jokes that were threadbare and hackneyed when the Ritz Bros. were tots. A sample of said teaser:


  • NASIM THE HANDYMAN: When are you leaving?
  • MAVIS’ OFFICIOUS ATTORNEY BROTHER, COURTNEY: I won’t be here long, because today I have an interview with none other than Abrams & Marshall.
  • MAVIS THE HOTEL OWNER: Abrams & Marshall! Get out of here! Oh my God! Did you hear that, Nasim? He just got an interview with Abrams & Marshall! Oh my God!! Abrams & Marshall!!
  • COURTNEY: You’ve heard of them?
  • MAVIS & NASIM (in unison): No.
  • MAVIS: Listen, you did remember to take Enron off of your resume, right?
  • COURTNEY: I can’t. How will I explain where I’ve been for he last five years?
  • MAVIS: Just tell ‘em you have amnesia! That’s what they do on “Days of Our Lives”!


In the argot of the Continental, “Wowee wowee wow wow!” This show will not only tank, it may take every other laugh-track and studio-audience sitcom with it!

How does it end, spoiler-boy?


“You BETTER get little Eminem sister and get out of my face?”

Herc’s rating for “Whoopi” 1.1?


*



The Hercules T. Strong Rating System:


  • ***** better than we deserve
  • **** better than most motion pictures
  • *** actually worth your valuable time
  • ** as horrible as most stuff on TV
  • * makes you quietly pray for bulletins


Now? More opinions, on both “Whoopi” and its new companion show, “Happy Family”:

Whoopi

Will it survive to 1.4? It’s from the folks who bring you “3rd Rock From the Sun,” “That ‘70s Show,” “That ‘80s Show” and “Normal, Ohio”!

The Hollywood Reporter says:



”frustratingly unfunny … How can a show with 16 executive producers, co-executive producers, producers and supervising producers fall so flat? … Part of the problem is the frequent limp gags and the scenes that are either too shrill or too predictable. Part of the problem is an overreliance on the running gag in which Nasim continues to take offense because he is a Persian, not Arab. And part of the problem is an inability to precisely define the characters.

Variety says:



“… a winner straight out of the gate, loaded with humor that should have the PC police getting their handcuffs ready. … “

Entertainment Weekly says:



“Is it possible for a series to jump the shark in its very first episode? … With her grumpy insouciance, Whoopi seems to be channeling Redd Foxx, but the sitcom is less like Sandford and Son than a low-rent Fawlty Towers.”

Coax contributor “Missy” had this to say July 8:

“… the WORST show that will be on television this decade … This is the type of show that people of all colors, creeds, and classes can hate together … By the end of the half hour I was already tired of these people. I can’t imagine watching them and their adventures week after week. … If it lasts more than 3 episodes I’ll be shocked and pretty depressed.

8 p.m. Tuesday. NBC.

Happy Family

The second leads from the sitcoms “Night Court” and “Cybill” get their own show, from some latter-day “Just Shoot Me” writer-producers.

The Hollywood Reporter says:



”… it's hard not to like and root for ‘Happy Family.’ … there is a nice balance to the oddball situations, resulting in a comedy that is fluid and funny. … To some extent, the above-average writing and solid comic delivery mask what may be the show's greatest weakness, a seeming lack of strong chemistry between the co-stars.

Variety says:



“Pilot stumbles early and often, but there's some redemption in the second episode as the Brennan family - likable people who do stupid things - gains focus. … While not a laugh riot out of the box, series will either sink or swim by bringing greater definition to the parental roles. There's deviousness lurking, and should it manifest in later scripts, "Family" may be onto something.”

Entertainment Weekly says:



“The two talented stars know how to make something funny, but they’re stuck in a show that de-emphasizes them in favor of their less appearling costars.”

8:30 p.m. Tuesday. NBC.

I am – Hercules!!










    + Expand All

    Readers Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 2:26:04 AM CDT

    Don't want to be first, but

    by wolfman911

    This show, in it's "attempt" to show how everyone from all races and creeds and genders can all fit together, may just unite us after all. In our utter and absolute hatred at something so vile and lothesome. Have I seen it yet? No. Will I? NO. Why? Have you seen the damn commercials???? "'Nuff said."

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 2:39:31 AM CDT

    I look forward to the racist jokes in that show...the media reac

    by aceattorney

  • Sep 09, 2003 2:53:42 AM CDT

    Wouldn't it be wonderful if...

    by harry weinstein

    it really DID take the whole godawful laugh-track and studio-audience sitcom genre down with it? We, of course, will not be this lucky.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Whoopi was so great in "The Color Purple". What happened?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 7:32:59 AM CDT

    Hmph.

    by radio1_mike

    Whoopi's new show seems like a show Fox would have had on in the very early '90s. Which is too bad, Whoopi can be funny. I hope the John Larroquette and Christine Baranski show does okay- they are too talented not to have on the tube.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 7:37:03 AM CDT

    Whoopi, Whoopi, Whoopi

    by eau hellz gnaw

    She was a pretty sharp stand up comedian in her early days. I saw it coming, though. It happens to pretty much every comedian whose humor is heavily dependent on their fringe status. They become mainstream, their humor becomes less edgy, and eventually they just cash huge checks to play the hackneyed characters they used to mock.

    At one time, she looked like she had the chops to be a good character actress, but I think she preferred to take starring roles in trash. Just look at her resume. It's probably even worse than Eddie Murphy's post-80s. SHe tries to do serious roles every now and then (always playing a wise, motherly figure of some sort...wow, what a surprise!), but it's just not the same.

    Anyway, I'd watch "Homeboys In Outer Space" before I'd watch this piece of shit.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 7:57:18 AM CDT

    No heart at all

    by kingofthefools

    After watching the commercials for this show which I don't think will last half as long as any of the George/Kramer/Elaine post-Seinfeld sitcoms, it just doesn't seem like Whoopi is putting any heart into this at all. It seems like she's going thru the motions or just doing a favor for a friend. Is NBC so desperate for shows they hope will pick up the mantle for (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET THIS BE THE LAST SEASON FOR) Friends they're just throwing anything and everything out there in hopes that something'll catch on? I think crappy sitcoms like this is the reason reality TV (Which I'm a fan of certain reality shows...but not many) is as popular as it is. Aren't there any good sitcom writers out there any more?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 8:53:24 AM CDT

    Just goes to show you

    by haildahypnotoad

    The best supporting actor(actress) OSCAR is the kiss of death for your career. (See Cuba Gooding, Jr.)

    ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!!1

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 9:20:21 AM CDT

    Of course it sucks -- It's WHOOPI!

    by spyguy

    C'mon, has she done anything funny since SISTER ACT? SOUTH PARK nailed her pretty good a while back with her constant repetition of "Republicans are stupid...I hate Republicans." If she has anything else to say, let me know. Otherwise, it's time to send her, Billy Crystal and Robin Williams to the Old Irrelevant Comedians Home...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Please excuse me for a second whilst I add something astonishingly pretentious: sometimes these TV execs remind me of Frazer's descriptions of primitive peoples in The Golden Bough. Frazer posited that societies went through three stages: magic, religion and science. In the magic phase, people sought to control the world around them through mistaken associations between cause and effect. For example, believing that a sympathetic link remained between a person and a part of their body (eg - some hair) after that part became separated, they sought to influence the person by acting upon the hair. Similarly, TV execs appear to believe that the success of Roseanne was due to the name of the show being the same as the first name of its star. Therefore, they created Sybill, Jenny and countless other dire pieces of shit, and now they have created Whoopi. I can just picture those execs around their table scratching their heads going "I don't understand. It's called Whoopi and the star is called Whoopi. Why isn't it funny?" They then proceed to try and find the answer by examining the entrails of a disembowelled goat.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 10:05:09 AM CDT

    This woman is so annoyingly self-righteous...

    by stephen dedalus

    ...and I agree with most of her views! I can't stand it when a comedian lectures me or yells at me, and Goldberg's constant smugness makes me want to throw something through the TV.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 10:12:40 AM CDT

    No one yet has pointed out that Happy Family also stars that shr

    by big bad clone

    This hour on NBC will be canceled fast and replaced by the new Newlywed Game and Gong Show. No, seriously. If this shows don't bring descent ratings, that is what NBC will do. I have a feeling I'll be watching a lot of cable.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 10:18:28 AM CDT

    All in the Family did it the best

    by terry_1978

    That show would never fly today, which is a shame because it's so needed especially in our current state.

    Reply to Talkback

  • A fat, 8-year old racist is easier to laugh at these days than Guinan as a racist.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 10:47:23 AM CDT

    Fred

    by big bad clone

    Whoa, whoa. I never said I'd never do her. She is a hottie, I just don't need to hear her talk.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 10:59:33 AM CDT

    Herc hates it because he is a Republican

    by alvinsimadeer

    He can't Bush and his neocon admin to be attacked...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Yeah, it was dubbed and edited and panned and scanned, but I don't care. I needed to see that damn 24 preview. And I'm sorry, but it looks like something's off this time around. Glad to see Kate Warner gone ("WHAT'S GOING ON?!?") but sad to see idiot Kim still lurking about. Also too bad they had to spill the beans about President Palmer's survival. Finally, if they HAD to give Jack a junior partner, why didn't they keep the Saudi Intelligence Againt alive instead of sticking him with some boy band dickhead who's only around to impregnate Kim and die before episode six? *** ON TOPIC B.S.: Whoopi will suck. Baranski & Larrouquette have outlived their usefulness as side players. The Glad pixie is a screeching annoyance.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 12:02:41 PM CDT

    I, too, was underwhelmed by the 24 commercial

    by big bad clone

    Mr. Voice: "Jack Bauer lives on the edge"
    Annoying guy banging Kim: "Jack you're living on the edge"
    WTF? Jack, shoot that kid now. He will try to betray you later on. Shoot that jinx Kim too. With that haircut, she doesn't even look good enough to put up with puma related mishaps. FX's marathon of 24 Season 2 really points out how strog it was. Esp. compared to the first season. This new season doesn't look like it measures up well. I get the feeling Palmer will barely be used this time, but I'm guesssing what ever non-naked Mandy used on him is the same virus they are threatening to release via cokeheads (shit, did Cobra Commander come up with that plan?).

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 1:40:08 PM CDT

    I agree with Fred!!!

    by han ol' buddy

    I've always liked that chick. Something about her. . . makes me want to but in her eye. I'm out.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 3:25:07 PM CDT

    Fred's Obsession

    by frankcobretti

    She reminds me of Martha Quinn, the angel of my fevered adolescent fantasies. Yes, I think I'd much rather do her than Whoopie.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 3:57:10 PM CDT

    Whoopi is.....

    by mechaniferret

    a black Penny Marshall. Ugly, annoying, unfunny, and she looks like she just crawled out of a lesbian's dumpster.

    MF

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 5:42:14 PM CDT

    I feel sorry for Larroquette

    by renonevada2000

    He hasn't done anything really good since the first season of "The John Larroquette Show." Can we have that on DVD please?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 7:42:47 PM CDT

    Wow, even worse than THREAT MATRIX? Than COUPLING?

    by charles grady

    I'm positive WHOOPI will be the season's absolute nadir, but as lame NBC sitcoms go, I have even more hatred going into something like COUPLING, which has been rammed down our throats for months now as the "NEW 'FRIENDS.'" It won't be. NO ONE will care. It'll barely be the new GOOD MORNING, MIAMI, and looks insufferable and smug beyond all reason. Hell, it has Rena Sofer -- she's like the kiss of death in prime time. And wrong network, wrong genre, but THREAT MATRIX is freaking terrible -- a poor man's 24 featuring the two least charismatic leads EVER in an action/suspense show. Kelly Rutherford seems to be channeling PET SEMETARY-era Denise Crosby in terms of unlikeability. THREAT MATRIX might actually be the first show ever to be canceled 42 minutes into its premiere episode. Don't be surprised if they go to commerical 3/4 of the way in never to return. For ABC, it's this year's "THAT WAS THEN."

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 09, 2003 10:45:30 PM CDT

    Is it just me...

    by j-rock

    ...or is this supposed to be an American Fawlty Towers? If it is, it's a dismal failure. Aww heck, who am I kidding -- any way you look at it it's a dismal failure.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 12:09:25 AM CDT

    No more whoopie

    by capitalistpig

    Decree: From henseforth, sex shall never be refered to as "making whoopie". No sex in the history of mankind has been as bad as the first five minutes of this show and it's a gay euphamism anyways. At least Wanda At Large has an excuse for being so crappy. It's on Fox.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 2:23:33 AM CDT

    "has she done anything funny since SISTER ACT?"

    by miltonwaddams

    does this mean sister act was funny? because i don't remember laughing at all. whoopi is just at the end of her career and she knows it, so she's trying to scream out racial slurs in order to get attention. that show is fucking stupid.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 3:02:40 AM CDT

    You're all wrong

    by mindbender

    If we can't watch this pure Gem from America's sweetheart and laugh at ourselves, SURELY the terrorists have won!

    How the Hell does she keep getting work????

    Reply to Talkback

  • Is this a new catch-phrase??? if so i love it!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 10:39:50 AM CDT

    Apparently the coveted Center Square no longer pays the bills

    by trav mcgee

    Hopefully America's favorite celebrity-assisted game show can pick up Rip Taylor in time for the fall season. I mean, he's got props, AND confetti. Maybe too much of a loose cannon, though. Perhaps best go with "Get Bruce!" Vilanche. ...Yep, "Whoopi" looks like a network cautionary tale, but I also sat through an entire episode of NBC's mega-hyped "Union Station" some time back, on the dare that I couldn't make it the half-hour without clicking away or crying (just made it, won a buck). Could Whoopi possibly be as hurtful an experience? "Insulting our intelligence" is a cliche thrown about quite often, but in this case it really does seem to be the literal truth. I can't believe anybody associated with that program ever laughed out loud during its production, yet they expect us to. Thanks! ...The big news is, Ted McGinley's back on the air! (Sorry, "Hope & Faith"!) Ted, I thought you were a good sport way back in "Revenge of the Nerds," and absolutely revelatory on "Sports Night." But for whatever cosmic reason, your presence generally bodes ill for a program's longevity. What did you DO in a past life, Ted McGinley? I'm rooting for you, pal, although a Kelly Ripa vehicle, no matter the cleavage and food fights (sexy AND wacky!), would be inherently doomed even without your tragic karma.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 10:59:38 AM CDT

    What if Ted McGinley jumped over a shark?

    by spikes brain

    OK, we all agree that the Whoopi show is garbage. No big surprise there... But the Happy Family show really disappointed me. Why take two actors who are as good at playing over-the-top as Larroquette and Baranski and have them play boring white-bread suburbanites? And the supporting cast was SO generic! Don't get me started on the Glad girl--apparently she's supposed to be really hot, but can't get a man. By the way, does anybody remember the Fawlty Towers knockoff that Larroquette starred in a few years back? Another "Too Good For TV" show... Trust me, for a show to survive today, it needs 2 things--first, three or more recognizable actors, and second, no Ted McGinley.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 2:54:18 PM CDT

    Whoopi

    by buggeroff

    Come on, it wasn't THAT bad. Or maybe I'm just repressing the memory of the show. All I remember is a melting pot of characters with no memorable dialogue. OK, fuck it...it was that bad. You guys are so convincing.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 10, 2003 2:56:07 PM CDT

    Oh and...

    by buggeroff

    ...why isn't this show on UPN? NBC...you're fucked.

    Reply to Talkback

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