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THE NEW SEASON!! Coax's 'To Watch' List!!

Published at:  Sep 02, 2003 12:46:46 AM CDT

SPOILER ALERT !!

Every summer, all summer long, thousands of e-mails. What looks good this coming season? Where’s the the next “Gilmore Girls,” the next “Gideon’s Crossing,” the next “24,” the next “Alias,” the next “Firefly,” the next “Miracles”?



Alright already! It’s Sept. 2. The launch of “Whoopi” is seven days away. The season premieres of “Enterprise” and “Jake 2.0” are eight days from now. The season’s really here! And here are the 10 new series to which we're most looking forward:



1. Carnivale



  • When’s it airing? 9:30 p.m. Sundays. HBO. Opposite “Alias,” “The Practice,” “Tarzan,” “Arrested Development” and “Law & Order: CI.” Premieres Sept. 14.

  • Who’s in it? Nick Stahl (“In the Bedroom,” “Terminator 3”), Clea DuVall (“Girl, Interrupted,” “Identity”), Clancy Brown (“Highlander,” “Buckaroo Banzai,” “Shawshank Redemption,” “Earth 2,” “Starship Troopers”), Michael Anderson (“Twin Peaks,” “Mulholland Drive”), Patrick Bauchau (“The Pretender”), John Fleck (“Murder One”) and Adrienne Barbeau (“Swamp Thing”).

  • What’s it about? The Depression-era Dust Bowl, good versus evil, and some people with superpowers: a fugitive who can heal with his hands and a preacher who can kill with his brain.

  • Why so excited, Herc? It’s the first Sunday-night sci-fi series from HBO. It’s the first series overseen by Ronald D. Moore, who’s written or co-written of the finest post-1970 “Star Trek” scripts ever.

  • What could go wrong? Though Moore makes his debut as showrunner with this enterprise, “Carnivale” was actually created by one Deane Talyor, who created (uh oh!) CBS’s “Wolf Lake.”


2. Wonderfalls



  • When’s it airing? Midseason. Fox.

  • Who’s in it? Caroline Dhavernes (“Lost and Delirious”), Katie Finneran (“You’ve Got Mail,” “Bram and Alice”), Tyron Leitso (“Dinotopia”), William Sadler (“Roswell”), Diana Scarwid (“A Guy Thing”) and Adam Scott (“Party of Five”).

  • What’s it about? A young souvenir shop owner finds life changed forever when her inventory begins speaking to her.

  • Why so excited, Herc? It’s very smart and very funny. If the first few scripts are any measure, this show is going to attact an instant following. Those who fondly remember “Moonlighting” or “Twin Peaks” or “Northern Exposure” or “Gilmore Girls” may find themselves highly smitten. It’s from writer-producer Bryan Fuller (“Deep Space Nine,” “Voyager”) and the second-best “Angel” writer ever, the amazing Tim Minear.

  • What could go wrong? Because it’s a midseason offering, who can say what kind of impossible timeslot this thing’s going to wind up in? I have a bad feeling that when the very dull “Tru Calling” tanks, “Wonderfalls” is going to inherit its timeslot and try to compete against “Survivor” and the final few “Friends.”


3. Karen Sisco



  • When’s it airing? 10 p.m. Wednesdays. ABC. Opposite “South Park,” “Law & Order” and “The Brotherhood of Poland, N.H.” Premieres Oct. 1.

  • Who’s in it? Carla Gugino (“Chicago Hope,” the “Spy Kids” series), Robert Forster (“Jackie Brown,” “Human Nature”) and Bill Duke (“The Limey,” “Red Dragon”).

  • What’s it about? The hot but tough Miami-based federal marshall played by Jennifer Lopez in the movie “Out of Sight.”

  • Why so excited, Herc? I saw the pilot and I’ve read the first few scripts and I’m here to tell you “Karen Sisco” is going to rule. It’s from writer-producer Scott Frank, who turned two Elmore Leonard novels - “Get Shorty” and “Out of Sight” - into hugely entertaining screenplays. Gugino is a better Karen than Lopez, and Forster is a better Marshall Sisco than Dennis Farina.

  • What could go wrong? It airs opposite “Law & Order,” a show of which America never seems to tire.


4. Jake 2.0



  • When’s it airing? 9 p.m. Wednesdays. UPN. Opposite “Angel,” “The West Wing,” “The Bachelor,” “Bernie Mac” and “The King of Queens.” Premieres Sept. 10.

  • Who’s in it? Christopher Gorham (“Popular,” “Odyssey 5”), Marina Black (“Six Feet Under”), Matt Czuchry (“Eight Legged Freaks”), Judith Scott (“CSI” ) and Keegan Connor Tracy (“40 Days and 40 Nights,” “Final Destination 2”).

  • What’s it about? A computer geek who becomes a government agent after microscopic robots invade his body and give him superpowers.

  • Why so excited, Herc? The early reviews we’ve seen mostly say the show is funny and character-oriented – and it’s got a great showrunner in David Greenwalt (“Angel,” “Miracles”).

  • What could go wrong? It airs opposite “Angel,” “The West Wing,” “The Bachelor,” “Bernie Mac” and “The King of Queens.”


5. Line of Fire



  • When’s it airing? Midseason. ABC.

  • Who’s in it? Leslie Bibb (“Popular,” “ER”), Anson Mount (“City by the Sea,” “Poolhall Junkies”), David Paymer (“State and Main,” “Alex & Emma”), Leslie Hope (“24,” “Dragonfly”), Jeffrey Sams (“Cupid,” “Wasteland”), Brian Goodman (“Catch Me If You Can”), Michael Irby (“The Last Castle”) and Julie Ann Emery (“Taken”).

  • What’s it about? Depicted are the efforts of both the FBI and an organized crime family in Richmond, Va.

  • Why so excited, Herc? It’s from writer-director Rod Lurie, who did kind of an spectacular job with the DreamWorks White House feature “The Contender,” and Jeff Melvoin, one of the team behind “Northern Exposure.”

  • What could go wrong? It’s on ABC. They’re big with the putting on of cool shows, then the quickness of the cancellation.


6. A Minute With Stan Hooper



  • When’s it airing? 8:30 p.m. Wednesdays. Fox. After “That ‘70s Show” and opposite ““Smallville,” “Enterprise,” “Ed” and “60 Minutes II.” Premieres Oct. 29.

  • Who’s in it? Norm Macdonald (“The Norm Show”), Penelope Ann Miller (“Along Came A Spider”), Fred Willard (“A Mighty Wind”), Eric Lively (“American Pie”), Reagan Dale Neis (“Malcolm in the Middle,” “Maybe It’s Me”), Brian Howe (“Catch Me If You Can”), Garret Dillahunt (“Leap Years”), and Daniel Roebuck (“Agent Cody Banks”).

  • What’s it about? A world-famous TV newsmagazine commentator encounters many a quirky resident when he moves from Manhattan to Waterford Falls, Wis.

  • Why so excited, Herc? Writer-producer Barry Kemp (“Taxi,” “Newhart,” “Coach”) has a solid track record and Norm Macdonald really is one of the funniest human beings on the planet.

  • What could go wrong? It’s a fucking sitcom. Plus? It airs after the relentlessly unfunny “That ‘70s Show” and opposite at least three other shows I’m going to be watching. Hopefully Norm’s next stop will be some manner of talk show; we must allow Norm to be Norm.


7. Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital



  • When’s it airing? Midseason. ABC.

  • Who’s in it? Andrew McCarthy (“Weekend at Bernie’s,” “Joy Luck Club”), Bruce Davison (“X2”), Ed Begley Jr. (“St. Elsewhere,” “A Mighty Wind”), Ryan Robbins (“Taken”) and Diane Ladd (“28 Days”).

  • What’s it about? It’s an American remake of Lars von Triers’ “Twin Peaks”-ish Danish miniseries about a haunted hospital teeming with odd characters.

  • Why so excited, Herc? Did something deep inside you enjoy “The Stand”? “The Shining”? “Storm of the Century”? Stephen King wrote teleplays for those as well.

  • What could go wrong? Begley does not play Victor Ehrlich.


8. Cracking Up



  • When’s it airing? Midseason. Fox.

  • Who’s in it? Jake Sandvig (“The Story of Us”), Caitlin Wachs (“Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood,” “Family Affair”), Molly Shannon (“Saturday Night Live”) and Chris McDonald (“The Man Who Wasn’t There,” “Spy Kids 2,” “Grind”).

  • What’s it about? A psychology student moves in with a wealthy Beverly Hills clan.

  • Why so excited, Herc? It’s from writer-producers Mike White (“Freaks & Geeks,” “Chuck & Buck,” “Pasadena,” “Orange County,” “The Good Girl,” “The School of Rock”) and Chris & Paul Weitz (“About A Boy”).

  • What could go wrong? “Pasadena” was great, and Fox cancelled it after about 10 minutes. The Weitzes also created “Off Centre” and directed that useless movie about the boy who was caught sticking his weiner in a pie.


9. Fearless



  • When’s it airing? Midseason. The WB.

  • Who’s in it? Rachael Leigh Cook (“Josie and the Pussycats”) and the ubiquitous Eric Balfour (“Six Feet Under,” “24,” “Veritas: The Quest”).

  • What’s it about? A 23-year-old woman finds her genetic anomaly – she cannot feel fear – comes in handy after she joins an elite undercover FBI unit.

  • Why so excited, Herc? I saw the pilot this very weekend and thought it highly compelling, even the bits with Cook drenched in the white fluid. Cook’s character is great for the same reason T’Pol and Spock are great: she’s nearly impossible to rattle, and that’s pretty entertaining. This is the most watchable drama from Jerry Bruckheimer (“Without a Trace,” the “CSI” franchise) we’ve seen to date.

  • What could go wrong? We hear that all the writers were fired, as well as Bianca Lawson, whom Herc thought was quite good in the pilot. Also, Warren Ellis didn’t like it.


10. Cold Case



  • When’s it airing? 8 p.m. Sundays. CBS. Opposite “American Dreams,” “The Simpsons” and “Charmed.” Premieres Sept. 28.

  • Who’s in it? Kathryn Morris (“The Contender,” “Minority Report”), John Finn (“Catch Me If You Can,” “The Hunted”), Mel Winkler (“A Life Less Ordinary”), Justin Chambers (“The Musketeer,” “The Wedding Planner”) and Jeremy Ratchford (“Angel Eyes”).

  • What’s it about? The only female detective on Philadelphia’s homicide squad discovers she has a penchant for solving unsolved murders.

  • Why so excited, Herc? It’s another of them Jerry Bruckheimer projects (the producer also has “CSI,” “CSI: Miami,” “Without A Trace,” “Skin” and “Fearless” on this season), but writer-producer Meredith Stiehm (“Northern Exposure,” “ER”) has an enormous amount of quality work under her belt. Also? Kathryn Morris has Herc under some sort of hypnosis.

  • What could go wrong? Herc currently watches no CBS dramas, but this could change that. We predict a gigantor hit.


APPENDIX A: We should point out that “Cold Case” would not be on this list if we counted “The O.C.” We are leaving “The O.C.” off the list because we’ve all seen four episodes of it already, but – for the record – we’ve shamefully enjoyed all four episodes, and look forward with uncharacteristic glee to learning whether Julie Cooper dumps her embezzling hubby’s hinder today.

APPENDIX B: The shows that look really atrocious to us so far include ABC’s “10-8,” “Arrrested Development,” “The Ortegas,” “It’s All Relative” “Married to the Kellys,” “I’m With Her” and “Hope & Faith,” CBS’ “The Handler,” NBC’s “Happy Family” and “Whoopi,” Fox’s “Tru Calling,” the WB’s “Tarzan,” “Steve Harvey’s Big Time,” “Run of the House” and “All About The Andersons,” and UPN’s “The Mullets” and “The Opposite Sex.” Our impressions are gleaned mostly from promo materials, though we did get to endure the entire dull pilot episodes of both “Tru” and “Tarzan.”

I am – Hercules!!










    + Expand All

    Readers Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 1:01:41 AM CDT

    Carla Gugino better than Jennifer Lopez as Karen Sisco?

    by osmosis jones

    Not possible.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 1:03:47 AM CDT

    Carnivale...

    by zeroc

    looks awesome! HBO's previews have sold me on it! Reminds me of something David Lynch would do, minus the confusing stuff. I'm watching.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 1:09:49 AM CDT

    pilots

    by dmitry45

    wonderfalls should be on now. even though the premise is silly, the pilot was great. i'm really looking forward to it. i also enjoyed the pilot for arrested development. it's very smart & occassionally hilarious. tarzan is typical wb.the ortegas, & stan hooper were unfunny.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 1:12:56 AM CDT

    too many mid-season shows

    by nny777

    That's too far away. You should just focus on recommending shows coming on in the fall. I guess maybe the networks are putting the safer stuff on in the fall and holding back the more different stuff for the mid-season. I remember last year the shows I was most looking forward to were the mid-season ones, like The Shield and Miracles.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 1:16:06 AM CDT

    What's the suck matrix on "Threat Matrix"?

    by i hate movies

    Has Ashcroft given the all-clear on this thing, or are we talking orange alert here?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 1:18:11 AM CDT

    minus the confusing stuff?

    by nny777

    I read a review of Carnivale from a guy who loves David Lynch movies and he said Carnivale was too confusing for him.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 1:29:05 AM CDT

    isn't stan hooper the same character from SNL who was in the bib

    by grandocariissian

    it was one of the episodes when quentin tarantino was a host.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 1:32:38 AM CDT

    THIS JUST IN: Rachel Evan Wood's tongue in talks for "Brown Bunn

    by i hate movies

    I bet Ebert would watch that...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 2:02:11 AM CDT

    every one of these shows looks like shit

    by eau hellz gnaw

    but we americans seem to enjoy our crappy TV, so at least 2 of them should become big hits.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 2:07:44 AM CDT

    'Threat Matrix?'

    by ribbons

    That seems like a bad idea, but the only footage I've seen of it comes from commercials (I'm not exactly an "insider"), so it's not exactly my place to bash it. Still, how many foreign car bombs can be defused in one year? 'Carnivale' looks pretty interesting and does kind of evoke Lynch, which is not necessarily a reason for watching, but it certainly makes the project seem more interesting. Speaking of psuedo-Lynchian, does anybody remember 'Pete & Pete?'

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 2:10:27 AM CDT

    Stan Hooper

    by tigger99

    Yes, that is definitely the name of Norm's character from the Bible game show skit on SNL. Classic skit..."Yeah, I knew the answer."

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 2:11:02 AM CDT

    eau hellz naw

    by ribbons

    Give me a break. We Americans? Shitty TV exists everywhere the choice to watch hackneyed, shitty TV shows does.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 2:21:19 AM CDT

    Was Herc...

    by joe_buck

    ...using "The Royal We?"

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 3:37:57 AM CDT

    oh yeah baby

    by cibo_matto

    A souveneir shop where the souveneirs talk to the propietor, oh and a guy who wrote episodes for ST Voyager doing it? Oh yeah I can feel the money coming in. and Norm Macdonald, please leave las vegas already, it's not funny anymore buddy. And they do have crappy shows around the world, just take a look at Russian TV.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 5:34:48 AM CDT

    Cold Case

    by redredrobin

    The synopsis of Cold Case reminds me of a drama I seem to remember seeing on British TV not long ago about investigating Cold Cases.

    Does anyone remember the show I'm thinking of as I can't remember much about it?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 7:09:18 AM CDT

    Wednesday-

    by renonevada2000

    Must everything interesting be on Wednesday nights? I only have two VCRs!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 7:10:53 AM CDT

    We rarely disagree with much, Herc...but....

    by xthecrovvx

    That 70's Show is pretty much the only other non-Simpsons/24 reason to turn to Fox. Well, that certainly explains why there's been considerably less coverage for that as opposed to, say, Big Brother, which makes me want to pull an Event Horizon, claw my eyes out, and blindly kill random reality TV fans with surgical tools. But, oh well. Revolution(s) is my name.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 7:58:01 AM CDT

    Couple Thoughts

    by kingofthefools

    First off, I lost all faith in Fox after they did that big house cleaning a couple years ago and cancelled Titus, The Family Guy and Futurama in favor of Greg The Bunny and a couple other shows that never made it past the first episodes. I will NEVER till my dying day understand the mentallity (or lack there of) behind that one. I agree there are only a hand full of shows left to even warrent turning to Fox (The Simpsons, King Of The Hill, That 70s Show and Malcolm In The Middle), and it doesn't look like any of the new shows will do anything to change that any time soon. Second...It's good to see cast members of one of my biggest guilty pleassure shows (Popular) getting work. I mean really, what kind of network idiot cancels a show on a cliff hanger season finale?!? They could have at least let us know how it turned out. Rat bastards. All I know is when the Simpsons and King Of The Hill finally run out their clocks, I doubt there will be anything left worth watching on network television. It'll all be news magazine and reality programs.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 9:25:01 AM CDT

    RedRed....

    by rufustfirefly

    My first thoughts about Cold Case was it's like that show on BBC America "Waking the Dead" which is what I assume you are referring to. The big differences I see are that this is one detective (female) and WTD is a group led by a male. Oh and the guy in WTD has an unsolved case of his own in his missing son. Not sure what the back story of Cold Case is, though.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 9:35:04 AM CDT

    Osmosis Jones likes JLo? Dork....

    by hankamania

    I read Out of Sight back in '97 and was pissed off when I found out that for the movie, they had Jennifer Lopez playing a character that was clearly not suited to her. But hey, she was the Next Big Thing (tm). Clooney really carried that movie. Anyway, I saw the Karen Sisco pilot a few months ago and wasn't expecting much, given what the movies do with Elmore Leonard's characters (although I still get warm feelings thinking about Liz Vassey in Maximum Bob. Mmmmm.....Liz Vassey....) But I'll be damned if Carla Gugino didn't nail it spot-on. SHE was the character I read in the book. And Robert Forster playing her dad was icing on the cake.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 9:42:39 AM CDT

    The "Great" Ronald D. Moore

    by phimseto

    Would this be the same Ronald Moore whose "reimagining" of Battlestar Galactica is the same one giving us a female Starbuck and that Edward James Olmos emphatically warns all original fans to steer clear of? My interest in "Carnivale" just went south faster than the runtime most of these shows will probably get.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 10:02:34 AM CDT

    Waking The Dead

    by redredrobin

    Thanks Mr. Firefly, that is probably the one I was thinking of. I'll pop over to BBC Online and see if they can ring any bells for me.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 11:15:16 AM CDT

    Harry, why was there no Duck Dodgers talkback?

    by terry_1978

    Last weekend's epsiode was hilarious...spoof of the Iron Giant, with the last scene completely frame by frame.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 11:55:30 AM CDT

    Hey, Herc! How about the lowdown on Threat Matrix?

    by wardog

    That's the ONLY new series that has me interested in the least this fall.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 2:05:20 PM CDT

    Cold Case....and other thoughts...

    by wungolioth

    It looks a lot more like a dramatization of Cold Case Files on A&E, which is all about the cold case files that were solved by FBI profiler Dale Hinman, the female lead in the series even looks like a younger version of Ms. Hinman. From what I've read the lead character in Cold Case is not actually in the FBI, but you never know where they're going with this, she could end up being with them later(she'd sort of have to, if it were based in a certain city wouldn't she run out of solvable cold cases after a while?). I'd also like to put out the statement that if all networks committed to their series the way that HBO does, we'd never have to sit and wonder what might have been. I've yet to see HBO not run the whole of a series it started, for better(Six Feet Under and Sopranos) or worse(never been a big fan of Sex and the City or Arliss). They also seem to have a better litmus for quality than most networks. I don't know how well the major networks would do taking their example, I honestly don't know if the majority of the viewing public would have embraced these shows as much as the HBO audience. Perhaps the networks would do better to limit the number of projects they have on the backburner so they can put more quality into the shows they're airing. The networks having the option of a midseason replacement results in the far too easy abandonment of shows they should try harder to find an audience for.~ Just a random thought about that new Fox show Skin, how are they going to keep the tension up on that show? I mean, once you get beyond the whole idea of the daughter of the porn king and son of the DA being together, doesn't it really end there? Wouldn't this have made a better(read sleazy) movie of the week than the premise for a whole series? And what about that Joan of Arcadia, I was somewhat intrigued by the ads I've seen.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 4:00:21 PM CDT

    HEY, Wolf Lake could have been Legendary!

    by drath

    No really, the idea was not bad, it just had terrible execution with mostly terrible actors (can't we just assume that if Lou Diamond Philips is in something, it's going to suck?) and some dumb as hell writing/pacing. But the idea was just The Howling as a series. If they'd tossed the Dawson's Creek shite and made the werewolves EVIL it would have worked!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 4:50:37 PM CDT

    Bianca Lawson was the only reason why I was going to watch Fearl

    by steal_dragon

  • Sep 02, 2003 5:26:04 PM CDT

    Carla Gugino.....

    by jimmy jazz

    Rules. She is a goddess. I've been saying that for years and now the rest of the country can discover that. JBLO is a no-talent egomaniacal skank who needed George Clooney to prop herself on in order to get through the movie. Out of Sight worked IN SPITE of JHO, not because of her.

    Reply to Talkback

  • blah fox can go fuck themselves

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 6:14:37 PM CDT

    Stan Hooper sounds good

    by sexybeast


    I liked the look of the previews. Its been a long time since i've seen anything on primetime network tv that i thought was good.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 6:27:22 PM CDT

    dont fuck the wb

    by narky

    the WB at least gives their shows a chance, i will be forever grateful that they gave buffy a good home for 5 years. i'm sure they fired bianca lawson for a good reason.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 6:32:40 PM CDT

    Arrested Development

    by roj blake

    The one show Herc says doesn't look promising - but actually is - is "Arrested Development" on Fox. I've watched the pilot about four or five times and it gets funnier every single time. The jokes are so well thought out and certain gags are brought up and then actually pay off 10 minutes later, and so forth....you know, "thinking man's" comedy. I can't imagine how the creative team will be able to keep it as witty as the pilot - but if they can, it'll easily be the best new show of the season...which of course means that it won't make it past ten episodes. The Sunday night scheduling probably won't help. Oh, and Carnivale rocks. Guess I'll be watching the West Coast HBO feed though so I can see AD on Fox.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 6:47:38 PM CDT

    But nothing on...

    by fabfunk

    MI-5 or I'M WITH BUSEY or NIP-TUCK. Tuesdays are too crowded. And any word on LUIS?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 7:30:15 PM CDT

    Cold Case larceny of Cold Squad

    by kabong

    Cold Case is an unabashed imitation of the Canadian series Cold Squad. Typical looting by the Empire. Anyone else tries that and they're accused of crimes against free enterprise.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 02, 2003 8:32:54 PM CDT

    I'm just curious...

    by adus

    but who really gives a flying fuck what Warren Ellis thinks? So he didn't like the pilot to "Fearless." So what? Is that really a barometer of rather or not a show is good or not. I'm tempted to watch the show even I'm really not interested and thereby help it become a great success just because Warren Ellis didn't like it. I suppose his egotistical bullshit rants visa ve the comics industry have some small measure of credibility just because he works in it. But when it comes to TV, movies, or whatever else he may comment on his opinion holds no more relevance then that of the guy who works behind the cash register at my local 7-11. So I'm at a loss as to why Herc feels the need to suggest that Ellis did not like the pilot may not bode well for the series. Who cares?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2003 12:10:05 AM CDT

    Joe Schmo is great

    by sexybeast


    I don't know if its really a guy who thinks the show is real though. It seems like they are all in on it and the audience is the one being duped. But regardless its really entertaining.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2003 12:42:40 AM CDT

    Tru Calling and the lovely Eliza Dushku--Case File 68

    by bodie twisselman

    Twisselman's the name. Bodie Twisselman. I'm new to this gig but not to detective work. Business had been slower than the sweat drop running down my back into the crack of my nether regions when she walked into my office. She, of course, being Eliza. "I need you to find someone for me," says she. I allowed as how she had come to the right place. Her lashes came down over her eyes a couple of times, and that was it: I'd swallowed the bait; had been hooked, fished, netted; but not gutted: that would come later. Eliza probably has the most fellatio-friendly eyes I've ever seen..except maybe Evan Rachel Wood, but that's another story and another case. "Can do, m'lady," sez I, in a jaunty tone; for missing persons is my specialty--finding them, that is, not contributing to their absence. "Whom might I be finding?" "An audience," she replies, tossing her hair and throwing one leg up onto my cluttered desk, ostensibly to adjust the buckle on her sandal but more likely, I suspect, to show off her French pedicure. (I was on my way to gutted at this point.) "An audience," she goes on, "for my new show Tru Calling, which seems to be getting bashed my someone calling himself Hercules. Millions of visitors to the AICN website read his words and beleive them to be the words of God Himself. Well, maybe that's overstating, but they tend to go along with a lot of what he writes. He's driving my audience away, and I need them found. Got a light?" she demanded, the ciggy already between her lips. As it happens, I do not smoke; but I was able to catch the sunlight through a nearby magnifying glass and light her smoke up in that way: a trick I learned from Toy Story. She seemed impressed. "I can find your audience," I assured her, which seemed to impress her even more. "Most of them were in a room at the San Diego Comic Convention attending your panel. It's just a matter of tracking them down and forcing them to watch at least the first two shows." Said she: "Please assure them that Tru WILL have a car in the second episode, and will not be running all over the place like a faux-Lola or something." Now, the only Lola I know of is the one in that Kinks song, who if memory serves turned out to be a man or a hermaphrodite or something along those lines; still, I was quite sure that was not the Lola to which my new client referred. So I said, "It's all good," which though foreign-sounding to me, acted like a talisman on Eliza herself; and she beamed like a girl who'd received her first tongue-piercing. "Awesome! Thank you, sweetie!" she exclaimed, and with that, whirled and left my office as quickly as she'd come in, before we even had a chance to talk about my fee. But I suspect that will come later...as will my eventual gutting, and the eventual crushing of my heart like an overripe hothouse tomato. Yes, that will come later. But now...I have a case to crack.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2003 1:01:54 AM CDT

    Las Vegas

    by darth brooks

    How could you leave out James Caan in "Las Vegas"?? It's like CSI without all the dead bodies. Plus Molly Sims buck nekkid in the first five minutes of the show! *AND* NIKKI COX spilling out of her dress all through the show!! Emmy City, Baybee!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2003 1:14:14 AM CDT

    I have 2 words for you Arrested Development doubters

    by mr_show

    David Cross.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2003 1:53:32 AM CDT

    Contender was horrid

    by digdig

    Unless you like Hollywood lectures on politics

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2003 2:26:37 AM CDT

    Dumbass

    by sweet_jcs

    relentlessly unfunny that 70's show???? you're nuts man, that is one of the few quality comedies on tv.. you probably watch king of queens and everybody loves raymond you assclown.. how old are you? 40? are you too old to "get the newfangled" funny stuff?

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  • Sep 03, 2003 12:23:51 PM CDT

    A haunted hospital?

    by kid z

    Teeming with odd characters? Didn't that run in the 80's? Wasn't it called "St. Elsewhere"?

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  • Sep 03, 2003 2:46:53 PM CDT

    6-12 Episodes tops

    by kryptonslastson

    Wonderfalls, Jake 2.0, Line of Fire, Stan Hooper, Cracking Up, Fearless. They're all walking dead as we speak.... seriously do any of them even sound good? Bring back Homicide!

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  • Sep 03, 2003 3:35:46 PM CDT

    Just to correct myself...

    by wungolioth

    The Dayle Hinman show is actually on CourtTV and it's called Body of Evidence.

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  • Sep 03, 2003 3:41:43 PM CDT

    And I also have to chime in on That 70's Show...

    by wungolioth

    What has Herc been smoking? That 70's Show is not only a laugh riot, but extremely rewatchable, I usually try to catch the reruns whenever I can. I guess that I get to drool over Laura Prepon for a half hour doesn't hurt, either.

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  • Sep 03, 2003 7:44:28 PM CDT

    YO HERC! What about the REAL best of reality TV.

    by liquid_daze

    (not counting Taxi Cab Confessions) What about the foodsploitation genre? Cooking shows to you rubes. What about the brilliant / lecherous exploits of Tyler on "Food 911?" He tutors bored, inept housewives (usually while their husbands watch), and hope/help-less bachelors. What about The History Channel meets Fastfood Nation stylings of Mark "Double Dare" Summers? And the busting-outta-the-closet anal-retentiveness of Alton Brown? Anyhooo, on topic: Any word on the quality of "The L Word," the all-girl answer to "Queer As Folk?"

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  • Sep 05, 2003 11:22:11 PM CDT

    Cold Case

    by t.l.hopper

    This show will die a short painful death

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  • Sep 06, 2003 10:32:30 PM CDT

    a US 'Kingdom' remake? egads.

    by sock_monkey

    I love the Danish original - and I just don't see how they can pull this one off on our more- censored airwaves. Unless they change it so drastically that it comes off all nice and clean.. and that would be (shudder) so bad.

    It's doomed, I say. Doomed.

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