Aug. 7, 2003, 1:54 a.m. CST
Aug. 7, 2003, 1:59 a.m. CST
Every freaking 24 message-board I went to was buzzing with this rumour of Kim and lesbian escapades and NakedMandy... It got more absurd from each message board to the next. Thank you for finally putting an end to the rumour.
Aug. 7, 2003, 1:59 a.m. CST
...Mila Kunis from That 70s Show. Apparently the Maxim shots of those two together gave the 24 writers the idea. That will single-handedly (pun intended) raise (another pun intended) the viewership 100%.
Aug. 7, 2003, 2:18 a.m. CST
by Darth Melkor
Her last two boyfriends have wound up imprisoned and peg legged.
Aug. 7, 2003, 2:28 a.m. CST
by Virtual Satyr
is Jack Bauer. The Jack and Kim Bauer Incest Power Hour. Okay, I just creeped myself out typing that.
Aug. 7, 2003, 3:15 a.m. CST
by jules windex
Think about it. 24 can be the first show on network TV to bring beastiality into our homes.
Aug. 7, 2003, 3:30 a.m. CST
by Virtual Satyr
Yes Kim is a lebian. Jack finds out and vows to do whatever he can to change her back. The solution. Ben Affleck. But Jack only has 24 hours to convince Ben to seduce Kim, before Ben marries J.LO. My name is Jack Bauer and today is the longest day of Ben Affleck's life.
Aug. 7, 2003, 4:01 a.m. CST
so I'm admittedly a bit confused but where exactly is the "news" here? If I understand this "scoop" you're saying Kim is NOT a lesbian correct? Wow, I mean to quote Al Pacino in the underrated masterpiece "Heat" "I am fucking overwhelmed!" That's great stuff. What a bullshit waste of space. Sorry maybe I'm just grumpy. I think I'll just go to bed.
Aug. 7, 2003, 4:43 a.m. CST
Aug. 7, 2003, 5:12 a.m. CST
by Virtual Satyr
to read the article about Kim being a lesbian.
Aug. 7, 2003, 6:20 a.m. CST
She needs to stay on the same heterosexual team as Rachel Leigh Cook, Alicia Silverstone, and Felicia Fox, so as to maximize the amount of white stuff on her face.
Aug. 7, 2003, 6:38 a.m. CST
if kim's not dating a girl, then who's gonna be the big bad of the 3rd season?!?! Nothing makes sense anymore!!
Aug. 7, 2003, 6:58 a.m. CST
catfights and shower scenes! Catfights And Shower Scenes!!!! CATFIGHTS AND SHOWER SCENES!!! CATFIGHTS AND SHOWER SCENES!!!!!!! CATFIGHTS AND SHOWER SCENES!!!!!!!!! CATFIGHTS AND SHOWER SCENES!!!!!!!!!!!!!....And thus, meow! - - - George, The 7th Chicken!!!!
Aug. 7, 2003, 7:25 a.m. CST
Undercover Brother. As if there was any doubt.
Aug. 7, 2003, 9:40 a.m. CST
...Julia Sweeney in a triumphant return as "Pat"! It's about time. sk
Aug. 7, 2003, 9:41 a.m. CST
Kim's new love interest is being played by Amber Benson. She's being added to the cast because she has a lovely singing voice,and there's a musical episode planned for November sweeps. (Can't wait to hear Prez Palmer's version of "Mandy"). She's only signed for 18 episodes, so rumor is they plan to kill her character off violently, sending Kim off on rampage where she tries to destroy the world by starting WW III, and at the same time sparking a torrent of protest by lesbian 24 fans. Hey, no such thing as bad publicity.
Aug. 7, 2003, 10:34 a.m. CST
What a headline.
Aug. 7, 2003, 1:05 p.m. CST
He's doing Kim AND Michelle (AND Mandy, now that he's chosen to be this season's mole). Let's elect Tony as governor of California!
What's this I hear about the Cyprus recordings being fakes?
Aug. 7, 2003, 1:34 p.m. CST
The last poor bastard lost his leg! What will the next one lose!? Would a lesbian lover be any safer or would she be as doomed as Tara on Buffy?! I don't know, but they seem to have taken AICN's own TB suggestion of Kim becoming a CTU employee, so maybe they'll take the lesbian shower scene advice too. Mandy's even back! I swear to you, they make this show for AICN Talkbackers.
Aug. 7, 2003, 1:41 p.m. CST
WOOO HOOO KIM & NINA MUD WRESTLING FOR JACK'S attention..... WOWZA
Aug. 7, 2003, 2:07 p.m. CST
Oh and Portia de Rossi is lesbian.
Aug. 7, 2003, 3:21 p.m. CST
A Secret Service agent fired for being lesbian is nearly killed by a car bomb planted by her superiors to prevent her from suing. She's rebuilt by a cabal of engineers from GALA's R&D division and turned into: The Lesbionic Woman! I can't wait for this character on 24! Oh, wait, it's LESBIANIC. Sorry
Aug. 7, 2003, 6:08 p.m. CST
yeah yeah yeah...so we have hot steamy network tv female sudsy action......but the real selling point to this upcoming season will lie when Jack Bauer finally says "The entire state of California could get wiped out, Governor Coleman."....And thus, I have kept up with the times! - - - George, The 7th Chicken!!!!
Aug. 7, 2003, 6:54 p.m. CST
The cougar from the previous season returns, and Kim, always one to live a life of danger and make edgy decisions, decides to date the feline predator. They both retire to the California wlderness used in most CHIPS episodes and have a litter of kittens.
Aug. 7, 2003, 11:58 p.m. CST
I forget her name, but the hot brunette Baywatch gal has an identical twin sister who is lesbian. One straight one and one lesbian one! Fantasies for EVERYONE! BTW: The gay twin is a SF Firefighter and Stanford Grad. She wrote a book about it.
Aug. 8, 2003, 9:12 a.m. CST
No, really. I'm riveted.
Aug. 8, 2003, 6:57 p.m. CST
"They either look like guys or Ellen DeGeneres...If lesbians are attracted to women, why do they all look like men?" Good question. We all watch porn tapes or read magazines where extremely attractive women get it on with one another. But then we watch the news where NOW or GLAD officials are talking, or read the paper about some lesbos adopting a Korean kid, and they all look like Cheech Marin! What's with that?
Aug. 9, 2003, 10:57 p.m. CST
by Some Dude
If you want to see hot lesbians outside of the world of porn, go to NYC's Starlight on Sunday nights. Holy shit! It is straight guy heaven, if you can get in the door. Having lesbian friends on hand will help with the bouncers, but judging from your post, well, good luck trying. But I'm sure they'll let you in the rest of the week...
Aug. 10, 2003, 10:22 p.m. CST
where kim is still in high school and she sleeps with luke wilson? now THAT'S what i call a sticky situation.
Aug. 10, 2003, 11:27 p.m. CST
No mention of Futurama coming to an end? Blasphemy!
Aug. 11, 2003, 4:17 a.m. CST
...I can look at 24 articles (It's just finished here in the UK -Jack Bauer can walk on walls. Cool.) Shame it's not a better article though.
Aug. 11, 2003, 3:17 p.m. CST
"GREAT SCOTT, MARTY! Don't you see? We used 500 *GIGAWATTS* of power! We've caused a rift in the time continuum thanks to the flux capacitor!"---------"So Doc, wha...what...what are you saying?"----------"MARTY! Don't you see! Now all lesbians look like either Cheech Marin or k.d. lang!"---------"Whoa, Doc, this is HEAVY."------"Not as heavy as a 250 lb. lesbo! To the Delorean!"
Aug. 11, 2003, 6:06 p.m. CST
From TVGuide: Kiefer Sutherland has made a lifetime commitment to 24
Aug. 11, 2003, 10:21 p.m. CST
Seriously, man- I don't want to get too into the details, but I can tell you that lesbians do not all look like Cheech Marin or KD Lang. Just like straight people, gay people come in several degrees of beauty. As for why there's an attraction for masculine lesbians, you have to understand that even in a homosexual relationship there's the butch and the femme, and very often the butch is more attracted to femmes, and the femmes are more attracted to butch (but not always). This applies to gay men and to lesbians, and bisexuals tend to lean toward androgynous figures rather than a completely butch or femme partner. There. Now go out and try to avoid saying anything else that sounds ignorantly homophobic.
Aug. 12, 2003, 10:29 a.m. CST
by Mandrake Falls
Season 3... The Following takes place between 1 P.M and 2 P.M on the day the moon turned bad... President Palmers brother, Wayne has been kidnapped by Nina and taken into space where she'll enable her "Parsons Project" laser weapon (situated on the moon by the way) to destroy Canada, thus ending her on going feud with the Major Maple Syrup Industries. Special Agent Jack Bauer, with the help of his new sidekick, Robotic Sir Gary Coleman must go into space, save Wayne, destroy the weapon thus saving Canada and exact revenge on the evil wife killer Nina! Hmmmmm Norm Chomsky?
Aug. 14, 2003, 1:32 p.m. CST
Sounds like the name of a lesbionic western set to debut this fall on the Bravo Network. "Stay tuned after 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' for Bravo's new western billed by the Chicago Sun Times as 'The Man With No Name meets The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name'...'The Butch and the Femme!' Starring Cheech Marin and k.d. lang as two lesbians dealing with being in lust while being on the lam. See how the west was WILD as they use their outlaw skills to escape the zealously homophobic Dodge City Marshall (played by Emmy-winner Ed Asner). Rated TV-14 for sexual situations."
Aug. 16, 2003, 2:49 a.m. CST