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Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...

Okay, so I was working on my enemies list earlier tonight. Of course Harry’s at the top of it. Bastard. Just when I’ve finally gotten over my enormous jealousy over the Beijing KILL BILL trip, he’s gearing up for Prague, where he’s got ridiculous amounts of coolness planned.

And now I have to add Quint to the list. Why? Well, I’ll let him tell you himself in what should be the first of several reports he files from... grrrrrr... New Zealand.

Ahoy, squirts! Everyone's favorite crusty ol' seaman, Quint, here. Sorry for my long absence from the site... I'm going to more than make up for it now.

While my family and friends welter in the Texas heat I rest comfortably in this chilly early winter time in the southern hemisphere. I am currently typing this beginning at almost 1am on July 4th in a very nice rented house in a suburb of Wellington, New Zealand. I'm writing this prologue as a means of getting a jump on the massive first report I will write and send in sometime this weekend.

Sometime tomorrow (tomorrow being 8 or 9 hours from now) I am promised an introduction to one of the true great (and woefully under-appreciated outside the geek community) actors living today, Mr. Christopher Lee as he does his only full day of pick-up shots playing the fallen Wizard Saruman in Peter Jackson's RETURN OF THE KING.

I've been in New Zealand for over a month now. I know most of you cynical bastards out there will have a hard time believing this, but this whole trip was financed 100% by me myself. Around $1500 of plane tickets, my share of the house rental (split 3 ways between me and my good friends Kraken and Mrs. Kraken) and food money for a month.

I'm a poor writer and $1500 is a massive sum of money for me to come up with, but when this opportunity came up I did what any self respecting geek would do... Get a job? Hell no! I sold pieces of my precious geek collection that I have slowly been amassing for the last 10 years or so. A rare 35mm print that I treasured... A prop from one of my favorite movies (The Dude's white jumpsuit from the dream sequence in THE BIG LEBOWSKI)... All to get myself out here to witness history being made. To be in Rivendell before it exists no longer. To touch the White Tree of Gondor. To stand in Shelob's creepy lair, inches from a shriveled dead orc hanging by webbing from the ceiling. In essence, to live the geek's dream.

Like many of you I read Harry's LOTR set reports with a great mixture of anticipation and barely controlled jealousy. Every movie geek has the longing, that immeasurable desire to have seen their favorite films being made, whether it's JAWS or KING KONG or THE MATRIX or DEEP THROAT. It was a pleasant torture that Knowles put us through then.

I can't top what Knowles did 3 years ago as I came to visit the set as guest of Peter Jackson not as press, thus there won't be many "live" reports. I assumed I was here as a movie geek and film fan... one lucky enough to share friends with Peter Jackson. It wasn't until a few days ago that I found out I was cool to write up my adventures... It should be interesting to hear the reaction out of New Line as they didn't even know I was out here until a week or so ago. hehe

So... I have slept and awoken again. It's a bright, beautiful day outside and I'm an hour away from seeing Christopher Lee do his thing. I still can't believe I'm out here... can't believe I can live a life that intersects with something as amazingly awesome as Christopher Lee performing Saruman. How did I get so lucky?

I'm not quite sure, but I'll do my best to spread the wealth and write up some nice reports to whet your appetites... I don't know if I can sustain you folks until December, but these reports will at least help you to get to that first trailer.

Before I leave, I want to give you a small teaser of what you'll see in these reports. I've seen Legolas kill lots of Orcs from a perspective I never imagined I would. Then there's chatting with Hobbits as they get their hair teased and feet checked. I saw special effects history being made a couple weeks ago... The Great Eye has been upon me. I totally conquered the embarrassing geek inside me by not asking Hugo Weaving to say "Mr. Anderson." There are fights, killings and horse play to be told about. Sets... everything from Minis Tirith to Mordor to Rivendell to Shelob's impressive Lair.

Lots to come, squirties. I must now depart. The call of Dracula has reached my ears. Time to partake in the festivities of May Day... Shall I be the Fool or the horse-man? Only time will tell.

I wish all you American friends the best on our country's Birthday. I will return shortly with my first full report. 'Til that day this is Quint bidding you all a fond farewell and adieu.

-Quint email:

Readers Talkback
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  • July 4, 2003, 5:22 a.m. CST

    I'm just not stoked for this....oh and FIRST!!

    by IndustryKiller

    ho hum

  • July 4, 2003, 5:24 a.m. CST

    I wish upon a star I hadn't read the books first so I could enjo

    by IndustryKiller

    Try as I might I just cannot get past the differences. So many of the changes just seem arbitrary and without merit for me to enjoy them and therefore I just cannot get excited about ROTK. I mean shit they still have like 100 pages from Two Towers that they never got to. SIgh, I'm bracing myself for more disappointment.

  • July 4, 2003, 5:26 a.m. CST

    So...jealous. Must...control...aaargh

    by Heleno

    Wish I was there.

  • July 4, 2003, 5:27 a.m. CST

    Can't wait for these reports!

    by monkeygiles

    BTW is it just me or does anyone one else think that Hugo Weaving can't act for toffee (or should that be Lembas)? For me, in TFOTR, he was the weak link, really hamming up his lines and bunging in countless random pauses (a la Agent Smith): "You shall... journey.... to... Morrrrrrrrrrddooooorrrrrrrrrrrrr

  • July 4, 2003, 5:28 a.m. CST

    Here's hoping both Return of the King & Episode 3 are the best o

    by Red Raider

    But when I hear that Jonathan Hales is not co-writing the script with Lucas, I begin to get that queasy, TPM type feeling. I have total faith, however, that ROTK will be the best of the three LOTR films. Peter Jackson is a god....

  • July 4, 2003, 5:33 a.m. CST

    Lucky Bastard!

    by topothemornin'

    New Zealand - probably the most georgous place on Earth! Chris Lee - probably the most fanny-tastic actor on Earth - you jammy git!

  • July 4, 2003, 6:12 a.m. CST

    IndustryKiller: Books <-> Films

    by Glawen

    I read the books once a year, and really enjoyed the films. Afterall, a film cannot be a book and vice versa as they have to offer different things. I wasn't bothered by the differences between the two, as I can understand that they were done to move the film along, provide a perspective, change the pace of things etc etc. Making an exact film of the book would be quite boring, as most of the enjoyment of a book comes from what you imagine and having that removed from you, by plastering it up on the screen, would make for a much worse film. At the end of the day, the films are PJ's personal interpretation of the books and he should be admired for how much he has done with something which nearly everone considered unfilmable. It's likely that your and my interpretation of the books are also different and, had we the skill, I'm sure we would have made very different films. But they are all valid. No matter, I am sure that you will go and see the last film anyway.

  • July 4, 2003, 6:17 a.m. CST

    This is the kind of story that reignites my love of movies.

    by Wingnut1A

    My anticipation for this one is very high! I have worked on the sets of a couple VERY low budget movies and some TV commercials, and I gotta say that hearing the "behind the scenes" type stories of pranks and stuff really makes me want to do more of it. ... ... Especially for movies like this that will be seen with admiration 100 years from now, it is a kind of immortality to have your name in the credits. It really is movie magic. =) It makes me want to move to New Zealand ... seems like so many great ones are being fimed there now-a-days.

  • July 4, 2003, 6:22 a.m. CST

    I'm not saying that if you read the books you can't love the fil

    by IndustryKiller

    Obviously that statement would just be wrong. But I personally just can't let some of the things they changed go and I'm very worried about what will be left out of ROTK. I sort of wish that when I read they were making the films all those years ago I hadn't rushed out and read the books because I would have enjoyed the films more if I hadn't and I could always have gone back and read the books. It actually sucks being on the outside of something so many people are feeling so passionate about. It feels a bit like being a film fan in the 70's and not being able to get down with the Star Wars Phenomenon, cause I imagine that must have sucked pretty bad too.

  • July 4, 2003, 6:38 a.m. CST

    But the Dudes suit, man that's a high price to pay...

    by earthworm

    ...worth evey penny though I'd imagine. Lucky lucky bastard.

  • July 4, 2003, 6:39 a.m. CST

    Dear God

    by Jabbathenutt

    you are the luckiest man alive on this day. (unless someone is currently having a threesome with the Olsen twins that is).

  • July 4, 2003, 6:53 a.m. CST

    man, i dont need that

    by Cotillion

    ...the agony is already quite unbearable... that set visit is just the last nail on my coffin... Well, just tell me that PJ has decided that he will NOT end the film after the scene at Mount Doom.

  • July 4, 2003, 6:59 a.m. CST


    by Miami Mofo

    [To be read in Gollum's voice]: Quint you bastard! We wants those reports now!! [Back to my voice]: Can't wait to read 'em!!! ***IndustryKiller!: May I remind you that Fellowship is approx. 400 pages long, Two Towers 325, and The Return of the King, not including the appendices, is only 280 pages long, of which the final 80 pages is after the destruction of the Ring. Now I want to see 'Scouring' just as much as anyone else, but I've accepted the fact that just like Tom Bombadil, that's something that will not be included. But I do believe that we will not be shortchanged in any of the major events leading up to the destruction of the Ring, despite the fact that the end of The Two Towers (book) is now the beginning of The Return of the King (film).

  • July 4, 2003, 7:17 a.m. CST

    Whats Return of the King?

    by Jon E Cin

    OHhh...thats right..the only big movie that wont be a dissapointment like everything else this year.

  • July 4, 2003, 7:46 a.m. CST

    Out for the kill this ain't :(

    by BankyEdwards2309

    Yeah so there here again, the Hobbits, Lego-land,Orcs,that girl from the Aerosmith videos..but this all pales in comparison to one thing..there's no Segal!! Will ROTK feature slo-mo shots of over weight sword weilding ex-CIA chefs on top a train whilst jumping into a hot air balloon? sadly.. More Segal less.. eighty foot talking trees please! Gotta go..I'm out for the kill, be back in time for tea. xx

  • July 4, 2003, 7:59 a.m. CST

    by Old Darth

    Yes IndustryKiller - learn to separate the two. The best LOTR will always be the one in your head. Take the best parts of the book and the movie and your version and it will always be your best version. Don't dwell on the changes you didn't like. PJ has also made changes which have improved the story. Quint - look forward to hearing future reports.

  • July 4, 2003, 8:12 a.m. CST

    It t was worth it Quint...

    by morGoth

    ...and the Dude will always abide. I would've given my left stumpy foreleg for the chance to do what you have, but alas, no takers. Well happy FOurth of July and good on ya mate! I'll set off a whole bag of Goblin barkers in yer honor {[:^)

  • July 4, 2003, 8:33 a.m. CST

    Industry Killer reveals regret at the Forsaken Inn!

    by morGoth

    Sorry for you lad but like Miami Mofo and Glawen, I

  • July 4, 2003, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Thanks for making us green, Cap'n, but out-of-pocket expenses li

    by JasonDkEldar

    Um, no you are not .. first that is.. As for your not getting past having read the books and their not following the books exactly?? I am alright with your not getting past it. Not every movie is made for every person. I didn;t like the Matrix, liked The Ring, hated Blair Witch, disliked Princess Mononoke, but yet loved Akira. I figured out what it was after a while though that made it OK for me to like things others didn;t and dislike things others did. I am able to choose for myself, and doing so makes the experience more enjoyable. Sure, I like to hear others' opinions of how they felt when they saw a movie or film I either likewise liked or not-like-them disliked, but I enjoy their opinions for what they are, which is that very thing--Opinion. Dissing other people for likng something I have never done, but commenting wen someone's objections to something have nothing to do with their honest reaction to the film is another. If you let your own version of the film in your head color your enjoyment then I am sorrry for you. I suppose it iswhy the Matix fans get so upset when there is a LOTR talkback on the site, since they cannot get that someone can enjoy a movie that doesn't hide its plot behind borrowed techniques from other genres/traditions. To be simple, Matrix is Total Recall is Tron is a dozen other sci-fi stories dressed up in black leather, but the people who like it for its style are OK in my book, but telling me I just didn't et their petproject of enlightenment is another thing entirely. I get stories. I can read words printed on a page or displayed on a screen and attach their symbolic and descriptive intent. I can even write a couple words down of my own. Can I direct a film like the W Bros?? I don;t know, and have never tried. Would I want to>> Don;t think so. I like my storytelling to not depend too much on a gimminck, although a good hook or twist is OK. Recently seen some movies that rewarded my faith in films having cojones, and the First LOTR was the most glaring example of that. They not only dared to take on this project and ignore the faxes from La-La-Land telling them the best way to make their movie even though Hollywooden couldn;t get a decent version of this to the screen in the half-century or so since its publication. Sure it spooked me bad when I heard Arwen would have more to say in the action, but it was before I saw that she would not be taking away from the film, but rather adding to it. It seemed odd to me sometimes reading the trilogy-plus-prequel as I grew older that the only strong female character in the book ended up not showing up til the second book, and what's more, ended up with the minor player from the White City while the off-camera GOOD Girl ended up with the king. As I grew older it reminded me of the hero whose name I share, abandoning the interesting strong character for the chick with the white veil and big dowry. Arwen in the original presentation of the books--without the added tales or appendices--was a rather weak character, loving Aragorn because he was the football team captain it seemed, and his love for her was no more seemingly based on anything else but thinking she was the hottest of the elf-chicks he had grown up around?? The movies gave her character something to work with, removing an exraneous sequence with Glorfindel, giving him his own resonance elsehwere in the series, but lending credence to why she would command respect and radiate such a presence with her intended mate. The sequence that bothered me in the book, the extended focus on the trials and tribulations of Sam and Frodo with Stinker, took up far too much room in its pacing, and on rereads offered itself more to skimming than enjoying of the story, something I had no dessire to do with other books I re-read regularly. For example the Thomas Covenant trilogies both have as much or more story and depth of history, but offer no underexplored regions. The first time I saw Liv as Arwen, it surprised me, since she so often before had played her characters young or struggling with their roles in their worlds. Here was an actress playing an Elvish princess with the weight of years that this child of the ages would show, but still the heartfelt feelings of the young are there, something that comes thru in the Elves more clearly in the Silmarillion, and another reason I am glad that PJ went so deeply into the story of the world Tolkien explored and journaled for us all to enjoy. Sure, not everyone will agree with his interpretation, nore will everyone agree with his choices for inclusion/exclusion, nore his glossing over sections of the novels we all love, but what he may have got wrong he got it wrong in the right way, by trying his damdest to do the best job I think could have been done. I shudder when i think of the animated Tolkien films and show, even though I did get a kick out of "Where there's a whip, there's a WAY!!!" from "Return of the King, the awful Lemmiwinks folk-singing elsewise found in the Rankin-Bass production takes away all the magic Bakshi found in his laborious attempt, which took longer than what we have seen happen with this live-action trilogy-entire. The visuals were great in that film, but the creativity of one person was not enough to sustain that effort. However this successsful telling had several things going for it: 1) lack of the suits being willing to fly to Kiwiland to stick their noses too far in, 2)a group of people who had learned HardKnockian physics with other productions down that way, and 3) a source material that had inspired musicains, artists, authors, and designers in their hildhoods to dream bigger and work harder when given the chance to bring forward this group of films. Perhaps it is best to make a movie like Dead-Alive first than a Warhol sci-fi film with minimalist set desgin that yielded nothing more than the name for a sound system 20+ years later. These films are unafraid to show the hard scenes, not willing to back away from things that would be controversial if the "It has to be for kids since that kind of book is not a serious adult work of literature" achool who would rather the movie depict a war where everyone fought with those giant Q-tips the Army aught hand to hand with, since kiddie movies should gloss everything over and disconnect kids from real concepts of life and the world they really live in to save their delicate little minds from harm. I personally believe that a lot of society's problems can be traced back to the GI Joe cartoons implying that one can always bail out of a palne even when it explodes around you with shrapnel and fuel. All those Lonney Tunes being edited for Fudd debilling Daffy or sylvester shredding his tail don;t make kids feel better about themselves or deal with life better, it just leads to "Jackass"-type stunts beause the kids are really surprised when they jump from a rood and it hurts when they hit the ground, since WileE doesn;t even get accordioned half the time on those mideigthies, early 90's edits of the cartoons. Frigging Ted Turnerand his censor-Nazi kindred spirits mucking around with things becasue the new times are more progressive and we mustn;t taint our kids the way previous generations of Americans were. Meanwhile the culture is rampant with crime, disease, and poverty, while the inmates are giving shock treatments to the sane people passing by on the streets outside their asylum. Let these films tell their tale. If at the end you cannot appreciate the two-ton monster of fun they were, then I hope you can find something more to your taste.

  • July 4, 2003, 8:50 a.m. CST

    Banky you bastard

    by earthworm

    You realise what you've done? I give it three hours before the tedious catchphrasers show themselves and you've gone and given them another one. Anyway, can't stop, just nipping out...for a kill. Aaaarrrgh.

  • July 4, 2003, 8:55 a.m. CST

    morGoth, re the warg riders

    by Miami Mofo

    From 'Flotsam and Jetsam': Merry describing Saruman's army: "He emptied Isengard. I saw the enemy go: endless lines of marching Orcs; and troops of them mounted on great wolves." Therefore the warg riders is NOT completely a P.J. invention. On the other hand, nowhere in that chapter does Pippin say: "And then I tricked that stupid Treebeard into attacking Isengard." That was the one glaring weakness to me -- something that I hope is addressed in the T2T Extended Edition DVD.

  • July 4, 2003, 8:56 a.m. CST

    ROTK Trailer

    by Mentat

    For the love of god, when is the trailler going to be released!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • July 4, 2003, 9:07 a.m. CST


    by earthworm

    Are also mentioned in The Hobbit, where if I remember rightly, they can talk as well. FWIW, my biggest complaint is the proximity of Mordor. In the books, it's an eternity away, a hopeless task compounded by the sheer distance between the hobbits and their goal. In the film TTT it's close enough to see. Takes a little of the tension away. But thats just me.

  • July 4, 2003, 9:13 a.m. CST

    lucky bastard

    by BobBloodfeast

    Must be nice!

  • July 4, 2003, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Yet Another Industry Killer Comment

    by sambrook

    If Christopher Lee, a man who read these books at the time of publication, a man who re-reads them at least once a year, a man who actually met Tolkien himself, can not only accept the changes in the story but embrace them by acting in the trilogy then raving about the quality of the films and the stories in them at every given opportunity, then I think the rest of us can move past the books and accept the films for what they are. We are in the middle of what could possible turn out to be the greatest trilogy of all time, we should revel in that. Personally, I cannot wait for the film. 5 months, 13 days...

  • July 4, 2003, 10:06 a.m. CST

    Just one more thing...

    by sambrook

    Let's not forget that the character of Sauraman was changed an awful lot from the books - his costume, his fate, his importance... in fact his character was given even more of an overhaul than Arwen who was just given more prominance - her character, from the little we know from the books, stayed the same. And Christopher Lee had no problems with this.

  • July 4, 2003, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Nice Quint - but re-shoots worth the suit, man? THE SUIT!

    by WeedyMcSmokey

    That truly is an iconoclast piece of geek-lore, or Coen-lore. Anyway, I just finished selling 90 DVDs that I had searched high and low for over the past three years. Not nearly as painful, but rest assured that I used the money to buy drugs. Lots of drugs. Return of the King will approximate the end of Two Towers (the book) and the ROTK book - mostly I thnk because (as someone pointed out) the ROTK book is desperately short and mostly involves one battle and Sam and Frodo in Mordor - so they needed more material. Enter Shelob, I guess. I just want the opportunity to watch all three back to back to back in the SEV editions. That should be a good waste of a day. I'll order Chinese. Only then will I know whether or not these movies are the centuries first true epics, or just a lot of short people crying and pontificating - then running and crying some more.

  • July 4, 2003, 10:21 a.m. CST

    I'm still, jealous as hell, Quint...

    by Dog Of Mystery

    But I'm more happy for you than anything else. Glorious, lucky bastard... PS: IndustryKiller is still a chode.

  • July 4, 2003, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Yea, verily...

    by Devil'sOwn

    Quint, sorry to hear about your collection, man. That's tough. But I definately envy you. Eyes on the prize man, eyes... on... the<sniffle>... prize. I think Hugo Weaving is an awesome actor. Nobody, but nobody(okay, maybe Randy "Macho Man" Savage) could portray the contempt for humans he had as Agent Smith and Elrond. If I wasn't certain he had a snowball's chance in hell of getting it, I'd campain for him to be cast in a Sub-Mariner mivie. I ofcourse love the books and the movies. Disappointment has never been a factor for me. To say I'm looking forward to RotK is a grand understatement. Happy Fourth, my Brothers.

  • July 4, 2003, 11:30 a.m. CST

    Best of luck Quint,

    by Conan_the_Humble

    You shoud try and check out a Rugby match while you're in New Zealand. The tri-nations (Australia vs New Zealand vs South Africa) Rugby competition is starting very soon and short of the World Cup, is the best Rugby you will ever see. You might have some difficulty understanding it, even those of us who play it have some difficulty... But it is a fantastic game, the 2nd most widely played football game behind Soccer. It's otherwise known as 'the game they play in Heaven'... Oh and we wants some ROTK spoilers precious, oh yes we wants them!!! Cheers.

  • July 4, 2003, 11:33 a.m. CST

    You Motherfucker........ You sold the dude's suit. You suck ball

    by I_Got_Mad_Gritz

    First off, How the fuck did you get you're grimy hands on an amazing piece of film history like the Dude's fucking suit? Secondlly, How the fuck could you sell it? Even if you get to see ROTK stuff. Memories fade Mofo. Are you on crack? You have balls the size if El Paso.

  • July 4, 2003, 11:34 a.m. CST


    by Nickelpig

    "I'm a poor writer"

  • July 4, 2003, 11:38 a.m. CST


    by sambrook

    I'm not saying Industry Killer isn't entitled to his oinion, far from it. His point wasn't that he merely enjoyed the books more, he was attacking the films for not being exactly as the books are. All I was saying is that, yes we can compare the films and books, but at the end of the day they are two seperate forms of entertainment being created by two different creative people who add their own personal touch to the story. They films may have been a disappointment to him but I don't think we can attack the films for not being the books plastered onto the big screen. We only have to look at the flat Harry potter films to see what happens when people just copy the book out word-for-word and film.

  • July 4, 2003, 11:41 a.m. CST


    by Nickelpig

    just messin' with you quint. have fun in new zealand, you lucky bastard.

  • July 4, 2003, 11:41 a.m. CST


    by sambrook

    I apologise if any of what I said came off as hostile. It was meant more as a counter-point. And I agree that this forum would be a far better place if it encouraged debate rather than stupid catchphrases that are done to death, dug up from their grave, then raped a bit more.

  • July 4, 2003, 11:46 a.m. CST

    Well, at least you have your priorities in line

    by 007-11

    Still, the Dude's suit, damn that's a bitter pill to swallow. And that 35mm was probably pretty sweet too. I hope Peter Jackson makes it worth your sacrifice.

  • July 4, 2003, 12:57 p.m. CST

    All I Want to Know is...

    by BuggerOff

    Did anyone see "Dumb and Dumberer"? I suspect the ENTIRE box office was a result of the advertising on this site. Am I wrong?

  • July 4, 2003, 1:32 p.m. CST

    Actually my point WAS that I merely enjoyed the books more

    by IndustryKiller

    So much so that it effects my enjoyment of the films. I realize that I am in the minority and that I might in fact just be plain wrong. In fact I admit they are great movies, just not what I personally needed them to be. Let me reiterate teh "I personally." I want to let it go so bad but I just can't do it. Maybe I was just expecting the films to be something they aren't, wish I hadn't because you guys are getting alot of happiness from these movies and there are few things in the world I love more than feeling that way about a film.

  • July 4, 2003, 1:55 p.m. CST

    I bet I know exactly what Christopher Lee is thinking...

    by T-MACK 1.01

    He must be damn glad to be in New Zealand right now, shooting the ROTK reshoots. Actually, I bet he is beggig Peter Jackson to reshoot his reshoots. Why? Because later this month he heads off to Sydney to film for Lucas. Lee's going to miss Middle Earth and the Jackson crew, because soon he's going to be hung up in blue screen trying to imagine all the sets and shit. And all I know is Peter Jackson is a brilliant filmmaker, and I'm sure he'll make ROTK great.

  • July 4, 2003, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Your priorities are shot to shit, little boy!

    by user id indeed!

    It goes: you sell your car, then your family, then your body (prostitution), then your body again (lab experiments), then your carcass to science, THEN you sell everything EXCEPT JEFFREY LEBOWSKI'S WHITE JUMPSUIT!!!! I'll bet you sold it to a grimy little kid, didn't you?! I'll bet he had chocolate and snot and dogshit all over his hands, and as soon as you sold it to him he just wiped it all on the Dude's suit, didn't he?!? DIDN'T HE!?!? Somewhere, Donny is crying. You made Donny cry, you Eggo-eating fuck.

  • July 4, 2003, 2:29 p.m. CST

    You rotten T-word flinging barsets!

    by Skyway Moaters

    ... Fister handed TATOW back over to me (er, actually to Abel Goodparley, who goes by the AICN handle, "Pontsing Barset", so look out for him, and as Fister might have said: "You bes just keap outen his wayt when he gets ascited". But Abel is, um, 'indisposed' at the moment so the rant duties fall to me for the time being), befor he roadit out with your Aunty. So for what is mos surely not the las tyme: IT AINT A FRIGGIN TRILOGY! *** Im looking forwarts with great ants ticip tation to your NZ reports QUINT! - You LUCKY crookit littl barset! er, semen, er, SEAMAN...

  • July 4, 2003, 2:31 p.m. CST

    There's no talkback yet for VAN HELSING, so I'll mention it here

    by FrankDrebin

    Kevin J. O'Connor (Benny from THE MUMMY, and the stoned sidekick from DEEP RISING) plays Igor. I think Marty Feldman ("Abby someone... Abby Normal.") would approve.

  • Quint y'bastard, never liked ya! ......JasonDikEldar - WTF are you rambling on about? And IndustryKiller I've never heard such half-hearted, whimsical, unconvincing negativity ever before...ask yourself why you're hangin around in LOTR talkbacks? In fact...why the fuck am I in here? Fuck this....I'm off........for a kill! fuck!

  • July 4, 2003, 2:54 p.m. CST

    I expect little from ROTK

    by lush

    Which is really unfortunate considering how much I enjoy Fellowship. Unfortunately Peter Jackson somehow blew it with the two towers and I imagine he will blow it even more with this last installment. It seems as if somewhere halfway through two towers he realized he had bitten off more than he could chew and the film degenerates from there. I suspect the same will be true for ROTK. Will they even have sharky? How about Sam putting on the ring? I know I can't ask for everything, but shit, these are big scenes! By the by christopher lee is a shitty actor.

  • July 4, 2003, 2:59 p.m. CST

    it`s incredible ...the tb is in right order...

    by drjones

    congrats quint!!! i mean this is really a story of a dream come true. and it gives me courage and hope that this can even happen to everyone of us...maybe

  • Seriously. I couldn't help that at all. I'd just stand there with a tape recorder and say "Ok, I want you to record a message for me but say 'Mr. Anderson, leave a message' about a bajillion times."

  • July 4, 2003, 4:54 p.m. CST

    Everyone's favorite crusty old semen...

    by Jopapa

    I couldn't resist

  • July 4, 2003, 5:39 p.m. CST

    QUINT'S 2ND REPORT AT # 15594

    by Miami Mofo

    That one is really great!

  • July 4, 2003, 6:41 p.m. CST

    Deep Throat,,,that takes me back a few years

    by Carl w/ a 'K'

    my pa had a copy in one of his filing cabnits and when i was in grade three, I found it and showed it to all my friends...that was classic cinema...a woman whose clitoris was located at the back of her may be emotionally scarring for impressionable grade school children, but you never forget male or female, young or have to see this great movie, but good luck finding it, its super rare.

  • July 4, 2003, 8:54 p.m. CST

    New tb already!

    by elanor

    On the road again! 15594

  • July 5, 2003, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Return of the what?

    by mascan

    I'm sensing a lack of anticipation on the part of the theaters. Last night, I saw a one-sheet for ROTK at my local multiplex, with an electronic sign saying: LORD OF THE RINGS - THE RETURN OF THE RING. They can't even be bothered to read the poster.

  • July 5, 2003, 2:46 p.m. CST

    Yes, Devil's Own!

    by Wingnut1A

    Hugo Weaving would be a fantastic choice to play the Sub-Mariner!

  • July 7, 2003, 9:23 p.m. CST

    Industry Killer!

    by 900LBGorilla

    Hey guys lighten the fuck up on Industry Killer!, he's actually VERY right in that some of the changes seemed silly and arbitrary...some even dumb...A bomb in the otherwise kickass Helms Deep battle anyone....anyone? Some of the changes improve on the books (for me) like making the Non- Hobbits more main characters and showing more of what gandalf does instead of JRRs way of going through Gandaldfs solo battles as pure exposition on the part of big "G"... But for one who loves the books being disapopointed at silly changes is VERY valid...but of all the cuts, I say thank you PJ for no Tom Bomb-a dum-bo...

  • July 7, 2003, 9:38 p.m. CST

    Orions Angel

    by 900LBGorilla

    OK I'm taking the bait...sorry guys, but Orion A) What the fuck are you talking about the Gay-trix for on a LOTR talkback? You aren't even using the "LOTR sux compared to" tactic. B) I beleive you were not pumped for Matrix #1 about as much as I beleive Monica never "inhaled" C) To much CG SUUUUUUCKS AAASSSSS...CG in itself is not bad...When spliced with models/robotics when appropriate, the effect is unbeatable (Jurassic Park I for example was AWESOME and looked WAY better than J-II because in II they just stuck with CG on the close ups with real actors...which looks sooo...well FAKE. Just like Blade II going CG when they could have stuck with stunts...they took the easy way out ...or at least the dumb way out...watching an obviously CG blade chucked into a door does NOT make one go "Woaah" makes you go..." fake". CG is a big problem NOT because it is being used...but because it is many times being WAY over-used. In the right circumstances CG is the best thing since surround sound...over and incorrectly used it outright hurts the story...and what a shame that ruin a cool scene out of stupidity... D)The Terminator action scenes kicked the pants off the matrix III action scenes...because M-II had sooo much meaningless action...(oracle body guard boy vs. Neo anyone), and a lot of "goes nowhere/no one gets hurt action...see the above and 500 rubber agents Vs. Neo (he couldn't kill 1 agent smith...oh cause this is a cartoon now)...yeah the sound was cool...too bad the visuals were not...Matrix 1 kicked ass like nop movie I'd seen in half a decade...Matrix reloaded...was far inferior to say the least...too bad cause it could have kicked ass...

  • July 8, 2003, 10 a.m. CST

    Quint, Dude...

    by mortsleam

    If you had just TOLD US why you needed the mopney, we all would've gladly chipped in. You didn't have to seel the suit. S'all I'm sayin', yo.