Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...

Shame on you. All of you. Not everyone reading this, of course, since most of you are sane, normal, law-abiding citizens. I’m speaking directly to that percentage of Internet users who simply can’t exhibit a modicum of self-control, who feel the need to pirate films at the absolute first second they possibly can, and specifically... I’m speaking to the person who leaked the workprint of Universal’s HULK in the first place. Shame on you.

We live in an age where people love to pretend that issues of copyright law are “grey” and “indistinct.” People play coy about whether or not they’re really pirating material when they trade films over the Internet. People justify their decision to bootleg movies in a million different ways, and I’ve heard every excuse you can come up with. And still I say... shame on you.

This weekend, thanks to BitTorrent users and Kazaa users and IRC traders, HULK has been traded freely. The print that they’re exchanging using their particular P2P software of choice is an unfinished workprint. The effects, one of the things every one of the so-called “reviewers” who wrote in complained about, were not fully rendered. As a result, I’m left looking at a mailbox full of completely useless drivel that’s supposed to pass as “criticism.”

Here are a few of the sterling examples of what we were sent over the weekend:

Right now, even with the CGI not done, I thought that Hulk moved too unrealistically. You can blatently see what is CGI, and it seems that they used some of the crappier (building jumping scenes come to mind) Spiderman motion captures to have Hulk jumping in the desert. The workprint I watched also didn't have many effects of impact, outside of a cloud of dust when Hulk landed. You would think that however many tons he is, jumping miles in both distance and height would kick up more then a speck of dust.

Thanks, “BTreado,” for that. Considering you’re looking at unfinished work, how can you tell me how it looks? And why would you want to break down and watch the film this close to release? Are you that unable to wait? I like how “JackFrost” spent nearly 2,000 words discussing the film before he actually gets around to saying:

I can say a lot more, but I need to see this again, on the big screen to truly appreciate this film.

Uh... yeah. Duh. What blows me away is how Brad Miska, editor of BLOODY-DISGUSTING, would choose to post a review using his real name. Brad... buddy... IT IS ILLEGAL TO DOWNLOAD FILMS. And I can maybe understand the exuberance of someone who saw the workprint and loved it and just wanted to rant and rave about it. But you say the film was “aweful” and “rediculous,” and you chose to piss all over it. For what? Just to brag that you’ve seen an illegally obtained copy that wasn’t done? Congratulations.

Overall, I think I’m just disappointed in so-called fandom. Maybe it’s because I spend all my time working right now to create material which, god willing, you’ll be seeing in a theater next fall or the following summer. In talking with the other people involved, I know exactly how hard we plan to work to make something you haven’t seen before. There’s a huge difference between someone seeing a test screening of something that’s being show to gauge audience reaction (a process that many people blame AICN for corrupting or even ruining) and watching stolen material that is simply not ready to be seen, and not meant to be viewed by the general public.

And to those of you who wrote to say, “Hey, don’t blame me... I’m just watching it,” you need to realize that you’re part of the problem. Films like HULK cost an enormous amount of money, and if the film’s box-office is damaged because of this workprint leak, then it’s going to mean that next time a studio is considering a giant-budget investment on a film that appeals directly to the geek audience, the same audience that seems to be genetically unable to resist breaking the law in order to see something thirty seconds early, then maybe they won’t take that chance. After all... what’s the point?

Now let’s see all the pirates try to justify their position in the talkback. Seriously... let’s see how you explain that what you do isn’t wrong, or you’re not hurting anyone, or the studios have enough money. I look forward to reading how you can tapdance around the basic issue here, which is that you are thieves, and you’re damaging the industry I love with your actions.

So I’ll say it again... and I mean it... shame on you.

"Moriarty" out.