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Review

2 FAST 2 FURIOUS review

2 FAST 2 FURIOUS is goofy fun. Is it better than THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS, well…

I liked THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS, but recognized that it had all sorts of problems… like how I didn’t really care for any characters, how I hated Paul Walker, how I didn’t like Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster’s relationship at all. Also, I didn’t really care for the story, but I loved the cars and the car scenes and this was a Carsploitation flick, so that is the most important aspect of the film. This was a ‘B’ movie, without a doubt, and it relished in being cheap cheesy fun. And that final semi attempted robbery was frickin’ awesome. That’s just a great highway sequence where you completely feel the speed, the adrenaline and the fear of the situation.

2 FAST 2 FURIOUS has looked like a piece of shit from the trailers for a while now. No Vin Diesel, who was my favorite character from the original. A selection of actors that I didn’t really have any opinion on, but directed by John Singleton – whose SHAFT was quite a bit of fun, but this film doesn’t have the benefits of a Sam Jackson.

It’s strange, when I walked into FAST AND THE FURIOUS originally, I thought I was going to be miserable. Tuesday night, when I walked into 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS – I thought that I was going to be miserable.

The plot is fairly simple... the cops get the drop on Paul Walker - twist his arm into helping to catch bad guy again, but he needs a partner. He recruits his best friend from childhood, who is also a crazy speed loving car driver played by Tyrese. Stuck between asshole cops and asshole bad guys - there's only one thing two guys stuck between a pair of foul assholes can do. Or maybe two or three or four, but I've never been stuck between so many assholes as there are here. But it seems old hat for these two as they line up their angles and aim for the crack... in the plan and well... you don't want it all do ya? Tough, see it.

I wasn’t expecting to love Tyrese’s character as much as I did. He plays an old friend of Paul Walker’s character, that there’s a history between – which of course they’ll work out, but the point is… Tyrese is so good in the film that he actually makes Paul Walker seem alive when they are both on screen. There’s genuine charisma there. In fact… there’s a ton of homo-eroticism between the two.

In the film, they’re technically aggressively heterosexual, but personally I think that’s just covering their true feelings. The only thing keeping these two guys straight is the fear that while Brian O’Conner is polishing Roman Pearce’s rod, that Roman would slug him in the arm and call him, “Fag!” They don’t play their friendship so much as old friends, but like old lovers that never consummated. They’ve got all these tacky comments that come across as jealousy. When Paul Walker is checking out Eva Mendes and Tyrese catches him, he denies it like… he wouldn’t be doing that. What the hell is wrong with just admitting you’re checking out a fine woman like Eva Mendes? Not a thing, but there Tyrese is, always trying to tear down their relation. The way Paul Walker is always keeping his eyes on what Tyrese is doing, and smiling with affection in his eyes – much the same way as when Moriarty looks at me.

It probably reaches full obvious mode in their rasslin’ scene as these two gals are rolling in the dirt completely all over one another, bumping and grinding… getting all dirty, then Thom Barry’s Agent Bilkins just watches with glee… Ah, two grown men feeling each other out. It Really Does Play Like That!

Then there’s the “Blouse” scene.

Suffice to say, 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS is probably one of the best questionable sexuality drinking game movies ever made. Take a drink everytime you think Paul Walker and Tyrese are about to kiss… You’ll get seriously fucked up.

That to the side, this sort of familiarity between two men, is also related to very close friendships, and that works very well. The constant back and forth is very good, and any scene with Tyrese without the blank stare of lust from Paul Walker… he shines. Tyrese is a major star, he’s going to be very big. His charisma in this film is unquestionable. This and BABY BOY are two wonderful roles, it’ll be interesting to see what he does outside of Singleton or MTV.

How are the CAR scenes? No where near as good as the first film. They’re ok scenes, they’re just not as inventive, dangerous or as thrilling as in the first flick. Nothing comes close to the reckless abandon of the highlight scene of the first film. Here though, I have to say I really love the psychedelic warp that happens to the backgrounds that the cars are moving past… beginning at 80 miles an hour.

I used to have an old 1978 Green Cadillac that I drove in High School at speeds exceeding 140 mph, the one time a cop clocked me, I was at 142 mph. “I’m late to school officer!” Hehehe… Anyway, the point is, at 140 mph, my background going around me never started getting all groovy and psychedelic… THOUGH I WISH, but I’d never drive at these speeds on shrooms or acid, and thanks to 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS you don’t have to drive at 90mph on shrooms or acid. You can just sit in a theater on shrooms and acid and go, “Trip…. Peeeee” and get all Pauly Shore with your bad self.

Ok, what about hot women?

There’s all sorts of hot women in this movie. They’re all in highly revealing eye-candy outfits. In particular, Devon Aoki as Suki. She is like a crazy hot Anime chick. She is very scrumdiddliumptious… and that final outfit of hers with the mid – hip high boots was just yum from boot heel to crotch. Make Devon’s hair white and do the live action Taarna movie! Yes please!

The audience I saw this with had a good time, and many of the other critics at the screening gathered in the lobby and out front to talk about how surprised they were that it wasn’t a piece of shit. A very fun flick, too bad the car action isn’t as cool as in the original, but I have to add… I love the two old school muscle cars… they kick those neon Hot Wheels bs cars’ ass! Just the way I see it!

Readers Talkback
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  • June 6, 2003, 4:16 a.m. CST

    Pah!

    by Old Peculiar

    Well if the car action is worst than the first movie, what's the point? To look at women I guess.

  • June 6, 2003, 4:18 a.m. CST

    Devon Aoki is one freaky looking chick

    by darthflagg

    She may well look like a live action anime character, and that scares me.

  • June 6, 2003, 4:25 a.m. CST

    Eva Mendes and Devon Aoki

    by JimmyRabbit

    Yummie!!! I'm there and so will you, don't deny it. This a SUMMER movie as it's supposed to be: fun, sunny, hot women, beach, cars, bad plot.:)

  • June 6, 2003, 4:47 a.m. CST

    Harry is 2 FAY & 2 CURIOUS

    by KOBE-WAN

    Was this a review of the movie or Harry debating his sexuality? We get paragraphs of Harry goin' ape sh*t about Tyrese and Paul Walker gettin' it on. Damn, I thought I was reading Richard Chamberlain's autobiography for a second.

  • June 6, 2003, 5:02 a.m. CST

    Harrys gay for them

    by caatwatch6

    Well no good car footage and no Vin might spell doom for this franchise. 98% of the people that saw the first one was cause of Vin Diesel. He was the only real draw for that movie. I mean in the trailer they had Ja Rule in it and he was in movie for like 3 minutes and had like 4 lines. I saw the first one and wasn't really impressed. I'm not going to see this one at all. :-P

  • June 6, 2003, 5:05 a.m. CST

    Shaft (the new one) was WEAK!

    by awanashi

    I mean he didn't even get laid!!!That was just TOTALLY wrong for them to make a Shaft movie where he didn't get any action. How could they even think about doing that?!? He's the black private dick who's the SEX MACHINE TO ALL THE CHICKS, for chrissakes! Richard Roundtree kicked ass...

  • June 6, 2003, 5:48 a.m. CST

    yawn

    by Heleno

    Hmm, there's a conversational topic. Best Homo Erotic Friendship. Let's think - Dude, where's my car? (well, they do make out), Fellowship of the Ring, Neo and morpheus, POint Break, and of course the grand old classic, Top Gun, where Goose and iceman compete for Maverick's affections.

  • June 6, 2003, 6:10 a.m. CST

    okay, that settles it...

    by fett's_mouthwash

    harry's reviews have gone from slightly legitimate pieces to just being written for the purpose of getting a full-blown reaction out of us. and it works! there's no reviews i'd rather read other than his. harry, i love you.

  • June 6, 2003, 6:11 a.m. CST

    Wow, first Richard Chamberlain...

    by KID AB

    ...and now Harry's on the verge. I hope Father Geek knows his 'Secret'.

  • June 6, 2003, 6:14 a.m. CST

    142 mph????

    by stackpointer

    Hard to believe, but sounds good.

  • June 6, 2003, 6:53 a.m. CST

    Dawn Syndrome

    by CuervoJones

  • June 6, 2003, 6:55 a.m. CST

    2 Fast will at least be better than the huge pile of shit known

    by Atticus Finch

    Reloaded will go down as thee biggest disappointment of the summer, maybe of all time. It'll make 2 Fast look like Best Film material!

  • June 6, 2003, 6:57 a.m. CST

    THE ONLY QUESTION

    by Jabbathenutt

    do any dead deers get tag-team raped by Paul Walker and Tyrese?

  • June 6, 2003, 7:22 a.m. CST

    ANother Stupid Review

    by Rcamacho2278

    IS THIS what a review is supposed to sound like? Where most of the time is spent talking about the possible homo sexual relationship between paul walker and tyrese? Then come up with a game about it. LEts not talk about the plot, Or the acting, Or the effects, no lets talk about how Gay they can be. THESE FUCKEN STUPID REVIEWS ARE OUT OF CONTROL. coming from someone who thought the matrix sucked cuz it didnt have vampires and werewolves and still hasnt apologized for such a stupid remark.

  • June 6, 2003, 7:31 a.m. CST

    HARRY'S DRINKING GAME = DATE RAPE

    by KOBE-WAN

    "Take a drink everytime you think Paul Walker and Tyrese are about to kiss

  • June 6, 2003, 8:20 a.m. CST

    Total Garbage!

    by Karl Childers

    'Nuff said!

  • June 6, 2003, 8:25 a.m. CST

    The fact that they spelled it 2 fast 2 furious is enough to keep

    by Jon Lee Ander

    Did they get a couple of semi-literate 13 year olds to write this or what? "Yeah, mizpelling is jus 2 kewl!"

  • June 6, 2003, 8:36 a.m. CST

    you know Boxoffice guru is preidicting a $50 milllion opening

    by Jon Lee Ander

    depressingly, they'll probably be right.

  • June 6, 2003, 8:58 a.m. CST

    My Honest Review....Not Like Harry's Universal Funded Review

    by Mr. Profit

    I went to a Universal screening last night of 2 Fast 2 Furious. Well, it wasn't as good as the first one but the story was better. Huh? How does that happen? Yes the story this time around is better, but it's anti-climactic ending and waste of Cole Hauser was disappointing. I'll get back to that. Paul Walker is now a new matinee idol, as long as he doesn't speak much. I have come to the realization that the wooden actor won't go away. The script is pretty weak, Paul says, "How You Like Them Apples", not once, but twice. The script needed more work on the dialog. Tyrese steals scenes, and was good. Ludacris was surprisingly good. And even though Devon Aoki was like those female characters in race car videogames with the pink car that drives wack, she played her part well. I just noticed no full body shots of her, is it because she's so skinny? She's weird looking though. The car chases and scenes are good. But after "Reloaded" car chases now need to be incredible. But still better than your average car chase film. There were a lot of stereotypes. That latino "heavy accent" guy was cringe worthy in the beginning. And why in Little Haiti they had Jamaican accents? The target audience (young males)won't care either way though. Now to Eva Mendes. She was miscast and weak. When you remember 106 and Park "Freestyle Friday" Winner Jin The MC more in his small role than Eva. Something is terribly wrong. All I remember was how hot she looked poolside with the tan and shades. But she really didn't offer much. Where was Roselyn Sanchez when you need her? And the music in the film was all over the place. The only good song was the David Banner "Like A Pimp" song that played at the beginning. How can you have a Miami car racing movie without even paying an homage to the new school classic Grand Theft Auto: Vice City? No car chases set to Joe Jackson's Stepping Out? No, but we get the ubiquitous Joe Budden Pump It Up song, not once, but twice. I hate that friggin song. Now the ending, I won't say anything to spoil it. But I am just going to say where was the "Face Off" like boat chase? I was expecting one, but then we get some Dukes of Hazard like crap that leaves you saying "Yeah right!" Again, the target audience will probably like it and say that they can't wait for "3 Times Faster and more Furious-er" coming Summer 2004. Becuase my friends, there will be a sequel. Cole Hauser has one good scene with a rat, tin bucket, and a torch. But then no fight between him and Paul at the end. Whatever. The film was just OK, but if there is a part 3, let McG or someone else direct it. John Singleton thinks he is some kind of directing God. Or like he says in this month's Source Magazine "The Best Hip Hop Film Maker" Yeah OK. John Singleton is too wrapped up in his own ego to even think of trying to tie the 2 films together. Try making a better movie, because you wasted this one's potential for being a mindless fun summer movie like the 1st.

  • June 6, 2003, 8:59 a.m. CST

    Words fail me

    by kentrel

    What is this? Where is the review? Where's the critique of the acting? Where's the discussion of the writing? Where's the commentary on the plot? Where's the weapons of mass destruction? Where's Wally?

  • June 6, 2003, 9:22 a.m. CST

    2 Fast 2 Video

    by Lost Skeleton

    I didn't see the first one and I am not going to see this pile of shit either. Singleton wasted his load on Boys in the Hood. Shaft sucked and Baby Boy was stupid. Tyrease needs to stick to acting because he can't make a complete album at all. And another thing, Harry,dead raped dear, Tyrease and Paul Walker getting it on...Man are you fucked! You don't have a dismembered body sitting in your room do you? Die Atticus Finch!

  • June 6, 2003, 9:31 a.m. CST

    And again, the comparisons to Reloaded...

    by minderbinder

    So when do we get the Rugrats review with the obligitory "this will blow away Reloaded" TB comment?

  • June 6, 2003, 9:43 a.m. CST

    This Will Blow Reloaded Away....

    by Mr. Profit

    Why do people hate Reloaded so much? Jesus, do people not want to think and use their brains at the multiplex anymore? You act like Reloaded was worst than the last 2 Star Wars movies.

  • June 6, 2003, 9:49 a.m. CST

    I'm so sick of these Matrix bashers

    by Lost Skeleton

    I saw the Animatrix last night...Fucking brillant stuff. In the beginning, man created machine, and it was good. Then, man created machine in his own image...and quickly became the arithect (sp?) of his own demise. Elements of I, Robot and A.I. Fucking great! oh yea, in case I forgot, DIE ATTICUS FINCH AND ALL YOU MATRIX-BASHERS, Fucking stupid-ass dickheads!

  • June 6, 2003, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Was it as homoerotic as last night's MTV music awards?

    by Tarl_Cabot

    Boy Justin Timberlake and that guy with 3 names...get a room dudes...Anyway, classic review Harry, I'm sure Paul Walker is horrified.LOL! Maybe he should have signed the Superman deal so he could wear those blue spandexsth tightsths! ;)

  • June 6, 2003, 10:22 a.m. CST

    Are They Trying to Make Paul Walker African-American?

    by Karl Childers

    http://www.cinescape.com/multimedia/Master_Site/Movies/Master_SiteArticle286927.jpg

  • June 6, 2003, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Matrix bashers

    by Tarl_Cabot

    Are just Star Wars geeks getting revenge for all the shit they heard about those goddamn awful prequels.

  • June 6, 2003, 10:25 a.m. CST

    It scares me how many celebrities exist that I never heard of...

    by Tarl_Cabot

    This guy looks about 8 years younger than Paul Walker-they are supposed to be childhood friends? The first movie was crap but at least Vin Deisil was in it.

  • June 6, 2003, 10:29 a.m. CST

    Heleno - some more

    by WeedyMcSmokey

    Spartacus, Every single Kevin Smith movie (Ben Affleck and Jason Lee, Ben Affleck and...uh... Jason Lee, Affleck and Damon) - Holy shit - can EVERY Affleck movie be included in this list - Good Will Hunting, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, The Anal Adventures of Rodney Rocket (not out, yet - hey, just like Ben!) - I guess the lesson here is that, all men have gay tendencies, its just that the ones that have the stronger tendencies are the ones that hit gay people and scream fag a lot :)

  • June 6, 2003, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Ben Affleck should play Scott Peterson in a TV Movie.

    by Mr. Profit

    I just thought this talkback needed a random post.

  • June 6, 2003, 10:59 a.m. CST

    That poor Cadillac

    by Fart_Master_Flex

    It had to carry around all that flabby girth!! Poor car.

  • June 6, 2003, 11:02 a.m. CST

    Every new review I read by Harry...

    by earthworm

    ...I get even more certain that his sole objective is to create Talkback fodder. Dead raped deer? abused women? Fuckmeat? Homoeroticism? I'll leave MR out of it this time. Ten'll get you one his next review says something like "This could really have done a toddler being gang raped by Rottweilers" or something along those lines. If this isn't the case I'll get even more worried.

  • June 6, 2003, 11:04 a.m. CST

    You may laugh, but Harry's very, very right...

    by Smilin'Jack Ruby

    This really is the most homoerotic movie where-you-think-the-two-male-leads-are-going-to-kiss-every-other-scene I've seen since "Fight Club."

  • June 6, 2003, 11:09 a.m. CST

    I Noticed How They Were With Each Other

    by Mr. Profit

    But talking about slobing another dude's knob is retarded Mr. Smiling Jack Ruby. You can't defend some of the reviews stupid statements. The fight in the dirt was obviously for the ladies in the audience. Not for people to start getting descriptive about latent repressed fantasies. "I don't see Angel and Spike would suck each other off if it weren't for their fangs" on Buffy reviews. Spike and Angel were acting the same way Paul and Tyrese were.

  • June 6, 2003, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Latinoreview.com

    by funktion3

    I mention the blatent homoeroticism of the movie in my review also, up at Latinoreview.com. BTW Harry, why no links to our website in you links section?

  • June 6, 2003, 11:19 a.m. CST

    Latinoreview.com

    by Mr. Profit

    But does your review have 3 paragraphs dedicated to that subject?

  • June 6, 2003, 11:24 a.m. CST

    latinoreview.com

    by funktion3

    hmmm, well no. Only one paragraph. Good point. There was one scene, in particular where I was scanning the theater, like, is anybody else seeing this?

  • June 6, 2003, 11:25 a.m. CST

    These movies are pure shit

    by John_Milner

    First one was so goddamned awful and unfortunately it added more fuel to the fucking stupid craze of taking a piece of shit Honda Civic, adding a giant metal spoiler in case that mighty 100 HP engine makes the car lift off the ground when it's racing Vipers and Vettes and putting those stupid "custom" headlights on the fornt (yeah "custom" when you and 10000 other idiots have the same headlight covers). I hope this movie tanks hard and helps eradicate the souped up import culture and the idiots who sit in a parking lot with their 4 cylinder shit boxes and look at their 4 cylinder engines like they were classic muscle cars, or even decent cars.

  • June 6, 2003, 11:27 a.m. CST

    I wanted this to be good

    by kidkosmic

    I want more car/stunt/racing films! So shoot me. I'd like to see a really, really good one though. Scott - http://www.killerstunts.com

  • June 6, 2003, 11:39 a.m. CST

    funktion3

    by Mr. Profit

    I just started writing for LReview too. I sent you an email.

  • June 6, 2003, 11:51 a.m. CST

    fast and furious movies

    by fun guy

    The first one of these was real good. I'd say it was not as good as the first The Matrix movie because the fast and furious movie was a lot dumber. There wasn't any philosophy or religion things in it to make you think. I bet this new fast and furious movie is better than the new The matrix movie though. Speaking of that, they should have got Vin Diesel to be in the new Matrix movies.

  • June 6, 2003, 12:06 p.m. CST

    Lanpb01

    by Tarl_Cabot

    I liked The Matrix Reloaded just fine.My expectations were reasonable. It didn't blow me away but I thought it was a good movie; it had flaws but there was enough for me to like in it that the film paid off.The freeway chase is a classic. I can't wait for revolutions...I wonder why people think it was so bad?

  • June 6, 2003, 12:22 p.m. CST

    Tarl_Cabot I'll tell you why...

    by John_Milner

    I will tell you why I personally thought Reloaded was pants. First off, The Matrix was created to sell bullet time and wire fu and though it did have an interesting story, it wrapped itself up at the end. Bring in Reloaded and you have a movie that has fights just for the sake of fights and a plot that throws stuff into the mix just to stretch the series to number 3. Anyone who says "then you just don't get it" is an utter moron. These movies aren't some fucking renaissance of new thought. Yes I enjoyed the first one, the second one was just plain weak. The best part was the last 20 minutes and that's it. The car chase was overblown and WAY overhyped and the payoff wasn't there. I've seen bullet time and wire fu, so they put it on the top of a moving truck and that's supposed to impress me? I am looking forward to Revolutions, but I think the series peaked, and should have stopped, with the first film.

  • June 6, 2003, 12:23 p.m. CST

    2fast2quinlan

    by hank quinlan

    Singleton had like the one good movie in him. Boyz in the Hood. The rest of his films have been one shapeless mass of mediocrity after another. Now he wants to make action movies? Shaft was retched. I am holding out for Torque which I think will be much better. Still maaaaaaaaaybe this will be great fun. I certainly didn't expect to like the first one as much as I did. Really, I am gonna finally catch up and see Reloaded this weekend. I can finally have a fucking opinion on this one.

  • June 6, 2003, 12:26 p.m. CST

    I love how all The Matrix fanboys can't accept that people don't

    by Atticus Finch

    They have to come up with all these lame excuses, like the angry SW fan or nervous LOTR fan or didn't understand it. The movie sucks, everyone knows it, as evidenced by it's record-setting two week plunge at the BO. DEAL!

  • June 6, 2003, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Fun Guy, you are kidding right?

    by Lost Skeleton

    Vin Diesel in the Matrix? Vin fucking Diesel!! Are you kidding me? I read your stupid ass comment about Reloaded yesterday and I gave you a pass. Today, I am not in the mood. BEFORE I GET REALLY NASTY, DON'T FUCKING POST ANYTHING ABOUT THE MATRIX EVER!!! In fact, avoid anything with a fucking plot because you obviously can't handle it. Stick to crap like XXX and 2 Fast 2 Video. Stick to things you know like...Stupid car movies, domestic beer and Arena football. If I want a comment about the new Charlie's Angels flick or anything by Michael Bay, I will gladly respect your opinion. Just go see the stupid car movie with the bad Homo actors and enjoy your summer. But please, don't display anymore of that intellect again.

  • June 6, 2003, 1 p.m. CST

    John Milner: nice reply

    by Tarl_Cabot

    I agree that the first film peaked; maybe the Matrix should have been a stand alone film.Much like "Raiders of the lost ark", any sequel would be destined to be inferior and although I really enjoyed 'Temple' I know it's nowhere near 'Raiders'.There is a risk in making a sequel to a great film. I wish i never saw Predator 2, T2, Conan 2, and on and on...I think the SW prequels were a mistake.I also agree there were too many uncompelling fights in MR and the cheography was weak(the first fight with the agent opening his attack with a roundhouse kick was awful fighting strategy!).I also think The agents were marginalized. The first film set them up to be so threatening.They weren't a big deal this time...I still liked the film despite flaws.I hope Revolutions will be a great finally...

  • June 6, 2003, 1:03 p.m. CST

    Shon, buy a dictionary

    by Kieran

    You literally do not know the meaning of the word literally.

  • June 6, 2003, 1:10 p.m. CST

    I agree Tarl

    by Slab SquatThrust

    I liked Reloaded just fine; thought it was alot of fun. I honestly don't know what people are expecting...maybe that a good movie would cause them to spontaneously climax in their pants repeatedly without them having to go through the trouble of stroking their meat? Then they could wallow in their own luv-butter (sorry, couldn't resist) for the whole movie...

  • June 6, 2003, 1:11 p.m. CST

    guss

    by fun guy

    Hey buddy just because i'm not smart as you don't mean my opinion don't matter. As a matter of fact Vin Diesel is a good actor and has a lot of charisma unlike Keano Reeves. Keano Reeves virtually ruins every movie he's involved in. I have hated him since he ruined the Dracula movie. Vin Diesel would fit right in in the Matrix movies cause he's cool and that's really all that matters in the Matrix movies, whether you are cool or not. The Rock would also be good. The matrix movies are really no different than fast and furious movies because it's all about look and style and action. That deep substance that everybody thinks is philosophy is just empty, cool sounding dialogue serving no real purpose other than to make it sound like the people that wrote it are smart. They're not. They better get their act together or the matrix sequels will go the road of Star Wars, which has also been real disappointing in my opinion Guss.

  • June 6, 2003, 1:16 p.m. CST

    WERE NOT COMPLAINING THAT YOU THINK THE MATRIX WAS WEAK, WERE CO

    by Rcamacho2278

    matrix reloaded was hands down the Stupidest review I have ever read , and only focussed on his own opinion of what the movie should have been in his own mind, thats not what a review is. And here is further proof that his reviews Suck The biggest balls of them all, The fast and furious review where most of the time its spent talking about him analyzing how Gay paul walker looked. IF Roger Ebert gave reviews like that on his show, he would be fired on the spot. So why do people continue to support this guys stupid reviews?

  • June 6, 2003, 1:19 p.m. CST

    Matrix

    by John_Milner

    Tarl_Cabot, it's cool with me that you liked the film despite the flaws, that's what movies are about anyways, getting what you want from the story presented.

  • June 6, 2003, 1:23 p.m. CST

    i knew a guy.....

    by Dixie Normus

    who was sodomized by........of all things tyrese and paul walker. He also said it was thouroghly enjoyable.

  • June 6, 2003, 1:58 p.m. CST

    fun guy is right -- i can't believe i'm saying that!

    by ZombieChrist

    Hate to say it, but I pretty much agree with fun guy about Matrix being all about cool. (I don't agree that either Vin Diesel or The Rock should have been in it -- Vin is the New Mr. T; you can quote me on that. The Rock is... well, who knows? -- maybe the next governor of California.) The point being, The Matrix is about flash, image, eye-candy, and pseudo-intellectualism. It's a clever movie. There are nice literary touches in it. But is the movie literary? Hell no. And to repeat what I've said before, I'd bet my eye teeth that the Wachowskis never planned a trilogy. The Matrix is so obviously a stand-alone movie. The sequels don't advance the story at all. At least, MR doesn't. Maybe Revolutions will kick my ass and give me a whole new view. I hope so. Nevertheless, I found Reloaded to be a fun time at the theater. But is it deep? No. Is it great cinema? Come on. I think if I ever collect DVDs I'll just skip most sequels. I'd get Star Wars, but not any other SW movie. I'd get The Matrix, but not the other two. Has anyone played Enter the Matrix? Does it suck as bad as I heard? Last point: no way Harry went 142 in an old Cadillac. What was the speed rating on those tires, Knowles? http://www.zombiechrist.com

  • June 6, 2003, 2:27 p.m. CST

    Mr Smith

    by Tarl_Cabot

    If The Matrix Reloaded is such a POS and you know to get us sheep to consume all things Matrix then do us all a favor and make a better movie.Apparently Hollywood has no idea how to make a great original movie anymore. They can't hit a home run unless they are adapting a Comic book,an Epic trilogy of fantasy novels or going back to the well of tired franchises...

  • June 6, 2003, 2:41 p.m. CST

    MR SMITH: You equate your ability to make a great movie making a

    by Tarl_Cabot

    How about a great script? How about imagination? You don't need $100M to make a great movie unless you're giving 40% of it to the cast. Come up with a good story and hire unknowns...Matrix 1 had only 2 recognizable faces.

  • June 6, 2003, 2:52 p.m. CST

    Shaft!!!!!!!

    by AlwaysThere

    Now that shit was great.

  • June 6, 2003, 2:55 p.m. CST

    Devon Aoki is hot

    by ZombieChrist

    I imagine her sitting at home alone, lonely, listlessly reading AICN talkbacks and finding all these mean geeks whose attention she craves -- and they're all saying how freaky and anorexic-looking she is. Poor Devon! I will comfort you, my sweet. You are a beautiful young woman with EXOTIC good looks. Exotic, dearheart, not "freaky". Don't listen to them, they're fools. ZombieChrist will help you get over whatever psychological damage you have suffered at the hands of these talkbackers. (Now Mena Suvari, there's one freaky looking chick. I wouldn't touch her with my ten foot pole.) One more thing, dearest Devon, if you'd like to learn more about your adoring ZombieChrist, simply go to http://www.zombiechrist.com and our beautiful friendship will flower.

  • June 6, 2003, 3:01 p.m. CST

    Devon Aoki looks like the baby from Spirited Away

    by mojoflow

    Well, she does. Especially in those posters?

  • June 6, 2003, 3:06 p.m. CST

    I Agree, she gives me that good old deep down romantic feeling..

    by Dixie Normus

    where i would do anthing to bone her.

  • June 6, 2003, 3:15 p.m. CST

    First smart-ass comment that came to mind RIGHT after reading th

    by Shabbadoo

    "The audience I saw this with had a good time" -- Well, then it HAS to be good now. Harry, whenever you know everybody else is going to love the movie you're giving a negative review of (Goldmember, Reloaded), you say something like "And, and the crowd I was with hated it just as much as I did!" and now it looks like whenever you give a positive review of a movie you know everybody's going to hate (2 Fast, 2 Furious), you say something like "The audience I was with loved it, JUST LIKE MEEEE!" Doesn't help the credibility, man. Your taste in Summer movies worries me. You loved Reign of Fire and Minority Report bored you last year. This year you enjoyed the shit out of 2 Fast, 2 Furious and you were let down by Matrix: Reloaded. Come on!

  • June 6, 2003, 3:20 p.m. CST

    "2 Warewolves 2 Vampires"

    by mbaker

    That's what this movie should've been called!

  • June 6, 2003, 3:37 p.m. CST

    not to excuse the title, but "2 Fast 2 Furious" was the name of

    by Charles Grady

    No one ever seems to mention that.

  • June 6, 2003, 3:40 p.m. CST

    omg!

    by subooba

    i might actually watch this peice of crap movie.. whY? well it actually has good cars including viper/vette/mustang cobra R/yenko camaro/ and some old dodge. amazing line up which probably wont get nuff' screen time compared to the slow rice rockets. Infact i saw the vette/cobraR get blown up in the trailer. HOw lame!

  • June 6, 2003, 3:45 p.m. CST

    Devon Aoki

    by gopherkhan

    Fuckin freaky lookin ho if I do say so myself. Anime chick crossed with the face of a freaky old japanese man....eww. She's just in the film cause her dad owns Benihana. Film would have been much better if it had vampires and werewolves and a dead raped deer.

  • June 6, 2003, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Harry's Minority Report review

    by Tarl_Cabot

    Was perfect and that's why I still read so much of his bullshit reviews. Harry was dead on about that POS.It was a shallow movie with a stupid premise and a bland star. Tom Cruise is the most annoying actor working today. His idea of a piece de resistance acting job is to yell in that whiny, indignant voice of his like when he yells "Shit"! in RB or or "I want the truth"! in AFGM. I loathe him. I think the whole theater laughed him off the screen during that trailor for "the last (gay white) samurai" before Matrix Reloaded...

  • June 6, 2003, 3:53 p.m. CST

    MrSmith - if you're as ugly as you are dumb then you need your o

    by WeedyMcSmokey

    That's the problem with the computer age - people can type before they can think.

  • June 6, 2003, 3:55 p.m. CST

    I dont' think it is physically possible....

    by Dixie Normus

    but "the last(gay white) samurai" will both suck and blow at the same time.

  • June 6, 2003, 3:58 p.m. CST

    140 MPH is a bunch of BULL

    by roboslut

    Sorry, no way Harry got his car upt to 140. What a joke.

  • June 6, 2003, 4:20 p.m. CST

    It depends on what angle you're looking at Devon Aoki from

    by Terry_1978

    On the movie poster and those shots in the commericals, she looks downright decent, but I saw a few other pics of her online, and I swear to god if i saw her coming down a dark alley I'd be scared as all get out.

  • June 6, 2003, 4:20 p.m. CST

    I think "The last (gay white) Samurai" will suck and blow at the

    by Tarl_Cabot

    It stars Tom Cruiseth and it's a wanna be Dances with Wolves in japan. I will pay to see Cruise beheaded.

  • June 6, 2003, 4:23 p.m. CST

    Devon Aoki blows Gollum & Hulk out of the water...

    by Breck

    That's right, she's the greatest feat in computer artistry every because THERE IS NO WAY A REAL HUMAN BEING CAN LOOK THAT DAMNED FREAKY! And you idiots think she's hot?! You losers have been watching too much hentai.

  • June 6, 2003, 4:28 p.m. CST

    upon further review

    by Dixie Normus

    i agree with breck, that beeeyotch is freaky looking. i would rather rape a dead deer then bang that broad.

  • June 6, 2003, 4:45 p.m. CST

    I think you missed the point Smith

    by Slab SquatThrust

    We didn't enjoy Reloaded because we thought it was high art or that it expressed some ultimate truth about the human condition. We didn't see it for a subtle, nuanced performance that gives the viewer a new apreciation for life. And I, for one, know the difference between a pile of cow dung and a piece of art...which is, I think, the point. If you went into this or any number of other summer blockbusters expecting them to be works of art or to free your soul to soar to new hieghts then you will be disappointed. It's only a movie. Escapist entertainment. Marketing. And it's pretty fun too if you let yourself enjoy it. I mean, I love a nice piece of fillet mignon and a good cabernet, but sometimes a quarter-pounder really hits the spot!

  • June 6, 2003, 5:04 p.m. CST

    Funny how Harry 's writing "voice" on AICN sounds NOTHING like i

    by Charles Grady

    This review is the Harry we all know and love. Now go read his book. I defy you to tell me you hear even a trace of Knowles in that thing.

  • June 6, 2003, 5:32 p.m. CST

    bladerunner...

    by Slab SquatThrust

    well...you do have a point, and I didn't mean to imply that I thought it was "dumb fun". I do think it was both intellegent and creative, but it was also alot of fun! And it was more than just a "Royale with Cheese", but not quite fine dining. I just wanted to express to some of these impossible to please people out there to keep in mind that it doesn't HAVE to be the greatest film in the history of man to still be enjoyed. Oh, and to call Bruckheimer movies fast food is an insult to fast food! They are more like the crappy chili-dog you get at the corner convienience store/gas station.

  • June 6, 2003, 5:37 p.m. CST

    Jerry Bruckhiemer Flicks = Gas Station "Subway" Meat Ball Sandwh

    by Mr. Profit

  • June 6, 2003, 5:51 p.m. CST

    You're all fucking retarded

    by Mitch Cumstein

    The only reason I come here is to check on that freakish science experiment known as Harry and read your inane talk backs. Matrix Reloaded was miles above the original. Anyone who can't see that is not thinking rationaly. This site has become a joke, if it ever was to be taken seriously to begin with. It provides entertainment value, nothing more. Goodbye...

  • June 6, 2003, 6:04 p.m. CST

    oh, no...don't leave us!

    by Slab SquatThrust

    see ya' cum-stain--don't let the door hit you in the ass!

  • June 6, 2003, 6:05 p.m. CST

    About the gay thing....

    by Ribbons

    Although it's obviously not true, there are certainly scenes where it becomes a bit of a joke. With the pretense of Harry's review in hand, I went into the movie (don't follow, btw) expecting homosexual tension out of the two actors, and accordingly, that's what I saw. I'm not so sure that people would have gotten that impression otherwise. Admittedly, it was pretty funny when the two were driving along the highway and Tyrese shouted "I got somethin' for your ass!" 'Nuff said. However, the characters as written didn't really seem that homosexual, and the tenor of the relationship was more of a lamentable situation the actors got themselves into with the way they approached their roles. Most people who see the movie will probably chalk it up to coincidence and nothing more. If you REALLY want to watch a movie with sexual tension, go rent The Fellowship of the Ring, preferably the Extended Edition. This is probably the point in my message at which Harry tells me to grow up. To that I say, "Exactly, my friend. Exactly." Although, in all fairness, people would be crying "Pedantry!" if Harry actually took this review seriously. Like he said, it's a carsploitation flick.

  • June 6, 2003, 6:21 p.m. CST

    Is the concept of close male hetero friendship so alien to some

    by jules windex

    Only a deeply repressed chap like Harry would have such thoughts watching this movie. I saw it today. Didn't like it nearly as much as F&F1, but then again, here you have blank Eva Mendes and ugly Devon Aoki, whereas last time you had insanely hot Jordana Brewster and Michelle Rodriguez, maybe the coolest actress around. Plus, the story here was awful, like a bad TV cop show. Yeah, the first flick ripped off Point Break, but did so well. I still enjoyed the racing and the Tyrese-Paul scenes. And Ludacris was fun.

  • June 6, 2003, 6:51 p.m. CST

    But there aren't any vampires or werewolves!! How can it be any

    by throne of blood

    At least Harry didn't give us a self-indulgent, longwinded diatribe about how he's loved Carsploitation movies every since he saw Cannonball Run 2 and he cries every time he thinks about how they've changed his life.

  • June 6, 2003, 7:26 p.m. CST

    Anyone in L.A. dare to see this yet? If so, PLEASE, post your a

    by Charles Grady

    Dying to hear what the opening-night crowds are like for this here in L.A. See, a lot of TBers from lily-white small towns in middle America scoff at the TFATF flicks as pure crap, and write the films' fanbase off as your typical Bizkit-cranking meatheads. But in multi-culti, car-obsessed Los Angeles, the original is like the Holy Grail to the hip-hop youth culture here. I remember seeing it with a packed house of predominently Filipino, Chinese, Latino, and Armenian teens who went through the roof who acted like manna had fallen from the ceiling -- this was a movie ABOUT THEM, FOR THEM. The place was alive and the kids were going apeshit for two hours. Needless to say, I was probably the only white person over the age of 21 in the theatre, but seeing a FAST AND FURIOUS flick in L.A. is a fascinating sociological experiment. Obviously, to a comic book geek demographic in the sticks, which I dare say is the AICN majority, these flicks are pretty foreign and laughable, but keep in mind they're made for the new multicultural youth scene......As a side note to any fellow Angelenos - too bad it's not playing on a single decent screen in the whole city. Not at the Grove? No Dome? No Arclight? When the newspaper adds trumpet the Beverly Connection and Westwood Avco as their "prestige" screens, you know it's playing on some crappy screens.

  • June 6, 2003, 7:38 p.m. CST

    Charles Grady

    by Ribbons

    It doesn't diminish the fact that these flicks are more escapist than your average geek movie. I'm taking a stab at something I can't really attest to, but the fact that these kids go apeshit over the recognition of their subculture in movies is because it's glorifying it.

  • June 6, 2003, 7:45 p.m. CST

    bullshit!!!

    by originalskoobx

    Harry doing 142? Bullshit Harry. I don't believe it for a fucking minute. And your review did sound kind of gay. What did you do to get out of your ticket Harry, blow the cop? No way he would not haul your rollie pollie ass to jail. Or perhaps that is where you picked up oyur tendencies towards homoerotic over anaylisation

  • June 6, 2003, 7:58 p.m. CST

    "But in multi-culti, car-obsessed Los Angeles, the original is l

    by Tarl_Cabot

    You're talking about a culture that believes the pursuit of owning a hot car is the only way to get laid and respect from peers; and lot's a females who support that approach to life.Achieveing a long term, self improving thing like a college degree isn't even an afterthought is this 'culture'.Cars are overrated. You can't drive your car into the nightclub. You have to bring a brain and a personality and some character into social situations in order to be truly successful in life. I hate any 'culture' that elevates material possesions such as cars over individuality, personality and character...BTW, I used to live above Mesa college in San Diego and I used to get a kick outta watching young stupid kids race in their crotch rockets and get arrested in the parking lot, once a week it would happen! LOL

  • June 6, 2003, 8:48 p.m. CST

    in defens of miss Aoki

    by imageburn13

    she dont look wierd guys...she's suuuuper hot! check out her photo's from imdb...the one of her chillin on her car is monaaay.

  • June 6, 2003, 9:12 p.m. CST

    Charles Grady

    by Shabbadoo

    You know, there's more to the film-going experience than the intensity of the crowd you're seeing it with. Yes, it most definitely adds to the experience, but when a movie sucks, it just sucks. Want a good example of what I'm talking about? Here: http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=1654

  • June 6, 2003, 10:01 p.m. CST

    And you're surprised? With Vin "SO in the closet" Diesel in the

    by ZeroCorpse

    Come ON! Doesn't anybody in the geek community have Gaydar? Vin Diesel flames, baby! He's a queen, and he's letting his freak flag fly in all his movies. This whole franchise is gay from the get-go. Cars as metaphors for sexual organs, hot guys hanging on each other, and the title- Fast and Furious? HELLO? This would be gay porn if they were allowed to go NC-17 with it!

  • June 6, 2003, 10:03 p.m. CST

    Devon Aoki

    by LurkerX

    She's one weird looking chick. She looks like one of those dolls with the eyes that open and close. From the neck up, anyway. She's got a great bod, but the head's gotta go.

  • June 6, 2003, 10:04 p.m. CST

    MATRIX RELOADED SUCKED HARDER THAN HARRY AT A GAY BAR

    by KOBE-WAN

    Can't believe people are still defending that ground zero disappointment RELOADED. I loved the Matrix, but the RELOADED script seemed like it was written by a college freshman after a couple English Lit and Philosophy classes. Boring new characters, lousy pacing, horrible dialogue and acting...Did George Lucas ghost write that tin dialogue? Zion is so uninspiringly soulless, I'll fucking help the Architect blow that sucker up!!!

  • June 6, 2003, 10:07 p.m. CST

    Come on now--- Who here really just wants to see the Hulk becaus

    by ZeroCorpse

    I can read you guys like a book.

  • June 6, 2003, 10:51 p.m. CST

    What's more gay? Harry, Matrix Reloaded, 2 Fast 2 Furious, or Ta

    by KOBE-WAN

    What's more gay? Harry, Matrix Reloaded, 2 Fast 2 Furious, or Talk Back posters? Damn, it's impossible to decide. Photo finish on that sucker. It's funny to hear people bitching that all the posts don't stay on topic. God forbid we desecrate the 2 Fast 2 Furious scholarly discussion.

  • June 6, 2003, 11:01 p.m. CST

    Where is the Lizzy Maguire review!?!?!?!

    by originalskoobx

    WTF!!!! Possibly the best movie of the year and you talk about this shit!!!! Fuck this site. Fuck it up its stupid ass.

  • June 6, 2003, 11:22 p.m. CST

    I think they should call it High Octane with Hulk Hogan as Domin

    by Lord Shatner

    "You need to be very careful about how you answer this question, brother"

  • June 6, 2003, 11:58 p.m. CST

    Mighty Pencil Neck

    by Ribbons

    As much as I dislike the whole compulsively trashing/hating/loving hating celebrities drama on this site, I have to admit that I laughed pretty hard at that orange bit. That was fuckin' hilarious man.

  • June 7, 2003, 12:30 a.m. CST

    2 homophobic 2 notice

    by OsamaBinBlofeld

    Jesus Christ!!! Devon Aoki is the most horrendous atrocity put upon mankind...ughhh! You know she must be fucking John "I am the biggest hack in the city of hacks known as Hollywood and my shitty racist excused as bad-art flicks just get progressively worse and worse" Singleton because I'm sure she is plain and simple a shit "actress". Eva Mendes is just so dull looking. I am sure her pussy is rancid or something...

  • June 7, 2003, 12:58 a.m. CST

    geez louise

    by jimdin2001

    theres too much tlk/arguing on the getting of the matrix films. folks saying, 'i might not b as intelligent as u r, but i get it' or, 'golly gosh, u didnt like the film therefore u dont get it' fine fine fine. its a movie, and i really dont think its being all as clever as folks make out. its hardly subtle. the point isnt whether u get the ideas it conveys but whether u agree with them. clearly not everyone has the same views. also, because the film seems to draw attention to existance doesnt come acrosds to me like its making me question it. this is just a dynamic to the story line. this is popcorn fare not literary masterpiece. the comparison with raiders and temple seems fair. they too hint at intelligent beings but when i watch them i dont think, i m not picking up on th archaeology /mythology referencd, how dumb am i, i simply enjoy them cos i m watching something which was made to primarily entertain me, which they do, well. same with matrix n reloaded.

  • June 7, 2003, 1:02 a.m. CST

    wot sort of sicko would rape a dead deer or sodomise a monkey?

    by jimdin2001

    where'd the monkey sodomy thang come from please, the script for peter jacksons king kong remake? is he making blueies ala copolla?

  • June 7, 2003, 1:20 a.m. CST

    Harry's Lizzie review

    by jules windex

    "Oh that Hilary Duff. She's so hot. I'd like to sodomize her and have a threeway with her and a dead deer. I'd like to see her play a werewolf in a movie someday, preferably a Robert Rodriguez film. You know I'm friends with Robert. Really. I'm not lying. You want me to call him to prove it? I will."

  • June 7, 2003, 1:29 a.m. CST

    The Badass Motherfucking Johnny Cash Bio-Pic

    by Brimacombe

    I just want to say that the idea downright scares the shit outta me. Could be absolutely fucking beautiful, could be total shit. Like the man's albums themselves. Anyways, it has to be made, people have to know about this Punkass Grampa. I'm just hoping that it doesn't ruin his legacy by being a shitty movie cause people have to realize that no matter what, Johnny Cash understands you, he really does.

  • June 7, 2003, 1:44 a.m. CST

    BAMBI = MALE DEER = HARRY HARD ON

    by KOBE-WAN

    Which movie excited Harry more? Bambi or Babe. My guess is Babe, because Harry had fantasies of raping the pig and then eatin' him for breakfast in the morning.

  • June 7, 2003, 1:46 a.m. CST

    AICN-posters who didn't like Matrix Reloaded reinvent zombie ret

    by Hobbitastic

    and it's by saying that 2 Fast 2 Spurious is going to be better than Reloaded (which was brilliant if you dimwits knew how to listen)... as hell!

  • June 7, 2003, 2 a.m. CST

    2 Fat 2 Curious

    by Led Gopher

    LOL! Classic.

  • June 7, 2003, 2:15 a.m. CST

    Night of the Living Dead is on Encore right now.

    by Mitch Cumstein

    There. At least this talkback was used for some good.

  • June 7, 2003, 2:28 a.m. CST

    Bah! Off-Topic, Schmoff-Shmopic!

    by Ribbons

    AICN beats with the heart and art of freeform jazz, baby! It's the crap we're NOT talkin' about that makes the talkback a sprawling work of genius!

  • June 7, 2003, 5:19 a.m. CST

    NON-gay film, better than the first!

    by Mad Skills

    Maybe i'm just too red-blooded hetero but I didn't see any of the bullshit that Harry saw, but it's not the first time he'd be reading in too much. I thought this film was about 3 times as good as the first. It had a plot, I thought the car action was BETTER,and there was more than a 6 second race of it, finer girls (who is that chick that played Vin Diesel's sister that is in all the flicks now liike Blue Crush and SWAT? She is DOG, so why the hell is she cast in every goddamn movie now?). Not to mention much better chemistry between the two leads, and finally, more comedy, especially from Tyrese.

  • June 7, 2003, 8:40 a.m. CST

    to Kobe wan

    by Darth Arrakis

    "What's more gay? Harry, Matrix Reloaded, 2 Fast 2 Furious, or Talk Back posters" You're more gay ya fuckin dumb shit. There, question answered. And Devon Akoi is the ugliest fuckin tomboy beanpole on the planet.

  • June 7, 2003, 9:46 a.m. CST

    140mph??? You dribble some shit, sometimes!

    by TheGinger Twit

    140mph my arse!

  • June 7, 2003, 10:43 a.m. CST

    arrrggggghhhh!!! The Harry head just winked at me when I was gon

    by Tall_Boy

    seriously, look at the indy-head, try it out for yourself!

  • June 7, 2003, 10:55 a.m. CST

    Ahhhhhh!

    by Darth Arrakis

    The same thing happened to me!!!!!

  • June 7, 2003, 10:56 a.m. CST

    yeah fuckin right

    by Darth Arrakis

    That fat bastard couldn't get up to 140 mph on the bulet train for christs ske let alone some piece o' shit dukes of hazzard car.

  • June 7, 2003, 12:20 p.m. CST

    no way 142mph. THIS MOVIES SUCKS

    by papanoel

    SAW TWO WEEKS AGO AND IT BLOWS! Cricitics actually liking this?! YEAH RIGHT. It was HORRIBLE. HARRY GO KILLYOURSELF!

  • June 7, 2003, 12:38 p.m. CST

    The audience I saw this with were massively into it

    by Terry_1978

    And this is at a typical Indiana suburban theatre, mostly upper middle class white kids, and the other half consisting of black(the ethnicity of the revered Terry_1978), hispanic, and asian kids. Strange as this sounds, this one was actually a tad better than the first one. Cole Hauser was excellent...if you haven't seen it yet, watch the scene where he attempts to persuade a detective on his payroll to do something for him...it involves a bucket, a rat, and a blowtorch.

  • June 7, 2003, 1:50 p.m. CST

    Let me ask you all this:

    by timmer33

    A while ago Harry posted an updated article on his thoughts regarding RELOADED after his second viewing. He still didn't like the film, and had numerous posts on the talkback about why he didn't like it. Well, I went back to the story recently and discovered that Harry has deleted every single talkback that he posted there! Go see for yourselves ... his userid HEADGEEK is nowhere to be found, even though he was very "vocal" in talkbacks trying to defend his opinion. What is Harry trying to hide? Has he realized the error of his ways? Does he now believe the movie to be brilliant? Or is Warner Brothers putting pressure on him to stop bashing the movie? What's going on? Here's the link, see for yourselves: http://www.aintitcool.com/tb_display.cgi?id=15211#626787

  • June 7, 2003, 2:07 p.m. CST

    Who the hell is Paul Walker anyway?

    by Brat Girl

    what kind of lame ass studio would try to open a movie with this no name?? so fucking stupid.

  • June 7, 2003, 2:52 p.m. CST

    You mean worst because it's starring, written and directed by Sl

    by Terry_1978

    I'll assume it's the former, since I am a fan of the latter. And getting Suge Knight in on it? Sly better wear that bulletproof vest constantly.

  • June 7, 2003, 3:41 p.m. CST

    RE: Ben Affleck's Scott Peterson, Movie of the Week

    by JAGUART

    Finally someone who recognizes Affleck for what he truly is, a television star.

  • June 7, 2003, 4:07 p.m. CST

    If anyone cares, my review of the Hulk movie adaptation

    by the G-man

    Complete with spoilers at http://www.robkamphausen.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=15&t=001527 Warning: based on adaptation, the Hulk movie is going to suck ASS.

  • June 7, 2003, 4:15 p.m. CST

    You mean Daytime TV star right?

    by Tarl_Cabot

    Affleck should be on the Bold and the beautiful...Did he just suck ass as DD or what?

  • June 7, 2003, 5:45 p.m. CST

    Speed Freak?

    by Damer1

    The only time a 78 Caddy went 140 was off a cliff. Harry's fascination with Homosexual relationships comes back with bs about his speed freak past. Garbage

  • June 7, 2003, 6:28 p.m. CST

    2 Retarded 2 Be Reviewed!

    by mbaker

    That's probably why he didn't even bother to review "The Lizzard McQuagmire Movie"! It's pure garbage Now even though this piece of crap is somewhat better that "Lizzard McQuagmire", it still isn't saying much.

  • Yeah, Brother--uh, I mean Boiiieeeee! I be da Kingpin of da hip hop world, Brother, I mean Boiiieeeeee!

  • June 7, 2003, 6:48 p.m. CST

    I just looked up some pics of Devon Aoki online... now I know wh

    by LlGHTST0RMER

    Although I wouldn't add the word "sexy" to that description. Now Eva Mendez, on the other hand... how the HELL can Harry write a whole review on this crappy flick and Mendez only scores a passing mention in the whole thing? Even more than his fascination with Paul Walker & Tyrese's quasi-gay relationship, THAT is the best proof I can see of Harry's own homo-ocity.

  • June 7, 2003, 9:47 p.m. CST

    Matrix Reloaded Rocked and Keanu is a great actor...LOL

    by KOBE-WAN

    If I hear anymore "Vampires and Werewolves" cracks or "Reloaded was great" comments, I'll start posting crappy dialogue from the Reloaded script. Reading that shit will wake up you Matrix fanboys. Reloaded sucked as bad as Attack of the Clones. LOVE THOSE COUNCIL MEETINGS!!! Keanu should be nominated for a RAZZY award for that crap Reloaded performance!

  • June 7, 2003, 10:16 p.m. CST

    Aoki is a freak and where do Boy-Racers get their fucking money

    by Magnus_Steele

    Devon Aoki is a freaky lookin lady man, it just ain't right, it's downright wrong! And where the hell do boy-racers get their money from? Shit man, I mean they're a bunch of loser teenage scum-suckers who work at your local Burger King, how the fuck does that job pay for Nos, mods, mags 'n' shit? Losers should use that money to buy a life.

  • June 7, 2003, 10:49 p.m. CST

    Just Download this Movie NOW and Be done with it

    by zerohourx

    Its all over the net ... and so is the Hulk WorkPrint (just watched it and it seems fully complete to me).

  • June 7, 2003, 11:16 p.m. CST

    Yea...HULK news

    by Bloogy

    Yea...where are all the Hulk reviews??? This print is out, I'd expect to have seen some feedback. And contrary to what zerohourx says, this is NOT complete. CG of hulk climbing out from under the rocks was a total polygon filler shot. Many sounds were missing, primarily Hulk screams, and at one point the CG seems to blink on and off around Hulks shorts. I thought the setup was good, the middle dialogue seems to drag, the money scenes with the Hulk vs tanks and helecopters were great, and the end....I really didn't get it. Maybe something was missing, but...does his Dad just become anything that's around him? And what was that missle? An anti superhero missle? The last 15 minutes were just wierd. The 20 before that were great.

  • June 7, 2003, 11:54 p.m. CST

    You bastard (DO NOT read the post above this one)

    by Ribbons

    I probably should've been wary with a header that read "Yea....Hulk news," but I can't believe you just gave away the ending of that fucking movie without so much as a spoiler warning

  • June 7, 2003, 11:58 p.m. CST

    Oh, well

    by Ribbons

    It's in the past. Next time, Bloogy, just make sure you leave a spoiler warning. It's not that big of a deal, I suppose, but there *are* people out there who'd rather not know.

  • June 8, 2003, 1:07 a.m. CST

    Old SNL ROCKS ASS!!!

    by Brimacombe

    Holy shit! I was just watching the Blues Brothers shit, and that is some cool shit!

  • June 8, 2003, 1:15 a.m. CST

    Very Poor Review

    by digdig

    Again, there is no interest at least fror me at least in reading all this superfluous stuff, then having a relatively short or uninspired review. The homoeroticism you imagined here sounds like a film school student's attempt to find something gay in every movie that's released. Like i have said before, you need to get a blog for these ridiculous, unnecessary, star wars scrolling-text type intros to your review. It's childish. What your "review' SHOULD have talked about is the fact that Paul Walker is the least convincing person to say "bro" in movie history. I wanted to understand the friendship but it was never convincing. IT doesn't even work as a good buddy cop type popcorn flick, which is all i was hoping for especially on a friday late night. They seem to realize the plot is terrible (that's the most inconspicuous way to move money you could think of? using two street racers?), but for some reason they linger on dialogue for what seems like forever. And amazingly they made car crashes boring, especially the police car pileups. This movie is terrible, and that's coming from someone who snuck in to see it. I still feel like i wasted money. Tyrese's energy was the ONLY thing likeable about this flick.

  • June 8, 2003, 1:48 a.m. CST

    This movie ate my brain.

    by wasp

    And I had to pay for it to do so. Suck.

  • June 8, 2003, 3:03 a.m. CST

    What the fuck is wrong with you fags?

    by Joey Stylez

    Devon Aoki is a beautiful woman, sexy and exotic. Open your minds to soemthign other than a walking Barbie doll. Most of you have never been with a woman at all, much less a woman of Devon's caliber. Wake up losers! BTW, Matrix Reloaded rocked the fuckin' bells. But X2 was even better.

  • June 8, 2003, 4:08 a.m. CST

    JOHN MILNER...

    by IFartOnYourGrave

    What you said... so true. Give me a real car... like a Boss 302, GTO Judge or a 1967 GT500 instead of these pathetic rice burners. Hey... they're more efficent in design and in engineering; but they're still shit compaired to a real car.

  • June 8, 2003, 6:58 a.m. CST

    FROM THE FILES OF W.T.F.??? -- "John Singleton, whose SHAFT was

    by Commando Cody

    I don't know what's worse, that Harry seemed to like this movie or his statement "John Singleton, whose SHAFT was quite a bit of fun..." Bottom line, SHAFT was a total piece of shit movie (that for all the talent involved plays out even WORSE than a lowly TNT "Superstation Original" TV movie...and 2 FURIOUS is just MORE shit from a hack like Singleton who it now appears only got lucky with BOYZ FROM THE HOOD. Then again, Singleton long ago struck me as a major asshole when (1) Samuel Jackson threatened to punch him out on SHAFT for acting like such an asshole and (2) some magazin (I think it was PREMIERE) did a profile on him and the article opened up with Singleton sitting in his director's chair, feeling a bit hot, and then calling for an assistant to bring him a cool bottle of water...at which point the assistant walked over to Singleton's chair and took a bottled water out of a thermos cooler that was literally RIGHT AT SINGLETON'S FEET and next to his chair. I don't mind directors, etc., having assistants or expecting some sort of perks, but give me a break -- the lazy f*ck couldn't reach DOWN to his own ankles to get a bottle of water for himself? What's the phrase that comes to mind? Oh, yeah...now I remember...spoiled prima donna.

  • June 8, 2003, 7:25 a.m. CST

    Worst things about a shit movie like 2 FURIOUS?

    by Commando Cody

    Worst things about a shitty film like 2 FURIOUS? Due to the surprise hit status of the original, this one will probably make some good coin opening weekend. I'm sure it's bound to lure in lots of inner city youths who think souped up econo-cars qualify as muscle cars and they'll flock to this piece of shit like moths to the flame. Which means that a studio like Universal will inevitably dump money into a FURIOUS 3, and even MORE shit will be foisted on the world -- or worse, other studios will jump the bandwagon sensing a "trend" that appeals to the urban youth, and we'll even get stuck with imitations of these suck ass movies. The absolute worst part? Those same moron teenagers flocking to this will probably emerge from the theater all pumped up, think they're stud drivers too, and then they'll take to the roads like irresponsible drivers -- their teenage adrenaline boosted by a pointless, moronic flick like this. In fact, just today I saw 2 morons narrowly miss several cars because they were racing through traffic in their "custom Hondas" -- and I was able to catch one driver fast enough to see that the asshole was literally trying to drive WHILE he was also holding and looking through a camcorder so he could FILM his racing.

  • June 8, 2003, 11:35 a.m. CST

    HULK mini-review because Harry ain't doin' his job.

    by KOBE-WAN

    Since, Avi Arad has Harry in his back pocket like a paid mistress. I'll give ya a short review of Hulk work print. **minor spoilers** . On the positive side: The changes to origin story were nothing to get upset about. Acting was solid througout. The cgi hulk was believable...well, as far as 15 foot green monsters go. On negatives side: Beginning of movie is very somber and creepy and unfortunately slow. It really shouldn't have taken over 40 minutes to see the hulk. The quick cuts and comic book style paneling hurt the film more than help it...Interesting idea that doesn't work half the time. Two words, Hulk poodle. Who on earth besides Schamus and Lee thought this was a good idea? I was hoping they could pull this hulk dog thing off...but It comes off as cheesy and B-Movie stupid. At beginning of movie you learn that Betty has dumped Bruce. You soon know why! Bruce is a repressed and BLAND character. You feel sorry for the guy, but they shouldn't have given Bruce the personality of George Lucas.

  • June 8, 2003, 11:48 a.m. CST

    This Movie was the Equivilent of a Jeffrey Dahmer Lobotomy!! Dev

    by MentallyMariah

    The movie was beyond terrible! I would rather sit threw Swept Away two more times then sit through this PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!! Harry, you are weird!!

  • June 8, 2003, 3:23 p.m. CST

    Jike Spingleton

    by ogonekenobi

    You know what the saddest thing about this movie? John Singleton decided to make a another fucking popcorn movie(A sequel no less)instead of making a movie of substance that I know he is a capable. It was bad enough that he did shaft. I admit that tthe end result wasn't extremely horrible, but come on John. Do something more creative. You could have been the next Spike Lee. Speaking of which "He Got Game" sucked but Spike redeemed himself with "Bamboozled". Hopefully John can do the same one day. -OGOneKenobi has spoken-

  • June 8, 2003, 3:54 p.m. CST

    by ogonekenobi

  • June 8, 2003, 3:59 p.m. CST

    Speaking of which,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    by ogonekenobi

    Whatever happened to Harry's Girlfriend Catgirl or Pussygirl, or feline-lady whatever her name was. You know the one he went to extreme difficulties to describe to everyone that he was capablre of such conquests? Guess Betsy Palmer will always be there for him! And for the bitch-ass that has the odosity to question Spike Lee's talent as A filmaker? You can eat a big fat saber!

  • June 8, 2003, 4:10 p.m. CST

    Meow

    by ogonekenobi

    It was New York Kitten. R.I.P. how he crushed thee.

  • June 8, 2003, 4:17 p.m. CST

    Oh Really?

    by ogonekenobi

    I am not especially hurt be your comments as you are obvioussly blind as to what makes a true film maker. It wasn't an invite to suck my dick as you interpretted, but i guess when you suck so much cock you kind of have trouble understanding simple statements. Which really shoud not be a problem for you since you are so simple minded. P.S. quit jumping on the I hate this movie" bandwagon, it is obvious to me what your tastes(besides cock)are in movies. You probably have already downloaded this piece on your mac/pc. God, it pisses me off when I have to get do to a retards level to prove a point.

  • June 8, 2003, 5:31 p.m. CST

    What could Harry say that everyone would agree on?

    by SexyBeast

    is there anything at all , that harry could say that people wouldn't disagree with him on general principle?

  • June 8, 2003, 5:43 p.m. CST

    Harry's credibility...remember THIS review?

    by ZackieChan

    Remember when Harry had a special screening of "The Musketeer"? From this review, you'd think that Peter Hyams had crafted an excellent film...but it was the biggest piece of shit ever. This was the moment when Harry lost ALL credibility with me...what's your moment? Here's a link... http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=8785

  • June 8, 2003, 6:46 p.m. CST

    Reviews (opinions) are like assholes... everyones got one!

    by Kampbell-Kid

    Your supposed to take them as a piece of mind, not follow them like David Koresh wrote them or ya burn looking like an ass. :) Ciao

  • June 8, 2003, 6:59 p.m. CST

    so um....

    by PlayNiceOrDie

    What car was able to haul harry's fat ass and get up to 140 mph? It wasn't the Mammoth Car from the Speed Racer series was it?

  • June 8, 2003, 9:36 p.m. CST

    this movie

    by llephen

    was AWESOME

  • June 8, 2003, 9:38 p.m. CST

    P.S.

    by llephen

    Devon Aoki is blazing hot, i don't care what you think.. I'd marry her

  • June 9, 2003, 12:33 a.m. CST

    llephen

    by ogonekenobi

    Dude, you are the kind of mad retard that made the first movie a "success". But since you are only fourteen it doesn't really matter what you think. Fat doesn't really equal knowledge though, so don't listren to Harry. He calls himself "Head Geek" but according to this article he loovessss to give head. As should anyone who thought this movie was remotely entertaining. How hard would it have been to make this movie better than then the first one............and yet....it failed.

  • June 9, 2003, 1:40 a.m. CST

    Hey Little package or whatever your name is....

    by ogonekenobi

    You are seriously more fucked uo than "freemypeople" is. I'm sure you would love the movie as it seems to have what you crave of an "action" flick. Snicker, Snicker......I bet you doooo love the Vivid-man movies! FFFlame on "Big Package"!!!!!!!!!

  • June 9, 2003, 1:51 a.m. CST

    HArry removed his reviews of godzilla so no one would know what

    by shadowofaloser

    hack he is and why he is a terrible reviewer

  • June 9, 2003, 4:22 a.m. CST

    after the creds

    by radjac29

    just wanna know if there was anything after the credits like the first one did(Vin in mexico).

  • June 10, 2003, 1:50 a.m. CST

    Losers?

    by Rupee88

    Yes, you are right...anyone who posts here and is into sci-fi/fantasy films is a loser. The real "winners" are the "regular people" who spend their time watching reality shows and Everyone Loves Raymond and Friends reruns all night...lol. Dude, you have a warped sense of what is important and good...maybe you have "beaten wife" syndrome or something by believing lies and propaganda put out by the "mainstream" culture. Being into this site and having fun discussing/arguing about it is not any better or worse than discussing politics or sports or any other hobby. It is all entertainment and people here are much more intelligent and articulate than in most other places.

  • June 10, 2003, 8:22 p.m. CST

    big box office

    by Rupee88

    I'm amazed that this film did so well, but I guess mofos like fast cars. I will never rent this movie...the first one was decent, but I think I just downloaded it from Kaaza or something. Otherwise, I would have never seen it.

  • June 11, 2003, 5:21 a.m. CST

    by Cyclone

    "I saw the Animatrix last night...Fucking brillant stuff. In the beginning, man created machine, and it was good. Then, man created machine in his own image...and quickly became the arithect (sp?) of his own demise. Elements of I, Robot and A.I. Fucking great! oh yea, in case I forgot, DIE ATTICUS FINCH AND ALL YOU MATRIX-BASHERS, Fucking stupid-ass dickheads" Uhm, he said Reloaded sucked, and your talking about the Animatrix. If your going to bash someone, at least make sure your talking about the same thing.

  • June 11, 2003, 8 a.m. CST

    2 fast = point break 3??????

    by LaFours23

    I don't know if anyone has noticed but the fast and the furious was a complete rip off of Point Break. PB -Young cop thinks the crimes are done by surfers because they found surf board wax FATF - Young cop belives crimes are done by street car racers because of a tire track. So they both go undercover to find the criminals. One is a surfer...the other is a street car racer. Then they become good friends with the main criminal. Fall for the girl. Get involved in the final crime and let the bad guy go. WTF... So my question is. If fast and the furious is the sequal to point break is 2 fast point break 3???? at leaset in point break I get a laugh when Keanu says in his best forrest gump voice "I am an FBI agent" by the way...Hollywood is out of ideas

  • June 14, 2003, 1:31 a.m. CST

    2 fast 2 furious

    by Chuck2002

    Wow! You actually found about a hundred things to like about this film. Thats about, say . . . a hundred more than I did. Well actually 99. I did like the actor who played the heavy. I knew I was in trouble just minutes into the film in the choreographed scene with all the fancy cars and the tricked out hookers. Has anyone ever seen women dressed like that in real life? I think it's time to take a break from from car crashes, but just having seen the trailer for "Bad Boys II" it's going to be a long hot summer. If there ever was a film that called for "I want my money back", this would have been the one, but I was slack-jawed with disbelief and my brain melted down. I hid my face when I left the theater.

  • June 19, 2003, 2:30 p.m. CST

    Point Break 2

    by hiplingo

    I think Keanu Reeves should get it together with Patrick Swayze again for another Point Break movie. They could steal the plot and characters wholesale from 2 Fast 2 Furious in a touching 'Circle Of Life' style moment. Also it would be a lot better than 'The Matrix: Reloaded' when I come to think about it. Swayze would have to gain about 12 stones in weight in tribute to Larry 'Lardass' Fishburne obviously.

  • June 19, 2003, 10:51 p.m. CST

    Kiddie Flick

    by Foster Zygote

    Both of these "Furious" movies are for kids. They're aimed at a bunch of fifteen to nineteen year old boys who couldn't drive their thumbs up their own asses but think they're hot shit on a silver platter. those buzz-bomb exhausts with their dry, farty note only serve to advertise just how bad they are at shifting gears. I've been in the Sports Car Club of America for many years now and on many occasions in autocross events I've outdriven kids with all sorts of boy racer shit on their cars with my totally stock delSol Si. Just the fact that everyone driving in this film seems to be yelling "WHOOOOOO!!!!" says it all. Every good driver I've ever seen had a supreme 'poker face' while driving. But I guess a film where the protagonist waits impossibly late to brake for a simple turn and goes off into the trees in his 130 hp lightweight wouldn't sell much Mountain Dew. If anyone wants to see a movie about real driving check out LeMans (and that's pronounced le-mah) with Steve McQueen. Real footage of 600+ hp sports prototypes doing 230+ mph beats sped-up footage of little boys in their toys any day.

  • June 30, 2003, 5:15 a.m. CST

    I agree with Zombie

    by Zoso Jade

    Hey Zombie I liked what you said about Reloaded... I agree with you 100%. It's not a bad film but it also isn't what a lot of the fanboys say it is. It's summer popcorn - nothing more. All the "philosophy" etc is completely non-existent except in the minds of all the 17 yr old fanboys. Not very intelligent at all. The original is far superior.

  • July 25, 2003, 3:36 a.m. CST

    2 Fast 2 Furious: OURTINYWORLD.com Review

    by kikomartinez

    The Good: There are no breaks in the fun action sequences with speeding shots of sexy cars topping over 120 mph and some nice camera angels of the overpowering vehicles. If you are one of those people (unlike me who can barely put gas in his car) who can tell the difference between Excel BK-7 and Racing Hart Z5000 rims and just have other amazing little fascinations with cars, then you will not be disappointed. Like