WRONG TURN Review
WRONG TURN – it isn’t a disaster. It isn’t terrible. Actually tonight, I kinda enjoyed it, but that’s because I walked in literally expecting a complete and total waste of time. One horror filmmaking friend of mine in L.A. said, “The only WRONG TURN with that movie is the one you made into the theater!”
I heard that one as I sat in theater for an hour before the movie start. At that point I was looking around, knowing that basically, I had skipped supper to see this movie, and that… well, I could skip a few suppers, so why not.
WRONG TURN sets out to be THE DEFINITIVE Retarded InBred West Virginia Hillbilly Mountain Men Cannibal flick… I think, because they sneak that “West Virginia” bit in there, that means we’re not supposed to compare it to the superior THE HILLS HAVE EYES movie, which I hear might be being remade, btw… But here’s the thing… any movie that at least attempts to be a Retarded InBred West Virginia Hillbilly Mountain Men Cannibal flick… well it can’t be all that bad, but this ain’t all that great either.
The key problems is not really living up to the potential of that genre, to that R-rating it has. For example… look at that RED BAND TRAILER on APPLE.Com… Nothing really RED BAND about it. No tits, no gore, no cussing, no over the top thrills… I believe it has some blood in it, but hey… I’m that guy that still remembers the SCANNER trailer where I saw a man’s entire head explode in a trailer. THAT’S A RED BAND HORROR TRAILER!
Well, in a way the whole film suffers from not fucking the audience hard enough. I mean – first off, this is an R-rated Horror film, and there’s no T & A. Ok – a definite minus here… not only that, but hell, there isn’t even any grotesque titillation in the movie. When one female character is captured alive – well here you have the potential for HORROR. What would 3 Retarded InBred West Virginia Middle-Aged Hillbilly Mountain Men Family Cannibal’s do to a pretty little thing tied to their bed?
With all the other bodies around ready for preserves and what not, why kill her? Don’t they need more kin? As far as I could tell, I didn’t spy no female deformed hillbilly fuck meat – so she could incubate up the next generation of West Virginia Hillbilly Mountain Men Cannibals – and that certainly would be a helluvalot more terrifying than… well, what happens. This movie is constantly sort of pulling back, never really wallowing in the absurd depravity that they could be unleashing with these Retarded InBred West Virginia Hillbilly Mountain Men Cannibal Fucks.
I mean – show dead raped deer in the forest. Or, if they aren’t willing to show one of our lead female characters being implanted with Hillbilly probable deformed seed, have some woman that’s been captive for months in some back room of this place chained, so abused she’s lost speech, and teeth… beaten and abused so much that she’s beginning to look like she fits in with these psychos… and little deformed inbred cannibal retards in training. When you’re playing with a subject like this… GO ALL THE WAY, don’t sort of pull back.
The gore in the film is sort of Sub-Savini in fashion, but I think that’s mainly due to how dark the stuff is. I’m sure being darkened helped get past the assmunchers at the MPAA, but the trick is lightening the print after you deal with the MPAA – cuz many times you don’t have a “Color Timed Print” available for their screening. Good secret that many horror filmmaking folks I know have pulled.
But like I said, I kinda liked it. They relied way too much on loud obnoxious sound elements, and the score is so loud as to be ludicrous… After the film, I was invited to Tim League’s house, of the Alamo Drafthouse, to meet the filmmaking team behind the shot-for-shot remake of RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. The area Tim lives in is on a dark and creepy street out in South Austin, and the sound of the cicadas, the real dark darkness of the location… and that scary fucking armadillo that scurried across the street was more GENUINELY CREEPY than anything in the film.
BUT – there’s some nice gore gags. Stan Winston’s Retarded InBred West Virginia Hillbilly Mountain Men Cannibals look fairly fucking ridiculous… but they are retarded inbred West Virginia hillbilly mountain men cannibals… they’re supposed to look fairly fucking ridiculous. They are kept in shadows pretty much throughout the film, with a few reveals here and there, but, there’s nothing particularly life like about them, but they do put to hell the HILLS HAVE EYES hillbilly looks, and technically the best Hillbilly in this thing is the Gas Station guy, he rules.
Music. There is absolutely nothing Hillbilly about it. Which just sort of sucks. I mean, look at the success that the Coen Brothers had with O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU? That sort of music is insanely proper, and the best music that went with this movie, was the re-mix of CONVOY that was on the theater’s MUZAK noise that I usually despise. There just wasn’t any music that felt like it belonged in the mountains of West Virginia, of course… securing proper mountain music for a Retarded InBred West Virginia Hillbilly Mountain Men Cannibal flick… well it probably isn’t the easiest thing.
Now I know everyone is all hot and bothered about Eliza Dushku, and yeah… she’s sex times ten, but my fave beauty in this film is in the underwritten hands of Lindy Booth – who did the best horrified wander into the forest bit in the film, and well – her character wanted to be in a proper R-rated Horror film… at least got the pants off her boyfriend, but unfortunately Rob Schmidt or the typically prudish Alan McElroy (screenwriter) didn’t include that scene for us. I mean – had we seen those two enjoying their fling in the woods – maybe we’d have been more sympathetic for them. But alas. But hey, character development and titillation isn’t what either Alan or Rob are known for. But then, neither is real high quality exploitation, which seems to be a thing of the past… Unless you see MAY or CABIN FEVER – both of which understand the proper mix of gore and titillation for a good R-rated horror film set around the younger set. But then, I’ve always gotten the idea that Alan McElroy is a commercial regurgitator of that type of stuff, not creator… not like what an Eli Roth or Lucky McKee can do… or in their heyday, folks like Tobe Hooper or Wes Craven.
But like I said – I like this movie in that… shit man, it’s a Retarded InBred West Virginia Hillbilly Mountain Men Cannibal flick, it ain’t all bad… reminds me of Seymour, in my tortured dementia at the time. Hehehe… And if nothing else, I like thinking that those deformed flesh feasting mumblers are up in those West Virginia woods… I would just love it if they came across a National Jamboree and started harvesting Boy Scouts, that have to pit their Boy Scout training against Retarded InBred West Virginia Hillbilly Mountain Men Cannibal-fucks. An epic battle between the boys and the men of the woods. Just watching some scout take out a Hillbilly bastard with a little vittle kit, that’d rule.
See… that’s what this movie is good for, its good for a conversation afterwards about what could have been cooler…
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May 30, 2003, 4:49 a.m. CST
by THE WALLACE
yeah I'd hit that. On DVD.
May 30, 2003, 4:53 a.m. CST
Has really hurt this flick.
May 30, 2003, 4:54 a.m. CST
by KID AB
And I did not mention Claire Danes in that.
May 30, 2003, 4:57 a.m. CST
by Cash Bailey
If it weren't for The Dush and Stan Winston I wouldn't give it standing room, honestly.
May 30, 2003, 5:01 a.m. CST
by pogo on my own
This movie still sounds kinda fun, but I was hoping for some Dushku skin in the flick.
May 30, 2003, 5:10 a.m. CST
...is this from 'Halloween 4' Alan McElroy or 'Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever' Alan McElroy? And Harry... you are a sick, sick man.
May 30, 2003, 5:21 a.m. CST
by Cash Bailey
It's the same guy who wrote both of these masterpieces.
May 30, 2003, 5:37 a.m. CST
May 30, 2003, 5:38 a.m. CST
by Grammaton Cleric
Note to self:..horror script needs more animal rape...
May 30, 2003, 5:41 a.m. CST
"have some woman that
May 30, 2003, 5:44 a.m. CST
Harry you pillock! With regards to your first criticism of Wrong Turn, why does it have to be a pre-requisite of R-rated horror films to have T&A or grotesque tittlilation? Now, I'm a red-blooded male... I love T&A so no homo comments plese, come on, think of the list of great horror that does'nt, The Excorsist, The Shining, Alien, Aliens, etc, etc. Need I go on. I've been a regular visitor for some time now and like a lot of people here I am beginning to question your critical facilities. T@A and grotesque sexuality are not necessary ingredients to make the jooror pot taste better. So, to summarise: D- below par, could do better
May 30, 2003, 5:46 a.m. CST
...well, Halloween 4, in my mind (and I just watched Halloween 5, so my memory may be clouded by remembering a decent sequel), had some decent ideas (rooftop sequence) and a few good characters. Nothing spectacular, but a good, fairly-inspired script (and better than most of the shit of the late-80s slasher period). That said, Return of Michael Myers was 15 years ago. Plenty of time to write a bad slasher flick :-\
May 30, 2003, 5:48 a.m. CST
...in my mind, Halloween 4 is the best sequel to Carpenter's original; more important, it featured pretty good characters and some nice ideas (the rooftop sequence). Therefore, I'd consider it McElroy's best work... at least what I've seen. But Halloween 4 was fifteen years ago. Recently, we've had Spawn and Ecks Vs. Sever :-\
May 30, 2003, 6:47 a.m. CST
hillbillies are such easy targets...BUT ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF THEM WHEN YOU NEED THREE AND A HALF QUARTS OF ROT-GUT MOONSHINE?...OR HOW ABOUT WHEN YOU ARE SITTING AT THE TRACTOR PULLS WITH ONLY ONE CASE OF BEER AND NO CHEW?...AND THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOUR MISSING WHEN YOU ARE AROUND HILLBILLIES....SUCH AS THE MUSKY SWEET SMELL OF A UNWASHED CROTCH AND THE INTENSE FEELING YOU GET WHEN YOUR NIPPLES ARE SUCKED THROUGH THE FRONT TOOTH GAP.....ahh yes....hillbillies are our friends...indeed.....And thus, I have spoken! - - - George, The 7th Chicken!!!!
May 30, 2003, 6:57 a.m. CST
Hollywood doesn't have a clue about how to adapt 'fringe' characters like hillbillies, cannibals or people who have lives that are considered unsavory. None of that stuff will ever go beyond what you see on Jerry Springer because they say they want to 'scare' or 'titilate' you. But society today, especially the mall variety, is so class conscious they couldn't suffer through ten seconds of looking at a genuine hillbilly, much less an entire movie about them.
May 30, 2003, 7:27 a.m. CST
by Human Tornado
That's just too damn quotable to pass!
May 30, 2003, 7:29 a.m. CST
damn, i bet they didn't even consider showing show dead raped deer in the forest.
May 30, 2003, 7:35 a.m. CST
by Human Tornado
I'm being ironic, of course.
May 30, 2003, 7:51 a.m. CST
Ok...never heard about this flick...and I love horror. But why can't we just say HILLBILLIES instead of West Virginia Hillbillies!?!? Being born and raised in the fine state, I hate to hear the cliche' being reinforced. I'm not inbred. I own shoes. I can read. And I didn't marry my sister. Get off it already!
May 30, 2003, 7:53 a.m. CST
Nice to see what Harry likes to watch. It's nice to see such a lovely description of the fairer sex "fuck-meat". If I was a woman I'd just jump at the chance to go out with this man.
May 30, 2003, 8:10 a.m. CST
........and i began to ponder me that, eeeternal question....... ... can't them dumbasses in hollywood think of anything better to do than this crap????
May 30, 2003, 8:19 a.m. CST
From another West Virginian, a big ol' FUCK YOU to Harry and the studio who released this piece of shit.
May 30, 2003, 8:39 a.m. CST
by A Winner Is You
I've read some fucked up things on this site, but this review takes the bull by the horns and then double rubber bands its nutsac. I'm all for gore, but when talk of rape, missing teeth, and inbred retards come up, I usually start walking in the other direction...
May 30, 2003, 8:41 a.m. CST
The answer to your question is... YES.
May 30, 2003, 8:49 a.m. CST
1st - West Virginia - multiple times throughout the film they make sure to reinforce the WEST VIRGINIA aspect of this film. If it is being offensive to the State - that's the film. In fact, I hear the state government of West Virginia is very upset at the filmmakers for this portrayal... which, if you see the film, you'll see that I perfectly describe them............. 2nd - "Fuck-Meat" - I've never in my life used this term to describe a lady, but folks - when you see what Stan Winston created as InBred men - if there was a female - it would literally be a breeding sow - tortured, sad and well - obviously too horrible for them to go near, cuz they avoided it. Frankly - they needed to go there. Just making these people unthinking cannibals was too one-dimensional as villains - essentially - they're just Jason without the hockey mask, just doing what Jason did, but with a total body count possibility of about 7 or so folks........ 3rd - Weird Depraved Acts mentioned in the article - well... Other than just killing people, that's what they show. To me, in the scary hillbilly genre - SEX and DEPRAVED SEX has always been a staple. Squeel like a PIG anyone? Ever see THE GIANT LEECHES? Or any of the Moonshine flicks? Sex, Rape and Inhumanity has always been a staple of the HILLBILLY genre, and with the humor side of it, Sex with Farm Animals and Woodland creatures... Unfortunately that's more of the HORRIFIC - elements of Scary Hillbilly movies. AND those scenes would scare and creep the hell out of a modern audience, just as it did you to just read them in my review. But THAT... THAT IS EXACTLY why you include them in an EXPLOITATION FILM. If you don't... You're just being a pussy.
May 30, 2003, 8:57 a.m. CST
by Lost Skeleton
...there were no dead raped deer in Zion.
May 30, 2003, 9:05 a.m. CST
by The Koz
...is someone doing a shot-for-shot remake of Raiders of the Lost Ark? What's the point, and who thinks they'll make enough money off of it to break even on production costs? Ugh..
May 30, 2003, 9:35 a.m. CST
by Nice Marmot
I didn't read past this sentence you fat-ass bastard. I only lived in "Almost Heaven" for 9 years but I'll still defend it. Is Moriarty going to review this? If he actually stoops to your level by seeing it I'm sure his review will praise the horror & bash the negative stereotyping. How did you like Menace To Society by the way? Hell yeah you liked it, any movie that at least attempts to be a forty sluggin' cap bustin' killer nigger flick can't be all that bad.
May 30, 2003, 9:42 a.m. CST
... and, well, yeah, OK, it's pretty much right on the money across the boards. Y'all come back now, y'hear?? =)
May 30, 2003, 9:52 a.m. CST
Jesus. I really can't believe we exist in a world where people are so fucking touchy that EXPLOITATION films regarding Hillbilly Mountain Men - which IS CLEARLY SHOWN to be one family of 3 Genetic Monsters, and not the entire state of West Virginia. I mean... I've been to Virginia and West Virginia multiple times when I went to NATIONAL JAMBOREES - some of the prettiest woods I've ever seen. Never once did I see a toothless monster, or even a mason jar of Moonshine. And I noticed zero cannibalism. HOWEVER - I was in Raleigh and that area and not up in the mountains down a dirt road that appears on no map after making a turn I shouldn't of made... I suppose I should GET PISSED OFF about THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE and feel that that movie Negatively Stereotypes Texas as a bunch of Chainsaw wielding Monsters that kill the transient population! And folks living on Elm Streets should picket Freddy movies for negatively prejudicing the world against their neighborhood as being a murder street. England should string Mike Myers up for depicting a British Citizen with BAD TEETH --- We should destroy all prints of DELIVERANCE - FOLKS - get a hold of yourselves... Is this really what you've become... SO hyper-sensitive that you can't allow a film or a writer the creativity to wallow in the insanity of the LORE - i.e. MYTHOLOGY of simpler times? No Loch Ness movies cuz it might scare folks away? Yeti films might prejudice folks from going to the Himilayas? Come on, put at least ONE LAYER OF SKIN ON and try to develop a sense of humor about yourself. You folks wouldn't last one day as Harry Knowles... You'd have a heart attack and die win someone called you a Fat Ass...
May 30, 2003, 10:05 a.m. CST
Eliza could say ... "It looks like the deer was sodomized or raped or something." Badda-Bing, Badda-Boom! Thar ya go! Heh. & at the risk of sounding like a Harry Ass-Kisser! I'm going to have to agree with him on the whole needing to go "further" with the violence and depictions of "female deformed hillbilly fuck meat"! People complain that horror movies have become to PC and then they STILL complain when they aren't PC enough! BAH! I mean ... even the freaking X-FILES implied where the "Hillbilly Babies" came from! The Freaky Hillbilly MOTHER for fricksakes! Remember that! She was under the bed and all deformed and everything! and that was TV. So no ... Harry's not offbase. So Shaddap! AFLAC!!!
May 30, 2003, 10:16 a.m. CST
but you're right, that "Scanners" trailer kicked ass!
May 30, 2003, 10:19 a.m. CST
May 30, 2003, 10:27 a.m. CST
I think you forgot where you are....a MOVIE website, not a forum for your political beliefs. Yeah, and 3 cheers to you, too, for being such a hippocrite; your comments were just as derogatory (towards a political group) as anything LanPB01 said (towards a racial group). Except that Lan was making a point about "political correctness" in movies: that movies suck nowadays because they aren't offensive to anyone except white people. You, on the other hand, had no point relevant to anything anyone wants to hear on this site...you were just attacking another group. As for your "evidence of biological weapons" comments...those trucks were washed down with bleach, right? I wonder why so many people were first saying, "Give the UN inspectors more time! Don't go to war, give the UN inspectors more time!" And now they're saying, "Where is the proof? C'mon, you don't have to search! Where is the proof?" It's just a double-standard because you hate Bush and the current Republican administration. Soldiers are still dying, you irrelevant asshole. SO LEAVE IT OFF THE TALKBACKS!
May 30, 2003, 10:36 a.m. CST
...I lived in that festering shithole of a state for two years (ah, the things we do for love), and it is indeed crawling with "flesh-eating mumblers". Flame away, stump-jumpers. Doc out.
May 30, 2003, 10:38 a.m. CST
Hulk Hogan is my wife and I cheet on him with Beanpole from the PBS series "The Tripods." HA! How's THAT for an obscure reference? BIATCH!!!
May 30, 2003, 11:14 a.m. CST
It's not like the south has a monopoly. I'd like to see a remake of the blisteringly bad weird-New Jersey film "Nothing But Trouble" done as a serious horror flick. I'd like to see something set in the burned out coal-mining town of Centralia Pennsylvania. Why NOT set something in rural Ohio? I understand the Pacific Northwest has become a hotbed of backwoods do-it-yourself meth-heads. Set a scary movie there. And I say GO AHEAD and make an urban set teens running away from crackheads flick. You could market it as a horror movie in the suburbs and as a comedy in the inner city! sk
May 30, 2003, 11:16 a.m. CST
You really can't ass rape a deer -because rape usually insinuates taken by force - and we all know from our varying degrees of experience - animals absolutely love to be fucked by humans.
May 30, 2003, 11:21 a.m. CST
Man, That state gets ripped on but it's pretty fucking backasswards. The BR mountains are nice though...
May 30, 2003, 11:23 a.m. CST
The offical music of InBred West Virginia Hillbilly cannibals should be Country/Western. They should have incorporated this into the score with Hulk Hogan as the baddie: "Get in step, BROTHER!"
May 30, 2003, 11:27 a.m. CST
May 30, 2003, 11:54 a.m. CST
when did the hulk hogan thing start?
May 30, 2003, 11:55 a.m. CST
Nothing makes a solider more ashamed than the irresponsible people that abuse freedom to support peace, in essence support Saddamn. Freedom is free for people like you only, and Peace doesn't exist you liberal commie puke faggot. A lot of people died so you could trash talk our commander in chief. You make me sick. Tell the people of Iraq that their freedom is measured in price per barrel.
May 30, 2003, 12:02 p.m. CST
by Aragorn II
I can't help but feel that the whole dead deer thing has stepped firmly into the realm of Hulk Hogan and tomboy beanpoles. Horrifying.
May 30, 2003, 12:30 p.m. CST
Stick to your guns Fat Man. Your honesty about this movie's "splatter movie with little or no actual splatter" aspects has saved my money, to be used later on Cabin Fever or maybe 28 Days Later. It would be absolutely awesome if the people who made Wrong Turn had decided to get that down and dirty with the whole thing in the ways you suggested. Oh well, perhaps another day. LanPB01, you once again almost make a cogent point but, as usual, blow it in favor of degenerating into neocon lapdog yapping. You are correct that poor white folks are the only ones who it's OK to hammer on in a racially motivated fashion, e.g. "rednecks, hillbillies, poor white trash", etc. What's interesting is the fact that only the poor ones are subject to this treatment. The same poor folks that are boned by the administrations you fawn over. The same poor folks who consume the vast majority of our nation's social services. As far as I'm concerned, it would be great fun to see a movie about little white snowflakes trapped in the big bad ghetto, too. I'd like it all the more if it were a documentary starring you as you go up to any black woman alive and try to bust out your "riotous" ebonics material without getting your ass turned into your new hat.
May 30, 2003, 12:32 p.m. CST
why the fuck do you have to bring this shit up on a talkback board for movies? Anyways, Clinton would be too busy taking polls and engaging in adultry to get involved in nonsense things like oppressive dictators and threats to our country. Oh great, now I'm no better than you! Oh well, I wash my hands of this whole thing!
May 30, 2003, 12:38 p.m. CST
Don't you guys know what this means? It means it's supposed to be a schlocky gore-fest. It means that it's not to be taken too seriously (or, if it is taken seriously, then it's supposed to be horrifying and disturbing). It doesn't have to conform to accurate knowledge about West Virginia's citizenry, and it doesn't have to meet all acceptable standards for politically correct discourse. If a bunch of cannibal hillbillies want to rape dead dear and inhumanely sodomize women like fuck-meat, well, that's kind of what crazed cannibal hillbillies would be expected to do, isn't it? And, as for the guy who said you don't have to have gore to have a good horror movie, who then cited "The Shining," there are two problems with your argument. 1) there is some gore in "The Shining," albeit not extreme. 2) This movie is not trying to be anything approaching "The Shining." That was horror, this is exploitation horror. Huge difference.
May 30, 2003, 12:55 p.m. CST
My little friend, LanPB01, what exactly is wrong with you? You seem so very confused. First you decry Hollywood and the makers of this fine exploitation film as being racist for using stereotypes of "inbred hillbillies" and such. Then you tell us that you yourself hate "white trash". Perhaps you don't understand that you are being racist when you say that. I thought you were OK with white people. I mean, you do know that white people use more social services than any other race, even when majority/minority aspects are considered, right? You also post your silly little ebonics tirades and then expect me to believe that you didn't mean them to be an insult to black folks. What a surprise, that you are too much of a coward (read:bitch) to say them to anyone's face. As far as your kneejerk little insults to me go, though, all I can say is bully for you. I don't believe in communism any more than I believe in increasing the deficit through inflating the military's budget by engaging in ultimately useless military conflicts. I do not vote the liberal party line. Furthermore, I don't see how I can be a faggot when if it weren't for me you wouldn't even be alive! Ask your mother (if she still claims you) -- we'd still be together if I hadn't ripped her taint apart with my massive pole lo those many years ago. Seriously, though, I have no problem saying anything to the face of a little troll like you. I live at 530 North First Street, #8, in San Jose, CA. Do a mapquest and come on by and we can talk about it.
May 30, 2003, 12:57 p.m. CST
by TV CASUALTY
pretty fuckin' funny. Dead raped deer - who's gonna be the first person to seize that as a talkback handle? You know it's coming...
May 30, 2003, 1:06 p.m. CST
"Just because a couple of the mountain people have stopped sucking on a "XXX" moonshine jug long enough to learn how to use the internet, don't be fooled - that state is a breeding pit for hillbilly trash." ----- Every state has "hillbilly trash", bub. I dare you to find one without it.
May 30, 2003, 1:07 p.m. CST
How the HELL does a Talkback with the words "Retarded InBred West Virginia Hillbilly Cannibals" turn into some charged debate on American Politics?!? Yep ... now I think I've seen everything.
May 30, 2003, 1:11 p.m. CST
by Mr. Belvedere
Have you seen my HoHos??
May 30, 2003, 1:15 p.m. CST
episode of the X-Files several years ago. Damn that was a good episode.
May 30, 2003, 1:17 p.m. CST
Yesterday, over at IGN, they had an interview with Eliza. At the end of it she basically said that the movie was fun if you let it be fun. If you go in expecting too much, you'll be disappointed. I think Harry should have tried to have more fun with what WAS there, rather than pine over what wasn't. My question is this: if you have a crazy inbred hillbilly cannibal, why do they HAVE to be a rapist and an animal fucker, too? Why does every hillbilly cannibal have to be the same? It would be pretty boring. If you think the movie needed more to feel complete, big guy, that's one thing...but to say the movie needed more of the stuff we've all seen before (like on that X-Fles episode, woohoo!), then I have to disagree...if I wanted to see a movie I've already seen, I'll just pop in a DVD.
May 30, 2003, 1:24 p.m. CST
by Mister Pink
It's a fucking MOVIE. It's a campy EXPLOITATION movie. Grow the fuck up you fucking fiddle-playing hicks. Now put down your fertilizer bombs and go cornhole your sisters. Oh, and Bush is a lying fucking war criminal.
May 30, 2003, 1:26 p.m. CST
by Goon Bighead
these are some truly sick fucking books
May 30, 2003, 1:29 p.m. CST
Deers are usually asking for it.
May 30, 2003, 1:30 p.m. CST
...but reading angry geeks (and holy crap, are you friggin' angry!) duke it out over these political "issues" is really making me laugh. Thanks, guys. Especially you, shavemypoodle.co, for starting it all. You're a real gem of a human being. What's up with Raiders of the Lost Ark?
May 30, 2003, 1:33 p.m. CST
Harry my friend, I have been visiting your website for several years and I'm beginning to notice a trend in your reviews. I came to your site in the mid 90's looking for a fresh perspective, and you delivered. It was enthusiastic and decidedly non-judgemental. However you have slipped into the trap that most critics fall into...you believe you can make a better film than the one you reviewed. "Why not do this? Why couldn't they have done this? They blew the opportunity to do this..." This particular film is not at issue because I wouldn't see it on a dare. It just doesn't interest me. But given many of your recent reviews, Matrix Reloaded in particular (which I have yet to see), you referenced all the things YOU wanted and didn't get. Everyone has an idea about what should be on the screen. If we get what we wanted, then we spread the word. If we don't, then we also spread the word. But if we start ranting about all the things we would have done to make it better, it comes off sounding pretentious. These aren't your movies. You have no say in what goes on the screen and, if you excuse my saying so, you shouldn't. Being a self professed movie geek with an albeit successful website giving you access to filmakers and a wide audience does not qualify you to write, produce or direct a film. You ARE qualified to render an opinion as a viewer because that is all that you are. Please stop believing your role in the creative process of movie making is to get behind the wheel and steer us into what you believe should be on the screen. Tell us about what is actually there. Judge the film on what it is, not what you believed it should be. Don't give us alternative plot lines or twists. Don't tell us how you would make it better. You sound like one of the studio hacks who believe their position in the corporate hierarchy means they possess creativity. You know what they do...you know how silly it is for them to do it. We also have enough critics out there who have never had a creative thought in their lives and despise those that do. I hate to see you fall into the same trap. It won't be easy. You've been doing this for sometime. So I would ask that you take a moment before you sit down at the keyboard to compose your next review and consider that I may be right. This is my first time writing to you, so I wanted to also say thanks for entertaining me since 1996. Its been wonderful watching your success and sharing in your enthusiasm for the movies. Call me...GarrettJax
May 30, 2003, 1:36 p.m. CST
sorry, I meant shavemypoddle.co is the real gem of a human being. I didn't mean to misspell your name.
May 30, 2003, 1:51 p.m. CST
"I decry those idiots making these films because they REFUSE to make any kind of exploitation anymore except of one class - white men". Thank you! These days it's socially acceptable to make racial stereotypes about white people as hillbillies and get away with it, and it's fucking wrong, as wrong as stereotyping blacks as ghetto people. Oh, but I'm sure some of you morons on here still think that white people are the only people in the world that can be racist.
May 30, 2003, 2:06 p.m. CST
Except they aren't stereotyping white people as hillbillies, they are stereotyping hillbillies as inbred cannibals.
May 30, 2003, 2:14 p.m. CST
by Mr Funktastic
Huge corporations, that's who. The same megawealthy fucks spoon-feeding us the 'patriotic' party line while they simultaneously make billions off of the war. Don't think so? GE makes defense electronics, and also owns NBC. If you're questioning why we fought this war, just follow the money. If you wonder why so many Americans are goose-stepping flag wavers, why Bush was able to get away with all this without actually finding the non-existent WMDs, just walk down your street at night and see how many houses have that blue light of brainwashing coming out of the windows.
May 30, 2003, 2:19 p.m. CST
that if you decry those that are intolerant, than you yourself are being intolerant! That's how the whole "reverse racism" thing works.
May 30, 2003, 2:42 p.m. CST
A story about crazy white inbred hillbilly cannibals has just as much of a right to be told as does a story about inner city minority crack whore cannibals. It isn't racism if you make a movie that portrays these countercultures...it's just storytelling. However, the fact is that right now, the story about the crazy white guy is more likely to get made. That's not fair. The question is why.
May 30, 2003, 2:58 p.m. CST
for the retard who talked about spending time in the Blue Ridge Mountains in WV. Uh...they're in Virgina. BUY A MAP YOU FUCKIN' GRANNY HUMPING PIMPLE SUCKING TURD SMOKER!
May 30, 2003, 3:15 p.m. CST
by TV CASUALTY
Seriously, who's gonna be the first person to take dead raped deer and make it the TB handle? And upset West Virginians, sad about being libeled? Are you serious? Do you think New Yorkers give a shit about every crime movie that comes out? Jesus, get over it. People wouldn't make a movie about inbred WV hillbillies if it wasn't such a fucked up state. But I like skarekroe's idea. Spread the hillbilly movies out. How about Pennsylvania? Some scary shit once you leave Philly or Pittsburgh. There's a reason they call the rest of the state "Pennsyltucky". And please, god PLEASE, spare us from any more complaints about tortured, oppressed white men. "it's only PC to make fun of white men...blahblahblah." Shut up. Can you honestly try to equate a couple of hillbilly movies and Martin Lawrence jokes with hundreds of years of oppression? Egads people, get a little fucking perspective. Oh, I'm just getting warmed up. I haven't posted here in forever, I've missed this shit.
May 30, 2003, 3:32 p.m. CST
LanPB01, why would you assume that because I live in San Jose that I am on welfare? Although in an earlier post you claim to be "from the victimized states", you later claim to be in CA on your way up to Sacramento. Is it that you were born elsewhere and decided to come to California like so many other unwanted riffraff? If so, go away and fight for your kin back where you was born. If you are in fact a Californian, you would know that San Jose and the rest of the Silicon Valley have the highest rents and real estate values, short of NYC, in the entire country. That's because this is the place where all of the computer stuff you while away your working hours fucking around with instead of actually working was INVENTED here. I'm confident that I make more money than you do, if that matters, and none of it comes from taxpayers. In fact, we actually agree on the point that being PC for its own sake is stupid, wrongheaded and ultimately fake anyway. To answer the PithyPencilNeck, the reason I posted my address is simple. I don't consider it to be dangerous because nobody who reads it on aintitcool.com would ever do anything about it except maybe mail me a piece of poo or something similarly "heavy". LanPB01 tried to come off like a tough lil' guy and I just wanted him to know where to find me if he really meant it. Now he's responded by saying he'll come by on his way up to get a job or whatever it was. If he wants to threaten me, it's his narrow ass he's risking. I just didn't want to give him yet another excuse for being such a pussy. PencilNeck, you can concern yourself with other matters than my stupidity. Thanks for caring, though.
May 30, 2003, 3:34 p.m. CST
by Smokey Leonard
The People Under the Stairs. Urban hillbillies and the hero is a little black kid so puh-leeze stop complaining. Oh, and George W Bush is a chickenhawk, liar, useless, stupid, ignorant, drink-drive, coke-head, draft-dodger coward thief.
May 30, 2003, 3:44 p.m. CST
Thanks, LanPB01, and good luck to you too.
May 30, 2003, 3:48 p.m. CST
LanPB01, although it's Gray (not Grey)Davis, I agree with you. Our utilities here in CA are fucked due to his lack of leadership. That's reason enough, among others, to get him ousted. Oh, and by the way, PencilNeck, of course that was a fake address. Don't let that make you think you're right about everything, though, LanPB01. Just some things. Your ally in anti-PCness, blue7
May 30, 2003, 4:15 p.m. CST
by TV CASUALTY
No need to give cocksuckers a bad name... Sorry, sometimes I just leap into these little wars unprovoked and unasked.
May 30, 2003, 4:24 p.m. CST
by TV CASUALTY
It's almost quitting time, it's a beautiful day here in (finally) sunny Philadelphia, and I gotta get to the ballgame tonight. Whee! Y'all have a good time. Even you rednecks who are just gonna go home, drink a quart of mash and then dry-fuck your sisters. Peace.
May 30, 2003, 4:29 p.m. CST
If a film like "Wrong Turn" doesn't go all the way with using its R rating, then it might as well not make the journey. "Matrix: Reloaded" does not have to "use" the full range of R-rated badness, because there is already awesome stuff there. But a film like "Wrong Turn," with its paper-thin storyline and cliched direction, needs the R-rated swearing, nudity, and lewdness to complete the package. To have hot chicks in this film without nudity, it's kind of like eating "sugar free" ice cream.....if you're gonna eat it, go for the real stuff, or just don't do it at all. Or fat-free Doritos.....again, you might as well not eat them at all.
May 30, 2003, 4:43 p.m. CST
Just a clarification; that LORD OF THE RINGS sword is called "Deer Raper." Thanks for all the laughs folks on this boring assed Friday afternoon in the workplace. It's hard to tell who's more full of shit...liberals or conservatives. You're all hilarious in your own hypocritical narrow minded ways. Also, the Blue Ridge Mountains DON'T run through West Virginia. They start in Maryland, run all the way through Virginia (where the Blue Ridge Parkway begins), into North Carolina and then kinda drift off into Tennessee. Yer thinking of the Appalachian's, in general. There, ya'll been edeekated by this here East Virginia flatlander. Kahyuk. ** I agree, this movie sounds like it could be fun, if that's your cuppa tea, but I think I'll wait until it's out on DVD. Hmm...sounds like that might be next week.
May 30, 2003, 4:55 p.m. CST
they would never make a movie like this and set it in a inner city ghetto. it would be 'racist'. Nothing scares yuppy urbanites more than poor people. oh well atleast I know there's more than just steers and queers in Texas. There's big fat red haired idiots too!
May 30, 2003, 4:59 p.m. CST
nothing wrong with a little dear rape. they're beautiful creatures!
May 30, 2003, 6:02 p.m. CST
Harry. GET LAID. Pay if you have to. Please, you're becoming a danger to yourself and others here. Judging ANY movie by the amount of tits is just really pathetic, unless you're 12. You mention it 'pulling back' but never quantify that in any way except they didn't rape anyone and the girls didn't get naked. Oh, sorry, the gore effects were 'dark'. Sorry man, I'm completely ignoring this review.
May 30, 2003, 7:58 p.m. CST
Don Surber of the Charleston Daily Mail summed it up best. "Play off this movie with the "West Virginia: We're hungry for visitors" campaign. Use as our new mascot a knockoff of Three Finger, Saw Tooth and One Eye. He can make sly reference to cannibalism by telling people to bring their own steak sauce. State officials have forgotten why we want tourists: to part the fools from their money. And the biggest fools are those who believe movie stereotypes are real." Full article http://dailymail.com/news/Don+Surber-20030530/
May 30, 2003, 8:19 p.m. CST
by Smurfeus Maximus
What was that I read about a shot-for-shot remake of Raiders of the Lost Ark?!?!?! Did I just blow a brain cell or something??? That's arguably the worst idea Steven Spielberg has had since Hook. Why is there no outrage? No mobs bearing pitchforks and torches? Are we all so jaded that a remake of this magnitude of "bad-ideaness" doesn't even faze us anymore??? Harry nearly had a stroke telling us about the Pinocchio remake in the works, but this one takes the cake!
May 30, 2003, 8:38 p.m. CST
I too am bothered that no one else seemed to notice the Raiders of The Lost Ark remake/rape that's apparently shot for shot. Last time a shot for shot remake happened, we got stuck with Psycho...and you all know where that went...
May 30, 2003, 8:48 p.m. CST
and loved every minute of it.
May 31, 2003, 1:20 a.m. CST
by jules windex
"Whoa, dude, you're so tight."
May 31, 2003, 4:43 a.m. CST
Harry Knowles obviously has issues. Realizing that, I have written my own review of the film, which hopefully will shed some light on the quality of the film rather than swearing and bashing for lack of nudity and rape. Ever since I was a young child, horror movies have enticed me. Although at the time, they admittedly scared the pants off of me, I still couldn't help but watch them. Sure, I'd be terrified afterwards, and usually end up sleeping only a mere portion of the night, spending the remainder with both eyes strenuously fixated on the door ensuring nothing evil was coming to get me. Every creak, every groan scaring me to the point of being completely frozen and utterly helpless. I've never felt more alive... Throughout the following years, I've seen almost every horror movie ever made. Be it an Italian splatter import, or the low-budget straight to video romps, I've sat through them all and even now own the vast majority of them. My love of the genre even convinced me to attend Film School, where I majored in Special FX Makeup for Film & Television. Learning the ins and the outs of the filmmaking and more specifically the effects process was an intense love for me, and to be honest, only helped broaden my love of the genre. My sole contribution to the horror film genre, was in the late 90's when I contributed blood to the set of Tales From the Crypt: Bordello of Blood while in college. Hardly what you'd call a classic horror film, but a cool trivia anecdote nonetheless. In recent years however, my viewing of the horror film has tailed off somewhat. The reason being, they simply don't make these kind of movies very well anymore. You'd think in an era where young filmmakers who were weaned on the classic examples of my generation and now have control of the camera, that we'd be seeing some amazing examples of horror done right. But unfortunately for a fan of the genre like myself, it simply does not happen very often. There have however been a handful of examples in the past few years where true horror has been in fine form. I'm not talking the psychological thrillers that pass for mainstream horror these days, ala Sixth Sense, The Others, The Ring, etc., which admittedly, are all damn fine films in their own right but just can't be classified as horror in my eyes. I'm talking balls to the wall horror, with gore and shocks aplenty. Jeepers Creepers is the most recent example that springs to mind, with a setting reminiscent of classic horror films, a classic creature that remains in the shadows for a good portion of the film, plenty of visceral imagery, and an ending that simply makes you cringe in disbelief. These sorts of films harken back to the glory days of the genre, when young filmmakers like Craven, Hooper, Argento and Fulci were crafting cinematic excellence and coating it with a blood red canvas. Last House on the Left, Zombie, Suspiria, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes... It's these types of films I yearn to see made once more, and I'm happy to report that Wrong Turn most certainly fits the mold perfectly. It's odd, ever since I was a young tyke, I've followed the progression of these types of films from their development all the way until opening night at which point I could be found sitting in a prime seat directly in the center of a dark theater waiting to be terrified and disgusted. There hasn't been a film in recent memory that I can recall sneaking up on me and releasing without any fanfare, but Wrong Turn did just that. I hadn't even seen a preview for it until tonight, never mind even heard of it. In a rather convenient twist of fate, as we were trying to decide which film we should take in on this fine evening, Marina hollered from the living room that I should come take a look at a trailer spot that was running on TV at that moment. As I reached the living room, the ad was unfortunately just ending, but I saw enough to pique my interest. I made my way to the PC, and decided to take a wild stab at the URL for the official website of the film that was just on TV. I guessed, and up it came on my screen on the first try. Very cool, and a sure sign of things to come I was hoping. Upon very briefly navigating the site, not knowing anything about the film in question, I realized that what lay before me was a good old fashioned horror film, starring one of the hottest women ever. That was all I needed to know. But for good measure, I decided to watch the trailer which was conveniently located on the site. I got through about 20 seconds before I realized I simply HAD to see this movie, and before anything was ruined for me, I closed my browser completely. So, there I sat, knowing I wanted to see a new horror film that started tonight, without knowing a single thing about the plot. That my friends, is golden. In this day and age of extensive hype and merchandising, it's a rare thing indeed to come upon something you truly want to see, without having any part of it ruined for you. And that's why I am going to refrain completely from saying anything more than if you are at all a fan of horror as I am, then do yourself a favour and go see this. It is the single best example of the genre done right that I've seen in years. For others who may not be as into horror as I am, I'll warn you now. The visuals in the film are intense, graphic and disturbing. The tension is unbearable at times, and you'll most certainly grip whatever is available at the time. Wrong Turn is old-fashioned horror done right. And horror fans know that there's simply no better recommendation a film of this type could garner. Important Note: Do yourselves a favour, and do not visit the official website as it extensively gives away almost the entire story... hurrah (I've purposely not posted it here for that very reason). With little starpower when compared to Summer event films like The Matrix and X2, and a realtively weak marketing push, this film is destined to be ignored in theaters. It's DVD release is most likely where the real audience will find it. But do yourself a favour and see it now before it's gone. It won't have the same impact seeing it on a small screen. Don't watch the trailers, don't read the reviews, or anything of that sort. Just do as I did, and go in without knowing anything and you'll most certainly have a complete blast just as I did. I simply must comment to those who will judge this film by the mantra that the only reason to see a horror film of this type, is to witness over the top disgusting acts of violence and pointless nudity accompanied by lewd sexual acts. Well, to those folks, I suggest they get a life and sit back and listen to what they're actually saying. Is it any wonder that the horror genre died many years ago with attitudes like that permeating our atmosphere? Nothing about that outlook is commercially viable, which is why you'll never see it again, unless it's straight to DVD. Wrong Turn features gore, suspense, action and scenes of depravity the likes of which haven't been seen in ages. It was more than enough R-rating for this diehard horror buff, although I imagine the DVD release will include extensions on what made it into theaters, which is fine by me.
May 31, 2003, 5:48 a.m. CST
For those ignorant geekos out there , of course Harry would be able to tell that the deer had been raped. When he whips in his pecker he'd find somebody elses stone cold deposit already in there ...oh the horror ! Harry you virtually gush enthusiasm for for scenes of rape and sexual violence in these films which is ..odd. But at least I know why Michael Winner used to stick graphic rape scenes in his Death Wish films..its for folks like you!. Perhaps if they remade Deliverance and you got the Ned Beattie role you might change your mind. How about that big guy, a hillbilly at one end whilst giving oral to Bambi's dad at the other.. that would teach you , you sick fecker.
May 31, 2003, 11:56 a.m. CST
by Captain Otto
I had to groan when the chick wanted to use the bathroom in the inbred hillbilly mutants' shack, and there actually was one! I guess they stew people parts in their jacuzzi?
May 31, 2003, 12:30 p.m. CST
The trailer made you want to see this trash? Pathetic.....PLANT!
May 31, 2003, 12:30 p.m. CST
Saw this film at a drive-in movie last night, it's like I went into a time warp, to the days when I wasn't even born yet. When films like this would play three at a time, and people could talk, run around their cars, and still be able to follow the threadbare plot. Notch out.
May 31, 2003, 1:24 p.m. CST
Hey hey, I know how about a new movie rating. PC-13 or 18 or whatever set of numeric digits you might require. I mean hey you cant even make suggestions to make a lame ass movie less lame ass cause.. well you pretty much live a life of celluloid slavery and pretty much can predict what happens in movies ... before they happen.. hence the predict. I dunno y'all need to either lobby for PC movies and then go home and read your PC books and go to your PC churches and eat your PC TV dinners. On the other hand I think the only problem with harry's review is that .. well harry honestly this whole horror movie genre needs re-invention. I mean even the elements are no longer effective. I think its the numbed to violence factor. You watch so much violence and crap on a daily basis that movies become well .. fake! in a world where cnn fabricates way better then the studios .. Actually here is my suggestion I think that CNN should open a consultancy firm for reviewing studio scripts and then they should tweek the crap out of them to make them more ... buyable. Who would know better about fabricating stories and selling them then the masters of fiction. And in the end maybe we should have a segregated schooling system and churches and websites and bathrooms. Bring in the new world Politically Correct order.
May 31, 2003, 1:51 p.m. CST
I think it was called "Abducted" and had quite a bit of T&A. They got it right too: the nutjob hillbilly is VERY horny and just wants to touch the cute young girl he kidnaps!
May 31, 2003, 2:04 p.m. CST
I've been away for a while, how did the Hulk Hogan thing get started? Oh, and dead raped deer are the sexiest tomboy beanpoles on the planet.
May 31, 2003, 2:50 p.m. CST
I'm new around here, so I'm not sure what exactly you're meaning by saying that, but I'm assuming that you are suggesting that I work for the studio or something along those lines? I can assure you, that's not true. And if you'll re-read what I wrote earlier, then you'll notcie that i didn;t watch thrailer, I only watched the first 15-20 sec of it before turning it off. The movie was good, I'll bet half you people saying it's trash haven;t even seeing it. *rolls eyes*
May 31, 2003, 3:02 p.m. CST
by Jack Burton
Seeing you routinely posting on here in response to attacks and negative comments is pretty strange. I've been coming to this site pretty much from the beginning and I don't ever remember you commenting on your own stories as much as you have been lately. Some of these guys have always been assholes, why start joining in the flame wars now?
May 31, 2003, 5:04 p.m. CST
by frank cotton
they take a lot of the pressure off of NORTH CAROLINA. SMOKY LEONARD - i patiently await the day THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS finally hits DVD - my favorite part: when he shows up with the shotgun, in the gimp suit, and starts shooting the walls. CLASSIC!
May 31, 2003, 8:01 p.m. CST
by Carl w/ a 'K'
From the unmade "whoKilledbambi?" to Tom Green tossing a moose's corpsey salad along Saskadelphia prarie interscections, we have been raping deer for centuries...millenia, in fact, because there are rock drawings in neolithic caves in France depicting beastiality between man and deer; hillbillies, on the other hand will just about rape anything they see. I live in a hillbilly population and have seen children bite the legs off of birds while they watch their drunk one eyed father rape a boot filled with makeshift vaginal mud...its all part of that wacky world we forget exists between Los Angeles and New York...the habitat of the stupid people.
May 31, 2003, 8:17 p.m. CST
You are the man. And don't worry about the dead raped deer, you can donate a couple of the ones you keep in your basement for the sequel... This movie is a piece of crap by the way everyone, stay away. Might as well stay at home and watch The Hills Have Eyes or Deliverance from your local Video Stop.
May 31, 2003, 8:21 p.m. CST
I don't know that I think psxnation or whatever is a plant. I will say that if he considers Jeepers Creepers to be a decent horror/splatter movie, I would have to disagree. Same goes for Clownhouse. That pedophile that made the two of those (Nava?) is a bit of a hack as well as a buggerer. That said, I still have to take Harry's word for it that the gore is more implied than realized in beautiful, bright crimson. All the "jumpin' out from behind a bush with a big ole knife and then cutting away as a really gross sound plays" bullshit won't cut it. Sounds like it can wait for DVD. Oh, and even with the "amusing anecdote" (the jury's out on that one) about working on the rotten queef that was Bordello of Blood, the post ran about 8000 words too long. Walter Mitty, anyone?
May 31, 2003, 11:51 p.m. CST
The thing with the knife was just the hill billys messing with the girl, they were doing it for a little while so it wasn't just them about to slit her throat. I do think they intended to make a new generation of their clan off her why else would they tie her down spread eagled? The movie simply didn't take the sexual violence past the point of implication. I don't care if there isn't nudity in a horror movie if I'm actually scared, and I was scared by Wrong Turn. In the theater where I saw it everone clapped at the end and a couple of people cheered, so I think that generaly people who see it will like it.
June 1, 2003, 12:27 a.m. CST
The actor who played Chris was bugging me because I had seen him before in something but I couldn't remember what it was until now. Desmond Harrington played Charlie's father as an adult on Taken. Glad I finally figured it out. After seeing Wrong Turn, I'm not going into the Woods no more.
June 1, 2003, 2:11 a.m. CST
The only reason it was so long, is it wasn't intended to be posted here. I posted it on our forums at psxnation, and that's why it was so long. I just happened to be cruising on by here last night and read Harry's review, and it disturbed me. His frequent mentions of rape and things that weren't neccessary in the film made me realize that I wanted people to know that this film isn't what Harry Knowles is making it out to be. Ordinarily I agree with Harry's comments for the most part, but on this, I feel he was way off base. And he should really tone his language down, because what's stopping kids from reading these reviews?
June 2, 2003, 12:56 a.m. CST
You know when I first started coming to this site I actually thought that sometimes Harry had some valid points on some things. Now after reading his "reviews" for Finding Nemo and Wrong Turn, I am starting to see light shining on the absolute posibility of Harry being nothing more than a pretentious wannabe know it all. With all due respect that is. Apparently a horror movie isn't a horror movie unless it's as disgusting and offensive as garbage like I Spit On Your Grave. There just aint nothing quite like a 25 minute rape scene aye? I think you need to get your head out of your ass and realize that a movie can be just a movie. It doesn't have to change the world or be your number one Father Son movie. Funny I didn't realize that the genre was big enough to have one unless you wanna dump Vice Versa and that one just like it with Dudley Moore and Kirk Cameron or whoever it was into a bowl and fish out the prettiest ticket. Wrong Turn was fine as it was. THere was nothing wrong with it at all. The sound was fantastic and the gore effects were superb. It blew awy shit like They and Darkness Falls. IT didn't wink at it's audience to let them know that this is an homage. It wasn't. It was a movie inspired by what horror used to be. Why do you have to know anything about anyone. Sure character development and blah blah blah. But this isn't about an alien predator turning invisible and letting loose on a bunch of marines. It was meant to be a "this could happen to you" and yes although there is no chance of it actually happening, it's about sitting back and watching someone getting their face ripped in half by barb wire and then having your friends watch your body being sliced up in front of you. Relate to the experience not the characters. That's fucking scary as hell. So lighten up, and don't act like a geek god. You're just another person like me or anyone else.
June 2, 2003, 2:47 a.m. CST
Seems like you can't make a cannibal, redneck movie these days without some yokel spewing out his resentment of the ONE OUNCE of sensitivity given to ACTUAL minorities. You Confederacy-lovers REALLY got it tough in this country, what with getting harrassed by the cops and all. At this rate, we'll NEVER have a Southern, white president!!
June 2, 2003, 10:10 a.m. CST
I saw 2 really enjoyable movies this weekend. The Italian Job, and much to my suprise, WRONG TURN. I'm not gonna say Wrong Turn is the greatest horror movie ever, but I'm will say that it's the best one I've seen in a long long time. On a normal scale I'd give this flick 3 out of 4 stars. The reaction in the theater was decidedly mixed...I heard a few "that was the worst movie of all time" comments, but I also heard a lot of applause and saw many smiling faces walking out of the theater. If you're a horror fan, or if you're someone who can go into a theater with an open mind, please give this movie a chance!
June 2, 2003, 12:10 p.m. CST
Harry knows shit. My brother directed me to this goddamned dumb website, and let me tell you, reading this fat fuck's opinions and reviews has made me dumber just for having looked at it. Your opinions and quips are not even clever enough to be funny or interesting. Harry Knowles has got to be the most worthless piece of shit around. Who gives a fuck about this site, fatty? Obviously a bunch of retarded-ass fucking morons that enjoy wasting their time! I sure have wasted mine. So, thanx for nothing but giving me a headache you fucking fat turd!
June 2, 2003, 12:18 p.m. CST
Lemmiwinks, you've taken a really bizarre approach to evalutating a horror film. You are obviously not a fan of the genre. Your literary reference doesn't even make sense. Stick to films like "The Hours," or other similar films that will soothe your ovaries.
June 2, 2003, 10:54 p.m. CST
"Every state has hillbilly trash, bub. I dare you to find one without it." I live in the single wealthiest county in the nation, in the wealthiest section of my particular town. Yet a hillbilly in a red pickup truck moved in next door about two years ago. And this hillbilly and his new wife are starting to breed away, plus she has a young'un from a previous marriage. Hillbillies are everywhere, I tells ya!
June 3, 2003, 1:53 p.m. CST
by Alanna Banana
Just kidding. I'm a limo class fuck from New York and I'd rather BE a dead raped deer than live in that bass ackwards state. It shouldn't even really be considered part of America.
June 3, 2003, 6:52 p.m. CST
hmmm... ya gotta love a movie about in bred rednecks but all those supposedly real nasty redneck film were indie films a studio film is gonna wussie out everytime, baby! there's a much cooler film coming out called HEY DJ! here's a link about HEY DJ: http://us.imdb.com/Title?0322621 it stars 80's hot babe Charlotte Lewis from the eddie murphy movie the golden child anyone remember her? HEY DJ!!!
June 3, 2003, 8:43 p.m. CST
Look, I've lived a lot of time in the south (i've escaped now)... but i have to say it has both it's good points and it's bad. I don't take any depiction of inbred hillbillies as a statement about the whole of WV. It's a movie! Not all Californians are vapid and new agey.... not all the folks in Seattle wear grunge... not everyone in Ireland has bad teeth (close... but not all). The point is that stereotypes usually have a small grain of truth SOMEWHERE in the past, and that bit of truth is exploited and blown out of proportion. Now calm down.... it is just a movie.
June 4, 2003, 2:12 a.m. CST
my bottom hurts.....
June 7, 2003, 1:36 a.m. CST
I just want to say that I think that Chris Cooper is hot. When I first saw him in American Beauty, I thought he was a creep, a creep with excellent taste in men, but still a creep. Anyways, I rented Lone Star two years ago because I thought that Kris Kristofferson was the hottest man who ever lived (I'm over it). When I saw that Cooper was in it, I was kinda like "oh shit, I have to watch this guy for two hours." By the end of the movie he had me eating outta the palm of his hand, major sexy hunk. Then a few months later my Ethics teacher made us watch Matewan, and when Cooper showed up on the screen, I was like "hi there." I forgot about him for awhile and then when he won his Oscar and almost cried he had me again. Sexiest man alive, I swear.
June 16, 2003, 4:03 p.m. CST
Squeel like a pig, brother!
July 25, 2003, 3:37 a.m. CST
The Good: The opening sequence is actually pulse pounding as we are introduced to the maddening capabilities of the mutant hillbilly cannibals. Right from the start it will catch your attention. Depending on how much characterization you want your mutant hillbilly cannibals to have, you might think that this belongs in
July 29, 2003, 4:52 a.m. CST
by Pan Demonium
FACT: There is a certain type of humor in our culture that makes fun of the rural stereotype. FACT: This humor is generally expressed as jokes dealing with poverty, ignorance, and bizzare sex such as incest and beastiality. FACT: Like all ethnic humor, these jokes are often funny despite being offensive. The thing is, these jokes are always told about those further south or in a smaller town.I am sure that New Yorkers probably consider Pennsylvania to be as backward as we here in PA do you down in WV... just as you look at Kentucky the same way, and they look at Tennessee... Lighten up and have a sense of humor... Just fill in the blanks with the state directly south of yours: "What's the most popular pick-up line in ___?" "Nice tooth." "Did you hear they found a new use for sheep in ___?" "...Wool." "How did the 12-year old girl from___ know that her dad was fucking the livestock?" "His dick tasted funny." ...Good night folks, you've been great.
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