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SIFF: Vern here with AICN's 1st review of BUBBA HO-TEP!!!

Hey folks, Harry here... Vern sent in a review for a movie I've just plum never heard of? From the sound of it, I'm shocked we haven't. I mean a Bruce Campbell movie left uncovered by AICN? Hey Zeus Morales! Ya know? And with Don Coscarelli, you'd think Quint might've reported in, but that lazy bastard's been holding out on us! Well, no more. Vern here is breaking what can only be a conspiracy of silence at the very heights of the corporate whores at AICN, and he's breaking that door down to tell you folks for the first time about BUBBA HO-TEP... A film that studios everywhere are conspiring to keep from you. The bastards! Here ya go... Thank Beezlebub for Vern!

Dear Harry,

Like I promised I'm back with more incredibly insightful and well Written SIFF coverage and last night I went to the midnight show of BUBBA HO TEP. I know you guys have already reviewed the shit out of this movie but personally I never read any of those reviews because I was waiting for me to review it. And I sincerely doubt I was the only one. So here it is folks, your very first look at BUBBA HO TEP.

The first thing you have to know about BUBBA HO TEP is that it is the director of PHANTASM and BEASTMASTER doing a movie where Bruce Campbell plays an elderly Elvis Presley in a rest home who teams up with Ossie Davis who thinks he's JFK and they fight a mummy wearing a cowboy hat who tries to suck old people's souls out of their assholes.

Actually, that's the only thing you need to know about the movie. I trust that I have sold all of you. The end.

Now some of you may be asking, who the hell is Bruce Campbell and why should I care? Well, Bruce Campbell is a phenomenon that hasn't quite hit the internet yet, but I predict that some day he will have a bit of a cult following here. You would probaly recognize him if you saw him, he was in the opening scene of CONGO and one time he was on an episode of X-FILES. Also he did a remake of one of the Herbie the Lovebug movies for TV and a ripoff of TWISTER. It's hard to explain but some day you will see some of his movies and like his delivery of oneliners so much that you will become embarassingly worshipful of him, saying "Bruce Campbell is GOD!!!" and going on every talkback demanding that Bruce Campbell play every character in every movie ever, especially if that character is Spider-man, Super-Man, Bat-man or Daredevil-man. And then you will remember that it was ol' Vern that turned you onto Bruce Campbell and you will thank me.

No don't worry I'm just shitting you, I know you people are obsessed with Bruce because of EVIL DEAD. But apparently the Seattle International Film Festival doesn't know that because BUBBA HO TEP is one of the few movies they only scheduled one show of. Of course it was one of the first screeningss of the festival to sell out and there was a long line of optimistic hardcores waiting outside failing to get rush tickets.

When I first heard about this movie I thought two things:

1. How in fuck's name did they get Ossie Davis to do this movie and

B) What a goofy ass idea for a movie.

What I didn't realize is that this wasn't just some silly high concept b-movie idea, it's actually an adaptation of a short story by Joe R. Lansdale. Now I never heard of the dude before but maybe you have Harry because he's from Texas and he invented a martial art. Most ofl the great horror pictures of the classic era are based on literature, from DRACULA to FRANKENSTEIN to THE INVISIBLE MAN and this is the same kind of deal. The only difference is that it has Elvis and alot of it is about him being sad that he can't get a boner. There's alot of internal dialogue in an Elvis voice. It feels very literary like it must be very faithful to the original short story. Still I wouldn't be surprised if years down the line we get a highñminded big budget Francis Ford Coppola produced remake called Joe R. Lansdale's Bubba Ho Tep.

This movie is not your typical Elvis and JFK vs. mummy in a nursing home movie and that's what really impressed me about it. It doesn't really take as much of a silly slapstick approach as you might expect. For starters, it has kind of a languid pace and low key action that is appropriate to a movie where the heroes are in a nursing home. Elvis spends alot of the movie in bed, and when he does decide to go out and take on the mummy he does it with the aid of a walker and a wheelchair.

I gotta be honest, I am not a fan of mummies. All that Egyptian shit is great and Boris Karloff's makeup was incredible. But then the mummy sits most of the movie out and when he's there he's just this crumbling old corpse that walks slower than Jason Voorhees and without the ability to magically catch up anyway. Even the Hammer mummy movies are boring and of course I don't need to tell you that the more recent mummy movie with whatsisname, Harry's co-star from MONKEY BONE, was one of the most moronic and ineffective pieces of big budget garbage and filth that any of us have ever had to sit through that was not directed by Michael Bay or Roland Emmerich.

That's part of the genius of this movie though because a) the suckiness of mummies allows the film to center on the heroes instead of the villains, which is rare in horror. And second of all, some slow walking mummy asshole is a pretty good physical match for a fat old man who can barely walk. It's a fair fight.

The direction is solid and they treat the subject with a fairly straight face. There are some pretty good atmospheric scenes of the rest home at night where they make rest homes seem creepy like empty hospitals or abandoned insane asylums or haunted slaughterhouses. As you'd expect, there's plenty of pop iconography type of crap, lots of little jokes about Elvis and JFK, like Elvis working "thankyouveramuch" into conversations or JFK keeping framed mugshots of Lee Harvey Oswald in his room. These were the crowdpleasing moments. I liked how Elvis feebly puts on his trademark gold glasses in order to see, and how he still knows karate.

But what impressed me most about the movie was that it was less of a caricature of Elvis than you'd expect. This is definitely going to be remembered as one of Mr. Campbell's great roles outside of Ashley in the EVIL DEAD pictures. We all love him because of his great physical acting in EVIL DEAD 2 and his cocky delivery of one liners. But usually he's playing the same character. Here he tries to actual transform into Elvis and he ends up with a more multi-layered performance. On the first layer it's an Elvis impersonation but on the next layer he has to convey his loneliness, his guilt about leaving his family and his embarassment about the pathetic state of his body and/or penis. He is also playing a character that is much older and fatter than he is, and has to do action scenes as a feeble old man. He manages to pull all of these things off. Elvis has been an old joke since before most of the newsies were even born, but by making him a sympathetic character first and the king of rock n roll second Mr. Campbell turns him into a great screen character.

And let's be honest, as much as we all love Bruce the guy hasn't had that many truly good roles. There's Ash, and I thought the bank robbery picture RUNNING TIME was pretty good, and he was funny in those crappy tv shows he used to do, and then there's uh... I mean he was on HOMICIDE once. That's about it. Most of his movies there's no fuckin way any of you guys would watch them if somebody else was starring. It's not his fault, he does a good job but let's just be frankly honest here. And as long as we're doing that let's admit that EVIL DEAD 2 is the best of the trilogy and ARMY OF DARKNESS is the worst, and the theatrical cut of ARMY is way better than the director's cut. Please agree in talkbacks below thank you.

So Bruce makes this movie but almost as important is Ossie Davis as the guy who thinks he's JFK. I thought the idea would be that JFK's brain was implanted into a different body, but no, this character believes that he is the body of JFK but that his brain has been replaced by a bag of sand. And that Lyndon Johnson is chasing him. Ossie Davis plays the character with all the conviction you would imagine from Ossie Davis and that makes it hilarious. Elvis knows this guy's a nutcase but he's the only guy who believes that he's actually Elvis, so there is a bond that is pretty sweet.

One thing I noticed, there is no Elvis music in the movie. I guess they probaly couldn't get the rights, just like KURT AND COURTNEY. The Elvis estate did not want people to know the truth.

The way the movie ends it is hard to imagine they would do a sequel, which is kind of too bad. It leaves alot of unanswered questions, like why the hell is the mummy wearing a cowboy hat, and how in fuck's name did they get Ossie Davis to do this movie?

Anyway, this is a little more serious and thoughtful than you might expect but the kids at the SIFF midnight show behaved themselves and seemed to love it. So when you go see this movie, on my recommendation not because you were already planning to, I don't think you will be disappointed.

thanks

Vern

OUTLAW-VERN

Readers Talkback
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  • May 27, 2003, 1:21 a.m. CST

    I've Been Aware of This Movie for Months.

    by CHEWBLACCA

    I can't believe AICN missed this one.I hope it can finally find distribution.

  • May 27, 2003, 1:22 a.m. CST

    Is Bruce's new book REALLY called MAKE LOVE THE BRUCE CAMPBELL W

    by Cash Bailey

    If so then he's even cooler than we had previously imagined.

  • May 27, 2003, 1:26 a.m. CST

    Wait a Sec...

    by CHEWBLACCA

    You fucking lie like George Lucas! I KNOW you guys have covered this in the past.

  • May 27, 2003, 2:55 a.m. CST

    He was joking, you dolts.

    by Lenny Nero

  • May 27, 2003, 3:41 a.m. CST

    Gimp in your pants

    by Vern

    Who would read this "horseship"? Obviously not the other newsies who didn't even make it to the first paragraph. Thanks for reading the first sentence bud you got farther than the rest. good work bud thanks.

  • May 27, 2003, 4:02 a.m. CST

    Is Harry drunk? I started thinking he was joking but he didn't l

    by silentbobafett2

  • May 27, 2003, 4:46 a.m. CST

    Americans + Irony = Blank stares

    by Goatboy

    Ok, read slowly as try not to move your lips: Vern. Was. Joking. Irony is often a trait missed by Americans, and American Geeks are the worst. Nice review Vern my man, keep it up. Elvis Vs Mummy. Genius.

  • May 27, 2003, 6:13 a.m. CST

    1st review? Everything I've ever known about this film has been

    by TheGinger Twit

    It's got bruce campbell in a mental house where he thinks he's elvis and he fights a Mummy ... and I haven't even read the above post... now I will to see how wrong I am...... let me guess though - it's great right?

  • May 27, 2003, 6:44 a.m. CST

    animated bruce?

    by Devilman1369

    go watch disney's beauty & the beast and fukkin tell me that Gaston is not the animated Bruce campbell

  • May 27, 2003, 7:03 a.m. CST

    Vern was joking, but Harry's joke was a non sequitur

    by eraser_x

    Vern said that: (1) AICN already had reviewed the hell out of the movie, but (2) <wink> many people hadn't read those because they were waiting to read Vern's review. That's called a joke. Harry then attempted to joke that NO ONE at AICN had previously reviewed the movie. That is called a misguided and failed joke (because Vern's comment (1) completely removes any basis for Harry's joke, and makes Harry's so-called joke out-of-place and pointless). Of course, Harry sometimes changes his articles after talkbackers show his screwups; so by the time someone reads this post, Harry might have changed his joke already, and so the comments here may no longer apply.

  • May 27, 2003, 7:10 a.m. CST

    First Bubba Ho-Tep review?

    by SPY-der

    Is this some kind of time-warp trip? I've been reading about Bubba Ho-Tep on AICN for months! I saw it here in LA at the Egyptian back in February because I read about it here. Heck, I even sent in a review. Maybe it's just because it's 4am, here but this feels kind of surreal... how is this the first Bubba Ho-Tep review? A re-post of an earlier one? Maybe it's just me.

  • May 27, 2003, 7:21 a.m. CST

    ARMY OF DARKNESS is the worst of the EVIL DEAD series?? Are you

    by TheGinger Twit

    Army of Darkness was the absolute icing on the cake for Evil Dead. What did you want? Another cabin movie? Now that would have been shit. Now I have to take personal offence to this - Sam Raimi made Evil Dead 1 when he was in Film school. He did it with no money and a bunch of friends, which included Bruce Campbell and Jo Deluca the music composer. Raimi went on to raise some money to remake Evil Dead - originally called Dead by dawn, but renamed Evil Dead 2. It was never a sequel - it was a remake. It turned out the 'Empire strikes back' of the series. Raimi went on to make some bigger budget films, but lesser recieved (Darkman anyone?). He then made 'Army of Darkness' - the third of the Evil Deads, It was essentially Ramie with his college friends making a film with some real money in it - yet it was still a very cheap horror film. It was a big release film, distributed through Dino de delourentis - And for me and my Evil Dead loving friends - it was EVERYTHING Star Wars Episode 1 was antisipated to be when it was released! So NO MORE BASHING OF ARMY OR DARKNESS. Incidently, 'Spiderman' is forgiven for all of it's short comings, when you follow Raimi the way his fans have, ie ME

  • May 27, 2003, 7:28 a.m. CST

    Hope all you want, this movie will suffer the same fate as Stuar

    by Cash Bailey

    Straight-to-video oblivion. Meanwhile the remake of TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE will no doubt get 2000 screens.

  • May 27, 2003, 7:48 a.m. CST

    TipUrBartender...it was a joke, you retard. Now, mlukewarm...

    by Dog Of Mystery

    You dumb piece of shit. First you don't get the joke, then you btw, first post. You ignorant little cunt. Why don't you take that shit to MTV.com, where people will praise you for your idiotic behavior? What? You're fat, pimply, and have NEVER gotten laid? Well, that's the same as EVERYBODY over at your new home... Now get the fuck over there and start discussing how dreamy Avril Lavigne and Sum 41 are instead of polluting the talkbacks here, you fucking jerkoff. Fuck first posters. Fuck them up their stupid asses.

  • May 27, 2003, 8:13 a.m. CST

    bubba hotep

    by djtrauma

    "Whaddayamean, never heard of this movie? You can't stop talking about it! Harry, you knob, don't you read your own website"(talkbacker) You americans are truly impervious to irony, aren't you? I-R-O-N-Y! Being sarcastic isn't big or clever, but it's funny. Jeez louise...and you wonder why the world laughs at you lot...

  • May 27, 2003, 8:40 a.m. CST

    HI had to test it with my previous post and sadly it is true: AM

    by silentbobafett2

    This film willr ock and I want to see it like NOW!!!

  • May 27, 2003, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Sweet mother of God. Some of you guys amaze with your inability

    by Marty McSuperfly

    I thought I read this talkback on the off-chance that one or two of you geeks would write something like: "What is Harry talking about?!?! I read about this movie on AICN months ago!! Harry is a fat dick" (Or something to that effect). But God!!! How many people had that reaction?! How many completely missed the point?! How many didn't get the sarcasm (which I always thought was the lowest form of wit!)?! Come on guys! Please waken up! You are giving geeks a bad name by falling for this shit. It's a joke! Please, please don't be so keen to jump on the "Harry's a cock" insult bandwagon that you forget to put your brain on. He was JOKE-KING! Grrrrrr. Why does this annoy me so? I gotta go outside for a smoke! You kids! You'll be the death of me!

  • May 27, 2003, 8:59 a.m. CST

    WHY DOESN'T THIS FILM HAVE DISTRIBUTION??

    by Johnny Ahab

    Seriously, this film has played just about every top-drawer film festival that matters except for Sundance -- Toronto, SXSW, HBO's Aspen Comedy Fest, SIFF -- and still, no theatrical distribution. Even the packed screenings at the American Cinematique in L.A., right in Hollywood's backyard, and still, no sale. WTF??? Every report I hear tells of sold-out screenings (okay, it helps that Bruce is there at most of these to do his brilliant entertaining Q&A), and all the reviews have been stellar. WHAT MORE DO THESE ASSFUCK DISTRIBUTORS WANT??? This film OBVIOUSLY plays. Critics love it, fanboys and non-fanboys love it, why doesn't SOMEBODY platform it in NY & LA for a few weeks and watch the people turn out. Just get it on one screen in each city and LET IT SIT THERE FOR A MONTH!!! Word of mouth will catch on. Get Bruce there the first week. THERE IS A WAY TO MAKE THIS FILM WORK THEATRICALLY YOU STUPID ASSHATS!!! Harry, Mori, SOMEBODY please give us the inside scoop as to why this doesn't have distribution. You guys can call your moles at each of the studios and get the scoop, right? Why is Artisan distributing shit like "BOAT TRIP" and not this film??? Where are the micro-distribs like ThinkFilm and Magnolia -- why aren't they picking up theatrical at firesale prices (since all the other bigger fish seemed to have passed on this) and putting it at the Angelika and Sunset 5??? Or better yet, PLAY THIS MOVIE IN BIG COLLEGE TOWNS! Pick a dozen and watch this thing explode. I just don't get it! This thing has cash money written all over it! It has raves out the wazoo! Audiences going wacky for it! Please, guys, do a distribution expose on this film and let us know why those of us who aren't in a festival city haven't seen this on screens yet. I'm tired of my filmgoing choices consisting of overblown tentpole pics and shit like "DADDY DAYCARE". THIS FILM DESERVES THEATRICAL!!!!

  • May 27, 2003, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Sorry, I just can't let this go...

    by Johnny Ahab

    Idea, Harold. Why don't YOU pick up the theatrical for this and launch Aint It Cool Films? That would seem to be the next evolution for Aint It Cool. You have a media/marketing platform right here with this site. You have visibility and the press would pick up this story right away. You know Bruce and Don, and could get their support. You could break the stodgy theatrical mold and barnstorm the country with this film and whip up audiences (and again, college towns seem like the place to start). I'm sure there are thousands of folks like me who are DYING to see this film -- and who would gleefully drag their curious friends along. Okay, yes, it costs money to buy rights and make film prints and put ads in newspapers and you'd have to probably take out a loan to make this happen -- but I'm sure you could find an investor or two to back such a venture based on the traffic this site receives. And start out with 2-3 prints. Don't buy big ol' newspaper ads but just plain ol' listings. Let word of mouth and this site drive the folks into theaters. Am I nuts here, folks? Cuz I don't see a studio taking this thing out as it's already been on the festival circuit and the buyers ain't buying. Thoughts?

  • May 27, 2003, 10:24 a.m. CST

    Army Of Darkness is the best!!!

    by HeavyMetalCamaro

    I personally like Army the best. It has teh best one liners, ED2 is great, but I think the worst is the original. But I do agree the theractical release is much better than the directors cut.

  • May 27, 2003, 12:17 p.m. CST

    Bud Fox

    by TheGinger Twit

    You want a star wars review? hmmmmm. ok... the first star wars screenplay was actually called 'The Star Wars'. It had anikin and darth vador as seperate chatacers and was a very different story to the one we see now. Lucas shopped the script around but no one wanted it. It was a few re-writes later and some impressive artwork designs from his pre-ILM crew that got him a meesly 30m to make his film..... I could go on but you guys would rather bitch than hear Lucas's amazing rise. 5 star wars films - each more visually impressive and story constructing and all any of you can do is bitch!

  • May 27, 2003, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Ingagi38, you can hate Harry all you want but don't go dissin' T

    by TheFoywonder

    You mess with Guilala then you have to deal with me!

  • May 27, 2003, 2:15 p.m. CST

    BigBadClone, sorry, man...

    by Nordling

    you missed out. It came to Houston back in October, introduced by the Bruce-man himself. Pimpin' ain't easy, yo: http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=13514

  • May 27, 2003, 2:55 p.m. CST

    Fishy Kotex

    by WeedyMcSmokey

    Irony - when the intended meaning is opposite to that of the literal meaning. Harry - the is the first I've heard of the movie. Literal meaning - see the sentence. Intended meaning - this movie has ben reviewed to death for a year on this site - here's another review, virgins. Sarcasm is proboably more accurate as a discription - However, it is within the definition to call that ironic. Ebonic Plague - 'impervious to soap' - too funny.

  • May 27, 2003, 4:51 p.m. CST

    Gingertwit

    by Vern

    Thank you for taking up my challenge although you did it incorrectly, I clearly said in the review that you were supposed to agree with me. Actually, I am not Army of Darkness bashing at all because I like all three pictures but I am just stating the simple scientifically proven and carved into stone fact that it is not as good as the other two pictures in the series. The first is closer to a straight ahead horror picture and the third is straight up comedy but the second has the unusual ability to be both genuinely scary and funny. Army of Darkness starts out great with all his cocky oneliners and what not, and who doesn't enjoy some skeleton puppets fighting. But the problem is when it turns into the big skeleton war it's just a bunch of bang bang and no longer driven by the personality of Ash that carries the whole beginning and ending of the movie so you just lose the momentum. It's still good though. anyway thanks gingertwit.

  • May 27, 2003, 4:53 p.m. CST

    AICN has been reporting this film for months

    by Glass

    The reviewer was JOKING.

  • May 27, 2003, 5:01 p.m. CST

    Shut up djtrauma

    by Glass

    You're a fool. Americans don't understand irony? Let me tell you something, you don't understand reality. Not all Americans are stupid. Why do you goddam fools waste your time on American websites and on American culture if you think it's so stupid? Get a life, loser. Why don't you build something yourselves and THEN complain. Bitch.

  • May 27, 2003, 5:36 p.m. CST

    Star Wars budget

    by Mister Man

    By the way, Twit, the budget for the original "Star Wars" was $9-11 million....very high for its day. Consider that the disaster epic "Earthquake," which filmed a few years earlier, cost only $7 million. "The Towering Inferno" was $14 million.

  • May 27, 2003, 5:53 p.m. CST

    Is this all that you do all day?

    by SpencerForHire

    Seriously. How weak is this? We waste half our days griping about everyone else. More bitching than praise for this movie. Saw it at midnight madness at the TIFF way back. AoD it ain't but it's pretty damn funny. And what was with the no name talent jab? Brice is a legend in his own right and how they got Ozzie Davis to play JFK I never found out. Quit your griping. Find this movie, even if you have to travel halfway across the damn country! Khudos to the suggestion about placing it in college towns. If enough drunk co-eds see this film the studios have to notice. Keep away or I'll give you SARS, West Nile or Mad Cow. Go ahead. Take your pick! Pansies!!!

  • May 27, 2003, 5:59 p.m. CST

    Is this thing ever gonna make it to video?

    by Son Of Batboy

    Or do I have to drive to some theatre out in ButtFuck Missouri to see this gem? Been reading about this for so friggin' long. WTF is going on? Someone release it already!!! ARMY OF DARKNESS rules!!! With the billion DVDs out there this flick still has not had a definitive release. The closest I've seen is that SCI-FI channel airing that combines the best of both versions. Now get the fuck outta my face you bunch of primitives.

  • May 27, 2003, 6:04 p.m. CST

    points about bubba

    by justsomedude2

    two things 1st-do you think bubba will come out on dvd? or better, where can i still catch it in theaters 2nd-let's not forget about bruce as smitty in hudsucker proxy!

  • May 27, 2003, 7:16 p.m. CST

    Re: ManFrmUncleFucka

    by RedneckLovin

    Wow, you're insulting someone for commenting on a movie. I bet you're a real hit with the ladies, huh? Dork.

  • May 27, 2003, 9:44 p.m. CST

    Bruce

    by JohnnyBarrett

    I don't understand this. Bruce Campbell is the movie geek's Tom Cruise and yet nobody wants to give him a chance. Studio heads need to pull their heads out of their asses and give Bruce some screen-time. That said, I'm psyched for Bubba Ho-Tep.

  • May 27, 2003, 11:20 p.m. CST

    Bruce

    by Kutulhu

    People will like anything, for good or bad. Look at George Lucas. He only made two good films over 25 years ago and yet, people can't wait to see the next shit stain of a film he puts out. That's just the nature of man. I like Bruce Campbell. Sure he puts out alot of crappy movies, but every once and while a great one comes along. He did RUNNING TIME in 1997 which actually pretty good. He has also done some pretty good voice acting for video games. He also wrote a very funny and informative book. Alot might have to do with his personality. I saw him at a book signing and he was great. He talked to every person who was there, gave out candy and stayed until everyone got everything they wanted signed (it took me 2 hours in line and I was in the last row of seat, there were still hundreds standing around, he was there until the wee hours) He just seemed like a nice guy. Even the retarded kid can get a single once and a while.

  • May 28, 2003, 12:18 a.m. CST

    THE MOVIE DOESN'T HAVE THEATRICAL DISTRIBUTION BECAUSE IT SUCKS

    by ChicYoung

    Sorry fellas, but quit flogging this dead horse already. Just get it onto video. Sure Campbell does his first real acting turn as Elvis and Coscarelli is a stylish director, but there's just too many, male-oriented dick lubricating scenes to appeal to a wide audience, coupled to so many its-so-bad-its-so-good-kitsch B-blah scenes AND the ending is blown by having 2 endings, both pretty much the same. There is just so much of this monster-zombie dreck around on TV these days. Give it a rest. Its not going into the theatres because it sucks. Coscarelli has a lot of promise. Start directing movies already and hang this baby on the wall where it rightfully belongs ...

  • May 28, 2003, 1:27 a.m. CST

    "Still I wouldn't be surprised if years down the line we get a h

    by Pulzar711

    That makes my brain hurt. In a good way.

  • May 28, 2003, 10:17 a.m. CST

    FISHY! Respect where respect is due

    by silentbobafett2

    I got caught up in the moment, correct it is not irony but sarcasm. I hate American bashing, Americans are cool its your goverment (like most goverments) that sucks balls. You society is full of idiots just like any other. But what causes most of this American bashing at the mo is Bush. Oh, I can't remember was there any Nuclear Bombs? Illegal Misiles? Chemical Weapons? Or attacks on other nations? Nope, iraq didn't do none of that. Sadam, evil bastard; Iraq however is now a country in turmoil, destruction and total dissaray. I liek the way the Americans have placed police over there and turned down U.N help. Is this America: The Sequel. Thats quite scarily true with Bush and all those other hacks in the white house. But us eurotrash guys can't complain we have enough dicks over here in Burberry hats to deal with! Fairs fair.........

  • May 28, 2003, 11:33 a.m. CST

    But Vern!!

    by pmorano

    I get the feeling you weren't drunk this time. I'm kinda disappointed...good review though, as usual! Make Vern a regular!

  • May 28, 2003, 5:04 p.m. CST

    I want to thank RedneckLovin for Showing me Irony

    by supercollider

    All these eurotrash polesmokers kept confusing my small american brain about irony. I mean, Vern's densly layered allegorical review hid the irony so well it could only be found out by the highly advanced european senses inherent in all eurotrash polesmokers. But thanks to RedneckLovin i can see the light! Thank you snooty european pussies! Thank you RedneckLovin! God Bless America and Bruce Campbell!

  • May 28, 2003, 8:47 p.m. CST

    First review?

    by UCFKevin

    Is this really the first review? Shit, I woulda sent in my review when I saw it a few months back. It's a pretty good movie. I saw it at like two in the morning at a local independent theater here in Orlando/Winter Park (the Enzian) so I was pretty tired, but still enjoyed it. It wasn't a hysterical, fall on the floor laughing movie, but it definitely had some pretty great moments. Bruce is awesome in it, he definitely plays to his audience and plays it very well. The little karate poses he does are fantastic. The best thing about this movie, however, is the music. It has a GREAT score, obviously with an Elvis movie, it would be done with a guitar. I guess the best way to describe it is it's kinda like John Travola's theme in Broken Arrow, that sorta sound. The special effects were dodgy, but who cares when it's this sorta movie? The scarab scene is probably the funniest one in the movie, I'd say. Bummer not many people got to see this flick. It's sure to be a cult classic whenever it gets a release somehow.