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Trent rings in about AMERICAN WEDDING!
Hey folks, Harry here... Somehow I find that it is 5 in the morning Wednesday and I don't seem to remember Thursday... I seem to have a fuzzy memory of shutting my eyes yesterday afternoon... and, well missed BRUCE ALMIGHTY and now I'm updating. Well, I don't know about you, but I'm about as thrilled about the concept of a third AMERICAN PIE flick as you would about getting a tooth pulled. I suppose it needs to come out, if only to stop the pain. Here's Trent, beware of spoilers....
hi harry. trent reporting in from san diego tonight with what I hope is a better representation of the people in our city than last night’s incomprehensible reviewer. funny thing is I was at that screening as well (the hostess lady stated the film’s name was “Rundown”), thought of writing you but after wasting 2 hours of my life that I’ll never get back, thought against it. i guess there is at least 6 degrees of separation in life because tonight I got to see “American Wedding,” the third (and hopefully last) film of the American Pie series. seann william scott last night and seann william scott tonight. And to top it off, I turn on MTV when I got home in time to see the new ads their running for the movie awards, co-hosted by none other than seann william scott. anybody seen rod serling standing around?
“American Wedding” has all the original cast back, except tara reid, chris klein, mena suvari and natasha lyonne. And the funny thing is, they’re not even mentioned except for the guys wishing oz could be at the wedding. that was a little weird. this one has Jim and Michelle getting married and as with the 2 others, opens up to a very funny proposal by Jim to Michelle. The scene takes place at a posh restaurant where we come to find out Jim is about to pop the question. One uncomfortable thing leads to another and we find Michelle under the table servicing Jim when all of a sudden, yep, Jim’s dad walks up to the table to deliver the forgotten engagement ring. Funny conversation ensues and the scene ends with Jim proposing to Michelle in front of everybody in the place, pants down to his knees and hard-on busting out of his boxers. Raise title, up music. American Wedding.
in a nutshell, we follow the gang as jim and michelle get ready for their wedding as only the writer of the first two can tell it. Jim fumbles many things during the film and everybody comes through to help him out. Stifler causes havoc, but ends up redeeming himself somehow. Throw in some air-born pubic hair, over-excited dogs, a chocolate syrup-covered Finch and a ducktaped and gagged Kevin and you have yourself the same formula all the others do: seeing how far we can push the surprise gross gags and scenes, but it all coming down to the important things in life like friendship. and like all the others, stifler steals it. The funniest scenes of the film are him and even though he was a bit over the top in most of them, I found myself laughing out loud like I did in the other two. Some of those scenes include Stifler dancing at a gay bar, Stifler wearing a preppy Izod shirt and sweater tied around his neck and Stifler eating, well, I’ll save that for you to experience. Jim’s dad is also back with his unneeded advice such as (when explaining keeping the passion alive in marriage), “You don’t have to be kinky to keep the romance alive. She doesn’t have to be the dog and you the hydrant in the bedroom.” Finch is here too, competing with Stifler for Michelle’s younger and “prudent” sister, but not forgetting his first love, Stifler’s mom. Oh and by the way, I almost forgot; Nikki Ziering is in this one. Yea, that nikki and her 2 “friends.” Stifler throws a bachelor party and she shows up as the dominatrix cop. NICE. Gratuitous American Pie boobage.
You know what? Not to steal one of Jack Daniel’s quotes from last night’s review, but “American Wedding” is dumb fun. Light-hearted and well-written. We’ve seen these characters grow, shared embarrassing things in common and walked away with a smile on our faces. This one is no different. But I do hope this is it. If it is, it’s a good way to go out. And in no better way than Stifler making out with Jim’s grandma on the dance floor…
Trent out.
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Sounds good. Can't wait for an Aussie wedding.
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Thanks a lot dick. You know real critics actually say what they THOUGHT about a movie. Not what all the funny bits were just to prove that they saw it before everybody else. But it doesn't matter. Somehow the trailers for this movie will ruin all the best gags anyway. It's the main reason I didn't see the second movie. I felt completely ripped off after I saw the first movie because I already knew all the funny bits. I could give two shits about the rest of the movie. I already knew he fucked the pie. Blah.
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May 21, 2003 7:36:56 AM CDT
I wish I could forget yesterday, went to buy some smoke and ende
by corporateplant
Run our of my stash, all my usual sources are out of town, figure I'll enjoy the thrill of a street purchase in Toronto. Find someone, take an extended walk, tell him I want 20 worth of "smoke" then things turn odd as this shrivelled old Heroin dude hooks up with us, we end up in a back alley and he produces what I think is one of his rotten tooths. What the hell is that? I ask, then he turns his one good eye at me and asks the other younger guy if he knows me, Not like I care, I mean, a stiff wind would blow this greaser over but suddenly I realize that A I am out 20 bucks, or B I now how to go all Trainspotting. Needless to say, the rock ended up in the gutter and I went home all dispondant and sad, looking at the rain. Thank god their legalizing it here.
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Sounds like exactly what the public wants. Apart from the mysterious absence of all those with careers from the first two.
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Yonge and Dundas? Up by the ol' Evergreen youth shelter? Yes, I've made that walk before myself. But in the words of Vincent Vega "It's legal, but it ain't 100% legal". Frankly I like it being illegal, because then you could always count on lazy cops who didn't want to file your paperwork - now they can just wip off a quick ticket. Here's to clean livin'.
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She was the only thing I liked about the second one and it looks like she's going to have to carry this tripe as well. Fortunately, she has the chops for it. Sexy and funny, she's the closest thing to Carole Lombard we have in these benighted times. Now that Buffy is over, I fully expect her to go on to bigger things.
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May 21, 2003 3:15:05 PM CDT
Stiffler is the sexiest tomboy bean pole on the planet...
by schmiggy jk
that being said, ill go see this, and yes, i prefer chicks over guys. Doesnt seem like a bad flick, something to pass the time, etc, and have a few chuckles.
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Hi, Notch here. This review is a plant. There's some things not right here. First off, this person can spell "incomprehensible", "Nikki Ziering" and "dominatrix" and "Gratuitous" correctly, but makes obvious errors in "air-born", "ducktaped". Another good sign at first was the lack of CAPITALIZATION. Good move, but then the technique got sloppy (or *correct*) by spelling Izod with capital, then American Wedding, then Kevin, then other words. Based on my evidence, it is my opinion that somebody here has probably four or five years of PR writing under their belt, and tried to smear their own good writing with "dumb moron fanboy" grammar, but the tampering does not quite do the trick. Too often, this person's good skills and grammar reveal themselves. Kind of like O.J. Simpson, and how the darn fool could explain away the cell phone use....he used it, he did not, he lived in a mansion with probably 10 phones, but came all the way downstairs and OUT INTO THE STREET to get his car cellphone and make a call. Notch out. (Memo to plant: How close did I peg your PR experience?)
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i don't live in the US and didn't the follow the OJ thing so closely. so tell me, why was the phone call so pivotal? why did he make the call? why wouldn't he use the phone in his house?
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I walked right into the opener! Aaaargh!
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Wow, that was cool. I feel like I just watched CSI. I guess I always assume that the reviews are legit. Now I'm curious how much PR experience this person has. If it's true I hope he'll come back here and post. Thanks Notch!
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I think the only way Id buy a ticket to see this one is if Alyson Hannigan showed some boobage. She is sooooo cute.
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For JackBurtonLives. The OJ cellphone call he made the night of the Nicole-Ron murders was not disputed. The records show that OJ tried to dial from his cellphone and connected several times during the evening. The problem was OJ admitted going out to retrieve the phone later on....which means that at the time those calls were made, he was in his Bronco. Thus, he was not chipping golf balls in his yard, or "oversleeping," or taking a shower. What happened was en route to Bundy, he tried to call Paula...rejected...rejected...rejected...then somehow, whether he planned to or not, he killed Nicole and Ron, and came back home (and in Three Stooges fashion, falling over his own fence and crashing right into Kato's back wall, of all places). We can assume O.J.'s mansion had phones everywhere, in every room, in the living room, kitchen, dens, etc. So why would this man need to walk all the way down his long driveway, sit in his car and make a call, then walk all the way back into his home? Why not just walk 5 or 10 feet to the nearest house phone? (Ask a pro-O.J. imbecile this question......when you call for a pizza delivery, do you A) go to the nearest phone in your home and call Pizza Hut or B) walk down the street to the nearest pay phone and make the call to Pizza Hut. The pro-O.J. imbecile will try to find a reason why you should waste 15 minutes and 50 cents instead of just reaching over your couch and picking up your phone). Notch out.
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I saw a documentary once that put a pretty convincing case forward that OJ was innocent, but he was covering for his son, who apparently has a history of violence and a piss weak/implausable alibi. Can't pretend to be an expert, or even to remeber any more evidence than that, but it was *fairly* convincing at the time. *****On topic, I think I'll wait for the DVD.
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Hi, Earthworm....the theory about O.J. protecting a murderous son is less believable than a boy named Clark Kent having Superman-like powers. Without breaking a sweat, why O.J.'s son is ruled out. 1) DNA results say odds are 1 in over 5 billion that anyone other than O.J. has that DNA....that includes his son. Certain marker traits we share with offspring, but every single person's DNA is unique to him or her only 2) No person other than O.J. can account for the time period when he butchered his victims...oops, I meant the time of the killings 3) Ever see the close up photos of his hands right after June 12, 1994? They looked 10 times worse than the "paper cuts" skit on Jackass. There were slits, scrapes, and light cuts all over the place. 4) Gun, passport, $10,000 in cash, disguise. Alone, not much; combined with the ton of evidence, adds to the weight of his guilt. 5) Playing Satan's advocate and assuming Fuhrman planted the glove (he did not, but let's assume he did), even if it was planted, it had O.J.'s blood and the victims' blood. So, again, being Satan's advocate, if Fuhrman is guilty of trying to frame O.J., he deserves criticism...because he was foolish enough to waste such trickery on a man who was already guilty as hell. 6) Bruno Magli shoes, only about 200 pairs of that brand made, 31 photos authenticated by one of the nation's leading FBI experts showing O.J. Simpson wearing those shoes prior to the murders. 7) A huge cut on his middle finger that O.J. cannot explain, even though when questioned, it was less than one day old (I have a scar on my right hand from a cut, and can still remember to this day how it got there). 8) Jason Simpson loved Nicole, she stuck up for him when O.J. was putting him down for not being as Great as he was. I have just touched the tip of the iceberg for the reasons why O.J. did it, these ones just put away the "Jason question" Notch out.
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i remember seeing an ESQUIRE interview with the juice and he stated, "Well, if I killed her, it was because i loved her. so what's the big deal?" hmmm... the jury system obviously has some flaws.
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May 22, 2003 10:14:49 PM CDT
I've come to realize that every person who likes a movie in spit
by ribbons
After all, *we* never do that, right? At least, we'd never admit to it.
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Well, that settles that then. I'll bow to you on this. Like I said I couldn't claim to be in possesion of all (any?) of the facts, I just like to throw that one in whenever the subject is raised, kinda like a fresh slant to the argument. But, FWIW I'd prefer OJ got off if there was evidence tampering, cos it might stop some poor, innocent, non multimillionaire getting fitted up by the same bunch. We're not exactly blamelss on that regard in the UK after all. There was a time when it was dangerous to be an Irishman in this country.
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