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Trebster's 1st Cannes Report! A new Hannibal Lecter Film! And... oh goody... News about that Van Damme actor!
Hey folks, Harry here... Well it's Wednesday, May 14th, 2003... Know what that means? That's right, slap on that lotion and munch on that tub of caviar, it's time for CANNES! This is that exciting time of the year where we get jazzed for summer movies, and in the land of fine taste and thoughts... we get the word on the greatest films we're yet to know about. That's right CANNES. If you're in Cannes and you're seeing movies, I want to hear about them all. I don't care what language they are or from what country, this is it, this is where we get the drop on it all. If you're a film loving geek in Cannes, you're the luckiest folks around... keep your eyes and ears open and get to a keyboard. Meanwhile, the Trebster has sent in his first report on the first day of Cannes and it's a doozy of a news release... The next Hannibal film details and ... Everything you wanted to know about Moriarty's favorite actor... Jean Claude Van Damme! Here ya go...
Trebster's Cannes Report;
Okay, first up, these dodgy French keyboards are
driving me nuts people. Numbers, letters and symbols
in the wrong damn places. I guess you can forgive
those froggies as their chicks are so danm hot!
Dino De Laurentiis and Jean Claude Van Damme flew into
Nice yesterday, though Im pretty sure not together.
Dino is here to promote the mega £150m Alexander The
Great picture and also unearthed was his OTHER
Hannibal Lecter movie thats in the works.
Its already being penned author, Thomas Harris and is
presently titled: The Lecter Variation. Centering
around the young Hannibal Lecter, following his child
hood in his native land, Lithuania, traveling through
Paris in his teenage years and then ending up in the
States to munch more.
Dino is seeking out four different actors to play the
serial killer, fro, age 12, 16, 20 and 25.
It is said that Lecter fled his rich family, killing
his parents and having a close relationship zith his
sister. 2005 is the expected release.
So, Van Damme.. The once promising star of yesteryear.
I'm a sucker for his movies. I dunno why, I just like
them, no matter how bad they are. Okay, I think Hard
Target, BloodSport, Universal Soldier and Time Cop are
actually okay flicks, bu the rest leaves me wanting
more beer. Hes just signed a 3 picture deal with
Bauer Martinez Studios. The first is Cover Play, a
more than Die Hard influenced Casino/Terrorist flick
that sees The Muscles From Brussels as a security
guard in the wrong place at the wrong time. Thats
called Cover Play. The second is After Death and is
helmed by Damme favorite Ringo Lam.
I've just seen two cool Terminator statues being
built, all set for a conference on Saturday where the
Kings Of Cannes return. Mario Kassar and Abdy Vajna
are back to claim the red carpet from the Weinsteins.
Different styles, both heavy weight champs. In The C2
Pictures corner, Arnold Schwarzenegger. In the Miramax
Corner, er.. Everybody else I think.
Treb
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+ Expand All
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Please, let the bloated beast die.
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...that'd be sweet.
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More Will (Peterson) Graham, that I'd see. And hasn't VD already done at least one piss poor Die Hard knock off? Something about an Ice Hockey rink. Whatever, I prefer Seagal.
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More Will (Peterson) Graham, that I'd see. And hasn't VD already done at least one piss poor Die Hard knock off? Something about an Ice Hockey rink. Whatever, I prefer Seagal.
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May 14, 2003 8:54:56 AM CDT
maybe they'll go back to the best bit of HANNIBAL that they didn
by cash bailey
And that was the flashback to Hannibal's sister being eaten by starving soldiers during WW2. That was the only good part of that wretched book. And keep Brett Ratner the fuck away from it.
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That he tried to do what Arnie did, only after Arnie had already done it. What Van Damme needed to do was to stop trying to be the lead in EVERY movie, get into a few GOOD big time movies with other name actors, perhaps like Pulp Fiction style for John Travolta. Do your specialty, in this case 'arse kicking Martial Arts', but in a GOOD movie. Van DAMME went down hill with one after another mindless martial arts movies where he spends half the film training to be a badass, has a couple of fights and then has a showdown with the main baddie and gets flogged to within an inch of his life. At this point something will happen to make him REALLY mad and then he smashes the baddie in 2 seconds flat. How many times can this work honestly? Lets see, Bloodsport, Kickboxer, Lionheart, Hard Target, Legionaire, Double Impact and thats all I can think of off the top of my head!!! There's many more like that. Van Damme to get back on top, 1. Lay off the coke. 2. Get back into good shape. 3. Start up with the mindless Martial Arts, stop trying to act. Use your former credibility to get niche roles in GOOD films. I sure VD could have got a part in Kill Bill if he wanted? Maybe if this is done VD will rise again? Cheers.
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Anyway, Lecter is dull and has always been an overrated character. No need for another film, no need for four actors in any case, and definitely no need for a close relationship with his sister. Ugh.
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But he is suffering a bit from over-exposure. He worked well in Manhunter and Red Dragon because he was somebody incidental to the whole catch-a-killer schtick, being an interesting evil genius with his own odd agenda. However, movies that centre around him probably wouldn't work as well. Not that Dino gives much of a shit, as I believe he owns all rights to filmic Lecter. In any case, Cash Bailey is right about the bit where his sister gets eaten being the horrid highlight of "Hannibal". Though Lecter does look like someone that would have an affair with his own sister. As far as Van Damme is concerned, in some of his later films, it looks like someone in his line of ancestry did have an affair with their own sister.
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What a madcap report -- interesting as hell but kind of sad, alarming and funny all at once. VanDamme is a living punchline and looks 20 years older than he really is (thank you drugs). Save for Hard Target with Mr. Woo, what has he ever done. What was the budget for Cyborg, $20 ? Ringo don't slum with Jean-hyphen, you're better than that!
Re: Hannibal -- By removing my fave knight from the role, it's the last vestige of anything remotely interesting with the character. And now 4 kids -- prob. of Dawson's Creek fame --get to help keep this tired and overrated character on life support. Give it up. -
"The Silence of the Lambs" is the most overrated film of the '90s (narrowly edging out "Pulp Fiction"). As a B horror flick, it's okay. But no element of the film, be it acting, writing or directing, EVER for a moment rises above that level. It's best picture Oscar should be seen as one of the Academy's big embarrasments.
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May 14, 2003 10:50:44 AM CDT
Jesus fucking CHRIST! How many more of these steaming piles of d
by largojr
I mean.. CHRIST!! Hopkins is, was, and always shall be a shitty actor who managed to sqirt out one half decent performance for 'Lambs'. Everything else has totally sucked Donkey balls.. AND YOU ALL KNOW IT!!
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Red Dragon was a farce, a money making scheme. Manhunter was a far superior film, and made better work of the original story given its many flaws. This new movie has the potential to be very interesting.
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I disagree. Silence of the Lambs ruled and was one of the few occasions the academy got it right. Lecter was compelling in the first flush of his novelty, the performances were rivetting, the movie did a fantastic job of getting across some very gory ideas through the previously fashionable but then lately ignored "power of suggestion" and Lecter's escape sequence was really well done. It was a really different, interesting movie and utterly revitalised its whole genre. Yeah, a lot of it may seem cliched now because it's been copied so relentlessly that it's become a formula for many movies, thus making it easy to forget that it is actually the template. This movie hit me like a smack in the jaw when it first came out and when I saw it again recently, I found it had aged really well. It's not over-rated.
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"I ate his pancreas with some baked beans and a can of coke"
"i can smell the stale sweat of your gym socks and cheap talc."
RUBBISH.!! -
May 14, 2003 11:32:49 AM CDT
Will Hannibal be fighting Mr.T or Dolph Lundgren in the next fil
by nice marmot
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oh please will he be getting his arse out again, its so great when he does that shit. and the splits, and a high kick in the nude on a kitchen worktop in the jungle. bootiful. the ladies love it. no wait. Seagull and Van Damme as two pairs of identical twins seperated at birth, working as chefs and the mafia, big boss bett midler-style punchline filled kung-fu-fest.
"i think i burnt the carrots" KABOOOM -
I thought it was far superior to that TV movie of the week, "Manhunter". And Norton was much better than that Don Johnson wannabe Peterson.
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May 14, 2003 1:44:21 PM CDT
Maybe they shoul make "Time Cop 2" with HUlk Hogan as the baddie
by mbaker
YOUR OUTTA TIME, BROTHER!!
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As if the Cannes film festival were relevant. Unless you are french and you like those bad arthouse movies.
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Why don't I believe this? Perhaps because I don't want to. I'd far, far rather Harris wrote a sequel (as novel only) to "Hannibal" telling us what the good doctor was up to with his new girlfriend, Clarice Starling. I certainly don't want to see a period movie with (doubtless) someone like Jude Law playing the young Lecter. And lemme guess, they'd probably have some evil, Jew-massacring Nazi to serve as the bad guy (like Buffalo Bill and Mason Verger), so that Hannibal could come off looking cooler and more heroic, and kill him in the end. Were they to make another Lecter movie, I wouldn't want to see anyone but Hopkins play the character (talk to the hand, Manhunter/Cox "purists", because the face ain't listening).
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And to think I used to respect Harris as a writer of immense talent and discretion. Now just a hack chasing the studio dollar emissions. I realize the guy needs to eat and pay rent but dosen't he have enough squirreled away from his previous best sellers so that he doesn't have to stoop to "Freddy Kruger vs Hannibal Lecter?" Christ on a crutch!
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May 14, 2003 2:27:01 PM CDT
Don't forget that Cyborg was the panned sequel to masters of the
by declan_swartz
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May 14, 2003 2:28:40 PM CDT
Damn, I meant planned sequel to Masters of the Universe.
by declan_swartz
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Van Damme became a b-list star because in the late 80's martial arts movies were just starting to gain popularity after a an out of fashion drout. He never really had the charisma to carry his career into his 40's. He was a good looking guy who could do very athletic and spectacular kicks but his actual fighting skills were pedestrian. Van D never shed that accent and that's part of why he never made it big. He was also very narcissistic and seemed to think his fans wanted to admire him for his muscles(butt)rather than fighting skills. Hannibal is just crap. disturbing, repulsive "entertainment". People who like these movies have issues. Let Hannibal end. It's not worth anyone's time or money to celebrate serial killers.
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May 14, 2003 2:35:53 PM CDT
French Tomboy Beanpoles Are The Sexiest Tomboy Beanpoles On The
by stormin
I think even we can all agree on that.
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Why don't I believe this? Perhaps because I don't want to. I'd far, far rather Harris wrote a sequel (as novel only) to "Hannibal" telling us what the good doctor was up to with his new girlfriend, Clarice Starling. I certainly don't want to see a period movie with (doubtless) someone like Jude Law playing the young Lecter. And lemme guess, they'd probably have some evil, Jew-massacring Nazi to serve as the bad guy (like Buffalo Bill and Mason Verger), so that Hannibal could come off looking cooler and more heroic, and kill him in the end. Were they to make another Lecter movie, I wouldn't want to see anyone but Hopkins play the character (talk to the hand, Manhunter/Cox "purists", because the face ain't listening).
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Why don't I believe this? Perhaps because I don't want to. I'd far, far rather Harris wrote a sequel (as novel only) to "Hannibal" telling us what the good doctor was up to with his new girlfriend, Clarice Starling. I certainly don't want to see a period movie with (doubtless) someone like Jude Law playing the young Lecter. And lemme guess, they'd probably have some evil, Jew-massacring Nazi to serve as the bad guy (like Buffalo Bill and Mason Verger), so that Hannibal could come off looking cooler and more heroic, and kill him in the end. Were they to make another Lecter movie, I wouldn't want to see anyone but Hopkins play the character (talk to the hand, Manhunter/Cox "purists", because the face ain't listening).
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it takes more than a few muscles to make a man attractive . . . Van Damme has that unfortunate low country (Dutch, Belgians) tendency towards a pink skintone. That and his facial structure make him look like a poncey little boy, which no amount of muscles can overcome.
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Yes, that does sound so horrible, kind of like what fucking geeks still getting their nutrients from their mommy's teats would be interested in a movie about a young Darth Vader for example?!!? Yeah, a project like that has no interest. Face it fags, Red Dragon rocked! Ralph Fiennes physique looked good to me, I just wish we'd gotten a better look at his dong! Word has it that Ratner had to digitally alter it because it was so big! I wish he'd just left it alone to swing in all its glory.
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Largo: I agree with you that some of Hopkins films are way overrated but Hopkins himself is a great actor. If in doubt check out his performance as Bruno Hauptmann in "The Lindberg Kidnapping Case," or his work in "The Remains of the Day" and "84 Charing Cross Rd." You might rethink your opinon of him as an actor.
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I've read all the books and they were better than the movies in all cases. I did enjoy Red DRagon but Dolarhyde's childhood was an integral part of it. It had to really show that this guy didn't want to or realize he was bad, he was just reduced to it from his horrible upbringing. The scene with his grandmother and the scissors and the children teaching his name was "Cunt Face" and his foster siblings bashing his face into the mirror were all great part and it really made you feel sorry for him. They should have been in the movie.****I was a bit confused by this report. Is Harris writing the novel, then it is becoming a movie? Or is Harris just writing the script for the movie? A sequel to Hannibal probably wouldn't work, he wanted to end it there, it even states it in the final sentences of the book that the two of them should be "left alone". More stuff with Will Graham though would have been interesting. We will see how this turns out.
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May 14, 2003 5:33:43 PM CDT
Hannibal Lector is the sexiest tomboy beanpole creepy cannibal o
by jtp972
Michael Rosenbaum could play Lector. And Tom Welling could play young Will Graham. Ah wait...that's another prequel!! Oops!
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that movie where VD played twins? double impact I think it was, anyway, the saddest thing about that movie is that he was the best actor in it!
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fucking hope so!
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Look Red Dragon was friggin awesome and one of the best sequels of our time. Honestly this movie was close to flawless. In my opinion this thing was SNUBBED at the oscar's and that's there biggest embarrassment to date. Moving on how can I condemn this sequel after the last one was so beyond what I expected? However I have two suggestions... One, use hopkins and talk about hannibal when he started killing his victims like mason verger instead of all the CHILD lector stuff, i mean you may as well just call it "Ankle Biters" or use my idea for a sequel and have Clarice now in an asylum for the brain eating incident, the remains of lecter have been found (The hand) in an overturned van and everyone thinks she is mad. THEN hannibal comes and starts visiting her... reversal of roles? Maybe he wants information on the Nazis who killed his parents that only Clarice has... he could even help her escape... Hannibal: So clarice, are you on your period cycle? I can smell you from here.
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What do you want to bet that at some point in the movie, when he's in his 20's, he'll run into a little girl named Clarice for a few seconds. This is the definition of going to the well once to often.
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Well, not really cuz they're in a movie...bastards. But it kind of sucks that they're taking a part that already has so much baggage attached to it. I mean, you could obviously do some interesting things with the role of an unformed Hannibal Lecter, but there's gonna be an enormous amount of pressure on them to set the course towards the same place (Hopkins's Hannibal) that it's probably going to inform a lot of their decisions as actors. Also, there's less room to make the role your own the older the guy gets, so...good look to the 25-year old dude who goes to America for some chow. I personally think they're flogging a dead horse...maybe milking a dry cow would be a better expression in this case. Not dry in commercial viability, mind you, just necessity.
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On the new dvd it says that hannibals parents were cannibalized. There was an interview with John Douglas who used to be the head of the serial killer task for at Quantico Virginia. I've read all his books and I find his research on serial killers to be very fascinating. I guess that's neither here nor there but he did comment that if lectors parents were never killed and eaten then he wouldn't have the disposition to do the same when he matured. Blah blah, just some more fodder for all verbal time killing on this page.
Sail Hatan
SE7EN-X.com -
Young Hannibal? Not a chance. Even Dino di Horrendous isn't THAT stupid.
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May 15, 2003 1:39:41 AM CDT
Chuck Zito should be the villain in Van Damme's flick...
by boris the blade
...oh wait...that would mean that Jean-boy would have to kick Chuck's ass....HAH!
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has gotten his ass handed to him more times than anybody could be bothered to mention. It's all hype to build his rep as a bodyguard, nothing more. Is he tough? hell yeah. Are all the stories you hear about him true? fuck no.
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Never, if there is a reason to like JCVD its that he never took himself very seriously as an artist. Sure he talked about directing (ACK the quest) but he has worked with a number of talented directors. Drugs really wrecked his life, his fault completely, but I am willing to bet if he had taken to 3 picture deal offered to him after Universal Soldier he would be a big star today. Segal was a douche bag from day one, he made a couple of cool flicks, but then went full on karate hippie, then tried to go fat karate hippie. God knows why Joel Silver has a hard on for Segal.
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yeah!
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..then he can whisper, "I eat dead people."
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That is one thing I hate about serial killer profilers. After studying the (relatively) small amount of serial killers in our history, let alone the ridiculously small amount of sociopath cannibals, they believe they know what makes someone do the things they do. Having your parents kileed and eaten IS NOT the only thing that could make a person want to become a cannibal.
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Hey, he should play twins again. Even better, how about Morgan Freeman playing Nelson Mendela AND Kofi Annan in a new action folm. Kofi comes to Nelson's place, and says "I see you still got that Spenser rifle there", and they team up, Double Impact style to defeat world terrorism.
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Lecter's sister's name is Mischa you fucking idiot, not "zith" or whatever the fuck. And his entire family, parents and sister included, wher killed and consumed by drifters, not by Lecter himself. That whole things a bogus story. check som of these things out next time, asshole.
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You asked about the "stupid deck of cards"
The military has used card decks with information on them as a memorization tool for a long time. Often they have pictures of enemy aircraft or other hardware such as tanks. Soldiers have a lot of downtime and wind up playing a lot of cards as a result. The frequent repetition helps soldiers know what they are shooting at. On the battlefield you have to know whether you are shooting at a friendly or a foe in a split second.
Please be careful about using
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