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That darling man Orlando Bloom has some special Quicktime PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN action for you!
Hey folks, Harry here... We overgrown boys have our flicks... Right now, look at that banner on the front page... The women that read this site have to suffer the debasing tits and ass exploitation of that so-called "reality" film spot that turns women into dripping headless bikini clad beach bimbos craving men... But what do they get in return? Frankly, not much... They don't really want WHAT A GIRL WANTS, that film is complete and total shit. Also, they have no interest in crap like that Olsen Twin movie... They do want Orlando Bloom though... Many also want Johnny Depp in mascara... at least, that's what a couple of femmes have said to me, so why the hell not. Here's a link to a special Orlando Bloom introducing trailer spot.... ENJOY LADIES! Oh, and here's a pic for y'all too!
Ok girls... dim the lights.... put flame to candle... get comfortable... now don't play, just click!
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As a lady who HATES that T&A banner ad, I say thank you. Sweet dreams for me tonight! Heh.
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Does this movie have a zombie monkey? I could have sworn I saw a zombie monkey in that trailer... DEAD ALIVE memories... g-g-g-g-g-g-u-nit!
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After the hype for X-men 2 and Matrix Reloaded falls away it may get a bit more recognition.
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Orlando Bloom better stop using Justin Timberlake's hair dresser.
Unless the pirate ship hits a freakin' iceberg and sinks, woman ain't gonna be lining up for this sh*t. If I wanna watch skeletons fencing, I'll watch Sinbad. Hell, Wynona wouldn't even shoplift this DVD when it comes out. -
X2, Master & Commander, Reloaded, ROTK, have the chance of been the best movie of the year. Pirates will be a fun, swashbuckeler; plain and simple.
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First time I saw the trailer totally took me by surprise, never would have guessed the movie actually would possibly turn out decent!
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Apr 18, 2003 4:51:32 AM CDT
"Orlando Bloom is the sexiest tomboy beanpoll on the planet!" -B
by kampbell-kid
Film looks kinda cool. Let's hope it's not like that big budget bomb of a pirate movie (with the trailer ad "from the director of Cliffhanger") with Gena Davis that sucked my will to live. Can't remember the name? This film tho looks like another film that shows Johnny D's range. He looks hilarious in this movie, his accent cracks me up.
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Apr 18, 2003 5:15:24 AM CDT
But MOST of all, the ladies of the site have to suffer through H
by empyreal0
Time to take that thing down, Harry. It's fucking disgusting. You're making the guys sick, and I don't expect you're impressing too many of the ladies either.
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But this movie looks somewhat good. Whoda thunk it? Animatronic theme park ride...
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What is the fascination with this guy??I mean he's great in LOTR and i'm sure this will be a pretty good movie...but he definately isn't the gorgeous guy makes him out to be...esp the LOTR Legolas fangirls.Oh well just thought i would ask...hmm oh well i was just wondering but for the record i think Orlando Bloom is ugly god have mercy on my soul..as the fangirls come to burn me at the stake!!!
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"We overgrown boys have are flicks" should read "We overgrown boys have our flicks". It's a posessive pronoun, not the first person plural of "to be".
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How bad is this preview? Mmmm... Words fall short... it's cheesy, has fairly poor CGI, and Johnny Depp is pretty much laughing directly at you in the preview; it's like he's saying I just banked 10 mil, and you're watching me fuck with you.
Orlando Bloom looks sheepish trying to convince you to go see this pathetic squirt of vaginal discharge.
Forget this one...
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On the one hand Depp is super-cool and makes few bad movies. But OTOH Jerry Bruckheimer makes complete rubbish... Geoffrey Rush seems to be chewing scenery like Bruce the Shark, but OTOH "try wearing a corset" is a terrible terrible line. Even odds on this one, kids.
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the vast majority of women who visit this site are interested in MEN, not pretty boys. Orlando doen't do too well without his long blond wig. However, thank you Harry for at least giving us something to look at besides a very CGI-enhanced Lara Croft!
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wht do i get the feeling that this is part of his screensaver. actually, never mind. between the pic, harry's sonnet to orlando and the creey animation in the corner, i feel like i need a shower. then im goin over to CHUD
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Seriously, give up the pretense. Just come waddling out of the closet now. As someone else pointed out above, what exactly was the point of this story? Besides indulging your ,certainly non-requited, obsession with any man involved in LOTR, there is no point. And guess what genius, your the one that puts up the sexist and degrading banner ads on this cheesedick site. I know they pay handsomely for your kind reviews and banner space, but the mysogony on this site is all of your own accord.
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I love that boy. I just know that I'll watch this film to see him with the long hair again. ever since The Alamo Drafthouse showed Jaws while we floated in the lake, my friends and I have been on a pirate kick. I think SpongeBob also gets us in the pirate mood ### Actually, the corner animation creeps me out too, but it is funny to see it next to those ads.
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Harry, posting pics on your site is fine. But telling your viewers that this is for the cause of all us women and girls and deliquents who spell 'i' with little hearts above them, doesn't give you a decent enough excuse to lay back in your room and wank to a picture of Orlando Bloom.If you wanted to be that decent then where's Johnny Depp, huh?
We don't need this place to become another "OMG, Orli is sooo my future husband" website. There's already 50,000 or more out there in the web. Stick to what you're good at and find the juicy shit on other movies, my friend! -
it's nice to know a male has noticed how ridiculous the 'reality' shows are. unfortunately this point has missed the majority of male population... in all fairness i'll admit Mr. Bloom is fun to look at - however he doesn't have his trousers hanging down around his knees now does he.... thanks again
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My hands are shaking. OK, that's probably the 4 cups of coffee, but still. This is the movie I'm anticipating above all others.
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Speaking on behalf of skinny guys everywhere, I say it's about time a skinny guy was sold as a hunka hunka burnin' love!
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You don't know where that hand's been! sk
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Man, if I wasn't so excited about this movie, I'd be upset that the link showed us absolutely nothing new save pretty boy Bloom trying to bring in the ladies. But I am, so I don't care, I don't care! This movie MUST round out the Matrix + the Hulk as the big 3 of the summer. Damn BB2 + T3- damn 'em all to hell! Let's here it for fey pirates + screaming monkey creature thingies! Out.
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If you find the fucking t and a banners so misogynistic, why don't you just take them down. Then putting two fingers up at your sponsors won't sound so hypocritical.
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I was wondering when it would kick in. Next step: someone will tell me it's been around all along.
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I've nothing against the fella, good luck to him - an unknown actor landing an enormously flashy part in the biggest trilogy of films ever. He looks great but his acting in Lord of the Rings was poor, at times excruciatingly so. His "This is no mere ranger!" and "Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said?" interjections are really am-dram quality. However, like he should care about my opinion. He's rolling in dough and has to beat the girls off with a shitty stick. I just think he should invest some of his money in acting lessons.
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And I'll tell you something, for some reason the last year and a half at the movies has been giving up some real male eye candy - maybe somebody worked out that it wasn't just 18- 35 year old males that went to movies. And when women do go to the movies, they don't necessarily only want to sit through non-funny romantic comedies starring Jennifer fucking Lopez. Not just LOTR but Donnie Darko and even Spider-Man were great excuses to sit in a darkened theatre and think rude thoughts. Even Johnny Depp looks good to me in this one, mascara and all. That said, I still owe him a fat lip for making me sit through "The Ninth Gate" but I'm always on the lookout for a reason to forgive him. Aw. Orlando Bloom. He's a bit too vanilla for me, but he has this kind of gormless earnestness that's really quite cute. The girls at work love him.
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I love Johnny Depp too. Orlando is of course cute, but this movie, I'd see it for Johnny. He's hilarious and his quirk complements his beauty so well. My favorite parts of the trailer were when he was on doing his silly pirate stuff. I know he'll turn kick@ss in the film. I was worried for him when he signed on to do this, but I can see why he agreed -- it's not like he's a jack@ss or something. This is Johnny: strange and beautiful, with long hair and deep mascara. LOL!
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Orlando Bloom is gorgeous, and anyone who says otherwise is very strange. Having a Brit lead the way in good looking men for a change is good, instead of it being American guys playing the attractive roles, and he has plenty of talent, obviously in acting!
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I thought a disney movie would have seamonsters or cyclops like simbad - movies had just more fantasy, but it seems like this will be more of a movie like musketeers-monkey island-count of monte cristo movie.
I dont think, it will be bad. but who cares about Pirate zombies???
just give me the monsters and a buckle full of rum :) -
Sorry, I don't have anything whitty or sarcastic to say, so no one will bother reading this. But other than the way the ghosts face scrolls from human to ghost look, I quite enjoyed this trailer. It's enought to get me to a matinee anyway.
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and good to see other women posting here (or those claiming to be women). Yes Legolas is a poncey prancer, but I guess he is pretty to look at nonetheless. + As far as the welcome trend of male objectification in the movies: The Mummy is a fav with me for that very thing. Brendon Fraser and Oded Feyher (sp?) are splendid eye candy, and meanwhile Arnold Vosloo (Imhotep) regenerates his big fleshy body and subsequently shows more and more of it until he's down to his priestly skivvies. Now if only some of the dudes in LotR would take a bath on screen, because Viggo looking all rugged in full ranger gear still doesn't equate to Liv Tyler in a sheer dress with no underwear on, or the cleavage-baring funeral dress. I'm just advocating for equal objectification of the sexes. Gollum in a loincloth doesn't count. Peter Jackson, I'd like to go on record and request that you show Eomer and Aragorn skinnydipping in the Anduin, with playful splashings, hair mussings and other monkeyshines.
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I hope you've learned your lesson, Harry. You post a picture of that pretty boy Bloom and all the Gays and Barbara Streisand whiners come crawlin' out of the woodwork. If you damn broads want more chick flicks, you'd better find some good women directors. CRAPteurs like Baba Streisand and Betty Thomas are not the answer.
Why do Gays insist that everybody is in the closet? Get over yourselves ya pipe smoker.
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Every movie he produces has good actors and the trailer looks great..then I go see the movie and it sucks. I bet he is going to trick me again..fuck bruckheimer.
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Same people right?
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All I can say is that I will be pissed if they don't include the fuckin' song.
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Is it me or would he make a good younger looking Robin if they do decide to go with a Frank Miller / Year One movie?
At least, I think so *shrug*
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