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OLD SCHOOL review
If the sight of two exceptionally fuckable topless college girls with rosy-red nipples absolutely covered head to toe with K-Y Jelly set to wrestle with an octogenarian gets to you, see OLD SCHOOL, go now.
If seeing Will Ferrell blossom forth on screen as what can only be called a retarded ballerina overcoming their handicap and triumphing in an Oksana Baiul sort of moment makes you anticipate your giggle, then see OLD SCHOOL.
If you’ve been hankering for a pasty white hairy out-of-shape asscrack jiggling through the streets of College Town, USA, then see OLD SCHOOL.
If not, fuck off! Don’t see it. Keep your elitist ass out of the theater, don’t go! If you’re disgusted and offended… Fuck off! If Adults cussing and knocking around kids offends your delicate pampered sensibilities… Fuck off! This isn’t the movie for ya. However, if right now you can imagine seeing a movie with these sorts of things going on… If Gang Bang humor floats your boat… If underage OOPS sex makes you giggle… If you want to see an entire line of guys with cinderblocks tied to their cocks and that fills you with glee, or like Rav gives you a night's worth of entertaining experimental sex urges… THIS IS THE MOVIE FOR YOU. If not, fuck off.
It really is that simple. I mean, this has outrageous funny as hell moments that the sheer audacity and improper politically incorrectness makes you shocked while laughing… ah, I mean this made me laugh hard. I mean lose a kidney hard. Spleen damage hard. And ya know, one look at Rotten Tomatoes tells me there is a whole slew of reviewers that… well should have just Fucked Off, because they had a miserable time with the film.
I felt the film had a strong absurdist moral center. Everyone had personal barriers and rules of conduct… except Will Ferrell who should be fucking institutionalized for the safety of chipmunks everywhere. He’s wrong. Just all sorts of fucked up. And yes I understand the theory that he was, “playing a character,” but personally I think that’s just a cover for serious mental illness. He’ll end up on a tower on a college campus someday shooting at dots. He’s disturbed.
Vince Vaughn on the other hand… well, he’s only mildly delusional in a bi-polar fashion, but I think under proper adult supervision and moderate usage of tasers and choke leashes he’s available for neighborhood walks and card games.
Luke Wilson, I feel, is repressed and really needs to smoke more pot. He just needs to cut loose, get laid, and understand that what he had with his old lady was pure love and that she was opening up a world, a beautiful and touching world that would have given him personal insight into things he only dreamed about as an adolescent with his penis stuck in a shampoo bottle for two hours on that Friday morning causing him to be late for school. But he chose to be traumatized by that experience and didn’t understand that having one’s privates restrained by powers beyond that of your control… well was about trust in inanimate objects and eventual shrinkage… but that’s neither here nor there, just one of those things that I feel most likely was a cause for him pulling away from an opportunity at a better, freer life.
Todd Phillips was that guy that directed ROAD TRIP, this was better… those two vaseline covered college chicks and the mass penis/rope/cinder-block scenes… really made the difference.
Oh, and Will Ferrell’s beautiful singing voice, dance choreography, gymnastic skills, jogging and imitation of that dying water buffalo in APOCALYPSE NOW… all just grade A stuff. I mean, that’s exactly why he should seek containment in some manner of Federally subsidized facility for the mentally and criminally challenged. I think this is a positive thing for him.
And I’ve never seen what my ass looked like laying nude on a grassy knoll before, I’m very thankful to Mr Phillips for giving me an idea of just how sexy my ass could be… if I were a sex machine with a real hot groove. As always a film should reflect truths about one’s self… this moment made me more complete. Thank you.
Personally, seriously for a moment here, I really did feel this was an exceptional comedy with complete and utter irreverence for humanity and the basic innate sense of decency that God gave to a self-abusing chafed fool sitting at his computer shaking his head at this sentence. I’m very pleased with this film. It made my day.
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I agree with you Harry. Old School is great.
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I'll go see it. No, really. I will. Promise, honest, like swear to god or some junk.
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I'm also first, and second!
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I am going to see this movie tonite. I love stupid school films like Loose Screws, Screwballs, Joy Sticks (doesn't quite count, but should), Animal House and its many rip offs, and heck, I even loved Road Trip and Van WIlder (except for the dog cum scene). I am goiung to see this movie tonite with my brother, the man who makes all stupid movies even better. Peace out.
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On one hand, sounds like it might be designed for adolescent boys. On the other, Will Ferrell. The clincher - a Wilson! Yay!
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Man, I can remember when I looked forward to seeing that asshole in a movie. But, charlesgrodinsux, you have joined your hero in suckitude. Fuck first posters. Fuck them up their stupid asses.
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Total rental. I am going to see Daredevil again. Fucking gfreat fun flick... man, the DVD is going to have an extra 25 mins of footage... KICK RAW ASS!
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If this film has Harry dropping lucky seven f-bombs and ruminating on his sexy a$$, then maybe this thing is fun.
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In no way am I an elitist because I thought this movie stank. I dig dumbass comedies as much as the next guy. But there were problems galore with this movie. First, Luke Wilson was a sleepwalking hitchhiker to the shenanigans happening around him. He didn't motivate the movie forward, he didn't fight for the girl or for anything in this movie, he primarily just let things fall into place around him. Why was he the center of this movie? Secondly, the wives of both Beanie and Frank's characters were pretty much useless to the story. This movie would have been better had they centered the story around Vaughn's and Ferrell's characters and their struggles to keep their wives in the dark about the fraternity they've started. Third, if you're going to put a hot piece of ass like Elisha Cuthbert in your movie, you'd better be prepared to use her and not just abandon her storyline almost entirely. That was just sad. I could go on, but I won't. I was generally disappointed in this movie. It's not as dumb-funny as "American Pie," or even "Road Trip," and wasn't a good campus comedy like "PCU" turned into. But all that could have been changed if it was Ferrell and Vaughn's movie, and not Wilson's. But pay your $8 to go see Elisha Cuthbert's ass in pink panties. That's worth it.
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Looking forward to it. Been out of the loop for a couple of days training in San Antonio, I need a goofy ass movie to put me back in it. I learned how to throw an attacker to the ground, good for me. Anyway, I'm back. You may resume your weird ass obsessing.
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Feb 21, 2003 10:12:00 AM CST
What, Station? Didn't you find BLADE 2 to be as good as eating p
by dog of mystery
More often than not, I disagree with Harry's reviews. Not because I hate a lot of the movies he reviews, but just because they don't stir in me the passions that flow through Harry's body. I'm passionate about movies, don't get me wrong, just not in the same way as Mr. Knowles. Don't let Harry gushing over OLD SCHOOL make you avoid it. C'mon, man...it's got Will Ferrel in it.
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did someone say very fuckable co-eds? i hope this is as fun to watch as van wilder. HAVE YOU SEEN THE DVD?!?! i love the menus.
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I saw it two weeks ago and laughed my ass off. Finally a stupid adult comedy. Will Ferrell is a complete loon. Only thing they did wrong was not time some scenes right because people were laughing so hard that you couldn't hear what was being said afterwards. I really hope this movie does well. Then maybe we can get some good R rated comedies back on the screen.
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Oh, boy. Goodie goodie. More gang bang humor - exactly what we need. While no doubt this movie will be fun, I think the only reason Harry liked it was for the lovely co-eds. Or, as Fett points out, the beautiful male ass. Will Ferrel makes me laugh, and I absolutely love Vince Vaughn (what female in her right mind doesn't), but I think I'll wait for the dvd now that I know its just American Pie with an old guy in it. Who am I kidding, anyway - this movie was made for men. And Larry? PCU - THAT was gem. Absolutely.
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The movie had a few funny moments. Vaughn and Wilson are better than this material, but they were funny, as was Ferrell. These filmmakers might ask themselves, why is it funnier to always have the black guy be the one who's sexually humiliated? Eddie Pepitone was good, tho he only has one line: "You already work at Red Lobster." The filmmakers dispose of all logic and potential emotional involvement in the service of gags, which is fine, I guess.
The real issue is, why do I feel like I've been sexually harassed after reading every one of Harry's reviews? What is all that shit with the shampoo bottle and what the fuck does it have to do with Old School or how Harry felt about it? -
Old School is 100x better than PCU and Van Wilder. And who gives a damn about that dime-a-dozen blonde from 24, she's there to set up a joke - one that the audience I saw it with pissed their pants to (yes, urine was actually trickling down to the front of the theater). Hey, everyone has their own take on movies and I gotta respect that, but if you really like dumb comedy movies and if you think Will Ferrel is funny, then this is the movie for you. It'll be the best $9.75 you'll spend that day. The trailer for Chis Rock's new movie is attached, it's either going to be very funny or it's going to really suck balls. He plays a normal guy who's picked for some reason to run for president - and yes there are some old white ladies rapping or cursing (cue laugh track). It's been done before, but maybe they found a new way to present it... I hope. I'm curious to know... the trailer was very washed out and dirty looking, giving it a really cheap feel to it. I hope they've fixed it and made it look more polished.
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Why would I go see this steamer? I can't tell you how many times I had to see this trailer in a movie theater. The audience guffawed and chuckled at all of the dumbest jokes. Why not add a laugh track so even the dumbest people know when to laugh? I can appreciate dumb humor, but as a satire. I can't appreciate dumb humor when that's all it has to offer. Sorry.
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Thankfully for the worlds population, Harry will never be a "sex machine with a real hot groove" as he phrases it. To see him naked would be as shocking as when Clooney and O'Donnell unveilved those rubber nipples in Batman & Robin.
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Feb 21, 2003 11:06:43 AM CST
Harry says, "If you don't like watching crap - FUCK OFF!"
by california split
AICN is getting paid to promote this film with good reviews and "sponsored" screenings because the studio knows what a piece of junk they're unleashing today. Harry is a cheap prostitute for Dreamworks and dares to tell people to fuck off if they don't agree with his bought and paid for "opinion"? Pathetic.
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Looks like I'll be fucking off then... sk
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not going to see this movie. I was going to make this one a rental, because it doesn't look worth all the money for a theatre go, but now, NOW, I've had this guy WHO THOUGHT DAREDEVIL WAS DEEP AND CONTEXTUAL tell everyone who doesn't like it to fuck off. Tells me it ain't worth the shit they fingerpainted the script with. Telling people to fuck off if they don't like a movie. A MOVIE. How about this: No. Hey, if I go to a flick with a certain expectation of quality and it (to me) sucks dick, I don't have to fuck off because you got off on it. By your logic, if a movie pleases just one person (let's say the filmaker) then it's appealed to its audience and everyone else can fuck off because they're uptight assholes who don't get it. You're the Uber-fanboy, I get it. But, damn, your reviews really suck and in this case, are pretty insulting. That just my opinion, but I'm sticking to it. And any of you who don't agree with me...Fuck off.
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if anybody has a cock small enough to fit into the opening of a shampoo bottle (even with the cap screwed off, as I'm assuming Harry meant), then goddamn dude -- I feel sorry for them. As for Will Ferrell, has anybody seen the recent issue of Runner's World with him on the cover? When I saw that cover lying on my parent's coffee table last time I visited, I nearly choked with laughter. Funniest photo EVER.
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...just a brief note on "Old School." I saw this movie at a special preview two weeks ago and though the first hour is, indeed, laugh-out-loud hilarious, the second half of the movie absolutely tanks. I mean total flatline. I'm serious. The first half is a damn fine set-up, but it's as if the writer(s)
didn't have a clue as to what to do with their characters or plot after the first 45 minutes or so. One of our fellow posters mentioned the plot thread where
our protagonist finds himself in bed with an almost impossibly nubile Elisha Cuthbert. Great stuff that could have been mined for some genuine belly laughs, yet this promising storyline goes extinct faster than the dinosaurs.
This isn't a bad film by any means (not nearly as bad as the abortion that was "A Guy Thing" - saw that one last month and I will never forgive myself for pissing away two hours of my precious existence) but if you have to see it, please make sure that it's at a matinee price and not the full evening price. Or, better yet, wait until they release the DVD and then rent it. -
...just a brief note on "Old School." I saw this movie at a special preview two weeks ago and though the first hour is, indeed, laugh-out-loud hilarious, the second half of the movie absolutely tanks. I mean total flatline. I'm serious. The first half is a damn fine set-up, but it's as if the writer(s)
didn't have a clue as to what to do with their characters or plot after the first 45 minutes or so. One of our fellow posters mentioned the plot thread where
our protagonist finds himself in bed with an almost impossibly nubile Elisha Cuthbert. Great stuff that could have been mined for some genuine belly laughs, yet this promising storyline goes extinct faster than the dinosaurs.
This isn't a bad film by any means (not nearly as bad as the abortion that was "A Guy Thing" - saw that one last month and I will never forgive myself for pissing away two hours of my precious existence) but if you have to see it, please make sure that it's at a matinee price and not the full evening price. Or, better yet, wait until they release the DVD and then rent it. -
Really, Harry. That's great that you love movies, but damn dude, a little subtlety every once in a while wouldn't kill you. Everytime you love a movie it causes you to lose control of some bodily function or other. That was some "review". If we don't agree with your opinion we need to "Fuck off!"?? What kind of shit is that? Does the thought of Harry suggesting that anybody "needs to get laid" strike anyone else as kind of funny & a little ironic? Okay. must be just me.
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was all that profanity really necessary? c'mon now.
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I thought that subject line mught get you sad, sad idiot geeks' attention. What is wrong with you people? Have you been closed off from society in your parents' basement for so long that you've forgotten how to commuicate with other human beings? Hey buddy...Look out the window. See that voluptuous biped walking down the street? That's called a chick. Talk to her..you'll like it. Trust me. This review is meant to be tongue in cheek...funny even! Sarcasm!! Stop overanalyzing shit and getting pissed off at Harry about a fucking movie review. You are all guests on HIS fucking site and every damn talkback here is littered with posts about about how you asswipes no longer respect the man's opinion. NOBODY IS MAKING YOU SEE THE DAMN MOVIE! Harry is just giving you his particular perspective on the film, and trying to make his review FUN TO READ. And I'm with him on this one...if you can't defer to your sense of humor once in a while then FUCK OFF!! For me, Harry's perspective means alot more than the point of view of some week-minded jerk-off who stopped by AICN on the way to some fucking Furry porn site.
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I thought that subject line mught get you sad, sad idiot geeks' attention. What is wrong with you people? Have you been closed off from society in your parents' basement for so long that you've forgotten how to commuicate with other human beings? Hey buddy...Look out the window. See that voluptuous biped walking down the street? That's called a chick. Talk to her..you'll like it. Trust me. This review is meant to be tongue in cheek...funny even! Sarcasm!! Stop overanalyzing shit and getting pissed off at Harry about a fucking movie review. You are all guests on HIS fucking site and every damn talkback here is littered with posts about about how you asswipes no longer respect the man's opinion. NOBODY IS MAKING YOU SEE THE DAMN MOVIE! Harry is just giving you his particular perspective on the film, and trying to make his review FUN TO READ. And I'm with him on this one...if you can't defer to your sense of humor once in a while then FUCK OFF!! For me, Harry's perspective means alot more than the point of view of some week-minded jerk-off who stopped by AICN on the way to some fucking Furry porn site.
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Feb 21, 2003 1:39:13 PM CST
Thanks for the review, Harry...now I know to stay FAR FAR AWAY f
by minderbinder
Hmmm...Old School or fuck off...looks like fuck off wins!
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You pay for this site by writing porn reviews on your off hours.
There is no other reason for your reviews to have become as pointless and profane as they have become over the years. You're like a ten year old who wants to impress his friends with how "dirty" he can talk.
Oohh...you said the f-word. Now write a review that we can take seriously. And please, oh please avoid the sex stuff: no one wants to hear about you and writhing nakedness in the same sentence. -
sorry.
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The studios must love Harry. Not like they have to spend a lot of money to get him on their team. Being called 'elistist' by a morbidly obese virgin hillbilly is almost a compliment. Anyone who wastes their time and money on this sorry excuse for a movie obviously has too much of both.
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This is an excellent movie! I've seen it, and there are no flaws whatsoever! It will change your life! Trust me! See it again and again for full price, then buy the DVD!
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WHYYYYYYYYY OOOOHHHH WWHHYY DIDN`T YOU WRITE A FUCKING catch me if you can REVIEW????????????????????????????
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In all seriousness, generally guys that big LIVE on the toilet. They spend all day shitting. I bet Harry's movements are the size of a large cat.
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But you should seriously consider quitting your job and watching this movie several times a day. Then when the DVD comes out, you must buy the regular edition, the director's cut, the special edition (2 disc), and the ultimate edition (4 disc). You should really buy them all twice.
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Someone once told me that "Porkies" is the biggest grossing Canadian movie ever......so someone out here must like this SHITE!!!!!!!!!
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One which you'll never see because your video store sucks, "Hated: GG Allin and the Murder Junkies," and the other you'll never see because drunken fratboys become litigious when sober, "Frat." Both are disgusting and endlessly entertaining. Look for them. Todd Phillips is the latest jewel in NYU's crown.
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I just wanted to say that so when Harry posts the news I can say "Dude I fucking posted that THREE DAYS AGO!!!!!" or else something as obnoxiously stupid. sk
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Feb 21, 2003 3:05:12 PM CST
Rev.......I mentioned Robert Downey Jr for Mad Max 4........
by doc cock
.......and got my arse skelped, so wire in wee man
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Feb 21, 2003 3:05:28 PM CST
Rev.......I mentioned Robert Downey Jr for Mad Max 4........
by doc cock
.......and got my arse skelped, so wire in wee man
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Feb 21, 2003 3:05:46 PM CST
Rev.......I mentioned Robert Downey Jr for Mad Max 4........
by doc cock
.......and got my arse skelped, so wire in wee man
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Feb 21, 2003 3:06:26 PM CST
Rev.......I mentioned Robert Downey Jr for Mad Max 4........
by doc cock
.......and got my arse skelped, so wire in wee man!!!!!
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Feb 21, 2003 3:06:26 PM CST
Rev.......I mentioned Robert Downey Jr for Mad Max 4........
by doc cock
.......and got my arse skelped, so wire in wee man!!!!!
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Feb 21, 2003 3:06:26 PM CST
Rev.......I mentioned Robert Downey Jr for Mad Max 4........
by doc cock
.......and got my arse skelped, so wire in wee man!!!!!
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Feb 21, 2003 3:06:48 PM CST
Rev.......I mentioned Robert Downey Jr for Mad Max 4........
by doc cock
.......and got my arse skelped, so wire in wee man!!!!!
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Feb 21, 2003 3:08:30 PM CST
Rev.......I mentioned Robert Downey Jr for Mad Max 4........
by doc cock
.......and got my arse skelped, so wire in wee man!!!!!
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What does "skelped" mean? And why post 8 times? sk
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Feb 21, 2003 3:15:43 PM CST
"Skelped"......scottish for slapped.........spnaked..you know...
by doc cock
.....don't ask me about what happened if you lot want to call me a wanker.............go ahead I deserve it...ta ta
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Old School has some gold moments in it, but they are few and far between, and none of them actually connect into a "story." The idea of old guys not being over to get over their youth is funny- but most of the humor doesn't even come from the premise. There are some wonderfully funny moments- most of them involving Will Ferrell- but overall, there is so much of this movie that could have gone further and been funnier. There are subplots that are suddenly dropped, characters that don't fulfill their potential, and just moments of utter stupidity that counteract the hillarious parts. Wait til it's on video.
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Don't believe the negative hype! It's the funniest thing ever! Will Ferrell will make you wet your pants with all the hilarity spewing forth from his comedy-hole!
And I'm not a plant...I'm a real person who has seen this movie with other real people! -
I'm sure I'll still see the movie, but I'm sure this review is more offensive than the movie.
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Harry, that was your worst review since Blade 2. The thing is, I really believe that you're better than this. I know you have issues, there are flaws there, but you're really not this awful. You should feel embarassed and ashamed. Reading it felt just like watching the drunk guy at the party make an idiot of himself. You feel uncomfortable watching, disgusted even, and you know you've got to face them again sometime. It's really not too late, just pull the review and pretend it never happened. All of us who pawed our way through your bowel slime feel too dirty to ever want to talk about it. We'll never mention it again, just pull the review. If you want to post some kind of apology to your loyal readers, I think that would be appropriate, but I know not to expect miracles. You're a big man Harry, but are you big enough? If you have any real sense of values or self-worth you should not only pull the review but also try to claw back some of our respect. Are you big enough to send personal emailed appologies to everyone who posted here today? Probably not. Oh, Harry, I really feel for you. Why did you do it?
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I have to admit - these 'my dick is longer than your dick' posts are more entertaining than the original purpose of this site.
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review? I have no problem at all with Harry loving or hating the film, but does he have to make a joke about thinking underage sex is funny? Makes me feel the same way I did the other night watching that Michael Jackson special. Not something I'd be joking about, but hey-it's your site harry.
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The funniest part of the review was the part where HARRY KNOWLES suggested LUKE WILSON needs to get laid.... I understood he actually meant the person and not his character. If I'm wrong I'm sorry... but I have a rather strong feeling that Luke Wilson gets laid MUCH MUCH MUCH more often than Harry Knowles ;)
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Seriously guys, this is the funniest fuckin talkback EVER!!!
I just friggin pissed my panties over that shit! Randle mcmurphy vs. the real fett......Randle, I hate to say it, but fett is really takin it to ya. Hey fett, that museum shit was fuckin hilarious!!! Hehee....randle mcmurphy has downs syndrome....fuck me in the butt. By the way, I think will ferell gets his tit cut off when he goes streaking... -
Cause honestly, if I haven't already seen Old School already and I read this review, there's no chance in hell I'd go. I liked the movie, thought parts of it were hilarious as all hell - but if I were to convince you to go I'd just say "yeah, it's really funny, go see it," I would talk about sticking your cock in shampoo bottles and how I wonder how sexy my ass would look on screen. Not to mention referring to finding out your woman was having gangbangs every night you weren't around a beautiful thing - sorry but the idea of screwing another girl with 5 other guys or so isn't my cup of tea. Vince Vaughn and Will Farrell are funny as all hell though. It is better than Road Trip. But if Harry is getting paid by the studio to write a review like this, any studio exec can call me up and I'll do the same thing, much much better too.
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Harry showers us in his rainbow tendancies once more as he makes a figure skating reference. Just come out of the closet motherfucker! The little bread crumb trail that you litter your writings with is so fucking obvious. Last week you're drooling over Affeck's ass, this week you're referencing the grand champion of all homosexual sports, figure skating. Just come out of the goddamn closet already. We can all tell you and McWeeny jerk each other off while reading the talkbacks and repressing everyone that flexes their free speech muscle. And telling people to fuck off for being elitists for not liking the film? How fucking hypocritical can you get? Every year you champion some little piece of shit movie and call it a work of genius because they joined the little brown circle that you and fuckhead have. Sweet fucking christ, have you read your own shit?
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This is a funny movie. It's worth seeing.
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Feb 21, 2003 5:01:42 PM CST
Deac Speaks..... What a Suprise, harry Loved another Movie he sa
by deacon
This must be the age of bliss for Harry being he loves absolutly every movie he sees... it's fairly obvious he's being paid off, after the Batman And Robin fiasco (back when the site was pure) studios realized how powerful this kinda site can be so they decided to give knowles a wad of cash to give their films a good review... Only reason Star Trek Nemesis didn't get a good review was because Moriarty and others bashed Rick Berman so much he didn't wanna give them Money he was so insulted... everyone do a favor and goto http://www.corona.bc.ca/films it's a real movie lovers site withreal reviews and NEWS... no shit about how they got the news or that they think the film reminds them of from their youth, just news.. nothing else, as for reviws, hey guess what, they are actually reviews! not "when i was 9 years old my dad took me to a burger king in mississipi and it was then i realized i loved the cock, and this is the story Star Wars Episode 2 Attack of the Clones is trying to tell"
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My nephew died because of it, and here's your sorry ass supporting it. Fuck you! Fuck you to hell. I will not come to this site anymore.
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True SomeDude, Hated and Frat House are two of the best documentaries ever. Too bad not many people have seen them. Not many people know it, but Todd Phillips was one of the taxi drivers in a couple of the first episodes of Taxicab Confessions as well.
Any good independent video store (like Scarecrow Video here in Seattle) will have Hated, but Frat House was never released on video. BUT! That doesn't mean you can't find it. One place on the web has it. www.revengeismydestiny.com has it and other wacky stuff like The Turkish Star Wars. God bless the grey market... -
harry mad suck puny cock of little boys with micheal jackson'' little boy lovers!!!! smash that boy/
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THE REAL FETT is my goddamn idol!
You, sir, are one hilarious motherfucker! I pray that one day I can be half as funny as you. You just made me shit my pants. "hairy behemoth".....holy
shit dude. ROCK ON BROTHA!!!
Randle has nothing on you!!! -
Woody pockets and ancient lights should lay off the cock. You fuckers are dumb as shit! How could you cheer for Randle?!?!
That guy's a tosser. The real fett is the true genious on this talkback. He has more wit in his left nut than you fagrapers put together. This guys is second only to monty python in terms of laugh-out-loud humor. Of course you ass-spelunking dipshits wouldn't know, cause you got the sense of humor of a bloody vaginal burp. The real fett has replaced georgelowbnd as the coolest cat on these boards. For he is the only reason I come to this site. Keep up the verbal abuse fett!!!
-#1 fan -
....this site has gone into such a terminal stall that it ain't going to recover no matter who's at the controls and will slam into the earth with such velocity that all will perish.....
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Yeah....there seems to be a lot of the "f-word" in this little review.......BUT SURE AS SHIT IF I GO OFF FOR EVEN ONE MINUTE I WILL BE SHUT DOWN AND SHUT OUT OF TALKBACKS FOR BEING SOMEWHAT SCHITZO MYSELF?????.....WILL FARRELL'S ASS IS A DREAMY THING MY BROTHER!...MAKES ME WANNA GET IT ON WITH A COUPLE OF CANNED HAMS....DAMN! I'M HEADED TO THE THEATER NOW WITH AT LEAST A HALF DOZEN CANNED HAMS, A CAN OPENER, A CASE OF SCHLITZ AND A WHOLE LOTTA LUBE!!!!!!....IS GONNA BE MESSY FUN FUN FUN!!!!....HELL....I MIGHT EVEN SKIP THE LUBE!!!!! WOO-HOO! 'BOUT DAMN TIME WE GOT PAST ALL THE PERIOD BULLSHIT AND RAP STAR/JET LI ACTION FLUFF AND GOT US SOME REAL QUALITY MOVIES!...BRING ON THE PORK FAT!!!!!...And thus, I have risen from the dead! - - - George, The 7th Chicken!!!!
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...you've never gotten laid.
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"If you
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Yes, ladies and gents, Harry's finally admitted to it. Don't worry, Harry. You're not alone. You've always got Michael Jackson to find you some little kids to fuck.
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And I would still stand by it, if only he didn't refuse to run it because I didn't drop the "F" bomb or seek to offend the reading audience (I am assuming). Old School DOES have some very funny moments but the real problem is the three main characters are about as dysfunctional and sorry as people get. Yea, it is funny when a hairy naked guy goes streaking but if you accidently think about it for .3 seconds you recognize he is a raging alcoholic who needs help. Funny but 100% brain check required. Laugh while you see it and cry when you accidently ponder it. The other two guys are JUST as screwed up, but without booze to blame it on.
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I'm starting a campaign to keep "Dim" Judi Dench out of "The Chronicles of Riddick".....send your donations to "keeptheoldwitchoutofthemovie.com
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I really don't see what Harry did wrong here guys. He just said "if you're looking for 'film', don't bother, if you're looking for trash to just tickle the immature stupidity-demon inside, you might laugh". I got it. Hell, I might even see the film if it plays on tv now. Why? Because it would suck if this was failed low-brow. Harry says it's successful low-brow. And I kinda trust him more on low-brow than on comic-inspired films. Less open to interpretation.
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Now I know that Harry subsidizes this site with the money he makes from reviewing porn because that's what all of his reviews have sounded like for the last year.
Harry get your hands out of your pants and maybe, just once, write a review that doesn't come off as worthless because of your need to sound like am eight-year-old who just learned how to curse.
You're losing it. God, if you talk this way in everyday life, you must be unbearable to have a converastion with you. -
I usually don't read whole reviews before I go see a movie, but sometimes I go to Ebert's page on the Sun-Times websites to just check out how many stars a movie has. I was all set to go see Old School, until I saw that Ebert only gave it one star. Thinking I had just narrowly missed seeing a stinker, I went and saw Daredevil a second time. Still a cool superhero flick the second time around, but now that I see Harry's review, I might go see Old School next weekend. Will Ferrel was always funny on SNL. Guess Old School just wasn't Ebert's cup of tea.
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Old School is the funniest fuckin movie ever. I wish I had enough money to see this movie again. I definitely would've watched it twice in a row. I'm gonna go see it again on Monday. GO SEE IT! SUPPORT WILL FERRELL, COMIC GENIUS!
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*TEAR* *ENGINE STARTING* *PEEL OUT*
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is when Vince Vaughn's character is in his room with the underage chick and R. Kelly is playing in the background. its the subtle shit I love. and the dumb shit. and the make-no-sense shit and smart shit and everything. Old School is very funny.
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will never see that film anyway
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Feb 22, 2003 2:39:00 AM CST
Harry, please do not reference your obese ass ever again. Nobody
by jules windex
Old School was total mediocrity. I liked almost everyone in it(except Juliette Lewis--man, talk about a career being over), but it just wasn't that funny, and even a dumb comedy need SOME plot to hang jokes on. If not for the mad genius of Will Ferrell, and Kim Bauer's ass, this would've been a total waste.
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Eh. Same old Talk Backing. Blah. Blah. Blah. Daredevil. Blah. Blah. Blah. Obligatory Joke about Harry`s Weight. Blah. Blah. Blah. Aint it Cool News Sold Out. Blah. Blah. Blah. Mindless Nostalgia. Blah. Blah. For a bunch of people constantly criticizing modern entertainment you sure are boring, predictable, lazy and oh so commercial. I mean really, when you think about it? You are exactly the same as the studios and filmmakers you attack, because you`re constantly dumbing yourself down in favor of sounding "hip/cool/witty/sarcastic/glib or snide". In the end you preach art and intellectualism but you pander religiously to an invisible barely recognizable audience who are made up of knuckle-dragging brain-dead troglodytes who endlessly whine about everything because it`s easier to smash something down then build it up. And because let`s face reality, you`re looking for problems that are technically easier to solve so you can avoid the real problems that exist in the world that you feel you cannot solve. So you perpetuate a circle of useless angst-ridden bitterness that`s born of a self-imposed intellectual castration and you set out subconsciously to infect the world with this mediocrity in the hopes that if no one dare attempt to achieve anything remotely spectacular in their lives you can feel okay about your obviously failed and useless existence. HA! I love you guys! Keep up the great work.
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Sorry to go off-topic, but I have to ask: What exactly is it that happens in 'Life of David Gale' that caused it to earn such poor reviews? I would have thought that 'Old School' would have the worst reviews this week. Apparently there is something SO absurd, SO contrived, that happens in 'Gale' that even the presence of Laura Linney can't earn the film some pity stars. I never had any intention of seeing 'Gale' and still don't, but the reviews have been SO negative that I'm perversely curious. Someone help a brother out and tell me what happens.
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Although who says everone's dumbing down their posts? You've just thoroughly depressed me.
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I thought just like you until I got banned from this site for expressing my first amendment rights. In my post the was not one curse, one derogatory statement about Harry's weight or sexual orientation. I simply contributed some intelligent, constructive criticism, and was banned for it. All for mentioning a certain "faceless critic" of the site. Now it's fucking open season for me on these bought and paid for reviewers.
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...protect you against the government limiting your free speech. It does not against private citizens. So, you have no 1st admendment rights on a private site.
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Oh never mind. Anyway, does anyone else here suspect that the REAL FETT and Fettitular are in fact the same person? I can see how it might happen. A person with a confrontational attitude, an inability to let someone else have the last word and the wit and reasoning capabilities of a herring, feels compelled to join in talkbacks on the internet. He immediately starts launching flame attacks on other people, convinced of his own verbal adriotness and quicksilver humour. To his horror, he discovers that the other people on the boards react with contempt to his semi-retarded mumblings, reminded as they are of those muttering drunks who you often see hanging around bus stations, spewing their incoherent diatribes through snaggle teeth and beards matted with spittle and vomit. Fett doesn't know what to do. He is convinced of his own skill and wisdom, despite all evidence to the contrary. How can he persuade these people of his greatness? Then it occurs to him. He will invent a second identity, a sycophantic homonculus who will post a message shortly after every one of Fett's posts. "Oh you're so great Fett" this new creature will say "You're so witty and visionary. I bet all the girls want to sleep with you. I know I do..." and so on. And so Fettitular is born. A lickspittle phantom conjoured from the inflated vacuum of Fett's ego. The problem is, Fett is such a moron, even imaginary people will realise it sooner or later. Give it a few months, and Fett is going to start having conversations with himself like Gollum in the Two Towers. "Ho ho ho, I've just thought of something exceptionally clever to say." "No you haven't. You're a fool." "I have, its brilliant, everyone will love and they will love me too." "No they won't. Everyone hates you. They all think you're a cretin." "No they don't." "Yes they do!" "Shuttup! Shuttup! Oh someone please make the voices stop!!"
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Feb 22, 2003 12:39:35 PM CST
I don't know Harry, You raved about 'undercover brother' too.
by theginger twit
What a pile!
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the rest was pretty boring, yes there were some hysterical parts but overall, i found myslef waiting just to get out of the theatre, that, in my opinion is not a blast of a movie, and having shown more than half the funniest parts of the movie on the trailers really ruined it, I'm not gonna read any more of these fucking reviews anymore because it's douchebags like harry and the rest of them that hype it up so we go in with huge expectations and get disappointed,don't get me wrong, overall I liked the movie and laughed my ass off for parts of it, but alot of the movie was a yawn fest - so fuck off aicn bastards!!!
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and there was totally not enough tits and ass in this movie, although there was a great shot of kim bauers butt!!! it was good to see her not get lost somewhere and almost eaten by a mountain lion and then trapped in a bomb shelter with a psycho, 24 rocks but kill her already fox!
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Maybe, just maybe, the filmmakers should fuck off. Otherwise, your argument holds true for every abortion of a motion picture. ("If you don't like the 'Rollerball' remake, fuck off.")
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......this site is still on Friday 21st Feb in the UK.....is that sad or what.....
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Only cause i'm tired of depending on saturday night live reruns for laughs,we need more funny movies like this,i'm tired of watching the shit thats out there now.My way of protesting will be going to see Dare Devil two more times.
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I've been hearing it from a lot of people, and for some reason it just didn't register. Quint and Moriarty should be running this site, this review is absolute garbage... not to mention the gayest piece of literature I have ever read. Harry, it's amazing that you can talk so much about naked women and make it sound gay. C'mon, you're supposed to be some sort of writer. This is garbage.
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It's a reference.
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If you think Fett's top ten list is a red flag waved in our collective faces, head on over to the Dog Soldiers 2 TB to see the reasons he didn't like the first Dog Soldiers. Not THAT he didn't like it, mind you, but the reasons WHY he didn't..... Doc out.
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I didn't think it was that irreverent. Ropes around cocks are funny enough, but it should be the situation, not the giddy stepping outside the bounds of normal decency that makes it funny. Shit, maybe that was what they were aiming for, but I donno. I have more respect for the hard-ass who doesn't hold the sames things sacred that society does, than I have for the immature who get off on being 'naughty'. To be sure, I liked Old School, it was funny; I just wasn't sitting there with a red face enjoining notions of anti-Puritan Puritanism.
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Euh. I posted before I read everyone else, and now I feel kinda bad about taking a position even slightly or politely contentious to Harry. Hysterical talkback! from virtually all parties involved, but I just want to lend my note of pro-Knowles support.
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While Will Farrell is pushing real hard (and showing real lard) to get the laughs, Vince Vaughn just keeps stealing every scene he's in with the attitude and the lines. (He knows how to work a cigarette for laughs, too, particularly in clown make-up.)
Vaughn, Farrell, and some "Animal House" vibes save the show. Poor Luke Wilson gets saddled with the straight man shit. Better luck next time.
As for good looking, jive talking Vaughn, stop with the psycho killer roles, stick with comedy, and stardom awaits. -
I went to this poopstain of a movie, partly on Harry's advice, and I didn't like it, not because I don't have a sense of humor, but ironically, because I do have one. I should've stayed home (fucked off) and watched Animal House for the 20th time.
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Feb 22, 2003 8:56:47 PM CST
I saw OLD SCHOOL today and enoyed it...glad I saw it when I did,
by stifler's mom
Harry, just how mush cash are the studios stuffing down your pockets? First you bust a nut over that POS Daredevil (which lost 2/3s of its audience this weekend, by the way) now you're turning what should have been a simple reccomendation of a very funny (if mostly forgettable) college pic into some kind of ego-trip psyhco-babble fuck-you to all your readers. We know the studios pay big bucks get their ads on your site and sway your opinion about their products, but does it have to completely deteriorate your ability as a writer as well?
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this movie had me laughing so hard I took a shit in my pants because my colon-hole was hurting and then because of the smell of my excriment I caused a lady next to me to throw up on some fag's popcorn - who was into the whole putrid thing - which then his vomit breath caused the guy next to him (his boyfried, I presume) to get a raging boner which then burst through his pants and sprayed the theater with a bunch of cum. If you're diturbed by what I just said, "you're in the backseat, FAGGOT!"
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"you're my boy, Blue!"
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This movie was very hilarious. That is all
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i wasn't saying anything from the movie with that talkback subject line just now, it's just lyrics, and i just realized it looked like i was reciting a funny quote from the movie. Not the case. Calm down. Now let's all get drunk and go streak
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nothing to see here. move along.
harry, it'd be really nice to come to the site once in a while and read an intelligent review that doesn't bring up childhood memories or comparisons to old films or tells the reader to fuck off.
take a cue from moriarty and learn to write. -
I enjoyed "Old School". I can't really say much about it, but that's it's a good comedy.
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I scanned this whole fucking talkback up to your post, looking for the answer to this question: is this the same Todd Phillips who made HATED? (which I own because, though my video store does suck, my friends rule). Thanks again for clarifying; I will see OLD SCHOOL for Phillips' direction alone.
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but I did enjoy the film. Stop picking on poor Harry. He's just trying to make a living. OLD SCHOOL was a fun, forgetable romp. Did anyone see the homage to RUSHMORE?
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what was the rushmore homage? I didn't see anything..
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"PCU - THAT was gem. Absolutely"
What is it about PCU? It is not exactly a laugh-out-loud comedy and it is clearly a pale imitation of ANIMAL HOUSE. Yet it is emimnently watchable over and over again. It must be the dry humor of Jeremy Piven, I have decided. -
"megan ward - I think she is just cute as hell. What ever happened to her ? Someone please tell me the movie career didn't do well and she's been doing porn for the last 5 years."
If you check her out on IMDB, she has been pretty damned busy both on TV and in movies except for a gap in the mid-90s, when she might have been raising a family or going to school. Or making porn flicks. Who knows? I only see one sexy film to her credit, and it is a typical Skinemax flick, not a true porn flick. She probably looks too much like Penelope Ann Miller for her own good. -
Hey, if the sight of two beautiful, virile young women who are, like all beautiful, virile young women everywhere, are clearly gagging for it with absolutely anyone, including sad old gits, gets you upset then fuck off, cos we here at AICN are not elitist, pompous dickwads like you must be. Oh no! We support the right of sad, shoe-gazing geeks everywhere to believe that all women are just there to be shagged rotten. And by the way, we do not support any racist, homophobic or other offensive behaviour here. Man, this site has truly got its ethics fucked up. You know, I understand how much fun a good T&A fillum can be (or should that be a
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Harry's review is a trifle too enthusiastic, but I liked it too. It's a funny trashy movie, but I would have just kept stuffing in more gags, until they oozed out the sides. Ferrell is very good here, as the funny sideshow. I hope they won't make the mistake of overkill and give him the whole movie. It wouldn't work. But this did.
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Get out. Get out now. There's only room for one UncleFucka in this web site, and it's me, bastard. I know I'm loved by millions, but sheesh man... Are you some kind of stalker or something?
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There hasn't been much to laugh about in the whole spectrum of things recently, but this movie did it for me!! Not since "Dumb and Dumber" have I laughed my Ass Off with such blatant moronic slapstick. I loved this movie. Ferrel and Vaughn ROCK!!
The old man that plays Blue also rocks...Fuck this whole movie ROCKS!! -
much. Really, he was only a little gay this time and the rest of the time he was funny. The movie was a good romp. I wouldn't call it gross-out humor or even a sex comedy, but it was definitely guy humor. If you are not a 30-something male would fondly remembers college and still hangs out with his buds, your milage may vary.
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I saw it tonight. Think "Animal House" crossed with "Fight Club" and "Revenge of the Nerds" and that's pretty much it. The scene in the diner almost looked like an homage to "Fight Club".
("No charge for you Godfather.")
I'm not raggin on it though, it was funny. Very disjointed, too sentimental, but with some good setups and great Will Ferrell moments. In fact he completely saved the movie. He made throw away lines funny just by the way he did them. Vince Vaughn played his "Swingers" character for the most part, and was funny, just not in much of it. Toward the end Vaughn disappears for a while. Luke Wilson is the straight man and the "hero" so he gets the sentimental TIME TO GROW UP crap. The women are nearly all wasted. Especially Leah Remini who has about 3 lines of dialogue.
It's worth a matinee for the few really great scenes. But I agree with some of the other posters, it could have been soooo much better. -
Ferrell was the best thing in this movie.
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First half was hysterical, while the second was a little disappointing. All in all it was great, but the first half left me wanting more in the second. Will Ferrell was awesome.
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Mar 07, 2003 10:56:50 AM CST
'THEY'RE TAKING EVERYTHING, EVEN THE STUFF WE DIDN'T STEAL!'
by silver_joo
Animal House remains the all time classic college movie, sorry folks.
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Is the guy Chevy never was.
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