Cool News
New PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN Art
Harry here and I don't have any new information about the shooting of PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, but I do have a ton of pics that I haven't seen. I have also been asked by quite a few readers to address the genre of Pirate films and in Talkbacks amid the insults I've seen people ponder loudly why anyone would give a shit about a Pirate movie.
If all you know about pirates you picked up from THE PRINCESS BRIDE, GOONIES and ICE PIRATES... and you know you hate pirate movies because you saw CUTTHROAT ISLAND and HOOK... well, I'm here to give you a bit more to consider.
The world of Black & White Film is where for many of the older crowd, the pirates ruled the silver screen. In many black buccaneer hearts Douglas Fairbanks is the pirate that cut the cloth and pattern that everyone else followed with THE BLACK PIRATE. This silent film is something rather odd, because... it is a Silent Film, but it is also in gorgeous 2-strip Technicolor, though for years the only way to see it was Black & White. The film is non-stop action and spectacle. Most of the dynamics that are hallmarks of Flynn were birthed by Fairbanks, the innovation that Flynn brought was... well I'll get to that in a bit. There is a spirit of derring do that Fairbanks has that is just thrilling. The hidden trampolines to give him that extra leap to his leaps - pre-wire fu, but a bit of the same magic. That feeling that Fairbanks was a god, able to do that which no mere mortal could hope to do. THE BLACK PIRATE is not only a wonderful pirate movie, but exemplary of the spectacle and majesty of the Silent film era. You owe yourself the joy this film will bring.
There were other silent Pirate films, but unfortunately most have gone the way of Nitrate... flames and dust... There's an incomplete copy of the original silent CAPTAIN BLOOD from 1924 in the Library of Congress, but I've never had a chance to see what there is to see.
For me, the next significant Pirate film was the 1934 TREASURE ISLAND with Wallace Beery as Long John Silver - a role he should have owned had Robert Newton not been genetically engineered for the part by Walt Disney in the fifties. This edition of TREASURE ISLAND is the best directed version of the story ever told, though not the most endearing. Wallace Beery is an actor that has been lost to most modern eyes, but his Silver and his Pancho Villa and his Champ... they're parts that will live forever in my memory. The direction by Victor Fleming is spot on and the score by Herbert Stothart... well, it just didn't lift your heart the way a good pirate score should. Check this film out, it might be your favorite TREASURE ISLAND, as it is for many.
Next came the age of Errol Flynn. With CAPTAIN BLOOD in 1935 several things happened to come together all at once to make a film of such startling majesty that Flynn instantly and for all time took the mantle of the swashbuckling god. As wonderful as Douglas Fairbanks was, Flynn changed ADVENTURE forever with CAPTAIN BLOOD. First, Flynn anchored his films with a sense of righteous indignation that set him far apart from the other heroes at the time. He was a scoundrel in all the loving ways that Han Solo said the word. When you love Harrison Ford in STAR WARS or EMPIRE STRIKES BACK - you're loving a slight reflection of Errol Flynn. His Peter Blood could be hurt, could suffer, could hold a grudge for all time. His Captain Blood understood the need for mutiny as a righteous and just act. His Pirate understood that when the system that puts men in chains and declares unjust wars and taxes, it is the time for men such as he to raise the skull and bones and take it back and live as free men upon the seven seas. His pirate had a code. He operated outside the prescribed system of rules and regulations, but he had an internal code of right and wrong that made him... Well righter than they were.
As easy as it can be to put all of CAPTAIN BLOOD upon Flynn's shoulders, there was more to the magic of that film than just Flynn. While this was far from Michael Curtiz's first film, he'd made 106 titles by that time, it was his first gigantic step forward. The cast he assembled was perfection. Putting Olivia de Havilland as the aristocratic femme that is at once repulsed and powerfully attracted to the rogue that was Flynn was brilliant. For you STAR WARS fans - this is where Lucas lifted Solo/Leia. The verbal quips between these two are classic. This is the exact type that spells perfection of romance in the Pirate film. The morally questionable handsome scoundrel that knows it'll be sweeter when it comes rather than when it is taken and the good girl that wants it bad, but knows she shouldn't. The sexual tension of the pirate films is a must. Absolutely necessary. Not in a cheesy way, not in a camp way, but in a smoldering way. In a sweaty we ain't got nothing better to do sheer animal lust and attraction sort of way.
The last major piece to the pirate puzzle is the pirate that is even worse than our bad guy. The pirate that doesn't have an internal set of morals. Basil Rathbone's Levasseur is the perfection of that. He is a Pirate, and to be a pirate means that nothing is sacred. Women are to be taken. Beer and wine are to be drunk. And lives are to be thrown away and treasure is to be stolen. A pirate is to be judged by his appetites and his conquests and Rathbone's 3 feet of steel means the world is his shucked oyster.
Then the icing. That bit that was put onto the film that made it lift into the hearts of men and women forever. Erich Wolfgang Korngold's arranging of Franz Liszt "Mazeppa" and "Berg-Symphonie"... well it became the music that sells this line of Flynn's, "Up the riggings, you monkeys! Break out those sails and watch them fill with the wind that's carrying us all to freedom!" The keys to a successful pirate film all lie in CAPTAIN BLOOD... it is the prototype. The perfect concoction that all other great pirate films flow from. These archetypes, these emotions, dynamics and swells of horns and strings... these are the feelings that put salt in the nostrils of theater patrons and the wind in their hair.
As you can probably tell, I love CAPTAIN BLOOD. But equally I love SEA HAWK and a film called THE BLACK SWAN. The SEA HAWK many that know CAPTAIN BLOOD and Errol Flynn know. In many ways it is a superior film. Curtiz had perfected his action beats, become more familiar with the cinematic prowess of both Flynn and Korngold and he did indeed weave a tale of majesty, derring and cool. However, THE BLACK SWAN brought something to the world of cinematic Pirates that has never truly been equaled. 3-Strip Technicolor. To watch THE BLACK SWAN on a giant stretched screen, is to see the colors of backlit ribbon candy move and delight. Tyrone Power and Maureen O'Hara are so great as to be miraculous. His swordsmanship is great, though lacking the careless flair and wonder of Flynn, there is an exactitude to his movements... a deadly purposefulness that makes his fighting more ruthless and less "fun" as Flynn's. With Flynn, he understood the danger and loved it, with Tyrone Power... he saw only the danger and the need to end it. You should also see this film for Anthony Quinn's wonderful Wogan. The BRUTE pirate. A key archetype that was needed for the genre. You should also see from this period Fredric March's amazing Jean Lafitte in THE BUCCANEER. For the best pirate comedy ever done, check out THE PRINCESS AND THE PIRATE with Bob Hope... that's a great film!
At this point - the pirate film never again got better. Ever since this period we haven't struck the perfect film balances of the Flynn pirates or Tyrone Power's Jamie-Boy. That isn't to say there aren't worthwhile pirate movies after this period... Quite the contrary... they just weren't PERFECT! I love CAPTAIN KIDD with Charles Laughton, but it is a more dramatic undertaking, less adventurous. For PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN to succeed greatly, it needs to cast Orlando Bloom or Johnny Depp as an Adventure God. I'm a bit worried that they may have divided their Flynn or their Tyrone Power into TWO characters instead of keeping them as one... But we'll see.
When Walt Disney wanted to make his first dramatic live-action film, he decided to dust off TREASURE ISLAND and make it his first conquest. When he found Robert Newton to play Long John Silver, he found the greatest pirate of all time. Lovably dependably cutthroat. You would never get Long John Silver to reform, though you may think ya had. Robert Newton brought eye-rolling and all new syllables to "ARRRRRR" that became music to the ears that longed for the lapping sound of waves upon a beach. With Newton's Silver you knew he would kill everyone if given half a chance. He was a fair weather pirate, whose innate sense to always know from which direction the wind blew, assured him of coming out on top. Newton was so loved, that a sequel was made starring LONG JOHN SILVER - and I like that film too. And then Raoul Walsh cast Robert Newton as BLACKBEARD, THE PIRATE to great use. But this was where the pirate film became pitched as a child's adventure story. This is where it changed. Never mind that this film has a child killing someone, a scene that we'd never see today. Or the sheer wanton bloodthirsty nature of the pirates. Walt understood that these were the aspects that made us all love pirates. It was their AMORAL nature, that we all KNEW to be wrong. The problem today is that we all presume our kids haven't a clue about right or wrong so we better have the films constantly reassuring righteousness, or else they may become pirates... rather than just PLAYING PIRATES.
There's another pirate movie that came about in the Fifties that I dearly love called THE CRIMSON PIRATE which is a pirate action comedy starring Burt Lancaster and his trapeze partner Nick Cravat. This film is propelled by Burt Lancaster's dynamic physicality and charm. He's just so thrilled to do everything. So happy to fight, to leap, to jump, to do derring-do. This is a film that follows quite a few of the CAPTAIN BLOOD rules, only Eva Bartok's Consuelo never matches the delicious despicable loveable nature of Burt in the film. And while I love Torin Thatcher like a god I pay tribute to, he's never as threatening to Lancaster as he needed to be. You never doubt the outcome.
Then there's the pirate film, I wish I could go back in time and add $400,000 to the budget. THE PIRATES OF BLOOD RIVER. Here's a film with a great cast of scoundrels... Christopher Lee, Oliver Reed and Kerwin Matthews... But there's no pirate ships, it is the novel approach of an entirely land-based Pirate Film. No planks to walk, no sails to fill. Yet even with those hallmarks of the genre taken away, the performers and the ruthless nature of Hammer Films still makes for a good film. The best pirate film of the HAMMER era for me is NIGHT CREATURES with Peter Cushing and Oliver reed, but again... it just doesn't quite have the scale it needed.
For my money the last straight good pirate film was SWASHBUCKLER - a film I'm convinced Leonard Maltin has never really seen, and that I would love to see on a big screen again. I love Robert Shaw and James Earl Jones and Peter Boyle in this film. The swordplay is wonderful and... it's got Quint as a Pirate! What the blue blazes do ya want in a film?
There are other pirate films, but these are the jewels. The ones that I'm hoping PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN joins. By adding the supernatural aspect to the film, they've added a twist that hasn't really been explored. There's been cursed pirate treasure, but we've never really seen the curse played through. The best pirate films have all been accessible to all ages, but that's because "Bloody" is the curse word of choice with "Scalawag" coming a close second for any pirate worth his salt.
These images give me hope that we have a genuine good pirate film on the way. Vincent Price never played a pirate (so far as my memory can conjure) so Geoffrey Rush will have to deliver in his place. And both Depp and Bloom.. they have the capability for derring-do. Watching Johnny in DON JUAN DEMARCO, well it certainly clues you in to the possibilities of his swashbuckling. All the key iconography of the pirate genre seems to be here... If Gore Verbinski can unsheathe this sucker and make it bleed and breath on the big screen, then I'm there. I have high hopes for this film. I truly do.
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Feb 06, 2003 3:31:08 PM CST
Look cool... but I'm getting sick and tired of Orlando Bloom-man
by elwen
Still, looks like it will be a lot of fun...
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Errol Flynn is, was, and will be forever the best swashbuckler in movie history. I for one can't wait to see this, and Russell Crowe's new movie, I hope they can bring the genre back a little bit. But no-one will compare to Flynn, I'm not a homosexual (really I'm not) but the man was just handsome as hell, and the women wanted him, nobody is like that today.
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Feb 06, 2003 3:41:19 PM CST
Any Talk of "Great Pirates" Is Remiss without mentioning Guybrus
by chicagodaly
Perhaps the greatest pirate ever. Ever. EVER.
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gets a peg leg in the arse.
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Haunted Mansion....oh man that looks like utter shit.
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YOU ALL CALL CUTTHROAT ISLAND A BAD MOVIE, WHY?. FINE IT FLOPPED AT THE BOX OFFICE BUT THAT WAS BECAUSE OF A BACKLASH DUE TO THE BUDGET. THE FILM ITSELF ROCKS. IT HAS EVERYTHING YOU COULD WANT FROM A PIRATE MOVIE (well perhaps without matthew modine, who i will addmit sucks). IT HAS BIG OUTLANDISH STUNTS, GOOD EFFECTS AND ALL THE SWASH BUCKLING YOU COULD WANT. I HAVE WATCH IT MANY TIMES AND STILL ENJOY IT, I THINK ITS MAIN FAULT APART FROM MODINE WAS THAT THE PUBLIC HAD FORGOTTEN WHAT A PIRATE MOVIE WAS ALL ABOUT AND DID NOT RELATE TO IT. AHEAD OF IT TIME PERHAPS ?
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I was waxing my sailboat this summer and got the ol' TV/VCR combo out and watched Disney's Treasure Island for the first time. Man, I couldn't get enough of that movie.
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When I went to Disney World in 1989 "Pirates" was pretty impressive and atmospheric. Space Mountain was a billion times better than that lame Haunted crap. It looked like an exercise in set design, not scary at all. And this comes from someone who is STILL terrified of E.T.
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Dont cursed pirates Ragetti and Pintel look a bit like (the late) Siskel and Ebert. Not that Roper dude. I don't think Ebert wears a patch though. I'll have to watch the show to see for sure.
In some ways they kinda look like biological waste aways of R2D2 and C3PO, but that's actually getting funny... -
Thank you Harry, that was a lot of fun to read, and you've surely contributed once more to my grossly oversized dvd wishlist. The pictures look beautiful, and I'm really aching to see Captain Blood now (but is it even on dvd yet? I know the Adventures of Robin Hood isn't, and that's a fucking crime, but if it's not, I wonder if Capt. Blood is). Anyway, thanks for the education, and now I have one more movie to look forward to taking the shweeb to this summer. Unless, of course, the Pirates of the Carribean is rated DARRRRRRRR!!!
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Feb 06, 2003 4:25:19 PM CST
Vincent Price never played a pirate (so far as the internet movi
by sith witch
Price was in a pirate movie: The Black Buccaneer (1961)
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So that's why things have been slow here lately, he's been writing this novel on pirate films. Just funnin', I'm actually getting sick of people bustin' his balls lately. He's only human, I think . . .
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I am sick and tired of hearing your pathetic little "give me attention, cause i'm a snotty duchebag" rants. You self-absorbed, pretentious, ass-clown. May you rot in hell as you watch your grandfather get his rectum torn by beetlejuice's huge, fat, donkey-cock. Now shutup before I cut off your tit.
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I wonder how much Gandalf/Legolas slash fiction there is out there? I wonder how much of it was written by Ian McKellen?
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Depp and Bloom in feisty buccaneer-duds!?!? Holy pirate-blouse batman, imagine the teen magazine foldouts!
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That is all.
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Feb 06, 2003 5:13:43 PM CST
Well congratulations Disney, "Haunted Mansion" looks like CRAP.
by elgyn6655321
I`m afraid I`m going to see Mickey Mouse giving handjobs for crack soon.-------------in semi-pirate-related news, Dark Horizons reports that "Goonies II" is still slowly delveloping. I don`t know whether to be happy to see it eventually, or think it`s just way too late at this point.---------and as for Eddie Murphy, he is notorious for snatching-up projects that Steve Guttenberg turns down.
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rated AARRRRR?
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with a huge pirate ship stirring wheel hanging out of his pants. The bartender says, "Hey, do you know you have a stirring wheel hanging out of your pants?" The pirate responds while grabbing the wheel and sighing, "Yeah, it drives me nuts."
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What about Pirates of Penzance with Kevin Kline and Angela Lansbury an amzing film. Who agrees?
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And I have no affiliations with any other monkeys on this site. In other news, this Pirates malarkey looks like it will butter your arse with stylish energy. But why are all these DreamWorks directors jumping ship (no pun intended)? Gore Verbinski and Todd Philips. Ah well, I guess they should be free to do whatever the hell they want. But DreamWorks remains the studio of choice for developing talent and established kings of cinema. Bosch!
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Why does the ship have balloons? This would seem (a) anachronistic, and (b) pointless.
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...just to make sure you all know. Orlando Bloom is mine. That is all.
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I can not wait to check this movie out. I have been waiting for this for a while now.. :)
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Have you such empty lives that you need to act like this on this website? Anyway...I have been hoping for a great pirate movie for a long time...I hope this'll open the dorrs for someone to budget a big-name western now!! Let's go!
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they look nice, but a li'l too much. I'm not asking for subtlety though!
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Arrrby's!
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Now that really sucked...wait a minute I did enjoyed it when I was like 12 years old.
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actually it all looks decent but the whole "disney" thing really kills my high
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I believe this is a behind the sceens photograph. The baloons are a lighting source. It simply allows the filmmakers to simulate natural light more effectively. They are usually used at night to reproduce moonlight.
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What about Pirates of Penzance with Kevin Kline and Angela Lansbury an amzing film. Who agrees?
Watched it again recently after a gap of a couple of years. Holds up surprisingly well both as an Americanized adaptation of G&S and a funny pirate film. Kline is quite suave and convincing as a pirate king. There is one pirate in several background scenes who virtually steals every scene he is in, but only if you watch closely since the focus is always on Kline or Rex Smith. He has a brown beard, no mustache. Watch for him. The late Tony Azito is simply amazing as the rubbery police chief. -
What house, even a mansion, would have more bathrooms than bedrooms? Why doesn't Eddie Murphy at least try to do something halfway decent? At least he had the sense to do Bowfinger.
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Feb 06, 2003 8:51:51 PM CST
Alice in Wonderland (Disneys best animated film) is the movie fo
by moriarity report
I think the giant spinning tea cups represent the irreverent
insanity that is Wonderland. Adults look silly or "insane" to children because we instruct them to act a certain way, yet we do not act that way ourselves. Thats why Alice is so "by the book". She knows must act a certain way and can not understand why all of the silly characters act the way they do. Brilliant stuff there. The story and it's message are so relevant to today's childen because traditional children's fairy tales have become politically incorrect. It reminds me of South Park in how it teaches children (through satire) that the world is basically full of crap. Alice is far from the typical, bland Disney heroine. -
"I'm really aching to see Captain Blood now "
CAPTAIN BLOOD is probably the single best pirate movie ever made. Flynn played a pirate in two later movies but neither was as good. You truly believe he is CAPTAIN BLOOD. You never once think of him as an actor in a role. He pulled off the same feat in only one other movie: ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD. After these two films, he lost his youthful, star-like luster and started looking like the hard-drinking womanizer that he was. -
How dare you declare that I am not the real fettastic. All you wannabee fetts better recognize that the lord of the talk backs has returned in true form!!! Now the rest of you can go fuck your hobbit dolls while i jerk off my throbbing member to my lifesize sculpture of harry knowles. And to monkeysareevil....kiss my sweaty chewballca sack. (p.s. caleb sucks)
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rob zombie.
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Feb 06, 2003 9:07:51 PM CST
Univeral's Peter Pan will be this films real competition (unless
by moriarity report
Although it's not due till next summer. The good thing about both of these is that nobody wants to repeat that indescribable experience that was Hook. That has to be one of the biggest "what the hell happened here?" flicks of all time. The skeleton pirates really worry me though. They seem so unnecessary since all we want is just a great swashbuckling pirate movie since it's been so long since we've had one. They didn't need to give us a pirate movie with "skeletons" in order to distinguish it from all of the other pirate movies...because there aren't any others. This feels more like a sequel. I think that's Hollywood's attitude these days..."Let's give them a sequel, in the original film! We'll make it bigger, louder, badder, less intelligent, and we'll throw in some unnecessary CG characters! Yes! Cool pirates by themselves aren't enough for kids these days. We need skeleton pirates too!" I guess this could be the Army of Darkness of Pirate movies. After all, AOD still worked well as a medieval time travel story too. So we'll see.
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Feb 06, 2003 9:31:09 PM CST
Nate and Hayes, please somebody else besides me remember Nate an
by supreme nothing
It's set in a slightly later period than your standard Pirate movie, but close enough. It deserves more notice than it ever got. Look it up on Amazon and read the reviews. Sadly, it's not on DVD......
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fuckin suck cock and die huneybee you bloated sack of dog shit. I'll cut your head off and shit down your throat you useless pile of rancid bloody feces!!!!!!
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"It's gonna suck." Eddie Murphy is no longer funny, he's just sadly pathetic. "It's gonna suck." -NJM
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Feb 06, 2003 9:48:41 PM CST
sorry I have to say this, but BobClark you need to pick up your
by imageburn13
your posts are always crappy. you need to stop posting crap no one want to read. your posts suck and they're boring. Think up better shit before you post. words cannot explain how lame your posts are. sorry, but what I say is true. dude post away, but come up with better shit. and your email sucks too. I was going to send you an email but then I see what you're email is. Seriously,Dude are you like, a raelien? I mean, rael 5. whatever? Thats really fucking lame. you know what? I dont care and you just need to know that I remember the first post you posted (which wasnt all that long ago) and you INTRODUCED YOURSELF and blah blah and you've never ever posted anything funny. come up with better shit.
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His career
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That means so much coming from *you* :)
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Feb 06, 2003 11:00:29 PM CST
I am a pirate king...and it is, it is a glorious thing to be a p
by kingkrypton
I fully agree with putting THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE on the list of classic pirate films. But, come to think of it, Orlando Bloom looks quite a bit like the Pirate King in this get-up. Mayhaps if they ever do a new film version, they could put him in it, eh? ;)
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"Yeah, John, but when the Pirates of the Carribean break down, the pirates don't try to eat the tourists!"
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This movie looks like a steaming pile of monkey crap. Any cocksmoker that spends their hard earned money on this garbage should be exposed for the worthless piece of crap that they are. I for one, am calling a boycott on this film. Who's with me.
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Aquaman is far and away the worst superhero of all time. I mean, with other superheroes you get xray vision,ability to fly,superhuman strength. With AquaQueer all you get is the ability to talk to a fucking dolphin. And it was always the same dolphin. Fuck Hanna Barbera. Fuck Them. Next thing you know AquaFag is summoning a can of tuna. That fat fuck...And to all you talentless fettfucks out there, shut your cumfilled piehole. Out.
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Feb 07, 2003 12:41:30 AM CST
will the real fett stand up...it doesn't matter you're all jerko
by sundown
WTF is that shit with Hunnybee? All of you (I have no idea which one was the original banal dickwad that is fett) have basically ruined what was a pretty decent medium to sound off on movies. Yeah there were flame wars but they used to remotely involve FUCKING MOVIES. I doubt any of this will penetrate the shells of you lifeless geeks because in the ends its just words typed into a keyboard and if you get your rocks off typing away who gives a shit about anyone else. Doesn't matter cause if you keep this up Harry will take away the TB'S, fuck he SHOULD take away the tbs. Its one thing to have geeks saying your site is in collusion with the film industry and being angry over being banned for that, back in the day that's what we all got banned for and were proud of it...well that and making fun of Aunt Neru's death but that's another story. Fact is this is just boring pathetic and confusing shit. Odds are Fett is posting under, what, 3 fucking names by now? seduceanddestroy the monkey one and one of the fetts I'm guessing. The other 2 fetts should drop the moniker and the real fett needs to GO AWAY. He is ruining it for us all as this bullshit eats up every talk back and he spews nasty hatefilled garbage that don't even have anything to do with film! I actually long for the days of hatefilled WWII rhetoric in the Enemy at the Gates TB's or arguments over the Matrix and Star Wars. At least they involved film. Bottom line is I probably haven't changed your minds but if you don't go or knock it off we WILL lose the tb's because as much as Harry needs the hits this shit is so embarrassing and will cost him so much he'll have to. Sleep on that.
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I liked Hook, you ass-clown.
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Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian.
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...the theater has seats that spin in circles! The thought of looking over at my date and seeing the ghost of my grandma between us tonguing my ear. H-H-Hot! E-ticket baby!
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Lewis Black: Thanks for the head's up! It's good to know, though I gotta worry about Harry... /// Mr. fettasticsUserID guy: er...a boy-crazy feminist....yeah...right.... But, ok.. ORLANDO!!! (Sorry, but when a guy gets in my skin like that, I can't help but fantasize. Do it again! No. Wait. You're banned!) /// And OT: Harry, keep 'em coming (historical commentary or no)! I want the world to know ORLANDO BLOOM IS MINE! (I might even sing about it! That is, run while you still have time, folks.) That is all.
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Arrr!-Nold!
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Feb 07, 2003 2:44:59 AM CST
For my money the greatest pirate movie, nay, the greatest movie
by traveler
Yellowbeard!
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Well, I simply LOVED it. It's probably the best Disney animated movie ever. Perfect animation, fine action scenes, very good plot, and well-developed characters about whom you actually care --- for what else can I ask?
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Feb 07, 2003 3:57:50 AM CST
Let's see a pirate epic with a few brain cells attached to it
by wild at heart
The real pirate phenomenon is full of incredible color and extraordinary characters and events without resorting to bullshit pantomime and melodrama. Piracy is one of the oldest professions in the book. A young Julius Caesar was held hostage by pirates and ransomed. The term 'turning Turk' was applied contemptuously to Christians who would instantaneously 'convert' to Islam to save their asses if captured by corsairs of the Barbary Coast. John Hawkins, one of the great English naval commanders during the War of the Spanish Armada first made his fortune as a slavetrader and freebooter (all with implied approval of the monarchy, of course). Henry Morgan was so gifted at ravaging Spanish New World settlements and shipping in the 17th century that the English Crown rewarded him with the governorship of Jamaica. Captain Kidd, despite his infamy and notoriety, wasn't a terribly successful pirate and met his end when he was screwed over by his patrons when he attacked and took a foreign vessel. The document that would have vindicated him and stayed his execution wasn't unearthed until a century or more after his death. What I'm trying to say is that pirate stories- real pirate stories- are great fodder for dramatic cinema. And they really haven't been explored to anywhere near their full potential. I don't necessarily mind seeing a pirate movie about buried treasure, parrots on shoulders and all that old crap but they could, and should be far more worthy spectacles. To me, piracy was just one aspect of a much greater phenomenon spanning the 16th-to-19th centuries, that being competitive European expansionism across the globe - The English, French and Dutch beating the hell out of each other, ever-shifting political alliances and dodgy dealings in palace and parliament, and practically everybody kicking the bejesus out of the Spanish. Piracy yes, but piracy amidst and driven by power struggles and political machinations. Now that's the kind of pirate movie I'd like to see. Not holding my breath though.
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The balloons on the ship are obviously there because this is a PRODUCTION SHOT, not an actual still from the film. They're probably holding the boat up or something and won't be seen by the audience. Kinda like Shatner's girdle.
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Feb 07, 2003 5:20:55 AM CST
Damn, with all the banning going on lately, I thought I'd better
by timbenzedrine
Yup, guess I'm still here. Good. Still free to express an opinion (without the nasty fear of repercussions) And to the stooge who ratted me out and had my files raided, burn in hell.
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Feb 07, 2003 6:08:57 AM CST
Not fair. There are some cool newer pirate stuff out there
by human tornado
"Porco Rosso" and "Laputa" are excelent pirate fare, and that one with Tommy Lee Jones and some missionary guy, too.
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Feb 07, 2003 6:20:55 AM CST
I'm sorry, but the chance that any modern pirate movie will ever
by timbenzedrine
"Oh ripped the shirt, how cliche, "spose you're going to make me walk the plank or something. Keep away from me you big brute, you smell like fish! Fifty lashes? He ought to get at least a hundred for what he did to me, you big fibber, liar liar pants on fire!"
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Feb 07, 2003 6:31:48 AM CST
Just another thought- when Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom come as
by timbenzedrine
An out and out desecration of the ride as it was originally approved by Walt Disney.
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Also, I agree with you. I rarely even read the TBs anymore due to all the immature bickering and the obvious need for attention that many of the current TBers who have hijacked the forum seem to crave. We used to get into flame wars...those were the good old days. ;) I wouldn't even refer to the pointless personal attacks that now dominate the TB as flame wars, though as the majority of these people are just here to exchange petty, juvenile insults. Perhaps one day the twits will depart and once again debates over movies and other issues will return. Until then, I guess I'll only hear about my name scribbled on the AICN bathroom wall from friends still intrepid enough to brave the stench that is the current norm.____Bee
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...was the one with Orson Welles as Long John Silver, where you couldn't understand a freaking word he was saying! "Mgrmglemmrgr, Jimlad!" Hilarious! sk
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Feb 07, 2003 9:50:22 AM CST
when rec.music.beatles is filled, the trolls will inhabit AICN T
by durhay
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Feb 07, 2003 10:07:27 AM CST
I LIKED TREASURE PLANET! And Cutthroat Island is a good guilty
by drath
Don Bluth and Jeffrey Katzenburg have both lost a lot of my respect with their "it had terrible characters and little story" criticisms about Treasure Planet. What gall these two have? This was a great movie, doomed by a crowded season that already had a big kid's movie in Harry Potter along with waning respect among movie-goers for traditional animated films AND their knowing the movie would come out on DVD in a few months' time. The movie had great characters, plenty of comedy, and for the first time in a long while it had HEART! It was just as strong as Lilo and Stitch, it just played with more FX. Even so it was imaginative in a way that neither Bluth's nor Katzenburg's recent efforts have been. I felt sorry for them when Disney kept turning every release into a showdown, but this proved they're just as petty.************ Cutthroat Island was a campy, fun, living version of the Pirates of the Carribean ride, and there was NOTHING wrong with that. It was no eternal classic, it didn't make full use of its potential to be stronger, but I never had reason to expect anything better. I think it's an easy target for ridicule after it ruined Coralco but so what? It was still superior to Harlan/Davis's next outing, aka that crapfest called The Long Kiss Goodnight. And it was loads better than Hook, which is a movie I did expect more from. I don't count that one as a pirate movie but it's a well remembered disappointment. It's sad that we never got a Peter Pan movie with Spielberg's production values, John William's classic Hook Score, that new script that Moriarty loved, along with Elijah Wood and Anna Paquin as Peter and Wendy back when they were both still child actors. Ah to dream. But anyway, I hear your hopeful words, Harry, and while I did think of the Dread Pirate Roberts and Cary Elwes from some pictures, I know what you meant when started off saying there have been good classic pirate movies made. Will this one be another, or is this just a fantasy movie with pirates like Hook was? I agree 100% about having two heroes instead of one. That looks like it'll dilute the formula and that's not a good thing. Gods, what if it's a love triangle?! Could that work? I don't think it will, but....?
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Be that a marlinspike in your pocket, or are ye just glad to see me?
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Living in Virgina near our nations capitol, I'll have to make sure that if LOC ever puts on a pirate festival, I'll have to go. (Also, if anyone else is reading the free movies at the Library of Congress are amazing....whee!)
Loved that article, and I think that Pirates of the Caribean looks totally amazing--the concept art and because of my sneaky not-so-secret love for Orlando Bloom.
I don't get the hate for Haunted Mansion. What the f? -
I LOVE pirate movies (well, not all of them, but certainly most.) Looking forward with lots of drooling and giddiness to Pirates of the Caribbean!
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Feb 07, 2003 1:01:10 PM CST
How DARE you NOT quote ROMAN POLANSKI'S movie "PIRATES" with WAL
by frenchnick
Gasp!
Groan!
Like it or not, t'is I believe one of the best pirate "ambience" movies yet ! I'm dissapointed to not have even heard you mention it ! Tsk...Tsk... -
999 ghosts + 1 Eddie Murphy. Just simple math, really. ......GREAT rundown on the Pirate Genre there, HK. Nailed the classix and clued me in to a few o' which I was ignorant. THANK YOU! "AARR" Bless Us, Everyone.
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When I first clicked on this link, I thought I'd be subjected to one of those usual long soliloquays where Harry name-drops a bunch of long-forgotten obscurities cared-about by nobody. YOU know what I'm talking about!! (ie, "sure, Captain Blood's great, but my FAVORITE childhood memory was always watching my rare 16mm print of Captain Nasty VonStabsalot"...) But anyway, nice + concise article, Harry; it'd be nice to see similar historical-intros to pieces in the future without any of the unneccessary personal-filibustering that's dogged so many of your past intros. And for my money, the best pirate movies out there are Kurosawa's "Redbeard" and Kurt Russell's magnus-opus "Captain Ron" ;} (a rarely-seen gem.)
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WTF is with the Haunted Mansion teaser in Real Media format. This toxic waste of a player should never be used. Criticize Windows Media Player all you want, but at least it is stable compared to the hunk of peanut encrusted crap that is Real Media Player. Get this thing in Quicktime or Windows Media format doubletime.
The Belt Has Spoken -
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2000/06/14pirates.html
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This movie sounds like a piece of CORNFELZIAN TEETH!!!!
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I am not the real fett. I have no desire to be the real fett. I just came to this site originally to have fun. However, through the months that I have been here, I have found out what scum-sucking low lifes come to this place. Hate dripping through every pour. I have come to despise this place as well as life in general. PEOPLE SUCK. That's right. Let me repeat that for effect. PEOPLE SUCK. I had a revelation after I had been banned from the chat room. I said nothing to offend anybody, yet honeybee took it upon herself to become a power crazy, childish, wench. I ask you honeybee, what exactly did I say the other night to get banned. Please explain yourself. Invaderzim was also guilty of this attrocious act. For HE was acutally the one who insulted me. I simply proceeded to call him a hypocrite, justifiably so. But that's another story. This site is full of hypocrites and low-lifes. That which I am not. The only reason you might think of me as such, is the fact that I am fed up with humanity in general. Thus I have taken a stand. A stand I will take with me to my grave: To make everybody else's life a living hell. People have treated me like shit. Well, guess what? It's your turn...
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I hope I'm not repeating anyone but the first thing that came to mind when I saw the teaser trailer was an old stand-up routine of Eddie's where he talks about Poltergeist/Amityville Horror and why you'd never see a black man in a movie like that. "Oh honey. This is a great house. Look at the neighborhood and I really love the yard and..." Spectral VO "Get Out!" "Too bad we can't stay." Looks like it's gonna make for one really short movie.
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And I thought I knew how bad the movie was gonna be when I heard the plot. This piece of horse shit of a movie is no way near of staying true to the ride itself and might even get the ride itself shut-down when that movie drive away it's customers. I thought it's gonna just Casper-copy-cat but after seeing that trailer, it's gonna make the Casper movie look like The Shining, compared to this shit. I wouldn't be surprize if Kangaroo Jack makes an apperance, to make the movie supper-shitty.
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Best line in _Captain Blood_. My friend and I always quote it, "A ship, men, and a handful of brains".
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Well, i have to say that the influence this classic game might have had in the conception of this movie is far more than you think.
In the Monkey Island series we see the introduction of undead pirates.
Monkeys main character Guybrush is really a pathetic twat. But I think there are indelible elements that we all should remember, like the Grog, the Island Itself, Captain LeChuck. A True adventure film done in the style of The Princess Bride.
That is at least what I'm hoping for. Too serious adventure films become epics, and for some reason i cannot picture Mr Depp in an Epic film.
The only main qualm i have is who is gonna play Inigo Montoya's parallel in the film, will it be Depp or Bloom?
And to all of you who use the talkback area to fight each other, take your greasy asses of your computers and walk outside, the fresh air might make you want to live real lives.
It's sad it has to come to this, but an ignore list and I.P. number bannings must be considered if the talkback is gonna survive. -
Pirates! Perhaps my favorite pirate movie is the one I never saw or could see: Captain from Tortuga from My Favorite Year!
Because it represents the pirate movie enshrined as an ideal by one's love of movies.
I doubt that this will be a movie like that, if only in the fact that I suspect FX will not add to the acting, plot, etc. However, I bet it will loads of fun.
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This was an outstanding summary of piracy on celluloid. I always loved Wallace Beery's Long John Silver. I had to LOL with, "...a role he should have owned had Robert Newton not been genetically engineered for the part by Walt Disney in the fifties."
BTW, "Nate and Hayes" was a cool ass flick & I can -
just cant understand WHY would they even think of pouring big $$$ on pirate flicks anymore??? after CUTTHROAT ISLAND i thought this genre was buried for good.
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Feb 08, 2003 3:58:54 PM CST
THANK YOU! PEOPLE FINALLY AGREE THAT "CUTTHROAT ISLAND" WAS AWES
by screenplaywriter
I sure liked it, because even though the acting wasn't too good, it had big explosions, lots of stunts, swordfights, gun and ship battles, etc. everything you need for a pirate movie. I'm liking where this movie is going because it seems to be blending the ride with the old pirate movies to make a great swashbuckler!
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A good short article on pirate film history.I Think that Charlton Heston did the best job as Long John Silver in Turner's version of Treasure Island.Newton went on to play Long John in a T.V. series called the Adventures of Long John Silver.Robert Shaw had his own series called the Buccaneers before Swashbuckler(my favorite pirate film).Oddly enough nobody has mentioned Tim Curry's Long John from muppet treasure Island.
I agree that pirate films would be much better if they only stuck with true pirate history.Backbeard,Henry Morgan,Bartholmew Roberts(aka Black Bart),and the female pirates Anne Bonny and Mary Read would make great films.My crew and I plan to attend the opening of POTC in costume.To those who don't care for pirates I say read about the real ones.You might change your mind once you see what sort of men and women they were. -
I loved the information on pirate movies, the pictures, and (of course) all there was to read about Pirrates of the Carribean seeing as it is now my favorite movie leaving all others far in the dust. However, one of the captions on one of your pictures is wrong. The messed up caption reads- "Jack(Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth(Keira Knightley) walk the plank" but Jack Sparrow was not played by my favorite actor, Orlando Bloom. Jack (as you probably already know) was played by Johnny Depp. I did love the page though. It was awesome! Thanks.
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