Cool News
Report on the script for PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN!!!
Hey me maties, Harry De La Knowles here with me golden goods upon that seven seas cinema that'll be slapping sail cloth near you this Summer... Aye, I'm talking bout PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN. Personally - the script sounds fun - rather straightforward and so long as that tunesmith Alan Silvestri sets the seas in motion with a score to soothe and excite... well me maties, this could be a tale worth telling, seeing and watching. Now, before we sail to the second star, I give you to me boy, Jamie... a fine lad...
Harry me lad, I saw your excitement over PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN and being a bit of a seadog myself, I looted and pillaged a script. I always sample a bottle of wine before I buy it. Let's have a sip, see if it's worth taking along. So, I figure if I got my hands on the script, you must have too. If everyone assumed that though, you wouldn't get all the scoops. It's a cliched, formula derived yarn that still manages to be fun. This is spoiler stuff here, but the story is meant to be understood by kids, and there are not many surprises. So here are the pieces for you to put together.
The story centers on Elizabeth, a young English girl being raised by her father in a Caribbean colony. Her father is the governor of said colony, which makes her very upper crust. Their are two men vying for her love. One is the general who has almost as much pull as the governor in this frontier colony, Norrington, and the other is a young blacksmith's apprentice, Will (Orlando Bloom.) Will's specialty is swords, which works out well in the end. Guess what? she has a thing for Orlando, but him being a poor orphan and all, it can never be. Elizabeth must marry someone worthy of a governor's daughter. Her dad is pretty much arranging a marriage for her with Norrington, but what kind of Disney heroine would ever go for that? Elizabeth has known Will since they were children. They meet in the film's opening. On her passage from England, her ship sailed through the wreckage of another ship that was sunk by pirates, and young Will is the only survivor to be rescued.
Elizabeth is kidnapped in a pirate's raid, and the two men compete to rescue the woman of their dreams. Norrington uses the royal Navy, while Will is assisted by Jack (Mr. Depp). Johnny Depp makes a hell of a pirate, with Dred locks and a gnarly goatee. Jack's motive are selfish. Let's just say Jack is the Han Solo of Pirates. So with Jack's rag tag crew, the race to save Elizabeth and win her heart is on.
So...the pirates. Geoffrey Rush is Captain Barbossa, think Black Beard. This being Disney, the Pirates can't just be evil. There just has to be some reason for them being mean all the time. Turns out, they just made a mistake a ways back, greedily stealing some cursed gold. They now live as the undead, doomed to walk the earth restlessly until they gather up every bit of cursed gold and return it.
Did I mention Will wears a gold charm on his neck with the Jolly Roger on it? His dad gave it to him. His dad who went to the Caribbean seeking a fortune, but who disappeared mysteriously? Do I even need to tell you that this is the last piece of gold that the pirates need? that Elizabeth is ultimately the bait?
I know I made some fun here of the story, because it is quite cheesy and cliched. I imagine they could have stolen this plot from some romance novel with Fabio on the cover. So why does it work? It never pretends to be anything more than what it is, and it makes fun of itself with references to the ride. When we meet Jack, he is in prison. In the next cell are 4 pirates. They are all calling over a dog who holds the keys to the cell in his mouth. You know the scene. Jack quips 'you can try all you want, that dog will never move.' Not hilarious, but it shows the spirit here. With the caliber of the (very attractive) cast, Jerry Bruckheimer action, and a few laughs, I think it should be a fun two hours at the theater with your kids.
'Jamie-Boy' Waring
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Cliches and all, I'm looking forward to this (far more than Eddie Murphy or those creepy bears).
Bring on Depp and Rush!
And... uh, sorry about my messed-up posting above. -
This man is a genius! How else could you describe a man who gets hold of a vastly fought over script, and then while reading it, uses his incredible brain power to actually SEE Johnny Depp on the pages! And when seeing such, he then comments that Johnny Depp makes a great pirate with his dreadlocks and goatee. You know, when I read the script of XXX, I immediately shouted "Vin Diesel is the best actor in this script! Just look at what he is doing here! The beauty!" It was some of his best work I could tell, and I couldn't wait until they started shooting it actually. GENIUS!
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Well, at least Jerry Bruckheimer isn't involved with this movie...oh wait, shit.
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Gore Verbinski should at least make this movie interesting. MOUSE HUNT is highly underrated, but prove he knows how to handle a kids' movie.
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Jan 15, 2003 12:28:25 AM CST
Forget Pirates of the Caribbean... NICK NUNZIATA NOW HAS A SEGME
by el duderino
Oh yeah, reading the plot summary, did anybody think back to those Monkey Island games Lucas Arts used to put out? The whole backstory behind "Blackbeard" (not his name but close enough) and his crew being these ghostly pirates just seems too damn similar. Oh well, the reviewer told us so.
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Hell, I won't need to be drunk to enjoy this. This could be better than Muppet Treasure Island.
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.. but will there be any black lightsabers?
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... cos I love the ride and love the idea of this movie. But if this was really a script review, would it make reference to Depp's hair?
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Jan 15, 2003 1:04:08 AM CST
i can't wait till disney makes a movie out of that awesome teacu
by the dude abides
that would be a crowd pleaer i'm sure.
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Jan 15, 2003 1:06:23 AM CST
Bruckheimer makes Peter Jackon's direction look subtle
by silver shamrock
well he does.
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Jan 15, 2003 1:27:01 AM CST
if nobody says "Yarrr, I'm a pirate!" in that flick, I'm gonna b
by tall_boy
they can't make a Pirate flick where somebody doesn't say "Yarrr" they just fucking CAN'T! oh and that dog with the key chain is a fun in-joke to the ride at disney world -- where for about 20 years or so the dog HASN'T moved...
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screw the naysayers, this sounds like a winner. besides, we need a little more tongue-in-cheek these days, movies included... just cause it's not the ultra-serious, overly-pretentious horsecrap (like 90% of what studios are burping out) doesn't mean it won't be fun. i sense a definite indy jones vibe happening.
HELPFUL HINT - when you do sit down to watch 'pirates', be sure to snag the back row. cause if the ride, i mean... movie, needs a little more excitement, you and your date can stick your hands out, grab the rocks...no, the sides of the theater. thus slowing yourselves down enough to jump into the unoccupied boat...i mean SEATS catching you from behind. (d-land needs to sell booze) -
Johnny Depp be werth yer ten and a half silver pieces.
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listen, geoffrey rush sucks. he broke out playing the part of a penis, i mean pianist and since then his best movie has been the tailor of panama.
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is the greatest adventure game ever made. Gary Coleman cameo to boot (Whatcha talkin' bout Guybrush?!). That series fucking ruled.
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Yeah, then in the end they return the cursed gold and become heavenly sprites living in the loving arms of the Lord. What a load of soft gooey crap. Oh well, my 3 year old might like it.
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Who'd have thought? Honestly, CRIMSON TIDE was a fluke. There's no way that fuck-head could have known he was making a good movie.
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Jan 15, 2003 4:17:29 AM CST
This is great news. I certainly wasn't expecting a masterpiece,
by a goonie
I love that aforementioned reference to the ride. The POTC ride at Disneyland is one of my favourite rides in the whole park. That, the Matterhorn and Snow White. Those fucking rule. And I hope this movie does too.
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1) The Dude Abides- sorry, but I must call you a dumbass, because the teacups were from the Mad Hatter's Tea Party in ALICE IN WONDERLAND. 2) For the record, ORLANDO BLOOM IS MINE!!! That is all.
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but i don't get that dog with the keys thing. That simply isn't funny is it? That one line sums up the tone of the film?
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This seems very Gilbert & Sullivan. The first paragraph has exactly the same plot as HMS Pinnafore. And I can just imagine where it will end up: The Pirates singing a chorus of "We are all noblemen who have gone wrong." (Pirates of Penzance). And Orlando will turn out not to be a poor orphan, but is really either someone rich and powerful in disguise (Mikado), or swapped at birth with someone who was (Gondoliers or Pinnafore again), so Josaphine or Yum Yum can marry him. Anyway, where does Mackenzie Crook fit into all this? THere's very little information on this around, but there's an interview with him on www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice in which he says he's playing a pirate, and does some sword fighting.
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don't center on a trite goddamn romance, but mostly on a rollicking ADVENTURE on the fightin' seas and it could be passable.
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OK so now that we have the goofy disney picture out of the way can somebody please make a gritty serious movie about pirates. I mean come on! has there ever been a Serious pirate movie. Something along the lines of the 13th warrior where people don't run around with strategically torn shirts and tight pants.
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The song from the ride is worked right into the narrative, and sung multiple times to boot. We've got a talking parrot, walking the plank, swash-buckling-a-plenty, it's gonna be a wild ride. Heh heh - no pun intended.
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The script was first written by Jay Wolpert (Count of Monte Cristo) and has been rewritten by Rossio & Elliot (Shrek), so to me that equals ACTION + FUN. Johnny Depp is giving a very unique and uncliched performance as a very different kind of Pirate. And so far, the FX Makeup for the skeleton pirates has turned out to be GRODIER and COOLER than the concept art. Mickey has agreed to let Gore go as far as a PG13 to allow for extra non-scooby doo style spookiness. Yes, I work for Disney, but I'm totally unimportant, and yes I'm biased, but I've never written to plug one of our movies before... so how's that for disclosure?
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stemming from the nonsense Ep. III story yesterday....Grando Calrissian and black lightsabers. If people start using these more and more on here, we'll know for sure.....
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http://events01.activate.net/buenavista/bvim/pirates_caribbean/trailer1-1500.asp
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...well somebody had to say it...
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I wanted it to be said ....it's to funny not to
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...does indeed rock the boat, so to speak. "Bring me more slaw!"
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You didn't just rip off my line did you?
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Jan 17, 2003 2:48:46 PM CST
Hey! "Cutthroat Island" was not that bad of a pirate movie!
by screenplaywriter
Sure, the acting wasn't the best, but so what, it had sword fights, gun fights, ship fights, and what a good pirate movie needs searching for buried treasure. I enjoyed the movie and still watch it till this day, but this thing looks to be cool, if they can make it into a PG-13 with Gore's touch like he did in "The Ring" and forget the stupid "Disney restrictions" this we'll be a classic of piracy/horror mixed.
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ooohhh,,, it sooooo perfect... first of course because johnny depp is one of the lead characters (i don't really care if he was just an extra... as long as i get a good glimpse of his handsome face!). playing capt.jack sparrow and all... he's so dreamy! plus orlando bloom is his sidekick (in a way) wow!!! i just can't wait... keira knightley has just got to be the luckiest girl.
the story looks good too......i just can't wait! :) -
i was perplexed (but not as perplexed as i was when i found out that the haunted mansion was gonna be a movie)! but then i saw the trailer, and i was like "holy shit i gotta see this". and of course someones gonna be like "we be pirates who sail the seven seas aaarg" and the whole dog and the keys thing is a reference to the ride. theyre probably gonna have all the pirates singing the "yo-ho" song after they do something piratey like and are all celebrating. this movie should be funny, and you cant spell funny without FUN!!! :D (muppet treasure island kicked serious ass though)
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Well.....i think it's gonna be great. All i need is Orlando Bloom to be in it. Oh, the cast and crew are great and I think they could make this movie work. How could you say it's bad when you haven't even seen it oh and it may be cheesy but I think we need that kind of romance right now instead of talking about war. How could you say Romance is cheesy? It is the best thing, better than war and hate that is. I know this movie is gonna be a hit.
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Well.....i think it's gonna be great. All i need is Orlando Bloom to be in it. Oh, the cast and crew are great and I think they could make this movie work. How could you say it's bad when you haven't even seen it oh and it may be cheesy but I think we need that kind of romance right now instead of talking about war. How could you say Romance is cheesy? It is the best thing, better than war and hate that is. I know this movie is gonna be a hit.
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This film will be extremely lucky if it gets a PG-13 rating!!!! It looks way too violent to be PG. Maybe Disney will have the first PG-13 movie with the Walt Disney Pictures Logo.
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1) There is no way in hell that Jerry is better than Peter at directing
2) The love part is only a sub-plot, you've got to go for the action.
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