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A review about TREASURE PLANET entirely in flatula!
Folks, Harry here, and now I've heard everything. Here's a movie that is reportedly saved and kicked into high gear by... MARTIN SHORT? Really? Has Martin Short been a genius since INNER SPACE or THE THREE AMIGOS? Well then, I remember liking Short a long time ago, maybe in animation he found himself. Happened with Robin Williams and Eddie Murphy. However, I'm dying to see somebody use GEORGE CARLIN!!!!! And just let him go!
Hey Harry, longtime reader who hasn't sent you anything in a while. Caught the first 'Dogma' screening a couple years back. Anyway, I caught a pass to a 'Treasure Planet' screening in Charlotte, N.C. Do what you will with this:
My expectations for 'Treasure Planet' were fairly low, as it seemed like a desperate attempt to find another idea by Disney. And i thought my suspicions were confirmed when one of the minor characters spoke in 'flatula,' which is exactly what you would think: he speaks in farts. Horrible, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE.
I sighed heavily and trekked on through the film, which follows an underachieving, but good-hearted troublemaker named James, who lives with his abandoned mother. (The film is set in some type of futuristing setting which is never really explained.) One day, a pirate named Billy Bones crashes his ship outside the restaurant James' mother owns. Being pursued by pirates, he leaves James with a sphere that contains a map to the treasure plant, which may or may not be a myth. James (voiced by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and family friend Dr. Delbert Doppler (David Hyde Pierce) decide to hire a crew and find the planet. The crew is led by Captain Amelia (Emma Thompson), who is not happy that Doppler hired a band of questionables as her underlings. In any case, James forms a bond with John Silver (Brian Murray), a cyborg who leads the crew of undesirables. Silver becomes torn with his mission to kill the captain, doppler and james, and get the treasure as he takes a liking to james.
So, what's good? About 30 minutes or so before the movie ends, just as everything seems to be getting boring, Martin Short shows up and kicks the film into gear. Short plays B.E.N., a robot stranded on the treasure planet alone for the last 100 years. part of his 'brain' has been removed, and he's ... a little crazy. Could have been a really annoying part, but Short, i thought was brilliant, and didn't tread into Jar-Jar territory. Some may think differently, but he had my laughing my ass off. Also cool was a creature called Morph, a cute little ball of goo that can transform into just about anything he wants. The animators made clever use of him, and you never really get tired of seeing him on the screen.
Gordon-Levitt does a nice job of keeping James from becoming an annoying brat, as is usually the case in films like this. Murray, Hyde-Pierce and Thompson are all very good. And Michael Wincott is once again underused (but still great) as a spider-like menace who is part of the crew.
The bad: not too much to say here, besides the horrible flatulent-speaking garbage. I will say that I hate how these cartoons use wonderful 3-D type animation that is just stunning, but then shift to stock, 2-D characters that look no different than they would in the 1960s. Just as in Titan A.E., it was a distraction for me. Oh well.
Overall, a suprisingly decent Disney movie that avoids some of the standard cliches that were constantly creeping into many of their films.
Anyway, do what you will this and, if you use it, just call me Lou C.
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Good God man.
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The Pirate flick should be fun, the animation looks great, the look of the 2D stuff is yer basic Atlantis stock, I do hope that it does well for the guys. I usually take in a Disney flick in the Theater ala the Trek ones, but it's now more outta obligations to their past feats, not the present day middling stuff. I hope it's better than it sounds.
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...dunno about you folks but I'm sure looking forward to "hip", CGI-laden remakes of "The Black Hole", "Pete's Dragon", and "Steamboat Willie", full of tit jokes and fart humor... not to mention the lame toys and tie-in merchandise that'll be littering up all-for-a-dollar stores for decades...
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...dunno about you folks but I'm sure looking forward to "hip", CGI-laden remakes of "The Black Hole", "Pete's Dragon", and "Steamboat Willie", full of tit jokes and fart humor... not to mention the lame toys and tie-in merchandise that'll be littering up all-for-a-dollar stores for decades...
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Nov 24, 2002 10:41:15 AM CST
morph! sounds like they ripped off the any-shape forming BBC kid
by mansep
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Wasn't this originally supposed to be out in June, but delayed for retooling (a la "New Groove")? I remembering reading somewhere earlier this year about two punk characters who didn't "test well" and had to be removed, in addition to tightening the story up quite a bit. And wasn't this originally being animated at a high-enough resolution for IMAX?
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"Hey, it would be funny if I stuffed a whole bunch of grapes in my belly button!" "Hey, why don't we have one of characters speak in farts? We'll call it flatula! HA HA HA, that would be so messed up!" "Hey, hey, let's call it shitula!" "Nah, the Disney guys would nark on us, man!" GOD, what a stupid idea to have a character speak by farting. But the animation looks good enough to warrant a movie ticket. Why does Disney feel they always have to pander to the little kiddies when they've been doing so for so long, and not do more movies like Lilo and Stitch? The little kid crowd is the ball and chain of the animation industry.
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The ball and chain of Animation. RE: Pixar. I love anything that comes out of Pixar but the kiddie motive is annoying. It ruins what they could possibly do. Here hopin that changes once Pixar LEAVES DISNEY! in 2006, yay.
But it speaks in farts? hahahahahaa I WISH I could do that. -
Treasure Planet was always meant to be a Thanksgiving/Christmas/ Holiday release. Their summer film was Lilo and Stitch, remember? No characters have been deleted, but some of the violence was toned down. And Dan, John Lassiter makes kiddie films because he LIKES making kiddie films. Stories like Toy Story, A Bug's Life, Monster's Inc. ALL originated from within PIXAR studios. It's unlikely that they will change the kind of films they make should they break with Disney in 2005.
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Nov 24, 2002 12:21:37 PM CST
Oh that's nice, kids all over the country will be making fart no
by bari umenema
Parents will be thrilled to hear little Johnny and little Mary doing fart sounds every waking minute. Farting at breakfast. Farting in the classroom instead of answering the teacher's question. Farting in the cafeteria. Flatulence will become the new schoolyard slang. Sure old Walt farted now and again after a hearty lunch of Irish stew but he never used it as a comedic crutch. Mickey Mouse never had to fart although his evil cousin Mortimer was known to let loose on occasion. Treasure Flatulence my ass.
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He's hiLARious on Primetime Glick. But yeah, I miss the good ol' days of Three Amigos.
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Nov 24, 2002 1:24:13 PM CST
How bloody orginal - Treasure Island in space has been done bef
by charlie & tex
...in Italy - Space Island. You haven't lived until you've seen the thing with this cast - Ernest Borgnine as Billy Bones, Anthony Quinn as Long John Silver & able support by Giovanni Lombardo Radice & the late, great David Warbeck. It's great fun, with a suprising amount of nastiness considering it's a kid's film (but then again, this was commonplace in Italian kid's movies). The only really bad thing about the movie is having to hear Quinn spouting the line "Yo, ho, ho & a fistful of druck!"
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I have seen about 30 minutes of Dream Works Sinbad and just comparing it to treasure planet I really prefer the look of Sinbad. (and this is NOT a DW bias cuz I work for them... I haven't even watched spirit due to my distaste). The look of Sinbad is great... amazing effects animation... the only downshot is the "Sam and Diane" relationship of Marina and Sinbad... their hateful lust quips aren't too funny... Hopefully sinbad will save DW animation... cuz I dont; know if any more traditional is in the works right now.
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Nov 24, 2002 5:28:32 PM CST
"follows an underachieving, but good-hearted troublemaker... who
by nazismasher
Bleh! so what else is coming out this week?
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Y'know, I'm not American, but it seems to me there are other nationalities that find flatulence to be a ripping good laugh. Check out http://www.mrmethane.com/ to see how high-class the Brits can be on this subject.
Everyone, read the original TREASURE ISLAND. It's like a 19thc Tom Clancy thriller. -
anyone else?
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I suffered through that film cuz my then 7-year old wanted to see it, and I thought, "ah, what the heck." Bored out of my gourd. Loud, noisy, not a single character you gave a shit about. Treasure Planet looks like more of the same. I'll try to con my son into doing something else instead of funneling my hard earned cash to the Mouse.
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"...he leaves James with a sphere that contains a map to the treasure plant..." Nice spellcheck, bitachi! Sorry, just had to go there.
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Looks like Disney is still trying to crack that Miyazaki nut (ATLANTIS was the first, and pretty ungood, attempt: i.e. a huge fantasy world with one humble character making their way through it.) Miyazaki's films work because there's a small character against a huge situation, and the resulting contrast helps give the character some depth. Disney has half of the equation (the big, weird world,) but keeps forgetting to make the main character interesting. Actually, I shouldn't say they forget altogether...EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE and LILO AND STITCH both had compelling (because they were flawed) lead characters, and the films not only benefitted from them, they practically carried the narrative. Haven't seen this yet, of course, but the trailer (and this review) make it look like more of the same: get a few names, give them little or nothing to really DO with their parts except be themselves, and have a goofy sidekick. It speaks volumes that I assumed this would be a middling release (ala RETURN TO NEVERLAND) until I saw the release date. This is gonna die a horrible and ignoble death.
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Far from perfect, but I was entertained. The icefields stuff was superbly done. As far as TP, I wish they would spend their time and effort instead to push Spirited Away, something that is truly special.
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but Spirited Away was not such a great movie (by Mayazaki standards) The animation was great but the characters were way too contrived and frankly, boring. It had its moments and I liked it for the most part...it still lacked. Mononoke set the high water mark. (and dont bring up MNT as being better...its not.) Actually it was nice to see Disney back an anime that wasn't targeted for the mainstream. do it again.
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Nov 24, 2002 10:52:51 PM CST
The fact that Michael Wincott is voicing one of the characters a
by elgyn6655321
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Great movie, one of Disney's best in recent years by far. I agree that Martin Short's robot character was great, but I found David Hyde Pierce and Emma Thompson's interplay to be funny and endearing, as well. All of the voice acting in this flick is terrific, the characters are all really well developed. It's just a well done animated film all around. And the "flatula" speak lasts all of ten seconds, so I can see how it irritated this reviewer so much...it's DISNEY, dude. Be thankful nobody burst into song (a Disney trend I'm VERY happy about).
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Ooog... Lilo & Stitch had me hoping that Disney was back on a creative roll, but that horrid line in the Treasure Planet trailer made me cringe with horror. Still,James Newton Howard's score will still entice me to see this (although after Solaris). And Martin Short was brilliant in Merlin. Seriously.
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I am American. And you know what; I agree with you whole heartedly. Movies and television shows in this country rely FAR to much on crude bathroom humor. I mean, we have an entire network over here almost entirely DEVOTED to bathroom humor. It's called Nickleodian. And as for sex; Well, I agree with you there too. We, as a nation, are FAR too uptight about even the idea of sex. Quite frankly, it annoys me. Unfortunatly, we're far too God Damn politically correct for our own good. We're constantly afraid we MIGHT offend someone. But, then again I find all the bathroom humor offensive so I guess Hollywood is scoring a big fat zero aren't they.
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Nov 25, 2002 2:30:42 AM CST
Now that you mention it, a lighthearted retelling of Frankenstei
by lenny nero
It wouldn't be faithful, but Goofy is the mack-daddy of animation. Do not argue. I am Lenny Nero. I like Goofy. He-hyuck!
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Well, the sheer fact of Michael Wincott, Martin Short and David Hyde Pierce being there might make me go see the film. No singing? Thank god for that! But still, gotta say that Disney has been producing dreck for a long time, Emperor's New Groove and Lilo & Stitch (somewhat) being the exceptions. ***Sherlock_Holmes: laughed my ass off at that! And cursed you at the same time, because if those Disney guys were given any ideas by your post and those movies come out in 2004 or something, I'll have to hunt you down and make you watch Atlantis and Hunchback of Notre Dame II on a continuous loop forever. ***And Flatula?!? WTF! Will Disney be bringing out a tie-in doll that'll fart when you press its tummy? Happy holidays, parents! We'll soon see a spin-off animated series on Nickelodeon or the Disney Channel called "Count Flatula", followed by a breakfast serial of the same name. Flavor: baked beans, coffee and broccoli.
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You're right! I looked back at my review, and i blew it! and i always laugh at people who spell horribly in their reviews. Guess I got what i deserved!!! sssiiiighhh. oh well. can i say that i wrote it fast??? no? ok. ..... i should mention that the one talk back was right: emma thompson and david hyde pierce do play well off one another, and the voice work overall is excellent. also, i have to admit: to the guy who questioned the 'go delbert' line ... it was actually quite funny to me in the context of the movie. ... and while the flatulence is limited (thankfully), it's still out of place, unnecessary and painfully unfunny.
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and where might such a dork as myself find a copy of said skit? Is it available on VHS or DVD? -- from one so dorky, when I say "Excellent" I'm referencing various Cyberleaders instead of Montgomery Burns.
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No heat from me anyway, it's cool even if we disagree. Your opinion is well thought out and rational. We can certainly agree on Mononoke though. It is indeed a high water mark of animation.
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saw the trailers for this & there was no reaction whatsoever from the audience. its going to suck big time. disney animation is too boring & lame.
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After seeing the trailers for the movie, I noticed they're not showing off ANY of the plot in the trailers. Yeah, it dosen't make the typical "geek" want to see the movie, it just makes the kiddies get all tripped out over the character designs. But, you guys have to remember, Disney is notorious for killing off it's titles with BAD advertizing campaigns. Trust me, I'm one if that bad campaign's victims. I don't plan to see it. It looks like one big can of stupid got opened all over it.
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Ok Mooncake, when exactly has an audience ever "reacted" to a trailer of a movie? You people just like to bash Disney, cause you think it's the cool thing to do: "Disney is lame. They are so unoriginal." And then once their new Disney animated movie comes out everyone ends up loving it and it goes on to make 100 million at the box office. You guys are the ones that are lame, instead of criticizing all the time, let's see YOU write an animated movie, or come up with an original idea. Disney may take the basic concept of a story but they still add new elements and twists to the story which make it their own, and they do it well. That is why their animated films are so popular.
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Ok Mooncake, when exactly has an audience ever "reacted" to a trailer of a movie? You people just like to bash Disney, cause you think it's the cool thing to do: "Disney is lame. They are so unoriginal." And then once their new Disney animated movie comes out everyone ends up loving it and it goes on to make 100 million at the box office. You guys are the ones that are lame, instead of criticizing all the time, let's see YOU write an animated movie, or come up with an original idea. Disney may take the basic concept of a story but they still add new elements and twists to the story which make it their own, and they do it well. That is why their animated films are so popular.
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I'm always a fan of Ron and John and this has been their baby for nearly ten years. They wanted to make it a long time ago but contractually had to do other projects first.
I think it's a successful film full of stunning visuals and unusually sophisticated characters, and the few "cute" or "gross" elements don't overshadow too much. Actually, in my opinion, Martin Short was one of the LEAST impresssive elements in the film. The greatest achievement is the character of Long John Silver, animated by the veteran Glen Keane. I was blown away.
I'm sorry that Disney has tainted the public with the cold-hearted "Atlantis", but this film is nothing like it, and those who will judge from the crappy TI trailers and don't see this film are missing out on a real, dare I say, treasure of a film. -
disney is not all that's left...
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