Movie News

More JURASSIC PARK 4 News Lurking In The Bushes!!

Published at: Nov. 13, 2002, 7:56 a.m. CST by staff

Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.

Right now, the majority of mail that I get regarding JURASSIC PARK 4 is along the lines of “Do we really need this?” Personally, I’m always up for watching giant dinosaurs eat stupid humans, but I do agree that the series seems to be creatively running in circles.

Still, as we get new info, we’ll run it, and we’ve got two tidbits today to help clarify what is going on over at Universal these days...

First up is “Brand Echh,” who went to see Jack Horner speak recently, and has this report as a result:

Harry, or whom it may concern,

If you must give me a name, call me Brand Echh, people who know me will know me, anyway, I attended Jack Horner's lecture "T-rex Predator or Scavanger: The Killing of a Legend" at the University of Texas at Brownsville and Texas Southmost College (UTB/TSC). Fun presentation, he made fun of the local college administration and made some thinnly-vielled jokes about his fellow paleontologists (like Robert Bakker).

For those who don't know, Horner was the technical adviser on Jurassic Park and it's sequels. Before the end of the night, in a q-and-a period, a friend of mine asked him about Jurassic Park 4. He said, "I've already done some work on it" but he added, "I suspect it is going to veer off in a direction that is a bit less scientific, so I'll probably only work on it for a little bit."

He suggested that he might have an experience similar to the one he had working on Disney's Dinosaur. He said, "I worked on that until the dinosaurs started to talk."

We tried to ask him later to be a bit more specific, but he declined saying he'd been instructed not to say anything.

Nothing mind-blowing, but an interesting tid-bit none-the-less I think.

Hmmm... this next guy sent me a letter to correct the report that ran last week in which the reader said they spoke to Sam Neill about his involvement in the sequel. This person’s definitely in a position to know if that is true or not, so it’s worth listening to what they have to say...

I’ve been a great admire of your work for some time, and I still think the way you got a hold of Anthony Hopkins On the Howard Stern show was very ingenious. I do take issue with some of the bad reporting I have seen on your site recently, and I figure that I could correct you on an story that originally ran on the Dark Horizons site and a couple of others before appearing on your site.

Sam Neill is not going to appear in Jurassic Park 4, and I do know this for a fact. I know that Sam Neill’s Character is not in the current script for the film. How do I know that? I can’t give that away, but I will give you a hint. The story will involve the United Nations, and the extermination of the dinosaurs. I can't give any more with out blowing my cover.

Da-Da.

Please, Da-Da? What if I ask reeeeeeeeeeeeeeal nice?

"Moriarty" out.





Readers Talkback

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  • Nov. 13, 2002, 8:02 a.m. CST

    UN Dinosaurs

    by EdHairless

    To see some dinosaurs chomp down on members of the security council only to have them put down by a heroic Saadam Hussein trying to get back into the good grace's of the world. Sounds interesting.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 8:03 a.m. CST

    What they should do...

    by holidill

    I know these are technically mammals but we need Sabretooth Tigers and Whooly Mammoths. I just think they would be cool chasing humans and attacking them.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 8:36 a.m. CST

    by marc1111

    while your at it stick a sloth and a squirell in there, be hilarious

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 8:41 a.m. CST

    DESTROY ALL DINOSAURS!

    by The Tao of Joe

    You know, this is odd. My idea for a forth, and probably final Jurassic park sequel was going to have a similar theme. it was going to be entitled Jurassic Park: DESTROY ALL DINOSAURS! It was basically going to be a conservative manifesto to counter all of the liberal 'we must not mistreat or kill these poor defenseless dinosaurs' mumbo jumbo that gunked up the last two JP films, especially the lost world. What these cornball liberals dont understand is that these things kill people, and that if they are allowed to live, they will get off the island, and take over the world. I am a liberal myself on many issues involving the economic, legal, and educational systems. I also favor a clean enviroment, but anyone with half a brain and a shred of sanity will know that these beasts need to die. THeir existence is a threat to the very safety of our earth. So come on, get a George W. Bush cameo arranged, and DESTROY ALL DINOSAURS. Come on, you know its a good title. ToJ-out

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 8:50 a.m. CST

    Yes! Yes!

    by Monkey Lover

    Damn, destruction of all the dinosaurs sounds like a bitchin' idea. It'll be like Reign of Fire, only good. They can have helicopters and shit get eaten by pteranadons and T-Rexes chomping down on tanks. Buzzin'! Jurassic Park is a great film.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 9:49 a.m. CST

    Can the represantative of Burkina Faso please speak louder?

    by Spacesheik

    JURASSIC PARK 4 - my advice ditch the "park," replace it with "City." Have the dinosaurs go apeshit in some major city. You guys remember that great movie Q - THE WINGED SERPENT about the creature atop the Empire state building killing people - well multiply that by 100 and call the movie JURASSIC CITY. Then you can throw in the UN and all that.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 9:53 a.m. CST

    DESTROY ALL HUMANS

    by wormaneed

    THE DINOSAURS WILL RULE THE EARTH AGAIN!!!!!!

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Huge Blockbuster!!

    by Bad Guy

    Let's just let Godzilla loose on the island, he'll take care of most of those dinos. Then we'll uneash Anakin Skywalker, Spider-Man and Legolas to clean up whatever is left. We'll combine all of these franchises and make the biggest box office moneymaker of all time. That's gold right there, baby! We'll find a way to get Harry Potter & Neo cameos, too!

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Jurassic Park 4: The Chomp of War

    by WeedyMcSmokey

    UN inspectors visit the destroyed shell of an Iraqi 'secret' weapons development facility - only to discover that Saddam has been toying with DNA and not the atom. Iraqi T-Rexs ignite World War III. Mayhem ensues until Dubya pilots a loaded F-22 into the heart of Saddam's Dino army and saves the day - "Nice shot Mr. President!"

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 10:15 a.m. CST

    What this franchise needs is...

    by Demon Disco

    Paul Verhoeven! Oh, yes indeedy! Let the prehistoric critters run amok in a city somewhere, throw in a whole platoon load o' soldiers with huge fuck-off guns and crank up the dino-chomping gore quota. It's Starship Troopers with dinosaurs! IT'S BUMS ON SEATS, PEOPLE!! Trust me -this would so RULE! Look at the man's back catalogue: Satire. Action. Expensive special-effects. Gallons of blood. The guy is the undisputed king of Grade A, un-PC, trashy, cartoony B-movie carnage-candy. Seriously -who wouldn't pay to see Jurassic Park go R?

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 10:17 a.m. CST

    No Sam Neil?

    by DoggyDaddi

    Fuck it then.. he is the only reason why I would go to see it.. if hes not there.. then neither am I

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Dinosaurs Join The War on Terror!

    by Zarles

    Set the fuckers loose in Afghanistan, North Korea, and Iraq, and then sit back and watch the theater fill up with bloodthirsty knuckleheads wanting to see some dinos chomping down on some terrorist ass. Paint the dinos red, white, and blue, and I DEFINITELY think we'd need a Dubya cameo in there somewhere. He'd love to be involved in stupid shit like this. The grosses from Titanic would look like popcorn money compared to how much we'd make on this one...

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 11:16 a.m. CST

    INSPECT ALL DINOSAURS

    by The Handsome 12th Doctor

    It's going to be set a few years after the last one, when the dinosaurs have claimed the island to be their own country, Jurassia. And they can all speak english, because as everyone knows *real* dinosaurs are intelligent and can talk. The UN get involved because they want to inspect the place - "We want to inspect the place" they say......... "Well you can't," says President Raptor "that goes against our civil liberties"......... "But we have to make sure you don't have any dangerous dinosaurs here"......... "We don't. All our dinosaurs make cakes and biscuits"'............ And then Dubya joins in "Listen Raptor, if you don't let us inspect you we'll go to war with you"'........... "Fine, but if you do that we'll set all our dangerous dinosaurs onto you. No wait. I mean, DAMN!"........... "AHA!!!!! Gotcha!"

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 11:35 a.m. CST

    J4: Moon Madness

    by grillskill

    I first came up with the idea of Moon Madness whil sitting through Lost World. All you need is Richard Attenborough in the trailer being interrogated over the previous incidents and he casually mentions that he also had a secret lab on the moon. A secret Chinese moon landing goes amok when they find an abandoned lab, and are then attacked by a new species designed for life in space, Moonasaurus. Steven Seagal leads a rag-tag group of Glouchester fishermen to save the Chinese Cosmonauts. The fishermen are made up of Michael Dudikoff, Joe Lara, Brian "Stone Cold" Bosworth, and Sammo Hung. Albert Pyun must direct or no deal Spielberg.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 11:38 a.m. CST

    by grillskill

    I forgot to mention that for obvious reasons that this time its personal for Sammo Hung.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 11:40 a.m. CST

    JP_is_great_comedy!

    by KONG33

    though_lame.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 11:42 a.m. CST

    Proposed titles for Jurassic Park 4:

    by rev_skarekroe

    Destroy All Dinosaurs, Dinosaur Conquers the World, The Dinosaur With The Atom Brain, Dinosaur 1972 A.D., Dude, Where's My Dinosaur, Breakfast At Dinosaur's, Buffy the Dinosaur Slayer, Last Dinosaur on the Left, A Connecticut Yankee in King Dinosaur's Court, My Dinner With Dinosaur, Dinosaur High School Forever sk

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 12:03 p.m. CST

    prediction...

    by Some Dude

    Sam Neil has said that he wasn't sure how the producers would get his character back to Jurassic Park, but that they did figure it out and it means trouble for the world. How could one or two dino-filled islands be trouble for the whole planet? My guess is that folks who went to the park picked up some dino virus that is beginning to spread around the planet. The cure is somewhere on the island. It's been done before, but this time there are dinosaurs. Hooray.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 12:04 p.m. CST

    Two words: sentient dinosaurs.

    by themikejonas

    Something tells me that the "brilliant" new twist on JP4 is thinking, talking dinosaurs looking to stage a comeback. Kinda like the Rolling Stones, but without the rock and roll.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 12:10 p.m. CST

    aliens=JP4

    by ZO

    thats how they're going to do it make it a total hunter turn into hunted type flick

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 12:10 p.m. CST

    Drop an A-BOMB?

    by LordWeymont

    Umm....a bomb is dropped and no more dinos?

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 12:22 p.m. CST

    Giraffic Park

    by durhay

    Story, basically "Die Hard on Earth": dinosaurs run amok after being brought to the mainline to make Bronto Burgers & Ribs more affordable. Scientists then discover that planets with dinosaurs are asteroid magnets so two space shuttles filled with civilians who know how to work a drill are sent out in space to blow up said asteroids with nukes. One goes blind and they play a sad song.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 1:50 p.m. CST

    poopy pants

    by STRIDER355

    First off...REIGN OF FIRE WAS GOOD! Movie ruled! And second of all. . .It saddens me to see that the dignity of the original has degraded to. . .well, what the franchise has become. But. . .oh well, it'll be a good popcorn flick.

  • "Brothers, which is the United Nations building and which is the island with the dinosuars on? I can't tell."

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Nuke em from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

    by empyreal0

    It's DEAD, already. STOP THE MADNESS! What, is this our latest Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the Thirteenth franchise?

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 2:24 p.m. CST

    PREDATOR VS. ALIEN VS. JURASSIC PARK

    by Bad Guy

    So, a ship full of the Predators comes to earth to hunt this "new" species that has popped up, in the last couple of years. Unbeknownst to the Predators, an ALIEN queen has stowed away on their ship (Note: This is also a sequel to the upcoming ALIEN VS. PREDATOR movie.) Anyway, the queen lays some eggs, a few raptors and T-Rex's are exposed to facehuggers and voila, an all new alien hybrid is born! It'll be like ALIENS, but with , er, uh... aliens... and dinosaurs! And explosions!

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Hmmmm.....

    by WeedyMcSmokey

    T-Rexs piloting F-22s woulod certainly spell trouble for the planet. "My god. They're smarter then we thought they were the last time we thought that they were smart - look out! Napalm!"

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 2:27 p.m. CST

    No, no, no.

    by Nordling

    JURASSIC PARK: ATE MILE. The story of a young Raptor who learns his place in the world set against the backdrop of the urban life of Detroit. Okay, I can't think of anything funnier right now, but I'm sure you all will come up with something. But come on. ATE MILE. That's funny, right? Please tell me I'm funny.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 2:43 p.m. CST

    Nordling - Ate Mile - Inspired.

    by WeedyMcSmokey

    Well, you begged for recognition....

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 2:47 p.m. CST

    Moriarty has a beer and cheets on the bomb in Sam Neil's rib cag

    by direktor

    sorry, i HAD to say that.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 3:58 p.m. CST

    Haha

    by MegaManML

    I just had to say that this is one of the funniest talkbacks I've evr read. Good stuff. Let's paint the dinosaurs red, white and blue!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 4:01 p.m. CST

    Extinction: Jurasic Park

    by KongMonkey

    In order for the final sequel to go over good, you gotta do something with the franchise they haven't seen before. No i don't mean bring Hulk Hogan in to get munched down by a dino. here's thigns tha've already been done. Big dinos munching humans: seen. Dino in a big city: seen. Big dinos clashing with each other: seen New dinos not found in the fossil record with incredible power: UNSEEN!! Come on. its a simple plot idea that makes since. The discovery of dino DNA. The DNA of not only known species, but unknown species. Bring on the completely classified speciman illegially cloned by a failing INGEN for profit. A carnivorous dino so huge that could bring down a brachiousaur in one bite. Something that could lift a tyrannosaur up in its mouth and launch him through the air. Bring back all the characters from the previous films, kill off a few of the unexpected ones like Grant or Malcolm, then have some surprise ending where the nuke launched to destroy the dinos inadvertantly hits some allies, causing WWIII and having the dinos actually taking over the planet. It would be totally unexpected and people will remember it and actually talk about it after leaving the theatres. Title: The Extinction: Jurassic Park.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 4:07 p.m. CST

    You bet Jurassic Park!

    by Nordling

    Dinosaurs with bombs in their rib cages and insatiable penchants for anal sex talk their other dinosaur brethren out of being extinct. Meanwhile, Malcolm drinks a beer and cheets on Alan Grant. Also, a cult is spraypainting

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 5:30 p.m. CST

    A good idea for JP4...

    by Horus

    is not to have Tia Leoni in it!Jesus..she had to be theee most annoying thing ever.Oh and actually having dinosaurs killing peaple might help.Biting them ,that is rather than twisting their necks!?JP3 was boring as hell..and I love dinosaurs!

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 5:31 p.m. CST

    The hills are alive... with the sound of dinos

    by The Handsome 12th Doctor

    I agree with KongMonkey that any new JP film should have things in it that we've never seen before. Which is why I propose it should be a musical. The T-Rex would naturally sing 'Ride A White Swan', the raptors would do an adapted version of the Blondie track 'Rapture', and the movie would end with a huge dance number where they all sing the classic Was Not Was hit 'Walk The Dinosaur'...... And it's title? Jurassical Music.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 5:36 p.m. CST

    Day of the Dino

    by spider-ham

    I still think JP 4 should go towards a Mad Max style movie. The world ends, humans struggle, and the dinos are off the island.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 6:08 p.m. CST

    Terminator 4 on Megiddo: Total Mutant Dinosaur Rehash

    by Alpha Zebra

    In the year 2003, machines from the future - manipulated by aging anti-christ Basil "Exposition" Stone - finally figure out the best way to stop the new Christ John Connor is to design sentient dinosaur robots, and it's up to Connor's pet robot Ah-nuld to team up with Dr. Alan (Foster) Grant, new adoptive parent to a pair of uber-cuddly eerily-smart tween orphans. Meanwhile, now-paranoid Ian Malcolm, figuring that mutants with superpowers are best way to fight the coming intelligent dino invasion, teams up with Eric Lehnsherr to perfect his Quaker Instant Mutant machine. "Fight chaos with chaos," Ian (Malcolm, not McKellan) reasons. Smack dab in the middle of the mutant/dino fight on the plain of Megiddo, Picard (in a plastic wheelchair, oddly), Data and Geordi beam down, phase cannons at the ready, about to blast everyone and everything until Picard suddenly realizes they're not supposed to fuck with the timeline. Quaid wakes up in his tin bathtub at the base of the Austrian Alps in the year 1975, realizes that if only he stays in Austria herding sheep instead of signing up to be the Commando the machines will kidnap to model their T100 after, this CGI nightmare future he dreamed will never come to pass. Fast forward back to 2003. An aging muscular shepherd in Vienna takes his sturdy gray-haired Teutonic wife of 25 years to the movies. Ah, what to see? It's all quality work. Not a mindless action picture or CGI-laden crap to be had. The shepherd and his wife settle on the film version of the Sam Shepard play "Buried Child". Life is good.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 6:16 p.m. CST

    Jurassic Park: Enter Carnosaur!

    by GenericGeek

    Directed by Roger Corman: magical CGI creatures vs. lame-ass oversized puppet, falling apart from too many sequels. Also, Nordling you forgot to throw Zombie Bruce Paltrow in your brilliant scriptment.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 6:21 p.m. CST

    I love the "Jurassic Park: In Space" idea!

    by Elgyn6655321

    BTW, remember how "JP3" was going to be "darker"?

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 6:34 p.m. CST

    Oh, damn it. Tao o'Joe, ya' stole my line.

    by McCormic

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 7:49 p.m. CST

    Jackass Park

    by Sofa King

    Dinosaurs eating people again, but his time doing really stupid shit that looks really painful in the process! They'll do stuff like the T-rex shoving Jeff Goldblum up his ass and the raptors running up to the stegosaurus and peeing on its leg!

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 7:57 p.m. CST

    The themes

    by WinSToN SMITHs

    Jp3 was originally going to be a prequel about the incidents that took place on the island that made it necessary for the events in Jurassic Park to take place. Then they had a script that might have been good about deaths in Costa Rica or somewhere, which seemed like the direction that the original book was going in when it ended. Then they fucked up and came up with the single worst idea possible. Some kind of straight to video looking bull shit family film directed by the guy whose only shining moment was designing Boba Fett's armor. What the fuck. The action scenes, which should've been the one redeeming factor, were totally ruined because that fucker has no clue how to create suspense or subtlety. Everything's just fast moving and ordinary looking in an attempt to make it more tense. Lucas syndrome. I love this series to death. Please God let this one not suck. Fuck Spiderman and Anakin and Legolas. Original Jurassic Park kicks all their gay asses. Though I must say, I got the new Star Wars DVD at three in the morning the other night and it's damned fun to watch. PS: David Koepp was the one who ruined the Lost World...

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 8:02 p.m. CST

    oh yeah

    by WinSToN SMITHs

    I forgot to mention: I think this guy who is saying it's going to be about the United Nations trying to destroy all the dinosaurs is totally full of shit. Hey, remember when they were going to make a Jurassic Park cartoon but Spielberg thought it was too serious for kids? That would've been nifty.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 8:16 p.m. CST

    "Jurassic City"

    by Three Quarks

    There are a lot of good ideas on this talkback(too many to list, but Jeff Goldbloom up a t-rex's dumper deserves mention) but I think I like "Jurassic City." However, considering the steadily declining quality of this series, it will probably more approprately titled "Jurassic Shitty." (Bad-um bum. Sorry, had to say it.) Oh, and Ralph McQuarrie designed Boba Fett.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 8:36 p.m. CST

    "Talking Dinosaurs Eh?"

    by GornPirate

    The Raptors evolve into Dinomen and they build a giant dinoship to take over the earth. But the all powerful..uh...UN..stands up to them with a group of elite Canadain Peace keepers.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 9:18 p.m. CST

    If you outlaw dinosaurs, only outlaws will have dinosaurs

    by SLEAZY DINOSAUR

    I'm not that interested in another one of these movies, but given my call sign, I had to make some kind of comment.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 9:28 p.m. CST

    JP4 after this no more.

    by SmartAss

    Listen atribiance or whatever your fucking name is! If you think we cause the deaths of the people of other nations, than why don't you go back at take a look at what the USA has done for the world. If you don't like America--than don't talkback on this site. Anyway a prequel like someone earlier posted is the way to go... Thanks! A proud American

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 10:15 p.m. CST

    I think it might just be psycological, but I think if Speilberg

    by TheGinger Twit

    I hope they do something different this time out.

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 11:34 p.m. CST

    Can we just have an all out dinosaur attack movie???

    by sundown

    hello, anyone see the Tops series Dinosaurs Attack? Just make it like that...have the Dinos over run humanity like they keep foreshadowing...make it post apocalyptic...or semi post apocalyptic...F22 vs real raptors and shit like that...eh just watch reign of fire...

  • Nov. 13, 2002, 11:44 p.m. CST

    So I'm watching this movie "Dinosaur" with my dog, right?

    by user id indeed!

    And I can't get over the talking dinosaurs. So I sez to myself, "These talking dinosaurs are getting on my nerves." And my dog goes, "I know! It's so stupid." Isn't that weird? I mean, I thought he liked that movie.

  • Nov. 14, 2002, 12:32 a.m. CST

    I want to contribute to this Jur-Wacky TalkBack!... Park!

    by user id indeed!

    My dog also had this to day. Now, hear me out. What if we take the dinosaurs, right.... are you following me? C'mon, now, focus....and the PEOPLE.... right? The people, and the dinosaurs, you copy, roger roger? Okay, so we take the PEOPLE... uh huh... and the DINOSAURS... yeah.... here we go... and we switch them. Did you hear that? That was the sound of you shitting your pants, just then! Did you hear it? It was all gross and ooky-sounding, like SHHHHPLUUUUUURK, only with more of a zing, like WheeeeeeSHHHHHHHHPLUUUUUUUURK. Clean yourself off, Asspants MacPoopshimself, and listen to the rest of this jaw-droppingly jaw-dropping twist on the tired dinosaur genre! It's called "People Park", and there are these dinosaurs back in 65 million BC, or something, and they take a mosquito.... from the FUTURE.... and they get ***PEOPLE DNA*** out of it, right? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah! There's an Oldmanasaurus with the future mosquito on his cane... his DINOSAUR cane, you see? He's an Oldmanasaurus! Chew on it! And he invites all these Dinoscientists over to his private corner of the Pangea, and they travel by helicopter, only it's actually a PTERADACTYL! Yeah! And they get there, and the Chaosaurus, that old Sarcastadon Rex, he says that people haven't existed on Earth for over 65 million years from now, and that life will find a way, eventually, though it will take a while. And those foolish dinosaurs don't listen to him! But they should've, because the power goes out on the People Fences! Because there IS NO POWER!!!! Because, it's back in the dinosaur ages, you see? And the Short Order Cook bursts out of his unelectrified bamboo cage, and it's made out of bamboo, right? And the wee Kiddysauruses are in their car... their DINOSAUR car, right? And the short order cook is mad, because since he's in the PreShortOrderCook Era he can't make food, and that's his calling in life, y'know? So he's stomping on the dinosaur car, and chewing on its dinosaur tires, when suddenly the Chaosaur invents FIRE (yeah!), and he distracts the S.O.-cook (shorten it for marketing, yeah!)just long enough for the kid dinosaurs to escape, only they DON'T, right? Because they're trapped underneath the DINOSAUR CAR!!! So the Chaosaur gets nudged into a prehistroic bathroom, which is an oxymoron, because there WERE NO BATHROOMS THEN! The dinosaurs were filthy degenerates, like the Mexicans, only less lazy! So the Chaosaur is laying in a big pile of other dinosaur dung (kinda like all that dung in your pants, Assy!), and he looks at the camera, and he says, "IT'S A LIVING!" And there's a foghorn then, and everyone laughs, because they have to. So then the Herodon pushes the kidasaurs off a cliff, and they all are safe when they get to the bottom, because they don't actually fall! Because there's no GRAVITY! Because it's in the Land Before Time and Gravity, you see? So the Short Order Cook flips them off and walks away. And then the Velocihumans, which are Cockney pub singers, attack them in the dinosaur kitchen (with dinosaur cooking utensils in it!), and they are saved when the Short Order Cook stabs all the Cockney pub singers to death with his future spatula, and they're all, "Oi!", and they die, because they were stabbed! And the helicopter takes them away from that corner of Pangaea,the corner that is now People Park, but the helicopter as actually a PTERADACTYL! Did you forget?! Don't forget! It's a pteradactyl! So they watch some pelicans fly by, and they're all exhausted and relieved, both simultaneously and at the same time, when suddenly one kidasaurus is all like, hey, there shouldn't be any pelicans! This is the DINOSAUR ERA, fer chrissakes! And they look over, and there is a wormhole that leads to the future! And all the dinosaurs walk into it, and it takes them really, really far into the future, and that's what happened to the dinosaurs! And the Short Order Cook evolved into monkeys, which evolved into people! This is easily the Greatest Story Ever Told. Put in on a lunchbox. And have that lunchbox hold a CANTEEN! But not a dinosaur canteen. Because there were no canteens then, you see? My dog pointed that out. Good Scruffy.

  • Nov. 14, 2002, 12:49 a.m. CST

    Jurassic Park 4 idea (problem with the series)

    by Jack Burton

    I like the title Extinction, although since its a video game it will probably never fly. But they need to stop pussy footing around and do what the series has been leaning toward: Earth being over run with dinos. I mean the T-Rex gets to San Diego in Lost World and wrecks all kinds of havoc (albeit Godzilla style ripoff) and they finally take it down. Next JP3 goes back to the island and all momentum stops until the final shot of the Pteranodons flying away from the island. There's the sequel hint right there (although I'm sure it will be abandoned). It doesn't have to be that complicated, these flicks aren't known for their deep plots. InGen or the other rival companies have been experimenting in the US or Europe or wherever and all hell breaks loose. So what if it's like REsident Evil or Aliens? It would be a blast to see a world wide battle against the dinos. Load it with action, and you've got a great summer block buster candy flick to end the series once and for all. It's the same problem as the Alien series. For some reason the producers seem freaking terrified to bring the aliens to earth when that is what everyone wants to see. The Alien series pretty much died (thankfully) because it wasn't going anywhere. I like the JP movies so hopefully they won't make the same mistake. One note: if Fox had some brains they would have started making the Alien movies based off the Dark Horse comics after Aliens. Newt lives, Hicks lives, and they battle the aliens for survival of our species after the aliens completely take over Earth. I would love to have seen that instead of the steaming pile of shit Resurrection. And what I can bet is going to be godawful Predator vs. Aliens.

  • Nov. 14, 2002, 1:41 a.m. CST

    Another Possibility

    by WayOutWest

    'Ate Mile' is good but I'm proposing 'Jackass: The Prequel'. Johnny Knoxville's great-great-great-....great granddad leads a group of happy go lucky dinosaurs across North America, performing silly stunts. Barbra Streisand and Winona Ryder have cameos - both get killed by a T-Rex with a penchant for anal sex.

  • Nov. 14, 2002, 2:04 a.m. CST

    three new jp sequel ideas!

    by UkeVenger

    ok ok first we have JPIV in which lots and lots of pteradactyls wreck havoc on los angelos cuz the end of JPIII was so lame with the whole i think theyre just findin a new nestin ground shit if they didnt follow through with that it would be even stupider. so ok pteradactyls in LA and this leads into JPV, because JPV involves the US trying to wipe out the dinosaurs and theres like a full-scale war and imagine how cool that would be! ok so the US wins and the movies over and then JPVI-- oh fuck it turns out there are still some dinosaurs alive after all. the US dumps a shitload of nuclear waste on isla sorna and isla nublar and the dinosaurs still living there that the US thought they killed get MUTATED by the nuclear waste and the result is these insaaane multicolored dinosaurs that probably have some sort of cool power or ability and for some reason or another (it doesnt matter as long as it doesnt involve kids in trouble) there are dinosaurs killing humans and whatnot. ooh and also in IV the genetic engineering company that created the dinos (its name has slippd my mind) admits to have been working on more dinosaurs (following thru on the spinosaurus thing and the line which makes me wonder what else the genetic engineering company has been working on...) and one or more of them should have vin deisel... yeah!

  • Nov. 14, 2002, 6:08 a.m. CST

    Planet of the Dinosaurs

    by IrvingWashington

    Charleton Heston plays the new CEO of InGen who is (as mentioned above, sort of) building a new Jurasic Park type theme park out in Space. He hires Palentoligist Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neil) and Chaotition Ian Malcom (Jeff Goldblum) to come check out his new state of the art facility. The space ship, piloted by Captain Leo Davidson (Mark Wahlberg) flies into a weird electronic field type thing, and then crash lands on a planet populated entirely by... Dinosaurs! On this planet humans are bred like cattle for food purposes, but Wahlberg, Goldblum, and Neil find out that this is really . . . EARTH only -- get this -- really far in the future and now the dinosaurs are in control! In the last scene, Alan Grant discovers the remains of Sadam Huessien's palace in Bagdhad, and uses Anthrax to whipe out all the dinosaurs. He then decides that the humans aren't worth it, either, and just kills everybody.

  • Nov. 14, 2002, 6:08 a.m. CST

    JP 4:THE MISSING LINK.

    by HakuKimoOpio

    Dear Mr. Spielberg & Amblin Entertainment., If was to make the next Jurrasic Park movie mines would be this and it's pretty mind blowing and may make or force Michael Chrichton to actually write it. Here it goes and I came up with the story. It starts in the remote part of Africa where Dr. Ellie Satler with her husband is investigating a fourth Igen site. Flashback to her at home with her son watching a poorly shot video. Wear hear offscreen the sounds of dinosaur screams and then to one that causes Ellie to scream as she something on tv screen she and she freezes. She grabs hold of her crucifix around her and says "Dear God no!". Cut two huge green eye on the tv screen. What happens next? I'm a starving, struggling screenwriter in need of work. Email at hakuKimoOpio@webtv.net and give you the rest of the story. Jr.Cortez/Nov.14th.,2002/Thursday

  • Nov. 14, 2002, 6:18 a.m. CST

    The ALIEN sequels died because they avoided Easrth. The did one

    by Spacesheik

    I hate it when movie franchises pussyfoot around major plot points (Aliens coming to Earth, Dinosaurs getting off the island to a city) and then abandon them for the usual cliches. Now we all know that GODZILLA was a stinking cesspool of a movie with a city that literally DWARFED Godzilla and one in which he used as a labyrinth to defend himself against the military attacks, notably helicopters. Big mistake. And it killed the movie. Godzilla is supposed to DWARF the city not vice versa. And the Alien people decided to do not one but TWO additional films, one in a penal colony with born again, skinheads battling the "demon" with torches and another one set in a space station with an uber genetically powerful Ripley and a rag tag group of smugglers. Had ALIEN III been set on Earth, it would have made $200 and revitalized the franchise. Ditto for JURASSIC PARK III (in a city), a shoddy looking, made for tv look that didn't help, but with some decent action scenes, but caught in a lightweight script/running time (85 minutes) with a bizarelly silly anti-climactic ending with the Marines landing (they dont even fire a shot). Where was the ending? Where was the climax? At least THE LOST WORLD had a climax with Raptors on the island AND in San Diego. The much heralded Dinosaur fight in JP III was around 15 seconds. The audiences wanted to see another exciting JP movie and they went out in drives to see it but overall were dissapointed. It made $185 million. Think of what it could have made if if was actually a decent movie, one with gravitas, tension, drama, horror, maybe set in a city - maybe $250 million. Are people really gonna spend $10 to see another movie with a group of scientists fighting shrubery and escaping dinosaurs on an island. I wouldn't. The franchise needs an enema, a new bold direction, and I don't mean "dinosaurs talking" - that would be ridiculous. Either set it in a city, like I said earlier, call it JURASSIC CITY a la Q - THE WINGED SERPENT (if you want a straight horror film with say a detective investigating sporadic dinosaur attacks) or go the bombastic GODZILLA way and set set it in city full of rampaging dinsosaurs. Either method works for me, but the locale should not be an island. It will cost money though and knowing the law of diminishing returns of the JP series I doubt they would spend $120 million to make say $150 million (if they're lucky). Frankly, my favorite is still THE LOST WORLD, not a perfect movie, but dark enough for my sensibilities. They missed a great opportunity in THE LOST WORLD to turn it into a HATARI type hunters versus dinosaurs flick; Pete Postlethwaite was great, a Spielber character closer to Robert Shaw's Quint than any other, his potential was missed. He just walks off at the end of the film. That character had a complexity., wisdom and grim determination that was welcome in a franchise of this sort.

  • Nov. 14, 2002, 10:29 a.m. CST

    user id indeed!

    by WeedyMcSmokey

    I am beginning to collect investors for your film - sorry, your dog's film. I think with a few minor additions of explosions we'll have a guaranteed hit - or at least something that will allow us to buy a shitload of blow and soild gold shoes.

  • Nov. 14, 2002, 5:34 p.m. CST

    I like Jurassic Park movies

    by Lord Shatner

    Them dinosaurs blowed up real good

  • Nov. 14, 2002, 6 p.m. CST

    beating a dead horse

    by midwat

    How many sequels do they need? They've covered all the angles really possible with the story. What else can they do? They've gone to the island, they've faced off in the city (see the slapped-together end of Lost World), they've done everything except face off in space. The series has had good moments, but isn't there another feature that could benefit from the untold millions that will be sunk into this project?

  • Nov. 14, 2002, 9:32 p.m. CST

    Sleastacks!

    by Evil Chicken

    The military application for dinosaurs would be too great to pass up. Samples are taken off of the island and bada-bing! The dinosaurs get another chance to rule the world. This sets the stage for JP5, where Marshal, Will and Holly meet the Sleastacks.

  • Nov. 14, 2002, 10:13 p.m. CST

    ...has everyone forgotten?

    by tritium

  • Nov. 14, 2002, 10:17 p.m. CST

    ...has everyone forgotten?

    by tritium

    Rembemer in Jurrasic Park when Newman gave the stolen embryos to the Ingen competitor. Rembemer, they where disguised in a shaving cream can. Anyways...perfect opportunity for a sequel with real continuity and plausibility. What if this Ingen competitor was trully evil...and was genetically modifiying the Dinosaurs for enhanced intelligence. Kinda like "the Company" in Alien, wanting the Alien for its Bio-Weapons program. So this evil group is full of anarchists and terrorists...breeds a ton of these bad motherfucker dinosaurs, and sets them loose in NYC. Come on...this would be a cool plot...huh, right, come on.

  • Nov. 14, 2002, 11:15 p.m. CST

    two words.... Cadillacs and Dinosaurs.

    by compn

    there ya go. make C&D into a movie. screw this jp shit. the books were great, but they just butchered them to make movie money :(

  • Nov. 19, 2002, 10:15 p.m. CST

    CAPTIVATING

    by TomVee

    Spielberg could always cast Kate Capshaw as a whiny naturalist who talks the fucking beasties to death.

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