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Massawyrm Spills Some Blood Over The JASON X DVD!!
Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
I was sent a test disc for this title but can’t review it for reasons that become obvious as you dig into the supplemental stuff. In a documentary called “The Many Faces Of Jason Voorhees,” I am one of several people interviewed on-camera. It’s surreal for me to look at, and I’ve decided to have a contest as a result of watching the documentary: guess how many gallons of nacho cheese my giant Macy’s Day Parade Float Head ™ can actually hold. Still, the humiliation’s worth it, since Joe Bob Briggs, one of my heroes, is also in the documentary.
Massawyrm apparently also saw the disc and liked it quite a bit. In fact... maybe too much... read on and you’ll see what I mean...
Hola all. Massawyrm here with a look at today's fun as all hell DVD release "Jason X". Now right off that bat I was interested in checking this out as it's a New Line DVD and, well, New Line is one of the only 2 companies out there that really have a grasp on how to release a DVD right (the other being Universal). Sure some of the other companies have put out some sweet DVD's, but they're just not constant. A great one here, 10 bare bones there. Now while Jason X isn't exactly overflowing in features, what it does have is all top notch.
There's of course the usual stuff: The trailer, trailers for other New Line horror films (sadly only 3, but one of them is Nightmare on Elm Street, and despite the fact that I already have it on 2 other discs, all the talk in the documentaries of Freddy vs. Jason gave me the hunger to watch it and Bam! there it was) and commentary.
But then there are 3 other features that really sell this thing. First and foremost is a 30 minute documentary on the history of Jason Voorhees called appropriately enough "The Many Lives of Jason Voorhees". Now this was quite simply a great documentary that really gets to the roots of the mythology and history of Jason as told by series creator Sean S. Cunningham, Kane Hodder and a whole slew of critics and fans, most notably the king of low budget film critics and patron saint to geeks everywhere, Joe Bob Briggs, Mark Borchardt and Mike Schank (of American Movie fame) and of course AICN's own Drew McWeeny AKA Moriarty. Some really great things escape the mouths of the critics. Mike Schank manages to prove yet again why we find him so damned amusing with the statement "I think horror movies are cool because only cool people watch them - I think." Moriarty manages to smirk his way through his interview while comparing the Friday the 13th series to Greek tragedy. And Good ole Joe Bob steals the whole show with such statements as "Freddy is the smartest monster of all time and Jason is a mongoloid. How fair a fight can that be?" All in all its a delightful documentary that covers the whole history, from its creative inception all the way up to Freddy Vs. Jason. Coupled with the movie, this makes the disc worth owning alone. But wait, there's more.
There's also a 15 minute documentary on the making of the film that skips the usual 30 minutes of DV that the directors wife shot during the filming that comprises most similar making of's and rather focuses on the make up, costuming and gets fairly technical discussing and illustrating the notions of green screening and digital transfers and editing. While not as engrossing as the "Many Faces..." Documentary, this is a cut above the usual making of's and is something many folks will actually watch more than once.
And finally there's the feature that really sold me on this disc. "Jump to a Kill". Now I had dinner two weeks ago with Harry, Father Geek and Johnny Wad after a very enjoyable screening of below. During the dinner we had a great discussion on Horror films and Harry joked "You know what I want. I just want a tape of all of Jason's kills. Just the money shots. Not the movies, just the kills." We all went off on the notion as "since there are 4 hour tapes of sexual money shots, why can't we get one of the slasher money shots?" Well, it seems that New Line beat us to the punch...almost. While Jason's entire bevy of kills are not presented, every Kill in Jason X is. And you can select exactly which kill you want to see. The Whole kill, without any of the frills. Select a character and watch 'em get their's at the hands of Jason. And if you're the type of fellow that isn't bogged down by the necessity of silly things like Plot or character exposition, you can actually watch the whole film, in sequence, with all of the boring parts taken out. Just the kills. In order. Right down to the last scene. Hell, I watched that feature 3 times last night alone.
Nothing like a little bloodshed cut neat and clean together to make a night complete.
All in all this was a great fun DVD that's definitely worth checking out. And hey, if any of you are bored enough to bother cutting together that "money shot" tape and want to send me a copy, hey, I'll proclaim you my new best friend or something.
Until next time friends, smoke 'em if ya got 'em. I know I will.
I’m not going to tell you what we did after that dinner conversation, no matter how much you ask, but I will sell you the photos for $30 each.For the record, Massawyrm’s on crack, and I don’t mean mine. Fox and Anchor Bay are just two of the DVD teams also doing an exceptional job with special features, I think, and it’s important to give credit to ALL the companies who actually get it right so that other companies will follow suit. Wade through those BUFFY or SIMPSONS box sets some time, or some of the excellent sets from A&E or Pixar, and tell me that only Universal and New Line have their shit together. It’s an increasingly competitive field, and the consumer wins. Vote with your dollar, right?
"Moriarty" out.
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This moron had to be giving someone blowjobs in order to get his crap pretentous reviews posted on this site!
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Jason X was a cool film. Beginning to end. I am getting mine today. What was that about commentary? Is there a commentary track? I thought it was not getting a commentary track.
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The borings parts comment was sarcasm...I loved Jason X, said so in my original review.
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Oct 08, 2002 8:54:58 AM CDT
Jason X was the best and it was due to Kane. It's sad that N
by regicidal_maniac
http://www.PetitionOnline.com/nlckane/petition.html
Kane Hodder needs your support. -
Maybe they do good work on other DVD's, but the second season Buffy box set ain't one of them. Sure, the menus are kinda nice, for all their bad CGI-ness, but the extras are sorely, sorely lacking and the episodes don't even have the decency to consider the credits a single chapter (as the first box set did), meaning you can't just skip the titles, you have to fast forward your way through.
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Why a money shots video? Thats crazy! I fucking love the Friday franchise, and would never want to just skip through everything to get to the "money shots". Thats like skipping dinner just to get to dessert. It will make you sick. If you want a film of nothing but money shots, seek out Terror in the Isles, or even Boogymen. When you take away the meat, geuss what, it's not scarry. Well, I know they really aren't scarry, but after a while, its not even fun to watch. Gotta go to work.
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OOOOHhhhhhh! hehHAhehAhHaheHeHaHahAHHAHAH! Oh! ....My! Thanks, thanks, for that. Everytime I hear it, I'll laugh.
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Oct 08, 2002 12:49:49 PM CDT
Somebody explain the 'ZOMBIE BRUCE PALTROW' thing to me
by iamjack'suserid
I just don't get it.
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....was hysterical, especially the whole "Crystal Lake on the Holodeck" scene. If you're going to beat a relatively dead franchise with it's own appendages, you might as well have fun while doing so, and they did. Also notable for the inclusion of Hot SciFi Chicks in key roles! // e.
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This film IS fuckin' dire. It's nearly as bad as Boat Trip, and that's saying something. Harry you sell-out bitch...
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It was garbage.
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Oct 08, 2002 2:37:20 PM CDT
Remember when AICN would actually review good movies on dvd. He
by zod_is_back
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are so daring and bold! They inspire me to break through my inhibitions and get in touch with my inner 13 year-old web-chick.
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Oct 08, 2002 5:08:14 PM CDT
Just Passed on This At The Video Store... Did I Judge Too Soon?
by nocureforfools
so, is this Jason X really that good? i mean, i understand it's low brow dumbass stuff, but is it good lowbrow dumbass stuff? are the killings cool? is there tons of gore and gratuitous nudity? is at as funny and satirical as, say, Return of the Living Dead? or is it funny because it's so terrible? help a guy out here! man, i really, really miss the heyday of 70s-80s gorefests... there is something so pure and perfect about the absolutely creepy ineptitude of a really good low-budget hardcore splatter movie... from the bad acting to the lo-fi synth music, to the watermellons being hit by sledgehammers as sound effects that these new slick films just can't hold a candle too...
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I don't know how much similarity exists between the Jason flicks and Greek tragedy (maybe M is talking about rigid formulas), but I've always said that there are some references to "Beowulf" in the first film. All my film nerd pals laughed at me, but I knew I was right. Then Jason X had to make it obvious by naming the spaceship "The Grendel."
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I saw it in the theater and then again today on video. It's mindless stupid fun, but not a good movie. It's decent in the way Army of Darkness is, so cheesy and bad you just have to be entertained. And there's one kill toward the beginning that competes with Jason smashing the sleeping bag chick against the tree in Part 7 as the greatest Jason kill ever.
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Damned retards. It's not supposed to be funny. Stop trying so hard to find humor in horror.
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turn your eyes towards Japan. THE SUICIDE CLUB, AUDITION, THE RING, UZUMAKI are all fantastic (though UZUMAKI is more on the surreal and humrous side). you could argulably include BATTLE ROYALE in this mix, but i'm not sure if it really qualifies as a horror film... it being more like LORD OF THE FLIES than anything... hmm, i guess that sorta falls within horror... psycho-thriller? social satire action? hard to place it exactly. anyways, the last few years of Japanese cinema, specifically the horror genre, have been absolutely amazing, truly werid, truly horrifying. with the exception of the good, but highly overrated Blair Witch Project, there hasn't been a good horror film out of the US for ages... okay, Silence of the Lambs was great, but that's about it... i guess i have to rent this Jason movie just to see it now. i really like the idea of a "kill real" funciton. that would be great to have on a loop at a club. even better than that would be a kill loop of all yer favorite splatter classics -- Texas Chainsaw, Romero's Dead films, some Argento, etc... but anyways, nothing has freaked me out on a gore level more in the past 10 years than the mother in SUICIDE CLUB slowly and mehodically cutting her fingers off with a butcher knife.
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Mad MAD props to Kane Hodder for sporting that Psychopathic Records hockey jersey in that little Jason documentary that's on the DVD.
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My main problem: Not scary. It works better as an action movie than anything else, but as an action movie, it's pretty lame. It adheres too closely to the franchise elements to actually work as a comedy, although its best moments are its comedic ones. It had enough bad puns and witty moments (the holodeck one alone is worth the rental price) to qualify as servicable entertainment, but after all the accolades you guys are giving it, I've got to say it was pretty disappointing.
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These are the only two good movies in the series... after these 2... everything went to sh#t! Also I thinking a collection of horror movie "money shots" is the most f#cked up thing i have ever heard of.... u watch scary movies to be scared... not to be ... hell i don't know... just sounds like a tape u would find in Ted Bundys collection...
(This Jason X review is wayyyy tooo biassss)
P.s. Anchor Bay is doing a great job with horror movies... gotta love Italian Horror Masterpieces! -
ARMY OF DARKNESS wasn't bad or cheesy, it's a fucking CLASSIC!!!! And your comparison between it and JASON X is utter bullshit. ARMY OF DARKNESS was cheeky and camp on purpose, and fucking funny as hell while it was doing it whereas JASON X was just plain bad due to complete incompetence. Do not besmirch the holy name of ARMY OF DARKNESS on an AICN talkback or Harry will send Jay and Silent Bob to ypur house to go all 'Magnolia Fan' on your ignorant ass.
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Folks, this "Jump to a Kill" thing isn't that new. It's a New Line thng. Pop in one of the Nightmare movies and check out the "Jump to a Nightmare" section. Oh, and I think the funniest thing on the net is when people sign those online petitions, which exist solely to make people happy. The people they are intended for would listen more to a petition written on a soiled piece of toilet paper before they would bother with an online petition. Signed, Bob Market, Lee Rice, George Jennings, and Harvey Ottweiler (I just made those names up; see what I mean?)
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Hi...long time FT13 and Jason fan. Have them all on VHS (what is VHS?). Gone out as Jason for Halloween. I enjoy FT13 because, unlike MANY other movies who claim to be "real" and try to fool you with the plot, FT13 does not. They says, here is a horror/gory movie about a guy in a mask killing people...and that is exactly what you get. I go in with expectations except to see people die in clever ways and I get it. I went into Star Wars E1 and E2 with expectations because Lucas shoots his mouth off...and does not make the bar. I never heard anyone making Jason X saying this movie will win Oscars. That aside, I just watched Jason X for the first time on DVD. I thought it was quite good as FT13 movies go. Unlike other FT13 movies where everyone gets killed off and have no idea what is going on, Jason only kills one person (the chick in the lab) before EVERYONE on the ship knows he is there and wants to kill them. He looks great and Kane Hodder does a great job. Cyber Jason was a funny addition. I would rank this one 3rd behind part IV and III. I also liked part VII, not for the plot or the acting, but the look of Jason. For those of you who have never seen a FT13 and are thinking about it, watch part one because it was the first. I find it boring and slow. Skip part two...although it has its moments. Watch part III and IV, they are the best ones. Skip part five...not even Jason. Part VI is ok...not really necessary. Watch part VII for the cool looking Jason and skip the rest. Never watch "Jason Goes to Hell". Brutal. Anyway, I went into JX with no expectations and came out liking it.
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Hi...see my last message...long time Jason fan. Beyond a doubt, Kane is the best Jason but he is not an actor in the real sense of the word. Yes, he can act because it takes a character that does not speak and has no facial expressions and gives him life and feel BUT it depends on where the writers of Jason vs. Freddy want to go. If they want Jason to actually talk and they are going to have this in a dream sequence where Jason is totally human (ie: no mask, no scars, like he was before Part II), then Hodder would not work. Perhaps the best idea would be to have an actor play the speaking role of Jason and Hodder to play any parts where we see the hockey mask, cut up Jason. Everyone should wait to see what the story is before commenting.
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Hey AlanOrmsby,
1) It was Corey Feldman who killed Jason in Part 4.
2) Kane didn't appear as Jason until Part 7. The actor who played Jason in Part 6 was a guy named CJ Graham. A few years ago I learned he was working as a security guard at a riverboat casino in Iowa.
3) Part 4 has some kick ass gore, but if we could see either Part 6 or Part 7 uncut, then they would definately be THE installments. -
Even though I feel that Part 7 had the lamest ending in the series, the FX job done on Jason was beautiful.
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How can you keep straight which F13 movie was which? I remember the first two, then they're all a messy blur. I didn't realize movies had plots once the series passed three movies. And I agree with all the folks who don't give a shit who plays Jason - does it really matter which thespian dons the hockey mask and plays with the rubber, bleeding knife? Can you really tell? I dig campy horror because it IS funny, and I don't understand how anyone old enough to sleep with the lights off can actually be scared by these movies anymore. And Busta Rhymes should've stuck to the Mad-Max style Sprite commercials, they were his true calling in life.
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Oct 10, 2002 11:19:57 AM CDT
Kane Hodder has NO scheduling conflict. He IS being shafted. In
by regicidal_maniac
Kane had a sitdown with the director who was fine with him playing the part, but the studio decided to go a different way. Communication between him and the studio has been shut off. They said they were going for a closer physical match to Robert Englund who stands 5'10" to Kane Hodder's 6'3" then they go and cast
Ken Kirzinger who stands 6'5". That means he's taller than Kane in case you can't figure out the measurements. Kane Hodder is indeed getting shafted by New Line and after he performed so well in Jason X. In the words of Elmo "who does your research" AlanOrmsby? Now here's my reasons why the F13th series is fun to watch: Part 1 because it's the first. Part 3 because Jason picks up the famous hockey mask. Part 4 because Jason finally gets killed dead. Part 6 because Jason is accidentally, frighteningly/hilariously reanimated. Part 7 because of Kane Hodder and that amazing makeup job. Part 8 because of Hodder again, and the trip to New York is a journey to be enjoyed, enjoy the journey. The first and last 5 minutes of Part 9 are okay. Part 10 Jason X was the most fun of the lot. It had Kane Hodder doing his 'breathing thing', the impact of which upon the character you naysaying trogs will just never understand. It had loving jibes at the previous movies. It embraced the inherent cheesiness of the series concept. It had one-liners that hit their mark and effects that are a standout for the series. UberJason. Space. Marines. Androids. So Cool. If you don't like these movies, fine. I'm not trying to change your mind. But to underestimate the impact that Kane Hodder's performance has on the role of unstoppable killing machine zombie freak Jason Voorhees illustrates one of two things, that you're ignorant or stupid. (The term stupid here applying only to the realm of your stupidity with specific regards to the Friday The 13th film series only and is in no way a judgement on your actual intelligence quotient or an implication that you are in fact a retard or indeed in any way a mongoloid). Kane Hodder for President. -
I would have to say the self-aware Post Modern Friday films are my favourite. I also enjoy over-intellectualising slasher films.
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I watch Friday the 13th films for the great acting, dialogue, and storytelling. I've been trying to get the Academy to listen to me for years. But will they listen . . . . NOooooo
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Army of Darkness is ten times the film JASON X is. U (Look; I'm so fuckin' righteous with that "U" shit) guys must have none-existent IQ's. How can you defend this crap even as a "dumb fun movie"? It's bad as in, WANK. AVOID...
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Yeah that bit at the end of Part 8 where the toxic chemicals that flow through the New York sewerage system turn Jason back into a little kid was pretty lame. I tend to just ignore it, or attribute it to a toxic chemical induced hallucination. Yeah that's what it was.
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Oct 10, 2002 10:55:34 PM CDT
Eyegore - you say "stop looking for humor in these films". Um
by elgyn6655321
For the record I thought "Jason X" was awesome. And no, OF COURSE it`s not supposed to be scary - it`s friggin` JASON on a SPACESHIP for pete`s sake! I saw this movie in theaters, loved it, bought it Tuesday when it came out on DVD, and I`ve watched it every night since. And no, in case you`re wondering, I don`t get laid very often.
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No good horror films out of America in ages? Dude have you seen "Session 9"?
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Oct 11, 2002 9:29:57 AM CDT
AlanOrmsby, Zombie Bruce Paltrow's schedule is booked up thr
by utellemstevedave
The new guys always tend to get a lot of work the first couple of years.
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There IS a running commentary on the disc. The two documentaries were at best uneven. Far too many shots from JASON X and not nearly enough from the previous nine films. The guy in the Davy Crockett hat is simply horrendous. he is scarier than Jason, who by the way isn't scary for one fucking second in JASON X. I think I understand now why Mr. Hodder may not be appearing in the next JASON. He is boring as all hell. The film is also some new kind of low in the series. It appears there is not a legitimate actor among the entire cast, and the plot is from hunger. All the great CGI work gone for naught. Two great kills but no suspense and some of the worst music ever heard in any movie, even worse than the PUPPETMASTER soundtrack.
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"New Line should get Zombie Bruce Paltrow for the role. He rocks."
Stop, for the love of heaven! Paltrow is now worm food. He can't hurt you any longer! And Duckface will soon be blowing in the wind, once she hits 35 or so. She ain't exactly a great actress, and those looks will wither away soon enough. -
The absolutely best JASON flick has to be the one with Corey Feldman besting the hockey-masked tower of power. That was Part 4, as I recall. The usual boring teen-slaugter crap was redeemed by a wonderful, kickass ending that the producers then tried to recreate, not nearly as successfully, in the next installment. Part 4 is the only installment I own on video. My kids have fondness for JASON TAKES MANHATTAN, mainly for the boxing match with the black guy.
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what happened to cort(tom fridley) a.k.a. Cork! he should be in space after all he did get stabbed with the fake rubber knife also his rv should have been there spaceship with the animal song playing in the background and the rv bumping that would have been a good movie(if you watch jason lives at the rv part go in slow motion to see cork as a girl)
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I am no vi
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im mr no vi i think harry knowels is a fat guy nd he should go on the slim, fast diet why should we trust him he might eat us
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Jason X ? Why not Jason xXx!
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At least he got some hot tail before he got killed.
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