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A Reader Reviews The THUNDERBIRDS Script!! Is It A Go'!
Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Great story for how this guy got hold of this script...
... but, unfortunately, I can’t tell you. Instead, le me just hand you over to today’s spy:
Hi Harry,
I'm an avid reader of your site! - I've always loved movies and anything to do with them! - I can't say I always agree with your reviews, but they're never dull and a hellovalot
more honest than many others who do the same thing!
I recently [story deleted to protect the almost innocent] and ended up with two scripts!! One was a new script by Richard Curtis called LOVE, ACTUALLY... dated 17 June 2002, (I haven't read that one yet, but it looks like Four weddings / Notting hill all over again!) but the other, is the script for the new THUNDERBIRDS movie!!
Now I don't know how big THUNDERBIRDS is in the US, but It was HUGE here in the UK - massive in the 70's (I watched it when I was a kid) and huge again last year when Carlton re-released them all over again on DVD)... The Tracy brothers and their fantastic Rescue Machines, Brains, FAB and all that stuff... all in glorious Technicolor! - (sigh)...I couldn't wait to read this... the thought of seeing all those characters on the big screen, updated and refreshed, with massive leviathan CGI ships and heart-stopping action, just had me drooling!
Well, the working draft of the movie (please God LET it be a working draft), is pretty bad.... think Spy Kids,without the clever story and pacing and with a camp Benny Hill kind of humour.....
The story revolves around a young Alan Tracy, his friend Fermat (The son of Brains - I don't really know how he came about, Brains doesn't have a wife or girlfriend in the
script - maybe its a test-tube or cloning thing?) and the young Tintin (the daughter of Jeff Tracy's faithfull manservant, Kyrano)
The kids are left stranded on the island when Jeff and the older boys Scott, Virgil and Gordon (main characters in the TV show, who seem to have about 15 minutes screentime in the whole movie!) fly up into space in Thunderbird 3 in a panic after an explosion on TB 5, (leaving the island somewhat stupidly deserted), and are then are stranded, floating about on the station in outer space for pretty much the whole movie....
Of course, It's all a trap by a ridiculously camp bad guy - 'super criminal' Aristotle Spode.. (he's a Brit of course- I Imagined Terry Thomas from his dialogue ) and his stupid henchmen,,, who wants to steal the Thunderbirds machines to commit super crimes. (apparently) He can't be too clever, as the chances of planning and executing a cunning superheist in a 500 foot bright green rocket ship, sound pretty slim, and even if he got away with it once, the chances are the ship would get blasted out of the air by the Airforce the next time it left the island....
.... so (sigh), anyway, It's up to the kids... oh and a super sexy Lady Penelope who reads in the script like an upper class Barbara Windsor:
(Sample:)To the principle of Alan's school, trying to talk him out of a bad report:
LADY PENELOPE
(Sotto voce/Sexy)
Actually, do could have a moment of your time... there's something I'd like to raise with you.
The principal's eyes bulge hugely.
That's about as good as the script gets... no, really.....
Another sample, after Spode captures Tracy Island:
SPODE
Mullion, draw me a bath...
MULLION (his henchman)
Well, it's sort of this shape... and the faucets at this end.
Aristotle sighs wearily.
Actually so did I at that point.. and skimmed the rest, What was going to be a hour or two to savour turned into a disappointing waste of time.... no real big set pieces....
no massive accidents putting the lives of thousands in Jeopardy.... no... bloody... RESCUES!!!
That's what it was all about in the TV show wasn't it??? - THEY'RE CALLED INTERNATIONAL RESCUE!!! - THEY RESCUE PEOPLE WHEN NO-ONE ELSE CAN HELP!!! They don't rush off and leave their base unnattended!!! ...AND, they can create all these supercraft and their super advanced base, surely they can come up with an anti-inturder system that could detect a submarine..or at least something that cen tell them that an enemy's transmitter is broadcasting from it's hiding place on TB1?..oh come on guys!!
Let's face it it would have always skewed young, the whole thing was always a little silly, but what about all those kids in the 60's who loved this show and how have now grown up? (like me!) What about THEM???
It could have been a family movie with a sly adult touch... Shrek did it! Toy Story did it.... both these movies didn't treat their audiences like brainless morons.
The script is written by William Osborne... (I don't think I've heard of him... his name sounds like I should have).... he's killed it for me.... I hope Working Title read this, then throw the horrible mess out and start again.... this could be such a cool Movie! Huge Aircraft... massive accidents and disasters nailbting cliffhanging moments.... great gadgets... and good characters.... PLEASE GET IT RIGHT!!
If you publish this, call me ZIppy.
Thanks! - Keep up the great work!!!Yooooof. Rough stuff, man. But nice work. Thanks for the heads-up!
"Moriarty" out.
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+ Expand All
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...I hope this is a bogus script, or that Frakes won't direct it.
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Fuck me,it sounds terrible!
I grew up watching this show and it was about jeapody[?]and derek's explosions and models[ufo Andersons and Meddings best small screen work]I do not want to see this film.Gerrys fan club took a look at the previous working title script and indicated that it was dire.I hope that this is it!
right,off to the pub to shag Nina Barry.Cool! -
"an anti-inturder system?" Sounds interesting. Perhaps one needs to be invented to stop shite scripts being passed.
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It's like someone making a Davy and Goliath show and not staying true to the source material. It's just silly. sk
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It was NOT just a puppet show!
It was "SUPER-MARIONATION"!!! -
Either one was better than Thunderbirds. Okay Venus? Okay Steve!
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But it was the coolest damn puppett show ever made! I do think they should've gone all CGI with it, though. That way they could stay true to the original look of the show and still update it for today's audiences.
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...and X-Men and Spider Man were comic books, Dick Tracy was a comic strip...I just don't see what the point is that "Thunderbirds" was a puppet show.
And "Thunderbirds" was better than "StingRay" and "Captain Scarlett" was better than all of them. -
I agree with whoever said it should be CGI. Why not let Gerry Anderson himself control/approve it? Isn't there a British equivalent of Pixar? Let them do it, and you can even use the original voices, assuming those folks are still with us. CGI would allow it to look "expensive" (which those beautiful ships deserve,) and mega-detailed, and reflects the hot trend in animation at the moment. I like Frakes, but if this is what it's going to be I will stay FAR away from it, and I'm a HUGE TB fan...
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They were done about four seasons ago by Robert Smigel. It was the brother-sister thing, and they were merionettes/puppets in a supercool aircraft. They added creepy incestuous undertones, though, and then had the villains of each story killed in horrible, brutal ways--shot in the head and when the dolls' head busts open it turns out it was full of blood that flows all over, cut in half with chainsaws, etc. Hysterical, but over the heads of most of the audience.
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Tiny Planets is so cool
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Oct 07, 2002 2:03:22 PM CDT
"Talk Back: the Movie??" Ok, which one of you Fuckheads wants to
by porky
Maybe the asshole who started posting that line in the first place. Hey, whatever happened to Lane Myers? I always liked that worthless piece of shit. Sorry, I'm full of vitriol today.
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Rowr.
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No I take it back it's worse than the Avengers! This sound terrible!!! I can't put enough exclamation marks on the screen to express how bad an idea this script is. Thunderbirds used to have great storylines. The only reason it was a puppet show was because Gerry Anderson couldn't get the budget to do it live action. Now, someone finally gets the money and technology to do it justice and they come up with this pile of rancid dog snot. All I can sujjest is they hand the scripting duties over to an eight year old who has actually seen a few episodes of the show. The story would make more sense and the jokes would likely be better.
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Oct 07, 2002 4:45:30 PM CDT
I know this is repeated way to often, but if they fuck this up,
by thematarife
I remember this when I was a little kid. I loved it. Huge ships, big rescues, cool gagets, it was awesome. The thunderbird ships are the coolest thing ever. Please dont fuck this up.
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Oct 07, 2002 6:59:24 PM CDT
William Osborne wrote the screenplays for Scorpion King, Dr. Jek
by el duderino
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If this is the best they could do for a script then no wonder it took so long to green light the project. I cannot believe that anyone in their right mind would go along with a storyline like this. This flick could be a kid friendly classic, an extravaganza of eye candy for the 60's generation, who like me, were swept away by the fantasy of there being a secret organisation out there somewhere, who, if you called them, they would come. There are just a zillion things you could do with this project other than ignore the actual Thunderbirds and cast kids in the major roles. FRAKES wake up - this could be the death knoll of your directing career.
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you're looking for a secret organization that exists to help you in times of need? look no farther my friend. name's hannibal. meet my friend mr. barracus. "I PITY THE FOOL THAT MESSES WITH US". how can we be of assistance? what is your exact location? murdock! fire up the turbines!
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Live action Terrahawks? Glen Close is Zelda.
Live action Starfleet?Nick Nolte as Uncle Ben. Jack Black as 'the ginger one. Larry Fishburne as the 'black one' Paul Walker as the 'dull one' (anyone remember that?)
Live action fucking Moomins.
Philip Seymour Hoffman is Moomin Troll. Billy Boyd as Snuffkin
Winnona Ryder as Little My. -
It's amazing how lemming-like these people are... Charging over the same cliff the producers of Star Trek: The Movie went over. No respect for the original. I think you're right -- Jonathan Frakes has probably never seen the series -- somebody should send him "Terror in NYC" or "Atlantic Inferno." THAT'S Thunderbirds.
Way to kill the franchise, you idiots. -
This whole story is an obvious troll. Right: The Hood wouldn't be in the show, Brains is completely ignored. No Kyrano or Tin-Tin. I ain't buying any of this. Let's just skip all this and do a *live-action* Thunderbird a la X-Men. Or do it Austin Powers-style. "I have to leave now, m-m-Mister Tracy." "Why, Brains?" "Because I'm playing the next character, too."
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Thunderbirds used to be on television in the mid 70s in Australia at 6am. I was 5 years old and I used to wake up at like 5am and have to sit through Gene Autry (fuck the Angels, fuck em up the ass) until it came on. I had a Corgi toy of Thunderbird 2 (with a tiny plastic Thunderbird 4 in the mid section). God I loved this show then, and thats about all it is good for - 5 year olds.
Do any Australians out there remember the D-Generation parody? Fuck it was a funny! -
We wait nearly 40 years from when I first watched this as a ten year old and not to centre the action around a major disaster is beyond belief.....I was at an audience with Gerry Anderson evening in Manchester last year and among other things he stated that a previous aborted attempt to make this movie had involved a story/scriptwriter that had been hired in the U.S. who had never heard of the original show and was sent videos to watch!!!!
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In my opinion it's too late for anyone to try to reproduce Thunderbirds in anything resembling the original "Supermarionation" form, so I welcome CGI effects.
In principle, I'm not even opposed to a first movie that centres on a young Alan and Tintin - but it would have to be one heck of a lot better than what's described above for it to be worth making, and it would require some lateral thinking. E.g. a Thunderbirds movie without any Thunderbirds - the story of how International Rescue got of the ground (so to speak), marred by the interference of The Hood. I think the Hood is the only crook who should ever know about Tracy Island [which he obviously does, since he influences Kirano with his psychic powers] because the island is simply too iconic as a place of security for IR for it ever to be discovered by any other bad guys...
But a plot like that would be very difficult to realise satisfactorily. I think any script writer would do better to stick to the basic themes of Thunderbirds and what I think are the pre-requisites for the first Thunderbirds story in thirty-something years:
1) All five Thunderbirds and their pilots must be involved in the action. OK, OK - everyone but John who stays in TB5. :)
2) Lady Penelope and Parker - with FAB1 - must have a key role to play.
3) The Hood should make at least a brief appearance.
4) There should be "something going on" between Alan and Tintin.
I mean, how difficult is it to think of a semi-reasonable idea? Here's mine - it took all of three minutes to think of the basic idea, and half an hour to write this brief description:
On its first passenger flight the Starfire (a sub-orbital intercontinental spaceliner) and the Fireflash aircraft (which takes it, piggy-back, to its launch altitude) are sabotaged. After an explosion, the Fireflash crashes into the sea [cue TB1 /TB2/ TB4 rescue of its crew]
while the Starfire launches into space, apparently undamaged. [Cue return home of Thunderbirds, celebration etc.]
After some time, a newscaster announces that the computer pilot of Starfire has been hacked by the hood (in a blackmail attempt) and the passengers are in danger. As Alan, Tintin and Gordon race to the rescue in TB3, Lady Penelope and Parker speed cross country in FAB1 to break into JCN Cybernetics in order to retrieve the vital program data required to shut down the computer pilot without activating the Starfire's self destruct. [Why a passenger craft should have a self destruct is another matter - there has to be something for the audience to be puzzled by ;) ].
In the nick of time, Brains decodes the shut-down sequence and relays the data to TB3.
But the danger is not over, for the undercarriage has been damaged by the explosion and fuel for atmospheric flight is now low. TB1 takes off for the spaceport where the Starfire, with Alan now at the controls, is meant to land. TB 2 launches soon afterwards but radio contact has been lost with TB2 and Tracy Island.
Using its small grapple, TB1 helps pull the Starfire out of a nosedive but can do nothing else. Will TB2 with it's pod-based giant grapple arrive in time? The answer is no! It seems inevitable that Alan and the passengers are doomed to an unsurvivable crash landing...
However as the Starfire goes ever onward we cut to TB2 landing and then elevating on its legs. Virgil emerges from the pod in the lead platform car, followed by two identical remote controlled ones [as featured in one of the Fireflash episodes]. Safe landing, happy ending Etc. Etc...
Nothing much original there - cobbled together ideas from different Thunderbirds stories - but it's recognisably (I hope) a real Thunderbirds story.
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How do these people get behind cameras? This film is gonna stink real bad. I'm suprised someone like Frakes, with all his Star Trek nous behind him can be a party to such a travesty...ruining yet another brillant TV series in its screen adaption. He knows he can't screw around with the Star Trek franchise given its historical legacy, so instead he grabs a British classic and turns it into a farcical carry-on comedy. The Avengers, The Saint...all have been ruined on the big screen. Now they want to do the same to International Rescue. No wonder Gerry Anderson hasn't been invited to comment. They're raping his show and pouring ridicule on what was a fantastic cliffhanger of a concept years before Star Wars appeared. I grew up loving Thunderbirds, and my kids love Thunderbirds. Why are they doing this to such a loved show? Why is everything made so crappy and moronic? It's an insult to cinema goers and the legions of world wide fans. What'll we have next? Britney Spears singing the theme tune?
I'm crushed. -
I have just read on FANDERSON that Rolls Royce (VW) are not interested in Lady Ps car.
SO IT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING RENAULT!!!!!!
A BLOODY FRENCH RENAULT FOR CHRISTS SAKE!!
A JAG OR AN ASTON WOULD HAVE BEEN OK, OR EVEN A TVR, BUT A FUCKING RENAULT?????
WHAT ABOUT A BENTLEY? Ok so that is now BMW but what the hell at least the grill would have looked similar.
For gods sake stop making this film now and save us all the touble.
And another thing, TIN TIN should be at least 18 years old. In the feature film Thunderbirds are go! (which was on terrestrial TV here in Britain last weekend)she was asked by Alan to go to a night club. 12 year olds do not go out to clubs in the middle of the night. (Well not round here they don't anyway.)
Arse!!!! -
Some points on Thunderbirds (2004):
1. Rolls Royce is owned by BMW, not VW (Bentley). Since BMW is all about publicity, turning down product placement is very ominous.
2. WT clearly have an affinity for 'Thunderbirds' to have pushed the project for so long - it is tragic that in their quest for production funding, they butchered the premise of the show.
3. Why this production is not fully CGI is a great mystery - with current technology, production costs would be at TV cartoon levels, so that even if just fans turn out across the globe, you still make money. The resulting 'unreality' would suit the show's premise well. Rugrats and Shrek did OK BO at last check.
4. Slapping a well known title on something altogether different, means you strart your marketing effort with fans overboard
5. Some people who don't know the show apparently make the unfortunate connection between five men in uniform and the Village People. This problem can be solved well, by adding female characters, or very poorly, by hiding some of the Tracy clan.
6. Some users of this site rag on the source material - what is the point, but to waste time - as with all distictive work, it stands on it's own - some people love it, some don't.
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