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Tobe Hooper: On the Beard and his original thoughts for POLTERGEIST 2, TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE & TAKEN + THE SIMPSONS!

Hey folks, Harry here... Here's a great report on what's a happening up in the Great White North where folks are spilling beans and franks all over the place. Here we get the lowdown on THE SIMPSONS feature film!!! Blessed be to Rotowangisha, Lord of the Negative Zone, for answering my pleas! Now I must sacrifice three Apple Crisps into the gullet of the Flaming Buddha to appease him! Next is a bunch of stuff with Tobe Hooper... Now I just want to go on record as saying, MGM should instantly hire Tobe Hooper and bring on Spielberg as a producer and pursue and finance their original idea for POLTERGEIST 2 immediately! Now Please! Right Now! Holy Fuck I want to see that movie!!! Also, I'll be answering tons of questions about the new take on the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE film that is being made right now... it isn't quite a remake. You'll see! Here ya go...

Dear Harry & Crew,

Sent you a scoop a wee bit back when it was announced that that shite-monger, Paul Anderson, got the "Aliens Vs. Predator" gig, so there's a precedent for my shouting atcha. Cool? Then let's continue...

Well, it's festival season here in the great white north, and cinephiles are about to get hip-deep into the Vancouver International Film Fest, myself included.

One of the highlights of the fest is always the Trade Forum, where industry experts and pundits get together to schmooze and discuss the state of the art and so on. The panels of guest speakers are always a hit, and I was in the room last year when David Hayter let drop that he's working on adapting "Watchmen" for the screen, but that bastard Kizinti (or something like that) scooped you on it first. Sigh. Anyways...

I'm currently attending all four days of the Forum, today being the first. I hope I'll have more to tell you soon, because today got me off to a great start.

Now, I don't know if this is news to you yet, but I was in the room where Al Jean (Executive producer, writer and showrunner for The Simpsons since its inception in 1989) was one of the guest speakers. When it came time for Q&A with the audience, I got to ask him a question I'll bet tons of you out there are dying for an answer to:

Is there ever going to be a Simpsons movie?

His answer.....?

YES!

In fact, more than yes. He went so far as to tell us that all the principle cast has recently signed for a THREE PICTURE DEAL. The murmurs spread through the room. People liked that.

But, (Yes, you knew there was going to be a BUT) he doesn't know when.

Currently there are no plans to end the fourteen year run of the show and the writing staff is having enough trouble coming up with plotlines to fill 22 minutes of TV show, let alone 80-90 minutes of feature film. It was encouraging to hear him then say however that the six-man team of writers (including himself) hired for the task of the script want it to be something of QUALITY. They absolutely do not want to do it simply for the cash or to rip us (the fans) off.

They want to do it when the time is right. But, fear not people, a Simpsons movie IS on the way.

Next, the Cult Movie panel...

Starring none other than Tobe Hooper.

I'll start off by saying that this man used to scare the living fuck outta me. Never met him before, nope, no reason to fear the man himself...

But I watched "Poltergeist" when I was like, seven, and I still have issues with clowns and big gnarly trees. Perhaps one or two of you out there can relate. Texas Chainsaw Massacre fucked me up for a while too.

Now Tobe himself however, is the shit. I mean, such a nice guy it's hard to believe. He went on about the state of cult movies today, what it takes for a movie to be a cult hit, and answered tons of questions about his own work.

He seemed to have mixed feelings about "Poltergeist", mainly because of some LA Times article that labelled him a Spielberg puppet, but he thanked the man for teaching him so much about special effects. He stated that the reason though he didn't return for the sequel was because his and Spielberg's idea was rejected:

Remember when the house got sucked into that ball of light at the end? The sequel was to begin with the National Guard cordoning off the area for miles around this ball of light, hovering 18 feet about sea level, in the exact same spot as before, while a team of scientists prepares, then enters it and encounters The Beast... Ah well, never meant to be I guess.

Now you want to hear about The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, don't you?

He actually had surprisingly little to say about it. He had an amusing anecdote about asking a friend at the MPAA about whether or not he could show a girl being impaled and hung on a meat hook, and the friend said sure as long as there was no penetration shown. Believe it or not, Tobe actually had NO PROBLEMS with the MPAA over TCM. Honest, he never had to recut and resubmit. Wild, huh?

Then, Q&A. The mike was in my hand, so I got to thank him for Poltergeist (Hey, I like being scared), then I asked what his feelings were about the so-called "re-fucking-imagining" of our beloved TCM that we all known is on the way.

He seemed, well, disheartened somewhat by it really. He had just gone off about the state of cult movies, how part one of a series is the one people remember, how Scream 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8 only diminish what was once cutting edge and original, and how the studios are only in it for the money.

So he spoke from the heart yet again and said that he asked Gus Van Sant about how his experience remaking Psycho was for him. Gus told him that if he could, he'd remake every movie he'd ever loved if given the chance.

So Tobe got to thinking, got together with a partner, turned in a script for a remake and at one point was even ready to take on directing it himself. But then it was taken out of his hands and put into Michael Bay's production company's lap. Yeah, can't wait for his take on the material...

But, Tobe did offer a glimmer of hope:

He's not done with TCM yet. Not by a long shot. He's still getting steady work, still got some clout, and if the upcoming mini-series "Taken" shows he's still got IT.... well, maybe we'll have reason to be scared again, but this time, for the right reasons.

Sorry if this letter went on for waaaay too long. I'll understand if you edit or don't post it at all, but I felt I had something to share. There's more to come from me though, so best be ready. Hell, I may even have something EXTREMELY COOL to share with you all come Saturday or Sunday.

Till then, you be cool. I'll be MooVeeBoy.

Readers Talkback
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  • Sept. 26, 2002, 1:37 a.m. CST

    First! Second! Third!

    by El_Barstardo

    Does my dick grow bigger now?

  • ...and Matt Groening pretty much confirmed that there'd be a SIMPSONS movie then too (but didn't say anything about a trilogy), they were just waiting for the right story (i.e. not the standard plot about the evil capitalist Republican Dittohead meateating hun toting real estatedeveloper wanting to redevelop Springfield that spin-off movies use when they have no real ideas).

  • Obviously that should be "gun toting"... not too many Huns around Springfield.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 1:41 a.m. CST

    The problem with a Simpsons Movie is...

    by El_Barstardo

    What the hell could you make it about? It would have to be something that goes beyond the series, and quite frankly I can't think of any storyline that would justify a movie. Maybe if the simpson movie was the 'end' of the show, and thus showed the ultimate fate of all the characters, but apart from that, I can't think of anything.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 4:19 a.m. CST

    Simpsons Movie

    by SLEAZY DINOSAUR

    I seem to remember hearing about this a year or so ago on one of the news channels, and Matt Groening said that when they do it, it would likely center around Bart in his late teens, sort of a takeoff on The Graduate. As far as I'm concerned, any Simpsons movie needs as much Homer as humanly possible.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 4:24 a.m. CST

    i really wanted to go to this (the trade forum), but i had to wo

    by a goonie

    so if i miss that, also, it will suck. too bad.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 4:48 a.m. CST

    The perfect idea for The Simpsons movie . . .

    by darthflagg

    The Simpsons get transported into the real world a la "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" and have a TV show made about their lives, starring John Goodman as Homer! Think about it . . .

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 5:08 a.m. CST

    Simpsons

    by F Timmie

    I think the only way a Simpsons movie could work was if they did it live action, like the Flintstones movies. Actually they mention this on the 2nd Season DVDs. They say if they ever did a live action Simpsons they would need to get William Macy to play Ned Flanders.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 6:04 a.m. CST

    Please make a sequel to Lifeforce!

    by deathwish6

    No I'm not joking, bastards.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 6:13 a.m. CST

    Ned Flanders

    by Delete Me

    Yes! William H. Macy would be perfect as Ned Flanders! :D

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 6:29 a.m. CST

    Isn't there still the debate between Speilberg and Hooper ab

    by Monkey_King

    I spoke to Edwin Neal back in 1996 and he acknowledged the "Speilberg directed Poltergeist" story claiming "Toby was too hopped up on drugs to finish the film and Speilberg stepped in to finish it." That's believable.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 6:48 a.m. CST

    Texas Chainsaw Massacre didn't have any trouble with the MPA

    by CigaretteFairy

    That's SURPRISING considering there's no violence shown! I could possibly understand them bitching about themes, but there's you can't do anymore about it once the film is made (this was an indie-ish, right? can't re-shoot stuff). I wanna see this real Poltergeist sequel!

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 7:27 a.m. CST

    poltergeist, schmoltergeist

    by iron_monkey

    Apart from the scene where the tree tries to grab the kid, Poltergeist was laughable, the sequels even worse and the series cynical.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 7:48 a.m. CST

    I hear ya, deathwish6!

    by Cash Bailey

    LIFEFORCE is the shit, and Mathilda May is still unreasonably hot.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 7:52 a.m. CST

    One of the Simpsons' movies should be the all musical "Simpt

    by TimBenzedrine

    Or "Krustyphenia" And they have to dedicate at least part of one these films to one of their greatest creations, McBane. I remember Matt saying once that if they ever made a feature film, it wouldn't be one of your stardard issue "The family goes to Europe" plotlines. How about "Treehouse of Horror" the Motion Picture, or "Who Framed Itchy and Scratchy" ?

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 8:13 a.m. CST

    Race For Your Life, Bart Simpson!

    by durhay

    The movie should be a remake of the seminal Charlie Brown movie, this time set at Kamp Krusty.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 9:49 a.m. CST

    I liked Poltergeist 2

    by rev_skarekroe

    That old preacher guy was scary! sk

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 10:04 a.m. CST

    Where's my "Poltergeist 3" DVD Dammit?

    by Regicidal_Maniac

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  • Sept. 26, 2002, 10:08 a.m. CST

    TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!!

    by Regicidal_Maniac

    POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!! POLTERGEIST TRILOGY BOX SET with extras disk!!!

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 10:11 a.m. CST

    Saw a bit on Turner Classic Movies about Poltergeist

    by Son Of Batboy

    It was some filler behind the scenes segment and you'd swear that Spielberg was the director on that film. It was kind of funny really because every minute you had Spielberg talking about the film or in the middle of the production, really hands on type of stuff, then half way through there's a blink-and-you-miss-it shot of Tobe Hooper looking sort of bored as the title "director" is flashed underneath him. That's the entire coverage of Hooper during the segment then its back to an energetic Spielberg yammering away. It looked like Spielberg was so protective of his story that he just decided to muscle his way in and direct it himself.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 10:16 a.m. CST

    The Beard?

    by Rondo

    I forgot to post when I originally saw the article about those guys sitting around in awe wondering what "the Beard"would come up with next.It sounded so incredibly mind numbingly geek obsessed I couldn't actually believe it.The beard?Spielberg?If you remember around the time of E.T. he did shave the beard,and George Lucas has always had his hasn't he,so George Lucas should be the beard. Anyway,the Beard?

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Poltergeist 2 rules

    by Glass

    And anyone who says it doesn't sucks. I just watched it again this weekend (When I was 11 I watched it and Poltergeist every day for like 6 months) and it's zany, but it's great. I'm not saying that Hooper's take wouldn't have been fucking awesome, but the outcome is pretty damn good as well. I think Craig Nelson and JoBeth Williams are both great actors and really gave that movie a legitimacy that lesser actors wouldn't have been able to produce.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 10:47 a.m. CST

    This crap about Speilberg

    by Glass

    is getting ridiculous. Sure, he played a role in the making of the movie. It has his stamp all over it. But what producer DOESN'T play a role, much to the director's dismay? And the whole thing with Hooper looking bored in the behind the scenes shit: he was probably annoyed, not bored! Speilberg was probably driving him mad. The only reason everyone says that Speilberg took the helm is because he's such an icon today and people want to assume he had complete control. I like the guy, don't get me wrong. He wrote my favorite movie ever (Poltergeist), but let's not get carried away.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 12:03 p.m. CST

    remake

    by hank quinlan

    I think TCM is a masterpiece. An honest to god piece of pop culture art. Hooper did get rather spotty after though. Poltergeist is wildly uneven. Some sort of struggle ensued. Anyone who wasn't there (hell even those who were) will never know the full story. Someone should do a book about it. Anyhow, as for the TCM remake. It sure is gonna be interesting. I heard from those on the production that Nispel is obsessed. He keeps going back to sets and shooting and shooting. He has all these ideas about putting 70's pop culture images in it. Still, surprisingly they said he was a cool guy and not at all the despot he was supposed to be. I still think the remake is a fucking joke. And the production cost me the crew of my own film which actually turned out to be a good thing. My new project is now in the can and is ten times better then that one would have been. Where was I? Oh Simpsons movie would rule!

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Simp-o-cast-o-rama

    by Pepper Sinclaire

    I can't remember if I said this before but fuggit - here goes - BRUCE WILLIS AS LIVE ACTION HOMER! John Goodman would blow, and besides, he's been Fred Flintstone so he can't have another shot at fucking up a cartoon hero in MY BOOK OF THE LAW. Bruce has the right combo of roud head, lack of hair, plus a prety good comedy manner. All the rest of 'em can do one as far as I'm concerned, me want Homer movie with Comic Book Guy, Prof. Frink and Wiggum. Sold! P$

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 3:03 p.m. CST

    Michael Bay's an oversold cocksucker.

    by Mr. Eddie

    He has no business being in charge of ANY movie -- let alone a TCM remake.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 4:04 p.m. CST

    Simpsons cast

    by WeedyMcSmokey

    Anyone who thinks this could work as a live-action film are basically morons.Maybe that's harsh, but it's true. One of the strengths of the show (besides the laugh out loud one-liners, greatest American satire since Tap, and having the last word on every major event of the last ten years) is that it is populated by literally one hundred supporting characters - can't cast them all - leave it animated. It works that way. And if you can name a good live-action adaptation of a cartoon (not a comic book, a cartoon) I will send you a cheque for $1000.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 5:10 p.m. CST

    Fettastic, you beat me to it about "crocodile"

    by SilenceofFreedom

    That was horrible, with even more horrible CGI. Didn't he do "The Mangler" too ? That was HORRIBLE ! Sure, he's done some alright stuff in the past, but he has way more misses than hits. Even Lifeforce was kind of weak. Especially the horrid ending. Damn, even the newly released "Crocodile 2" was better than the first, despite that half the time it seems like a poor rip-off of "snatch".

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 7:57 p.m. CST

    "The Simpsons" Movie should be about...

    by screenplaywriter

    Either the Roger Rabbit deal, or just show Bart and Lisa all grown up (finally), we hear Maggie talk, Flanders gets a new wife, Comic Book Guy, or Superintendant Chalmers is married to Skinner's mom (eeew!), Apu ditches Majula and gets back with the Squishee lady, Chief Wiggum quits the force and becomes a private eye in New Orleans (like the show showed), Skinner finally quits being a pussy and marries the hot and sexy Mrs. Krabapple, Milhouse gets killed, or becomes a loser like his dad, and I dunno...Krusty gets chased by the mob (again), Mr. Burns tries to take over the world (and fails due to Homer's brain-dead schemes), and some other kind of stuff you could think of to make the show finally answer all your questions and all the things you want to see come out of the show as a feature-film.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 8:41 p.m. CST

    Regicidal Maniac - are you NUTS?? "Poltergiest 3" was CRAP!

    by Elgyn6655321

    Then again, what do I know, I just ordered "Cabin Boy" on DVD. And I`ll be buying "Jason X" on DVD the day it comes out (Oct 8). Oh and BTW - a live-action "Simpsons" movie is the single WORST idea I`ve ever heard in my life.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 9:01 p.m. CST

    According to Julia Philips memoir "You'll Never Eat Lunch in

    by DunbarLives

    For what it's worth. She may not be the most reliable of sources, considering she was seriously high and is now dead. Good poozle though. She didn't like King of Marvin Gardens, me and Rafelson's baby. It's over for the Schneids.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 9:22 p.m. CST

    Superman Is NOTHING Compared To The Scale Of The Simpsons Movie

    by ILoveEwksAndJJar

    If Fox screws this up, their'll be an even greater uproar than there currently is with this whole Superman fiasco. Not only will half of the whiny fanboys be bitching, but also kids everywhere grades K through college, and their parents, and their friends. EVERYBODY. I hate to say it but some of the new episodes are faltering, not all of them, there are some really good new episodes, but some are not so really good. But Fox won't screw it up. They won't. I SAID... they won't. As motivation I'm watching The Simpsons as I write. Homer just said: "See, white people have names like Lenny, whereas black people have names like Carl." Ahhhhhhhh. That one's a classic. That is why we watch the Simpsons. Here's hoping for a great movie. "Worst movie based on a cartoon television series EVER!", just imagine Comicbook guy saying that at the end of the movie, followed by a "But not as horrible as that first draft of the Superman script by Alias writer JJ Abrams." Seek Wisdom.

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 9:31 p.m. CST

    Here's how the Simpsons should end:

    by Regenhund

    It turns out that 15 Years Ago Mr. Burns was about to kick the bucket but he sold Smithers&#39; soul to Satan in exchange for putting the entire town of Springfield in a time warp where no one gets any older. Smithers finds the contract and finally rebels against the ancient coot. The contract is torn up and Bart finds himself 25 years old with only a fourth grade education (barely). Wackyness ensues... Sarah Michelle Gellar and Anthony Stewart Head guest star. (Hey, Burrows- I&#39;d better get credit for that, you hack!) <woof> copyright 2002

  • Sept. 26, 2002, 11:54 p.m. CST

    Dammit, El_Barstardo!! There&#39;d be NO problems with a Simpson

    by exPFCWintergreen

    What the hell&#39;s the matter with you?_____ They said that the Star Wars prequels were the most anticipated movies of all time, then they said that the LOTR movies were the most anticpated films ever. But a Simpsons movie!!! If a trailer for a Simpsons Movie was ever released, the anticpation level of the public would far surpass both Star Wars and LOTR combined.

  • Sept. 27, 2002, 1:05 a.m. CST

    As far as I&#39;m concerned, they already used the great Simpson

    by Cap'n Chaos!

    Just think what they could have done with a film about Homer working for the Bond villain? That was the most brilliant pop-culture satire I&#39;ve ever seen in my life. When he tackles Bond I actually elicited a cheer, then doubled over laughing. A Treehouse of Horrors film would be amazing with a great budget. And Fox could run it every Halloween night on their station for the rest of eternity.

  • Sept. 27, 2002, 2:41 a.m. CST

    you wanna hypnotize yourself? scroll, don&#39;t pg dwn, Regicid

    by Tall_Boy

    trippy. oh yeah, and I agree, GLOBEX CORP. was probably the best movie idea they&#39;ve already done. I can&#39;t see them doing a flick while the show is still on the air. I would say the whole "grown up simpsons" thing, but that just WOULDN&#39;T be the Simpsons. maybe a "All Good Things..." / "Generations" thing like TNG did...

  • Sept. 27, 2002, 3:06 a.m. CST

    I came in my pants when I heard about the SIMPSONS movie

    by Ronnie_Dobbs

    As long as this is animated, it could be great. Remember the 3D SIMPSONS episode they showed in theatres? With the right animators, it could be a really cool movie.

  • The Funhouse was a Tragically underrated 1981 Motion Picture Directed by Tobe Hooper it has a Slasher movie type plot about 4 Teenagers trapped all alone Late at Night in a carnival stalked by a Killer but is infact a Surprisingly clever and Tasteful Horror Film!! Director Tobe Hooper put the accent on Suspense and Atmosphere rather than Gore and Senceless violence unlike most inferior Horror movies at that Time and is a Must See for any True Horror Fan

  • Sept. 27, 2002, 4:35 p.m. CST

    CHAINSAW 3 - THE SAW IS FAMILY Man, that film SUCKED

    by NotchJohnson

    Man, saw "Texas Chainsaw 3 - THe Saw is Family" back in 1989. Man, that film sucked. I got in free by my movie employee friend, and I STILL almost wanted my $5 or $6 back. Man, that sucked. Even Leatherface wasn&#39;t really the same dude. At least part 2 had that awesome radio station scene where that dude did the "legs convulsion" on the floor. Man, part 3 sucked. Notch out.

  • Sept. 28, 2002, 7:43 p.m. CST

    "The Simpsons" in live-action would suck. Stick to animation!

    by screenplaywriter

    If anybody thinks that John Goodman, or Bruce Willis, or whoever else could play Homer you&#39;re obviously on crack. Nobody could play these characters as good as Dan Castelanta, or Hank Azaria, or Nancy Cartwright portray them. I mean could you hear John Goodman trying to do "D&#39;oh!" or "Mmm...doughnuts" in Homer&#39;s voice. NO! I rest my case. "The Simpsons" should stay in animation form, because we already know that if cartoons keep on turning into live-action movies than they&#39;ll keep on flopping and ending up at the video-store in 4 months, or more. Look at "Dudley Do Right" it was pitiful. Brendan Fraser killed the character and Sarah Jessica Parker killed Nell with her "Sex and the City" acting and her poor imitation, or impersonation. I say leave cartoons as cartoons, don&#39;t try and make them seem real to the outside world. Cartoons aren&#39;t suppose to be real. I mean would you want to see some fat white guy playing Chief Wiggum, or some Haley Joel Osmant playing Bart? Hell no! Keep it as it is and forget about speaking about a live-action "Simpsons" cuz it ain&#39;t going to happen.

  • Oct. 3, 2002, 2:50 a.m. CST

    Go, screenplaywriter

    by Ronnie_Dobbs

    There is no such thing as a good cartoon-TV-show to live-action movie. John Goodman already proved this with THE FLINTSTONES, and hell, that&#39;s the least retarded one. Goodman&#39;s only really enjoyable in Coen Bros. movies anyway; he&#39;d be a terrible Homer. Bruce Willis would be a better choice, but it&#39;d be stupid no matter what in live-action. Surrealistic animation, with lots of sight gags like the show, is the only way to go here. And no CG.