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BUFFY Spoilers!! Reading them would be wrong!!

I am – Hercules!!

The script of the sixth episode of the seventh season of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” is out there. Spoilers certain to completely ruin this installment for you lie ahead. We’re only posting them because it’s better you get them here than out on the street:

* 7.6 is titled “Him.”

* “Emergency cheerleader tryouts” are held at Sunnydale High when one of the squad has a nasty run-in with a vending machine.

* Lori, the Cordelia-like captain of the cheerleading squad, gets terribly annoyed when a star quarterback (let’s call him Skyler) fails to ignore Dawn properly. Lori mocks Dawn by suggesting that sister Buffy, the school’s new counselor, is “some kind of narc or something.”

* Skyler feels threatened too, because his coach plans to start the Saturday game with a longtime benchwarmer (perhaps named Kozac). Dawn pleads with Kozac to bow out so Skyler can lead the team to victory. When Kozac laughs her off, Dawn does something surprising enough to be revealed in inviso-text! At the end act one, Dawny shoves the burly Kozac down a flight of stairs.

* It turns out Skyler can make all the females in Sunnydale do his bidding, thanks to his magical letter jacket. There’s a funny scene closing act two that may remind some of “Buffy Vs. Dracula.” Skyler slips the jacket on while Buffy is trying to lecture him about the evil of womanizing.

* Sounds like a Xander-centric episode from a few seasons past? There are parallels, including more than a little exciting catfight action. The slayer will even abuse her Sunnydale High authority to score some one-on-one time with the hunky footballer many years her junior.

* Spike and Xander, being the only two boys left in the regular cast, team up to sort out what’s happened. They visit Skyler’s brother, Lance. Once a big man on campus, Lance has grown into a pudgy delivery boy for Pizza Barn. It is from Lance that they learn of the jacket’s disturbing history.

I am – Hercules!!

Readers Talkback
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  • Sept. 20, 2002, 4:43 a.m. CST

    what a great time for my first

    by bodhizefa13

    yay buffy and having relations with guys who are younger! yay high school boys hooking up with guidance counselors! and yay me first?!

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 4:45 a.m. CST

    I know some people would consider those spoilers.....

    by Ridge

    And they are technically.... but really, by the title I was expecting something of a 'revelation' to the Buffy series, and all I got was something along the lines of a filler episode between the important ones... oh well it does sound like a funny episode anyhow. Hey any idea where I can get one of those jackets?

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 4:56 a.m. CST

    This news kicks arse!

    by Psyclops

    It sounds like this season is shaping up to be one of the best (and sadly, the last). Can't wait for this one!

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 5:14 a.m. CST

    Is "The Watcher" or "Ripper" or what ever you call still going t

    by Steal_Dragon

    Because it still is on IMDB, but another AICN said Anthony Stuart Head is now doing a remake of the show "Dr Who". So is it dead or isn't it.

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 5:17 a.m. CST

    Ripper Who

    by Hercules

    Ripper is on indefinite hold. As reported here and elsewhere, Tony Head is NOT doing Dr. Who.

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 5:33 a.m. CST

    Sounds unoriginal

    by spike fan

    Looks like a redo of BeWitched Bothered and Bewilidered (which was a great episode) with Dawn and Co. Surely they can think of something more original than this. And the whole Buffy coming on to the football guy sounds like Jenny coming on to Xander! Still at least the Spike/Xander scenes look cool.### Perosnaly I wish they would make a Faith show now that would be something to see.Faith is one of the most interesting charachters on the show while ED is a great actress albbiet one who seems to think Type cast Teen roles is movies is a career.###

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 6:35 a.m. CST

    Most boring show Ever!!!

    by humboldt99

    Wow, we get more Dawn...wheeee. Somebody stab me in the eyes.

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 7:30 a.m. CST

    Time of Death-Season 7 Sept 24th

    by BLADE

    Cause of Death-High amounts of suck

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 8:22 a.m. CST

    That's it? Those are the big spoilers? I was expecting HOTPA

    by Gellar's Ass

    Seriously, that it? There must be something I'm not seeing here. Big spoilers would be something like Dawn bedding Xander or something. I just hope they aren't setting this up to be a "Next Generation Slayers" show after this season ends. And some kid named Skyler? I hate him already.

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 8:49 a.m. CST

    Dr Who is coming back though....

    by Chilli Kramer

    Twas announced on BBC radio the other day. Early days though. This episode does seem a little like Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered, which is fine by me. Will Willow try to seduce Skyler in only a nightie though?

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 9:18 a.m. CST

    Hercules & Ripper WHO

    by JoeZerboy

    Sorry to disagree with you on my first post, Herc, but Anthony Head has already done some Doctor Who. In a recent three part CD Audio release through Big Finish Productions in the UK, Anthony Head played the "baddie" of the story arc. The audios Big Finish are producing for Doctor Who are officially licensed by the BBC and are considered canon to the Doctor Who universe. To find out more about them, their site is Long time Whovian, JoeZer

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 10:05 a.m. CST


    by blckmgk13

    the italicized writing of the word "wrong" makes me think Herc is tossing a red herring out to us on this one. That or 7th season buffy is gonna suck even more ass than last year. Please say it ain't so HERC!

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 10:14 a.m. CST

    Statutory Rape

    by BlankGeneration

    The BlankGeneration notes that ME's new rape fetish is now officialy tiresome. Spike attempts to rape Buffy, Buffy goes for underage teen weenie, whats next? How about Angelus rapes Spike or Anya forces herself on Giles , or Willow does a magical/mental mindfuck to Farrah, Tara's identical cousin or sister or whatever she's going to be. Amnesia on Angel, rape fantasies on Buffy, is the creative well of artistic inspiration drying up at ME. Some vaginal lube would clear that up.........."Grrh, Argh, ohhhhh, ummmm, yes, don't stop, subject my little alien ass to more of your puerile fantasies of Slayersex with teenie weenies."...........Thanks for listening.

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 10:53 a.m. CST

    'it would be wrong'

    by bosshogg

    "the italicized writing of the word "wrong" makes me think Herc is tossing a red herring out to us on this one. That or 7th season buffy is gonna suck even more ass than last year. Please say it ain't so HERC!" Actually, it's most likely a reference to the two-part episode where Faith and Buffy switched bodies. Faith stood in front of a mirror in Buffy's body, mocking her goody-goody attitude and trying not to sound ridiculous saying "You can't do that, because it's wrong."

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 11:25 a.m. CST

    The gals

    by ThingsThatTimDog

    Willow in that night shirt from BBB sure would certainly improve this episode. 'Gay now' my ass....hmm that didnt exactly sound right but you get the point. Also, 'Sklyer' has got to bed both of the Summers sisters at the same time if hes got a jacket like that.

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 11:30 a.m. CST

    So, it's now "Buffy and Saved by the Bell"?

    by Smugbug

    hee hee. Or "Saved by the Bell Buffy", or "Scoobs Save the Bell"....ah, whatever. Just having some fun.

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 12:11 p.m. CST

    NO RAPE, you assholes

    by Idiot Jed

    Let me clear it up. Buffy comes onto him, and he is way happy about it. Whatever. The guy's a senior - 18, right? She's 21. No big deal. Plus: in the end, nothing happens. And the guy's name is not Skylar.

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 12:16 p.m. CST

    And one more thing...

    by Idiot Jed

    Mojo Jojo - you're a cretinous moron.

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 12:28 p.m. CST

    MojoJojo has a point...

    by BlankGeneration

    ...considering Slayer strength and all, Xander would have died when he lost his virginity to Faith. If she got to climax city with Xan and the clenching begins, there would be massive blood loss due to organ dismemberment......Thanks for listening.

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Xander and Spike team up? They iron out their wacky differences

    by Mistah Kurtz

    'Bout damn time.

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 12:37 p.m. CST


    by mbeemer

    Herc was refering to an earlier rumor that ASH would be playing the Time Lord himself. So the fact he did some voice acting as a baddie for a radio gig doesn't apply.

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 1:04 p.m. CST


    by JoeZerboy

    I knew that ASH was once rumored to play the Doctor and that rumor was squashed. However, Herc did not word his comment to reflect that...he left it a generic statement and I was mentioning ASH's involvement to date with the Doctor Who franchise.

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 1:42 p.m. CST

    Marti Noxon

    by The Alienist

    Take a look over at Wanda's E Online Gossip column. Marti is there to answer/not answer questions. Not a whole lot of info...but for those of you who don't like the the transcript. She comes off like a pretty witty broad. I like her now.

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 2:31 p.m. CST

    Hoo boy!

    by The Hawk

    I'd better not tell Stinky and Rusty Rat of this ep. It sounds like every fanboys drean come true. And I mean the WET variety.

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 2:44 p.m. CST


    by cozmicmonkeychow

    I can't believe I didn't remember that bathroom mirror scene as being where the whole "wrong" thing came from... when I read Herc's "it would be wrong" line, I thought of the part in the Halloween episode where Buffy and Willow want to steal Giles' watchers journals so they could see what Angel's ex girlfriends might have looked like. Jesus, I'm a dork... ^_^

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 5:50 p.m. CST

    Ladies and gentlemen, the shark has jumped.

    by Rick McCallum

    I'm sorry, but the cliche had to be said. Skyler? Lori? WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE CHARACTERS??! What happened to the regular gang? If Joss is truly in charge again now, then the series as we know it ended last season.

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 9:17 p.m. CST


    by BRTick

    next week! next week! no more waiting! buffys back! ooooo yay!

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 9:39 p.m. CST


    by SallyHousecoat

    I wouldn't call Willow's attempt to destroy the world half-assed, just unsuccessful. She gave it her all but, that manly Xander was able to "kill" her with kindness. "...I love crayon breaky Willow and scary veiny Willow and especially hot lesbian sex in the back of an ice cream truck Willow..."

  • Sept. 20, 2002, 10:35 p.m. CST

    This season has only one purpose to set up

    by warlock411

    Dawn the New Vampire Slayer. That is why it will be a weak season. I like Spike and Willow best on the show , Dawn is the one I like least of all. One problem is Joss is spread way to thin. I just hope Spike gets his wish and can give Buffy what she deserves.

  • Sept. 21, 2002, 1:49 a.m. CST

    What she deserves?

    by ThingsThatTimDog

    What would that be a serious marathon grudge fuck?

  • Sept. 21, 2002, 2:31 a.m. CST

    If Freddie Prinz can satisfy her, anyone can...

    by UTellEmSteveDave

    I'm just saying.

  • Sept. 21, 2002, 4:40 a.m. CST


    by Prof. Pop-Cult

    Sorry. Childish, immature and flat-out dumb. (Especially from me.) But I simply could not resist. :^)

  • Sept. 21, 2002, 6:49 p.m. CST

    heres something for you

    by Hoof Hearted Its a called slayer watch and is put up by "vampires" keeping tabs on all the "slayers" they can find.

  • Sept. 22, 2002, 6:23 a.m. CST

    Dawn vs. Faith

    by mal_1Jm

    Intersting story I heard from a friend who works on The Fox Lot. Turns out that Miss Gellar is infact leaving the show becuase she wants to spent time with her new hubbie. Dawn will not become the Slayer as many have feared. The new slayer will be Faith. She will come back and will segway into being the full time slayer. My friend did not have details about how it will happend, but I for one hope that it is true..

  • Sept. 22, 2002, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Lets all hope this isnt as dull as it sounds...

    by FromHell

    some lame ass kid with a magical coat? please, i hope it's just a comedy installment, cos if this is the kind of stories they're coming up with i'll be very disapointed. You know the more i think about the return to Sunnydale high idea the more it doesnt sit right, unless there's one hell of an apocolyptical storyline from start to finish, we've been here, we've done that, and with Spike taking in Angels soulful shoes, shoes that were not overly missed (never liked the guy till last season of his show), it looks like Joss just had a big ole file full of old ideas that were never good enough to make it into the first 3-4 seasons. Let's hope this is more of a reinvention than simply a rehash of what we've seen before, and please, for the love of god, will some one kill Dawn?! Oh you might as well kill Anya too, but first they should take each others clothes off, rub each other down with oil, and pull out the toys for a no holds barred lesbian sexual romp, with Willow as the scantily clad ref, who might just have to come in there and do it herself...

  • Sept. 22, 2002, 1:29 p.m. CST

    Oh and Faith rocks!

    by FromHell

    Faith would be the best frikkin slayer ever, she's more complex than Buffy, more interesting, more believable, and hot, hot hot! Eliza Dushka would be a slayer i could realy get my teeth into, cos lets face it, Buffy comes off as kind of the generic hero a lot of the time, she does what's right, she stands up for good, blah blah blah, Gellars had her day as Slayer, now it's time to put the skinny girl to rest and let a real woman get on with the whoopass! If Faith is to be the new slayer it has to be set somewhere else though, SUNNYDALE IS DEAD! Close the hellmouth, kill the scoobs (exept Willow and Spike and Giles), let Faith go back to the swamplands of the south, that would be so god damned cool, a slayer that actualy goes off set to film...

  • Sept. 22, 2002, 2:43 p.m. CST

    Hey Wait One Darn Second

    by NYC*Girl

    My name happens to be skyler(actually with an Skylar) and its the best name ever!!!!!

  • Sept. 22, 2002, 3:46 p.m. CST

    Ooops, my bad...

    by FromHell

    were did i get that idea from? she did "rassle" gators though, anyway it's a cool idea innit?

  • Sept. 22, 2002, 9:23 p.m. CST

    Skyler is a girls name...

    by mAD~mOD

    not the name of a star quarterback it's Johnny(not Skyler)Unitas,Kurt(not Skyler)Warner,Warren(not Skyler)Moon, or even Quincy(not Skyler)Carter. Not even the kickers are name Skylar. Basic rules of sports: 1)no crying in baseball 2)no Skylar's in football (cause it's a girl's name)

  • Sept. 22, 2002, 11:44 p.m. CST

    About Spike and Xander

    by RogueScribner

    I read the casting sides and they seem more than chummy in that episode. Xander and Spike are riffing like Xander and Oz used to or even Xander and Angel. From that scene I read I didn't get any sense of animosity or reservation about working with each other. Huh? How do we go from Xander going after Spike with an ax and bitterly letting slip about the AR to Dawn to the Xander and Spike Happy Hour? In episode 6! Is Xander so forgiving that Spike has a clean slate with him because of his soul? Is Spike such a puppy now that he and Xander are going to be best friends? What the hell is going on???!!! Maybe it'll play differently in the episode. And maybe some understanding between them two will be reached prior to 7.6, but it seems like ME is going a little far in trying to bring back the light and funny. It still has to make sense in the context of what has transpired so far. Oy. L8r

  • Sept. 22, 2002, 11:54 p.m. CST

    Skyler Warner, Skyler Carter, Skyler Unitas and Skyler Moon aren

    by SallyHousecoat

  • Sept. 23, 2002, 7:41 a.m. CST

    the First Evil.

    by h'biki

    I've got a feeling that the First Evil is the Big Bad of S7. It just seemed so... throwaway, for such a rockin' concept. (Although Glory reminded me of the FE). To me, it seemed like a plant. By S3 Joss knew he had a future for Buffy, so he began hinting towards futures (Evil Willow, Gei Willow, Hero Angel, etc.) for the series. The First Evil would make sense in terms of the prophecy that Buffy is the most important Slayer of them all AS WELL as the prophecies about a vampire with a soul helping win a coming apocolypse. i've got a feeling Whedon might have been planning the big end of Buffy (the series) for a long time now... what if a vampire with a soul does play a big part? And what if he painted himself into a corner and has had to make Spike said Vamp? Doesn't necessarily explain the parallel storylines.. btu I have fait in the writing team to reinvent the tired - afterall, that's been Buffy's modus operandi since the beginning.

  • Sept. 23, 2002, 2 p.m. CST


    by auroraleigh has the wildfeed spoiler up! I couldn't resist and I'll just say WOW. Back to the beginning takes on a whole new meaning.

  • Sept. 23, 2002, 4:26 p.m. CST

    Shark Alert! Shark Alert!

    by The Hawk

    Maybe last season, this fine show DID jump the proverbial shark. I've seen past repeats, and comparing them and last season to what I've heard so far about this coming season, perhaps its time that they hang up the wooden spikes after this year and just let Buffy and the gang move on in their careers. I just don't know WHERE the shark came up and bit them in the hiney (Behave yourselves), but my vote is Spike and Anya's you know what. On the other hand, it will be interesting to see what will happen with Buffy, Dawn, and Faith later in the season. Stinky and Rusty Rat are waiting out to Faith's return. But do we HAVE TO HAVE Buffy and an evil football player get together? The main thing I want to see is for Joss Whedon to finally sort out the show's internal mythology WITHOUT what we got from the X-Files finale and for all the Genius TV Producer-guys to quit pulling a David E. Kelley. One more thing about a different show: Should The Simpsons finally call it quits?

  • Sept. 23, 2002, 7:55 p.m. CST


    by FromHell

    stop with all the first evil crap, it was just some spook that claimed big and was laughed out of town by the scoobs no problem, it sucked, it blew, it was weak and feeble, it doesnt come close to the menace of the Master, or many other villians on the show, so forget it, it's a bad idea!

  • Sept. 23, 2002, 8:12 p.m. CST

    The first evil....

    by thewoodpecker

    I just finished watching the finale of season 4, and i got to wondering... Let's say that the b ig bad this season is the First Evil. What if the FE isn't trying to destory the world or kill Buffy so to speak. What if he is thrying to take away the Slayers' powers forever. Isn't part of the slayer mythos that a part of the FE (Satan? Lucifer?) was taken and put into a human girl. This part is given to each slayer as she is called. Evidently it stays with her as Buffy keeps dying and returning. What if he is trying to get that power back? How would the world defend itself? Just a thought.

  • Sept. 23, 2002, 8:21 p.m. CST

    I hope its better than it sounds

    by cooper2000

    After last seasons horrible season I hope its going to get better but the plot of this episode sounds kinda dumb. Did they really need to go back to Sunnydale High for more Ideas?

  • Sept. 23, 2002, 9:52 p.m. CST

    Saw wildfeed, Except for Dawn I liked it.

    by warlock411

    The chemistry between the old gang is still there. Lets just hope Dawn gets killed tyhis year. has an interview with Noxon ( who I dont like ) that puts out feelers for Dawn the Vampire Slayer of maybe Faith the Vampire Slayer. Lets just hope its Faith.