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BEYOND BORDERS -- New Jolie flick - beyond boring'
Hey folks, Harry here... I'm no fan of Martin Campbell's or Angelina Jolie... However, I'm really pulling for Clive Owen to make it with a series or really great movies, as I loved him in CROUPIER and am fond of those BMW shorts he did, but this film sounds like a complete waste of time... Of course it is early in the process and much can be changed... But reading these two brutal reviews, you wonder if enough can change to make us care... Here's Caller from LA...
Title: Beyond Borders
Leads: Angelina Jolie, Clive Owen
Director: Martin Campbell (GoldenEye, Vertical Limit)
Writer: Caspian Treadwell-Owen (first credit)
Minor spoilers in the first half of the review.
Summary: Someone needs to write a great story about the group of humanitarians known as 'Doctors Beyond Borders' (msf.org). We need a 'Philadelphia'-style film for this fine organization. This Jolie-flick is not it. It should have a wonderful message, but that speck of goodness gets lost in a poor, poor story. Avoid this film, even as a matinee or DVD rental.
Plot: Jolie is married in 1980's England. Jolie learns about the world's ills from doctor Clive. Jolie helps Clive and his gang in Ethiopia. Jolie comes home, makes a son, and finds husband cheating on her. Jolie helps Clive and gang in Cambodia, learns Clive is smuggling guns with his medical supplies, sleeps with him. Jolie comes home, makes a daughter, learns that Clive is in trouble in Chechnya. Jolie goes to Chechnya to find Clive.
Extreme plot holes exist in story. Why does female lead like jerk gun-smuggling male lead? Why did female lead get married in first place? Why does female lead leave children behind to help jerk male lead? Why does sister tell female lead there is 'good news', when it turns out male lead is kidnapped, and presumed dead. Ending becomes laughable.
Strengths:
- The cinematographer (???) really met the challenge to display multiple locations to the audience. Ethiopia is brilliant gem-blues and sandy-oranges. Cambodia is drab-green and muddy-brown. Chechnya is a hard blue-shade with grays. Colors, textures, and weather all represented well on film. Unfortunately, it was a stretch for the story to make it to all these places, but once the camera was there, the cinematographer proved her skill.
- About 30 seconds of action in Chechnya. Really well-done, great sound effects. Once again, unfortunately, way too much of a stretch to make the action happen. Jolie finds Clive tied up in a well-guarded camp. At that MOMENT in time, bombs begin to drop. Jolie frees Clive, and they make it out of a cabin in the NICK of time. At exactly that MOMENT again, the bombs stop dropping.
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Major spoilers follow.
For the filmmakers of Beyond Borders, please answer me these questions:
- Did you mean to make a romantic comedy out of a complex dramatic situation? If not, then why the love scenes, and why the punchlines?
- Do you really think the leads would sex it up right after the death of their best friend, on a death march through the jungle, while saving a village of people?
- Why did you not follow the complexity of Clive's character? He is compelled to smuggle guns in order to save lives - a REAL conflict! Instead, you resolve it with...a hug?
- Casting: Does the female lead and her sister look ANYTHING alike?
- A request: Act 3 begins at the 110 minute mark. Get an editor.
- Why does Clive stare at his daughter through the window of her house for the last 50 seconds of the film? Why doesn't his daughter yell, "Who is this weird guy stalking me?" We were yelling, "Fade out! Fade out goddamnit!"
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Note: No release date. HSX gamers currently estimate an opening weekend of $1.7 million. Other people previously attached to the film were Oliver Stone, Cat Zeta-Jones, Meg Ryan, and Kevin Costner.
Cheers,
--Caller From L.A.
P.S. The LA Opera's new production of The Girl of the Golden West sucked too. I walked out after the first act...even though Placido Domingo - the man - was performing. Well, see ya at Rules of Attraction at the Egyptian.
And then here is an out and out filleting of the flick..
Hey guys, I just went to what I am told is the first test screening of BEYOND BORDERS. Oh boy, I am going to tell you right now, this is not going to be a fair review at all. This is an out-and-out stoning of that film.
My friend, the Scrubbing Bubble told me earlier this week "We're going to see BEYOND BORDERS with Clive Owen and Angelina Jolie!" I was mildly interested. An actor I like and an actress I don't, but at least it's an Oliver Stone movie, isn't it? "No, Oliver Stone dropped out of the project long ago. This is directed by... is it Roger Donaldson? No wait, it's Martin Campbell." Martin Campbell. Whenever I hear about him, I'm reminded of that line in SAY ANYTHING about championing mediocrity. The guy is a hack. He has directed one good shot in his life (the opening shot of NO ESCAPE, which is then worthless as of shot two and on). So it was pretty obvious this film was not going to be very good. But the Scrubbing Bubble had read the script and liked it and had just watched OUT OF AFRICA earlier today to get in the spirit... he'd never seen it before and didn't like it. Me, I know better tha! n to bother watching OUT OF AFRICA.
Well, anyway, we went to go see the movie, standing outside in line (perfect that it's the first day since I came to LA that it started raining). We get in, the movie starts, and... well, it's hard to tell just how bad the movie is going to be by the way it begins. It seems like it might just be an insipid, tedious movie that tries to seem really important and really romantic, but the message about how bad it is over in other countries is just an excuse for great sex disguised as love... you know, like THE ENGLISH PATIENT. Oh, but little did I realize the monumental ineptness and pretension that laid waiting for us in further reels.
This movie follows Sarah (played by Angelina Jolie in her stab the same sort of arrogant "nobly flawed" Meg Ryan has been subjecting us to for the last few years), who has just gotten married to a dull Englishman who belongs to a rich family, who watches at a foreign aid benefit as Nick Callahan (Clive Owen, hopefully not following in Kevin Spacey's footsteps towards preachy overly-sentimental movies) bursts in with a young starving Ethiopian child and chastises all of them for not giving more of a shit about the people starving in Ethiopia. Like, two scenes later, Sarah is packing up to head to Ethiopia herself to save the nation's famine-stricken population. She arrives at Nick's camp and flutters around like an angel sent to save them all, specifically picking out one child who Nick was sure was doomed, but with Sarah's love, of course the child miraculously survives... The whole while, she and Nick constantly stare at each other really ! hard, and teach each other the power of compassion in ways neither could have come to on their own. Why does no one else realize how important it is that we save these people? Why are we the only two people saintly enough in this world to really really care?
You get the idea, don't you? This is Hollywood preaching about how you, the viewer, don't care enough to do anything to help out those in need... like, say, those Hollywood producers who need you to buy tickets to this movie so that they can make their next payment on their house, Porsche, yacht and second Porsche. As you watch the scenes set in Ethiopia, watching these starved women and children on screen, you can help but picture them between takes, looking longingly at the craft service table while the above-the-line talent retreats to their air-conditioned trailers and get on their cell phones, calling their agents to say "Never put me in a movie like this again. Do you know how fat all these extras are making me look? I've got to figure out what diets they are on..."
Honestly, this is a social commentary movie with a lot less on it's mind. The early shots lights to show off Angelina Jolie's knockers foreshadow the "romance" that is the real focal point of this film. At the mid-point of the movie, taking place in Cambodia, after Sarah and Nick sees their good friend Eddie (Noah Emmerich) shot to death after he rushes to throw away a live grenade that an infant has just pulled the pin on (can we say "ugh?" The Scrubbing Bubble actually tells me that the baby with the grenade is the only thing held over from the draft of the script he had read, and that the circumstances around it were entirely different.), they meet up in a remote grassy area of some temple ruins (the fakest set in the movie). Well actually Nick is sitting alone crying in the rain about the loss of his friend and Sarah comes around the bend, the rain soaking her black tank top and her nipples showing prominently. Without a wor! d they embrace and begin kissing. And all sadness is gone. Honestly, there is no hint whatsoever that they have just lost a friend or anything. They begin to have a pretty graphic sex scene (without nudity), where they are suddenly violently rolling around in the fake grass, Sarah moaning "OH GOD! YEAH!" as Nick sticks the dickens in her. The scene is played entirely for eroticism, honestly looking like a strange outtake from TOMB RAIDER.
From the moment that Nick and Sarah have consummated their passion, we never see a starving person for the rest of the movie. This, of course, is so that Nick and Sarah's love story will not be diminished by the more important, but nonetheless discarded, subject of the movie. And so, what this movie is telling us on a subconscious level that Nick and Sarah's love (in the form of great sex) has CURED WORLD HUNGER.
Do you get my point? This is the worst kind of bad movie there is. It is entirely joyless, except for the joy you get trashing it after it's over... in fact, the only reason I was inclined enough to sit through the whole movie was so that I could write especially mean comments on the feedback cards (where I got the special opportunity to tell Martin Campbell firsthand to "stop making movies!"). As I made a comment in the theater about consciously wanting to come up with meaner comments for the sheet, many people around me laughed agreeable. And moments later, we listen as the test group people are desperately trying to find couples in the audience who actually liked the movie for the focus group. One exclaimed to her co-worker that she had actually just found two people who had scored the film as "excellent." He seemed impressed. Meanwhile, I was sitting in a full row of "poor" markings, including the Scrubbing Bubbl! e, who leaning over my shoulder just moments ago, insisted that I let everyone know just how much he despised the film as well.
This is a movie that people that some people will love passionately. It's the kind of awful film, like PAY IT FORWARD, that people who don't go to see movies often will think is masterful, and really important, and that those of us who are detractors are just uncaring bastards. Some critics will probably be foolish enough to compare it to David Lean, and I'm sure Martin Campbell would love that... the film purposely tries to cop the looks of LAWRENCE OF ARABIA in the Ethiopian half, BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI in the Cambodian half and DOCTOR ZHIVAGO in the Chechnyan half (completely with Jolie's cute little hat). Note, yes, as I just pointed out, this movie is so overlong that it actually has three halves. When asked on the feedback sheet whether the film moved too slowly in any parts, I put it like this, "A movie this bad could not possibly be short enough."
Stay at home, rent THREE KINGS on DVD, hope that Clive Owen someday makes another film as good as CROUPIER and hope that Martin Campbell (and Angelina Jolies for that matter) never make another film again.
This is The Keen Guy.
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See 80s British TV show called
(I think) edge of darkness.
Both Goldeneye and Zorro zip along at a fair pace.
He may not be up their with Mcteirnan or Cameron, but I'd say on a good day, with the right script, he could come close to Andrew Davis.
But the script sounds lame. Another pointless love story, anyone think Proof of Life would have worked better if the focus was more on David Morse and not Meg Ryan ? -
I'm not sure why Jolie is considered a star, given that she ahs not appeared in a half decent film (as far as I'm aware) and doesn't have much box office pulling power. This movie sounds like absolute garbage, and if its anything like the (ugh) English Patient, I'll stay well clear. Will it be nominated for best picture? Why not, it's got the 'big issue', epicness, lovers in foreign land.... if English Patient can, anyone can.
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There's Jolie talk afoot...
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Also Beyond Barnes & Noble. Support your local independant bookstore. Thank you. sk
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Man, I hated Croupier with a passion, so it's hard to figure how to take these reviews. Well, not really since I probably won't go see the film even if it turns out to be pretty good. Maybe I'll download a screener, though.
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While I don't dispute that BB is a wounded duck of a movie (Martin Campbell? Angelina Jolie? A sordid history of talent dropping in and out is never a good sign), I'll take these opinions with a grain of salt. Why? Both OUT OF AFRICA and ENGLISH PATIENT were terrific pics (both Best Picture winners) and brought a lot of romance back into movies and set the stage for TITANIC. Oh you guys know, romance, right? Love between men and women? The stuff that makes the world go around? You know all about that, right?
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Let's not start equating Oscar winning with quality.
That over-long piece of shit *Titanic* won an Oscar. Along with the overrated *Gladiator*. -
Based on what people are saying about it anyway
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She is still the girl of Cyborg 2
Well, she is less sexy now, but you know -
Sep 06, 2002 12:02:42 PM CDT
Regardless of her acting talent (or lack thereof), a fine lady w
by modern_achilles
I heard some people state that they were repulsed by the thought of anal sex on a previous Angelina Jolie talk back. I mean, sure, I'm not a total ass-monkey like HP over there, but I still wouldn't say no to Angelina's or Kirsten Dunst's fine booty (yeah, Kirsten loves it that way too). I even read someone state that they broke up with their girlfriend simply because she wanted to take it up the ass, and he wouldn't, and I quote: "go that far". What the fuck?!! BE A MAN! BE DOMINANT! BE SADISTIC! If some uber-babe demands some kinky, rough lovin', who are you to refuse her? Anyway, my girlfriend is a Nicole Kidman lookalike (think "Days of Thunder", not "Moulin Rouge"), and whenever she's in the mood for some backdoor action, I simply do what I have to do, period.
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Sep 06, 2002 12:02:54 PM CDT
Regardless of her acting talent (or lack thereof), a fine lady w
by modern_achilles
I heard some people state that they were repulsed by the thought of anal sex on a previous Angelina Jolie talk back. I mean, sure, I'm not a total ass-monkey like HP over there, but I still wouldn't say no to Angelina's or Kirsten Dunst's fine booty (yeah, Kirsten loves it that way too). I even read someone state that they broke up with their girlfriend simply because she wanted to take it up the ass, and he wouldn't, and I quote: "go that far". What the fuck?!! BE A MAN! BE DOMINANT! BE SADISTIC! If some uber-babe demands some kinky, rough lovin', who are you to refuse her? Anyway, my girlfriend is a Nicole Kidman lookalike (think "Days of Thunder", not "Moulin Rouge"), and whenever she's in the mood for some backdoor action, I simply do what I have to do, period.
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I like that. This movie looks awful. And it's got nothing to do with how we perceive romance films, RENATA. It's got to do with poorly thought-out and poorly executed films. There's some irony in coming to a talkback and criticizing ALL talkbackers tastes -what makes you so much better? Anyway, Angelina and her ass - good stuff. Angelina's ta-tas - good stuff. Angelina's lips, hair, eyes - good stuff. Angelina's acting talent - the stuff of nightmares. I mean, make some better choices girl! What's with this schmaltzy shit? This, and that piece of shit with Ed Burns? What the fuck?
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Sep 06, 2002 12:53:06 PM CDT
Martin Campbell, director of "The Mask of Zorro", a hack!?
by hammer2fall
I'm sorry, but no. Just....no. (watches Goldeneye again) Nope.
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Thats not what he meant. He means because of her performance in Original Sin she SHOULD give the Oscar back. Because Original Sin is of such severe shiteness that no amount of tits and ass can save it. Although I'd much rather give it to AJ in the pussy, I'd have no worry about giving her ass a good banging.
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Sep 06, 2002 2:50:44 PM CDT
Angelina Jolie hasn't made a decent movie since "Girl, Inter
by cooldan989
..so it's no surprise to me that that Beyond Borders is going to be beyond crap. Since her and Billy Bob are splitsville, maybe Freddie Prinze. Jr would be up her alley? Billy Bob was way too successful for her.
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didn't you all read the manual?
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I should have known I would find you here going on and on about Angelinas ass. I respect your opinion on anal sex, but the idea is just to disgusting for me, no matter how fine the outside of Ms Jolies ass is, the fact remains that the inside of it is no different than anyone elses. Oh, I also had a question, since I'll never know for myself, when your doing that, if the girl farts, do you experience some kind of extra sensation? Can you smell it?
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There's a lot of hostility going from Harry to Angelina Jolie. In fact, young man, you seem to be stopping just short of calling her the female Freddie Prinz Jnr ! Checking her performances in say, Hackers & The Bone Collector to choose two at random...I'd say you're way off base. Gone in 60 Seconds and Tomb Raider were pretty good entertainment too. So, why the hostility ? Prinz, I can undrstand, subscribe to and even contribute to, as the mood takes, Jolie....I'm mystified. Anyhow, the question....due to your anti Jolieness of late, would you have put these reviews up if they were positive ?
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...from crude quality of the above posts, that the AICN audience is NOT the audience for this movie. Guess what? There are a lot of people who love OUT OF AFRICA and THE ENGLISH PATIENT, and if this movie is anything like those I will be first in line and so will Academy voters. For the rest of you, have no fear. FAST AND FURIOUS 2, XXX2, JEEPERS CREEPERS2, and LOTR2 will be out soon. In the meantime, BLADE2 should be out on video any day. So kick back with your Xbox and relax while the rest of us enjoy the grown-up movies.
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that's funny.
but nah man. those movies did blow. just as much as fast and the furious 2 will. i think you're kinda off there. -
Is this urban legend, or did she say it in that Rolling Stone interview?
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Very funny pan of "Beyond Borders." It might have been something I would've rented so thanks for the heads up. And thanks for mentioning "3 Kings" because I think people should see that movie on DVD (or even video). It was such a shame that Hollywood and the Academy DIDN'T GIVE A DAMN about that movie.
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I really dug these reviews, especially Caller from LA. Cool how he separated it into minor & major spoilers cause I always appreciate that-- in reviews and in the talkbacks.
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Sep 07, 2002 6:22:25 PM CDT
Angelina Jolie a great ass? Are you out of your mind?
by chiknfriedelfsac
Angelina Jolie has a gangly awkward body. Did you see Gia? She's padded in Tomb Raider. She has weird gangly shoulders which remind me of former Boston Celtic great Kevin Mchale. She is wide-waisted and has virtually no hips. Her ass is flat and square. A great ass? If you like prepubescent boys I guess. Watch Gia again. She's been nude in other movies but that movie illustrates it fully. Her boobs are real, but really a bit on the saggy side, not bad certainly, but nothing special. Her lips are real too, but they're a bit too much, let's face it. Not to mention all the trashy tatoos and freakish behavior. Having said that, in her own way, she's still hot. She has great sexy eyes and great charisma onscreen. But a great body she does not have. As opposed to say, a Kirsten Dunst, who is basically a very slender girl, like Jolie, but actually has very wide hips, almost too wide for her frame. But she has a tiny waist and a WICKED curve to her hips, as well as a nice rack for her size. Of course her appeal is almost totally opposite that of Jolie.
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Sep 08, 2002 3:34:48 PM CDT
GOLDENEYE is the only recent Bond flick that works as a whole
by tall_boy
the other recent Bronsan offerings have only had a scattering of cool moments, but GOLDENEYE actually worked altogether. This has nothing really to do with what will surely be a POS that tanks, but hey, just thought I'd throw that out there . . .
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It's interesting to see you decide what other people think is a nice body. You sit there and freezeframe dvds to check measurements of women so you can approve or disapprove them for the talkbackers?
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AJ used to project a supersexiness and maybe she still can. She is rid of that skank Thornton, thank God. She now needs to do something about the tattoos. Dunst is very sexy in a very different way. As is the former BUFFY costar who now seems to pop up in every grade Z teen grossout comedy flick (although she was Dunst's costar in the mighty fine BRING IT ON). Even the star of the TV show SABRINA has her good points, not the least of which are them pearly whites of hers. Hell, that babe from JEEPERS CREEPERS was pretty hot and she never shed an ounce of clothing. AJ had better watch out. She could easily be left in the dust. She better hope TRII is a vast improvement over TR.
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Lactaeb: yes, the reviewer noted that the film had three halves. That was his way of noting that it was too long. Ha. --------- OK, THE ENGLISH PATIENT sucked. Yes, one man's opinion, but damn, if you put Juliette Binoche (sigh) in a movie, and I don't care what happens next, you have completely failed. I want to take every person who loved the ENGLISH PATIENT and make them watch IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE (which coincidentally, I've been discussing in another talkback.) Watch ITMFL, then try to tell me that TEP isn't an overcooked mess. OK. ----------- Angelina Jolie may well be hot, but she bears a striking resemblance to a friend of mine, who was indeed hot, but completely, overwhelmingly psychotic. Last I heard, she got arrested for walking around naked and holding a knife to her milquetoast boyfriend's throat. Yikes. Hence, Angelina will never be hot for me. I just shrivel right up. Yikes. ----------- What, what, WHAT is the obsession with anal sex? I don't just mean here, I mean everywhere? I have had anal sex exactly once, and I couldn't continue 'cause, swear to God, I can't possibly imagine that it wasn't hurting my girlfriend. No. No no no. Yowch. Anybody wanna clear this one up for me?
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First of all let me just say that i am a huge Angelina Jolie fan. She is one of the most talented actresses out there and so amusing to watch. Secondly, the movie has potential alright. Give it credit and wait to see how it does before prejudging it that way. Thirdly, whoever wrote the second review, speak for yourself,don't make it sound as though the whole world of Beyond Border movie watchers will hate this movie. Thirdly, when writing a review don't give away the whole damn story months before the movie is available to the public. God, i'd like to go watch the movie without knowing every little detail in the movie. And the sex, aint that what everybody's into these day, yes so quit your yabbing and next hopefully next time the man/woman who wrote this review will not write as though he or she had something stuck way to far up their ass that day. So a question for them, since when do reviews tell everything that happens in the movie???
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