Hey folks, Harry here... As Monday afternoon hits - Moriarty - that guy that some of you love and some of you loathe... That evil genius will be relaxing on a tropical isle with a beautiful babe and sipping the sweet nectar of success... while the rest of us gripe about how Hollywood sucks or rules... How Star Wars/Lord of the Rings/Resident Evil/Harry Potter/Warner Brothers/flavor of the month sucks or rocks... Yup... As we all look in that mirror and tell ourselves we're going to make it some day....
Well it looks like Moriarty, the evil genius that he is, used those mental powers of his, or had Mongo get physical with the right guy that couldn't take it... Whatever the case, he got something through.
Now, according to Variety.com, Drew McWeeny and Scott Swan are first timers... Well that ain't exactly true... (I Think) as Internet Movie Database purports to claim that Drew McWeeny and Scott Swan co-wrote the next chapter in the MORTAL KOMBAT series. Of course IMDB has been wrong before, but I've seen that news repeated by many other websites, whether or not it is true or not... I have no clue, as anytime I asked Moriarty - he just waved his hand in front of my eyes and said, "Ice Cream," and I just would walk to the fridge leaving all thoughts of MORTAL KOMBAT 3: DOMINATION behind.
Now we all know that Moriarty claims to use the alias Drew McWeeny for tax purposes and everyday life stuff, but what about this Scott Swan bloke? Is that a real name? Does he exist? Has anyone ever actually met Scott Swan and can vouch that he exists? Or is that Henchman Mongo? I don't know, Scott Swan - given Moriarty's love for PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE - I picture this 'Scott Swan' as a long blonde haired dwarf... or have I already met this Scott Swan, and just can't remember? Hmmmm... The more we can find out about this... 'Swan' fellow, the better... We'll be working up reports about this guy's childhood, find out what nefarious ties he has with Moriarty. Hmmmm.... One source just reported in that this "Scott Swan" is none other than Scott Swan the Bassist for the Italian Heavy Metal band called TYTON! Is this right? If so, how did Moriarty hook up with this 'italian stallion'?
Now according to Variety this is what we know about it:
Described as an ensemble sci-fi actioner set in the real world, pic centers on real-life military research to create metabolically enhanced soldiers.
Now as any reader of AICN knows, Moriarty has been doing genetic and metabolic research on Henchman Mongo (Scott Swan?) for the past half-decade, perhaps reading over those posts could hold some secrets to this project, which sounds a tad like UNIVERSAL SOLDIER meets CAPTAIN AMERICA meets HOGAN'S HEROES? I'm not sure. Maybe I'm reading a bit much into the whopping whole SENTENCE of information regarding this project. I just wish it had something to do with THE CRIPPLED AVENGERS from 1978, now that movie kicked a lot of ass!
Variety seemed to be pressuring Moriarty into quitting AICN to do this movie, but seemingly fear of angry talkbackers and what they would do to his career if he left them to my illiteracie is keeping him on board.
Also VARIETY seems to have read Moriarty's review of Dreamworks' THE RING this weekend.... Can any of you tell me where this review is, is Moriarty posting invisible stories again? Did Variety read the rest of the 90's list too? Yo Marc Graser - drop me a link bro!
All I can say to Moriarty and the alleged "Scott Swan" is write a good film.... OR ELSE WE'LL RIP YOU TO SHREDS YOU BLOATED SELLOUTS!!!