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xXx Review
You know how everything is a bit over the top in THE BIG LEBOWSKI? You know how some powerful rich guy involves a man that does his own thing, his own way and does it for nobody but himself, then makes that guy do his thing?
Now – imagine a high testosterone ball sweat soaked flick about a chiseled tattooed Adonis that doesn’t care about anything but the freedom to do as he pleases. To be his own man, to pursue his own whims. Right out of the start gate we learn that Xander Cage, his friends call him X, does his own thing. Think of Xander as a cross between Snake Plissken - The Dude - um... and well Vin Diesel.
Imagine an Extreme Sports God that watched JACKASS and thought… I CAN BEAT THAT! Now, for my money, I want to see the XANDER ZONE show on TV for real. I want to see him punish Jack Valenti and the voting members of the MPAA. I want to see Xander unleashed on Joe Lieberman and Jesse Helms. I want to watch Xander bring down Televangelists and revisit their hypocrisy a thousand fold upon them. The aggressive guerilla terrorist against the corporate asses that brought us the disasters at ENRON and well… you get the idea. The idea for his show is fantastic. A non-violent domestic televised and internet distributed extreme exhibitionist terrorist against modern hypocrisy.
There was something truly beautiful about that. It is in this opening introduction to Xander Cage that you really get to be brought into the charisma bubble of cool that is Vin Diesel. He’s looking dead into camera and telling a self-righteous political asshole that … well… essentially… “THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!” Now he doesn’t put it that eloquently, but then this wasn’t written by the Coen Brothers… THE MIND REELS AT THAT THOUGHT!
Once he’s brought into the fold of America’s Spies and Spy training… Well, all I can say is… hehehehe… The movie has entered an insane place.
Now, it is at this point in the film… Immediately after the Diner scene where you have to ask yourself if you believe in the Xander Zone. Do you believe?
Do you believe that Vin Diesel can defy the laws of physics as handed down by underpaid High School teachers throughout the ages? Do you believe that Vin Diesel’s mere physical contact with a normal dirt bike, can transform it into an unbreakable super machine able to leap tall buildings… make that exploding tall buildings… in a single bound? Do you believe good guys can say shit to Danny Trejo and not immediately get killed without hesitation? You see… Xander Cage is a legendary eXXXtreme sports star that decided not to sellout. He’s taken his SUPERHUMAN skills and instincts into the world where he can push further than even Extreme Sports will allow. He’s 2 x’s further than anyone else on the planet and he eats coal and shits diamonds. He is a badass.
If you can buy that. If you’re willing to believe in Xander Cage and Vin Diesel, then XXX is going to be one helluva fun ride. It was for me, in fact I’m seeing it again tomorrow night, and ya know what… I’ll probably take a friend this weekend. Is it worth a triple view? Well, Vin Diesel is that cool for me. Vin makes me hate genetics, he’s that complete fantasy action hero thing. He isn’t overbuilt like Arnie, or steroid pumped like Stallone. Instead… he reminds me of one of my all time favorite comic book heroes… Richard Corben’s DEN from the NEVERWHERE series – which most of you are most familiar from the small sequence from HEAVY METAL. I’ll discuss that later on.
Now, if this movie was just Vin Diesel doing a lot of cool impossible shit… well, that would be enough for me, but there are 3 other actors that I like in XXX beyond the fact that Vin Diesel owns planet Earth in my book.
1. Sam “That’s a small price to pay for putting foot to ass for my country” Jackson. Ok, Sam Jackson is simply the only man on this planet that I would 100% buy telling Vin Diesel what to do. I can see Sam simply unhinging and schooling Vin at any second, throughout the movie. I mean, think about it. Have you ever thought of M as anything other than some fucking paper pusher? Not me. Sam seems genuinely delighted to have a new action figure that might kick one third of the ass that he once did. That scarred face, that milky eye… There’s furious anger buried beneath his smiling cool exterior. He knows what to do and how to do it. I love Sam in this film. Big surprise eh?
2. Marton “Now we can Party!” Csokas. Now, he’s a little known actor from New Zealand (magic country you might have heard of) and you probably remember him from the tiny part of Celeborn – that guy standing to Cate Blanchette’s right as the fellowship meets her the first time in FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGS. Now, he didn’t really give off much personality in that film, but in XXX – he has some fun. He isn’t the cackling rule the world sort of guy. He doesn’t believe anybody should rule anything. He’s an anarchist, which is different from those nihilists, those bastards don’t believe in anything, he believes in anarchy… Gives him an ethos, so he isn’t totally evil. He believes the only way to hit the reset button on humanity, where we can all experience true freedom, is to tear it all apart. Just tear down the walls, the governments and the bullshit that tells you not to cross anywhere but at fucking crosswalks. That tell you that when you park at those damn poles, you have to put money in. This is a bad guy with something I can get behind. Ripping up the hypocrisy of the world through the deaths of a few major population centers and the beginning of a real world wide war… Well… that might be taking it a bit too far, but hey… I respect the message. Marton does a good job with the character of Yorgi.
Now Yorgi’s mates… the brotherhood of Anarchy 99… well, they kinda rule in a loser sort of way too. When you hear Yorgi’s brother call out to a hole in the wall at this one club… “BITCHES COME!!!” I just couldn’t help but flash to the beautiful mirrored line from the lovely Clarence Boddicker, all those years ago when those sweet lips of his pursed up and said, “BITCHES LEAVE!!!” There was something classic and cool about the inflection of both lines. Something hilariously misogynistic, yet despite that… cool and fun. Something so politically wrong that it ruled. Now I don’t want to get your hopes up, the dialogue in this film isn’t all at that high standard, some of it is merely witty and downright clunky – that last cigarette line of Vin’s comes to mind. But there are some lovely bright moments.
And then…
3. Asia Argento -- Now I’ve read the impotent comments of some monkeys in Quint’s interview talkback that don’t get what the big deal is about Asia Argento. I believe I remember one stud’s comment that he’s “BANGED” hotter chicks than her. Well… Whether or not his dreams are reality or not, I will not go into here, but I will say this… 10 to 1… I bet you 10 to 1 that if you ever got Asia Argento in the sack, she’d show you some things that’d put inches on your dick and hair on your chest. Now, I have no basis for this. Well, ok… Maybe it is just that her Dad is Dario Argento, which makes her just intuitively cooler than most of the ‘babes’ we see in film. I mean, here’s a girl that feels at home making GORE & HORROR films… She’s into cool things and we know it. She has a killer accent. She is hot, not in that beautiful All-American girl way, but in that European way. Watching her eyes in this film, you just can’t help but be captured by their animalistic hunger. Her eyes have thoughts behind them and while I can’t be sure… I get the funny feeling, she ain’t thinking about baking cookies and cakes – NOT THAT THERE IS A DAMN THING WRONG WITH THOSE THOUGHTS MIND YOU! – but she’s got lascivious carnalities running behind those eyes. There are moments in this film where I get the idea that she is a cat toying with Vin Diesel, that this would be a girl that could get away with clawing him a bit… drawing a little blood and licking her paw. She was conceived by and during the conception of DEEP RED and was a wandering tot on the sets of SUSPIRIA and DAWN OF THE DEAD. So, Mr. Stud that’s banged hotter chicks, though I doubt it, but you have never banged a cooler chick, because frankly… Asia Argento is as cool a gal as has ever drawn breath. And you pick that up in this movie.
How are the stunts?
Well the stunts in XXX are extreme to the point of near disbelief. They are amazing, they are cool, they do kick lots of ass and make James Bond look tired by comparison. However, when you watch Xander Cage doing his Motorcycle acrobatics… I can’t help but think how much cooler Steve McQueen was in THE GREAT ESCAPE doing those types of stunts… but without computers, without wires and safety harnesses… There is something in the back of my head in modern films that always makes me aware of the fact that what I could be looking at is Animation. Whether or not it is or not… I’m just aware that it could be unreal. It is unfair to modern films, but it is a part of being a viewer in the modern age of fantastic digital wonders… you don’t have to wonder how they did it… you just think… DAMN COMPUTERS ARE COOL.
Having said that, as I watched I let myself believe in the moment that this was what was happening. That the mystical superhuman Vin Diesel badass power from beyond was allowing him to have the abilities far beyond those of mortal man. That’s fine, that’s cool… and I love that. You’ll see stunts and explosions bigger and more in your face than you’ve seen before.
I also love the ‘special bullets’ and the gadgets. I love that Vin’s spy car is a muscle car that is all offensive. I also love that he loves putting himself in danger. There’s something vaguely Errol Flynn about it. Something Douglas Fairbanks mixed with that thuggish ‘whatever’ he presents himself with.
Also – the clubs in this film rule. I want to go to a club that has gigantic lightning bolts being thrown about as a band plays. I want that BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN Lab Set Club. That’s just fucking cool. I dug the hell out of that. I mean, I can imagine getting seriously fucked up and happy in that club. TOO COOL.
Now, what didn’t I like?
Well, I would have loved to have this film be even more chaotic. I didn’t want to see Vin at the end of the film doing what Vin was doing. I wanted to see him right back out there putting the FUCK YOU to ‘the man’. This was too… Bond-like, and I’m tired of those endings. This guy isn’t for relaxing, he’s about reckless endangerment and high quality balls on the line acts of insanity with singular cool purpose. Question Authority and rub their face in shit! That’s Xander Cage, and that’s how he should go out with these films.
Two – The car chase. How does the guy that directed THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS and those balls-exploding car chases make a car – cooler than any car in that film btw – seem slow? When they had to out-pace that thing they had to out-pace – we should have felt MACH 12. I mean, the audience should have had HIGHWAY HAIR, like we did after that last Semi-Run in THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS. Now how that scene ended… Tres Cool. However, the pursuit was limp… and beneath this director.
Overall though… this movie was just fun. Pure fun. Don’t take it seriously, don’t bring physics into play, and don’t think a whole helluvalot about what is going on. This film is about VIN DIESEL BEING THE BAD ASS THAT HE IS!
Now that my review is over… As a public service to Geeks everywhere, I’m going to formally suggest that Vin Diesel – or some enterprising producer type get the rights to Richard Corben’s NEVERWHERE graphic novel and produce the film starring Vin Diesel as DEN. Vin loves Dungeons & Dragons and Fantasy – He’d stab two forks into this story and feast. I’ve included several images below to inspire the uninspired. Vin Diesel is DEN and I’d see that film over and over and over and over again. I mean, massive love. This is the R-rated hot as hell Fantasy project starring Vin Diesel that I want to see!!! Here ya go…
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Normally I would never see a summer action movie, but this movie looks o putrageous I think I might have to. Although the comment how computers are cool I don't neccesarily agree with. I'm going to school to learn computer aniamtion and special effects and believe me, computers are useless without a smart person using them. They are a tool that a skilled craftsmen can do some incredible stuff with. Special effect guys are cool, not computers.
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Aug 08, 2002 4:25:58 AM CDT
Ahhhhh YEEEAAAH! Reign of Fire (boring) 8-Leggeed Freaks (snore)
by chuckrussel
'nuff said!
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yeah!
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Damn, I would like to see Vin in XXX.Too bad I live in Holland where it's coming out in october! Vin as Den would also be awsome. Everything the man touches turns gold. There are only two people who rule even more then him. Of course Sam Jackson and our own Rutger Hauer. Watch him in George Clooney's Confessions of a dangerous mind and be amazed!!
Im i am out now. Going to buy FOTR finally... -
HE STILL CAN'T ACT!! That's the problem with hollywood which Harry and a lot of people in general seem to ignore/forget. They complain about shitty movies that come out of Hollywood, but embrace the shitty talent being shoveled into movies like XXX and Summer Catch. That's right: Vin Diesel is Freddie Prinze Jr. with muscles. Both have marketable names in different demographics but neither can act. All they do is bring people into the theatre. If people who complain about lousy movies want a real improvement they can't have their cake and eat it too. It's one or the other folks: Either good movies with people who can act but who aren't as "cool" as Vin Diesel or crap movies with people who have big muscles and can't act to save their lives.
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I was hopin' there would be a TB for the LOTR DVD so I could address you all with my question, but nada', so here goes. The scene where the Fellowship is paddling down (or up) the Great River (Chp. stop 35 around 2:26:20); things just seem different about it. I saw the film plenty of times on the big screen and just recently about 4 weeks ago at The Music Hall in Portsmouth, NH as a part of their summer film series, so the film is pretty fresh in my head. When Saruman's evil henchman appear and are on foot running parallel with the Fellowship who are still in the water, I seem to remember that being edited differently. I remember hard cross-cutting back and forth between them both. But on the DVD it is a series of dissolves back and forth and for the life of me I just don't remember that. It feels totally different and weird. I really love cross-cutting as a narrative device with the finale of "Silence of the Lambs" when Clarice juxtaposed with the FBI raid arrive at the wrong/right houses being one of the most exemplary. And I remember that scene in LOTR being quite effective. But I don't remember the dissolves and now it just feels different. Anybody else get this? I'm fucking drunk aren't I? And just to play by the rules, uhhh . . . maybe I'll go see xXx. - Fuckles the Clown
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... is that he's got beady little eyes. IMHO those peepers don't belong on the face of an action hero.
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Don't talk out your anus, thats why the guy won MR OLYMPIA.
Arnold has the greatest physique in the history of body building.
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Thank Buddha that Harry gave it a good write-up as I was still wavering about wether to see it or not. But now I wouldn't touch this piece of crap with a 200 foot barge pole. I'm still burning from his Mummy Returns "rave review", for fuck's sake! I wonder, does Harry drink like 10 cups of coffee and 5 pounds of sugar before seeing these films? The Iron Giant was cool. But Vin ... don't do any more films. Please.
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Schwarzenegger won olympia 7 times when body building was at its aethetic height. Arnold is decades older than Vin but could still kick Vins ass with all 4 limbs tied behind his back. He would render Vin unconcious with the biggest schlong in hollywood.
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Aug 08, 2002 6:12:05 AM CDT
HEY!! Wasn't that DEN comic book character featured in the a
by rumpieguy
Peace out.
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I've been saying Vin Diesel was a badass for some time now, and it looks like the world will soon know the power of the Vin. And that dude who said Vin was assistant director or something on Saving Private Ryan: he shot some second-unit footage and stuff because Spielberg was so impressed with Multi-Facial, his directorial debut. So some of the shots you see in SPR are from the hand of Diesel! VIN!
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I couldn't be any less excited about this film, I could care less about super over the top action flicks based on fluff which this film appears to me.
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I mean seriously Vin and Harry buddy up and bust some heads and take no crap from the man..
Harry jumping on his snowboard and tailgating Vin as they are chased by a cgi avalanche..
Then after a hard day saving the world they can take a long shower and slap each others asses with clean white towels as the credits roll..damn I'm starting the script now. -
Asia Argento = BADASS BABE OF THE CENTURY! Thank you Harry for verifying that! She's soooo cool that I could just die. And even though I'm as gay as Ricky Martin, she's one of the two women I'd like to go to bed with (the other is Goddess of Flamboyance, Ms. J-Lo). And Dario Argento is bar non the greatest director alive.
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i also do fantasy art as a sideline to my usual art - cool pics by the way there harry. however theres something quite homoerotic about them... not that that is a bad thing, but i kind of like thinking of vin as a straight guy, or at least thats how he comes across to me. not sure many ladies would go see him in that - but then maybe they would if he is buck nekkid the whole way through!
cant wait to see XXX, probably going to be tacky and bad, but i do love to watch that man and the voice. love it. -
Like the world isn't loud and obnoxious enough. I'd rather see a spy flick with BRAINS, not this fratboy pseudo-macho physics defying bullshit.
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I think I'm the only man alive who is completely tired of the testosterone rush movies. I though Fast and Furious was boring, I think Vin is one ugly, non talent, and I don't want to see this movie. Hey, I got nothing against testosterone rushes (yes, I still have my balls), but watching them does nothing for me. Of course most other guys (Harry) would rather watch a movie with some ape that is doing things (driving cars) which you can just go do, but won't.
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Cool, before too many haters start in I get a chance to say this movie looks great. And I dunno Harry... there better be ten naked female ass shots for every one naked Vin ass shot in your DEN movie. Make that twenty.
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I'm not sure yet whether Vin can act- there were brief glimpses of talent in Pitch Black but hell, even Liv Tyler had her moments in Silent Fall, it proves nothing- but what he does have in spades is screen presense. Don't be lumping him in with the FPJ's of the world.
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Hehehe...as for Vin Diesel, I hea he's somewhat of a bear on set and in negotiations, but all that matters is the final product. LOVE: PITCH BLACK, IRON GIANT, SAVING PRIVATE RYAN; Big Meh: FAST AND THE FURIOUS. Although Vin was good in it, two races and one chase scene does not a car movie make. I think xXx will be great fun, look forward to it. And get thee back To Riddick, Vin, can't wait to see what whacked out place he lands on next.
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....probably takes up a lot of the screen. I'm hoping to see this in an IMAX theater to fit it all in. The guy should make 40 million per film. He's THAT good! That was sarcasm, folks. Harry is right about Asia. She may not be beautiful, but there is a ton of sex appeal there. And her dad being a legend is reason enough to show her the "O" face. Later.
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Is the very same from Heavy Metal (voiced by John Candy), maybe Harry's just sympathetic to characters voiced by disgustingly overweight gentleman facing an early death. There's this new thing they came out with a couple years ago Harry, it's called a salad. Oh, and beside your incredibly trite reviews and suggestions that Vin Diesel move even closer towards gay porn, great site!
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That black guy who plays the good alien in Stargate SG1, Teal'c, or something like that. Of course, he's black, but that doesn't really matter.
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....is a great actress, but that doesn't mean I want to fuck her. Just because Asia Argento's father rocks shouldn't necessarily
mean you should fuck her. I know lots of cool chicks that the thought of fucking makes me sick. Not that it slows me down from hitting on them everytime I'm drunk......... -
Shut your cakehole(s) about John Candy. I have miles of SCTV video at home; Candy's comedy was brilliant. Further, he could star in the shittiest movies but still be hilarious (no matter how wretched the script). You bust his balls because he was fat? Fuck you. His brain was lean and mean. Besides, who gives a rat's ass if he was fat? So was Chris Farley, Jackie Gleason, Sam Kennison, Oliver Hardy, Rodney Dangerfield, Benny Hill, etc, etc, etc, ad nauseum.
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I don't see how pointing out the blatantly obvious observation that John Candy (and Harry Knowles) are disgustingly overweight decries either of their talents... it's more of a fact than anything. Just pointing out the similarities, maybe Harry can get healthy before it's too late. Anyway, you might want to put down the old SCTV tapes and get out of the house once in awhile though, for someone with such an admitted appreciation for comedy, you sure are an angry soul... maybe some fresh air and human interaction will do you good. Have a nice day. PS: Oh, and in the future can you please refrain from lumping Benny Hill in with all those other guys, ya know.. as a personal favor to me and all?
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Okay, who has been sending Harry word of the day toilet paper?
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Let's see if he can act. Grow him some hair and cast him as Shadow in "American Gods". BTW, if I remember correctly, EVERYONE is naked in Den. It's just one of Richard Corben's things. sk
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Vin Diesel was on the Today show talking about how he now has the bankability to do his pet/dream movie, Hannibal the Conquerer! This is an interesting idea, I would love to see what would happen given the right script/director/etc...
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Wow, I'm so flummoxed I don't even know where to begin. Asia Argento "isn't even pretty?" Guys, it certainly can be a cheap shot to mention that your average fanboy wouldn't know what to do with a woman if one suddenly appeared in his pants, but the more you post crap like the above, the more you ask for it. Somebody said this about Natasha Lyonne in another talkback a while ago. I mean, yes, it's all a matter of taste, but why don't you guys simply tattoo "NEVER HAD IT, NEVER WILL" on your foreheads and save the rest of us the trouble of figuring it out from your comments? If Natasha Lyonne, Asia Argento, or any of these "not that hot" women accidentally brushed up against you on the bus, you'd be unable to stand up for a week. C'mon, people, a little realism never hurt anyone.
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Xander's the redneck's James Bond. Not suave, no style, not even a sense of cool. Just an angry guy who likes to make things go boom. Cater to America's lowest common denominator and watch - it'll make a fortune. There are more trailer parks out there than you think....
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I love the Clarence Boddicker reference.
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For once, I agree with Harry. I came to the conclusion that Vin was born to play Den after watching Fast & Furious. Den is a classic underground adult comic book character that came out during the 70s and 80s. Along with Frazetta and Boris, Richard Corben's work was tops and truly original. I'd be surprise that a live action version of Den would have an R rating. More like XXX rating.
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This looks like The Fast and the Furious, but with a better cast. But that's not a bad thing at all, and this looks to be one hell of a movie, and may offer things The Fast and the Furious was never able to offer.
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No!!!!!!!! Say it ain't so!!! Dark Horizons and supermanhomepage.com have this info up. SONOFAHOGFICKBISHLOAD
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god help us.
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for everyone that called me a plant when I posted my xXx review - go F-YOURSELVES! Thanks for a great review Harry - unfortunatly, some people will never be able to just enjoy a movie for what it is...fun!
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I've said it before, this guy is a fucking meathead with a speech impediment. He can not act. He has no style. If this is what passes for cool, I feel very sorry for future generations. And I HATE Schwarzenegger. This is far worse. I'm going back into my child-like cocoon where Ewan McGregor playing Obi Wan is cool enough for me...
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Or something to that affect. The Den story in Heavy Metal is awesome. Man I wish that Heavy Metal 2 hadn't sucked so bad. I always wanted there to be like, 10 of those movies. Anyway, to the guy that asked if Den is always naked, well, for the most part I think he is...walking around with his dork hanging out. And yes, I think Vin would be a great Den. But obviously he would have to keep his dork in check.
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Doesn't anyone here remember why Mission Impossible 2 sucked? XXX should have been rated R, but it's not, so it'll be little more than a cock tease. - - - - - - - - Deisel commands far less acting range than other "fan favorites" around here such as FPJr and Affleck. Can't the guy play anything other than a con, an ex-con, an escaped con in space, etc, etc? Just like FPJr and Affleck, there is little endearing or interesting about Deisel to make me want to see a movie simply 'cause he's in it, unlike the other, more distinguished and talented actioneers Stallone and Ah-nold.
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I only get angry when I have to deal with craptwats like you who sport brains the size of cornnuts. Skinny people die as often as fat people. Healthy people die. Unhealthy people die. Everyone dies. My only wish is that blatently stupid people like you could die and thin the herd a little more.
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I just want to add that I completely ignored all comparisons to The Big Legowski as that is quite possibly the stupidest moive ever made!!! Flame all you want, but if that movie had never been made, no one would miss it. I just don't get all the praise it receives. And I hat that it is gaining a cult following. It is a completely unnecassary addition to the american film pantheon. And in my opinion is actually an insult to it. Terrible FUCKING film! (all typos intentional-I'm in a hurry)
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i know i know....call me a snob, but theres no way in gods green earth that im gonna pay 8.00 to see this!!!!!!!
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Geez. Harsh comments. Talk about shooting the messenger. Harry was expressing an honest opinion which is more than some people have the cojones to do (i.e. every other movie reviewer). You mean little homophobic geeks (not everybody, just the ones that were really harsh) are like the kids that Jay and Bob beat up at the end of J&SB Strike Back. And besides that, anti-heroes kick arse. Its good to a new anti-hero on the big screen. I'd like to see a Xander Cage vs. 007 comic book.
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...when are we going to get over our own hypocrisy and admit that all of us on more than one occasion will not live up to our personal creedo our convictions. If you're going to fault with a particular faith, try doing it on reasonable grounds - find fault in the truth claims, not just the failures of the followers.
By the way, what's with that Den guy wearing snow booties and nothing else? -
Aug 08, 2002 1:43:54 PM CDT
well that tears it, if Harry liked it, you know its going to suc
by inkymae
Armageddon, Godzilla, Reign of Fire. Need I say more? A glowing review from Harry is like stock in Enron. It's worthless.
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Yeah, Harry gets a little graphic in his metaphors, and he admires the male physique, but I don
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Or ve cut off your chonson!
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But a REAL mean motherfucker is on the streets this weekend. Obviously I'm talking Clint "I wouldn't cross the street to spit on a punk like Diesel" Eastwood. Anybody seen 'Blood Work'? That's where I'll be this weekend.
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Harry is supposed to be like best friends with Del Toro and know Ignfilmforce and DArk Horizons have posted that Del Toro is goijng to make a Creature From the Black Lagoon remake!!!! Which is awsome if true but I think Harry would report somthing on it even to denie it being true or give more insignt on the project, which i think he could get since he is "Best Friends" with Del Toro so come on Harry get the info out their cause i'm in trested in this CFBL remake!!!!
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Harry is supposed to be like best friends with Del Toro and know Ignfilmforce and DArk Horizons have posted that Del Toro is goijng to make a Creature From the Black Lagoon remake!!!! Which is awsome if true but I think Harry would report somthing on it even to denie it being true or give more insignt on the project, which i think he could get since he is "Best Friends" with Del Toro so come on Harry get the info out their cause i'm in trested in this CFBL remake!!!!
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the guy is supposed to be like best friends with Del Toro and know Ignfilmforce and DArk Horizons have posted that Del Toro is goijng to make a Creature From the Black Lagoon remake!!!! Which is awsome if true but I think this guy would report somthing on it even to denie it being true or give more insignt on the project, which i think he could get since he is "Best Friends" with Del Toro so come on get the info out their cause i'm intrested in this CFBL remake!!!!
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Aug 08, 2002 2:44:29 PM CDT
Get out of malibu lebowski....get out of malibu shithead...
by xfiler4life
Whoever says that the big lebowski is not one of the greatest comedies every made is fucking halfwit retard w/ no scrotum...maybe the most quotable movie ever made and pure genius from the coens...
oh yeah and band of brothers is coming out on dvd on nov. 5!!!! hell yeah!! -
Christ, I hate to write the above sentence, but it's true. A PG-13 action movie with this concept just can't deliver on the concept, period (and it's a stupid idea anyway; I don't WANT to see somebody who's proud to be an asshole save the world. I want to see him get violently murdered.) "The Matrix", "True Lies", "Die Hard", every single truly great action flick over the last ten or so years has been rated R. The espionage film is a different genre; PG-13 versions can be made ("Bourne Identity" is a recent flick), and still be worthwhile.
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Harry, you're gushing. (As to what, exactly, you're gushing...I'd rather not think about it.)
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I think I've got their album.
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i just heard from an insider at sony that there will be some early screenings of XXX tonight at midnight... i don't know about you but i'll be in line to see it.
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Allright, so Asia Argento is hot, but she would be hotter as a redhead (I've got a redhead fetish, I've only had two girlfriends so far (I'm only 21) and they both have been gorgeous redheads). As far as Vin Diesel is concerned, he's a cool, charismatic sonovabitch, but I can't stand extreme sports. When I saw Vin jumping from one rooftop to another on a motorcycle in a xXx commercial, I thought "cool", but then he leaves the seat of his bike and holds onto nothing more than the handlebars, and it reminded me of why I abhor extreme sports fanatics: They're arrogant jackasses who only feel alive when they are near death. I'm not going to see this film.
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http://www.newtimesla.com/issues/2002-8-8/film.html/1/index.html
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He couldnt have. No Way. No Fucking Way. That movie is hilarious, how can you not laugh at John Goodman blustering his way through every situation? Steve Buscemi never being allowed to finish a sentence? Jeff Bridges brilliant timing? The german faux kidnappers? The porn film 'Logjamming" . Some people just look at it as stoner/ slacker humor i guess, and all the people I know who like this movie , including myself, fall into either of those categories at least somewhat.Kinda like how some poor souls dont like Jay and Silent Bob. Lebowski is a higher grade of humor though. Helps if you live in L.A. too, probly. A few weeks ago I went to Hollywood Lanes , where the bowling scenes were filmed (which will soon be torn down, go while it lasts, its great, Im 18 and bought beers there with no hassle) and memories of Walter pulling a gun on Smokey caused me to erupt in spontaneous laughter. Someone brought up Oliver Hardy, on the subject of fat comedians, and I just wanna recommend Laurel and Hardy's 70 year old classic "Sons of the Desert". Laughed more at that then i did at newer shit like" sPY WHO sHAGGED mE". But not as much as I did at Goldmember. I LOVE GOOOOOOLD!!
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We seem to be conditioned to expect a cinematic adaptation for almost anything. What I'm saying is it's not always necessary. Don't get me wrong I love movies but on their own merit. So when Hollywood feels compelled to adapt everything from novels and comics to video games and theme park attractions (Country Bears) into movies I question the artistic intentions. In the case of Den I feel that it's purest artistic format is as a graphic novel. It doesn't have to be anything else. Richard Corben's illustrations are amazing. That will be lost on the big screen. What happened to writing original motion picture scripts?
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Was the motorcycle stunt better than the one that Barry Bostwick did at the end of Megaforce?
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Did we really need Country Bears? No, and neither did Disney. Did we really need Street Fighter? No, and neither did Raul Julias legacy in acting. Did we really need Scooby Doo? No, but James Gunn probably did to buy him some blockbuster credibility. ( I want Specials 2, dammit)Do we really need to see the Hulk , Daredevil and the Punisher on the screen. No, because we have them in their true medium. But I will be there February 14th. " When the streets have gone to Hell, have faith in The Devil" Tee-Hee.
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Harry should watch The Big Lebowski monthly so he'll reference it more often in his reviews. I saw this movie with my wife years ago, and we're still making nihilist jokes! I didn't watch my buddies die in the muck just so some dimwit can slam this masterpiece in a talkback. You're about to enter a world of pain, mister. Your hear me? A WORLD OF PAIN!
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Careful talkbackers- like some of you I too dared to critique almighty Harry's Reviews and like some of you I too dared go so far as to suggest Vin seemed a little "light in his loafers" and I got banned!! Whatever! Fear Darth Phallus!!
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We all know the reason you'd love to see Diesel play this Den guy is so you can watch Vin Diesel wearing tightie-whities or nothing at all while stroking your man-pole with popcorn butter. ;)
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Great. More info I didn't need to know. This review seems a little to enthusiastic... and since The Fast & The Furious didn't appeal to me, I'll skip xXx. Would much rather see Pitch Black 2 (but wtf is up with this trilogy shit? Must everything be a trilogy now?).
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We wouldn't want those keys sticking, now would we? Y'know, the evidence is REALLY starting to mount here. While I thoroughly enjoyed "Blade 2", it was in that review that I first noticed that a certain person on this site has got his mind made up about what he's going to like literally MONTHS before its actual release. I'll even ignore the "Politics" card for the moment. And it works both ways. Just got that neurotic feeling that Spielberg is going to put the screws to your arrested development mind yet again? Well, then turn your nose up at this year's "Pushing-The-Definition-Of-A- Summer Movie" entry. Just can't admit that it's pretty much just some loose toppings and stale crusts (and maybe the garlic butter)left in that box for Georgio's Pizzarria ("from a country a far-a, far-a-way...")? Then mentally fill in the dough, sauce, cheese, and heat. But besides expectations being blared in all caps endlessly for upcoming films, bootlegs being viewed in hotel rooms, fancy desserts being shared with directors, etc., I also sense another malicious intent. ANTAGONISM. That's right, reviews to "piss 'em off but good!" Hey, if you acknowledge you've read the TBs, then you've gauged the audience here. How superficially empowering it must be to appear to be "above it all!" Let the minions play out the PREDICTABLE (if not usually logical) "Geek Reactions". Look, it's not like I care about the dude's (lower case "dude", dudes!) reviews, and usually I hope that my opinions about said film are completely polarized from his. But that's not what bothers me. It's that these reviews are ramblethons with the not-so-latent-anymore purpose of being media muscle-flexing. Just like the "musckels" ("Ah, gagagagaga ga!") on (sigh, fluttering eyelids) his hero, Vinny. Only well-hidden. But please, people, take a 'chillpill' before reading this shit! 1.)Critics should be summarily ignored ACROSS THE BOARD. 2.) Fanboy-Made-"Good" who also has to review his or her "dream projects" should REALLY be ignored. And, finally, 3.) Said fanboy who uses these "reviews" to congratulate friends and fuck with us simultaneously should get NO LOVE. Call me a paranoid, Beetlejuice (from Howard Stern) loving freak. Fine. But I wouldn't type the shit if I didn't think it were true. And Harry, for disturbing us with no less than one half dozen "'Wretched Death To Ye!' Said Fred" comic book covers, 50 points from Hippochin. "Postus Ranticus!"
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Aug 08, 2002 6:56:18 PM CDT
Wait... did Harry just say he wanted to blow Vin Diesel?
by darth taun taun
I'm not seeing this movie.
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Fat people die, thin people die, healthy people die, unhealthy people die, morons die (that's YOU), we all die. So if you think I'm weeping 'cuz I've been 'dissed by an illiterate (that'd be YOU again), well, don't. And Benny Hill was fat, too.
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Bullshit paid plant or repressed homo. Look at that art. Fatty's got issues.
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You might be right about LOTR's editing toward the end. I saw the film many times in the theater, also, but even so I can't be totally sure. I paid close attention to that scene since there was so much bitching about it here on AICN, and I was left with the believing that there was absolutely nothing wrong with it (as some people complained), but for some reason it seemed "smoother" than I remember from the theater viewings. Maybe they did soften the editing, but if they did it is a pretty subtle change. As for Vin Diesel (changing the subject and addressing the talkback more directly) does his upcoming Hannibal project mean that he no longer has any interest in playing Conan's son in King Conan?
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Aug 08, 2002 7:50:37 PM CDT
Heard he's gay (not that there's anything wrong with tha
by who'syourdaddy
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Just where are the reviews and news on this movie Harry? Done a search on the site and ...NOTHING. F!ck, it opens this weekend, if you are a true movie geek, how the f!ck can you fail to review the new Clint Eastwood movie. Stop stroking your pole over images of Van Gasoline, get of the sofa and give us some info.
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first of all Jaka, big lebowski is one of the funniest movies of all time. Maybe you just didn't get it. And I'm not jumping on the bandwagon, saw it the day it came out, almost pissed my pants from laughter...Also, when did this seriously become a fascist regime? As real as J-Lo, ain't that funny?
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first of all Jaka, big lebowski is one of the funniest movies of all time. Maybe you just didn't get it. And I'm not jumping on the bandwagon, saw it the day it came out, almost pissed my pants from laughter...Also, when did this seriously become a fascist regime? As real as J-Lo, ain't that funny?
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Aug 08, 2002 9:54:46 PM CDT
It's sad that we can no longer expect any logic or ingenuity
by sopranofella
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Harry, you're scaring me....the way you gush over this guy, it makes me think you're playing for the other team....Vin Diesel is Stallone without hair...he sucks ass....he's got all the intelligence of lint. He's Steven Segal, before the mob shook him down. There's nothing original about him...and one more thing...NEVER...under any circumstances, mutter the words "R-rated fantasy", and then show pictures of a naked guy.
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Are you gay for Diesel? Whats with the homo erotic story and pics? -
Listen... I have never read this DEN guys comic...it might be the greatest thing ever...but NO WAY IN HELL am i gunna pay $10 to see vin run around naked for 2 hours...what the FUCK!
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While your assertions that all people die is quite a revelation ( I mean... are you sure? This should be published in a medical journal somewhere... people get the word out!!) you missed the point. Being 200 lbs. overwight is not a good thing... As for Benny Hill, yes, I know he was fat - the problem was lumping him with others who all had the fortune of posessing a modicum of talent, while Benny Hill.. well, I hope you and your grandfather have a good time watching soft core porn movies together this weekend hipcheck, it's about the same effect. I know if it was up to you Jared from the Subway commercials would be up there at the top of the list with all the greats... thanks for showing some restraint.
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Usually the idea behind being a movie critic is to help the audience decide on what to see. Doesn't look like many folks are taking ol' Harry's advice...
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If Vin doesn't mind swinging his tallywhacker on screen for two hours, I think he would make a great Den. What gave Corben's illustrated novels their "extra something" was that just about everyone was fully nude and doing the naughty. Having a "loincloth" Den or "cleverly concealed" Den just won't do...so maybe this could be Hollywood's next big NC-17 to break the "Showgirls" curse. After reading his review/crush, sounds like Harry wants a private Diesel dong viewing though.
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I really don't get the Vin as gay fantasy thing (Obviously Harry has thing for him). I'm not a homophobe or anything, in fact if I were to be gay, I'd go in the Johnny Depp direction. Apparently the rumor is that Vin is gay so maybe there is some vibe going on that you are into. Why a sweaty bald muscle guy? Anyone wanna explain this?
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Vin Diesel's really making the rounds, giving oral favors to all these reviewers. Okay, this site is really getting to be a joke. If Harry says it's good, it must suck, unless Moriarty agrees with him. Where's Moriarty's review? Did Harry accept cash for giving this glowing review? Or is he just attempting to earn points with Mr. Diesel? xXx is not what good filmmaking is about, it is not quality, it is clearly crap. "But Osgood," you ask, "how do you know until you see it?" Well, I don't need to step in crap to know it stinks, you know? That's why they have trailers. And you know what's great? I never have to see this movie. But I'll bitch about it until this stuff gets put in turnaround in favor of greenlighting a Terry Gilliam film or something else of equal value and artistic worth that is at the same time entertaining. xXx is crap. I want a movie site like Harry's, but good. Because from where I stand, it ain't cool anymore.
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I thought the movie was only decent. Nothing special or breakout about it really.
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xXx can lick my balls.
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I just wanted to let you know that Hipcheck's not the only one who thinks you're an asshole prick.
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Aug 09, 2002 3:48:34 AM CDT
HARRY YOU MORBIDLY OBESE PEICE OF SHIT! HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU LIK
by dumbkidd
Its 90 minutes of vin desel snow boarding and bunjie jumping away from explosions! I would be so happy if you would LIE TO US and tell us you hate it, just so you can have SOME credibilty as a critic
ALSO WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ANIMATION ABOUT! IT SLOWS DOWN MY COMPUTER! -
..a PG13 action/ horror movie. This sounds witless to the XXXtreme and nobody in their right mind would pay money for it unless they had an itch for Vin. On the other hand, I think its sad for every guy with a bug uphis ass to start screaming 'HOMO' at every guy who's able to distinguish between a flabby office sow and a decent looking male specimen. Women know what beautiful women look like. You never hear girls saying 'shit, I can't tell the difference between Heather Graham and Rosie O Donnell'. There's a whole gray area bewteen those eminently artificual words 'gay' and 'straight' that's never going to go away. Most guys who sneer at athletes and fine bodies are self-loathing blobs or office Gollums. A final point on the now-hopefully defunct Mr Schwartzenegger. The hustlers in LA tell an extraordinarily persistent story about Mr S, apparently, he picks them (young guys) up, takes them off someplace, f**ks their spines U-shaped and them beats them to bloody pulp. Don't take the candy from that crazy Austrian, is the general consensus. And, no, I'm not on the game. I'd like to believe it of the stinking cigar-chomping, sexist Republican banana boat boy.
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..a PG13 action/ horror movie. This sounds witless to the XXXtreme and nobody in their right mind would pay money for it unless they had an itch for Vin. On the other hand, I think its sad for every guy with a bug uphis ass to start screaming 'HOMO' at every guy who's able to distinguish between a flabby office sow and a decent looking male specimen. Women know what beautiful women look like. You never hear girls saying 'shit, I can't tell the difference between Heather Graham and Rosie O Donnell'. There's a whole gray area bewteen those eminently artificial words 'gay' and 'straight' that's never going to go away. Most guys who sneer at athletes and fine bodies are self-loathing blobs or office Gollums. A final point on the now-hopefully defunct Mr Schwartzenegger. The hustlers in LA tell an extraordinarily persistent story about Mr S, apparently, he picks them (young guys) up, takes them off someplace, f**ks their spines U-shaped and them beats them to bloody pulp. Don't take the candy from that crazy Austrian, is the general consensus. And, no, I'm not on the game. I'd like to believe it of the stinking cigar-chomping, sexist Republican banana boat boy.
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Cause she'll kick j00r ass if she sees that.
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Aug 09, 2002 5:36:02 AM CDT
Josh Hartnett Superman?????! I retract my statement about jude l
by trankscuzzball
Law would be better cast as superman than hartnett and they should cast Christian Bale as batman.
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I thought it was a really enjoyable summer movie.... the ending was a bit slow after the snow scene... but overall I liked the pacing. I can't help but wish though that Vin had shot that lying motherf*cker. MIT doesn't have magna cum laude.
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you are from Holland and you say everything he touches turns to gold... isn't that vierd?
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IHTFP mmmmmm yeah.
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Aug 09, 2002 6:47:25 AM CDT
About LOTR FOTR and the Larger that Average Size Lebowski
by almost sexy
Dear (Naughty word here)les: I saw LOTR FOTR in the theater about three days ago (it's still playing in Seattle at the Crest on 5th Ave NE off of I-5 Exit # 175), and I can tell you there is no dissolving in the Fellowship in Boats/ Uruk-Hai on foot sequence. The cuts are very fast (with Aragorn and Legolas' heads whipping around and what-not). I haven't seen it on DVD yet (and probably won't till November) so I can't compare the two myself, but from your description it sounds like they tinkered with the film somewhat. It was my 11th or 12th viewing, and I'm quite excited to say I finally spotted the car in the now famous scene (although it probably won't be in the DVD). As for The Fast and the Furious, some of the worst car chase action I have ever seen on film. The car chase in my senior year AP Spanish class was more compelling, and that was simulated using matchbox cars. Speaking of compulsion, I just had to add my two cents on the whole Dude issue. I love the Coen brothers' work in general, but I did not like the Big Lebowski. I loved the cast, but I felt like they were trying to be funny instead of actually being funny. I really couldn't emulate or empathize with Bridges' character at all. Either I'm too different or too similar to him, and I couldn't really sympathize with a character who caused so much trouble for himself. The car gag was eminently predictable, the surreal dream sequence was boring. Yes the nihilists were pretty funny, but.... You know what it is, there weren't any likable characters in that film (for me at least). They don't have to all be saints, but man, I just didn't really care what happened to any of the characters in that film. Maybe John Turturro's character Jesus (I think), but he wasn't likable either. I don't think there was a problem with the execution; they probably made the film they intended to, but it just wasn't for me. The only thing I enjoyed was the Dead Flowers cover at the end. By the way, who played the rich guy who give the Dude a ride in his limo. I wanna say it was Ben Gazzara, but it couldn't have been. By the way, everyone else I know that's seen it loves the film, so I'm clearly in the minority.
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Sorry, Harry, but you've really got to stop writing these things at 4 a.m., strung out on Jolt cola. I wouldn't mind seeing Diesel take on the Den role either, but your over-the-top praise for one of the decade's worst attempts at franchise creation just ain't cutting it. Diesel needs to avoid getting pigeonholed like those super-action-monsters of the 80s. He's a better actor than that. And judging from his recent appearance on Jon Stewart's DAILY SHOW, a genuinely nice guy. Hope he walks away from this one without too much of an ego-swell, and continues to take roles with substance and depth. And Sam Jackson needs to stop being the black Michael Caine, and start being pickier about his work!!
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Sorry to disappoint you, Guzman Fan: Harry is NOT gay, in my opinion (and it's said to be trustworthy!). My Gaydar is IMPECCABLE, and I promise you that Harry Knowles is NOT gay. HOWEVER, I think this obsession with Vin Diesel may go deeper than we really thought it would ... I think Harry ACTUALLY wants to be Vin Diesel! But he's not in love, just infatuated! And to those Asia-detractors: Go see Il Fantasma dell'Opera and tell me she's not beautiful!
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The film critic community have all but dismissed XXX as nothing more then another stunt and action sequence filled movie lacking any semblance of a plot or good acting...Vin Diesel follows in the tradition of Stallone/Arnold/Seagal as a testosterone action hero...now this formula may have worked in the 1980s, but isnt the tough talking buff action hero a plot device that has already been beaten to death by Hollywood...Vin Diesal can be the most charismatic actor in the world, but audiences want intelligent action movies...the rebellious, reluctant spy hero saving the world from terrorists through feats of increble stunts is such a boring formula...now I realize this movie is geared against the teenage summer movie demographic, but please Harry, dont sell this thing as some great piece of filmmaking...it is nothing more then summer popcorn fodder.
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I have seen way too many people like you on Ain't It Cool News: people with their heads in the clouds, who think that their opinions are proven facts. Your opinion is not right or wrong, so please don't act like it's right.
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Hello!
Wow, my first post.
Ok, this is totally off-subject, but i just saw the Ballistic : Ecks vs. Sever trailer, and i loved it!
Looks like my kind of action movie. Antonio looks cool, as always, and Lucy looks so hot.
And Ray Park is there too!
Nothing against XXX, and i guess i would have to see it first, but i dunno....Looks like they -
I don't think anything negative was implied by the reference to TBL. Are fans of that film perhaps over-reacting?
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Aug 09, 2002 1:54:33 PM CDT
Even my real life story would seem great if Vin Diesel played my
by john_howlett_jr
"He was an ordinary, tall scrawny geek flipping patties at Burger King, until a team of international terrorists took over the restaurant and held his french-Canadian girlfriend hostage. Vin Diesel is JOHN HOWLETT JR. One man, one train of thought. Summer 2003"
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Aug 09, 2002 2:03:25 PM CDT
Well, I don't know about Den, but if they ever make a live a
by timbenzedrine
Take a good look at last week's cover of Entertainment Weekly and tell me I'm wrong.
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he's not simply a tool, but the whole tool shed....anywho...he can still beat the living shit out of me..
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he's not simply a tool, but the whole tool shed....anywho...he can still beat the living shit out of me..
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Another shamesless promotion by AICN. Lets face it this site has no crediblity in the critic business. Its really about kissing the ass of a few directors and movie stars in hope Harry and crew can get some 3 o'clock slop left over by Aflex.
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Aug 09, 2002 4:18:46 PM CDT
Ummm, Harry, did you have something you wanted to tell us??
by gentle_fury
Ok, well i wanted nothing to do with this film, now after another epically long (mostly fluff) homo-erotic expose on it, i want even less to do with it. Well, at least it allowed the big man to discover who he really was......sippin down a big pink girlie drink and droolin over vin :) Love ya harry.....ummm, just not in that way ;)
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Ok, I posted a talkback yesterday complaining about how we always have to hear about skanky pussy left and right and anytime a man shows so much as his butt we get a flood of bigoted homophobic bullshit. Today, I come on here and my fucking post has been removed. REMOVED. Apparently, you can say anything you want as long as you don't say anything bad about pussy. Can you say 'nigger' here, too? All the gay bashing seen here is every bit as bad and harmful as the use of the word 'nigger'.
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Hi everyone. Just thought i'd share this with ya. Fans of cheesy action films, and i mean real chees, with cheesy action heroes. Check out these 2 sites i found. Both low/no budget filmakers making, guess what. yep short cheesy action films. I downloaded a couple from each site, and they're actually very good, very funny too.
http://www.bluesmoke.org.uk/downloads_1.htm
http://www.kwoon.com/
bye for now...
Tee Hee -
or does this "xXx" look like it's entirely produced by Mountain Dew?
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Its obvious to me why he won't admit his ethnic heritage. He's afraid that once we find out he's of arab descent, then we'll reject him. Well, I for one don't care that he's an enemy of the state.
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WOW - just got back from seeing xXx..... i wanted to like it going in - but this film failed on every single level. Fast and the Furious, save a couple car chases, was a disaster. Rob Cohen is looking like a true hack these days. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR - save your money. This film has horrible acting, dialogue, music, all the way down the line. There is more than a leap of logic required for this crapfest - Vin Diesel pulls on the handle bars of his motorbike and it shoots 50 feet in the air? The love scenes were almost laughable - I've never seen leading man/leading lady chemistry that looked so forced. Another note - the score was horrible - Cohen or Neil Moritz (uber-crap producer) should take a note from Fight Club to see that you don't need ultra heavy metal for an effective score. Give me something a little less hard hitting but with more groove and you'll have more compelling scenes. Something else I wanted to add - coproductions are great for getting movies made, but that means you have to use a certain number of actors from the country in question. Now I'M SURE - Cohen and Moritz could have found a better group of Czech actors than the group of morons they used (and what's the deal with having a cameo by Matt Hoffman - the dude ALWAYS sounds like he's a couple short of a six pack). By the end of this movie, I was simply bored. I couldn't care less who won, just that someone would die so the end credits could roll. On every level that this film failed - the Bourne Identity succeeded. Go see that instead, you'll be glad you did.
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People wee laughing at the previews when we saw Austin Powers. It looks rediculous so of course it will make tons of money from teens. The same crowd that have those big jacked up trucks and play their stereos.
More Mindless crap from Hollywood and Rob Cohen.
If its anything like Fast and the Furious its going to suck.
Vin is a great actor along the lines of Schwarzenegger and Sagal and with all the range too.
His acting consists of squinting, grunting and mumbling his lines.Hasnt he played the same role in his last 3 movies?
Stay away from this crap people!!!!! -
AWFUL plot, terrible writing...every line that was supposed to be 'badass' just fell flat! What a disappointment!
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Go see it and have a blast!
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Screw plot and story?? What's the point of going to a movie then? I tried to be entertained by this movie, I really did. But how could I when every time Diesel opened his mouth, I wanted to groan at what was coming out?? God forbid you actually watch a movie that makes you think. The sad thing is, this movie WILL make millions, because of all the teenage girls who want Diesel's rock-hard abs...it makes me sick that this will gross so much, and other MUCH better movies will suffer for it.
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In fact her and Eliza Dushku have joint ownership of my sorry, unworthy ass.
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After sitting through the Drek of the Week for months now(Signs, Reign of Fire, AOTC) finally a great summer movie. Vin Diesel/Rob Cohen are unstoppable. The first 10 minutes were more entertaining than all of Spiderman.
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I make no qualms about the fact that Vin Diesel is truly a welcome change from the low IQ antics of Arnold over the last ten years. The problem I do have however with this movie is it's intended idea of what extreme is. The notion of an extreme athlete has been something that has disgusted me for far to long. The main reason being that I grew up on skateboarding and other "extreme" concepts way before the X-Games and XXX took over. I have been skating for well over 15 years and have had the pleasure of making aquaintence with some of the people featured in the film;THE EXTREME ATHLETES - If you will and I would bet that every skater out there brought up in a time before ESPN and Nike took over would be thoroughly annoyed with the XXX antics. The only people who see triple xxx's antics as sticking it to the man are people who actually think there is man (30 yr old liberals who want all the cred for being able to acknowledge the rebel but who have none of the brains to see behind the true message of teh film. The film is a pepsi soaked attempt at making the extreme generation look cool. When in fact most what is seen on the film would be completely tame in many ways. If checked beforehand (PARACHUTES WILL OPEN) -- People do not die from snowboarding for the most part the worst you can expect from skateboarding is a broken bone of some sort. All very extreme by anyone's standards I am sure. In all truth I think perhaps Vin Diesel is CG judging by his limited acting potential but perhaps I am not extreme enough to really grasp the intense underbelly of the extreme athlete fueled only by an intense desire to drink pepsi and listen to Korn
One more thing I jacked this movie and would never pay for it... -
Pretty fuckin fun... and all the squealing teenie girls were in there guaranteeing I'll be getting my three Pitch Black sequels. COME TO POPPA.
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Calling a movie XXX void of nudity and hardcore sex is just another case of irresponsible misleading film making on the part of the Hollywood community. It's an outrage, the movie should at the very least contain a few lesbian scene's. Perhaps a 20+ gang-bang for good measure. The movie studio's are once again targeting those who should be protected, our greatest resourse....jerkoff losers like myself. What if I had wondered into a XXX showing already to get my jerk on and found myself surrounded by frat-boys and teeny-boppers? I could of been arrested. This is sickening.....You notice that the movie stars a women named Asia Argentina......her name even sounds like a porn actress name....it's all a conspiracy. Hollywood is trying to rape the porn industry of it's income. I'm not gonna stand for it and neither should any of you. I SAY BOYCOTT THIS MOVIE!
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And it kicked ass...of course, I'd rather see another DEN ANIMATED FLICK, rather than a live action version.
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Hee hee-good one! :)
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Aug 10, 2002 4:40:55 AM CDT
HOLY SHIT THAT WAS THE BADDEST ASSEST SPY MOVIE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
by zillabeast
holy shit dude! shit blowing up....vin diesel blowing shit up....people blowing up....vin diesel blowing people up....bad ass music and clubs and women and bad guys you really wanna love!!! all i can say is, "BITCHES, COME!!!!"
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WHY IN THE HELL did I not even know this movie EXISTED before the trailer at xXx? It's coming out in a friggin month and has been covered like, ZERO. I am 100 times more fucking pumped about this movie than I ever was about xXx after seeing it's trailer in theaters. Antonio Fucking Bandaras and that chick from ally mcbeal kicking TOTAL ASS. All I can say is "BITCHES, COME!!!"
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...and I really like it for what it is: a pure fun movie. Seriously, this movie kicks ass! Imagine "The Fast and the Furious" meets "Dr. No". Two of the best sequences of the movie are the Colombia sequence in the first half, and the avalanche sequence in the second half. If you expect nothing more of this movie than to just have fun, XXX is the ticket.
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I really wanted to enjoy this as a fun, dopey action movie but what a turkey. For a movie about an extreme sports secret agent anti-hero, I've never been so bored. There's one good action scene when Vin is out-snowboarding an avalanche and that's it. The full house I saw this with was dead silent through most of the movie save for a few moments of unintentional laughter (coming from my group, mostly). And at the end, not a single cheer, no applause - nothing. The audience was so eager to leave they didn't even stick around to check out the cool CGI end credits (the best thing about the movie). And talk about a movie that's clueless about its own hypocrisy. Early on, a woman approaches Vin's character about making video games based on his exploits as an extreme sports star. Then one of Vin's friends quickly tells the woman that "X" will "never sell out!". Well, that rings a little hollow in a movie where we know the star got 20 million or so to play someone who's NOT a part of the system. And can I nominate xXx as the action movie with the lamest one-liners ever? When Vin says "Welcome to the Xander Zone!" towards the end of the film, I sunk down in my seat that much farther. Hands down, this is the worst movie of the year.
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The Bourne Identity was a much better and - more importantly - much more exciting spy movie than xXx ever manages to be. Bourne had a solid story, good performances and it didn't skimp on the action. Even worse, the one line in xXx that got a good crowd response ("Bitches come") was ripped-off from the much funnier version of that line from Robocop - "Bitches leave". xXx is nothing more than a Mountain Dew commercial masquerading as a movie.
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I just can't take him seriously. Everytime I hear him talk, I think of Mike Tyson. He's just fast and ridiculous. I don't know. I better not see him do a Gladiator movie. Yuk.
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Look assholes! Fuck you all! I come to these talkback and I am kind and intelligent. I post my OPINIONS and my FEELINGS without resorting to name calling and insults in an effort to make myself appear to be smart. Unlike all of you cancer ridden puss balls. So kindly FUCK OFF! Harry commented on the Big Lebowski. Every fuckin' geek on the planet comment on the Big Lebowski. It's a piece of shit cult film. It made no money. The acting, directing and the script, in my opinion, are about the worst I have ever seen. Certainly the worst from the people involved. Ooo, how cool, he says fuck a lot. Well again, fuck you! Some asshole went so far as too send me an email...to my personal email!!!! Insulting my intelligence because I don't like the Big Lebowski. Jusus fucking christ! What is wrong with you people? Do you not understand that it doesn't make you cool if you insult someone?! What makes you cool is being able to DISCUSS!, calmly and rationaly, you opinions about film. That's why Harry includes his FEELING and OPINIONS in his reviews. FUCK!
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BittleLittlePenis..uhh, I mean Boy...uhh, I mean Man. Jaka is a character from the comic book Cerebus you illiterate piece of shit! And CoolDan989, what the fuck are you talking about? All I DID was post my opinion. I did not say, anywhere in it,"I am right and everyone else is wrong". I posted my god damn opinion! Just like you posted YOUR over-generalizing opinion about EVERYONE (oh excuse me, the "way too many people like me" you don't know me you fuckin' prick!) who comes to thse talkbacks. It must be nice to be omnipotent.
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Aug 10, 2002 1:40:50 PM CDT
Vin Diesel will be the biggest film sensation since Jeff Stryker
by three quarks
And that's saying something. Yummy noises!
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Is this the very same Den that was featured in one of the segments in the old Heavy Metal movie, the one whose voice was done by John Candy? (yes, John Candy) That segment was funny because he was a skinny little Dork that got changed into Den by a strange meteorite.
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hey kids. EXTREME!!! SPORTS ACTION!! Now in mulicolored new new new plastic! FASSST Look at it go Kids! WOW! DUUDDE, Thats AWESOME! Siiiiccckk bro! Middle America...it is your time to shine. It's all yours. Let the poverty of low quality begin. Vin Diesel, you're a nice guy. But we all know the truth and it will come OUT very soon. Although it should have nothing to do with your work and this film. But it does. Everything matters. The fat the dumb the ugly the poor unite!
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The Big Lebowski is quite possibly the funniest movie I have ever seen... it's genius, and the fact that you can't see it is your loss as it apparently went right over your head. The Big Lebowski isn't about the big laughs, well that's not true... it has the big laughs but produces them without over the top, slap you in the face with it humor. The Big Lebowski is about the subtle things, the shit you don't even notice the first time you watch it... ahh fuckit, no use bothering. By the way I saw XXX today and it was what I expected it to be, decent, kinda entertaining, stupid at times and blatantly retarded at others. I don't feel like I wasted 9 bucks, but it's the kind of movie I would have rather waited to come out on video. Harry is a fuckin moron who is wrong on nearly every one of his reviews...
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There is NO WAY this movie
could be good.I just can't see it.
Sorry Harry. -
Aug 10, 2002 6:30:40 PM CDT
Watching XXX is like watching a 2 hour Mountain Dew commercial
by darko1
Am I the only person on the planet that is sick to death of all things "EXTREME". For the love of god, Im going to puke the next time I hear the word!!! Taco Bell is "EXTREME"!!!! Mountain Dew is "EXTREME"!!! Anybody that plays Tony Hawk Pro Skater is "EXTREME"!!! This whole idea of "EXTREME" has been run into the ground. I love motocross, and several other sports that have been around for years but have just been recently deemed "EXTREME", but I'm sick of this commercialization of it. This movie, in my opinion, sucked horribly. I like Vin, but this was hard to watch. I felt sorry for him while I watched in horror as he rattled off lame line after lame cliched line. I kept waiting for him to pull out the can of Dew as he lept from the car going over the bridge. Some of the stunts were cool but some of them just went too far over the top. And what in the hell was up with the boat/hydroplane thing that carried the poisonous gas? They may as well have tied a couple of beer kegs together and strapped a board to the top of them, it would have looked just as cool. It looked like they found the old Flash Gordon spaceship from the 50s and decided to throw it in the water. LAME. Oh and yeah, that chick looks nasty. I thought it was funny how the guys that like her are all like "if you don't like her, you've never been with a woman and you have low standards!! *sniffle sniffle*" To that I say, whatever. Apparently I have HIGHER standards, because I thought she looked like she was all cracked out and dirty too. But not like sexy dirty, just dirty. Nothing against her personally, maybe she cleans up real nice, I don't know. Overall the best thing about XXX was the music. At times, I found myself getting angry when the sound effects and dialogue would cover the music. Prime Xample: Hatebreed's "I Will Be Heard" starts playing as Vin dives out of the airplane with the snowboard strapped to his feet. Wow, that was sooo cool!! I've never seen anything like that before!! (Ripe with sarcasm) Oh wait yeah i have, like a million times in Mountain Dew commercials and on RealTV. Anyhow, the stupid wooshing sounds kept being louder than the song and that sucked. Oh well, I'm not giving up on Vin (I didn't really care for FAST AND THE FURIOUS either, but I loved PITCH BLACK and I thought he was very good in PRIVATE RYAN. I'm sure this will be huge commercial success for him though like F&F, but I hope that some more worthy scripts find their way into his hands in the future.
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Harry is either bought or likes small shiny object, or something else, but I don't agree with his review of this turd of a film, it was awful. Terrible even.
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That was some great homoerotic art work. I think that Vin Diesel has supplanted Judy Garland as every gay man's favorite person. It's good to see Harry come out of the closet finally.
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I remember DEN quite fondly. How I loved thos so-called underground and adult comics of my youth! I recall just about everyone being naked in DEN adventures, but I could be wrong. I recall DEN having a thing for the ladies, not the men, but of course DEN can be perceived as a sexual object by either sex -- although I doubt one single female ever read a DEN comic. Corben was a master of the graphic novel, a term no one used back then but which has been given currency in the last 10-15 years to differentiate certain illustrated stories from regular comics. I could see Diesel playing DEN. Of course, I wouold much rather see a JOHN CARTER OF MARS movie. All these muscle-bound, slightly homoerotic heroes stem from CARTER. If you ever saw some of the covers of the Ballantine reissues in the 1960s, you'd definitely know what I mean. No one wears much in the way of clothes on ERB's Mars. I think Carter woke up stark naked in his first Mars adventure. I believe Dejah Thoris, his eternal love interest, also was sans clothes most of the time.
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Goddammit I hated this stupid movie.
I went in with no preconcieved notions ready to have a good time, and the movie still sucked ass.
And who was the genius who decided to cast the 'Gorilla dipped in NAIR' for the lead role? -
Forget Vin Diesel, Bruce Campbell has got an extreme sports chin, so just deal!
Love Johnny
PS Just kidding. -
Rob Cohen is a shitty director. It was entertaining, but come on, this movie had more wrong about it than right! The villian, who didn't reveal his evil plan until 20 mins before the end of the movie died in a LAME way, and the action was on par with Missing in Action III. The concept is fine, with Vin Diesel in the lead, but jesus, REWRITE!!! and hire a REAL action director like Tony Scott, Paul Verhoeven, or the 1988 McTiernan clone. ANy of them would have made this movie a classic, instead of a MESS! An enjoyable mess I admit, because Vin is fun to watch, but nontheless a big Mess!!
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Tonight after work, I had the opportunity to check out XXX after all that happened including being suckered into previewing Blood Work thursday night. Let me tell you a little about myself to better explain everything. I'm NOT an action fan, I don't normally go for the action movies & I may get flamed for this but i've never seen Die Hard(any of them for that matter), Gladiator or Mission Impossible. I normally go for the romances(Moulin Rouge is my favorite of all time with A Walk To Remember a close second) or comedies such as The Great White Hype or Wayne's World 1 & 2. Now I would've liked to have seen this with...someone but since that got ruined, I went with my two best friends instead. I loved this movie...period. I was enjoying the extreme sport aspect of the film being a huge fan of the X Games & the movie had me on the edge of my seat throughout it all. I would've liked to see more Sam Jackson but his moments on screen made me enjoy the movie more. Asia Argento played the roll of the seductive Yelena making both Xander & Yorgi want her was just classic. I walked out of this movie having seen a kick ass action movie, actually I might just have to check out the action movies i've missed due to being biased towards comedy & drama. I really hate horror, but I did see Jason X & Halloween Resurrection recently so my likes are broadening quite a bit. Definately if you like pure action check this movie out asap, as for me i'll be waiting for next week to see some more movies & give the great Talkbackers here some of my reviews. Well until next time, save me the aisle seat....in the middle of theatre...on the right left side.
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I agree with Harry on the Den casting, but would he have to be bare-ass naked the whole time?
Anyway, I find it funny that people choose to be cool and bash Harry and his review. The guy who owns the site likes the movie, and people with chick magnet handles bash him. I'm all for freedom of speech and opinion, but don't hate the man, peeps. -
s is everyone else who wasted time at this movie!!!
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Aug 11, 2002 10:59:17 AM CDT
This had to have been the worst written and produced movie in ex
by mrzsasz
And F&F was a blatant swipe of Point Break, (or a homage if you're Tarantino). I blame Vin only because he's audacious enough to talk about artistic integrity in his interviews. Cohen is a hack, and whoever was missing from the production of F&F were sorely needed for this flick. And this had to have been the worst score in history. A totally embarrassing flick. Horrendous. This is what happens when old guys think they know what it is to be young.
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To see Richard Corben's artwork, go to Ebay and make a search of his name and you'll find a plethora of stuff made by Corben. Here's an example of Corben's work. (copy/paste URL) http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=897850393 Corben's an original.
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So can anyone tell me if this film is better than an episode of 'Max Steel'?
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that Asia chick is not hot. What in the hell do you guys see in that flat, starving goth chick. Come'on fellas.
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If they made a movie of this, there would have to be a scene where Den and his ladies wax the hair off of each other, giggling all the while. There will also be a scene in which one of the women (who wants to have Den's baby) will try to force Den to make love to her in the impregnating sort of way. Den will keep flipping her over and she'll keep flipping right back onto her back. This will go on ad infinitum.
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Why doesn't Vin simply ignore the critics and do what any good celebrity does, marry Drew Barrymore, cut a hip-hop album with X-tra X-plcit Ja Rule remixes, do a cameo on Friends, adopt a Cambodian child and call it a career?
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Aug 11, 2002 7:12:09 PM CDT
You know, screwed up chronology works great for Chris Nolan film
by wasp
This is getting frickin' ridiculous. Does the AICN website have some sort of degenerative disease?
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Hmm, fascinating. Could the AICN Talkback become a new means by which to test chaos theory?
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Aug 11, 2002 7:17:31 PM CDT
Hey, right after my last post, nice...too bad my last post is no
by wasp
This may require further trial and error.
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Post one placed smack dab in the middle of the Talkback. Post two placed a ways before post one. Post three immediately after post two...the first glimpse of hope for order restored. Post four placed a ways before posts two and three. Hope destroyed.
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Sucks balls. Heywood Jablowmee was right months ago. He is definately not Bruce Campbell for a new generation. I'll bet he couldn't even capture the believability that Bruce brings to that award-winning submarine show that's on in the middle of the night!
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I remember the days of John McClane beating the shit out of Karl or Martin Riggs fucking up Mr. Joshua. Isn't it wierd that 2 of the most notable angry badass cops in movie history ended up playing more sensitive roles in M. Night Shyamalan movies? Anyway, I just hope Vin makes a buddy cop picture. I regard Mel and Bruce to be better actors than most people give them credit for. Vin is a good actor and he good breathe life into the "now dead" cop action movie genre. I have not seen xXx, but I plan to. BTW: Asia is beautiful.
MF -
i just got back from seeing XXX.. and why didnt anyone tell me this was a heartwarming story about a boy and his magical flying motorcycle?
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just wanna go on record that "xxx" was one of THE worst film i have ever seen.
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"one of the most loved films of ALL TIME" Hahahahaahaahaha!!!! I don't need to say anything to defend myself after that statement-but I would like to clarify a few things. First of all, I was having one of those worst days of my life days when I responded to you-so a large part of my anger was external. The fact that some shmuck thought it was cool to send insulting email to me personally just set me off even more. Second, I invited the flames in my first post. I have no problem standing up for myself. Third, I am just tired of all the immature punks that come to this site and think it makes them sound itelligent to insult people, wether they are name-calling or not. They are still insulting others to try and be "cool". It's not cool-it's immature. And it does nothing to show what they know about film, or even convey their opinion. Fourth, that is exactly what YOU tried to do. Quoting back my post was funny, to tell you the truth. But why the insults. I DID NOT insult anybody. I simply stated my VERY STRONG and FIRM opinion about the Big Lebowski. The movie sucks. That's my OPINION! Several people in this talkback seem to have missed that entirely. I feel very strongly that that movie is a steaming pile of shit! Why would I not state it if I that's how I feel? So everybody give me a break already. Me saying "this movie is an uneccasary addition to the american film pantheon" is no different than you saying this is "one of the most loved films of ALL TIME". It's our OPINION! Because you CERTAINLY have no FACTS to back up your statement. We feel differently, great! Lastly, I have seen the Big Lebowski twice all the way through and again half way through becasue a friend thought that I just wasn't getting it. Look, I get it. It's a bad film. At the very least-IN MY OPONION- its the Coens worst film (directing and writing), a TERRIBLE acting job by John Goodman, and it's just BORING! For the tenth time. That is MY OPINION!
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Ok I have been watching this site for a while now. Espeically since I seen Mr Knowles in several places on television so call representing the critic who is true towards movie. My view is this, I am not going to make any jokes about if your gay or your taste in movies etc.... But What I really would like to know is, are you still your own man, or do you work for a studio. XXX by far wasn't the worst movie I have seen but to give it such a high review and to give Vin Diesel such acclaim baffles me. Especial after you totally crapped on Minority Report. I mean I would say your and idiot but that is obviously not true with your success you know how to sell your self and how to reach the industry so now I am wondering if some how the industry reached back.
Because simply put XXX was the type of movie you turn your brain off and watch. If your not an action fan your retarded to even by a ticket to see anything with Vin Diesel in it. But to say it was so great, after the reviews you have previously given to other movies just blows my mind. XXX in short was one long video of Extreme stunts, it was like the system it so blatantly marketd in the movie Play station. There was no intelligence and no good reason to go back twice, UNLESS PAYED TO!
Atleast at the end of a Playstation game you can play it over for free or get a good ending. If I wasn't with a date and we didn't make fun of it the whole time I would have been quite pissed. Trust me if your being paid to say these things I wouldn't mind. Matter of fact I wouldn't hate you at all most Holly Wood movies a garbage just to get enough capital to make the really great one. But if you really believe this then that is sad. And the little shot at the end really was straight out of a game Devil may Cry or something. but it was not impressive at all. -
What the hell with this PG-13-wave of crap?? I know lets pack in as many as we can, more than could be with the "R" rating, but at the expense of better content?? If'n your gonna go violent, go FULL ULTRA-VIOLENCE. I need at least 20 gallons of *violent fluids* spilled to help soak all this unconsummated PsuEdo-violence. Lets see some more T&A here, whats with all the teasing?? And I'm getting fucking SiCk and TiRED of all "psychotic **terrorists" now being of the recycled *politically correct* Eurotrash or White Power Aryan NeoNazi persuasion. Is this the only "acceptable" terrorists that will ever be cast again? GOnna get pretty boring, quite frankly they dont scare me too much. Hitlers been dead a long time, *ALLAH* is alive and WeLL! Lets see someone with a real "mission", not this *BreAKDowN of CiviliZaTION* lets all REGRESS to the "purity" of a simpler time. Stupid concept, retarded white villains,some nice effects, and not enough blood. Bruce Campbell would hand Vin his heart before he hit the ground.
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Vin Diesel: "I want all of THAT, in HERE. " When the gadget guy is done, they show the inside, i just had to laugh. There is so much cool looking shit on the inside of that car, i just knew the movie was gonna get a whole lot rowdier, especially with that huge tank of Fast and Furious style NOS sitting in between the two seats. But then what happens?? Not shit happens!! The badguy is already dead! The only thing that gets blowed up in that GTO is a goddamn fruit cart!
Now if they would have had yorgi jump in one of those 9 badass Ferarris he had, and for XXX to give chase, it would have more than made up for that rediculous scene where Diesel rail grinds on that dinner tray. All i have to say is that they better be setting up that GTO for XXX2, and Xander better blow shit up REAL GOOD next time. -
Aug 15, 2002 12:28:45 AM CDT
JACKIE CHAN AND JET LI ARE DOING A MOVIE TOGETHER SCHEDULED FOR
by jp3183
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XXX is a great B movie!!! Vin Diesle is a great B!! actor..
XXX is a good movie in terms of action and excitement it provides all these at full throttle. I enoyed the movie and enjoyed the new take on Secret Agent. HOwever If you go to this movie don't look for anything but glitz and glamour of explosions and stunts.
I really like how this moive doesn't try to be something it's not. I think Rob Cohen nows this is and action movie and didn't try to infuse to much of a story driven plot or a romantic entanglement such as other spy movies (MI:2) I am sure there will be many more installments of Xander Cage, becasue Vin Diesel is Hollywoods newest Bankable star and we all know how much Hollywood Execs love $$$$ -
Duh! He is an awesome actor with phenomenal talent, who like Arnold, Mel and other 'action' stars is doing the 'b' movies first to get his name a household name. THEN he will go on to more in depth movies. You are all so jealous of his movies and talent, it is just pitiful. The pitch black trilogy will be so kick ass!!! XXX rocked!!! It was pg13 you idiots--how much more wild could it have gotten?? You all just wish you could be Vin and get all the women he does. I bet you are all about 12 yr old geeks who can't even get a girl to talk to you. So keep hatin on Vin if you want, wait until he is as big as Mel (or even old Clint) then we will see who's who!!!! Later losers!
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being a bit of a bear in filming? can someone email me and explain what it means?
thanks! -
Aug 18, 2002 11:50:00 AM CDT
looks like one hell of a homoerotic comic book to me, harry
by drago2002
want to tell us something, buddy? feel like seeing vin diesel in his tighty-whitey's?
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Alot. There I said it.
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The nerdy guy with the gadgets. The fast car with rockets for headlights. The evil Russian trying to wipe out the world with a deadly virus. The ejection seat. Skiing, boating, sky diving all pathetic attempts at besting a Bond movie. What really sucks is that is wasn't even close. As I sat through this I found myself saying the various titles of Bond movies. The ejection seat, that was Goldfinger. The avalanche, that was The World is not Enough. The rocket headlights, The Living Daylights. The bombs made from bandages. That one was a steal from the gum bombs used in the originial Mission Impossible. This wouldn't be so bad if Diesel had done a better job. He proved to me in this film that he can not carry a movie by himself. If this had been done by anyone else, it would have flopped. All he had to do is just stand in a room and read a book. People would have flocked to it. He didn't act, he didn't even try. He just wore that awful fur lined coat and waited for the next round of the X games to start. The one liners were the worst of all. Bond has very subtle ways of showing his class. It may be something as small as straightening his tie, or brushing dust off of his jacket. That is what makes him cool, not his looks, or gadgets. Diesel did none of this. I read one review saying that this was made only to generate sequels. I couldn't agree more. One more thing, what in the hell is Samuel L. Jackson thinking?
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He ain't got shit on these biceps.
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Yah, yah, I really dug "XXX", and "Signs", the latter being a bit better IMHO. I just larf at the irony of "Signs" doing an extreme motorcycle leap over "XXX" to the #1 slot at the box office last week. The quiet creepiness with family values space invader movie gave Xavier's bald head a right proper waxing, y'all! The Road Warrior triumphs, and Diesel looks like Wez, only with egg on his face.
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Okay, firstly if anyone is actually reading this posting (and who does let's face it) please turn to the review Harry Knowles gave the aforementioned movie "The Fast And The Furious", or "Point Break With Cars" as it's commonly known. In that review he savages Mr Vin Diesel for his souless testosterone persona, note not performance as such but general presentation which you would assume could be said for all his films. Including xXx. But as we can clearly see Harry Knowles now finds the qualities he once loathed to be positive signs of brilliance from the monotoned one. Inconsistent? I couldn't comment but draw your own conclusions on the subject when I raise point two. Den. From the covers they look like homo erotica for withering octagenarians and sexually repressed teenage boys. And they bear more than a passing resemblence to Mr Diesel as stated. Something must have clicked somewhere - fantasy became reality and in a blinding orgasmic 3 Kleenex moment a new fan was born. Three words about this review. Get. A. Room.
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XXX was dumb, but better than Bond has been lately. The movie tried WAY too hard to be cool. It was begging us to think it was cool. It was like, 'Look! Look! I have parachutes, snowboards, and avalanches! Also tattoos! Lots of tattoos! And don't forget dirtbikes, skateboarders, dumb rap-rock bands who think they're punk, and penis-extender cars! Please, please think I am cool! ...Please? ...What about piercings? You like piercings, right?' A three year old could see through the mallet-on-the-head marketing on this, and would be offended by how retarded they really think we are.
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I thought that xXx was pretty good! I just saw it yesterday. It was packed with shitloads of action! It reminded me a hell of alot of James Bond with some Mission Imposible 2 frosting and a maybe a little bit of arnold on the top! Yeah xXx was still kinda one of those been there done that type of things. Some of the crap that Vin Disel did would have made James Bond shit his pants. So does James Bond a puss compared to him? I dont know. I still think that Bond is pretty damn cool. xXx was pretty much like a James Bond movie with a bunch of other crtap added to it. I would have to give xXx a 4 out of 5.
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I don't know who you are, where you come from or who's your momma - but I love you!!!!! First - the review: dead on! I so thoroughly enjoyed the suspension of the laws of physics - whew! total thrill ride! Second - DEN.
Did I mention? - DEN. I'm just wondering if you heard me - DEN.
'nuf said.
German Chocolate :) -
I so wanted to be a M.Night fan, but Signs left me gasping at the awful "baby monitor communication device", "crop circles navigation goof" and "water is the weapon" gaff.
Disapointed. -
There's something homo-erotic about those covers.
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I enjoyed the movie, but I'm not going to disagree with people who didn't like it. I'm not going to argue about the nature of 'popcorn movies' either, that gets old on EVERY single thread on this site. JUST ONE THING- one of the coolest scenes in the movie was when Diesel woke up in the plane with the other 'potentials'. The soldiers told them to get up and get ready, and suddenly all 3 went into their tough guy wisecrack routines- "I want to see the stewardess", "Where's my peanuts", etc...In that instant Vin Diesel was just another unoriginal roughneck wiseass with nothing of value to offer. That was funny! (of course, when the cargo door dropped the other 2 guys shat their pants while Vin Diesel kicked ass. But we knew that was gonna happen anyway.) I also liked the irony of Vin having his grungily cool GTO supercar stocked to the hubcaps with weapons, but none of them helped when he needed to blow up the robot sub thing.
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I saw this movie. I liked it. It's awful. I mean, really, really, really awful. Oh MY GOD, is it awful. Who reviewed this and liked it on it's own merits? Harry? Did he see the same XXX I did? Was he really wrapped up in a reverie of a decent comic for the two hours he was in the theater, or did he watch the movie at all?
I haven't seen another movie since this one. I can't make myself go.
I've been to film school, but I can still watch crap with the best of them. This movie was awful. Vin Diesel wasn't good in this movie, Asia Argento was awful, and Samuel L. Jackson was phoning in his performancce from the west coast. I can't imagine enjoying this movie except on the "it's so horrbily bad, I can't look away" Batman and Robin level. I'm shocked it's been even slightly popular. A solar powered submarine with a jet engine? This is what we can expect in 2002?
And the Xander Zone? This, maybe five minutes after the credits, was when I gave up on the movie. This isn't cool. This isn't "in your face." This is the Simpson's "Poochie" with a penchant for GTA3. "They want to take away our video games, but they the only education we got!" Indeed. I love lines dictated by focus groups. The idea that anyone like Xander Cage or whatever his name was could do this more than once is just hysterical. This is the best fantasy since Krull.
The misoginy in this movie was funny, if you like your funny in the way that you can't believe that's what people really believed when Birth of a Nation was released. NOW should find the writers and producers of this movie and subject them to 48 hours of Yentyl.
For god's sake, the money that went into making this could have fed Haiti for a year. But instead we're to believe in a group called Anarchy 99? Whose agenda is no agenda? I know these guys. They're a bunch of stoners living off Riverside in South Austin who work at Thundercloud subs.
Asia Argento. She's a gap kid with an accent, it made me miss the glory days of benneton. And, OH MY GOD! She's a spy, too? HA HA HA. Oh, man. Don't even get me started on the truly bizarre and poorly delivered insults Vin Diesel tosses at her when her character doesn't want to pounce on his manhood.
This isn't cool, mindless fun. This is a Surge commercial with a plot dreamed up by a 12 year old, including a 12 year old's idea of sexuality. this Gen Y cool with the single worst soundtrack since... well, probably since the X-Games.
The stunts in this movie are horribly unbelievable, the editing of said stunts like the 3am shift on ESPN2.
Watch this one when it replays endlessly on TBS or something. It's totally awful, but not worth one cent. It's really fucking funny. Everyone involved should be blackballed in LA.
go ahead and enjoy this. In five years it's going to be the Michael Bolton album you have to figure out how to get rid of without even the trash man knowing you had it. -
This is the finest inadvertent gay porn since Top Gun! I'm sure I wasn't alone in having to sit through the credits just to let my stiffy subside enough to be able to get up without attracting too much attention. Thanks, Harry!
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Don't get me wrong, I love movie violence just as much as crackwhores love crack and whoring, but watching the trailers for this celluliod shit made me want to vomit with rage !!! I'm tired of action movies that try to make the acyion star look like Superman and James Bond roled into one. This movie is a shallow attempt at pandering to GenX's notion of what's "xtreme". Is it just me or Harry's review of Vin Diesel (thats so made up) come off as creepy? I hope he didn't get any on the moniter.
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...'nuff said.
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good stunts--stupid plot,acting by diesel from the Van Damm/Seagal acting school (outhouse?) For a decent Vin Diesel movie see 'Pitch Black'
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Jan 30, 2003 12:28:51 AM CST
This movie represents all that is wrong with modern cinema
by the red raider
I can only imagine the behind the scenes work that went into this.
"Hurry we have 28 minutes to write a script for a Vin Diesel vehicle."
We'll hire a bunch of actors (who really cares who) and give them their lines as they are about to walk on screen. Then we'll hire Samuel L. Jackson for credibility. Once the twelve brain dead monkey have finished writing the script, we'll start production. Before theyh are done, we will make up random stunts that may or may not have relevance to the story or action that is happening on screen. Our audience will more than likely be the same people who dished out money to see ESPN Ulitmate X and Jackass, so plot is rather inconsequential. As a little inside joke, lets make the main character not want to sell out, when this movie is in fact one big sell out. Ha Ha, we love irony. What? The script says that the bad guys made a chemical that is only vulnerable in deep water and its mode of delivery is a submarine? Oh well. No one is expecting a plot from this. Quite on set, if anyone makes disparaging remarks about Vin Diesel's total lack of acting talent, you are fired.
(2 hours later, a movie is made).
Millions of people flocked to theatres to witness XXX. Because of this, 200 mind-numbing clones and sequels will flood the market. God save us all. We will forever be known as the generation that killed cinema.
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