Cool News
All Sorts Of xXx Reviews Racing In!!
Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Far as I can tell, this is the last big-ticket summer movie coming out this year. SIGNS hits this weekend, so the following weekend is all about the Vin. Looks like our spies are starting to get a look at the film all over the place now, and seem to be enjoying themselves for the most part.
This mixed review from Sean Bateman (I hear his brother is a total bastard) is probably the harshest of the bunch, and even he seems to have enjoyed himself:
Camden College’s very own Sean Bateman is back to tell you about XXX. I’m breaking my nondisclosure pact bandit style. There is a lot to talk about. First off, my general impression of the film as a whole. It’s not great, and it’s not terrible, it’s somewhere in between. Vin Diesel comes off great in the film. He is smooth and commands every scene he is in. He is a bad ass in this film. Samuel Jackson works well as the cliché authority figure with a twist. However, we never really find out anything interesting about him. We know he has third degree burns on his face from working the field, but we don’t know what that really ultimately means or how it happened. A very thin character to say the least. Asia Argento as Yalena, the love interest performs her role, but is nothing special. Finally, Marton Csokas as Yorgi is the standard James Bond bad guy hell bent on destroying the world.
The story itself goes something like this. Due to the incompetence of James Bond-ish mid-thirties agents not being “connected” to youth, the NSA’s missions begin to fail. Rogue youngsters are heading up crime, and the NSA needs another rogue youngster with an attitude to infiltrate the gang. In comes extreme sports guru Xander Cage, or Triple X. The back-story is fun and engaging. Standard James Bond bad guy then due to his poor treatment
as a Russian soldier wants to release nerve gas on the world and cause total anarchy as revenge. The plot is cliché, but it works.
There are a lot of good things about the movie. The opening scene with the James Bond-ish agent is an interesting introduction to the movie and the NSA’s problems with the youth of the world. A really awesome touch is the movie has a high-octane James Bond score. The action scenes work well within the story. The best thing about this movie is its “popcorn movie” moments.
Now to the bad parts. This is an action-spy movie so I wasn’t expecting great acting or well-developed characters, so I won’t attack that aspect of the film. Okay, to begin with every stunt in the movie ties into extreme sports, which lends to unbelievable overkill of Xander Cage’s background. The movie is heavily doused with loud music. That’s okay when it lends to the atmosphere, but usually all it does is make it impossible to hear dialogue. The action scenes as a whole are fun, but too long. The biggest scene in the movie, the avalanche, would be great if the scene would have started with Xander causing the avalanche. However, there is about 5 minutes of just regular snowboarding before that happens. It’s ridiculous. Finally, for a movie touted as high-octane fun, the middle of the movie is slow and boring. They should cut off about 10 minutes at around the midpoint of the film.
So overall, XXX is a relatively fun movie experience. One little note though, the movie feels just like the 80’s film if “If Looks Could Kill.” That movie is better though. So, wait for the crowds to die down, and see the movie a few weeks into the release. Then go rent “If Looks Could Kill.”A Greico fan, eh? coughyou’resuspectcough. This next guy keeps it pretty simple:
I won 2 tickets to an advanced screening here, and did not expect to see, feel, and just enjoy the pure living dog shit out of this movie. There were a few hick-ups with the sound, and 2 camera angle changes right at the beginning that looked strange, but free tickets, how can I complain. Dude Vin Diesel is the new Arnold period. The man has got it, and yes the ladies in the theater were all in need of fresh dry pair of panties after the movie, cause each time Vin showed a bit of beef cake, it sounded like a freaking rock concert right there in the theater.
Ok cutting to the chase here.
Harry!!! plain and simple, this movie is exactly what you think it is, and it is Vin Diesel unchained and cut completely loose, and done right. The action is right there, and right on beat, and the scenes and FX are well done, and look great. This movie is a must see, and establishes Vin Diesel as a kick ass leading action hero with no doubt.
I highly recommend this movie to any action fan, or woman who has recently had trouble with feminine dryness.High praise, indeed. Finally, our last reviewer’s got a little love to throw:
Harry - Sometimes I hear a little too much hot air in the prerelease reviews, and it's not that they're lying, but sometimes just seeing a movie early makes you want to really love it. No offense, but some of this is because of reviews like Blade II, which had me thinking I was in for something I cold wring enjoyment out of. Instead, that movie was a total piece of shit. (though to be fair, I felt like Attack of the Clones was every bit the movie you said it was). So, I operate under the assumption that a glowing
review has a lot to do with prerelease excitement, and I thought in the case of XXX, it's worth noting that this IS in fact a very bad ass movie. Reign of Fire, I'm sorry, wasn't a good movie. Eight Legged Freaks was boring. XXX is actually a completely cool flick, though it's not going to bounce any Arnie movies off your shelf (unless your shelf
has Junior).
I personally am not into Vin Diesel, he strikes me as a bitch, and he's like 40, but no matter. In this film, if you aren't rooting for him, you're a retard. He sure thinks he's a lot cooler than he actually comes across, but it works. You just need to think of X as a formerly skinny bitch who got his ass beat enough on the motocross tracks as a kid that he decided to bulk up and insist he was tough guy (call it "The Vin Diesel Story). I don't know if Vin did some of his own stunts, or they had great doubles, but I never once had a problem believing he was doing everything in this movie (remember in Face/Off when they "bravely" showed the faces of the stuntmen? Yah, that was
total shit, this is more careful and totally convincing).
And speaking of those stuntmen: Wow. I heard one died while filming, and not to be callous, but I bet that motherfucker would love this to be his swan song because there are some awesome stunts in here. I was feeling like dangerous stunts were gone now with CGI, but even the subtle ones in this film are breathtaking. I think it's REALLY worth noting the feel it gives the film. There are VERY few CGI scenes, at least that stick out. I believe that although it would have been expensive, this movie could have been made a decade ago, because there's so many practical effects and locations. This is a VERY good thing for my eyes, which simply pick up CGI too quickly these days (By thr way, are we getting sharper, or are animators overambitious?)
As for Asia Argento, I have to admit she was wasted. I want to bang her, but not bad enough to put up with her awful phony accent. And what's with no hot clothes and shit? Please, Rob Cohen, you did so much right with bringing back the 80's style action movie, don't screw it up by respecting women. Tits in the sequel. No, seriously, show some tits. C'mon, there's tits in Just One of the Guys, and that was PG-13. They showed Tenacious D's puppet penises on Crank Yankers, and they can't show us just one of Asia's milk bombs? Make them prosthetic if that's the issue, but what the hell is a good action movie that doesn't double as a spank aid?
To be honest, the only thing I thought sort of sucked was Sam Jackson. True, he is a BMF, but does anyone else feel like he has been phoning it in for a few years now? (I'm looking at you, Changing Lanes.) He distracted me in this, and served the same character that the Silence of the Lambs guy did in the Fast and the Furious. I just felt bored by him, and though he gets one good line off to Diesel hat implies he could fare better in a sequel, SLJ fans should not go to this movie expecting anything too cool.
One thing Cohen extends here is his use of lens filters to color certain scenes. He really stylizes and color treats in a specific way (which I'm convinced was half the reason for the Furious success). This was fun in that movie, but frankly awesome here, especially in the European settings. I'm sure those of you who have been to those places won't remember them looking quite so vibrant, but it's a good thing.
One qualm: Where the fuck is a real villian? What was the last fairly recent action movie with a cool villian? The fact that Dennis Hopper even entered your mind is a bad, bad sign (unless yuo were thinking of Blue Velvet). In XXX 2, don't be a pussy Cohen, give him a REAL enemy. Wouldn't you love to see Arnie facing off against Vin? Maybe end up as his father? Or even someone affordable and cheesy like Jon Voight? Give us some spice with the villians, if I'm gonna watch these movies 100 times I want to see a damn worthy villian.
So yes, go see this movie opening weekend, or don't see til DVD with friends. It's a fun crowd flick that works on the crowd, even journalists and know-it-all industry phonies. So don't feel guilty about making that cocky AARP-registered Diesel the action hero he wants to be, because though he may look like the buffed-up lovechild of Jimmy Durante and Scotty Schwartz, he has found himself in a kickass movie that perfectly complements his personality. Sneak some Coors into the movie with your buddies, go to a full showing, and have some shameless fun.
Call me BOOTYTWAPSWith a name like that, how can this guy be wrong?!
"Moriarty" out.
-
+ Expand All
-
Jul 30, 2002 2:06:23 AM CDT
Samuel L. phoning it in? Survey says....F*CK YOU, MOTHERF*CKER!!
by dirkbelig
If you didn't understand what ACTING SLJ was doing in "Changing Lanes", then you need to just go back and watch your worn-out "Pulp Fiction" VHS and yank your crank whenever he looks like he's gonna blow. -------- Oj, and.....FIRST!!!!
-
Jul 30, 2002 2:19:50 AM CDT
Hi guys, i have a question for anyone who'd care to answer i
by hank_scorpio
-
It'll be the best Bond film since The Living Daylights. Not even Madonna will manage to screw it up! Seriously, from what I've read of the plot it sounds like they're really pulling out all the stops for the 40th anniversary and it's going to be a truly spectacular Bond flick rather than the grim n gritty style they've been going for lately.
-
I think Die another day will be cool. The teaser looked very promising.
-
I have high hopes for xXx and DAD (sounds like a very dodgy porn film). Spy capers are fantastic entertainment if done right and both these have great potentials. Also I hear that DAD is chock full of references to earlier Bond films, hence those pics of Halle Berry, looking very Ursula Andress in a bikini. I know Mori and Harry think the Bond franchise is a dead horse, but GoldenEye, IMHO, showed how Bond films can still work...
-
The bond films are always a mixed bag. Only one or two of the early ones were really good films. but they always contain at least one or two really cool sequences, characters or gags. Im not really excited to see the new one but i'll definately check it out when it opens. Michael Madsen and Madonna's in it? With regards xXx, wasn't really interested in this till i saw the trailer a while ago and it looks damn cool, cohen's visuals are really improoving with each movie. But i think Vin is overrated, just big muscles and a cool voice, but then again that's more goin for him than Arnie, van damme etc...
-
Something I noticed on the trailers of this movie is pretty right out sad. I hope they edit this out... When Vin jumps off the bridge with the car flying over, you know how it gives the camera view from inside the car, well when it gives a wide shot you can TOTALLY see the camera mounted on the car. And even worse when it shows the car hitting the ground, you can tell theres a camera there; its like 3 feet tall for God sakes! Please don't tell me that this movie is going to be that cheeezzzyyy! With all those millions they blew on the actors and the locations, least they could have done is had better camera shots...
-
WTF: " ... Due to the incompetence of James Bond-ish mid-thirties agents not being
-
First off, I agree with Ernst about Goldeneye. By far, that was the coolest Bond film of the 80's OR 90's. I feel the series is getting a little silly lately and I hope they can put it "back on course". As far as XXX goes, it really poses no threat. Bond appeals to men ages 9-75. XXX will appeal to ages 9-35 mostly. Bond has a legacy and Vin Unleaded is just the flavor of the month. "Updating themes/characters for a new generation" has never worked. I'm sure $$$ will roll in, but will the appeal last? Vin's now asking 20 million per picture? Sounds like his ego may get in the way of his future. (See Jim Carrey)
-
I like Samuel L. Jackson, shit I'm white and I guess that makes me "tha man." But if you think he's been playing the same character in all his movies then you haven't seen the Red Violin. Really liked this flick and he holds it. You see, while he was filming the Long Kiss Goodnight up here in the great white north (you can make any alluviations to "white" in that sentence you want too) he got to hanging around with some great Canadian filmmakers like Don McKellar and Bruce McDonald and it led him to this Canadian/Italian production. Also his work in Eve's Bayou, The Caveman's Valentine and Trees Lounge wouldn't fit the Pulp Fiction model. You see, it looks to me like the problem isn't that he continues to do other roles, but that people like you don't seem to fucking notice. Check out the Red Violin, you won't regret it.
-
Jul 30, 2002 11:23:18 AM CDT
I agree with DirkBelig, Samuel L. Jackson was phenomenal in Chan
by wardog
That movie really shows some acting, as well as some heart, i.e., both SLJ's and Affleck's characters were CHANGED by what they'd gone through and for the better. ****** And what's this about a phony accent by Asia Argento? What's phone about it? Am I wrong in that she's Italian? Got a problem with that?
-
Shit I love that game...but you synopsis of what Bond appeals to fails to take into account one important demographic - women. Bond appeals to women in terms of its box office pull. What, you think all they see is Julia Roberts flicks? This is why it has lasting appeal, why they can afford 19 sequels. If it was just guys who loved it, we wouldn't last past 3 episodes - or we'd be on Predator 16 by now.
-
The freakin' on-line trailer is followed by a marketing survey. face it, nobody made this film for any other reason than to target a demographic. Some balding executives in suits are behind this movie. If you pay to see it, we'll all pay the price with more stupid movies like this in years to come.
To repeat myself, You have a better chance of selling me on "JAR JAR, THE MUSICAL" than this piece of Hollywood crap....
Yeah, I quess ypu'd like this flick if you think Fred Durst is a cool guy and your knowledge of "extreme sports" comes from Mountain dew commercials. This is a poseur movie for the shopping mall demographic, nothing more.
-
These were great and honest reviews. Who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks. Whatever happened to the good old days where a critic could give his opinion without being read his rights?
Well just thought I'd put my word in over hear. It's a lot more interesting over at the dr.strangelove's XXX board.
I can't wait to see it. Vin Diesel is gonna kick ass once again. Anyone who dissagrees with me, is just jealous of his good looks and acting abilities. -
Jul 30, 2002 2:07:24 PM CDT
Thanks for all the replies regarding Die Another Day guys. Gues
by hank_scorpio
Firstly, Blofeld was right on the money about Goldeneye, can't imagine why Moriarty hates it (it's on one of his best and worst of the 90's lists). I know i'm gonna get shot in the head for this but, well, i really liked the world is not enough. Alright, i admit it was seriously lacking in the action department, which is all most movie goers expect from the Bonds these days, but it did so much right. It had detailed characters (Renard had a serious low self esteem problem), Desmond L's last scene (sniff sniff), more screen time for M, etc. I guess most people thought it sucked because they just don't want depth in a Bond film, sigh. Not looking forward to Mori's review of DAD though, i know he'll tear it apart, but then again, i think he's starting to descend into madness, and for a supposed evil genius, that's saying something.
-
Jul 30, 2002 2:09:49 PM CDT
One thing Cohen extends here is his use of lens filters to color
by wee willie
One thing Cohen extends here is his use of lens filters to color certain scenes. One thing Cohen extends here is his use of lens filters to color certain scenes. One thing Cohen extends here is his use of lens filters to color certain scenes. One thing Cohen extends here is his use of lens filters to color certain scenes. One thing Cohen extends here is his use of lens filters to color certain scenes. One thing Cohen extends here is his use of lens filters to color certain scenes. One thing Cohen extends here is his use of lens filters to color certain scenes.
-
....Guzman fan - referrence to Luis Guzman right? That dude is great (Limey). In my last post, I was referring to a claim that Sam Jackson hasn't done anything different in his post-Pulp Fiction years. Therefore the Red Violin is a good example. I would also put it to you that his Unbreakable character was different. I wouldn't blame him for phoning it in in such crap-fests as Negotiator and this cartoon masquerading as a movie (crap-fest status yet to be determined), but to say the man has never departed the formula isn't insulting, its just flat wrong. That is all. Plus, I got a soft spot for the guy - he is kind of an adopted son of my city, and is probably the biggest Raptors fan out there. And while I'm at it - who thought he was mailing it in in Jackie Brown? Yeah, no one.
-
All you jerkoffs who diss his acting, go and see Boiler Room, then get back to me! Hell, even Affleck gives a balls-out performance in that film. I'm not a big fan of either of them, but credit where its due...
-
"If you aren't rooting for him, you're a retard"...that's gotta be up there with another reviewer's comment on Fast and the Furious.."If you don't dig this you're gay!"....a tagline up with the best of them haha
-
As a grown woman and a connoisseur of male flesh, I have to say that Vin Diesel has the kind of limited allure that one usually finds projected by a dominant leather fag. It's akin to that sort of "desperate to be a MAN" thing that some sports figures give off as well.
Coupled with his "duh" vocal delivery (a man's voice is an important part of his sexy factor), and the lack of intelligent life behind his eyes, I can't see him showing much staying power with the ladies... -
As for this flick, no way in hell I'm bothering with it in the theater. I like what I've seen of Diesel, screen charisma to burn, don't give a damn if he's 40 and gay as Nathan Lane. I just don't have the time for standard Hollywood moviemill nonsense. Everything I hear about this flick is the same. Diesel rocks. PG-13 chicks and action. Nice stunts. Dialogue and plot completely ignored. My $8 isn't going to furthering the belief in Hollywood that plot is unnecessary. The best action flicks have plots that make sense, even contribute to the impact of the film - Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, Terminator (1 and 2), Hard Boiled. This whole film concept smacks of marketing - extreme sports are hip, lets make an action flick about them! Dumb. I'll see this one when someone else rents it.
-
James Bond-ish mid-thirties agents not being
-
Pardon cheesy rhymin' subject line. It's late. It's occurred to me that big bank for xXx could lead to a nice hefty budget for the "Pitch Black" sequel(s???). This could be a Very Good Thing, if Twohy's ambitious visions could get their due. ****call me Noocyte ("A cell of awareness...")
-
I take it these guys are Fast and the Furious fans. Well maybe not the first one. Normally I'd pass. I don't like Nascar. Loud music and car chases don't make a movie for me. Hense, I skipped FATF. Typical no plot, low awareness type flick. This movie looks more of the same. But... I guess I like spy flicks and I kinda' like the Winter X games. If I got that going for me, I suppose I might as well check out the matinee. We'll see. For the record though, I'm not expecting anything thought provoking here. Oh, well. I sat through Tomb Raider and Planet of the Apes last summer. It's got to be better than those two.
-
This movie looks cool, but I still think any Bond film will be better the only film that they has succeeded as being a Bond film so far that wasn't a part of the franchise was "True Lies", but now we have Vin Diesel doing X-Games-like stunts and kicking ass. I took a chance to watch some clips of this movie on the net and I thought the whole thing where he escapes a sharpshooter's fire by sliding and grinding down a railing with a kitchen tray was kind of dumb, but any other way the avalanche scene kicks ass only they need to add snowmobilers, a helicopters, and skiiers chasing after only in the last minute to be devoured in snow while Vin escapes. That would be an awesome scene, but oh well...that's just me. I'm writing a spy flick right now as we speak and I think I got a good idea one where it'll show an older Bond in his retirement days and a recruit he must train to save the world from an ex-spy and a Russian idealist/a corrupted general. I mean if anybody likes that idea report back otherwise, I'm still going to make the movie any other way.
-
Diesel's awesome. You can tell by all the wanna-be's here that gotta tear him down to make themselves look better. Eminem's a little twat and Diesel could rip him in half like a Craft cheese slice, so don't dare say that Eminem would be "better" as xXx. Yeah, I hear Eminem can act, but I hope his movie fails anyway because I don't want to see that masochistic and homophobic little turd have any success on the big screen. At least Diesel is believable. I'd like to see anyone here show balls enough to diss Diesel to his face--fat chance of that happening. But you can bet I'd tell Eminem he's a little punk.
And hey, does it seem so out-of-whack to have a plot where the NSA is recruiting "extreme" types to do its dirty work? If so, then consider real life, and how the CIA actively recruits from college campuses.
I'm also a Bond fan, and I don't see xXx as putting and end to the Bond franchise, but it doesn't look like it's going to be total shit either. Not worse than Bond, not better--just different. Bond does it with grace and style, xXx will do it with a smirk and a sledgehammer. It's gonna be entertaining either way.
So to all the Diesel-bashers: nyah! -
I got to see XXX tonight and if you like the James Bond films you will love this one. It is everything a Bond film is including a "Q"-like character and is better than the last two. It's got a couple of parts where you have to suspend reality a little bit but considering some of the stuff the Bond movies try to sell us(i.e. the nuclear sub sequence in The World is not Enough) it's not too bad. Vin Diesel does a great job of the anti-hero forced to be a spy for his country in exchange for his freedom.
Readers Talkback
User Login
Top Talkbacks
- Whitney Houston 1963 - 2012 -- 325 total posts 322 posts
- New JUDGE DREDD post production footage pops up -- 106 total posts 106 posts
- HANNA's Saoirse Ronan to boss around seven little people -- 63 total posts 60 posts
- Does ‘SNL’ Rhyme With ‘Deschanel’?? Learn Which SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Vet Hosts After Sexy Zooey!! -- 74 total posts 58 posts
- There's a STAR TREK video game that is going to lead into JJ's STAR TREK 2 apparently... -- 159 total posts 51 posts
- If the Behind the Scenes Pics of the Day drops her pen, pick it up, but don’t look at her legs or else it will be on your record. -- 47 total posts 41 posts
- AVENGERS enemy revealed as pink boardgame pieces... You might suffer some form of elation... SPOILERS!!! -- 161 total posts 34 posts
- To Commemorate The 3D Release Of STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE, George Lucas Wants You To Know...Greedo Shoots First!! -- 488 total posts 33 posts
- Friday Brings SWEEPS DAY NINE!! Gab Here About Tonight’s FRINGE!! Plus Einstein on TIM, Wiig On PORTLANDIA, MAHER, CLONE, GIFTED, GRIMM, SPARTACUS, SUPERNATURAL, GOLD RUSH And More!! -- 121 total posts 23 posts
- Here's The Red Band Trailer For Drafthouse Films' THE FP! -- 70 total posts 20 posts