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Dr Strangelove raves about Vin Diesel and 'xXx'!!!

Hey folks, Harry here with a review of one of the flicks I'm most looking forward to seeing that is left unseen this summer thus far. I am talking about 'xXx'! Vin Diesel has an incredible heaping load of charisma on screen, and watching him go at the spy game in a hardcore reinvention of the spy for the 21st century... Well, it could be massively cool, and from the report our Chatroom regular... DR STRANGELOVE sent in... it looks as if the movie delivers exactly what it promises!

Hey Harry, Dr.Strangelove here,  

Just saw XXX and man, the movie is just fantastic, I expected much less but I ended up seeing the most "pure fun" movie of the year. I liked The Fast and the Furious, I always thought Vin Diesel was kinda ok, but after seeing this VIN Diesel is a revelation, the leading man of the 21st century, in XXX he has incredible charisma, virtually the entire movie TREMORS from his massive on screen presence and the fantastic stunts Rob Cohen has conceived, and to all of you who liked The Fast and the Furious, the former seems like a little teaser trailer to XXX. This movie maybe isn't the most "intellectually" engaging but it sure brings to mind a great Gladiator quote "Are you not entertained" and pure, action packed entertainment is what this movie is about and lots of it at that, more and better than in any recent flick I can remember. This movie puts to shame the latest Bond sequels and just shows how that franchise has lost the pulse of new generations, XXX is Dr.No of certainly a new "Bond Sized" franchise, its refreshing and engaging, it kicks you outta your seat and makes you wish you were Vin Diesel, I have no doubt this movie is gonna have a massive following.  

From the opening sequence you know you're in for "something completely different", the music is fantastic and the cinematography is great, though both are not over-stated and thus not annoying like in some recent action moves that try so much to be cool. Unlike the action heroes of yesterday Diesel plays Xander "X" Cage as a thrill seeking, likable X sports legend with a real human, anti-heroic side with whom we can all associate to. After all at the beginning he's just a regular guy who doesn't want to get involved with all the spy stuff, and the movies of the past Xander changes through the course of the movie, yes there is character development in an action movie. And unlike Bond all the on-screen goings have a deep impact on our hero.   

The other great thing, and certainly a big break in this movie is a little known New Zealand actor Marton Csokas who some of you maybe know from his fantastic work playing a Croatian refugee Darko in a great little New Zealand movie "Broken English", but I'm pretty sure more of you recognize him from his work as a semi regular in Xena the warrior princess. Csokas does great work with the sketch of a character the script gives him, he builds "Yorgi" up into a believable and charismatic bad guy. Some people are calling him the new Russell Crowe, but he's more like in vein of Guy Pierce.  

Other noteworthy appearance is that of Sam L Jackson who gives his NSA Agent Gibbons certain death, legitimacy and intensity like only he can. Asia Argento is also in, she looks good, but not as great as I know she can, but based on his prior work I feel there was a deliberate choice on Cohen's part to make her and others less statuesque and more naturalistic, still she delivers a fun performance and is generally awesomely sexy. ( to see what I'm talking about, see how Cohen masterfully avoided at certain times inappropriate statuesque shoots of Jordana Brewster and Paul Walker in F&F, in favor of more naturalistic look and expressions. Great work Rob, it's the attention to such little stuff that makes up a good movie). I hope this finally gets Az lots of much needed and well deserved massive USA exposure she's been missing out for some time. She's one of the most interesting and talented chicks in movies today.  

But no matter how good they play or how good they look, the supporting roles are just nothing but "pretty" scenery for Diesel, the real star of this movie, because its Diesel and his charisma, his persona that injects massive amounts of dynamics into this movie, its action, its story and makes it all work. And WORK it does. Cohen shows a great sense for movement and action, unlike most recent action movies and like F&F there's little disorientation in the action and none of that excess shakycam stuff, still the editing is explosive and adds with the music, Diesel and the stunts to make XXX a movie fun like few others. There's all kinds of crafts, cool cars, submarines that adds to the overall coolness and shows that this baby cost 90 million $. Locations are all top notch recalling some of the best from Bond and Mission Impossible, Prague is indeed a wonderful place to shoot. To sum it up, great visuals, great production values.  

You may have noticed that I've barely touched on the story and the script, why ? Well because in a movie like this script really serves little purpose, its Vin saves the world, there's lots of really funny humor, some bond and other spy spoofs, some nice character development,... But lets make it clear, this is no Road to Perdition script wise, nor a "realistic portrayal" of spycraft at the beginning of the 21st century, Its something WAY much more fun, its Bond, but not you'r grand daddy's bond of the 60's ,"X" is a man in tune with times. I feel "X" and with him Diesel will be the first icons of the 21st century. This movie is all about Vin and excess action and what more can we want. There's cool action, hot babes, amazing stunts and the "guy we all want be as cool" for guys, and there's Vin and Vin's "guns" for the chicks.  

What can I say, is this a good movie? Way yes !... Some can say its mindless, excess, pure action, blah this and blah that... but in the end is it entertaining? YES!... So I'm gonna finish with something our hero would probably say "Bored, wanna be entertained,...WANNA BE ENTERTAINED.. oh, Shut up man, go see XXX".  

Wanna comment?.. troll me to hell ? send me your reaction , I'd be happy to reply.  

Dr. Strangelove

Readers Talkback
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  • July 27, 2002, 2:16 a.m. CST

    Guns and Chicks!

    by Shub-Wankalot

    High octane action, guns ablazing, babes aplenty...sounds like mindless fun to me! A popcorn filler, with a side order of martini, shaken, not stirred...

  • July 27, 2002, 2:25 a.m. CST

    by Starbuck1975

    The Fast and the Furious was a heaping pile of MTV edited stupidity...terrible acting, but plenty of testosterone and fast cars...Vin Diesal has the charisma of a piece of steak, because that is all he is...a piece of meat to get high school girls all hot and bothered...he mumbles half of his lines, and talks like he has a mouth full of marbles...oh, and if this review wasnt a studio plant, I dont know what is.

  • July 27, 2002, 2:32 a.m. CST

    THis looks like it could be cool

    by dogfish112

    The first trailer made me laugh and shrug this movie off as mindless, stupid and boring. THe latest trailer has awakened a curosity and hope that this could actually be quite good. Here's hoping. Thanks Strangelove for a nice promotional review that helped pique my curosity further.

  • July 27, 2002, 2:40 a.m. CST

    ya...

    by trailblazerdude

    i stopped reading after 'i enjoyed fast and the furious'

  • July 27, 2002, 2:41 a.m. CST

    If it means sitting through 100 minutes of that 'Click... Cl

    by Cash Bailey

    ... then I'll give it a miss. But Vin has really lowered himself from being a promising writer\actor\director with real ambition and talent to just another lunk-headed action hack.

  • July 27, 2002, 3:23 a.m. CST

    The obligatory Bond comparison

    by MaxCalifornia.

    Interesting comment, Bond has lost the pulse of the new generation...yes that's quite possibly true, and thank God for that, the last think I want to happen when I go to watch Die another day is to be sitting behind a bunch of Limp Bizkit worshipping, Fast and the furious loving jock wannabes. I mean imagine if Bond DID find the "pulse of the new generation". Can you imagine the lush theme song by say, Ludacris? Linkin Park? Eminem playing the villain? Every single shot in the film lasting no more than two seconds? Well ya see where I'm going, not everything has to appeal to the MTV demographic to stay in business; Bond plays to ages 8-80, whereas I can't honestly imagine too many adults going to see this thing. Anyway I knew xxx wasn't for me as soon as I saw the "money shot" of Mr. X trying to outrun a CGI avalanche. Been there, done that, in On her Majesty's secret service, only then they used a REAL avalanche!

  • July 27, 2002, 3:51 a.m. CST

    In the 60's, I invented a sophisticaed weather-changing heat

    by empyreal0

  • July 27, 2002, 4:11 a.m. CST

    TREMORS!!!

    by Mooeth

    Phew... for a second there I thought he meant he had all the charisma of the movie Tremors.... scary stuff.

  • July 27, 2002, 4:13 a.m. CST

    Ahh yes, 'The Fast and the Furious'

    by Billy Talent

    What a wonderful, wonderful film! How do I spell quality? V-I-N-D-I-E-S-E-L.

  • July 27, 2002, 4:58 a.m. CST

    The Rice and The Riceiest...

    by SG7

    ...altezza tail tilghts are ghey. And so was TFATF. "I need NAWS." Ghey. 4-bangers /w fart pipes : Ghey.

  • July 27, 2002, 5:25 a.m. CST

    HARRY, YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND

    by CorporalHicks

    Vin Diesel is AWFUL. The absolute worst action star, period. People keep comparing him to AHNOLD of the '80s. Diesel has no charm about him at ALL; he's nowhere near what Arnold used to be. Believe me, I've seen XXX; he's EGREGIOUSLY AWFUL. Nothing at all good about his performance. I just wish the guy would explode; that would solve so many problems with the world.

  • July 27, 2002, 5:50 a.m. CST

    A Steven Segal for the new millenium. Jesus.

    by rizla

    Didn't we learn anything from the 80s, folks? I can't believe the hype this cheese-head dipshit has been getting. A gravelly voice and a vest doth not charisma make!This fuckwit should be sentenced to straight-to-video hell for eternity. I mean, you all know this in your guts, right? Right? I'll just be weeping in the corner if anyone needs me.

  • July 27, 2002, 6:27 a.m. CST

    Vin Diesel: Corporate Creation

    by Lazarus Long

    How can any self-respecting lover of films see a film with a guy named "Vin Diesel" starring in it? Call me cynical, and I know "Tom Cruise" sounds pretty cheesy and is now taken for granted as a normal name, but "Vin Diesel"? Was this name spit out by some Action Star Name Creator computer program? Obviously V.D. has some kind of "ethnic" background he's trying to hide with his automotive moniker, and personally I find it disgusting. In this day and age, is that necessary? This isn't the 40's where the hispanic girl is forced to become Rita Hayworth, or Bernie Schwartz hides his Jewish background by becoming Tony Curtis. When Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Franka Potente, Penelope Cruz, and a host of other actors are able to make names for themselves naturally, it's sad that "Vin Diesel" has to hide behind some ridiculous action-fantasy identity. It sounds like a computer game character. You can't deny it. The guy can NOT act. He sounds like an illiterate moron when he talks, and not in a cool foreign Schwarzenegger way either. People with speech impediments do not make good action heros. Stop feeding the Hollywood machine that makes fabricated personas like this possible. Fast and the Furious may have been fun, same with Pitch Black. But losers like V.D. are a dime a dozen and can be picked up at Venice Beach and paid S.A.G. scale each time they need a new Brand Name Hero. Don't let this bronze Mr. Clean become a household name.

  • July 27, 2002, 8:13 a.m. CST

    Right but is there a blond dude?

    by Spab2

    My theory: Vin only has a hit where he's playing against a blond dude.

  • July 27, 2002, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Charisma?

    by servoet

    Vin Diesel has as much charisma as a week old bagel. I'll be happy when he finally goes away. How come we need an "extreme" spy? Isn't being a spy extreme enough? Does Spider-Man need a snowboard, so he'll be "EXTREME!"

  • July 27, 2002, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Segal sucks SHit!!

    by Movieteacher

    Steven Segal has always sucked and will allways suck so if Vin is the Steven Segal for the next millenium... maybe i will just have to stay away from his movies from now on!

  • July 27, 2002, 10:59 a.m. CST

    gET OFF VIN'S BACK!!

    by Minega

    He has got great charisma onscreen..he was awesome in Pitch black so why all the hating?Is he the Freddie Prinze of action or what?And on an unrelated note,what is with this 'Has beer cheats on wife'thing that is an obsession with talkbackers?anyone know this please send me an email.I imagine the fact that i think Vin is a great actor should get me mail though..hate mail..flame away...

  • July 27, 2002, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Enough with the Seagal comparisons.

    by Abyss

    Vin's a big bloke, but Seagal would fucking BURY him. "You a tough guy? You think you could take me? Let's see how tough you are."

  • July 27, 2002, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Enough With The Bond Comparisons

    by Rebeck

    I read one more "reviewer" who says this is the new Bond and I'm going to puke. The audiences will decide that. And we'll see if XXX is around in five years, let alone forty. Rob Cohen is a hack director if ever there was one. And besides, if your sole reason for being is to counter-program Bond, then I doubt there's anything of real value to this movie.

  • July 27, 2002, 11:39 a.m. CST

    "the fantastic stunts Rob Cohen has conceived"?

    by zappaman

    Rob Cohen didn't conceive any of those stunts, jackass! Ever hear of a writer? That's what writers do-they come up with cool ideas and stunts and put them in a script. Rob Cohen can't even direct a stunt much less come up with one. Give all the credit to the writer, the stuntmen and the second-unit director. Why does these guys always get shafted????

  • July 27, 2002, 12:01 p.m. CST

    "Sam Jackson gives his character certain death . . ."

    by mascan

    Somebody get this guy a spell-checker. Or a dictionary. Or a fuckin' English lesson. Possibly the worst-written review ever.

  • July 27, 2002, 12:10 p.m. CST

    Lazarus Long: Well said...

    by Double-Helix

    I don't know why I bother reading these talkbacks. The format is beyond terrible. It's unnecessarily unorganized. And I haven't even "gotten" to the intelligence of the average talkbacker, but thankfully... that was a good read. I'd like a major newspaper to dig up a little dirt on "Diesel's" background (Yikes, I'm sounding like a Hard Copy/ET freak) I'm not into hollywood gossip, but if opening Vin's Closet could ensure that we don't come across personas like this in the future... then I'm all for it. PS - What the hell would your friends and family think?!? Talk about a sell-out.

  • July 27, 2002, 12:42 p.m. CST

    PLANT!!! OR... How I Learned To Stop Caring And Love The "Bombs"

    by jollydwarf

    You know, I'm not going to predict how shitty I think this film is going to be here, because it would only dilute my point. The point is, that I've seen reviews like that before. Not even here. But between the formulaic approach, the quotation marks, and making sure to touch on all the 'key points' that might be concerns, this critique reads like the work of some studio lackey. "Make sure not to write it too well, son!" "Sure thing, Mr. Executive!" These kind of "reviews" can be found everywhere, like ebworld.com for any new videogame. "If you're looking for that 'one game to keep you up at nights', then 'Britney's Dance Beat' will be a 'Slave 4 U'. You may have thought that U knew Britney, but you have no idea! After playing the five challenging levels, she will certainly be your 'Final Fantasy'!" That kind of thing. But hey,who am I to think that this post'll be a deterence? Some of you hear Saliva, and it's a Pavlovian reaction of Neaderthal, wigger-trailer slobbering. Which makes the band's name fitting, I guess. "C'mon, lighten up J-Dwarf! And I don't mean in the loafers! Haw-haw! Who do you want in your xXx film? Michael Stipe? RuPaul? Har-dee-har!"

  • July 27, 2002, 12:54 p.m. CST

    I can't wait for the first headline that reads "XXX = ZZZ"

    by Bill Carson

    You know what the basic problem is with movies like this, with a premise of a "regular guy who doesn't want to get involved in all the spy stuff"? When was the last time you met a "regular" guy who didn't CREAM HIS DOCKERS at the thought of getting involved in spy stuff??? Regular guys spend half their lives wishing they were secret agents instead of sitting in a cubicle printing out reports. I want to see a movie where the government approaches a "regular guy" about doing a high-risk mission for them, and the guy says, "Let me get this straight...you want me to fly to exotic locations around the globe, drive million dollar sports cars outfitted with high-tech gadgets, boff gorgeous half-naked babes, and legally kill or maim about 300 bad guys? FUCK YEAH, SIGN ME UP!!!!!" Where's that movie, huh? Huh? What's up with that?????

  • July 27, 2002, 2:06 p.m. CST

    The "absolute" "worst" review "ever" written

    by RickKane

    Why, Moriarity, why did you post this shit? Please everyone, stop feeding the "plants."

  • Plants don't spend *that* much time discussing geek minutiae in the chat room. He's a good guy, and, like him, I'm unashamedly looking forward to the film that's going to deliver Vin's hotly coveted $30 million payday, speech impediment and all.

  • July 27, 2002, 2:32 p.m. CST

    Vin Diesel's real name...

    by Aquafresh

    is Ofer Schwiekie. Just kidding, it's Mark Vincent. I would assume that means he's Italian. I agree with the poater above who said if he's the hero of a new generation, we truly are fucked. That guy projects nothing but jarheaded jock-ish idiocy.

  • July 27, 2002, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Sigh...

    by Theta

    Okay, somebody pointed out his real name is supposedly Mark Vincent, which he won't confirm. He DID come up with the Vin Diesel moniker himself, though, it's what he called himself when he was a bouncer. I have no plans to see this movie and I think Diesel is over-hyped and probably really IS the new Seagal, somebody idolized by rednecks who makes lots of crappy action flicks. He will go away on his own. We don't need to be so bitchy about it, just go and see "Signs" again the weekend it comes out in protest.

  • July 27, 2002, 2:56 p.m. CST

    Abyss: yep, Seagal would kick VD's ass

    by rizla

    I realise now that comparing Diesel to Seagal was an insult to the great man. Vin isn't fit to lick the sweat of Seagal's scrotum and if he tried he'd probably wind up with that snowboard rammed half-way up his rectum.

  • July 27, 2002, 3 p.m. CST

    Martin Csokas...

    by Praetor

    Csokas played the part of Celeborn ( Galadriels companion ) in FOTR.

  • July 27, 2002, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Boy it sure don't take much to get you basement movie critic

    by jesterwebb

    Now granted what few of you that have girlfriends are probably ticked off that she along with who knows how many other women gush and go googoo eyed over Vin. But try to at least make your jealosy of the guy a little less obvious. Maybe if you spent more time working on yourselves and less time brooding over how George Lucas ruined your childhood you may find yourself becoming more of an attractive package to a potential mate.

  • July 27, 2002, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Vin Diesel, an icon for the ghetto's mentally handicapped!

    by jondean

    Vin Diesel, an icon for ghetto's mentally handicapped. Fast and the Furious, Pitch Black were the stupidest movies I've ever seen and I have no doubt this one will top them all. And Vin Diesel sucked ass in Saving Private Ryan. I'm sure Spielberg killed his character soon after realizing his mistake in casting him. Vin Diesel, an icon for the ghetto's mentally handicapped!

  • July 27, 2002, 3:44 p.m. CST

    So what you're saying, jondean...

    by DiscoGodfather

    ...is that Vin Diesel is an icon for the ghetto's mentally handicapped? Because you really didn't make that too clear. Mentioning it in the subject and then twice in the body of the message really isn't quite enough to drive that point home. How's that working out for you, anyway? Being clever?

  • July 27, 2002, 3:45 p.m. CST

    So what you're saying, jondean...

    by DiscoGodfather

    ...is that Vin Diesel is an icon for the ghetto's mentally handicapped? Because you really didn't make that too clear. Mentioning it in the subject and then twice in the body of the message really isn't quite enough to drive that point home. How's that working out for you, anyway? Being clever?

  • July 27, 2002, 3:46 p.m. CST

    OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN!!!

    by Zefram Mann

    Somebody... please... fucking kill me now. Anything to get that image out of my head. IT'S NOT RIGHT!!! What the FUCK is the deal with the Harry animation this week?!?! I DON'T NEED TO SEE WHAT HE AND MORIARTY DO IN THEIR SPARE FUCKING TIME!!! Is this the footage that the fucking studios have been using to blackmail Harry into writing good reviews for every piece of shit they produce?!?! GAH!!!

  • July 27, 2002, 4:27 p.m. CST

    I don't want to like Vin Diesel

    by JonQuixote

    I think the intellectually stagnant counterculture movement where fully grown men have little ambition other than to watch WWE and play video games is pathetic. A shitty movie like THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS feeds mental junkfood to the masses, and since Diesel has become an icon of this type of pablum, by all rights I should hate him. But I just can't. It pushes the limits of my heterosexuality to say this, but I love watching the man on screen. He just might be the most naturally charismatic actor working today, and oozes wit, charm, and coolness. It pains me to say this, but I'm eagerly awaiting xXx, and consider it to be in my Top 5 hot button summer movies.

  • July 27, 2002, 5:22 p.m. CST

    Hmm...

    by Paco

    I don't see how anyone can like a movie that has countless quarter mile races that all last over a minute. I can run that fast and we are supposed to idolize these cars?

  • July 27, 2002, 6:59 p.m. CST

    What a plant!

    by Osgood Sigerson

    Admitting one's enjoyment of the Fast and the Furious basically nullifies any positive reviews in my book. I have seen it, and it is really low quality, boneheaded stuff. If I wanted to see a 90 minute commercial for Nitrous Oxide Systems, OEM parts and Japanese cars, I'd watch Speedvision at 2am. Triple X is great for its demographic, but I'm not in that demographic. I'll see Signs. And BTW, my girlfriend [yes I do have one] does think Vin Diesel is hot, but she's into bald guys. But her friend says that she's never met Vin Diesel but he looks like he smells like garlic and b.o., and whatever that means it can't be positive. I can't rank on Vin too much though, because, as I think some of you are forgetting, he was the voice of the Iron Giant. And that must count for something. I mean, shouldn't it?

  • July 27, 2002, 7:17 p.m. CST

    I'm not a Plant...

    by -Dr.Strangelove-

    Can't some of you incredibly ignorant no-life haters just accept that this movie is awesome fun ? Is it a crime to like a good, entertaining movie ? I stand by what I said, the movie is great and Diesel just rocks all the way...don't like it, don't like Vin?... Well just don't bitch bout' it, most of you haters haven't even seen it. And well if you saw it, just write a decent, reasonable review , send it to Harry, I'm sure he will publish it if its any good, not some hate filled anti-everything manifesto.

  • July 27, 2002, 7:48 p.m. CST

    Ugh.

    by EliCash

    No positive review on God's green earth could persuade me to see this movie. Not under any circumstances. That is how I feel.

  • July 27, 2002, 8:03 p.m. CST

    I Love It, If We Criticize The "Critic"...

    by Rebeck

    We're "haters". Oooooh. Strangelove, if you hadn't made such presumptuous statements that sound like studio hype and trashed the longest-running series in film history, maybe you wouldn't be taking such heat. My point is shut the fuck up with the comparisons: if it's a good movie it will have to stand on its own two feet.

  • July 27, 2002, 9:35 p.m. CST

    vin diesel

    by RustyJames

    or as I call him, the milado with bravado

  • July 27, 2002, 9:43 p.m. CST

    I agree!

    by Sofa King

    We really are screwed if Vin Diesle is the hero of the next generation! I hope they will come out with a new movie soon, one with a REAL hero! A hero who spends his time bashing movies he hasn't seen yet because he thinks it will make him cool in the eyes of a bunch of geeks who themselves bash everything in sight to make themselves look cool! I hope this new hero will say things like "What a plant!", or maybe "go fuck yourself you star fucking fuck" or- OH!- "Segal sucks SHit!!"

  • July 27, 2002, 11:32 p.m. CST

    A FAKE PLASTIC PLANT

    by silent_light

    why post this CRAP, post a real review, I HATE this manipulative shit

  • July 27, 2002, 11:33 p.m. CST

    Vin will be hated by the Nose picking Rednecks when they..

    by JUSTICE41

    Find out the guys half black. Yes ladies and germs,Vin's half black half Italian.I think he is gay, sounds gay in all the interviews i've seen him in. That plus his love of the stage. I saw that same show about the small time movie makers quest to the sundance festival. PI looked really wierd but interesting. Vin's self made and silly story about his day to day life didn't get him into Hollywood it was his ability to smooze the hollywood types. The other kids failed miserably. Ebert was in it as well. I think it was on PBS, a show called EGGs or something similiar

  • July 28, 2002, 12:38 a.m. CST

    Come on

    by CropDusterXtreme

    This is a movie about an extreme sports star who is hired to be a secret agent. Now, I do suspend my disbelief when seeing movies, but come on! At lease just make him a "rogue" agent who actually trained at an academy or something.

  • July 28, 2002, 12:41 a.m. CST

    If JEBUSS says so it MUST be True!!!

    by Jebuss

    I Have NOT seen XXX (The movie) But I know for a Damn FACT The movie SUCKS, Let me Tell you Why. Vin DESIL and His Half Black, Half Mexican, Half Philipino, Half ANGLO SAXAN Half Assed Son of a CIRCUS WHORE Sucks about on Half the amount of COCK as the fucking Queen of a Director. I Don't even know his Name! Cause he's a Fucking Loser Too! I even Fucking Forgot why else I know this movie SUCKS.

  • July 28, 2002, 1:35 a.m. CST

    Just Got Done Watching "The Best of Mike Myers" on SNL OR... Pop

    by jollydwarf

    You know how the Chris Farley "Best of" ends with Adam Sandler singing a lullaby to him, and you almost get choked up because of the added meaning? Okay, maybe you don't. But the Mike Myers edition ends with "Dieter's Dream" and I was almost in tears from that. Tears of 90% laughter, 10% sentimentality. MIKE, EITHER MAKE THE DIETER FILM, OR WORK HIM INTO AP4!!!! He is truly your definitive creation! LED ZEPPELIN ANALOGY!! Austin Powers:Sprockets as "Stairway To Heaven":"Kashmir". With a "Sprockets" film, the possibilities are truly endless. And then some. But anyway...I HAD THIS EPIPHANY TONIGHT. Don't ask how. But it is apparent to me that "The Fast and the Furious" IS "THE MATRIX" FOR EVERYONE WHO ISN'T A HUGE FAN OF "THE MATRIX". It's people who are too "normal" to like 21st century Eastern philsophy compressed into a virtual reality context. It's for the mooks, the 'Greek' (college context) crowd, the 'beautiful people', the Miller Lite commercial crowd, the guys who think that they can actually find the "Maxim" magazine world, etc. Essentially everyone outside this site. Don't get me wrong, SOMEONE CAN ENJOY BOTH FILMS. But A LOT OF people seem to WORSHIP "Furious". Hence Grand Theft Auto 3, hence "xXx", hence Limp Bizkit and that shitty show coming to Fox this fall. Sure, it's more likely that any random person daydreams about fucking shit up in a sports car as opposed to a Jedi Starfighter or Slave 1. But "Vin" seems to be the guy that is willing to be the videogame character filmed from the over-the-shoulder perspective. So therefore guys can watch these films from a "Being Vin Diesel" angle. And the girls, well, they're gonna get wet for whoever they're gonna get wet for. I give up there. But it'll be interesting to see when "Furious 2" is released WITHOUT "Diesel". Methinks bad nu-metal soundtracks and pretty, crashing cars equals 100-150 mil. No matter what. So where's that Bizarro Dimension AICN where JuffNumeroUno and ToddThaBizzod and AlphaMale69 BudLightBoy are bitching about that Jason Lee getting all the good roles and being such a scrawny, ex-skater smartass? Anybody got directions? Hunh?

  • July 28, 2002, 1:53 a.m. CST

    Today's "action stars"......

    by Doom II

    ....are nothing but smoke & mirrors. Hollywood creations. What has Vin Unleaded ever done that qualifies him as a man's man? He was a bouncer? Ok, so he made 8.00 an hour to beat up drunk frat boys...what else? Steve McQueen did most of his movie stunts, including some crazy car and motorcycle stunts. Lee Marvin was in the Marine Corps during World War 2 and saw heavy combat. Today's action stars lack the guts to do anything off screen that warrants real admiration. Nick Nolte was an ex-football player. Chuck Norris was undefeatable in the 70's karate circuit. Steven Seagal is a real 5th don Akido master. He had the first American run Akido Dojo in Japan and faced a lot of prejudice from the community. He also served in Vietnam and worked as a CIA operative (rumor has it). He may be out of shape and lame now, but at least he's really DONE something in his life to make you say.....fuck. That dude's tough. You get my point. And I too have heard that Diesel smakes man-pole.

  • July 28, 2002, 1:55 a.m. CST

    Just watched Boiler Room...

    by Heywood Jablowme

    and I realized Vin Diesel sucks ass as an actor. This guy is a fucking joke and represents all athe is evil in Hollywood. When will you fanboys realize that this is the pre-fabricated cut-out hero that they shove down your throat through simple-minded marketing. Fuck you if you buy into this bullshit. I cast my vote behind Johnny Teabag who does not lower himself to such absurd levels. If you like Vin Diesel or Bruce Campbell, then you suck. You suck cock, and you love it.

  • July 28, 2002, 2:02 a.m. CST

    Vin "I done got to drive fast real quick good" Diesel

    by BigTed

    JonQuixote and that guy who wrote the post about Mike Myers doing Sprockets, I have to say that your comparison of Vin Diesel to a videogame character really smacks of ignorance. Almost any videogame character in a decent game is closer to a real life, actually sentient being than Vin "When do I get to blow shit up" Diesel. And your connection of watching wrestling to being someone who plays videogames was also not appreciated JonQuixote, especially since you wound up your post expressing an unhealthy interest in actually paying to see any part of XXX. Grand Theft Auto 3, btw, may have also been about fast cars, explosions, and general mayhem, but I didn't see half the cast of The Sopranos, Resevoir Dogs and the like in The Fast and the Furious. Probably because either A. The game is far worthier of respect than a film about quarter mile racing that may as well be a slideshow of purty "cars that done go fast" pictures it is so absurdly edited or B. I didn't see most of TFATF because I was having stupidity overload seizures in the cinema bathroom.

  • July 28, 2002, 3:33 a.m. CST

    poop

    by HKaos

    forget about how diesel could get in this wack ass script. how the hell did samuek L jackson get suckered into this shit? thats the real travesty.

  • July 28, 2002, 3:39 a.m. CST

    Hmm

    by alpha

    All I know about Vin is that he was a genuinely nice guy to the people he worked with on Pitch Black which is a million steps up the line of behaviour when compared with a complete @$$hole like Cruise who treats people like crap. I dont think hes a great actor but he does have that Charles Bronson style brooding prescence thing down pat and if nothing else that works well in action films. I read the review and it sounds like its a big flashy popcorn flick which is fine if thats what you want from two hours (sometimes we just want to put the brain into nuetral and let go).

  • July 28, 2002, 3:39 a.m. CST

    Hmm

    by alpha

    All I know about Vin is that he was a genuinely nice guy to the people he worked with on Pitch Black which is a million steps up the line of behaviour when compared with a complete @$$hole like Cruise who treats people like crap. I dont think hes a great actor but he does have that Charles Bronson style brooding prescence thing down pat and if nothing else that works well in action films. I read the review and it sounds like its a big flashy popcorn flick which is fine if thats what you want from two hours (sometimes we just want to put the brain into nuetral and let go).

  • July 28, 2002, 4:19 a.m. CST

    Save Bond!

    by Merkin Muffley

    Save the Bond franchise, make all future Bond movies "period pieces" set in the 1960's. That's where he belongs. +++Diesel is hardly the end of cinema. XXX is clearly a big dumb summer movie, I'm all for a little bit of that. At least it doesn't APPEAR to be trying to sell anything yet - which is a major step in the right direction. Maybe there's a Sprint Store and a BK in SLJackson's HQ, though. (Sad when the best thing you can say about a movie is that it doesn't appear to be tatooed with product placement, but so it goes.)

  • July 28, 2002, 5:02 a.m. CST

    vin.... oh vin

    by poogthrasher

    Take it for what it's worth: I have on good authority that Vin Diesel is gay. Now, I don't care one way or the other, but I find it amusing that he's a burgeoning star in the thinly-veiled, homo-erotic genre of action movies. Millions of young boys are about to emulate his every move, and at the same time be attracted to him without even realizing it. Ah well, it's what made Harrison Ford a star. (do they wanna "be him" or "do him"???)

  • July 28, 2002, 5:48 a.m. CST

    Now it all makes sense...

    by Lazarus Long

    So Vin Diesel is gay, huh? I realize now that he only chose his name to help his career along. He's only using Hollywood to further his fantasy career in gay porn. And of course, in gay porn, you couldn't choose a better name than "Vin Diesel". I mean, in regular movies it sounds contrived and ridiculous, but in porn it's par for the (inter)course. I don't give a shit if he's gay either, but he still sucks. There are plenty of GOOD gay actors that deserve more attention than this meathead with a speech impediment, like Rupert FUCKING Everett, who is cooler than 99% of straight Hollywood, and would make a better James Bond than the snore-inducing Pierce Brosnan, who showed up 10 years too late to play the role. Or Nathan Lane, who many of you are sick of but is still a great comedian. Or Kevin Spacey. Oh shit, never mind.

  • July 28, 2002, 8:47 a.m. CST

    THIS JUST IN: vin diesel's arch-enemy in 'xxx2: triple-c

    by tommy5tone

    eddie deezen. ya geddit? diesel vs deezen! ah, fuck you, man - that's comedy gold right there.

  • July 28, 2002, 9:34 a.m. CST

    this movie will lick balls and suck ass you ass sucking ball-lic

    by I_AM_A_WOOKIE

    actually, im not really that bothered, that title was sarcasm. i dont really have anything to moan about with the movie news, so im gonna complain about the review, that was abysmal, you spelling was poor, grammar was worse, but the general construction of the piece was stupid, you analyse the subject and interpret it, denotation and connotation, tell us why something is whatever you say it is, and then tell us how, WHO,WHAT,WHERE,WHEN,WHY,HOW? see?alsto, the composition was lacking a bit there, start off with an introduction, then split it into different subjects, i.e.technically, actors/characters, artistically, etc. Now, rewrite it and have it on my desk by monday morning, with the 1000 linessaying: I PROMISE NOT TO WRITE A BAD REVIEW ABOUT A FILM, AND I WILL PUT MORE THOUGHT INTO IT AND NOT WRITE IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER I HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE WHEN I AM ALL EXITED.

  • July 28, 2002, 10:04 a.m. CST

    Vins real name and race

    by Krigan

    His name is Mark Vincent & he is 1/2 black 1/2 italian. That was written in the latest EW. From looking at him though I would assume the black parent was'nt 100% black either though. He is also a classically trained actor his step father is a theatre teacher who encouraged him early on. Vin even directed a short film called Multi-Facial costing himself $3,000 with himself in the lead playing an actor having trouble getting work because of his ethnicity so he decides to pretend to be whatever race the role calls for. I think most of you should give vin a little more credit, he may not be the greatest actor of all time but he has worked hard and is certainly more fun to watch than the average tough guy of the week Hollywood churns out.

  • "Whatcha doin' wit them freaks there, domehead?"

  • July 28, 2002, 10:31 a.m. CST

    FF

    by Damer1

    The Fast and the Furious might be the worst movie that I've seen in the last 5 years. I'll pass on this dog. Vin should stick to doing the voice of the Iron Giant.

  • July 28, 2002, 11:05 a.m. CST

    Read Your Camus!

    by Anton_Sirius

    Just because Vin shtupped some producers to get his big Hollywood break doesn't necessarily mean he's *gay*. What, next you'll be telling me Richard Gere 'is' gay just because he had a gerbil shoved up his butt... I'd just like to give some mad props to the TBer up there who acknowledged that Diesel was a bouncer, but then said he never did anything to prove he was a tough guy, and then regurgitated that CIA crap Segal spews whenever he's feeling particularly insecure about the size of his pee-pee. That's just some special logic right there. For the record- loved Pitch Black, hated Fast & Furry (but then it had Paul Walker in it- now THAT guy deserves some AICN venom spat his way), and will see XXX mainly to support Asia's first big Hollywood film. But it could end up being fun.

  • July 28, 2002, 11:45 a.m. CST

    nice one, jollydwarf!

    by SHIVA

    He has a point, gringos. Maybe if we take a step outta this movie-mad world of ours, we might see that a lot of people go to the theatre for the kind of gratification that jd talks about. So, maybe it's all of us who're out of touch with reality. And did AOTC take you back to your second childhood or what? (muahahahahaha). Opening visuals, the clone planet sequences and the whole Obi Wan as Philip Marlowe bit were nice. The yoda scene gave away the magic/mystique imho. Always better not to show too much. I mean would'nt it have been better to leave the yoda-kicking-ass deal to our imagination? But a lot of it( dialogue, the factory sequence, mace windu yelling 'this party's over', the mechanical maelstorm of the last 20 mins etc etc) sucked harder than Jenna Jameson and Tera Patrick at my house! It made The Phantom Menace look better by comparison. At least it had a stately grace (some would say funereal) and it never showed the desperation that Lucas showed with those last 20 minutes. Sorry to go off on an SW tangent. Totally wrong. But can't help myself. I hope The Two Towers will provide more satisfaction to fantasy fans. LOTR was ok, but it wasn't The Frighteners or Braindead level good. And nowhere near Heavenly Creatures. Let's see how long Jackson can restrict his creative genius within the straitjacket of big budget Hollwood cinema.

  • July 28, 2002, 12:16 p.m. CST

    I agree 100% with timmer

    by jonzee86

    C'mon, did anyone seriously like the fast and the furious, other than my best friends little 11 year old brother? Sorry but any movie that is gauged with the fast and the furious for "watchitude" is instantly doomed. My condolences to XXX.

  • July 28, 2002, 12:16 p.m. CST

    Hey BUCKO, the COMMA GOES BEFORE THE QUOTATION MARK

    by aceattorney

    Go back to grade school.

  • July 28, 2002, 12:36 p.m. CST

    Well, I Was Drunk Last Night OR... BigTed

    by jollydwarf

    No, you're right. GTA3 should not be penalized for the majority of the crowd who buys it. It is simply one of the greatest games of all time and I applaud games that help deconstruct the stigma that gamers are losers and ONLY gamers would play games outside of Madden Fill-In-The-Year. It's just that I can't believe that the game is successfully strictly on its quality-related merits. Metal Gear Solid 2 and Final Fantasy X came out within three months of that, and they aren't still selling like DVD-format hotcakes today. It's what I call the "Homer Effect". The Simpsons is the greatest primetime show ever, and you can get as much out of it as you want, via repeated viewings and paying attention to myriad topical references, but the reason that the show is still on is Homer. EVERYONE GETS HOMER. Even if some of them don't get that the joke's on them. Oh well, this is the Vin-Bashing Hour here, so sorry to go all tangential and shit. It's just tough for a lot of us to get behind him as an action star, even if he wants us to. (Snicker) No, really, where did the gay info come from? I'd never heard that. As a matter of fact, when she was on Stern, Michelle Rodriguez seemed to all-but-admit that she banged him. Unless she was just covering for him. That would indeed be great acting on her part, because I must've heard that admission-of-guilt evasiveness in actresses voices at least a thousand times on his show. And it would be a shame to think that that guy on his way to DilbertLand that got into a fender bender from whacking it to a starlet-on-starlet scenario was being fed false imagery. Damn. I mean, not me, but damn.

  • July 28, 2002, 1:55 p.m. CST

    " Vin even directed a short film called Multi-Facial"

    by Lazarus Long

    I'm laughing too hard to comment on this much further. I guess that's all the evidence we need, huh?

  • July 28, 2002, 2:05 p.m. CST

    I'm so completely uninterested in the critical opinions ...

    by mojohand

    of anyone who thought 'The Fast and The Furious' was anything other than a complete piece of crap.

  • July 28, 2002, 2:30 p.m. CST

    I'll Bet Harry Likes This More Than "Minority Report" OR...

    by jollydwarf

    One last thing on this non-event. I just realized that the studios are putting together a treatment of a buddy-action-comedy-thriller-romance where Freddy Priss and Vin 'team up' (how "romance" is defined depends on what posts you believe in this TalkBack). It'll be the 'tentpole' (heh) film of whatever season its released. With Fred Durst and Kid Rock in for azz-kickin' 'n' "komic" relief. And Allen Iverson to give it some "flava". And starlets with no standards (Sarah Michelle being a given) being objectified beyond even OUR belief in various fetish outfits. But the purpose of this project is twofold. First and foremost to make money and once and for all obliterate any remaining standards in the under-30 crowd. Secondly, it will serve to cause fanboys to commit mass self-eradication. As opposed to self-gratification. The loathing we feel for each of them separately cannot begin to equal the hatred that their combined presence will generate. But we have become the bane of The Industry (the geeks' version of The Man), and they would happily sacrifice or meager ticket sales to once and for all be rid of us, so that we might not compromise the 'buzz' on upcoming theatrical inanities. Enjoy your clones, towers, and agents, boys. For our time grows perilously short.

  • July 28, 2002, 2:40 p.m. CST

    Isn't Prince half-black half-italian?

    by chiknfriedelfsac

    Yeah i see the resemblance between him and Vin. They could be brothers!! Prince has a really deep (speaking) voice too!! Coincidence? I don't believe Vin Diesel is half black. Not unless his black parent naturally looked like Michael Jackson does now. More like half-italian half-amoeba

  • July 28, 2002, 3:01 p.m. CST

    so you're not a plant strangelove

    by kojiro

    But you really should forgive the confusion, because (paraphrasing the great Dave Chappelle) you are wearing a plant's uniform.

  • July 28, 2002, 3:47 p.m. CST

    Vin's #1

    by JadaBad

    I'm Glad Vin's finally getting some recognition. He's a real actor, not just a pretty boy. XXX is going to be off the hook. I'm definitely going to see it. As to everyone who thinks Vin Diesel is a bad actor, don't quit your day job to become a film critic. He has a ton of fansites and fanclubs, so somebody must love him. He's got brawn and brains, not to mention pure talent. That's hard to find among celebrities today.

  • July 28, 2002, 4:17 p.m. CST

    oh yeah

    by JadaBad

    You people should really check out a Vin bio. You might learn a few things. As for the Prince comparison are you High? That was just stupid.Maybe you need glasses, and a hearing aid. You guys are lucky that most of the people posting here are Vin haters,(unlike me) otherwise you'd be in for a real mouthful. I think I'm gonna post a message on my yahoo group with a link to this board. Then maybe they'll fill you in on Vin even more then me. Vin Diesel spent a large part of his life strungling to become an actor and all you people can do is rag on him. You need to respect him. He had to work hard to get to where he is today. Unlike a lot of celebrities. You guys need to go over and post at rotten tomatoes those people have no taste as well. Also Vin doesn't mumble. He has an amazing voice that he backs with emotion.He doesn't just let the lines run out of his mouth. Vin's nothing like Arnold Swartzennegar. He's not just an action star. Remember he did boiler room and multi facial, and I didn't see Arnold making a short film to get into acting. No he just used his size to get him his parts. Another thing who cares what his name is. I actually think his name is cool. Sort of Mysterious. Also, He's not hiding his background because he's ashamed of it. He hides his background so he can play all types of characters.So he doesn't get characterized as one race. I hope Vin Diesel DOES become a household name. He deserves some recognition for once. Just because he has muscles doesn't make him all brawn and no brain. He actually went to college. He actually paved his own way into the movie bussiness. He not gay either. He dated Summer Altice and Michelle Rodriguez for awhile. And I love this guys film review. You know what I give up on you people. Any Vin lovers feel free to e-mail me. I'm a huge vin fan. I own a site and fangroup. To the rest of the people here hating, if you don't like action films just say so. Don't go around dissing the best action flicks. Go over to the romance department where you belong. Oh yeah, I don't hate Arnold Swartzennegar, it's just insulting for Vin to be compared to him.

  • July 28, 2002, 5:32 p.m. CST

    Hi! Can we PLEASE lose the FUDGE-PACKIN', BOOTY-BUSTIN',

    by Sith Lord Sauron

    Thanks!

  • July 28, 2002, 6:17 p.m. CST

    .....reply

    by JadaBad

    I don't know where your coming from when you say "he always plays a cocky....." because he plays different types of characters. From a stock broker to a convict to a soldier. As for the whole superman thing it's entirely overplayed, the classics shouldn't be copied. Nobody wants to watch the same movie with different characters. Sometimes you need a change. Also the whole thing about someone who wants to do the right thing but is held back, that is the storyline of a ton of flicks. It's gettin old real fast. Another thing, I don't know why you wouldn't root for Vin's character in TFATF. I mean personally I think he did a terrific job of bringing Dominics character to life. I especially enjoyed how he treated Jesse like a son, then when he got upset over Jesse's death, it was like you were there with him.I felt his emotions. Most action movies don't get you that into the movie, and most don't include main characters with disabilities.

  • July 28, 2002, 6:25 p.m. CST

    DIESELING

    by TomVee

    If Vin is half-black, or even a quarter or one-eighth black, then he can be a hero for this new millenium, when overt the next 20 or so years more than half of this country will be something other than white Anglo-Saxon. And then the mulatto look will rule. (I will be mercifully in my grave by the time this happens.) Based on what I have seen of him, he can act if he wants to. It probably depends on who's directing. This is true with many actors. He certainly cannot be any worse than Seagal. He has done good movies (PB and RYAN) and at least one bad one (F&F). So has every leading man since eternity. Let's see where is he in three years. Will he be the next Stallone, who is still making "A" pictures, or the next Van Damme,who has been relegated to cable movies?

  • July 28, 2002, 7:30 p.m. CST

    Those damn Bond comparisions again.

    by laguna_loire

    As someone said thankfully we won't be seeing Bond getting all jiggy or whatever the bloody crap that term is to Limp Bizkit or Linkin Park, and the action will always be top-notch!! Look, I'd love to see XXX, but before you all go on one about how old and dated Bond is, compare the facts. If Bond didn't exist, XXX wouldn't be here trying to whup its ass, heck , even Austin Powers would be different. Face it, XXX can better but in its 'oh yeah look at me' face its still a take on a genre thats been here for some time. Oh, and lastly, before I hear anymore slagging of the new Bond movie, I believe MGM, Fox and co. possibly have the most explosive instalment in Bond history coming-up. Don't believe me? Go to http://www.commanderbond.net and read the facts!! Bond isn't dead, but in the new movie he's certainly vulnerable!! Oh, one last word to Vin and co - if you REALLY have to whup Bond in this film, don't try to repeat Connery's words without at least trying to to say them with a little conviction instead of dumb "cool"-mtv style: 'The things I have to do for my country' -If one intends to kick ass, then its best to attmept it in a true style and not to lampoon!! I will see XXX tho', if only to catch-on the action!!

  • July 28, 2002, 8:01 p.m. CST

    vin worked hard... fuckin a

    by BloodandPopcorn

    Let me tell you something really important about life. It doesn't matter how hard you try, if you suck at what you do, it doesn't fucking matter. Vin is an excellent example. Sure seems to have wanted to be an actor, but his presence in SPR detracted from the film, F&TF would have sucked even without him, but he was still one of hte worst parts of it. The others being its 'cool' moments, that were actually gay, uninspired, and the new 'cheap' action that America seems to love. Is Vin the new Bond? Actually, probably. Why? Because this generation of teens are almost all completely worthless (much like xXx, which I sadly was forced to sit through with my, 13-year-old, nephew) It may do well, may even be regarded as a 'smash hit'. But if it's still around in 10 years, I will kill myself. I definitly don't want to be around in a society that takes a piece of shit movie like this as a 'classic' over films like Bond, most of which actually have substance and some non-superficial charm to them! Thank god I'll be out of this country soon. Asano Tadanobu (Kakihara from Ichi the Killer, an "action" film with far more flair, originiality, and disturbing charm than any american action film in years) is the closest thing to the future of the action genre we have. The Rock? Vin Diesel? JESUS! At least Schwarzennager showed emotion, even if it was usually the wrong one!

  • July 28, 2002, 8:28 p.m. CST

    Vin Diesel: tool of corporate Hollywood

    by Super Mendez

    This guy is a fucking ass-clown. A joke. And you losers that drone on and on about his greatness seriously need to reexamine your status as heterosexuals. I want to give a shout out to my number one negro J-Teabag who's out there keeping it real. He knows the truth about Vin Diesel and his preference for man-flesh. This movie looks so fucking bad that fucking Travolta has the right to make fun of it. And another thing, Ted Demme dies from cocaine and we can't get Bruce Campbell some crack? Come on Ash, hit that pipe and get these fanboys to quit casting you in every fucking flick that comes along. Bruce Campbell in Stop or My Mom Will Shoot 2, get a life you fucking dorks.

  • July 28, 2002, 9:05 p.m. CST

    Overreaction? OR... We'll See

    by jollydwarf

    Wow, if nothing else, this guy sure is drawing some heat away from Osama, Saddam, and George Steinbrenner. Impressive. I wouldn't write off the future of action films JUST YET, though. Let's see how next year's Matrix films, "X2", "Daredevil", "The Hulk", and "T3" do. If they maintain a modicum of integrity and intelligence, then I say ignore these glorified videogame cutscene montages. The scum and villianry of the Earth need to be entertained too, I guess. Just so long as we get our ten or so films every year. I mean America IS in a tailspin. There's no two ways about that. But it shouldn't affect US too much in the foreseable future. And there are plenty of bigger and more frightening reasons to not have kids or fear for the under 12 crowd out there than the state of film. Yes, "xXx" is a sign o' the times, but it can get a LOT worse. So enjoy the end days of respectable escapism while they last.

  • July 28, 2002, 11:31 p.m. CST

    Is It Just Me...

    by Anton_Sirius

    ...or would Eminen make an awesome Bond villain? Goddess knows he couldn't be any worse than Walken was.

  • July 28, 2002, 11:52 p.m. CST

    Vin is gonna be asked to play Destro in the G.I.Joe movie. I kn

    by hank_scorpio

    Oh, and enough with the slagging off Bond. I'm sure this movie is gonna be terriffic summer entertainment but it's just unfair to say it's better than anything Bond can do before we've even seen his latest. I'm just hoping that this'll wet people's appetite for Die Another Day (and that it'll rock the house of course).

  • July 29, 2002, 12:39 a.m. CST

    XXX is better than AOTC, and will probably do better box office

    by You Are Banned

    It's gonna make huge bank, baby! I know it will get a boost from all you self-loathing repressed homosexuals who will go see it and secretly drool all over yourselves every time Vin is on screen.

  • July 29, 2002, 3:11 a.m. CST

    okay...

    by spookyanders

    ...so it is apparent that no one, the the exception of this reviewer is a Diesel fan, fine. Let's keep in mind that the most depth any of his characters has had is that he wanted to save a little girl because she reminded him of his niece. Let us accept something. Vin diesel cannot act, he can't, he was not born with this talent. But what he does have is "That thing", that thing that you cannot describe, you want to watch him, he is inherentley watchable. I do have "that thing" I have looked for it, asked around, tried to create it, I do not have it, most of us do not. he does. Do not begrudge him. I did not go to see TFATF, why? I don't like cars all that much, and I drive the speed limit, doesn't do anything for me. I am sure that it was very pretty, but I knew that the three leads could not act their way out of a paper bag, and only Vin had "That thing", (paul walker,a poor man's Freddie Prinze, M. Rodriquez, you have so much talent--in your hair). i will go see XXX for no apparent reason other than to just be dumb for 90 minutes, and yes, i may pay for a ticket to Signs and sneak in to this one. Sam jackson (also in possesion of "That Thing") looks very fun in this, and I really am a sucker for the "i want all that...in here." Line, what fun! I like things that go boom, I like scantley clad women, and I like loud music, so I'll buy my damn popcorn and do exactly what this plant was sent to do, but I'm paying for signs damn it.

  • July 29, 2002, 3:16 a.m. CST

    one more thing

    by spookyanders

    how did this guy avoid being a porn star. First of all, his name Vin Diesel! Second: Body; third: Acting Ability; fouth: he's is a movie called fucking XXX. Imagine it: "XXX staring Vin Diesel, Jenna Jamison, Kobe Tai, Peter North and John Holmes as 'the dead guy'"=box office gold!

  • July 29, 2002, 3:39 a.m. CST

    Very true Jollydwarf

    by BigTed

    It is a slight concern that GTA3 is still selling like crazy, no matter how good it is there's obviously a large chunk of the world community who are just looking for an excuse to kill things, and that kinda ruins the progress it made for games. So yeah, you're right in that there are people who'll just play and watch anything with a vampire and explosion in it (ahh, Futurama, such an underated show), and that shows in how people will actually WATCH FILMS LIKE THIS. And, get this, ACTUALLY ATTEMPT TO COMMENT ON THEIR OPINION DESPITE NOT BEING ABLE TO SPEAK ENGLISH.

  • July 29, 2002, 9:26 a.m. CST

    Bond, Gold Bond

    by Hud

    Eegah, so mumbly torpor passes for "charisma?" Include me out. On the other hand, Diesel was the Iron Giant, grandfathering him into some sort of fan heaven. I also submit that if this is not your granddaddy's Bond, that's too bad. Grandpa's Bond was way cool, and while Asia Argento seems like a nice young lady, she's no Pussy Galore.

  • July 29, 2002, 9:32 a.m. CST

    Dr. Strangelove, I'm from the Studio, and would you mind pos

    by devil0509

  • July 29, 2002, 9:37 a.m. CST

    that being said...

    by devil0509

    I'm amazed at the potshots being taken at my man Vin. The guy owns the screen in every scene he's in. And who cares if he's straight or gay - the man can lead an action flick. People who let an actor's private life get in the way of enjoying a performance are stupid, but they're only cheating themselves. If you let McKellan's sexuality ruin your enjoyment of his awesome performances as Magneto and Gandalf, you have only yourself to blame.

  • July 29, 2002, 10:11 a.m. CST

    Dr Strangelove

    by Vinniesgirl

    Thank God! There IS someone here who isn't a complete moron. Vin Diesel is a fantastic actor, he needs roles that he is able to show his range in....anyone who saw him as Riddick in Pitch Black can attest to it! Can't wait for xXx!! VG

  • July 29, 2002, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Gimme a fucking break

    by WeedyMcSmokey

    Leave it to the physically underwhelming geeks to lash the hate on Vin Diesel's massive shoulders. Its simple really - the action/hero genre is in desperate need of new blood - Segal, Schwartzenegger, Willis, Stallone, et al have all gotten too old, or have moved on to other things - and I for one welcome "the Deez" - better than all these fucking pretty boy actors I'm supposed to believe are tough enough to save the world let alone punch somebody without breaking every bone in their fragile little peticured hands. Who give a shit if he's gay, he's huge and can fit the bill - and he's not without charm, he does hold the screen. Oh, and the Fast and the Furious had the best unintentional comedy of any movie last year - therefore I enjoyed it immensely.

  • July 29, 2002, 12:13 p.m. CST

    action stars

    by fun guy

    wow this is a really lively talkback. vin diesel is so overwith already. the rock will soon lay the smacketh down on vin diesel. rocky is the next vin diesel. sincerely, fun guy

  • July 29, 2002, 12:37 p.m. CST

    Vin and Prinz

    by BigRedCat

    You can't make a comparison between Vin and Freddie Prinze. Freddie can't act like he's got to take a crap even when he has to. For sure Vin ain't no Deniro, but come on Freddie!

  • July 29, 2002, 3:24 p.m. CST

    The Worst

    by Vermifax

    I'm not saying that "The Fast and The Furious" was the WORST film of 2001. I'm merely seaying that out of all the movies I'VE seen in 2001, "The Fast and The Furious" was the absolute worst. "Pearl Harbor" was a close second.

  • July 29, 2002, 3:43 p.m. CST

    Dr Strangelove

    by TheGuy

    LOL... That review was probably the worst piece of writing I've seen in awhile... Such a trashy piece of garbage.. I was sitting there reading it thinking to myself if this guy thinks hes being taken seriously- My opinion is actually that you havent even seen the movie, you didn't go into any specifics at all in your review and everything you wrote could have been taken from watching the trailers... Actually now that I think about it it could be a subtle nod that you're attracted to Vin Diesel with all those "VIN RULES" comments- i just wish ppl wouldnt waste my time with nonsensical reviews like that- WRITE ABOUT THE !@#$@@ CONTENT OF THE MOVIE NEXT TIME

  • July 29, 2002, 4:02 p.m. CST

    You know, with all the claims and counterclaims about Diesel

    by WarDog

    I'm just going to stick to how well he's done playing the characters in the movies I've seen him in. I wish I could see more of his filmsm, because I think he did DAMNED WELL in PB & F&TF. The man glows with charisma on-screen and fairly sweats testosterone. He out-machos Stallone and Schwarzennegger both, and would out-macho Willis if Willis weren't such a damned great actor (and therefore didn't know how to play it cool with genuine feeling and not over-the-top all the time.) But basically I don't care if he's gay or not; I don't care if part of his ancestry is Black or not. He plays heroic anti-heros just as they should be, without the angst-ridden baggage you see hung on so many nowadays. At least he hasn't gotten a swelled head from all the fame heaped on him. He still remembers his humble roots and lean years and doesn't get on a podium and spout crap like that pretentious pretty-boy Tom Cruise. So, if you don't like him, kiddie-winkies, then go off to watch somebody else and stop spreading rumors about Diesel.

  • July 29, 2002, 4:42 p.m. CST

    Wendigofett

    by WeedyMcSmokey

    uh, dude - in your headline "guys" should be the posessive "guy's". You're a regular talkbacker and I'm not shitting on you or anything, you seem like an intelligent person - but people who live in glass houses and all that.

  • July 29, 2002, 5:26 p.m. CST

    Spelling Issues

    by Vinniesgirl

    Dude, you spelled 'whether' wrong.

  • July 29, 2002, 6:22 p.m. CST

    STRANGE DAYS WE LIVE IN

    by TomVee

    The fact that Mr. Diesel is a mulatto and possibly gay should broaden his appeal, don't you think? It seems like half the fucking country is mulatto and there certainly are plenty of gays. I assume everyone goes to the movies. So these traits may very well broaden Mr. Diesel's appeal. All I hear these days is "Diversity!" Of course, this may or may not play in Holly-weird.

  • July 29, 2002, 6:53 p.m. CST

    Vin Diesel has charisma to sell.

    by Tristan_Megistus

    I'm a hetero-bisexual (a hetero-bisexual is defined as a man who is mainly attracted to beautiful women, but who wouldn't say no to an outstandingly handsome man, Johnny Depp in particular) and I have to say that even though Vin Diesel is probably as straight as an arrow, he has a rare charm that I personally find somewhat irrestible. So Vin, if you're interested in a 6 feet 1, 175 pounds, 21 year-old Robbie Williams lookalike (thats ROBBIE Williams, the British pop star), and if you're in Toronto one of these anytime soon...

  • July 29, 2002, 6:55 p.m. CST

    IRRESISTIBLE, not irrestible. Pardon me.

    by Tristan_Megistus

  • July 29, 2002, 6:58 p.m. CST

    "...one of these anytime soon"?!!

    by Tristan_Megistus

    I meant to write "one of these days", and it somehow turned into "anytime soon". Shit, whats wrong with me tonight?

  • July 29, 2002, 8:27 p.m. CST

    All I know is that Fast and the Furious was utter shite!

    by TC-14

    Vin Diesel is overrated - he was ok in Pitch Black and certainly has a presence but he hasn't proved himself as a star yet. This could be ok but i dont hold out too much hope.

  • July 29, 2002, 10:04 p.m. CST

    ICQPimp OR. "I'll Take 'My Favorite VD' for 400, Ale

    by jollydwarf

    Okay, thanks. I'm flattered and flustered all at once. The Johnny-Post-Latelies are really going to expect me to produce in the clutch on a consistent basis, when I'm really a streak shooter here. I try to post ONLY when I have something to post, but sometimes I jump into a talkback because it looks like too much, uh, fun? I could really care less about V.D., but rather what he's becoming an icon for. Like I said a few weeks ago, I would've loved to have seen the "xXx" concept of X-treme espionage with the "Jackass" crew. It would've been a exercise in absurdity, but that's what I'm all about here. It could've been an arrested development (no, don't start humming "Tennessee" in your head!) "Goonies", if you will. Incidentally, last night I did my (THIS IS NOT A PLUG)Quicktime trailer checkup and saw the whipping boy du jour in his new flick, "Knockaround Guys". It's even closer to the GTA3 mentality than this in the Mob sense, and it's got that misguided black humor that was so prevalent in that movie where Jon Favreau is going to marry Cameron Diaz and Christian Slater's in it (snapping my fingers, pounding my head)...shit! What was the name of that? I'll admit, it's eluding me. And I saw it first run, too. Shame, shame. Anyways, it looks more "fanboy friendly", I guess, but he's still uttering inanities before throwing roundhouses in muscle shirts. But then I don't expect him to put on fifty and try to make his own "Copland" anytime soon. See you a couple clicks down the road.

  • July 29, 2002, 11:13 p.m. CST

    I'm really glad...

    by Nozoki

    I have all of you whiny bitches to tell the rest of us what total fucking morons we are for liking a movie that you don't. I enjoy hearing other people's opinions of films, but to call me a dipshit for liking TFATF is like calling me a dipshit for liking Dreamcicles. They're not nutritional in any way, but they taste good on a hot ass motherfucking day like this. And cheesy action flicks are fun to watch when you're not in the mood to immerse your mind in some 4 hour Oscar winning snooze-fest about a retarded guy who invented shaving cream while invisible midgets gave him an enema. Sometimes you just want some sugar, and XXX looks like it will fit the bill quite nicely. So fuck you.

  • July 29, 2002, 11:25 p.m. CST

    "Very Bad Things" That's It OR... How Do I Access My Neurol

    by jollydwarf

    The name of the movie I was trying to think of just randomly popped into my head. How much useless info do we really have trapped in our skulls and how do we free up hard drive space or at least access it on demand? Wait, better to NOT go there for most of us, I think.

  • July 30, 2002, 12:43 a.m. CST

    Don't Make me Laugh...too late

    by Jebuss

    Run that by me again Tristan_Megistus? You're a Hetero-BISEXUAL? Good god you're a FUCKING LUNATIC. You Like the Preety Ladies but you wouldn't hesitate to Stick your Dick up some guys Poop Chute? YOU ARE FUCKING GAY! You are slowly contributing to the Downfall of the human race By trying to IMPREGNATE some guys ASS. Its not the correct way! Quit trying to deny your Disorder you are a Man-fucker, that puts you under the Homo-sexual category.

  • July 30, 2002, 2:03 a.m. CST

    Vin Diesel does PORN -- straight and gay porn both!!!

    by Bregalad_

    Hah-heh-heh!! I knew that would get your attention. ------------------------ Well, now, maybe I shouldn't joke about it. Maybe Vin really SHOULD do some blue movies. He'd be perfect. He's got the rough, testosterone driven attitude; and the perfect acting "elan" for porn. And let's not forget his muscled physique and huge man-tool. Maybe..... just maybe..... Vin could become the new "action star" and the reviewer could be proved right after all -- if Vin pursues a DIRK DIGGLER career change! All the pretty NYC girls and West Hollywood boys would be so happy. Vin, are you listening? It could be VERY LUCRATIVE!

  • July 30, 2002, 10:33 a.m. CST

    Jebuss, whats the weather like up your own ass?

    by Tristan_Megistus

    I cannot believe that there are still bible-beating homophobic morons hanging around on this site. I have a "disorder" for being somewhat attracted to exceptionnally good-looking guys as well as pretty girls?!! You remind me of the father from "American Beauty", the ultra-conservative military prick who is revealed to be a repressed homosexual at the end of the movie.

  • July 30, 2002, 12:05 p.m. CST

    Freddie Prinze, Jr. ?

    by Swifty Slowpoker

    Didn't some magazine have Vin Diesel romantically linked with Freddie Prinze, Jr?

  • July 30, 2002, 12:49 p.m. CST

    Minega has a beer and cheats on Vin Diesel

    by JudgeDredd

    There. I said it.

  • July 30, 2002, 1:25 p.m. CST

    wow

    by JadaBad

    You guys never cease to amaze me. First off, you go Nozoki. Tell them how it is.Personally, I liked the So fuck you at the end. Nice touch. My opinion exactly. Next, who cares if Tristan_Megistus is bisexual or not. It's up to him. I don't see how it's any of your damn business, and when you say "its not the correct way" I was just wondering who died and made you God. It's Tristan's body,so he can do what he pleases with it. If he thinks that's the correct way then that's his opinion. (I'm not for or against gays, I just think everyone should mind their own business) Another thing, to the people who are taking the time out to post about other people's spelling errors and grammar. You need to get a life. I can get it if your posting about a message that is so messed up that you can't understand it, but not if the person spells a few words wrong. This is an online message board, not english class. As for Vin sucking in the Knock around guys preview. The movie probably does suck, but he made that movie awhile ago. Before he did TFATF or several other movies. He also has a small part in that film. The movie has been post-poned for well over a year. So now it's going to make him look stupid. Going from Lead role in XXX to next summers Knockaround guys which every critic so far has said sucks(not because of Vin, bad storyline). He is also going to get screwed over by another film originally called El Diablo, but now unnamed. It's having the same problem as Knockaround guys, and won't be released for a lot longer, maybe a few years. By that time Vin will be the shit, so it'll really make him look like an ass. He did those roles before he was on demand, like he is now.You have to pay the bills somehow. Even if he was doing crapping roles, atleast he was acting which is what he loves to do. I don't think Vin will ever do gay porn or just plain porn. I'm a huge fan of the Man, and from his interviews and chats he seems like a a nice guy. He also doesn't seem like some public pimp. He said in an article that he watches porn, but I don't think he'd take it any further. His career is taking off at an astonishing pace, so he doesn't need to resort to cheesy porn flicks.

  • July 30, 2002, 1:59 p.m. CST

    in a movie like this script really serves little purpose

    by Wee Willie

    in a movie like this script really serves little purpose in a movie like this script really serves little purpose in a movie like this script really serves little purpose in a movie like this script really serves little purpose in a movie like this script really serves little purpose