Movie News

MORIARTY Gets Freaky With GOLDMEMBER!!

Published at: July 26, 2002, 4:43 a.m. CST by staff

Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.

There are times where I wonder what eyes other people use when looking at a film, and where I wonder how my own can see something so different.

I see people ranting and raving about GOLDMEMBER as if it is some abomination, some sub-CORKY ROMANO piece of shit that scathes their retinas through mere exposure. I see otherwise rational people embarrassing themselves in an effort to find the right adjectives to express their hatred for Mike Myers and this film.

And I’m stumped by it. Positively baffled.

One of the long-term projects we’re working on here at the Labs is an in-depth examination of the impact that SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE and its talent pool has had on motion pictures. The ‘90s Lists will look like a doodle on the back of a cocktail napkin by comparison, meaning you should get your first look at this hefty tome sometime around 2050.

I think some of the most heinous crimes against comedy have been committed by guys who graduated from the Lorne Michaels Meat Grinder, but there’s no denying the high-watermarks that other cast members have set. I think the original GHOSTBUSTERS is about as perfectly realized a mainstream franchise comedy as I’ve ever seen. Films like CADDYSHACK and ANIMAL HOUSE have a raucous energy and a sort of overwhelming desire to entertain that much of the pedestrian output in recent years just can’t muster. People may consider THE BLUES BROTHERS bloated or excessive, but you can’t argue this: it’s ambitious. And in my book, ambition definitely counts.

As far as Mike Myers goes, I think he’s a charming comedian. Yes, I hear that he emulates his idol Peter Sellers in more ways than just versatility, but I don’t care what he’s like off-screen. I think he’s got range and he’s consistently inventive, and even his worst films have had their moments.

He’s definitely a fan of the kitchen sink approach. It’s like every possible idea that he had has been thrown at the screen here. That means that, yes, there are a number of jokes that don’t work, that fall flat, or that feel like a stutter.

But, oh... the jokes that work...

I saw AUSTIN POWERS: INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY at a test screening way in advance of its release, way before I was writing for AICN at all. It’s one of the three most painful test screenings I’ve ever been to for comedies. I went with Harry Lime and our other friend, Yojimbo, and the three of us laughed incredibly hard. We were alone, though. The rest of the theater pretty much greeted the film with stony silence. I wasn’t surprised when the film failed to find an audience upon release, but I was surprised when it found one on video. Pleasantly surprised. It was a lovely little cult hit, a film appreciated largely by fans of the films that it roasted so successfully.

And then came the sequel, and the marketing build-up, and New Line’s greatest hour of salesmanship. Somehow, they took a failed franchise and resold it to America as a hit they just missed. THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME was bigger, more bizarre than the original, and abandoned the fish-out-of-water notion of the original in favor of something else, something more original, more uniquely Mike Myers. When I went to a test screeing of the sequel, it was a totally different mood than at the screening of the first one. There was an expectation, a familiarity. Myers and his collaborators Mike McCullers (co-screenplay) and Jay Roach (directing) were smart enough to expand the role of Dr. Evil, easily the best comic creation of Myers’s career so far. The addition of Mini-Me (played by Verne Troyer) was inspired, a totally deranged riff on the memorably horrible ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU. One of the things that was apparent, though, was that some of the repetition of jokes from the first film was wearing, with Mustafa’s return being a good example of the law of diminishing returns. I like Wil Farrell quite a bit, but the bit was funny the first time and monotonous the second time. The film also walked the fine line between funny and repulsive, and there were missteps in a few places, putting Mike on the wrong side of that line.

No matter. SPY WHO SHAGGED ME was a great example of someone learning from a prior mistake. When Myers made his sequel to WAYNE’S WORLD, he rushed and used a script he wasn’t happy with and tried to cover it up with comic digressions. It didn’t work. The film was a largely unfunny mess, and it killed that potential series dead in one fell swoop. This time around, when faced with the idea of a sequel, Myers stepped up and tried to do something that would outdo the original. The opening musical number/credit sequence in TSWSM is hilarious, beautifully staged and naughty in just the right way. Heather Graham may not have been particularly funny in the film, but she’s incredibly hot, and she seems to be game for whatever Myers suggests. Besides, she’s not the one who had to carry the burden of being funny. It’s Mike’s show, almost completely.

When I started seeing advertising for this film, I was unimpressed. That first trailer with the “little person” version of the opening of the first film was more than unfunny; it was ghastly. It said nothing about the film that it was supposedly selling, and if you didn’t know what AUSTIN POWERS was, this trailer certainly wouldn’t convince you to see it. Even once we started seeing footage, I didn’t see anything particularly appealing. It looked to me like more of the same, and there was no hint of anything genuinely funny. I’ve never seen a trailer for a comedy film where there were no real punch lines before, but the GOLDMEMBER trailers managed it.

Maybe that accumulated skepticism helped when I walked into the theater with Harry Lime last week. I had no real expectations for the film or for the franchise. I thought it had run its course.

And now? Well, now, I think I’d perfectly happy with an AUSTIN POWERS 4. Because now I have complete faith in the ability of Roach and Myers and McCullers to keep pushing these characters to new and different comic places. I am convinced that there is plenty of life to be wrung from what they’ve built for us.

I’m also convinced that there has been more genuine character growth over the course of these three films than there has been in the entire James Bond franchise so far, and that is just plain sad.

I know... some of you are rolling your eyes and saying, “But it’s only a comedy.” Because comedy is thought of as disposable in our film diet. There are very few enduring comedies, films that stand up to rewatching, films that somehow remain funny after the first exposure. So much of what people call comedy today is based on shock. One of the reasons I love the work that Myers does in the AUSTIN POWERS films is that his sense of humor is based almost entirely on performance and character.

Take, for example, the difference between Dr. Evil and Austin Powers. As characters, they couldn’t be more different. This is one of the few cases of an actor playing multiple roles where I find it possible to literally forget that they are the same person. I know that Dr. Evil’s voice started out as a riff on the way Lorne Michaels himself speaks, and that his appearance is a goof on Bond’s Blofeld, but Myers has filled him in with so many tics and quirks and details that Dr. Evil is now something wholly original. Austin was indeed played as a fish-out-of-water at first, but that’s impossible to sustain. The first film was about him adjusting to his new surroundings. The second film is about him learning that no one can take his mojo. And this new film is Austin’s own personal comic ROAD TO PERDITION, in which he has to come to terms with what exactly he has gotten from his father, and what he’s been denied. Austin has actually been consistent, growing in confidence and texture over the course of the three films. When the revelations hit in the final reel of GOLDMEMBER about Austin’s family, it’s funny because of the weight of everything that’s come before. There are jokes and payoffs in this film that have taken three movies to set up.

My favorite thing about this movie is the relationship between Dr. Evil, Scott Evil, and Mini-Me, and the way dynamics shift as things play out. Seth Green is given a lot of room to play here, and so is Verne Troyer. Both make the most of their opportunities. Scott Evil finally comes into his own as an Evil in this film, and Mini-Me is allowed to run even wilder than he did in the first film. When Mini-Me switches sides, it leads to several of the film’s funniest moments, including a deeply creepy moment involving Foxxy Cleopatra. It’s amazing how generous Myers is in terms of screen time for these supporting characters. He’s obviously as entertained by them as we are.

And how’s Beyonce Knowles? Well, I’m not convinced she’s an actress, but she’s adorable in the film. She has a great time in every scene, and she’s ridiculously plush, like a real life Jessica Rabbit, all curves and flirt. She looks like she’s delighted by everything she’s given to say and do, and there’s a real appeal to that. She’s also wrapped fabulously here. There’s a tradition in the AUSTIN POWERS movies to make the women look really special. I’d say that no directors have been as kind to Elizabeth Hurley or Heather Graham as Jay Roach has been, and that’s one of the things that makes the movies fun. The snickering, arrested adolescent sexuality of the Bond films grows tiring after a while, and AUSTIN POWERS roasts that by making Austin playful about sex. The Ian Fleming Bond and the original Connery version was practically a sociopath. He slapped women around, roughed them up, saw them as a way to work out a little energy. Austin treats them all like princesses. He adores women. Myers has a bag of tricks he falls back on during Austin’s “seductive” moments, and they’re both funny and charming at the same time. The one thing they’re not is condescending. Unlike Bond, I really don’t get the sense that any of these women are disposable to Austin. He enjoys them all far too much for that.

Michael Caine is used well here, even if it is an extended cameo more than a full supporting role. His entrance is great, and he appears to be enjoying himself immensely. I’m also very fond of the flashback to the days of prep school, when Austin Powers and Dr. Evil were roommates. They’re played in the flashback by Aaron Himelstein, who does a spooky Austin, and Josh Zuckerman, who nails all of the mannerisms that make Dr. Evil so deliciously strange. Evan Farmer, who plays a young Number Two, sounds so much like Robert Wagner that I had to check the press notes before I was sure it wasn’t dubbed by Wagner himself. There are a number of star cameos in the film, particularly in the opening sequence, and there’s a kick to seeing this with a crowd that doesn’t know what’s coming. New Line was determined to try and keep the scene at least partially secret, and I can understand why. A big part of the reaction comes from the shock of seeing these big stars, so obviously eager to be part of this strange thing that Myers and Roach and McCullers have built. For me, the best guest starring appearances are the ones later in the film, with Nathan Lane doing particularly funny work.

There are moments where the entire enterprise threatens to topple over under the weight of the inside jokes, but then some new and fresh gag appears that turns our expectations inside out, and I found that I was willing to forgive Myers almost any sin. There’s a great visual gag involving Mini-Me and Austin trying to sneak into a building together that left me laughing for the entire scene afterwards. The things that make me laugh when I recall them now are little touches, like the way Dr. Evil reacts when he’s caught in a spotlight during a prison escape or the joy on his face when he sees the sharks that Scott got for him, or the glee with which Fat Bastard delivers his final line of the film.

And that fine line between funny and repulsive? Myers seems to have found it again, and navigates it splendidly. In TSWSM, there’s the infamous moment where he drinks Fat Bastard’s stool sample, a misfired joke if I’ve ever seen one. Here, there’s a moment involving a urine sample that is far funnier because we, the audience, know that what we’re really looking at is apple juice. The joke is in someone’s reaction to what they believe in urine. The mistake allows us to laugh without gagging at the same time. Even Fat Bastard is used more as a surreal joke than a disgusting one this time out. Overall, it’s a testament to Myers and Roach listening to the reaction of their audience. They’ve taken their ideas and refined them instead of just repeating them.

My advice is to take a step back from all the hype (easily the least attractive thing about the franchise... the product placement in the film is offensively thick) and ask yourself if you think Mike Myers is funny. If you do, then he’s working near the top of his game for much of this film. If you haven’t enjoyed his previous work, though, then save yourself the heartache and skip the film. His personality is as strongly imprinted on this as possible, and I for one savored every belly laugh the film had to offer. I recommend it completely, and hope we haven’t seen the last of these characters.

"Moriarty" out.





Readers Talkback

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  • July 26, 2002, 4:47 a.m. CST

    So you liked it...

    by elwen

    I'm not sure I will, I think Austin has run its course.

  • July 26, 2002, 4:57 a.m. CST

    The opening

    by Boba_Fett

    I just saw the opening of the film (yes, I downloaded it) and I must say...I definitely am going to see this one now, solely because of how cool that opening is. I'm sold.

  • July 26, 2002, 5:17 a.m. CST

    Two word review,,,

    by crush

    INTENSELY FUNNY

  • July 26, 2002, 5:35 a.m. CST

    Yes, it's probably funny..

    by SamWave

    but is it worth the effort involved to go see it? Er, wait.. that's sort of pathetic, isn't it? :-)

  • July 26, 2002, 5:39 a.m. CST

    Fouk Mi, that was quick!

    by reni

    Mate I liked it a lot. Consistently funny. If you didn't like the first two, then skip it. Best bit - Austin pulls two Japenese School Girls and gets out his "Things to do before I die" list - and crosses out threesome with 2 Japenese girls, just above 'earn Dad's respect'. It's the simple things in life which make me happy. (*Myers ought to try and do a Doctor Strangelove or Kind Hearts now whilst he's on this kind of form.)

  • July 26, 2002, 6:34 a.m. CST

    Whatevers

    by i'mYOURman

    CORKY ROMANO shit? Shut up. I laughed my ass off during that flick! I never did that when I saw the boringly unfunny cack Austin Powers flicks. Chris Kattan, Peter Berg, Fred Ward, Peter Falk, Matthew Glave and the great Chris Penn(really funny here) were frankly...hilarious in CK. Gem of a movie that got, and still is, unfairly crapped upon. Ah fuck it, this site was flushed down the toilet of credibility a long time ago, I guess now the stench is finally beginning to make my eyes sting. More funny films from the last couple of years were: TOMCATS(Jake Busey is God) RAT RACE(even Whoopi was funny), ZOOLANDER(Owen Wilson+funny cameo's+a fab Jon Voight), EVOLUTION(silly nonsense with great special effects and chemistry between the cast) and of course CORKY ROMANO. (All from 2001?!) Sure, they had their faults(last 10 minutes of Rat Race/the Corky Romano fireball jumping dog/the animation bits in Tomcats etc), but they are harmless cinematic pleasures never the less. PS: fucking remove the Batman vs Superman travesty-topic you craphounds.

  • July 26, 2002, 6:43 a.m. CST

    Connery's Bond as SOCIOPATH?!?!?!

    by Nastywhacks

    WHOA THERE, Mori! You think Bond-either Ian Fleming's original or Connery's version-is a borderline sociopath? What PC-Bullshit is this? Are you not able to view a film or book in the context of the era in which it was made? Are you not able to discern the character of Bond-when played as he's supposed to-as a spy who can die at any moment, thus making his grasps at a little respite (from very willing partners, no less) a quality that makes him even more human? He's not Superman-when his friends die (Kerim Bey in From Russia With Love, etc.) and he reacts angrily by slapping Romanova (who he KNOWS has been in league with the group that killed Bey) when he's trying to get information out of her, it's not only a natural reaction but in many ways the CORRECT one. Put yourself in his place.. you don't know who killed Bey and you know you are probably next. This woman has been JUST AS INVOLVED in the whole espionage case and she may-and probably does-have vital information. Are you going to chit chat nicely? Watch a film with your eyes a little more open next time, Mori. I usually like your reviews but casual accusations such as this are ridiculous. What's next-the misogyny of Chaney's Phantom of the Opera or the racist overtones of Elmo Lincoln's Tarzan? Over the years, different films and other media adapt to changing attitudes-as evidenced by how those 2 examples later incarnations changed their depiction of similar scenes from source material written in the 1800's and early 1900's.. the Bond films are another good example as any moron who has actually WATCHED the films will see the difference in the way certain characters are played between 1962 and 2002... and even so, even in the context of today, you cannot look at the Bond films and come up with sociopathy! NOT if you put things in context of WHAT IS OCCURRING ON THE SCREEN. There are a lot of women also trying to KILL Bond. Reacting to that is not sociopathy, it's survival.

  • July 26, 2002, 7:41 a.m. CST

    Nice One Mori.....

    by Mr_B

    I really glad for this review. Finally someone has spoken out about the constant slagging that this movie has gotten, especially in talkbacks. I'll be honest I think it's just down to a lot of readers who's self importance has gone through the roof given the opportunity to vent their opinions on the net. All it takes is a few people who like to appear intellectually superior by damning a film for whatever contrived reason they think up, and giving the impression that anyone who does like it must be an idiot. Then the people who like the film usually (not always) keep their mouths shut for fear of ridicule. Ask the average Joe and they love Austin Powers, and usually like the second movie more than the first. Yet here on talkbacks the knives are usually out for it. I say lighten up here people. Austin Powers is a fun franchise, it's not out to change the world and shouldn't have to. It is what it says it is.

  • July 26, 2002, 7:42 a.m. CST

    If harry hates, then everyone hates it. if moriarty likes it the

    by TheGinger Twit

    I'm looking forward to this film. If it sucks, then it sucks. If it doesn't, then even better!

  • July 26, 2002, 7:46 a.m. CST

    Your gonna give a bad review to a film which has been advertised

    by NapoleonWilson

    Having seen the film last night I can say its a mess - but then I expected that. An excellent opining (I wont spoil it for you all)and a very funny Michael Caine. BUT.....it all had the feeling of a Austin Powers xmas special...tooo cloying and not enough 60's kitsch.

  • July 26, 2002, 8:20 a.m. CST

    i'mYOURman speaketh from his arth!

    by IOWNKINGS

    i'mYOURman you are wrong wrong wrong! Rat Race is the biggest pile of shite I have seen since Attack Of The Clones. The only funny moments where with the Jewish family at the Nazi Museum and stealing Hitler's car. Rowan Atkinson's Mr Bean character was severely butt-fucked by the studio. Why does Mr Bean suddenly have to speak in a pseudo-Italian accent when anybody that sees the film will instantly recognise him as Mr Bean. Mr Bean doesn't need to speak, don't you guys get it? What next? A remake of 'Mon Uncle' with Kevin Spacey!

  • July 26, 2002, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Imyourman

    by WeedyMcSmokey

    You sir, are a halfwit.

  • July 26, 2002, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Product placement

    by dougmac

    The product placement was disturbing in TSWSM as it was so severe, but I think Myers does it as a joke. One of the funnier bits in the first Wayne's World was the product placement/sell-out riff between him and Garth.

  • July 26, 2002, 9:28 a.m. CST

    mike myers has it clued up

    by I_AM_A_WOOKIE

    whats this about the teaser trailer being unfunny. it was the funniest this i have ever seen! mike myers realised that midgets ARE FUNNY! who can forget their initial reaction when they saw mini-me for the first time? it was brilliant! i think it will be the british and the europeans who will appreciate this movie more than the americans, there is a sense of irony in the austin powers movies that the americans just dont get, but the british do. i think mike myers appreciates this humour because he has brittish connections and all that stuff. it will definately o down better over here (UK) than in the states.

  • July 26, 2002, 9:52 a.m. CST

    AP3 worth seeing with an audience

    by cookiepuss

    Put it this way: the opening five minutes is easily worth your ten bucks, so look at the rest as gravy. And, Mini Me in this movie has about a BILLION times more talent than the sucking sound that is named Eddie Griffin. If you don't like the AP movies, Mike Myers or Benny Hill - DON'T GO. (There's always a repeat viewing of the Black Hole of Comedy MIBII next door.) This movie isn't perfect, but it has the funniest fucking shit in it in a loooooong time.

  • July 26, 2002, 10 a.m. CST

    I'm surprised.

    by gurglesnap

    I'm a bit surprised that Moriarty liked this. But I suppose he asks the correct question at the end: Do you like Mike Myers? My answer is a resounding NO. I think he's a one-note hack. All of his 'characters' are riffs on the same damn bits. There's the squinty-eyed, grinning good guys: Austin Powers is Wayne Campbell is Simon (the bathtime drawing kid) etc. (How do you do perform Wayne? You squint your eyes, with a giant, vacant grin. Bob your head every now and again. How do you perform Austin? You squint your eyes, with a giant, vacant grin. Bob your head every now and again. How do you perform Simon? I'll let you figure it out) , For the occasional variation, he does a guy with a Scottish accent. Fat Bastard, Shrek, the All Things Scottish guy from SNL... All riffs on, "HEY! ISN'T A SCOTTISH ACCENT INHERENTLY HILARIOUS?!!? ISN'T IT???" Then there's the third and final archetype in the Mike Myers repertoire: The eccentric freak. Your Dieter. Your Dr. Evil. I'm presuming Goldmember will fall into this category as well... So let me amend my original premise: Mike Myers is a THREE-NOTE HACK. How we as a society have decided to reward this man with fame and money baffles me.

  • July 26, 2002, 10:27 a.m. CST

    hey, buddy! fuck you--waynes world 2 was hilarious

    by indar20

    'you didnt tell them about my pubes did you?' ' . . . no' hahahahahahahahaha yeah, fuck you.

  • July 26, 2002, 10:27 a.m. CST

    Fat Bastard is the greatest villain ever!

    by Some Dude

    Here are a few reasons why... He is morbidly obese. He is an accomplished flatulator. He cannibalizes infants. He cuckolds the hero only to top that shaming by inadvertently getting said hero to drink his dooku. In the cut scenes of AP2 he threatens to rape Rob Lowe. He is also HUMAN!. His final brief, but introspective, monologue ("I eat because...") in AP2 humanizes this monster in a way that many dramas could learn from. People who claim that Fat Bastard is just another fat-joke are most likely overweight and unable to look past their own body issues to see the inherent comedy of the character. Oh, and since seeing AP2 in the theater I've lost 40 lbs of fat and put on muscle. I am now officially a stud. Thank you, Mike Myers. And thank you, Fat Bastard!!!

  • July 26, 2002, 11:05 a.m. CST

    What's with the animation at the top of the menu?

    by XFTwitch

    Why are we being shown Mori and Harry in a disgusting '69'? That's one of the grossest things I think I've ever seen.

  • July 26, 2002, 11:31 a.m. CST

    This movie was BORING .. First two had original and FUNNY gags .

    by philtho

    And that about sums it up. They reused a lot of the same gags and didn't come up with new ones like in AP2 .. The jokes were less funny, and the movie was less raunchy. They had a non-funny chase scene that went on for too long .. Goldmember wasnt funny in the slightest .. Fat Bastard was less than stellar .. Mini-Me was amusing, but he's outlived his amusing aspect to the movie.. I laughed maybe 4 or 5 times .. The first and second movies were funny straight through..

  • July 26, 2002, 11:34 a.m. CST

    Heheh, that "Eyes Wide Shut" animation...

    by Fatal Discharge

    ...it's disgustingly funny and perfectly timed. Remembering back to all the negative stuff written about THAT film on AICN....shows how little I value some of the opinions on here, since that film is a masterpiece (still can't get it out of my mind all these years later...a true sign of a classic). I think Myers is funny; the first AP film was hilarious with the second slightly less so (Heather Graham has got to be one of the worst over-hyped actresses of the last 10 years...big promise in Boogie Nights, then jack squat since then). The Peter Sellers reference by Moriarty is to his being very difficult to work with due to his perfectionism. So what if Myers is like that, you still get a career of genius unlike....say....the career of Myers' buddy Dana Carvey (ugh!).

  • July 26, 2002, 12:16 p.m. CST

    Damn you Mori.

    by Juggernaut125

    I really wasn't very interested in seeing this as I found AP2 nothing but a poor sequel rehashing the same jokes. Figured 3 was about the same. I'm not about to rush out and see it tomorrow, but now I figure I probably will catch this one in the theatres. It's your fault Mori. You have this nice way of putting things that is just so persuasive. Bastard.

  • July 26, 2002, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Is Mike Myers funny. Hell yes!

    by JAGUART

    If you wanna bitch, bitch about Matt Damon and Ben Affleck becoming action heroes.

  • July 26, 2002, 12:31 p.m. CST

    i gotta say this-

    by world's finest

    austin powers is possibly the funniest movie i have ever seen. i thought everything in it was brilliant from the sight ggas to the timing. spy who shagged me was a little embarrassing because it tried to recycle so many jokes in an effort to remain familiar, but i still thought expanding dr. evil's role and the intro of fat bastard and mini-me were genius. pure comic genius. as for goldmember, well even if you despise austin powers, the first ten minutes of goldmember are probably the funniest laugh out loud moments in cinema history. hell, just watch it yourself, then stick around for the next show and listen to the audience reaction. yes, i loved goldmember, perhaps more so than the first austin powers. i heard it's supposed to be the last but i'm hoping they'll realize they can still make 'em laugh and give us a few more. so go see goldmember, it's good advice.

  • July 26, 2002, 12:34 p.m. CST

    "take me, garth." "where? i'm low on gas and you need a jac

    by AlecBings

    i just watched Waynes World 2 yesterday and, despite being pretty thin at times, it's still damn funny in a lot of places. ~~ PS: when are all you fucking assholes gonna stop bitching and moaning about "blah blah blah New Line advertises on AICN, so they have to get a good review blah blah blah." SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY! you've failed to make your point! Harry, Moriarty, and the rest run this site because they have a genuine love of film, and if they hate a film, they'll tell us, and if they love a film, they'll tell us even louder. don't shit where you eat, assholes.

  • July 26, 2002, 12:39 p.m. CST

    THANKS FOR THE SPOILER

    by mbr0wn

    a warning would have been nice

  • July 26, 2002, 12:59 p.m. CST

    Yeah I'm sure the movie will be fine BUT CAN ONE OF YOU GOLD

    by Sith Lord Sauron

    JEEZ-us!!!!!

  • Just wondering. I mean come on, there is no way a sober person would gush about a movie like this.

  • July 26, 2002, 1:15 p.m. CST

    Don't go. Spare your love of the other two films.

    by Jerk_Sisko

    I saw the first Austin Powers in theatres on opening day. Even though the theatre was nearly deserted, I laughed until it hurt. Goldmember is just not that funny. The only way you'll laugh through this one is if you see it in a packed theatre, goaded into laughing along with everyone at jokes like a CGI submarine that looks like Dr. Evil, which releases gas, and later a radio antenna out of it's butt. Bad jokes always seem better when all the morons in the theatre are going bonkers over them, you know what I mean? There's a guy with a mole on his face, and Austin can't stop staring at said mole. He goes berzerk like Roger Rabbit trying not to say "Two Bits" or Jim Carrey trying to write a lie in "Liar Liar". I think I smiled the first time it happened. And it's not like I'm above low-brow comedy, I laugh every time Fat Bastard farts, and I adore "Dumb and Dumber". Dr. Evil wearing a headscarf like 2-Pac's while he's in jail? Funny. Dr. Evil doing the 'hard knock life' rap? Not so much. If you can see this movie with that crowd from "Def Comedy Jam" that falls on the floor and has a laugh seizure every time a joke is made, you might be peer-pressured into liking this movie. Otherwise, don't see this and let it taint your memories of how good the other two are.

  • July 26, 2002, 1:16 p.m. CST

    Excellent review.

    by Shabba McDoo

    I like this review not only because I also enjoyed the hell out of this film, but because this one makes Harry's negative review look amateur-ish.

  • July 26, 2002, 1:28 p.m. CST

    RE: Moriarty as Roeper

    by All Thumbs

    You can say the man's writing is wordy. You can almost throw up and threaten to gouge your eyes out when you see that freaky Eyes Wide Shut animation in the corner. You can curse at him for his opinions...but don't EVER call him the Richard Roeper of this site. That's one of hte most insulting analogies to make about a true film geek like the professor. If anything, Moriarty is the Gene Siskel of AICN.

  • July 26, 2002, 1:32 p.m. CST

    Mori...ya hit on the head!

    by flubber

    Just saw it yesterday and I thought my sides were gonna rip. Talk about an ab workout! I loved it! For those who didn't like it, you must need another whirl cuz ya just didn't understand the humor. I thought it was interesting as well how the Austin Powers series didn't do well at the box office, but gained momentum once it was released on video. Sort of like some foods I know. Takes a bit gettin' used to if it's so different. Myers did give a lot of the limelight to others, but I hope the next one features more Seth Green. His crossover on this one lends itself to further character development. He's got a lot of potential along with great timing to become a major player in the next Austin Powers series. Nigel and Mini-me was priceless. I died when he called him a tripod...lol. Gonna see it again this weekend!

  • July 26, 2002, 1:45 p.m. CST

    Amen, brotha'.

    by Shabba McDoo

  • July 26, 2002, 2:15 p.m. CST

    For Your Height Only!

    by Declan_Swartz

    If you want to see a real funny midget taske on James Bond get a dvd copy of For Your Height Only. All I will say is it from the Phillipines, the '70s, and it stars a Filipino midget. Mini-me would get his ass kicked by this guy who does his own stunts! Read this extensive review:www.teleport-city.com/movies/reviews/action/height.html New Line just release Run Ronnie Run already.

  • July 26, 2002, 2:23 p.m. CST

    I can't rip on this one yet, as I haven't seen it, but I

    by empyreal0

    The vast majority of what I remember from AP2 was a stream of weak Mini-Me jokes ("Stop humping the laser"), disgusting Fat Bastard jokes (named stool sample joke, huge ripples of fat), and aggravatingly lengthy and horribly unfunny reprises of the original's jokes ("shht/zip it", obvious advertisement-style product placement). What worked? Jerry Springer - because it was not only an expansion on the original's self-help group scene, but it was an environment that suited the truly bizarre characters we're dealing with, a twist on the original. The opening credits also worked, because the choreography was brilliant, and the visual gags hit you one right after another with little or no time to catch your breath. Other than that, it was mostly crap. I liked the first for being the cult hit it was - it's got that same made-in-the-basement charm as Wayne's World, where you feel closer to the filmmakers in a way. As for AP3, I'll probably still see it, but the trailers have all been atrociously bad, make-you-get-up-and-leave-the-room bad, not even worthy of a smile or a chuckle, and I'm having a really hard time believing that there is anything remotely funny in the film.

  • July 26, 2002, 2:24 p.m. CST

    I can't rip on this one yet, as I haven't seen it, but I

    by empyreal0

    The vast majority of what I remember from AP2 was a stream of weak Mini-Me jokes ("Stop humping the laser"), disgusting Fat Bastard jokes (named stool sample joke, huge ripples of fat), and aggravatingly lengthy and horribly unfunny reprises of the original's jokes ("shht/zip it", obvious advertisement-style product placement). What worked? Jerry Springer - because it was not only an expansion on the original's self-help group scene, but it was an environment that suited the truly bizarre characters we're dealing with, a twist on the original. The opening credits also worked, because the choreography was brilliant, and the visual gags hit you one right after another with little or no time to catch your breath. Other than that, it was mostly crap. I liked the first for being the cult hit it was - it's got that same made-in-the-basement charm as Wayne's World, where you feel closer to the filmmakers in a way. As for AP3, I'll probably still see it, but the trailers have all been atrociously bad, make-you-get-up-and-leave-the-room bad, not even worthy of a smile or a chuckle, and I'm having a really hard time believing that there is anything remotely funny in the film.

  • July 26, 2002, 2:55 p.m. CST

    WHY DO MEN HAVE TO SAY BOND IS JUVENILE?

    by MassaSideous

  • July 26, 2002, 2:56 p.m. CST

    Mike Myers is severly over-rated, mmm-hmm

    by Karl Childers

    He kinda steals too much schtik from his SNL days, mmm-hmm.

  • July 26, 2002, 2:58 p.m. CST

    WHY DO MEN HAVE TO SAY BOND IS JUVENILE?

    by MassaSideous

    Are their girlfriends watching them type out these messages? Are we so fuckin' PC whipped we have to confess that Bond is juvenile arrested development? Just get in on the joke and stop strokin' gloria Steinem!

  • July 26, 2002, 3:53 p.m. CST

    Austin Powers is 'mature sexuality'?

    by KONG33

    and never grows 'tired after awhile'? Simply because he's kind to them, that's all that's required for mature sexuality? How can a hatred for women or slapping them like James Bond be 'adolescent'? And who cares if the film plot changes ...it wasn't FUNNY. Also, where is JAMES BOND 007 supposed to go? He had no personality, he was in a movies that were a cheap joke, a mean-spirited view and humor towards women, unredeemable and we wouldn't have it any other way (everyone deserves to be slapped sometimes, and it doesn't make you a sociopath)... should he stop smoking, be PC, quit spying, viewing women in bikinis, if that's getting old, stop seeing 007 films. AP is based on SHOCK, the same vein as SOUTH PARK: BLU, that, to me is black comedy. Not people having a few laughs at the expense of a fake corpse. If these movies were actually based on characters/plot for the most part, instead of musical numbers, cheap sex jokes we've all heard, phallic objects and midgets, it would be better, the first one was at least concentrated, none of the character moments worked for me in this film, like in AP1 and 2. Look again, clearly they did just repeat all of the older jokes, they aren't 'listening to their audience'. It's cheap, modern brain mush, and completely classless. Why can't there be one comedy where people won't feel disgusted with themselves after leaving the theater? Anyone can write this... Anyone get a laugh out of 'Foxy' or 'Goldmember'?

  • July 26, 2002, 4:02 p.m. CST

    the first one was great

    by trkane

    the second one should've been called international man of mystery redux, or something, since it was the same jokes from the original for the ENTIRE movie with the exception of the fat guy, who wasn't funny, and mini me. this one i imagine will have plenty of tricycled jokes, and will further prove that NO sequels should have been made to the brilliant original. and dr. evil in TSWSM is truly unfunny. his voice, the shit he says, he went from being a clever evil genius character to being shit, just like he will be in this one. the prison scene? holy lord. sadly, i'll have to hear 20 million jackasses quote dr. evil all summer (which is somehow far worse than hearing the already tired mike mires evil), putting thier pinkies up like he does, and making me puke.

  • July 26, 2002, 4:44 p.m. CST

    It was funny but there are two things that bothered me

    by Steal_Dragon

    The Britney Spears part. It said all over the internet that her part was supposed to be funny with her breasts, like making fun of the way that her breasts were fake, but the guns just came out of them like they did with the fembots in the first one, Elizabeth Hurley's fembot was much funnier and second I also read that Felicity Shagwell was going to be in it and get rid of her but she was no where to be found, it was even on IMDB that she was in it. Anyway the movie was still funny.

  • July 26, 2002, 5:05 p.m. CST

    Yea, Mori likes it but...

    by XFTwitch

    This is the guy that in the animation up at the top of the menu is giving Harry a rim job. Doesn't speak well for credibility.

  • July 26, 2002, 5:43 p.m. CST

    I've seen this before

    by humboldt99

    God that was such a brutal show, when are they going to learn to let old jokes die. And the prison music sequence...horrible.

  • July 26, 2002, 5:48 p.m. CST

    Why I lauged at the 'Little Austin' trailer

    by Neon_Noodle

    You see, I'm one of the people who never saw the original Austin Powers movie in theatres. The small screen is where I became familiar with it. And there I was, in my local movie theatre of choice, seeing that well-known opening sequence on the *big* screen... and everyone in it was small. I know it's hard to explain, but that's why the trailer worked for me.

  • July 26, 2002, 7:38 p.m. CST

    You either get AP or you don't

    by bogrod

    Well said, Moriarty. To me, I love the AP movies specifically because they are silly. But, I think it's like a lot of comedy, some people have their own specific tastes. If you 'get' AP, you get it in a big way, and you're totally hooked.

  • July 26, 2002, 7:48 p.m. CST

    James Bond is a mean son of a bitch,

    by Billy Talent

    That's the god damned point. Look at his job; the fate of the world depends on him, he lives in constant peril, and he has to kill without hesitation. It's not a job for nice guys. Women are attracted to Bond (especially Connery's Bond) because he's dangerous and cruel, not in spite of that.

  • July 26, 2002, 7:55 p.m. CST

    AP 3 rocks

    by Dudley228

    I started having doubts about this movie when I saw the trailer so many times. I liked the first teaser trailer where they had a mini-Austin redoing the dance number from the first movie. When I saw the new trailers with actual footage from the movie, I started thinking that I wouldn't like this movie as much as the last sequel. I was so long. I loved this movie. I laughed so hard last night that I started coughing and choking. I will see this movie again. -Dudley

  • July 26, 2002, 7:57 p.m. CST

    And as for the corner animation...

    by Billy Talent

    I say if it feels good, do it. Congratulations you two, I think you'll be very happy together. HARRY - "There's one thing we need to do as soon as possible." - MORIARITY - "What's that?" - HARRY - "Fuck."

  • July 26, 2002, 8:08 p.m. CST

    DOES ANYONE ELSE...

    by NYC

    besides me find these movies painfully not funny? Not one bit entertaining in any way. Mike Myers is the biggest overpaid, overrated piece of shit ever. I would've thought better of Graham and Hurley participating in such crap. I actually like and respect Catherine Zeta Jones now for turning it down. As for Beyonce, she seems a perfect fit for this kind of worthless trash.

  • July 26, 2002, 8:36 p.m. CST

    Lane Meyers

    by EXP.Serum114

    What ever happenned to that guy?

  • July 26, 2002, 9:01 p.m. CST

    I've just seen it and while i laughed my ass off, the audien

    by hank_scorpio

    I fear that the film will, yes, open big, but have a huuuuuuuge drop off next week. I think that this movie may open some doors for Fred Savage though. His bit in the film (won't spoil it, priceless) was the one that recieved the most chuckles. Mini Me stole the show again, proving just how irreplaceble Verne Troyer is. I loved the bit in the 70's club between Myers and Caine, there's was some sparkling chemistry there, and i didn't mind Goldmember of even Fat Bastard. Harry's comments about Miss Knowles weren't biased at all, she just shined in this film. Those kids playing the young Powers and Evil were brilliant and it's a shame we didn't see more of them. Finally, Kevin Spacey, you sir, should do more comedies, you figgin rocked for all of the two seconds you were on screen. I heard that Heather Graham was supposed to turn up, did i just miss her? I recommend it, unless you're in the Harry camp who loved the second (which gets more lacklustre every time i see it) and didn't have the time for the first (which had a real heart to it).

  • July 26, 2002, 9:03 p.m. CST

    my review of this review

    by MonkeyPenny

    ummm...this review sucked. i've never heard anyone refer to mike meyers as anything but a comic genius. maybe a few stragglers here and there, but definately not "sub-corky romano". yeah, he caught some shit over his artistic temperment, but in the end, everybody sees how good he is, so it's ok. the first austin powers wasn't just a "cult" film. it was a huge comedy that people just didn't catch onto right away. it got great word of mouth, that's why it was such a hit on video. it's no surprise. eventually, everybody was going, "yeah, baby, yeah!". and, the second film wasn't a hit because it was a "marketing coup". it was a hit because by then, everyone was in love with austin powers. as for the "little people" version- it was just funny. why not have a bunch of midgets do the austin powers opening? it was "ghastly"? please, watch the news, that shit is ghastly. i get so sick of all these people who feel like "little people" and other physical differences need to be protected. they like to goof around and get crazy just like "regular size" people do. they have a show in canada called "how's your news". it's a news program hosted by retarded people. and, there are all these cries of outrage because they feel like they're being exploited. the retarded kids INVENTED the show. they WANT to do it. they don't have to be shut away in special homes. they want to have productive and meaningful lives, too. they can laugh at themselves, just like the rest of us. austin powers is just about being yourself, and having fun. it's about "silly being our natural state". this reviewer comes off like he's too frickin' serious to review this movie. he analyzes all the wrong things, like the business end, and gets too long winded like he's writing a frickin' college essay. just review the film. don't try to get all edumacated on austin powers and mike myers film career. 'cause you gotta be a good writer to do that. know your limitations.

  • July 26, 2002, 9:04 p.m. CST

    Sorry i posted it twice, technical problems.

    by hank_scorpio

  • July 26, 2002, 9:04 p.m. CST

    and...

    by MonkeyPenny

    blues brothers was fuckin' awesome! it wasn't just ambitious, it was cool.

  • July 26, 2002, 9:17 p.m. CST

    Don't think i'm sucking up to Moriarty, he was just mean

    by hank_scorpio

    and can't call himself a big Bond fan (as he has done before) if he's dissing Connery's Bond. He fails to realise that if Bond started getting more warm and fuzzy then he'd critise it of betraying Bond's roots. This is the only time i've ever disagreed with you. I'm starting to think you are getting more than friendly with Harry and it ain't good for you. I think we can all agree though, if Die Another Day sucks ass then Bond is dead. That's another thing, where was the bond trailer that MGM are obliged to put on the front of Goldmember, i saw it in the uk and it wasn't there. Did anyone out there see it? Or was all that legal scuttlebut for nothing?

  • July 26, 2002, 10:12 p.m. CST

    No, No... You Misunderstand Me...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... I love James Bond's early films. I love Sean Connery's portrayal for exactly the reasons I mentioned here. I prefer my Bond cold, heartless, and brutal. I hate the goofy, silly, PC Bond we see today. Calling him a sociopath isn't an insult; it's what made him so damn effective.

  • July 26, 2002, 11:15 p.m. CST

    Alright then i take it back Mori, but what's wrong with the

    by hank_scorpio

  • July 27, 2002, midnight CST

    The Corner Animation is F*ckin' Cool

    by Duty

    Is that from Eyes Wide Shut?? Man, that has to be one of the best...right up there with the American Beauty

  • July 27, 2002, 12:36 a.m. CST

    this is a fruity observation.

    by 81666

    i saw a bit of goldmember and noticed in the flashback of Austin's college days, Basil exposition is a classmate. then i see a bit of austin powers part one in a 60's flashback and basil introduces himself in the car videophone for the first time to him and mrs. kensington. maybe i missed the whole thing and they did know eachother. you know what what the fuck does it matter? that animation is by far the worst one since he eye-slitting one. - 81666

  • July 27, 2002, 12:46 a.m. CST

    Moriarty, I've Got News For You...

    by Rebeck

    You're not a James Bond fan. What was so PC about Bond killing a woman in cold blood in TWINE? You don't even make sense. The other poster was right: if they change the formula, you'd say they're betraying Ian Fleming's vision, and if they never change, it's stale. They can't win. And you know what? If you liked this piece-of-shit comedy that never rises above toilet humor (and yes, I saw it today), then well, we're glad to count you out as a Bond fan. And once and for all, people, stop predicting that the Bond series is going to be dead. It just makes you sound stupid. It's been going on for FORTY FUCKING YEARS!!! If you don't like it, watch all that crap like "Attack Of The Clones" that I can't stand, OK? The series may have had its ups and downs, but I'd put its quality control up against anything. Most franchises can't even make THREE decent movies! Your taste is in your mouth, Moriarty.

  • July 27, 2002, 2 a.m. CST

    You know what I missed?

    by Terry_1978

    I just came from the 10:50 showing, and I thought it was pretty good, sans the somewhat silly twist ending(Evil has to come back in some shape or form, man). Most of the audience laughed at the physical comedy and profanity/gross-out quotient, and a select few laughed at the witty remarks and in-jokes. Getting to my subject line, I missed the musical cut-scenes that connected the various scenes and acts in AP1 and 2. Those are what make the AP movies, and I hate Myers left those out. On my final note, after seeing Goldmember, I must follow in Austin's footsteps and add to my list of things to do "have threesome with japanese twins"....lord, if only I could.....

  • July 27, 2002, 2:05 a.m. CST

    I have the feeling I'm going to like this movie.

    by superninja

    The first time I saw Austin Powers in the theater, I was with my family, and thought it was boring and stupid. Then, I watched it again on rental, and I went out and bought the DVD. It just grows on you. For some reason, the stuff that was stupid the first time around only becomes funnier and more endearing with each viewing. Honestly, I think it comes down to one thing: either you think Mike Myers' sense of humor is funny or you don't. I've followed his career ever since he was on SNL - I've always liked the guy. The trailers for this movie were very lackluster, but I've read enough reviews that suggest Goldmember is in the same vein as the first film. The Spy Who Shagged Me seemed like an attempt to make Austin Powers more approachable, instead of just going with the bizarre humor that made the first film so unique. Fat Bastard and Mini-Me were funny, but the movie just didn't have the sharp wit the first had (not to mention a vacant costar in Heather Graham). The reviews for Goldmember remind me somewhat of the reviews for Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. It's bizarre, and people don't know what to make of it on the outset. I see that as a big 'ol WELCOME sign. Maybe the jokes are tired, or maybe people don't get that Austin Powers is making fun of itself. I'll have to see it for myself. And I think Beyonce looks like she's having a great time playing Foxxy Cleopatra in the trailers. Sometimes you can love a movie just because you get the feeling that everyone making the movie is having the time of their lives and wants you to join in on it. Case in point - the Bond series. I love Sean Connery. I think he's the sexiest Bond. But I prefer Roger Moore, because Roger Moore's Bond was just...fun. Moore had the same smirk as Connery, but where Connery was suave, Moore could make it sexy and funny at the same time.

  • July 27, 2002, 2:37 a.m. CST

    Bond treating women as toys.

    by superninja

    I agree that Mori is comparing apples and oranges. Austin Powers is a spoof of the spy movie genre. He's an emasculated version of Bond and his rip-offs. He's overtly sexual, but his whole schtick makes fun of men. He's extremely hairy, he has a Swedish penis-pump and he's horny with a child-like view of relating to women. Either he wants to shag them, or he doesn't. He is making fun of male stereotypes. Which is what makes Austin Powers funny.***Does Bond consider women as toys? Absolutely. There's nothing wrong with that. It's a part of his characterization. He's a spy who loved once and his wife was killed, and he doesn't want to live it over again. DONE. I don't want to see a "sensitive" PC version of Bond. Which is why Bond will never work properly in our time. We're either too sarcastic or too sensitive. The idea of James Bond requires neither. The real James Bond doesn't make sense to the current social climate, which is why we get these crappy movies, waiting for a return to what Bond is all about.

  • July 27, 2002, 3:54 a.m. CST

    Best of the trilogy so far

    by turk128

    The pacing was the worst of all three but it is the funniest: there were more laugh out load moments in this than the previuos two combined. The cameos almost stole the show and Beyonce was especially sizzling. Most important, it doesn't take itself seriously and it hasn't become a self parody. I can't wait for more sequels but I'm not sure how they will accomplish this without Dr. Evil.

  • July 27, 2002, 4:32 a.m. CST

    Island of Dr. Moreau

    by Vern

    Look man, I'm a red blooded american. I love Mini-Me as much as the next guy. He made the second Austin Powers movie. I also liked him in this third one. And I didn't like the picture as much as Moriarty but I did laugh. I mean you gotta respect a movie that has a whole scene based on subtitles not being readable when there are white objects on the screen. BUT, none of this changes the fact that the late Mr. Frankenheimer's ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU is not in any way horrible. In fact, and believe me when I say this because I am an award winning film Writer, one of the most underrated pictures of the '90s. This is the movie that invented the concept of the Mini-Me and it is even funnier/creepier there, especially in the scene where Brando interupts his speech about his grand plan to combine humans with animals genetically to tell the little guy to keep his feet off the dinner table. And as funny as Mike Meyers is in about 50-75% of his screen time, Brando's (admittedly shorter) performance in Dr. Moreau is brilliant and hilarious all the way through. IN SUMMARY, I demand that Moriarty watch ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU again and tell me, to my face, that Marlon Brando's performance was not a work of pure genius, and in a non-ironic way. YOU CAN'T DO IT, Morry. You're too smart.

  • July 27, 2002, 5:16 a.m. CST

    Moriarty... why are you and Harry in a 69 position? Honestly...

    by TheGinger Twit

    huh?

  • July 27, 2002, 9:52 a.m. CST

    where do you get off saying Waynes World 2 is no good?

    by Crazy Fresh DJ

    It's fucking hilarious. that roadie is a classic- 'so I had to beat him and his son to death.... with a pair of their own shoes...' and if someone says I misquoted that bit then blow me

  • July 27, 2002, 12:33 p.m. CST

    Gold Digger

    by Jerkass

    What a poor effort. This moive is all over the map (liiterally and fig) Loved the 1st 2 AP's but this one is a sad joke about it's own sad self. the Glodmember charactrer is totally unfunny. Still can't figure out why Fat Bastard's in it, and what mad AP2 so funny was Dr. Evil. He barely evokes a laugh in this one.

  • July 27, 2002, 5:12 p.m. CST

    Heather Graham

    by Billy Talent

    Am I the only one who remembers the lovely Ms. Graham in the classic 1988 Corey-fest 'License to Drive'? Probably. Fuckin' awesome movie.

  • July 27, 2002, 7:15 p.m. CST

    dumb, but i laughed my arse off

    by noteboom

    Yes, everyone is spot on with the criticisms of Goldmember, the retreads, Caine's useless character, and the aimless plot. But there are SO many gut busting, burst out loud gags in this movie that I laughed all the way through and never got bored. This is indeed a kitchen sink movie (series), but when trying everything possible to get a chuckle, many of them are bound to work. Hey, they can't all be gems , folks, but the ones that make it make it work. I can't remember the last time I laughed as hard as the Austin/Mini Me fight scene. Friggin' cool.

  • July 27, 2002, 10:09 p.m. CST

    Goldmember is worth its weight in gold!

    by CoolDan989

    This movie is absolutley, positvely, flat-out HILARIOUS. I laughed so hard and so often during the movie that I was covered with sweat at the end. While the opening is witty, clever, and jam packed with funny cameos, it wasn't as hilarious as all the reviewers made it out to be. But the rest of the movie made up for it and then some. While it's true that this movie does borrow some jokes from the first two movies (i.e. the misleading shadows, and the "word chains"), it replenishes them and makes them even more funny, a rarity in a comedy franchise. It's not ripping off the movies, it's being faithful to them. And there are plenty of brand new gags that are funny and original, when all the while, the Austin Powers franchise never loses its famous irreverence. And if you're a fan of Mini-Me, you're in luck: he has a much larger role in this movie, and often steals the show (especially when he becomes Mini Austin Powers). So in short, SEE THIS MOVIE. It is one the funniest movies I have ever seen, and is soon to be one of yours too.

  • July 27, 2002, 11:03 p.m. CST

    My 2 cents

    by Bad Guy

    Saw it tonight in a packed theater. And in spite of myself, I laughed quite a bit. There are moments that are hilarious and as funny or funnier than anything in the first two movies. The cameos are great, the opening is not to be missed. Yes, there are some groaners, but the other AP movies had them too. I don't know if this flick will age well or not, but I enjoyed most of it while I was watching it. Call it a guilty pleasure.

  • July 28, 2002, 1:35 a.m. CST

    uh, that WAS Wagner's voice

    by treadwell

    All of the "young" versions of the characters were dubbed by their older counterparts.

  • July 28, 2002, 3:05 a.m. CST

    Quite possibly the funniest movie ever made

    by bastard_guy180

    Don't you people even try to go there. This movie works because it has evolved! Watch the first powers then jump to Goldmember, you'll be flabbergasted, this movie is outrageous ridiculous but downright funny as hell. Mike Myers is hysterical, all these movies have been hysterical (and even if you've watched them out they still make you smile) And I cant remember the last tim I've laughed so hard. JUST LEAVE YOUR BRAIN AT THE DOOR AND ENJOY, CAUSE THIS ONE IS PURE MYERS, and its very groovy

  • July 28, 2002, 6:43 a.m. CST

    Thanks ever so much Ashok...

    by cozmicmonkeychow

    ...for sharing your thoughts with the rest of the world. Your rant was ever so enlightening. Now would you kindly stick your head back into your bum and go away? Pompus wanker...

  • July 28, 2002, 8:48 a.m. CST

    Ashok...

    by CoolDan989

    Your opinion hasn't made us be ashamed of ourselves for thinking this movie is funny, but instead has shown us that you just can't enjoy a fun and irreverent comedy now and then. All you have to do to enjoy this movie, Ashok, is to just forget how mature you may be and roll with the jokes. If you are incapable of doing that, then you have no right to talk about this movie, because you haven't really seen it. And that's because you just don't understand it. Just pop Dangerous Liaisons in your VCR again and stop attacking us for being able to have a good time at the movies.

  • July 28, 2002, 1:04 p.m. CST

    Seriously

    by bastard_guy180

    You nalied it Dan

  • Well, I think that was the funniest Austin Powers yet. Whatever that's worth. Sure, there are a good number of parts that fall pretty flat, the ending is weak...but does anyone really care that much about this franchise? It's sole purpose is to make people laugh...and it was doing that pretty well at the sold-out showing that I attended. There were a great number of scenes that had the people rolling in the aisles. I could not believe how loud the laughter was during the water fountain, medical examination, Austin vs. Mini-Me scenes. The only thing that would have made the film a bigger crowd-pleaser would have been a strong gag to finish off the movie. Anyways, when all is said and done, it's just a low-brow comedy. Anyone who talks about great satire in the first Austin Powers is like the Star Wars geeks who write thesis papers about the philosophical implications of different colored lightsabers. You know, when George just probably said to himself, "Hey, red is an evil-looking color!" So, to sum it all up, Austin Powers 3 isn't exactly what I'd call a good movie, but it got the biggest reaction I've seen for a comedy since the first Scary Movie. A hundred times the laughter that Undercover Brother got, and I'm not exaggerating. When you're comparing stupid comedies, audience reaction is probably the best standard. One further note: it was nice to see The Two Towers trailer elicit cheers from the audience especially after all the other trailers were greeted with stony silence (Simone looks alright, but I Spy, The Tuxedo, Reese Witherspoon flick, etc...all looked terrible).

  • July 28, 2002, 4:13 p.m. CST

    Simon Trailer Soundtrack

    by Harami

    This is a little off topic but does anyone know the name of the song playing in the Simone trailer. Ive been humming it ever since and it definitely sounds familiar. I personally thought it fit the trailer perfectly and made me want to see the film more. Not to mention Simone herself looks HOT (even if she is fake). As far as AP3 went, I enjoyed it a lot. short review: better than the second(easily) but maybe a little worse than the first (even though it comes very close).

  • July 28, 2002, 5:10 p.m. CST

    Hulk Used To Think Talkbakers Crazy!

    by Der Hulk

    ...but now Hulk clearly see your nuts. (a thank yyyoouuu.) Hulk laugh so hard at Goldmember that Hulk choke on fistful of Goobers and miss Britney cameo! Luckily, Hank Pym give Hulk Heimlich maneuver at last minute.

  • July 28, 2002, 7:20 p.m. CST

    Just sos you know, Ashok...

    by CoolDan989

    I moderatley enjoyed Men In Black 2 and I didn't see Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood and have no plans to. And by the way, I think your pledging to only see serious, meaningful movies is truly sad, because it means that you just won't allow yourself to have a little fun like everybody else. I bet you were the lonely child, hunched over book after book in the library as a kid, when all the other kids in town weren't afraid to enjoy themselves once in a while. I'm not saying you should spring for every popcorn flick that comes out, and I'm not saying that meaningful movies are bad, I'm just saying you should keep an open mind. Trust me, it will do you a world of good.

  • July 28, 2002, 7:51 p.m. CST

    AP2 thoughts

    by TomVee

    Dr. Evil was funnier and had more to do in AP2, which was almost as good as the original. However, Fat Bastard was a very big mistake and the thought that this character has even one second of screen time in AP3 will keep me from even renting this one.

  • July 28, 2002, 7:56 p.m. CST

    Austin vs. The Angel of Death

    by wasp

    Road to Perdition truly isn't all that. I mean, there are many things I admire about that film -- namely, the cinematography. But there isn't really anything special about the plot, performances, the dialogue is downright uninspired...and the end, ugh. SPOILER The boy's voiceover is lame to the nth degree. He SHOULD have shot Jude Law. Tom Hanks SHOULD have died as a direct result of his going back to get revenge. Instead, the ending tries very hard to pretend greatness. "I just tell them ... he was my father." Well, hose me down, a bucket of sap has just been dumped on me. END SPOILER That said, I didn't hate Road to Perdition. I sort of liked it, even if it did feel a little dramatically vacuous, it was well-crafted. Austin Powers is a stupid low-brow comedy, but it was a pretty effective one judging by the way that the audience at my showing reacted. So, yeah, definitely not a movie I would add to my collection, but neither is Road to Perdition. Sure, one movie is serious, and the other is irreverent comedy. But that doesn't necessarily make the serious movie the more intelligent or the more important or the more "real" film. Thinking carefully about the script and story for Road to Perdition, aside from the execution, I don't really see why any halfway decent screenwriter couldn't have written that movie. I'd rather just watch Miller's Crossing again. Well, this is mostly just opinion, I suppose.

  • July 28, 2002, 8:29 p.m. CST

    Tom Vee

    by Drop Johnson

    Yeah, if you didn't like FB in #2 then stay faaarrrr away from #3. I completely love the character of Fat Bastard.. (perhaps I'm just a sucker for Myers' Sco'ish brogue routine) .. but even I got pretty grossed out at FB's closing gag in the movie. His neck.. dear sweet Lord, his neck! Aaaaaaagggghhh. Hypnotically horrifying.

  • July 28, 2002, 8:39 p.m. CST

    MOREAU-SE

    by TomVee

    For VERN: Of the most recent MOREAU, it is pretty clear Brando and Kilmer were not taking the movie seriously. It is also clear Brando was probably paid a lot of money for maybe 20 minutes worth of screen time. His Moreau is killed off halfway through when in the book he wasn't done in until the end. He surely contracted for this to be the case. Why Brando and Kilmer could not take the movie seriously is of course best known to them. Perhaps it was the director, perhaps it was the script. Perhaps they had just seen the Charles Laughton and Burt Lancaster versions and realized there was no need for a second remake. Still, the movie has its moments, especially the piano scene. My youngest, who is 13, adores this movie for some reason. I think it's like watching a train wreck -- I have nothing against watching a train wreck, by the way. It is not as phenomenally bad as DUNE, but it's close.

  • July 28, 2002, 8:42 p.m. CST

    AU3 IS THE WORST MOVIE I HAVE SEEN THIS YEAR SO FAR

    by thetruthman

    The first two were very funny and original. But this one has no original jokes whatsoever and mainly because of that the movie is completely not funny. In addition to that the movie has a much worse directing, writing and acting than the first two. I don't know what has happened to Hollywood since 1999 ended because the quality of movies has been worse every single year since then. It is as if all the filmakers have suddenly lost all the talent, creativity, ambition and respect for the audience.

  • July 28, 2002, 10:29 p.m. CST

    HORRIBLE!

    by soybomb2

    Man this movie sucked! I can't say much more really. The jokes were either tiolet humor (sigh) or jokes from the other movies that are so old now.Then all this pop culture bullsh!t was put in there too. Didn't help at all. Hope they don't make another one.

  • July 29, 2002, 2:02 a.m. CST

    pffff

    by bastard_guy180

    I agree with Dan, get a life Ashok. People like you shouldn't go to see movies that try to make others laugh because there's no satisfying people like you, to deny how funny that movie really was is a crying shame, im going to see it for a third time tommorrow and I NEVER do that, trust people its even better the second time... sorta like chinese food you get hungry for it again a couple minutes after leaving. Oh and Tom Vee your obviously overweight, nothing wrong with that but dont diss fat bastard... He did have purpose to the plot and made me laugh hard... Just wish there were more baby eating jokes because thats what made him so off color in the 1st place... anyway he still payed his dues. Mike's dangerously funny.

  • July 29, 2002, 2:44 a.m. CST

    The Island of TomVee

    by Vern

    Thanks for your talkback there bud. Well there are alot of reasons why Val and Marlon may not have taken their roles seriously. The movie was originally written by Richard Stanley, who wanted it to

  • July 29, 2002, 3:11 a.m. CST

    Oh my god was this movie awful.

    by Kabuki Man

    I actually agree with Harry for once, though it sickens me to say so. I really wanted to like Austin Powers third outing, but I just can't. It was awful. It was an incoherent, choppy, unfunny, mess. It seems as if there was no one to stand up against Mike Myers and say, "Man this is not funny! The opening was amusing. The whole Austin and the helicopter bit was hilarious. Foxy Cleopatra was fun with what little she was given. Same goes for Michael Caine. They could have axed Fat Bastard and Goldmember completely. Not funny, It would have helped. There are too many characters vying for screen time in this movie. Unfortunatley Myers characters wins out. Fat Bastard. The vagina thing....shutter. Not funny. Gold Member. Skin eating not funny. Dr. Evil. Suprisingly not funny. Just weird and lame. I actually wish there was more of Austin this time around. 92% of this movie is about unwatchable.

  • July 29, 2002, 6:14 a.m. CST

    I'm Duggie! I'm Duggie!

    by Celtican

    That opening is fantastic, especially the 3rd and 4th cameos which had me crying.

  • July 29, 2002, 6:41 a.m. CST

    Not quite as good as the first but better than the second

    by roctiv

    I saw it twice this weekend, both times in a huge, packed theater that rocked with laughter from beginning to end. The audience didn't seem to be laughing at the same things I was, though (I'm one of those people who actually found Goldmember amusing).

  • July 29, 2002, 8:59 a.m. CST

    shocked and appalled!

    by scottishbloke

    I just saw this movie on saturday, (it only opened here in blighty on friday). I throuroghly enjoyed this film and am frankly stunned by how negative so many people on AICN are being. The showing I went to was packed and rarely have i part of an audience enjoying themselves so immensley. The only way this would be my worst film of the year would be in I'd only seen Goldmember and Minority Report.

  • July 29, 2002, 1:01 p.m. CST

    People just want to hate.

    by Jaka

    I have NEVER seen a single minute of the first 2 AP films.-------- Saw this film Saturday night at the 95% full Grand Lake theater in Oakland, CA. The organ player (Grand Lake is an old movie palace and they still have an organ - this is a musical instrument I'm speaking of here - that rises out of the floor before the "prime time" shows in the main room)got a HUGE round of applause. The first trailer was LOTR:TTT (which got the SECOND huge round of applause), the second one was for Signs, then a new Dolby add (to me)with a Star Wars star field behind it, and the movie started. ------------- The beginning was awesome. I was obviously in a theater filled with people that DIDN'T know what was coming. The 2-gun-fly-over-the-helicopter got the 3rd round of applause, and as each of the four actors in the opeing had their names listed, you guessed it, more applause. Not so much for those actors, I think, but for the fact that they were in an Austin Powers film and obviously only making a cameo. The film itself; I laughed longer and harder than I have laughed in five years! And I will point out again that I have NEVER SEEN THE FIRST 2 FILMS! Forget all the negative reviews. Moriarty nailed it; if you like Mike Myers and his brand of comedy (I personally think So I Married An Axe Murderer is a VASTLY underated film), then you should enjoy this movie emensly. I had not cared to read any reviews before I went because I honestly did not expect to ever see this film either. But I read a bunch of them today and it really feels like people are just trying to tear down the success these people are having. What sucks the most about that is that ALL the people in this movie look like they are having a fuckin' blast (unlike say, MIBII). Give it a chance if you like this type of stuff and ignore all the shitty reviews. In the case of THIS FILM, they are just jealous.

  • July 29, 2002, 2:09 p.m. CST

    austin powers fans should check out these guys

    by JW Butterhook

    Austin powers fans and fans of 70's cop shows should check out these guys.. http://www.bluesmoke.org.uk/welcome.htm

  • July 29, 2002, 8:13 p.m. CST

    funny movie

    by Chris21

    Ok, now I wasn't that impressed with the first one. The best part was the beginning. As for the 2nd one, the scenes with Fat Bastard and the girl were great. The third one was the funniest of them all, especially the fountain scene.