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SCOOBY DOO Review
I decided to take my time seeing SCOOBY DOO, because I wanted to see it when I was most open to seeing it.
Ya see, for all the hate filled venom I’ve spat at and in the general direction of the live-action feature film version of SCOOBY DOO… I really didn’t want to hate it. You see, nothing would please me more than to sing the praises of a live action SCOOBY DOO, and I wouldn’t give two shakes of the Care Stick if the rest of the world hated it, so long as I could look at the film and see a bit of the cartoon that I love up on that screen.
Why today?
Well, I woke up bright and early… automatically a sign of the apocalypse. For a fella that usually calls 3pm: RISE & SHINE, waking at 10am was something on the bizarre side right off. Papa Geek was not manning BAN CENTRAL at Geek Headquarters, so I picked up the tin can, gave two tugs of the string in the general direction of Sister Satan’s Hovel of Doom, and sure nuff, Papa San was there.
A mere 30 minutes later Father Geek, Sister Satan and Kublakhan were over here and we were spending a Knowlesian Sunday talking about rare suspense films available on DVD. Kublakhan was running around and at one point he picked up my Scooby Doo fuzzy Phone and Address book and asked me, “Scooby Doo?” That was the first time the thought, “I wonder what Kubla would think of SCOOBY DOO,” entered my head. I mentioned the possibility to Sister Satan, she felt Father Geek would just as well kiss a wookie than see SCOOBY DOO, but agreed that Kublakhan would probably get into it. We decided to bring it up with Pops during lunch.
After lunch I get into Kirby (that’s our car) and the ancient one brings up that Sister Satan said I had suggested taking Kubla to a movie, I said, “SCOOBY DOO” and his face actually registered an ol fist to the stomach, but he said, “OK, when and where?”
Given that the movie started in 22 minutes and we were 6 minutes from the theater, everything was going smoothly. We got our Kublakhan bribes, our second row seats and a booster chair for Sister Satan.
The theater had a decent crowd, mainly families with smaller children. That’s the right crowd. I hoped most of them bought tickets for other films, like I did, but somehow I think they all actually sent money to this movie – whereas mine was headed for REIGN OF FIRE. Hehehehehe
As the trailers played, the audience seemed most receptive to the SPY KIDS 2 trailer and oddly enough the awful MASTER OF DISGUISE trailer – though the turtle man gag is a gas… the first time I saw it anyways… My nephew was most captivated by the talking bear trailer and STUART LITTLE 2 trailer. But he’s 2 years old, what does he know?
SCOOBY DOO starts and instantly… it registers distaste. That terrible remix of the classic Scooby theme was instantly revolting. However, as we move to the WOW-O Toy Factory and the jumping floating ghost case… I sat back and decided to attempt to let this film have a chance at being something quasi-non-sucky.
Ok, from the get go… Daphne in peril – ok. Velma has a plan – good. Fred – what the fuck is up with Fred? Dear God, smite the infidel. It is astonishing when 2-dimensional Hanna Barbara limited animation can give a character more depth and soul than a human being… of course, nobody has ever accused Freddie Prinze as being a human being. Meanwhile, where’s Shaggy and Scooby? Ah, the barrel… the trembling barrel. Ah, Scooby’s tail!
Now it was at this point that Velma begins to actually explain the plan out loud for no other reason than to illustrate how a perfectly conceived master plan will fall apart when implemented depending upon the actions of Scooby and Shaggy.
As the Ghost does the flaming barrel number, and Scooby first appears on camera, I am at first disturbed by his CG appearance, but heh… close enough. Then Lillard’s masterful appearance as Shaggy ensues. That’s right, I’m gonna praise Lillard to the seven pillars of heaven for his nailing of Shaggy. It isn’t just the voice, it’s the expressions, mannerisms, body language, excitement and registering of subtle love for Scooby Doo. Every moment that is Shaggy and Scooby on screen – WITHOUT THE GIRL THAT HE ALLEGEDLY IS ENAMORED WITH – is absolute gold. The timing of their gags, the back and forth between them… Even that burping and farting contest, which I wanted to hate later in the film, somehow worked for me.
If anyone, other than Lillard and the team that brought Scooby to life gave even the slightest bit of care about being in this movie, then maybe it could have worked. Lillard and Scooby were in a FOUR STAR adaptation of the cartoon.
EVERYBODY ELSE was in the INSPECTOR GADGET movie. Freddie Prinze Jr… Should be roasted alive for reality television. He literally sucked the shorthairs from Gary Coleman’s scrotum. I mean he was bad, his character was bad, his mere presence on screen was horrendous.
First off, Fred as a character is not supposed to be some self-absorbed ass. He isn’t supposed to think he’s the most gorgeous thing in the world. He absolutely is not obsessed with beautiful anorexic women. Fred is the co-leader of the gang. He’s the glue that holds them all together. It’s his and Daphne and Velma’s shared love of the unknown and the mysteries of life that bind Mystery Inc as a cohesive group.
You see, take a look at when SCOOBY DOO was created by Hanna Barbara. 1969. What were they? Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy and Scooby were a team of young out-going college age kids that hit the road to uncover the schemes of evil doers. Now usually these evil doers were up to land grabbing, treasure stealing no good. Usually they were someone in the establishment. Someone in power, and only these young pesky kids that would stick their nose into the business of the establishment and actually question authority would reveal that THEY… THE MAN… THE OLDER PEOPLE were out to suppress and scare and cajole the rest of us into their evil schemes.
Now, along comes this movie. Now at a surface level, the idea of a theme park built around the concept of SCARING YOU to bring in the ‘alternative kids’ of the world to brainwash and spit out as Boy Band Loving Bastards of Materialism plays right into this established history of SCOOBY DOO anti-establishment work. However, the ultimate unmasking being a joke bad guy… well is utter and complete bullshit. Having SCRAPPY DOO be the bad guy was utterly retarded. Only a complete numbskull could actually have that be the bad guy. It stands against everything that Mystery Inc fights against.
Scrappy Doo isn’t the establishment, he’s a tool of the establishment, but see… they don’t tie it in like that. Scrappy Doo was forced by marketers down our throats to peddle to the lowest common denominator. Everything having to do with Scrappy Doo in this filt.. film was awful. Even worse than Freddie Prinze Jr and Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Scrappy Doo was ass.
Linda Cardellini’s Velma is almost where it needed to be. The problem was giving her some sort of bullshit sense of inadequacy was stupid. Velma didn’t care about boys or girls. Velma cared about the mystery. About getting to the bottom of what is going on, and upon figuring it out, getting the gang through the mystery safely. Linda did an admirable job with very badly written material. She was indeed hot as Velma, but for all the wrong reasons. Giving Velma cleavage is the wrong way to make her hot, she was hot because she was a chick that loved getting down and dirty in the scary stuff. Not only that, but she was the one that figured it all out.
Sarah Michelle Gellar’s DAPHNE is an affront. I mean just terrible. First off, she isn’t a redhead, but that’s a nitpick. Second off, Daphne isn’t supposed to be a dumb blonde. She isn’t a helpless dumbshit. She’s supposed to love the mysteries so much and be so into them that she gets caught and used as bait. Making her self-aware is terrible, because you’ve turned her into Self Parody right from the get go.
There isn’t supposed to be anything between Daphne and Fred. Sex doesn’t play into the Gang, because BELIEVE IT OR NOT, the thing that binds them is the MYSTERY. That’s their common interest. Sort of like Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson. I’ve never heard anyone go off on any gay subtext in regards to Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson, it has always been about the love of the game. The game is afoot.
Had the filmmakers of this mediocre film watched YOUNG SHERLOCK HOLMES, they might have understood the right tone to play this film. Watch HARRY POTTER – they get it. The right way to play SCOOBY DOO and the gang is to have three serious folks solving a mystery, but with Shaggy and Scooby along for the ride.
The mystery should be legitimately hard to figure out. Daphne, Fred and Velma work as a team to figure it out, while Shaggy and Scooby stumble through life sent on errands that food and goofing off always… ALWAYS GETS IN THE WAY OF.
Now, Shaggy would never fall for a girl, unless… UNLESS SHE COULD COOK. But even then, he wouldn’t care, because no chick could cook like he could. Because Shaggy was the master of the Contrary Meal, and when Shaggy and Scooby are on that beach cooking Eggplant Burgers doused in Chocolate sauce… Sublime joy. That’s it. Bam! Nailed. EXACTOMUNDO. At the end, when they’re eating nuclear hot peppers… AGAIN EXACTOMUNDO.
James Gunn got Shaggy and Scooby. James Gunn gets juvenile idiot humor. The problem was, James Gunn’s one note act of idiot humor being transferred over to every single character in the film made the film ONE STUPID JOKE FOR THE ENTIRE FILM, and turned this film into SELF PARODY which is always… ALWAYS A BAD WAY TO GO, unless the material you are dealing with was so horrible originally that you had no where else to go… i.e., THE BRADY BUNCH MOVIE. But that isn’t SCOOBY DOO.
So to wrap this all up.
How bad is SCOOBY DOO? It is mediocre with the bright spots coming from Lillard and Scooby. And the abject horribleness coming from Gellar, Prinze and Scrappy. The production design looking like a bizarre theme park, well it was a bizarre theme park, so that worked. First thing I would do if working on a sequel is develop a plot that involved Velma, Fred and Daphne being Kidnapped – and Shaggy and Scooby having to solve the mystery, save their friends and fight temptation to just blow it off and eat.
To end this properly, Matt Lillard proved that I can be wrong some of the time, something I believe we all knew was possible. HOWEVER, thanks to the absolute vacuum of talent that is Freddie Prinze Jr… I was proven dead on right. And due to Raja Gosnell’s cardboard direction of James Gunn’s terrible script, my overall assessment that this was going to be a pretty bad movie was right, but Lillard and Scooby did in fact make it a mildly amusing waste of money.
I was not angry at my time spent watching the film, nor was I happy. Instead there was a feeling of great disappointment. 1. Because the film wasn’t the train wreck that I was anticipating. 2. Because the film wasn’t the wonderful SCOOBY DOO movie that I know that Scooby Doo can be turned into.
This is just mediocrity defined.
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.. not because they didn't suck as bad as I wanted them too. Anyway nice review Harry, I'm glad to see you can admit you're wrong; also I tend to believe that you're right about this POS =)
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and I'll pay $55.00 to see it on pay-per-view. Otherwise, this movie, and lengthy review, are a waste of everyone's time.
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Yeah.
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...much better than the cartoon girlfriend they gave him in "SD and the Alien Invaders".
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Hey let's all thank god that Scrappy Doo wasn't in it
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Hello.
I came on and saw this review, and figured I leave a post about how I liked this review of Harry's. But Lo and behold....
Anyway, I have to again thank Harry for another good review. It was honest, and for the most part pretty spot-on. (Although I am getting tired of constant crucification of Freddie Prinze Jr.. Granted he is a terrible actor, but we GET IT ALREADY!) Any ways, keep it up, and I hope you continue getting better with the reviews.
Thanx,
ChikeX -
I haven't seen the flick myself, nor do I have plans to. But I am a *huge* Rowan Atkinson fan - don't care for Bean, but Blackadder rules and he did a great turn in Rat Race last year...and The Tall Guy; Rowan's great in The Tall Guy. I know he probably doesn't the save the film, but you made no mention of him whatsoever. Does he do anything in SD that a fan like myself *might* appreciate?
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This is coming from the guy who loved Undercover Brother, Scooby must really suck
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In regards to your question, Rowan Atkinson (to me anyway) had absolutely no funny lines in this movie. I don't even think he was supposed to be funny. If he was I sure as hell missed it (and I thought he was entertaining in Rat Race). Harry's review is dead on. Scooby and Shaggy were great, the rest, lame. Although I do admit the visuals were fairly good. The big "dogs" (so not to spoil it) reminded me of something but I can't place my finger on it..... Was it "Twilight Zone the Movie"? Was there a "dog" like that in there somewhere? Maybe where the kid had the power to do what he wanted... Oh well I can't remember. Out here.
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Okay, granted, I didn't think this movie was very *good*. I wouldn't really reccomend it to anyone, although seeing it at the drive-in, I didn't really feel cheated. But bashing the movie because it was some kind of half-desecration of... Scooby Doo, the godawful cartoon series? There are a lot of reviewers who would fault this movie for existing at all; for being a movie of a bad cartoon series. I wouldn't do that, I think that's silly and snobbish, but I think it's equally invalid to say, hey, the show was AMAZING, and this movie isn't, what gives! I mean, come ON. I know I won't be the first to say this, but Scooby-Doo the cartoon is crap! Nostalgia for a show does not make it good. The animation was awful, the characters were repetitive and (yes) cardboard... it was mildly entertaining at best. Complaining about this movie not fulfilling the promise of a Scooby Doo movie is like saying the same thing about the Flintstones, another mediocre movie from an awful tv show... Hanna-Barbara just made really shitty cartoons. As movies from cartoons go, I'd say Scooby Doo was better than The Flinstones but not as inspired as Josie & the Pussycats (which I thought was criminally underrated). And reading Harry's review, I still don't really get why it was such an atrocity to use Scrappy as the villian. I thought that was pretty hilarious. Cheap laughs, I guess, but it's freaking SCOOBY DOO; the cartoon wasn't very funny, either. And I'm sorry, does Harry really think the mysteries on the cartoon series were like, actual mysteries? And/or difficult to solve? They just weren't. That.. is delusional. So what did I actually think of this movie? Eh. It wasn't very good, it could've been a lot more inspired, more creative... i'd fault it for failing to breath life into inspid characters, not for like, betraying their wonderful heritage. The self-referential stuff was mostly half-assed and lame(again, except the Scrappy stuff-- that made me laugh out loud, but maybe it was because I hadn't read all about it before hand), most of the performances were game (i have no love for prinze, but i also have no love for FRED FROM FREAKING SCOOBY DOO so I didn't really care about him in this movie one way or the other), with Matthew Lillard being especially good (of course, tons of people realized the kid was good from SLC PUNK, which Harry didn't care for. ah well), and the story was amusing but kinda blah. It was a passable drive-in movie. Doesn't deserve all the money it made, but hey, what does these days. It's just Scooby Doo. The cartoon blows, the movie was mediocre. I'd say that's a step up.
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...I have to say this: I think you're reading WAY too much into the "intricacies" of SD. Now, as a child, there was literally no bigger fan of SD than I (well, OK, maybe Harry was BIGGER, but...) SD shaped my love for all things atmospheric and spooky. Then, as a pre-teenager, I tried to watch it again...and I couldn't. Bad bad bad. The characters were so incredibly alike from one story to the next that it comes off an disingenious in the extreme to read that kind of subtext int othem. Ah well, just MHO. Also, Rowan Atkinson is barely there. That's not a criticism of his performance, I mean he's literally BARELY THERE. Practically no screen time. And while I agree the Freddie bashing gets a bot oput of hand, his version of Fred talking gansta style made me want to drink bleach. Yes, we need to quit bashing FPJ on this site in general, but in relation to this movie, too much ain't anough. I want to be Linda Cardinelli's love slave. Or rather, I wanna be VELMA'S love slave. And kudos to Lillard not only for nailing Shaggy, but willingly make himself look NASTY. The aformentioned scene of Fred talking hip sees Lillard/Shaggy taking on some downright unappealing (if humerous) faces. How many young, hot actors would willingly make themselves look skanky?
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...how many typos can one man have in a brief post? A whole bunch, apparently...sorry. Typed too damn fast.
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Harry, you must have been bored beyond imagination to see this dreck and then dignify it with a review!
We're still waiting for Joe's Episode 2 review! where is it? It wouldn't be a Star Wars movie without Joe! Bring him back!!! -
Man, looks like SOMEBODY needs to get LAID. I'm sorry to have to say this, but anyone who analyzes these shitty cartoons this much has some serious problems. This frightens me.
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Jul 14, 2002 9:03:31 PM CDT
THIS IS JACK BURTON TALKING: Harry was right all along
by jackburtonlives
harry was right all along. i was one of many talkbackers wondering what harry's personal vendetta against freddie prinze jr. was. what? did he steal your girl? what gives? but old jack has a confession to make. unlike 95% of the other talkbackers spewing out their supposed wisdom, old jack ACTUALLY SAW DOO 2 LAST NIGHT!!!! that's right. (i have a 3-year old daughter) AND HARRY WAS RIGHT... FREDDY PRINZE JR. HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GOING FOR HIM... HE IS AN EMPTY HOLE ON THE SCREEN. it's literally like watching money burn on the screen. someone is paying him to put on a blond wig and "attend" scenes where he does nothing but stand like a broom or a piece of furniture? i don't get it. but i do get harry, now. go on bashing freddie, harry, with a clear conscence. the man is vapid.
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one more thing... it's like i told my last wife, honey, i never drive faster than i can see and besides it's all in the reflexes... but anyway shaggy's voice in UNCANNILY SPOT ON. in fact, i remember quantico and some other talkbackers discussing the possibility that Tom Cruise and Keanu Reeves didn't do any martial arts at all: that it was just their faces CGIed onto the body of a chinese opera acrobat. well i would go a far as saying that shaggy's voice was CGVed over lillard's. (CGV: Computer Generated Voice) it was that uncanny. his voice, half breaking in strangled entreaties for scoobie snacks was uncannily like the original. months of intensive voice lessons? or CGV? you be the judge.
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...you are a dumb, dumb man.
and you have my pity. -
Jul 14, 2002 9:34:19 PM CDT
I tried but couldnt sit through this piece of garbage
by thingsthattimdog
I downloaded it, cause no way in hell i'd spend money on this movie. I tried to watch it with an open mind but about 2/3 the way through i had to shut the damn thing off. Its just terrible. Now Lilliard was great, so was the girl who played Velma. BUT, SMG and FP Jr. were absolutely terrible. I mean a whole new kinda bad. Worse than my cousins 5th grade school plays bad. Sarahs performance was so one note it was sad. Especially considering her great work in BTVS and Cruel Intentions. And Freddy...well Freddy was just Freddy so I cant really act to shocked there.
Avoid this movie like the plague and pray the producers fitting the bill for the next 20 sequels all go down on a plane. -
For someone who prides himself on his knowledge of films, Harry really blew it with this one. Billy Wilder's "The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes" devotes about five minutes of screen time to the possibility that Holmes, at least, is gay even if Watson isn't. There've also been numerous jokes about this going back to the 50s and 60s. To say that there isn't any gay subtext in the Holmes stories and films is at the very least ingenuous.
As for the movie itself...that anyone could think, even for a moment, that a live action film based on a mediocre, one-plot Hanna Barbera cartoon would be good, is ludicrous. What comes next, the live action version of Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels? Maybe an all CGI Three Mouseketeers? Oddi Collodi the True Blue Skunk recast as a gritty vehicle for Quentin Tarantino?
*sigh* If any cartoon should be made into a live action movie, it's something like Justice League or, God help us, Gargoyles. At least those two were about something other than being chased by rubber monsters while making thinly-veiled drug references. -
I believe Holmes and Watson were gay in a Billy Wilder film.
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uhh... i was joking. there is no such thing as CVG. and try to spell my name right when you slag me off too. calling me dumb and spelling my name wrong just doesn't help your case at all, dude.
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Jul 14, 2002 9:54:09 PM CDT
Harry, if you remember "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back".....
by lady_hyde
Fred IS a dick in a neckerchief. And I don't mean detective. Besides, the flatulence contest scene is better than the whole of the "Crocodile Hunter" movie.
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He's right about everything. But I liked the movie anyway. I actually paid twice to see Shaggy, Scooby and Velma. The rest was crap.
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Jul 14, 2002 10:02:47 PM CDT
Have any of you been looking at the current box office. It'
by scorpio2nd
I haven't seen the film so i can't really comment but, yeah, where is that Freddie Piss Jr. dude. I know he's here, i can smell him (unfortunatley).
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Why even bother with the review at this point? The damage done to the retinas of literally millions of parents being forced to watch this has been done. *** I'd like to add my voice to the great silent majority of AICNers out there to the opinion that Scooby Doo, as a cartoon, was always mediocre at best and a poster boy with what was wrong with American animation in the 70s and early 80s at worst. To expect anything other than the forgettable from this movie was a bit foolhardy, Harry. As for me, I don't even need to see the movie to know that my time at the local Giganto-plex is better spent watching something else, like the touching Road to Perdition, or even something as equally forgettable but still somewhat enjoyable, like Men in Black II. Hell, if you need to see a cartoon-based movie this week, watch The Powerpuff Girls. Just don't bother with Scooby Doo. Don't even rent it on video.
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Right on, Harry. I feel the same way about the film. But you finally saw the film because a child that you love wanted to see it. I've suffered through some goofy-ass movies in the past few years because my kids wanted to see them - and just like with this movie - the thing that makes it tolerable each and every time is the fact that I'm in the movie theatre watching my daughter fall in love with movies - not just Scooby Doo but with Beauty and the Beast and the Powerpuff Girls, etc. Not every movie is made for 30-something year old men - some movies are for kids. Since seeing that movie, each night before bed, my daughter asks me to tell her the story about Scooby and Spooky Island. This movie was made for her, not for me, and for that reason I think Scooby Doo rocks.
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Come on Harry, Have a little integrity. If you're going to go see a movie, at least buy a ticket for the right one. You are now a film critic that steals from one studio and funnels it to another. How is that for selling out? To top it off, you stealing from WB and sending it to Disney.
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come on guys, it's obvious this film was just too sophisticated for the viewing public. sure, the storyline was crafted and aimed at a CHILD or KINDERGARTEN audience, and that is what is being mercilessly attacked here, BUT THERE WAS ALSO CLEARLY A METATEXT here. yes, a meta-text, a level of meaning ABOVE and BEYOND the seemingly childlike and juvenile humor. the shaggy/fred dichotomy was obviously a reflection of epic tragedy in which HUBRIS (Fred) met his NEMESIS in a FALSTAFFian character (epitomized by shaggy and scooby). the references to this are too numerous to mention in this short message.
and, like all shakespearean drama, fred showed that the surface causal events underpinning the plot had brought about a spiritual change in FRED. his hubris gone, he gracefully DEMURRED to VELMA (the ANIMA figure a la JUNG), proving that the "adventure" was acutally a psychic one (the whole plotline was about the "souls" of the characters being trapped: is the metatext STARTING TO COME CLEAR TO SOME OF YOU YET???) and not a purely physical one.
Doo 2 will be studied in Eng 101 years from now alongside Hamlet. For those of you who "don't get it", who "couldn't sit through it", probably failed first year english too. -
Jul 14, 2002 10:44:38 PM CDT
Harry you rule at narrowing down how awful this movie adaption i
by screenplaywriter
Cartoons should be left alone as cartoons. Television shows should be left alone as television shows. It is a code of life that should not be tried, or toiled with. At first I thought I would have an interest in seeing this when the first trailer came out, then reading the reviews of how they went above and beyond on making this "their own vision" I thought "Nah, wait till DVD and video to see this." The problem is Freddie Prinze Jr. is and always will be a bad actor, Sarah Michelle Gellar is a bad choice for Daphne, and what was up with claiming Scrappy Doo was EVIL? Why didn't they take the idea of "Scooby Doo on Zombie Island" and do that idea? It's the exact same movie only with two bad actors and Mr. Bean in it. Scrappy Doo was not evil, sure he was annoying and irritating at times, but he was Scooby's nephew. He was a part of the Doo family. Why make Fred a pompous, Carson-Daly-look-alike ass? Fred was cool, hip, but was a born leader to make sure the group would stay as a team and catch the bad guy in the end. Also, Velma was not gay. How the hell could she be gay? She just wasn't that too interested in the guys around her that's all. In the cartoon made-to-video movies you see she is straight because she likes a detective, or falls in love with a writer who suddenly turns bad. How could she be a bisexual, or a lesbian? Whatever the director was smoking surely screwed up this movie adaption of a Hanna Barbera cartoon. "The Flintstones" was an entertaining romp the first two times, but they did that well. "Josie and the Pussycats" was funny because they had good actresses who looked and sound and act like the characters, but this "Scooby Doo" is a "Crappy Crappy Doo!"
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http://us.imdb.com/EGallery?source=granitz&group=1442&photo=LindaCarde_Grani_483726_400.jpg&path=pgallery&path_key=Cardellini,+Linda
That girl is fiiiiiiigh-ine!!! -
Jesus Christ, you're so self-absorbed with yourself and your gay opinions that you rarely consider others. You stink, fat man.
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Jul 14, 2002 11:28:54 PM CDT
ThirdEyeBitch, chill and relish in the glorious magnificence of
by iamjack'suserid
She can FEED SCARVES TO MY HULK DOGS anyday
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the residual payoffs... that's right, the lunchboxes, the BallBuster Video, the rights for the t-shirts, the action figures, etc. etc.
freddie might even have a stake in this. so his cash flow for walking around for 2 hours like an animated mannequin will feed his cocaine bills into the next millenium. while you and i bitch about how bad Doo 2 is, freddie will be laughing his gloating face all the way to the bank, rubbing thousands of dollars into the genitalia of $1,000 a night escorts, probablyl in threesomes with charlie sheen and harry.
and don't be fooled by any US$76 million figure. it's easy to forget that a lot of these flicks make 70% of their cash abroad. purists from france and europe bemoan such tripe as Doo 2 and the making of sequels for Dungeons and Dragons 2, when in fact the rationale for making the sequels was the incredible box office take in Paris, Milan and Hong Kong.
face it my friend, we're doomed. freddie is laughing. and so is harry. it's bad enough freddie prinze jr. is actually making a living doing what's he doing, but HARRY IS ACTUALLY PAID AND MAKES A LIVING WRITING INSULTS ABOUT FREDDIE. i don't know which one hurts more... -
Jul 14, 2002 11:33:45 PM CDT
The original cartoon characterizations were considered too paper
by moriarity report
...Scooby Doo, like most classic childrens shows, worked in part because of its simplicity. But we don't live in that kind of world any more. We live in a world where Muppets get AIDS. Yes, the show had its themes, but they weren't overtly political and obvious. So portraying Fred and Daphne as being straight, WASPy nerds and Velma as being complacently prudish would have been out of the question to most people. These characters were basically, the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew. Innocent young people living in the crooked world of adults. But they had to turn Fred into a vain pretty boy dick, Daphne into a lampoon and Velma into a bisexual.
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okay, brain_bug is right that SD was a rather sh*tty cartoon, but I loved that cartoon. I agree that the best way to adapt it would have been to make the mystery more complex and leave the Fred/Daphne/Velma complexes alone. Yeahhhh, the gang solved mysteries with Scoob and Shag along for the ride. It could have been cool in a Haley Mills kind of Moonspinners way.
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[on his career choice] [Acting is] the only thing I'm good at. I know how to create and make people feel something. Honestly, if I didn't do this, I would just have some minimum-wage job in New Mexico, and I would go out on the weekends and make just enough money to pay my insurance and pay for a couple beers, and that would be it.
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i don't know how that one got by ol' jack. what's the rationale for that theory? and what's with the bizarre amount of velma cleavage during the second half of the flick? someone click in that the audience would have phased out by that point and made a last-ditch effort to glue eyes back to the screen??? a last-ditch effort all right. freddie probably has more cleavage, pound for pound.
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well nice to know that you got it out of the way.
at least you discovered Matt Lillard. -
Forget Scooby-Doo and Powerpuff!
Sunday nights on Cartoon Network has the most clever and funny cartoons around during their Adult Swim block:www.adultswim.com
The greatest cartoon show since South Park is Aqua Teen Hunger Force:www.athf.com
Check this site for the upcoming schedule:www.angelfire.com/tv2/adultswim/
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"To end this properly, Matt Lillard proved that I can be wrong some of the time, something I believe we all knew was possible." Um Harry? Judging by your fuck-all review of Reign Of Fire & Undercover Brother, I'd say your wrong all the time...
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For turning in a coherent and fairly well-written (albeit rather late)review. I really expected a sputtering outpouring of rightous indignation but I was pleasantly surprised. As for your points I have to say I agreed with pretty much all of it except I thought you were too harsh on Sarah Michelle Geller. She really wasn't that bad IMHO. And your hatred of Freddie Prinze Jr still comes across as over-the-top. But you were right on the money about everything else. This movie is indeed mediocrity incarnate. And to all you doubters out Harry is right about something else: the Scooby Doo cartoon kicks ass like few things before or after have kicked ass.
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Um, no he didn't.
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It's okay for Lucas to do weird things with 'Star Wars' because it's his, and it's okay if Jackson takes liberties with 'Lord of the Rings' because you're friendly, and Columbus can do whatever he likes with 'Harry Potter' because you haven't read the books, and of course Kubrick could do whatever he liked to Nabokov and King because he was Stanley Kubrick. But anyone messes one little hair on 'Scooby Doo's beautiful head... In the deathless words of Casey Kasem, "I don't understand it."
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Was in Paris at the weekend, and discovered that in France the Scooby Doo cast had some name changes to make them easier for French kids to pronounce. They are:
Fred, Daphne, Vera, Sammy (!) and Scooby.
Was also quite amused by the tag line for a new French female-led action film (a la Tomb Raider, Resident Evil etc etc) called Bloody Mallory. The tag line is 'Fuck Evil' - that is not a translation of the tag line from french, that is the tag line (as per French law, there is a translation of the English at the bottom of the poster in a footnote, rendered as 'Nique le diable' - 'Screw the devil'). Can't wait for it to come out here. If you don't believe me, go to this review site: http://www.tf1.fr/cinema/affiche/0,,909747,00.html
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Jul 15, 2002 3:02:51 AM CDT
I think Harry need to fuck Freddie Prince Jr. in the ass while s
by mr_dirk_diggler
We all know how you feel about Freddie, Harry. Relax man.
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Harry, I hope you realize that the only place these characters have the depths that you attribute to them is in your head. None of these intricacies appear in the writing or voices in those cartoons. You are taking something you loved from childhood and overanalyzing it to death. I have very fond memories of watching "Lost in Space", but I haven't built it up as some sort of grand allegory about youth vs the establishment. I think you need to back away from this subject a bit, and relax.
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Jul 15, 2002 9:43:34 AM CDT
It suddenly occurs to me why there's so much hatred for Fred
by moviet00l
It's not simply because "he's a bad actor" or "he's a talent vacuum." It's because he's a young, good-looking, successful guy who's into comic books and gets to sleep with Sarah Michelle Geller. You see, the screw in that previous sentence is "who's into comic books." Clearly, Freddy's got geek tendencies, and it seems to really rub some of us (and especially Harry) the wrong way that ANYONE who's into geekstuff should be (1) in shape. (2) good looking. (3) able to talk to and have sex with beautiful women. So there's got to be some sort of cosmic, karmic justice here, right? No geek should have the cards stacked in his favor like that, right? What could it be? Oh, yeah, he must have NO TALENT. That's the ticket. He CAN'T ACT. Isn't it obvious? I'll tell you what's obvious. It's obvious that although I wouldn't cast Freddy Prinze Jr. as Hamlet (or Captain America either, sorry Fred) he certainly HAS TALENT and CAN ACT. It's also obvious that geeks can get pretty petty sometimes, especially faced with one of their own who manages to PUT THE FATBURGER DOWN and GETS HIS ASS ON A STAIRMASTER every so often.
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You know. Perhaps you should check your big fat ass ego at the door when reviewing a film. It may be bad, but its also made for youngsters. I was looking forward to taking my little one to see this film. Gee. Now that I know how it ends, I get to be really bored for the two hours. Thanks prick.
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Harry, thanks for ruining the ending if I maybe wanted to catch it on video. Second, as someone who has come down on piracy issues because the people making the movie don't get paid, paying for one movie and going to another is similar in that the people who make the movie still don't get the money. Hypocrisy is a bitch, man.
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Glad to see you took the higher road on this one. It could have been ugly.
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Why hate a guy who never trips up A-list roles? He is ALWAYS IN SHITTY movies. It's not like he played Anakin, Neo or Aragorn and fucked those properties up. He sucks. I agree. But as long as you avoid movies like "Summer Catch" you won't have him as you're preferred voodoo doll. Scooby Doo never had a chance, btw. It's a movie that has no idea who to make it for: 30+ year olds? kids? teenagers? If they made it for our generation, they'd get roasted for being inappropriate for kids. For kids: They would bore the shit out of the 30+ audience member (like SWE1). Harry, write a "Bourne" review please.
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After reading everybody's comments I have to say I do agree that Scooby Doo was kind of a lame cartoon. I thought they were just trying to make a movie like the cartoon--which they still failed (except the aforementioned Lillard and CGI Scooby). Here's the real question. What cartoon to movie would be an awesome project? My vote is my all-time favorite cartoon growing up, which completely blew the shit out of any cartoon out there at the time--- StarBlazers, the 70's Japaneses Sci-FI cartoon (remember the old blue and red WWII Battleship that they converted into a spaceship?). Anyone agree? Out here.
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The answer is easy. Prinze couldn't act upset if he was being butt-f**ked by a splintery log. On fire. Hence he is hated because he has as much talent as a fish on a unicycle. P$
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Jul 15, 2002 12:55:31 PM CDT
Turkish, that line killed me. "...yet he hates your guts"
by shabba mcdoo
That was Goddamn priceless, man. As for the review, it wasn't so bad. We should've been reading it a month ago, but whatever. I don't REALLY understand Harry's hatred towards Freddie Prinze Jr., though. The guy isn't nearly as bad as Harry says he is. Shit, I even sense a touch of jealousy in Harry's damning, venom-spewing rants.
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Right on, buddy. Right on.
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Jul 15, 2002 1:07:27 PM CDT
Ok, I'm aiming for 3 posts in a row and I promise this will
by shabba mcdoo
"Matt Lillard proved that I can be wrong some of the time, something I believe we all knew was possible. HOWEVER...": Harry, I loved your review of Road to Perdition, and it opened my eyes to you and your world, but it's pretty damn hard to hang out on your side of the fence when you say shit like that little line up above. That quote is a prime example of why people call you a sell-out and...well, other bad things. You couldn't have just said "Well, folks, Matt Lillard proved me wrong" and ended it there, could you? You had to go on about how right you were and how your word is holier than now. It was just an incredibly fucking weak way to end a good review.
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Scooby Doo is a godsend of a movie. An utter masterpiece. Try and prove me wrong.
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Seriously, I'm glad Harry finally reviewed the film, for whatever reasons. I was starting to think he was being a hypocrite for refusing to see it after all the terrible things he said about it beforehand. Plus, I'm impressed with how calm and thought out his review was. Shows maturity.
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Why are you so beat up about Freddie Prinze Jr? I don't get it. Sure, Fred and Daphne's characters were screwed up, but Fred was actually kinda funny in a gimp sort of way, same for Daphne. I thought I was watching the wrong film when Scrappy turned out to be the bad guy. Shame. I think there is a little homosexuality in Harry's dislike of Freddie Prinze Jr though. I will soon know if I am banned and this post in deleted. ;-)
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Jul 15, 2002 3:02:17 PM CDT
Oh Great Raja Gosnell Has A Hit, This Don't Bode Well For Th
by the founder
I don't know if he's still attached to direct the live action FF movie, but him having a hit with Scobby Doo, just ups his clout. I hope he's still not attached.
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Jul 15, 2002 3:12:39 PM CDT
boy there sure are alot of punks on this TB bashing a cartoon th
by the killer-goat
Okay folks, I'm betting alot of you didn't grow up in the 60's or 70's when network animation and Hanna Barbera were still fresh, so likely most of you are dissing the cartoon because you had re-runs foisted upon you in-between smurfs and transformers, leaving you to grow up with power rangers or even dragonball Z. Well, that right there tells us the first problem: you all don't give 2 squats so maybe the execs should've considered who the hell they were actually making the film for. Why did Brady Bunch work (Harry's example)? They made fun of the show but the characters weren't self-aware, so the persistence of their personalities was unavoidable and they clashed with reality. At least they stayed committed, and everyone got a good laugh. But again, WHO were they making this Scooby Doo film for??? None of you guys seemed to like the cartoon in the first place, so that leaves folks old enough to have enjoyed the originals, or kids, right? Well, unfortunately, unlike Brady Bunch again, they didn't even retain the character's personalities from the cartoon or even throughout the damn movie, so it made no sense to call it Scooby Doo if all you kept were the images but changed the story. Doomed at the start. Harry was spot on about the original show's premise. It's all about the Mystery. No matter how campy or funky or whatever, I doubt alot of people were able to spot the villain in each or every episode. A good whodunnit. And yes, I was also a fan of the animated show, and the film is entirely about some OTHER group of people solving mysteries, not SD, like that stupid 13 ghosts of Scooby Doo spin-off.
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Jul 15, 2002 3:28:51 PM CDT
umm, by "good whodunnit" I didn't mean it was well-written..
by the killer-goat
but it was stil fun to guess and watch, and having a villain like Scrappy come completely out of nowhere just went against the standard formula of having all suspects introduced at some point. Why not just have Vincent Price pop out instead? Or (as someone else mentioned) Cher?
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Basically, "nique le diable" can be seen as a litreal translation of fuck evil, for "niquer" actually means "fuck". "screw" is just an altered soft translation of the real deal. If you don't believe, just use the word against a Frenc cop ;D
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First of all, terrible, the cartoon is the classic old monotonous show in which the situation is always the same, you only change to it the faces of the ghosts, monsters, etc.
Or..... it could be about the true meaning of the cartoon.
The group is a bunch of neohippieyuppie weed lovers travelling in a Cheech and Chong green van with a special double meaning name for it: Mistery MACHINE. The group gets frenzy and appasionated for some issues as the search for the unknown and misterious, as a result of the search for the meaning of life. Face it, Shaggy is the perfect example for the era the cartoon was made, of a pothead, analize it in depth, he speaks to his dog (and his dog speakes back) and he -
God, I loved SD before they made this movie and changed the characters and all the ideas in it. I don't want to know what this insane writer intends to put in the second part...
Mathew Lillard rocks, he saves the movie from total failure, Velma is qestionable, Daphne - spoiled rich bitch, Fred - no comment. I think FPJ would make really good movies somewhere in Finland but not in Hollywood.
Don't tell me the box office has ever had some importance for you. I think the SD movie made that money only because SMG made such a noise that somebody noticed her finally. She appeared almost everywhere, even in a movie by James Toback, who is a genius and I couldn't figure out why he chose her to do this. I was thrilled.
What the hell happened in Movieland? -
Who played Holmes in that SNL skit where he guessed all the presents he got for his birthday? I recall that the present Watson gave him was a teddy or other lingerie of some sort.
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I fell asleep half way through this movie. Partly because it was so awful but mostly because my friends and I smoked three blunts before seeing it. This was the kind of movie that called for large ammounts of marijuana to be smoked before entering the theatre. I've seen three movies based on Harry's reviews and every time I've wanted to get my 9 bucks back. However, I have to say he is exactly right about Scooby Doo. Shaggy and Scooby were the only reason to see this movie. They were awesome. The CG did annoy me at first but I got over it quickly. It would have been much cooler if they had done the movie in a Mary Poppins/Pete's Dragon style. As for the rest of the characters, I felt that writer had sat thinking for weeks about how to suck all fun from the TV show. Let's face it, the Scooby Doo TV show was not a great work of art but it was a fun show. My final evaluation, if you're thinking of seeing it wait for video and smoke four blunts and go into a coma.
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Her name was Irene Adler
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Jeremy Irons. Oh, the other thing I wanted to say was, why oh why do people assume what music you like just because you look or act a certain way? There is no law saying you can't love just ONE type of music. BSB and Orgy are part of my personal tastes, so there.
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Jul 15, 2002 9:24:26 PM CDT
THIS IS JACK BURTON TALKING TO END THE FREDDIE PRINZE JR. HARRY
by jackburtonlives
i think i can explain harry's frustrated, choked rage at this man. correct ol' jack if he's wrong, but at a press conference the subject apparently came up and freddie said something to the effect of, "Harry Knowles. Yes. He got where he is thanks to me. I made him what he is today". (i'm paraphrasing: those weren't the exact words, but something like that)
i think harry never fully got over that and is still fuming to this day. the truth hurts, hey harry? -
I thought so, but it's been a while since I've seen that bit. And you can listen to whatever you want. Tell em I said so.
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I do that quite often. Whenever I feel I'm going to see a bad film up front, I always send my money to a film that deserves it. Hey, I got guilty pleasures. But I sure ain't gonna pay for 'em. On that note, there ain't no amount short hairs on gary coleman's scrotum that could get me to go see this film. I'd rather see Halloween Resurection which also ain't gonna happen. Please stop putting money into these idiot's pockets people. Thanks to you we got at least another of these ass-monkeys to look forward to, not to mention about a hundred more Inspector Gadget, Mr. McGoo, and Rocky and Bullwinkle pictures to look forward to.
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Jul 19, 2002 9:37:00 AM CDT
The only cartoons, or Sunday Morning Comics I'd like to see
by screenplaywriter
1. Speed Racer-have Tom Cruise as Speed Racer, Bob Hoskins as the fat guy with the red shirt and the monkey, and you got it made.
2. Garfield-it seemed prominent, or a good idea, but since the voice of Garfield is dead, there's no reason to do, but if there was a Garfield movie then Jeff Daniels should be John.
3. Muppet Babies: The Movie-come on the Muppets are a beloved icon, why not make this into a movie? It could bring back the series again.
4. Another Turtles Movie-I've seen the CGI for the new cartoon and I got to admit it's impressive and well done, but still like always the Shredder returns and their fighting him while sacrfing down pizza. We need a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie with the guys in the suits, same character voices, same people just new villians. I don't know you could get as the new villian, but I thought Bebop and Rocksteady should've been in the second one instead of Toka and Razar.
5. Johnny Bravo-this guy would make a great movie. I mean sure is a dumb blonde trying to get laid, but who cares there's alot of those guys out there.
6. Samurai Jack-been watching this cartoon a while now and it is a really cool cartoon, full of great, yet sometimes confusing stories, but this deserves to be made.
7. Dragon Ball Z-tons of action, great stories, enough said.
8. Batman Beyond-come on why I haven't they tried and made this yet. You already got candidates to play the old Batman: Clint Eastwood, Anthony Hopkins, Sean Connery, etc. and you already got a perfect candidate for the young one (either the voice of the new Batman Will Fridel), or Toby Maguire.
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Jul 20, 2002 2:34:52 AM CDT
Holy Flying shaved musk rats with tattoos that poorly spell "I L
by neosamurai85
I have a feeling I will be stoned for this by a thousand hate e-mails armed with the vocabulary of a Britney Spears Chat Room but in the words of Robin Williams
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You made us so awfully disgust on this movie by your review, and wmade us went to the cinema just to proof your point. How much did "they" pay you huh? Enough to fool your readers?
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well Harry, you have really done it this time. You missed the point all together in your fit of Scooby-doo master orgasms. Scrappy-doo WAS the perfect villian. They were specifically making fun of that horrible character that was shoved down our throats in the cartoon. He was annoying, rude and did nothing to help the plot of the old series. We hated him, we still hate him and always will hate him. I agree with you about Prinze and Gellar. Just proves the point that talent matters less than looks in this day and age of film-making. Props to the amazing lillard though. ZOINKS! He ruled.
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Harry? don't you think you could be a little nicer to directors coz it is hard to make even a really bad movie. If you think that this movie was really as bad as you said then maybe you shuld direct your own better version of scooby doo. Not so easy is it?
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OKAY! Why is Sarah thinking she's so good at movies and quiting Buffy to do more crap!?! She's good as Buffy (the dumb blond who knows a tiny little bit of kick boxing and uses a stunt actress for most of the fight scene, then moans about Angel not loving her) I personally watch the show for the other characters but where is Buffy without Buffy? But hey! This review is about scooby doo the movie so back to the subject. I don't really like the cartoon but it seems (tho I'm only judging from reviews) the movie was made too hollywood where everyone has to have a girlfriend or boyfriend. I mean... I can't see the whole dating thing going on in Scooby Doo! Anyway I'm not gonna say too offensive stuff coz the post above (by me) says how hard it is to write even a crappy movie which is true and I'm gonna stick with that.
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Hey,
Just read your review for SCOOBY DOO movie. Everything you said in your review was everything I felt also.
When that movie was over, I just looked at my friends and was like, 'PLEASE KILL ME NOW!'...
I am a huge fan of SCOOBY DOO and I was just so disappointed in that crap movie!!!
The worse thing about it is that the same writer that wrote the last junk script is writing this one also.
COULD SOMEONE IN HOLLYWOOD GET A FREAKIN' BRAIN...
Okay, just had to get that off my chest.
Thanks for your great review.
Keep it up.
Tara =+) -
Wow. Freddie Prinze jr is an almost totally vacant human being. He's like a big tear in the fabric of time and space, and simply registers no presence. SMJ was just playing Buffy in purple, but most certainly NOT playing Daphne. Lillard and Cardellini were good, though. I watched this movie and couldn't help but wonder if Matt and Linda ever went to lunch together just so they could complain to each other about how they were busting ass to act in this movie while their co-stars, the useless twosome, basically drifted through without exherting an OUNCE of talent, skill, or effort. If I were Matt Lillard, I'd be PISSED OFF that I worked so hard while Freddy and SMJ did NOTHING. ---I still say MY version would have been better. It would have taken the years since the show was on into consideration, and appropriately aged the gang so that they were all in their 40's and getting back together for another big mystery. It would have starred Janeane Garofallo as Velma, Michael Richards (?) as Shaggy, Lea Thompson as Velma, and Drew Carey as Freddy (he's gotten older... and a little heavier, but Drew has the voice!). There would be NO sign of Scrappy Doo in mine. The villain would have been "Old Man Withers" played by Don Knotts. The gang would have been supported by a large cast in cameo roles (like Jonathon Winters, Adam West, et al) and it would have played off a bit more like a MYSTERY rather than an action flick, with Shaggy and Scooby providing the comic relief, while Velma, Daphne and Freddy try to solve this mystery. There would be no butt-kicking. It would have a tone similar to Haunted Honeymoon or Young Frankenstein, but without so many one-shot gags. It would have been better than this festering piece of crap. Oh well... At least I saw it for free thanks to Hollywood Video's guaranteed in stock policy. I'd be pissed off if I had paid for it.
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