MORIARTY Is Horrified By HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION!! And Not In The Good Way!!
Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Sweet Jesus. Are they actively trying to see how bad they can make these films at this point?!
First things first: let’s put a moratorium on the use of the word “RESURRECTION” in a franchise title. It’s bad hoodoo, cursed ground at this point. ALIEN: RESURRECTION looked cool on paper, but it just never worked as a movie when it was all put together. This film doesn’t even have a bit of promise in the premise. Far from it. This film is tired as soon as it begins, a threadbare excuse for trotting out something that vaguely resembles the mask from the first film. And at this point, the mask is all that matters, since there’s nothing like consistent characterization or narrative coherence holding this franchise together.
Let me try and put this in perspective for you.
Rick Rosenthal directed this movie.
This is the same Rick Rosenthal who started his career by having John Carpenter step in to famously reshoot much of HALLOWEEN 2. That’s so insane that it requires me to say it again. They removed him from the movie. From a HALLOWEEN movie. His work required someone else to reshoot it. What he shot didn’t work.
And now he’s had 20-plus years of mediocrity to hone his skills to a dull edge, and he’s back, welcomed back into a franchise he left once already in disgrace, and he’s been granted this opportunity to redeem himself, to make the scary, exciting sequel he couldn’t make all those years ago. Talk about a real-life ROCKY story, right?
The snag is that Rosenthal seems to be genuinely devoid of talent or ability or craftsmanship or even basic spatial understanding as a filmmaker. What he’s assembled here from film that was literally tortured through a camera is a nearly unwatchable thriller that manages to contain nothing even remotely resembling a scare.
I take solace in the knowledge that someone had to sit through dailies for this movie. Chances are it was Rosenthal and at least one of the eight producers listed. Seriously. It took eight people working as a closely knit machine (that may never have met each other or had anything to do with actual production) to come up with this astonishing piece of entertainment. Bob Weinstein, Harvey Weinstein, Moustapha Akkad and probable relative Malek Akkad, and Paul Freeman are some of the familiar names here, attached on behalf of this company or that. I hope each and every one of them sat through dailies for this movie and felt their brains bang at the side of their own skulls, desperate to escape the pain. If I found myself in genuine physical discomfort just sitting through the 94 minutes of the film’s finished running time, then it must have been suffering on a truly karmic level to have to sit through every miserable bit of film that was shot to assemble this fucking headache.
If you are fortunate enough to have not seen any ads for the film, let me give you the quickie version: Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks start a website and pick six college students to spend Halloween night in the original Michael Myers house, locked in, each of them wired with a camera as part of an online interactive experience, a la BLAIR WITCH PROJECT. People die. Michael Myers doesn’t.
That’s pretty much it. What you’d expect. But as uninspired an idea as it is to make fun of reality TV at this point (you should have thrown in some cutting-edge lambada jokes while you were at it), it plays far, far worse. John Robie would call out “MIKE FIGGIS!” and punch himself in the face every time Rosenthal cuts to a shot of four video feeds sharing a screen. If you’re going to set up the idea that you’ve got a ton of monitors in a house and you’re watching one of cinema’s most iconic (if ill-used) monsters stalk a group of people... how hard is it to make that film at least visually interesting? It’s even shot in 2.35:1, glorious scope, just like the original. It’s got to have something to recommend about it, right?
God, I wish. But, honestly, no. David Geddes (ERNEST RIDES AGAIN, ERNEST GOES TO SCHOOL, SLAM DUNK ERNEST) shot this film like he was angry at the script.
And the script by Larry Brand...
What am I doing? Am I actually going to give this film the respect of a full review? Am I going to take the time to describe just how blantant and piss poor a ripoff of T2 the opening Jamie Lee Curtis cameo sequence is? Or how ridiculous the explanation is for Michael’s survival after the rather definitive ending of H20 a few years ago? Am I going to go down the list and discuss the cast, one at a time? Am I going to put more effort into the dissection of this film than anyone did regarding the conception of it? If the filmmakers here had so little regard for you, the audience, then why should I waste the time and the column space talking about the particular failings of each department?
Bianca Kajlich, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Sean Patrick Thomas, Billy Kay... you guys have been in real films. You’ve done good work in other places. Were your agents playing pranks on you? You’re all stranded here, and I’m terribly sorry to see it happen. Part of the problem is that Rosenthal seems to have no idea what to do with his actors. Part of the problem is that he asks them to do scenes with Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks.
This is the first time I’ve seen Busta play a lead, and he’s horrific. Some of the film’s very worst moments involve him. In one sequence, he’s sneaking into the house dressed as Michael Myers, and Michael Myers follows him into the house. Have you ever seen the moment in a cartoon or a Three Stooges short where someone’s dressed as a gorilla or some other dangerous animal, and somehow, there’s also a real gorilla or other dangerous animal, and the two of them come face to face? As Busta tells off the real Michael, I imagine audiences will be on their feet, applauding the ingenious absurdist wit on display. He thinks its one of his crew members, and he scolds him and sends him outside. Despite the fact that Michael is an unstoppable killing machine who literally walks through a door without flinching in order to get to Laurie Strode, Michael gets all sheepish when he is yelled at by Busta, and he actually does what he says and leaves, letting Busta get back to scaring the kids.
Towards the end, I’m guessing Busta announced that he would not be going out like a bitch. Instead of following accepted slasher formula and killing everyone except Sara (Kajlich), the young female lead, Busta gets about three big fight sequences where he whups up on Michael. And even when Michael does his worst, he doesn’t kill Busta. He just knocks him out and hurts his neck a little. His fight sequences rival the best work of Jackie Chan in DRUNKEN MASTER 2. He manages to give Michael a run...
... oh, god, even the sarcasm just hurts. This isn’t a funny-bad film. It’s a bad-bad film. Tyra Banks couldn’t act like she was in pain if I lit her on fire. She manages to look surprised that she’s in front of a camera pretty much every time she opens her mouth. I’ve never disliked Banks before, but as far as I was concerned, they couldn’t kill her character off fast enough.
Wait. Maybe that was Brand and Rosenthal’s innovation. Maybe they’ve made a film in which you are rooting for Michael to kill everyone. Maybe this series has now become about a sad, misunderstood little boy who had no choice but to slaughter his family. There’s certainly enough clues dropped this time out, suggestions that Michael was kept in a chair in a closet, abused. Not understanding that the mask is scary because of what it hides, Brand and Rosenthal have tried to humanize Michael. Evil is best when vague, when it’s threatening because it’s unpredictable. The minute you start overexplaining Michael Myers, you rob him of any potency, however tattered, that he still possessed as a character.
I could go on, but I don’t have the heart. Suffice it to say that I hated this film, and I strongly urge you not to see it in the theater. Send the message to Dimension that you want them to STOP... RAPING... THE CORPSE... OF HALLOWEEN... and if you have to see it because you’re a quasi-completionist horror nerd who has seen every other one so far, then wait until it’s free or it’s on cable, or on video. If the film earns nothing in the theater, then I’m hoping the studio will finally admit that they milked this thing to death. They’ll let Michael Myers finally die.
At this point, it would be a kindness.
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July 3, 2002, 8:25 a.m. CST
....sorry, nothing more to add. I guess its all been said.
July 3, 2002, 8:25 a.m. CST
July 3, 2002, 8:27 a.m. CST
.....thats gotta sting poor Rosenthal. Sometimes when I'm reading the various scything, bilious diatribes on this site I wonder....this site is probably the most popular film site on the planet - I would imagine a vast majority of the people who direct these films/are involved in these articles actually READ them. Thats a pretty strong attack on someone you don't even know Drew - merciless and violently insulting - do you ever stop for a moment to consider how this article will make this poor (perhaps not as talented as Spielberg) director feel? Just playing Devil's Advocate - I'm not big on ripping the heart out of people and stamping on it. Just a thought.
Hardly suprising to be honest, this continual leeching off superior work is becoming tiresome.
July 3, 2002, 8:32 a.m. CST
by Max Rockatansky
Yes, Rosenthal is a dreckmeister. You may remeber him by movies like THE BIRDS II and RUSSKIES: But he made one true gem in his career, BAD BOYS with Sean Penn and Esai Morales. Truly gritty and grindhouse style. V8 out
July 3, 2002, 8:34 a.m. CST
Is this perhaps your first time on the site. Mercilessly slagging off actors/writers/directors etc. whether they have genuine talent or none at all is pretty much all that happens. Does it bother them that much? Clearly it needled Kevin Smith a little but I can't imagine it bothers anyone else too much. No-one ever made a statue of a critic, don't forget. Matt
July 3, 2002, 8:43 a.m. CST
Thanks anyway Mori for taking one for the team, i certainly won't be seeing this one. I might give it some credit if the greedy bastards in control would release it at Halloween like you are suppossed to.
July 3, 2002, 8:51 a.m. CST
I had written a great theory that linked all the Halloween movies except #3, and now I have to figure out a way to revise it to include this film? DAMMIT! Tell you what Dimension, If you want to make Halloween a franchise, come to me. I can make it fresh and entertaining, then when I make my film call someone else to do another. Some one good. There are plenty of people out there who know how to make better horror movies, or even more of a thriller. Get Bruce Jones who is writing a fantastic Hulk comic now to write a Halloween film. And get some good directors while your at it. But come to me first. I have an idea that will kill you.
July 3, 2002, 8:58 a.m. CST
by Max Rockatansky
holidill, THIS IS HARVEY wEINSTEIN WRITING. PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR BRILLIANT HALLOWEEN THEORY. I AM DESPERATLY WAITING FOR IT. But first I need to kill Rosenthal, for he posted his brilliant Halloween theory on this site and I fell for it. V8 out
July 3, 2002, 9:06 a.m. CST
July 3, 2002, 9:08 a.m. CST
by Fat Lot Of Good
Aparently in the new film, they eplain it awy as Michael swapped masks with the Ambo driver that Laurie hijacked. So it was an Ambo's head she cut off ( In Australia we call Ambulance's, Ambo's. Sorry if I confused anyone)
July 3, 2002, 9:18 a.m. CST
You know, I've said this before, but I've got a great idea for a Halloween sequel. You get the REAL William Shatner to play Michael Meyers! Just imagine the payoff - "You mean... It's not a mask!?!?!?" sk
July 3, 2002, 9:21 a.m. CST
He got his eyeballs shot out and burt to hell in a gas ball flame out. Then in 4, his eyes regenerated enough so he could drive his scarless ass right out of the asylum again. Either he's a walking vessel of evil with a shitload of relatives, or one of a series of occult created clones. He's the original Weapon X. They screwed this up a long,long time ago.
July 3, 2002, 9:22 a.m. CST
by Max Rockatansky
July 3, 2002, 9:23 a.m. CST
July 3, 2002, 9:29 a.m. CST
It's so evil. Why do they have to beat dead horses so hard. Scooby Doo 2 is a bad enough idea but it's even worse when the film was good in the first place and it's just been killed by too many sequels. They wanted to do their up to date 90's style version which was fine. H20 dealth with that perfectly. Tied things up nicely and whether you liked it or not was a good ending to the saga BUT WHAT FUCKING EEJIT SAID I KNOW LETS MAKE ANOTHER FUCKING HALLOWEEN FILM. Oh and check out Rosenthal on IMDB. he has an amusingly shite career. Even that buffy episode he did was a poor one. Oh and nuff resepect for working on "Shiloh 2"??? Anyone with friends series 3 on video will understand the pain of SHiloh 1. Anyway don't see this movie. Teach those damned producers we're not as thick as they think we are.
July 3, 2002, 9:40 a.m. CST
It's a sequel to a franchise that hasn't had a good movie since the original! In an answer to Moriarty's question: Are they actively trying to make them that bad? No, they're actively trying to do the least amount of work possible to make money. It's the Hollywood equivalent of surfing the net at work (like I am right now. I'd better stop.)
July 3, 2002, 9:52 a.m. CST
We hunger to know.
July 3, 2002, 9:55 a.m. CST
Halloween 2 was unecessary as well. Should've stopped after the first one. I heard that in the next one they're going to reveal that Mike is actually a T-800 and Jamie Lee is really a man disguised as a woman to hide from him. Oh yeah, and Jason Voorhees is a hairless Yeti. Wouldn't be much worse than what they've done here.
July 3, 2002, 10:08 a.m. CST
July 3, 2002, 10:09 a.m. CST
by Smilin'Jack Ruby
Heard something like this somewhere.
July 3, 2002, 10:14 a.m. CST
Well. . . duh. What were you expecting Mori, talent? It's BUSTAH RHYMES. As a general rule, pop stars cannot act, with a few exceptions - Tupac, Sean Combs in Made... hm, what else... Not much. Madonna in everything (just kidding). Anyway, I finally started to see previews for this on TV and I'm stunned. I'd really thought it would o straight to video. It looks just awful. I've loved some of the Halloweens, but it's time to let it go. Let Michael rest in peace. Put Jamie Lee out to pasture. End it. It can't get better, only worse. In the words of Bustah, "woo-ha! Got you all in check."
July 3, 2002, 10:17 a.m. CST
This movie will do okay because America is love with all RAP stars. Busta will draw crowds just like Britney drew crowds... America is obsessed with RAP and Rock-RAP. Today, it's cool to be "ghetto" and "keep it real." I am a sociology and a political science major therefore I know what I am saying. Only because Busta (oh hell I feel fucking dumb saying his name) is in the movie, crowds will flock to see his "keeping it real" attitude toward Michael Myers. I, for one, will wait till this terd comes out on video. I will also continue to think this newly arisen mentality that being rude is keeping it real, is just that, ignorant and is a decaying mechanism in America.
July 3, 2002, 10:30 a.m. CST
I liked that movie. Much better than Halloween 2. Sean Penn was great in it. Maybe Rick has little or no talent, but he did pull off a good movie once.
July 3, 2002, 10:31 a.m. CST
leave halloween where it was at the end of H20, with a bit of dignity. Failing that, I'll just have to do with this what I did with Van Sant's Psycho...ignore it. It never happened. BTW what's with this crap about Michael Myers being an abused child ? He seemed well adjusted enough in the opening of Halloween, which is what made that movie so scarey and disturbing in the first place. Terror is always more effective when it comes from left field, the most unexpected source. Everybody, except the makers of Resurrection seem to know that. maybe they really should stop pimping Carpenter's creation and find another means of income. This one won't work for them !
July 3, 2002, 10:33 a.m. CST
Because white suburban kids are into the whole hip-hop lifestyle, where "danger" is around every corner, and you can get that feel without leaving the comforts of home. As a black person, I don't wanna sound like I'm stereotyping all suburban white kids in that respect, but on my college campus the majority of people bumping rap music full blast in their cars are upper middle class white guys, who are the main consumers of it in general. I do kinda think they went with this whole cast to get a hip, trendy, urban feel for the movie, but it's still gonna suck horribly. My sister asked me how can he come back after being decapitated, and I was like, "Hollywood, man....what can I tell you?"
July 3, 2002, 11:15 a.m. CST
(-2, Hack) :-P I'd like to see hollywood experiment a little. Sort of like that "Stan Lee does Superman" Business. Throw a little extra cash around so we can see "What if Joel Shumacher made Network?" or... Wait! I have it! "What if Adam Sandler made Mr. Deeds Goes to Town" !!!!!!!! Oh. (Hexus -1, Redundant)
July 3, 2002, 11:18 a.m. CST
and went down hill into unbearably stupid and not at all entertaining crap...Thanks for tearing these yahoos a new one Moriarty! out.
July 3, 2002, 11:18 a.m. CST
One moment George Lucas is raping your childhood, the next Harvey Weinstein is raping the corpse of Halloween. Can we leave the rape metaphore alone for a few weeks? We've passed some kind of horrible threshold where every negative review of a film has to drag in a rape of some description. Enough, already!
July 3, 2002, 11:21 a.m. CST
They didn't throw Nazis into the fray. Godwin's Law prov. [Usenet] "As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one." There is a tradition in many groups that, once this occurs, that thread is over, and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically lost whatever argument was in progress. Godwin's Law thus practically guarantees the existence of an upper bound on thread length in those groups. However there is also a widely- recognized codicil that any intentional triggering of Godwin's Law in order to invoke its thread-ending effects will be unsuccessful. I think that this applies to the TB as well.
July 3, 2002, 11:26 a.m. CST
... you made ME cry when I read this review. I'm thinkin' there's gonna be some suicides related to your scathing comments (+ not just in the career sense- though it sounds as though that happened long ago for these poor folk.) I've never seen a Hallowe'en movie so I shan't pretend that I have something genuine to concern myself with. I will say this, however: Busta ROCKED in 'Higher Learning,' though the role wasn't much of a stretch. + he damn well better be back for the next installment of Shaft. That's all; I'm out.
July 3, 2002, 11:56 a.m. CST
Y'know, I never laugh out loud during one of Harry's reviews. Well, except when I reread his AOTC preview after opening night...
July 3, 2002, 11:56 a.m. CST
...No rappers have ever been nominated for academy awards because Will Smith is defintely not a rapper. There is nothing remotely connectable between Will Smith and rap. Oh, there are these rumors I've heard about Smith and rap, but all I ever heard was this guy who couldn't out-rhyme "Hop on Pop"...
July 3, 2002, 12:02 p.m. CST
It reads: HALLOWEEN. JULY 2002. Now, I'm no rocket scientist, but doesn't Halloween come in OCTOBER? Isn't October traditionally one of those weak months when you release your trash because the competition is low? Wouldn't it have made ONE MOTHERFUCKING IOTA OF SENSE to release a movie called HALLO-FUCKING-WEEN in OCTOBER instead of JULY? Further proof that movie execs have actual SHIT, I mean feces, I mean excrement, for brains.
July 3, 2002, 12:02 p.m. CST
Oh man, thank god I know now. Otherwise it'll be like that "Big Blue Sea" where I pay my eight bucks and excitedly sit down with my nibs and soda and say "I can't wait for LL to die. Man it's going to be good to see LL get eaten by a huge fucking shark." And then, LL doesn't get eaten. Everyone else does - even that really hot chick - hell, she gets slaughtered like a cow, but no, LL lives - with Thomas Jane. I never felt so cheated in all my life. And now Busta kicks Michael Myers ass. Man, studios so do not give the public what we want - dead celebrities.
July 3, 2002, 12:09 p.m. CST
Just kidding, this sounds pretty crummy.
July 3, 2002, 12:26 p.m. CST
Shit, at least they acknowledged that the man behind the hockey mask was a copycat killer in Friday 5. Not so in H20. I now bring you the actual dialogue on how they decided to bring back The Shape. EXEC 1: I think there's still a few more dollars to milk in this Halloween frachise if we bring in a rapper and a model. EXEC 2: We can shoot a Myers-less story. EXEC 3: Shit no! We made that mistake in Part 3! EXEC 1: Okay, so we're agreed that we need to bring back Michael Myers. But how? We cut off his head in the end of the last one? EXEC 2: How about a copycat killer? Friday the 13th did that, didn't they? EXEC 3: No no! A copycat killer has been used. We need the real Michael Myers! EXEC 1: What if we say that it was a copycat killer in the last one? EXEC 2: Genius! Pure genius! EXEC 3: Hold on a second. Do we really think the fans are that dumb to buy that? EXEC 1: You're right. Hmmm... EXEC 2: What if Michael switched outfits with somebody before the ambulance ride, and Laurie Strode cut off some poor officer's head instead. EXEC 3: I like it! EXEC 1: Bravo! EXEC 2: And we can get Rick Rosenthal to direct it! He did Part 2! EXEC 3: Yes! Pure genius! EXEC 1: Break out the bubbly, we've got ourself another Halloween movie! EXEC 2: Now how about the next thing on our agenda. What do you think of "Baby Bob: The Movie?" EXECS 1&3: Ooooooooo....
July 3, 2002, 12:38 p.m. CST
stop with the shitty sequels Saving a place on my worst films of recent memory list for this one. So far the list reads: Night Train to Terror Ghoulies(all of them) Romeo Must Die The Forsaken Double Team Anything with Whoopi Goldberg in it(except for The Color Purple) Joe Dirt Jaws The Revenge Tango & Cash Two if by Sea Friday the 13th 5,8,9 American Werewolf in Paris Fright Night 2 Elm street 2,5,6 Judge Dread Ladies Man Night at the Roxbury 13 Ghosts I Know What You Did Last Summer(both) Urban Legends 2 Leviathan Freejack Queen of the Damned In fact most Vampire movies these days Howling 2 thru whatever Halloween 5,6,8? Mortal Kombat 2 Tomb Raider Speed 2 Caddyshack 2 Fuck it, there are just too many to name.
July 3, 2002, 12:49 p.m. CST
by Johnny Utah
...about Tyra Banks and the setting-of-fire-to. Gotta remember that one. And by the way, go see the "Powerpuff Girls." Mojo Jojo will have your ass.
July 3, 2002, 12:59 p.m. CST
Well for the international crowd let me add my 2cents. I am a young white guy living in a big city. I fucking hate rap. I despise the music and the fake wannabes that listen to it. So there you have it.. We don't all fit that stereotype. Comments on this movie: I won't bother to see it. Well, maybe in a couple years when I'm drunk off my ass watching Cinemax or something and there is nothing on. Simple as that. Now Dagon, on the other hand, I will go rent immediately after it is released.
July 3, 2002, 1:01 p.m. CST
July 3, 2002, 1:02 p.m. CST
by Roj Blake
...but I *really* liked "Alien: Resurrection". Better than "Aliens" even. Like I said, call me crazy.
July 3, 2002, 1:14 p.m. CST
A 7th sequal to a great film isnt good man. I was planning on camping out for this. Oh well there goes the highlight of my summer
July 3, 2002, 1:15 p.m. CST
To say that you despise all of any form of music is a bit close-minded as it is all related in some form or another. I agree that the crap that gets the most airplay usually sucks, but if you do some digging I'm sure you'd find something that you could at least appreciate. For instance I'm a big, scary, muscular black guy with dreads who lives in an urban area of Philly that most of you would probably consider deplorable and while I do listen to mostly rap I can appreciate talent when I hear it no matter what the genre. By the way, just saw Ginger Snaps and thought it was pretty good except for the fleshy werewolf with the permanent snarl. Why is it that FX artists always make these things with a permanent snarl? What animal walks around like that 24/7? None. Dog Soldiers' minimalist approach actually came across pretty well although the pics in Fango had me a little scared at first.
July 3, 2002, 1:18 p.m. CST
by Kid Ryan
Don't believe me? Check out the official website.
July 3, 2002, 1:23 p.m. CST
I liked Alien 4, to an extent. Joss Whedon's original design for the Newborn was a lot cooler though. I'm still holding out hope for Alien 5. Right now it's in the "rumored to have interest, but we don't know if there's enough yet" stage.
July 3, 2002, 1:31 p.m. CST
What the fuck is this shit? I'm sick of seeing pointless, dumb fucking teenagers in horror films, it's a trend that died a decade ago. Stupid executives fucking this franchise up. The last decent Halloween 4 was part 4, then since then, the halloween movies have just been blow jobbed by Moustapha Akkad. If you want to save the Halloween franchise and let it go out on top and bury it for good, get off you fat assess and get John Carpenter to write and direct the FINAL HALLOWEEN FILM! This franchise died in 1989, the year Halloween 5 was born. Quit raping it's corpse and give this franchise it's respect back.
July 3, 2002, 1:45 p.m. CST
Real Rap stars are supposed to be intelligent and tal....oh fuck, what am I saying?
July 3, 2002, 2:38 p.m. CST
in the sewers? walking the roads to find the next Myers cousin 4 times removed? where does he eat? where does he shite? Beatles or Stones? 401K? he's 45 years old now. where does he find fresh Dickies coveralls?
July 3, 2002, 2:44 p.m. CST
by Charles Grady
Who's the genius who moved HALLOWEEN: RESSURECTION from its original release date of July 19th, where it would have been OK counterprogramming to K19 and STUART LITTLE, to July 12th, where it goes head-to-head with REIGN OF FIRE, which is for the SAME audience, not to mention ROAD TO PERDITION and CROCODILE HUNTER? By the way, since no one's mentioned it, RICK ROSENTHAL CREATED LIFETIME'S (TV FOR WOMEN) ESTROGEN-FEST STRONG MEDICINE, STARRING JANINE TURNER AND WHOOPI GOLDBERG!!!! AAAAH! Pray you NEVER have to sit through THAT!
July 3, 2002, 2:55 p.m. CST
by eclectic heretic
seriously. and i dont trust anybody who says they hate rap. rap is as diverse as music itself. silly white people. like if it doesnt have a guitar or piano, it aint music. as if those arnt just some arbitrary inventions. the word "song" originally meant spoken word, not just another beatles rip off.
July 3, 2002, 3:05 p.m. CST
by Shawn F.
The 2000 version of "Shaft". Then again, I'm sure that really didn't require him to act. Just smoke a big joint and let loose. Anyone expecting the ninth Halloween film to be something worth spending ten bucks on has to have something seriously wrong with them to begin with.
July 3, 2002, 3:31 p.m. CST
I'd get sheepish if Busta was yelling at ME, too...
July 3, 2002, 3:49 p.m. CST
call me what you will, but i love the franchise...or...half of it anyway. i love the first, second, and seventh films, absolutely hate four, five and six, and i've never bothered with three since it doesn't deal with your friend and mine. i am looking foward to part 8 because even though i thought seven ended the franchise very nicely...it has been made and will be released. my favorite horror icon of all time is finally coming back to the big screen so i'm happy. i like the idea of laurie being committed after chopping off an innocents head. i believe micheal would've switched clothes with the driver, it makes sense for his charachter. what i don't like is the tampering with his childhood crap. mori has it right, its scarier that he was well balanced and one day, just killed his sister. no motive...terrifying. don't feed us this abused child crap...dr. loomis would've mentioned that back in the original...he didn't. bring on micheal myers...i hope its as entertaining as JASON X. that was the best way to fix all the damn continuity problems...even if it was a little far fetched.
July 3, 2002, 3:56 p.m. CST
Well, I don't really like rap. I apologize if that offends you. There is nothing person or racial about it. I have quite a few black friends who don't like it either. I will admit there are some talented rap artists and there is a rare time when something rap related catches my ear but its seldom. My whole point was that someone above was stereotyping young white guys who live in big cities as rap / gangster fans. I don't think you would want to be stereotyped either would you? :)
July 3, 2002, 4:05 p.m. CST
by Hue G. Rection
July 3, 2002, 4:07 p.m. CST
You have me bustin up laughing. :)
July 3, 2002, 4:49 p.m. CST
I can see those executives talkin' about "Freddy vs. Jason II"or "Alien vs, Predator V: the final battle" or Steven Seagal's next project. "Let's hire some rappers and a talentless model who can't act but has a great bootie, put some hip hop into this and those dumb____ will eat it up opening weekend. And this will do really well in the philipines too and on home video...We'll make a decent profit! who cares if it sucks?" It's so obvious when these "movies" come out...
July 3, 2002, 4:51 p.m. CST
by Charles Grady
AMEN to giving due respect to HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH, which, other than of course the original HALLOWEEN, is best film in this so-called series. Here's a tip, folks -- The defining characteristic of the HALLOWEEN series is NOT Michael Myers, but rather John Carpenter, which is why III rocks -- it has that AWESOME late 70s/early 80s Carpenter look and sound. He didn't actually call the shots, but the old-school JC aesthetic is evident in every shot and in every musical note. Brilliant Howarth/Carpenter score. Tom Atkins as Dr. Challis might be the ULTIMATE John Carpenter antihero, right up there with Snake Plissken. "He was hanging onto a Halloween mask, and in a little while he was dead....And I don't know WHAT THE HELL IS GOIN' ON" So what if it doesn't have "Michael Myers." Just because a "sequel" has a stuntman in a cheesy imitation of the original Myers mask doesn't make it a true sequel. Only II and III even count. IV on are just hackwork from Mustapha Akkad, who'se determined to milk every drop out of this tired series. As far as I'm concerned, Myers died in that hospital explosion in H2, and NONE of these poseur sequels hold a candle to the mastery of Carpenter and his peers.
July 3, 2002, 4:59 p.m. CST
by eclectic heretic
townsend, bowie, hendrix... they've all made great contribubutions to music in the last 20 years, havnt they? pfft. thanks for helping me make my point. and equating rap with busta and p diddy is like equating rock to david lee roth and huey lewis. really though, that was a great attempt to act like you know what you're talking about.
July 3, 2002, 5:14 p.m. CST
Checking IMDB, I see Rosenthal is responsible for 1983's BAD BOYS with Sean Penn and some BUFFY episodes. He obviously is not a total loser.
July 3, 2002, 5:16 p.m. CST
July 3, 2002, 5:20 p.m. CST
Steve Miner's name comes up in this talkback. Curiously enough, he has a long list of shite to his credit, with one movie worthy of note (WILD HEARTS CAN'T BE BROKEN) and some journeyman TV work -- just like Rosenthal!
July 3, 2002, 5:32 p.m. CST
I am kicking myself in th ass for spelling turd wrong! ARGH. I agree, I can't stand seeing people spell wrong sometimes. However, it is awkward typing away on a paper and hitting keys on your keyboard speaking to a friend. For example, sometimes I catch myself in class writing "ppl" instead of people. Anyway, yah, I did spell turd wrong... and feel stupid for doing so... but than again...who really cares?
July 3, 2002, 5:39 p.m. CST
To the fuckingdevil: All rap sucks. Except for MC Hammer, and I suspect you would not call what he sand rap. I repeat. All rap sucks. Except for the Beastie Boys, and you probably dismiss them as well, being white and all. Anyhow, good point about the werewolf in GNGER SNAPS. Up until the final showdown, the movie was headed for four-star status. But the "conventional"-looking werewolf and its routine dispatch took the movie down a notch.
July 3, 2002, 6:16 p.m. CST
I thought "Halloween III" was probably the most ingenious and visually impressive film in the series. Even though it had nothing to do with Michael Myers, Dan O'Herlihy was great as the villain of the conglomerate that wanted to kill people all over America by watching a Halloween skit on tv. Brilliant. And the lead, Tom Atkins, I believe was pretty good too. I still remember the unforgettable last scene with the "Silver Shamrock" tune on tv and Tom Atkins yelling "Stop it! Stop it!" I used to have that on Laserdisc and watched it more than any Halloween movie I can recall - it was pretty gory too, and the soundtrack was fab.
July 3, 2002, 6:17 p.m. CST
Didn't Bianca Kajlich play one of the cheerleaders in Bring Tits On? She is nice. And Billy Kay was good as the little punk in L.I.E so I think I will check this out. Random slaughtering is almost always fun. Besides this a very weak summer. After this, Reign of Fire is the only thing that interests me at all.
July 3, 2002, 6:21 p.m. CST
Every movie shot on film sucks. It just sucks. And if you want me to repeat it, i will: All movies shot on film SUCK. It's the bare truth of it. The only good ones are Crocodile Dundee Pt. II, which i know some people might consider not even a movie. Other than that, all movies filmed on film suck. Except for Peewee's Big Top Adventure, which you probably also think sucks. Bite it.
July 3, 2002, 6:34 p.m. CST
Okay folks, I'm an old fart who actually has vivid memory of seeing the original Halloween in the movie theater in 1978. I loved it. I love it now. I was back in the same theater a few years later for Halloween II and I loved it. I love it now. I don't know if Moriarty is correct about director Rosenthal being fired off that picture, but I trust him so I'll give Moriarty the benefit of the doubt. Halloween II has that Carpenter feel to it. This is true for a few reasons. For one, cinematographer Dean Cundey returned from the first film to shoot Halloween II. Also, Carpenter did co-write the screenplay with Debra Hill, so the story rings true to the original, like a companion piece. The first and second films feel like one great long movie to me. Now, it's quite well documented that Carpenter came on to at least shoot the additional "Television Version" scenes to add to the first film during it's initial run on Network T.V. (See Anchor Bay's incredible Collector's Edition Double Disc--if you were lucky enough to get your hands on this limited release) If Rosenthal's work was "not working," Carpenter could have stepped in to reshoot much of the film. Whatever the case, Halloween I and II are pure gold for me. I religiously watch them every October. I want to say with absolute clarity here and now, that every sequel after Halloween II is completely ignored and disregared by me. They don't exist. It's a lot like the Superman films. Superman I and II are great; forget whatever came after. They even brought in a replacement for director Richard Donner to finish Superman II (a move I consider so foolish) but Donner had completed enough work on II to ensure a solid end product. Folks, when it becomes only about the money and nothing else, you're dead to me. When the quality goes, I go. What surprises me more than anything else when it comes to the Halloween sequels is the mask. Michael's mask was virtually identical for Halloween I and II. It was perfect. We all know it's the William Shatner "Captain Kirk" mask, which the costumers modified somewhat to create that iconic visage we all know and love. Its memory is burned into my grey matter for eternity. I love it! No mask to follow in any other Halloween effort looks anything like the mask from Halloween I and II. If you can't even make that mask right, how can you even start to tackle the monstrous task of trying to build a sequel to hold its own? That's just a foundation piece; there's still a huge mountain to climb. The powers that be never even approached the ball park. So sad. Never pay them to insult you. It encourages them. I work in the industry. I've seen this first hand. I want to close by saying that I read every post here today. Bramton 1's "executive conversation" bit was very funny. Bravo Bramton! Kind of scary how accurate that seemed. Also, to Roj Blake: if you think Alien:Resurrection is better than Aliens you are a troglodyte on crack.
July 3, 2002, 6:36 p.m. CST
by The Credible One
rap sucks? please. closeminded faggots. plus illerphenom is ill even tho he looks crazy as hell. yall ever seen his pictures? just go to soundcircuit.com to see him anyway most of you just talk talk talk talk talk complaining about everything and how it will never be the way you little nerds think it should be, while the other half of you subscribe to the conan o brien school of wit attempting to be funny and string together words in way that you love to read your own posts over and over again. fuck do yall just like to type or something? take a fucking class, faggots ps, I back kevin smith hates all you losers
July 3, 2002, 6:44 p.m. CST
I was actually gonna spend money and watch this crap.It should have ended with H20.And talk about rape, Michael Myers ass must make no sound at all from the screwing the producers are giving him there every time they make another dumb, no plot sequel.One would almost think Rick Berman and Brannon Braga had taken over this franchise as well.Thank again for the heads up Moriarty.Now I'll just rent the video (where it should have gone directly to, apparently)when it comes out.
July 3, 2002, 6:51 p.m. CST
at least not at the "test" screening. http://www.creature-corner.com/reviews/halloween8.php3
July 3, 2002, 6:59 p.m. CST
There are too many people who are way too defensive when it comes to the original Halloween. They rip any sequel to shreds because they have such high love for the originals. I LOVE Halloween. No matter how many sequels they make, none of them will ever meet or beat the original. Not even a shot by shot remake of the original will beat the original. People should've figured out that Halloween sequels would always be inferior around the time part 5 came out. Get over it people. Go into H8 with low expectations and you'll probably be somewhat surprised. It's not as BAD as Moriarty is saying. Quit going in their wanting to rip the film and it's makers a new asshole. Halloween 1 is the best, we know that! This 8th one is pretty entertaining and has a few cool moments. Sure it lacks the atmosphere and style of the original, but I think it's an descent misadventure of Michael Myers doing what he does best.... Brutally killing a bunch of naive teens. That's it, what did you expect?
July 3, 2002, 7:05 p.m. CST
by Studio Lackey
America's Most Terrifying Movie Baddie Lives...Again!!! The legend of Michael Myers is reborn in a chilling, brand-new horror classic that...oh God, no, I'm sorry, but even I can't find anything good to say about this skidmark on the underpants of Hollywood cinema. Go see "Lilo & Stitch" instead. I quit.
July 3, 2002, 7:26 p.m. CST
I think the last movie would have been a great ending to the whole series. For Michael to b abel to switch mask and survive for another movie makes him appear smarter that scary. I agree that Michael should have remained a killer rather than someone who developes into a killer with reason.
July 3, 2002, 7:47 p.m. CST
by Charles Grady
Great post, and I agree with virtually everything you said, except 1) I would go one step further and add HALLOWEEN III, which also does have that Carpenter/Cundey look and Alan Howarth music. So it doesn't have The Shape. It's still an awesome Carpenter flick. 2) HALLOWEEN II IS pure gold for me, too, with one exception -- The "Michael Myers is Laurie Strode's brother" bit, which did not exist in the original and has been the basis for most of the lame sequels, has always seemed like a desperate move Carpenter and Hill pulled it out of their ass during a fit of writer's block while writing H2. There was NO need to link Michael to Laurie, and there's no evidence of this connection anywhere in the first film, aside from the "Sister"-on-the-institution-wall scene used in TV prints of Part I, which Carpenter actually shot to give the two films some continuity during the filming of H2. Truth be told, Michael is scarier in Part I because of the seeming randomness of his attacks. The connection to Laurie has always seemed forced, to me. But a big-time AMEN to complaining about the cheesy masks in 4 thru 8! I mean, how hard can it really be to replicate that damn Shatner mask? In particular, the mask in Part 4 was laughable, as Michael looked like Frosty the Snowman with that round face and absurd afro. The mask in 5 was almost as bad, with that huge neck and ridiculous slanted nose -- If the idea of reviving a supposedly NOT SUPERNATURAL man whose eyes had been shot out and who stood three feet from an explosion that LEVELED A HOSPITAL after being shot 8 TIMES wasn't absurd enough, the goofy mask took away any remaining chance at a genuinely scary or evil presence. Again, great post, feel free to post some more or e-mail if you wanna discuss/debate any further!
July 3, 2002, 8:08 p.m. CST
Thank you Charles Grady. You're a gentleman and a scholar. I really liked your post. Good observations. And yes, it can't be that fucking hard to mold a duplicate of Shatner's young face.
July 3, 2002, 10:54 p.m. CST
by Fatal Discharge
besides, what the hell else is he doing these days?
July 3, 2002, 11:21 p.m. CST
Hi all, Notch here. I haven't watched Halloween 6, but I did see H20. NOW, WHO WAS THE MAN IN BLACK IN HALLOWEEN 5?? There was this pretty cool guy who followed Loomis and "shadowed" Michael during the film. He obviously was "normal" because 1) he arrived in town on a Greyhound bus, meaning that he had to buy a ticket, meaning that he wasn't some nut like Michael who couldn't even say "hello" if his life depended on it. 2) he smoked, making him a bit more normal. 3) He apparently shot up an entire police station (if I recall, a CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP scene where virtually nothing was shown). 4) He broke Michael out of jail. NOW CURSE OF MYERS SUCKED, SO I HEAR, I NEVER SAW IT. WHO WAS THE MAN IN BLACK??? Notch out.
July 3, 2002, 11:28 p.m. CST
by Johnny Ahab
Ahhh, who cares? Neither of these limp-dick sequels shoulda been made! GIVE ME EVIL DEAD 4 -- or better yet, COULD YOU IDIOT DISTRIBUTORS BRING "BUBBA HOTEP" TO THEATERS LIKE NEXT WEEK??? Oh, and great review, Prof. M. Laughed out loud at your crack about Tyra Banks not being able to act like she was in pain if you'd set her on fire. Keep on writin', Mori. Does Harry still work on this site anymore?
July 3, 2002, 11:31 p.m. CST
by Johnny Ahab
Add me to the list of "Halloween III" fans. Saw it in the theater way back when, and it creeped me out. It's a good'un.
July 3, 2002, 11:45 p.m. CST
by SLEAZY DINOSAUR
The original Halloween is a modern classic, Halloween 2 was ok for what it was. I didn't really watch the rest until a couple of years ago, when my roomate and I rented all of them and spent the day watching them, they were pretty bad, but fun to laugh at. I actually would like to see another sequel where they disregard all but the original and have John Carpenter direct it, now that would be interesting. Halloween spawned a lot of ripoffs, one of the best ones to me was "He knows your alone", it had a young Tom Hanks in a small supporting role, and his head ended up in a fish tank, anyway, worth a look if you come across it.
July 4, 2002, 12:03 a.m. CST
Halloween may not be for everyone, but it's fine with me. I grew up watching Halloween and the countless sequels with delight. Sure, looking back on them, they are hardly good movies to say the least. . .but I did enjoy them. The thing is, they are not trying to make a Hitchcock film here, they are just trying to make a fun slasher movie. I haven't seen Halloween Resurrection, but I am sure I will on opening night. Michael Myers is the best horror movie villian we have right now and I am glad they are still making movies. I have enjoyed all of the Myers films to date (some more than others) and I am sure I will enjoy this one too. However, if I have one complaint, it would be the fact that they are starting a trend of releasing the movies in the summer season as opposed to the typical fall release date as the early ones. I would like to go see a Halloween movie when the leaves are changing, cool autumn breezes are flowing and kids litter the streets with busted jack o' laterns and toliet paper.
July 4, 2002, 12:11 a.m. CST
by Noriko Takaya
. . .but no way in Hell am I seein' this "movie." Instead I'll just crank "Anarchy" up full blast while on my way to see Monority Report. Toppu o Nerae!
July 4, 2002, 12:39 a.m. CST
I saw Halloween H20. Decent movie, and I liked the final decapitation of Michael Myers. It was a nice, clean way of putting it all to rest. No more getting up, no more coming back from the dead. It was cathartic, it was poignant (Michael Myers was her brother, so axing his head off was not an easy choice), and thought it wasn't Oscar, it was class. God. The old cavalcade of sequels was unnecessary all by itself, with H20 as a decent exception (it ignores everything after 2). Of course, they have to think about it like a goddamned "franchise". Franchises are for french fries and fried chicken. Movies are stories and if you get your story wrong, people will not overlook it, but will instead overlook your future product.
July 4, 2002, 9:50 a.m. CST
The first was the best, and number 2 just reeked of raping a cash cow. Never seen any of the other films. Have no desire. I would rather watch a marathon of Star Trek Voyager, than pay money to see any more Halloween sequels. Jeebus, people, why do you see these films? Are you all masochists?
July 4, 2002, 1:53 p.m. CST
Another sequel in a franchise that manages to rape everything the original created. Per chance did George Lucas have anything to do with this movie.
July 4, 2002, 2:12 p.m. CST
I am new to AICN but it seems that Rick Rosenthal might have fucked Moriarty's sister. I always thought it would take more then a bad director to ruin a movie. To say a movie is "not worthy of a review" is soft. Please let me know when Moriarty's first film is released so I can marvel at his pure cinematic perfection. "Bad Boys" was solid! I like the sock beating!
July 4, 2002, 5:59 p.m. CST
however you saw the movie you answered every fear i had about this gay movie. i made predictions that are almost exactly what you revealed. this movie is predictable before i see it and before i read reviews of those who have seen it. it is pathetic and i hope to god no one sees this. i mean anyone living especially busta is a no no. i want him in a body bag or no halloween 7,8 9 or whatever the hell this one is. thats it
July 4, 2002, 7:51 p.m. CST
First off: brilliant review. I wish this movie hadn't been made; make a statement with your wallets,people. We don't want this watered-down horror they've been forcing on us,we want to see some irony-free(notice I said IRONY, not HUMOR)movies that scare the crap out of us,featuring intelligent scripts and people who can actually act. And that whole "switching with the ambulance driver" explanation is total bullshit. Why didn't he rip off the mask and yell "Please don't kill me!"
July 5, 2002, 1:24 a.m. CST
The only Halloween movies worth a crap were the first two. III was an experiment gone horribly wrong, and then the franchise lost its way. IMHO, the true Halloween storyline ended at part 2. Now and forever, Poops McGee
July 5, 2002, 10:40 a.m. CST
by Jango Matt
How long till we get Micheal Myers in space? I'd laugh if this whole thing wasn't so damn depressing......and just as a point of interest, has anyone noticed how all the actors theyve had play Micheal since the first Halloween (my favorite film of all time, by the way) hasnt' been nearly as tall or built as Nick Castle, the original Shape?
July 5, 2002, 4:58 p.m. CST
No comment really. Just wanted to peep in see what all the hubbub was about, then peep out. And I loved the first 2 Halloween's. The 3rd was cool on its own right, but it should've been a separate film. If Carpenter wanted to do different films per Halloween, he shouldn't have done part 2. By 3 it was too late, the shape was in our veins. Part 4 was okay, it would've been better if they'd have come up with a halfway feasible explanation for why he didn't die and then his return. That stupid coma thing doesn't work in Steven Seagal movies and doesn't work here. Part 5 was alright until the dumbass at the end with the uzi. Part 6 blew big brown ass chunks. One of the worst films I've ever seen. I only went to see the last because Jamie Lee Curtis was in it. It would've been pretty cool if it hadn't ended before it started. This next one sounds bad... I don't think I'll see any more Halloween's unless Carpenter comes back with Debra Hill to write and direct. Okay, I'm a glutton for punishment. I'll use my freebie of the month at blockbuster to pick it up. Damn, that was a long ass no comment.
July 5, 2002, 8:44 p.m. CST
For Halloween's first TV appearance, Carpenter borrowed the crew as they were shooting "II" to do additional scenes and reshoots. http://www.south-over.demon.co.uk/halloween/halloween_theshape.htm Not doubting you at all Mori, about the "II" reshoots, but was it partly a coincidental thing as reshoots were being done for "I" as well? (This is the first I have heard of any of this obviously and I am curious)
July 5, 2002, 10:57 p.m. CST
Please someone stop Miramax/Dimension films from destroying the classic movies of my youth! Why do they insist on taking fabulous movies like Halloween, The Crow, The Prophecy, From Dusk til Dawn and Hellraiser and making crap sequels less scary than Nancy Drew books directed by hacks who care not for what made the originals so wonderful. Are the Weinstein brothers crack addicts or something? This just ads to insult to the news of the Texas Chainsaw remake. It is truly a sad time to be a horror movie fan.
July 8, 2002, 8:16 a.m. CST
God, I'll be laughing at that line this whole week. Thanks Moriarty!
July 10, 2002, 12:34 p.m. CST
Man....what a sad, sad state horror films are in these days. The first time I saw the trailer for Halloween: Ressurection I let out an extremely loud cry of "BULLSHIT" in the movie theater, which the audience didn't seem to appreciate. I was hoping they weren't going to do this. I'm a huge fan of Halloween, and the Michael Myers character. Putting up with crappy sequels made me estatic that they killed him off at a high point with H20, the final showdown between Laurie and Mike. This new sequel looks to be a piece of rotten monkey shit baking in the hot sun. Horrible story set up. Horrible excuse as to why Michael survived being decapitated. Horrible EVERYTHING about this movie. This movie is just straight up formula horror film, and I got this just from the trailer! Give Michael the respect he deserves! Unfortunately, I will end up seeing this movie out of curiousity alone. Don't worry, I WON'T be paying for it. I'd rather run the risk of getting caught sneaking into this thing.
July 12, 2002, 7:22 p.m. CST
by King Assassin
Moriarity...that's kind of a stupid statement to put in a review when there's never a reason in the movie for Tyra Banks to act like she's in pain. Tyra Banks was killed *off screen* and her character is never aware that Michael Myers is even there at the house. Never mind Tyra's acting skills...I'm questioning your reviewing skills.
July 14, 2002, 10:56 p.m. CST
by Off The TV
Feel free to check out WWW.OFFTHETV.COM for another review of Halloween Resurrection. - Dave Dave@offthetv.com WWW.OFFTHETV.COM
July 17, 2002, 10:40 a.m. CST
I am serious. You have absolutely no clue what you are talking about. They didnt explain anything about why Michael went bad. The highchair in the closet. The small locked room with chains. Those were all set up by Busta Rhymes' character and his crew. There was no explanation of anything about Michael and his killings. Also I have to disagree that Tyra Banks can act. Quite well actually. You seem to just want to have something to flame and since this movie is the "8th" in the series you feel the need to jump on it? This movie actually reads like part 4 because it and H20 completely ignore 3-6 like they never happened. This movie was good. And also with Michael listening to Rhymes' character, I think that he did that because he was confused to have "himself" yelling at him. I am sorry but this movie was a good one. Maybe not the best ever, but it was good.
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