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Don't Call The Ambulance! Seagal Ain't Dead Yet! HALF PAST DEAD'

Hey folks, Harry here... So far, we've had a pretty decent year of fun films. We've seen a trailer for a STAR TREK film that doesn't bear strong suck marks throughout. There is a Adam Sandler movie in our future that probably could be considered as intensely intelligent and heartfelt. Well... Think about it. It is a time for miracles, could Seagal have actually made a quality action film? The real question though is this... If Steven Seagal made a great action film, would any of us really give it a chance because of the agony and suffering that was ON DEADLY GROUND? Seagal was allegedly in Austin the other day at the Continental Club where AICN bopper, Johnny Wadd was wagging his third leg with the beat. Totally non-related, I'm just throwing that out there, because Johnny Wadd rarely adds relevance to AICN notes from time to time... But anyways, here ya go... Take the following review with MOUNTAINS OF SALT....

Hey Harry,

Looks like we may have a helluva sleeper on our hands.

I had the good fortune (yes, I said 'good') to catch a test screening of Half Past Dead last night in El Segundo and wanted to pass along some early buzz. I love action movies, but there is almost nothing as frustrating as sitting through two boring hours of chasing scenes stolen from other movies and battles where even a child could figure out who was going to win. That is why I absolutely loved Half Past Dead--it took the best parts of great action movies and kept out most of the other stupid crap.

When the movie started, I thought that I was watching Exit Wounds for the one-millionth time. I groaned thinking that I had already figured everything out. Fortunately, I was wrong. The story appears familiar: Ja Rule and Steven Seagal play captured thieves who get sent to the brand new Alcatraz and find out a secret from an inmate about to be electrocuted.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

You see, the inmate is the only person who knows where 200 million worth of gold is. The action really kicks into gear when Morris Chestnut (who actually pulls off the ultimate tough guy) and his team blow their way into the prison to start the chaos. Pretty soon, everyone is trying to outmanuever everyone in order to get the gold.

(END OF SPOILERS)

The acting was great--Ja Rule easily outdid his Fast and Furious performance. Even as a middle-aged man with a ponytail, Steven Seagal still qualifies as a badass. And Kurupt cracked me up. Plus, the special effects were tight -- with the requistie Matrix-style action scenes -- especially this one scene with the lead female (Nia Peeples) kicking ass.

The cut looked a little rough assuming there's still a little post-production work to be done. But, all in all, I was very pleasantly surprised with the film. This may just be the sleeper hit of the season. I think it comes out in November.

Later.

-Paul G.

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i don't get it...
by tommy5tone
Jul 3rd, 2002
08:15:07 AM
Can you spell p-l-a-n-t?
by glippyglipson
Jul 3rd, 2002
08:25:52 AM
Was that the one with Micheal Caine in it. I think that's o
by scorpio2nd
Jul 3rd, 2002
08:51:23 AM
Sorry that came out wrong, i meant to say what's your favour
by scorpio2nd
Jul 3rd, 2002
08:55:11 AM
Jar Jar Rule
by Max Rockatansky
Jul 3rd, 2002
09:17:42 AM
Requisite Matrix-like Action..........
by Rondo
Jul 3rd, 2002
09:51:29 AM
It's Seagal
by Boston
Jul 3rd, 2002
09:57:30 AM
Seagal is a bad joke
by VincentSpain
Jul 3rd, 2002
10:10:43 AM
Are any of his movies really that good?
by SnapperHead
Jul 3rd, 2002
10:15:19 AM
Look further than Ja Rule
by Soul_Assassin
Jul 3rd, 2002
10:18:55 AM
huh?
by PriestYoungblood
Jul 3rd, 2002
10:24:15 AM
"What does it take to change the essence of a man?"
by Osmosis Jones
Jul 3rd, 2002
10:33:54 AM
On Deadly Ground.
by statto4ever
Jul 3rd, 2002
10:35:47 AM
Double Team
by Max Rockatansky
Jul 3rd, 2002
10:42:53 AM
Will Sasso + Seagall's album
by Tar Heel
Jul 3rd, 2002
10:46:21 AM
I'd rather watch a Seagal film than most of today's Holl
by Abyss
Jul 3rd, 2002
10:53:46 AM
I really liked Missy the little pony in THE PATRIOT
by Blake Falls
Jul 3rd, 2002
10:54:45 AM
An analysis of Ja Rule's lines in The Fast and the Furious
by akbose01
Jul 3rd, 2002
11:04:33 AM
seagal shoulda been the kingpin!
by tommy5tone
Jul 3rd, 2002
11:14:02 AM
Ja Rule easily outdid his Fast and Furious performance....
by Aronld Scazziger
Jul 3rd, 2002
11:43:16 AM
I'm with Boston...
by Dru
Jul 3rd, 2002
11:45:07 AM
PS to Tommy5Tone...
by Dru
Jul 3rd, 2002
11:51:42 AM
This isn't just a plant, it's a whole friggin' garde
by zacdilone
Jul 3rd, 2002
11:53:55 AM
Hey, all you gay-boys!!
by andrecrabtree111
Jul 3rd, 2002
12:11:02 PM
Aikido?
by mbeemer
Jul 3rd, 2002
12:22:34 PM
Seagal rise in direct correlation with...
by ZSmooth
Jul 3rd, 2002
12:30:29 PM
thanks, dru
by tommy5tone
Jul 3rd, 2002
12:41:56 PM
Abyss, WHAT?!?!
by KillThrustKill
Jul 3rd, 2002
01:30:10 PM
Plant? Probably.
by SPY-der
Jul 3rd, 2002
01:56:45 PM
Plant - Yeah Dude, Of Course!
by wmorris99
Jul 3rd, 2002
02:14:27 PM
Not convincing there bud
by Vern
Jul 3rd, 2002
03:08:31 PM
great title,great plot + seagal = box office gold!
by Not The Messiah
Jul 3rd, 2002
03:37:44 PM
great title,great plot + seagal = box office gold!
by Not The Messiah
Jul 3rd, 2002
03:37:44 PM
great title,great plot + seagal = box office gold!
by Not The Messiah
Jul 3rd, 2002
03:37:45 PM
great title,great plot + seagal = box office gold!
by Not The Messiah
Jul 3rd, 2002
03:37:45 PM
oops my bad!
by Not The Messiah
Jul 3rd, 2002
03:38:52 PM
this is so obvious a plant that I am laughing out loud
by stuftseveredhead
Jul 3rd, 2002
05:10:48 PM
The funny thing about Seagal's work is they surpass the prev
by Tarl_Cabot
Jul 3rd, 2002
05:22:39 PM
Nia Peeples . . .
by ProzacMorris
Jul 3rd, 2002
05:24:48 PM
Ahh, good old steven
by TS Thomas
Jul 3rd, 2002
05:39:40 PM
a great idea...
by sigma957
Jul 3rd, 2002
05:52:08 PM
ProZack
by sigma957
Jul 3rd, 2002
05:53:57 PM
I agree, this review has to be a plant. Nobody can possibly enjo
by Tarl_Cabot
Jul 3rd, 2002
06:12:15 PM
PORNO IS A MAN NAMED SEAGAL
by TomVee
Jul 3rd, 2002
06:35:59 PM
The best interrogation of Seagal's screen persona can be fou
by SHIVA
Jul 3rd, 2002
07:24:26 PM
Seagal is A DUMB MOFO for that hypocritical and idiotic speech a
by FD Resurrected
Jul 3rd, 2002
07:37:55 PM
Great on-line parody of On Deadly Ground
by FD Resurrected
Jul 3rd, 2002
07:45:02 PM
The path to buddhist enlightenment is littered with corpses of S
by Abyss
Jul 3rd, 2002
07:47:51 PM
My favorite eye-rolling scene from On Deadly Ground was...
by BloodDonorMan
Jul 3rd, 2002
08:34:53 PM
hey, vern, thanks for reminding me about seagal versus starr!
by tommy5tone
Jul 3rd, 2002
09:42:05 PM
Seagal sucks
by SLEAZY DINOSAUR
Jul 4th, 2002
12:55:13 AM
So is that the title or a description of the careers of it's
by kodiak_j
Jul 4th, 2002
04:09:36 AM
eye rolling scene from On Deadly Ground
by Mandolorian
Jul 4th, 2002
12:35:44 PM
Bring on Above the Law 2
by Mandolorian
Jul 4th, 2002
12:45:05 PM
After i posted yesterday my friend decided to show me under sieg
by scorpio2nd
Jul 4th, 2002
01:04:12 PM
Ah i see now NewYorkKid. I hated My Father The Hero at first be
by scorpio2nd
Jul 4th, 2002
02:38:59 PM
Did anyone hear this Seagal anecdote? about the $1,000,000 bet?
by jackburtonlives
Jul 4th, 2002
09:18:24 PM
I truly believe every word of this JackBurtonLives. I also beli
by scorpio2nd
Jul 4th, 2002
09:38:44 PM
sorry scorpio dude, you misunderstood
by jackburtonlives
Jul 4th, 2002
10:56:08 PM
michael dudikoff
by jackburtonlives
Jul 4th, 2002
11:15:23 PM
Look no farther: STEVE JAMES IS HERE!!!
by stevejamesninja
Jul 5th, 2002
12:56:36 AM
The Seagal "versus 50 martial arts guys" story sounds like a loa
by Abyss
Jul 5th, 2002
11:11:18 AM
Seagal's Lowest Point
by Jeffem
Jul 5th, 2002
05:10:38 PM
DoEs SeaGaL biTChsLAP bAD gUYs?
by Louis P.
Jul 6th, 2002
02:14:47 AM
Seagal's Credentials
by jackburtonlives
Jul 6th, 2002
06:11:24 AM
In response to Jackburtonlives
by Buscemi 01
Jul 6th, 2002
03:28:20 PM
My Opinion of Seagal
by jackburtonlives
Jul 7th, 2002
12:32:40 AM
Seagal/Bob Wall Challenge Link
by jackburtonlives
Jul 7th, 2002
12:54:17 AM
but who cares?
by jackburtonlives
Jul 7th, 2002
06:10:31 AM
you've got to let these thing go, man!
by Abyss
Jul 7th, 2002
12:29:29 PM
all right, abyss and NYKid, old jack says uncle
by jackburtonlives
Jul 7th, 2002
07:33:46 PM

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