Hey folks, Harry here... I hate that this is the movie that is getting crapped on by advanced reviews thus far. I love Harrison Ford... well what he used to represent in Summer Cinema... Thoughtful, well-acted, well-written, adventurous and daring film-making. In recent years, that has really fallen by the wayside. I miss the Harrison that made Raiders, Witness, Mosquito Coast, Blade Runner, Frantic... Hell I miss the Harrison Ford that made FORCE 10 FROM NAVARONE. However, on the otherside of the picture, I did talk to two very astute filmgoers this weekend that saw K-19... and both of them liked it and Harrison Ford quite a bit... So while Aslan-6 here didn't care for the film... there are people out there that did. Maybe you'll be one of them? We'll see...
Harry,
Loved AICN for a while, this is my first contribution. And I relay the following words of sorrow as a warning to all who might view K-19 The Widowmaker.
K-19 opens with about 2 min of script, you know the typical Hollywood "Based on true events..., in 1961 the world was on the brink of nuclear war..., this story could not be told until now...crap." And when the actual movie starts it only gets worse.
It seems that Mother Russia in all her snow-covered vodka drinking glory has built the world's greatest (they also refer to it as "finest" though we have no idea what makes it so great) submarine. The communist party heads are so anxious to show off this vessel that they set it out to sea before its construction is complete. Yes you heard me right, they put a submarine they are still building out to sea. If you were ever wondering why we won the cold war boys, this is a great example.
The ship's captain is played by Harrison Ford who actually looks embarrased several times by his own attempt at a Russian accent. His 1st officer is the K-19's former captain played by Liam Neason who clearly wishes Darth Maul would appear and put him out of his misery. Now I'm no film expert but I think that Harrison is a bad and Liam is good. I know this because in this movie when Harrison sees a member of his crew he frowns at them and when Liam sees one he smiles, and they in turn smile back. And gentlemen that's about as in depth as this film's relationships get.
Now I don't want to spoil it for those foolish enough to suffer through the best feel good movie since Shindler's List. But lets just say the film's plot involves radiation leakage that causes everyone's skin to fall off (gross not cool) and we watch as the men scream in pain and look like someone just strangled their puppy. I know, I know after being soooo depressed by those awful movies Spider-man and Bourne Identity here is finally a perfect pick me up summer movie, filled with pointless and boring dialogue and not a shred of action.
Did you ever see a movie so bad that you thought it was going to end 5 times and it just kept going. Unlike K-19's crew members this film just would not die. At one point I was so bored I began to envy those who passed away up on screen as they didn't have to suffer through the rest of the movie.
I remember reading a few weeks ago that Harrison had agreed to pick up the whip again for Indy 4 and I thought why would he do that. Now I know, he fears this film could poison his career. To Harrison I would say, it's OK if nobody sees this movie, nobody will know how much it sucks.
On that note, my warning delivered, I'm out like like the fat kid in dodge ball.
Aslan-6
