Ally McBeal 5.21 FAQ
What’s it called?
“Bygones.”
Who’s responsible?
Teleplay credited to series creator David E. Kelley.
“After five years of quirky characters, capricious fantasies and legal frivolities, the gavel comes down on this series, as Ally (Calista Flockhart) makes a life-changing decision. Prompted by concern for her daughter Maddie (Hayden Panettiere), Ally makes a shocking announcement to the firm, directly on the heels of another bombshell from Richard. Ally's news brings back original cast members Lisa Nicole Carson, Courtney Thorne-Smith and Gil Bellows, while Richard's bulletin leads to an appearance by Carl Reiner, who plays a man of the cloth with a peculiar affliction. And it wouldn't be a proper Ally finale without John Cage's musical muse, Barry White.”
What’s Ally’s shocking announcement?
She’s quitting Cage Fish McBeal to move to New York.
Why would Ally move to New York?
Her daughter is freaking out; she misses her friends in the Big Apple.
What’s the bombshell from Richard Fish?
He and Christina Ricci’s character are getting married.
What is TV Guide not telling us?
It’s a bad end to a bad season. You’ll swear the bulk of the episode looks like it was built from wrap-party outtakes.
The big surprise?
The return of three departed cast members only serves to add to the whole “wrap party outtake” vibe.
In other words, there’s no big surprise?
Right.
Robert Downey Jr. doesn’t turn up?
Nope.
Cage doesn’t move to New York to marry Ally?
Nope.
Judge Ling doesn’t return to win Fish back?
Nope.
Liza Bump doesn’t get cold feet?
Nope.
Ally’s kid doesn’t get smooshed by a Bon Jovi tour bus?
Nope.
What’s good?
There’s a brief, dramatic teaser setting Ally’s final episode in montion. And I actually caught myself out loud when Barry Humphries’ character, Claire Otoms, introduced herself to Carl Reiner in the unisex bathroom.
What’s not so good?
The affliction that constantly grips the Reiner character – he goes “vasovagal” when emotional – quickly grows tedious beyond imagining, and is emblemic of the crippling tonal difficulties “Ally” has endured lo these past three seasons.
This is airing opposite the “Angel” season finale. Should I bother to tape this final “Ally”?
Eh, I wouldn’t bother. Let's hope Kelley tightens things up for "Girls Club," the female-lawyer show he's prepping for Ally's timeslot this autumn.
How does it end, spoiler-boy?
Outside Vonda’s bar, Ally – wearing the teensiest minidress ever – bids adieu to Nell, Georgia, Fish, Renee, Cage and the ghost of Billy Thomas. “Looking back,” her voiceover proclaims, “many of the saddest times in my life turn out to be the happiest. So I must be happy now. Yeah. This is going to be good. Why else would I be crying?”
Herc’s rating for “Ally McBeal” 5.21?
*1/2
The Hercules T. Strong Rating System:
- ***** better than we deserve
- **** better than most motion pictures
- *** actually worth your valuable time
- ** as horrible as most stuff on TV
- * makes you quietly pray for bulletins
Smell this shoe!
I am – Hercules!!
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