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Princess X Has Seen The WB's BIRDS OF PREY & WHAT I LIKE
SPOILER ALERT !!
WB only announced its fall schedule Tuesday, but “Princess X” has already seen two of its shows:
The networks have been making their fall series announcements this week in New York. In Los Angeles, videotapes of the hotly anticipated pilots have been snuck, scavenged, and passed and around from person to person – traded on the sly like valuable goods. “I’ll give you Fast Lane, and CSI Miami for Firefly” “Nope, got ‘em, but I’ll trade John Doe for Amanda Bynes” and so on. As the various pilots make their way into my greedy paws, I’ll give you a quick report. Here are two gems from those lucky, lucky bastards at Tollin Robbins. Yes (to steal a joke) the people who brought you “Good Burger”.
“Amanda Bynes” aka “What I Like About You”.
If you liked “My Sister Sam”….well….you’re on your own. Amanda Bynes, the cutie-pie who grew up on Nickelodeon, has her own show on the WB. Okay, it’s not just her own show, we also get the pleasure of Jennie Garth’s company. Amanda plays a (15?) year old girl whose father (Peter Scolari) has just accepted a big-deal job in Japan. But Amanda no likey Japan. Wait, she has an idea, why doesn’t she just move in with her older sister (Jennie Garth) and finish high school in New York. Aww, honey, says pa, your sister just got rid of her roommate. (okay wait….not “it’s dangerous”, or “you’re still a kid”….”just got rid of her roommate”). Amanda talks her obviously negligent Father into the idea, with the caveat that Big Sis has to agree. Leave that to me, Says Amanda, I’ll go stay with her for a week and it’ll be a slam-dunk. Oh, let the comedy ensue.
Still waiting for comedy to ensue. Probably still be waiting in October. November. December. Basically I’ll be waiting as long as this series goes, which may be a considerable amount of time. For all of you who kept “Saved by the Bell” on for the hundred years it aired, this is your new passion. It’s simple, inoffensive, and Amanda’s charming in an “I grew up on TV” affable kind of way. Back to our story…Amanda goes to stay with Jennie Garth, and makes a huge mess of everything that is right with her sister’s life. First, she almost kills the dog of a potential client. Second, Amanda feng shui’s the entire apartment (ha ha ha ha bed in the kitchen ha ha ha). Then, the big finish: Big Sister is throwing a super-important PR bash on a rooftop to launch a new skateboard line. It’s, like, sooooo important for Jennie’s career. Tony Hawk, skateboarder to the stars, is going to do some stunting, and everything will be just perfect and exciting and many skateboards will be sold. Or is it? Bring on the physical comedy. Bring it on….seriously…..bring…oh never mind. Amanda of course, accidentally drops Tony’s skateboard off the side of the roof onto the fire escape. She goes down to get it, gets locked out, takes a side door and…..ends up coming in right in Tony’s path as he’s stunting on a borrowed board. Broken leg for Tony, everything’s ruined for Big Sister. Now, because this is the WB and not the real world – guess what – Amanda gets to stay. She and Jennie have a big sisterly heart to heart, they love each other, and wouldn’t it be a great idea if Amanda moved in to the apartment? And thus a series is born. Amanda Bynes’ is pretty cute, but relies too much on the googly-eyed double-take that served her so well on Nick. Plus her hair is waaaay too done for a teen. A blow-out? Plu-eeze. Jennie Garth is fine, looking pretty hot, actually, and more animated than I remember her ever being on 90210. The future series is the lead-in on Friday night to “Sabrina”. It will involve more urban adventures, more physical antics, and more of Amanda’s misguided attempts to get everything right while failing miserably. If I was 13, I would love this. But I’m not. So I don’t. Next.
> “Birds of Prey”
“Birds of Prey” has much for the hormonal male teenager as well, providing they turn off the sound. AICN readers will know exactly how I felt about this self-absorbed series version of the comic franchise. The pilot is absolutely true to the script I reviewed lo those many moons ago. Oracle and Huntress are scrapping about their destiny (one for, one against) and Dinah tracks them down to become one of them (crime-fighters, that is). At that time, I had given the script props for being beautifully descriptive and atmospheric. Now it’s confusing, and poorly paced. Booooring. Zzzzzzzzzzz.
Whine, whine, whine. Just because Huntress (Ashley Scott) is quite unbelievably hot, doesn’t temper the fact that she’s still a navel-gazing, self-proclaimed martyr. And what’s with the Oracle (Dina Meyer) , technical puppet master wearing “make me look smart” glasses in a wheelchair….has no one seen “Dark Angel”? Seen it! (moment of silence for Dark Angel please). Rachel Skarsten (Dinah) is a cutie, sort of a Sarah Polley look-alike, and the one character you actually could warm up to, if she was given any real scenes. The other two just snap and bitch at each other. The plot is so convoluted and incidental, you stop trying to follow it. The best unintentional laughs are still when Dinah finds the photo of the Bad Guy & Family on the Joker’s old desk.
I’m just not sure what the point of the series is. It’s not fun, as none of the girls enjoy the gifts and abilities they have. It’s not insightful, as it’s hard to relate to bitter, resentful leads characters. It’s not adventure. And it doesn’t even involve much crime fighting, as right now Huntress defends the weak to blow off steam, then bitches about it the rest of the time. There’s no one to like, no one to admire. There’s no sense of a larger plan, bigger goals, a mission statement, or classic mythology that would drive a continuing series. I have to also say that I think Huntress & Oracle are too old for the WB crowd. (gasp – late 20’s early 30s) If they’re cast older to attract adults to the network, then they have got to be given a heck of a lot more depth of character.
One last note on the look. It has very high production value. Every dollar is on the screen. Dark blacks, slick streets, great stunts, nice effects. However, I give a big thumbs down to Huntress’ “outfit” (No “dorky” costumes, she wants to look like she’s going clubbing). Not Matrix Prada, not Rock Star cool - Pure Victoria’s Secret Bondage line. Long black shiny sheer coat over leather bustier, tight pants, and lace-up boots. She looks like the clothes are wearing her, and they itch to boot. For those who care – Oracles’ in black on black (a la Michael Weatherly), normal except for the hair. What is with the WB hair!! Enough with the blow-outs!! Even Dinah has a blow-out, and she’s supposed to be practically homeless!
Ashley Scott (Huntress) is a real star, and is fabulously beautiful. If she had better material, she would be magnetic. Sherilyn Fenn guests as Dr. Arlene Quinn, and she’s lost so much weight I didn’t recognize her until the very end. If this is supposed to be a series, and one that stays on the air – them Tollin Robbinses better give these good-looking babes something to do besides bitch about their lot in life. As it is, I give it until October, unless America needs an hour of shut-eye after “Dawsons”.
Princess X
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May 17, 2002 8:24:34 AM CDT
Ohhhhh, gaaarrrroovee! This is going to suck like Black Scorpion
by wardog
Don't these asshole studio execs get it? Superhero TV shows don't cut it anymore. MANTIS failed, Black Scorpion failed, the Tick failed. What makes them think a 3X Dark Angel (complete with wheelchair-bound character) is going to succeed? Imbeciles! I feel sorry for the actresses. They're going to look like so much cotton candy for the few eps they do run, and then their careers will hit a big speed bump.
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The plot sounds alright but there are so many bad reviews about it, I still don't understand why they changed the Huntress from Helena post to Helena Pre crisis of infinite Earth's and why would Barbara Gordon have to teach Helena all to know about being a crime fighter, she is Batman's and Catwoman's daughter.
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I'm sorry but she doesn't sound so much like a fan as she sounds like a low level Hollywood worker who is mad that others are making it in Hollywood while she remains undiscovered . I have friends I've grown up with in L.A. who were at that point a few years ago .( bitching about every new movie and nit picking it to death. and if it made money then it was just the worst stuff ever.) two of them are successful now and a lot more relaxed than they used to be when they were struggling .
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Superhero TV shows don't cut it anymore? You should be sure to tell the WB that because clearly they need to cancel Smallville immediately. I'm sure they'll be very grateful to you for bringing that information to their attention. You should also tell them to cancel Angel because it has too many of the traits of a superhero show also. And while you're at it, call UPN and tell them to cancel Buffy before it leads them to higher ratings again.
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It's Harlene Quinzel, or Harley Quin ... Get it> never mind.
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Too much hotness is wasted on bad TV. Why can't she land a decent gig?
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I have to admit: This is the only new drama for the fall that I'm interested in checking out. Everything else looks like a clone of CSI (CBS shall henceforth be referred to as the "CSI Broadcasting Service"), or yet another lawyer/legal drama. Firefly I might also check out but I don't have high hopes for it. It looks like another damn starship-show, and that captain does eerily look like Marc Blucas. (And it's already being described as a "western in space." Gee, how original.) At least with Birds of Prey, we get three hot women, and the first live-actor depiction of Harley Quinn. This could work as a variant on Charlie's Angels (the old series, not the movie). I expect Mr. Smegma to praise this series highly next season.
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Birds of Prey, yes. Girls' Club, no. Sherilyn Finn as Harley, yes. Get Alicia Witt to show up as Poison Ivy and I'll be a happy man.
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Alica Witt no get Angelica Brudges...
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Why is it that whenever there is a character that is similar to another, people think that one is copying the other?
Birds of Prey (the comic) has had a bespectactled redhead in a wheelchair since before Dark Angel was a gleam in James Cameron's pants.
Hell, Wiseguy had a guy in a wheelchair, as did Mantis. Hell, Ironside had a guy in a wheelchair: did all these copy from one another?
Dark Angel should be glad it got two seasons worth of time. It was bad.
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Smallville is not a superhero show. It's Dawson's Creek with a dash of Buffy thrown in about a guy who will BECOME a superhero. But he doesn't run around looking for crimes to stop every week, shit just happens. I know you'll call me either nitpicky, retarded, or full of shit, but so be it. The old Superboy show was a superhero show. And a bad one at that. Question for Herc or Princess X: Did Mark Hamill do the Joker voice cameo as rumored?
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UNfortunately, it is impossible to tallk about developing a DC comics character into a movie without mentioning one of the worst storylines of all time: "Crisis on Infinite Earths." The people in charge at DC decided that they needed to make the characters 'fresh,' 'new,' and 'exciting' again. So they destroyed the DC universe and RE-IMAGINED it. And we all know how well that usually works... *** When I read Princess X's previous post on this, I instantly realized who the intended market was: Teen girls overdosing on "GRRRRRL POW-UH," and horny geek guys that want to see skin. All these characters seem to do is whine, bitch, complain, and apparently look like they walked out of a 90210 clone. You want to know what the REAL attack of the clones is? Poorly written Xena/Buffy/Alias/Nikita/Dark Angel programs that show flavor of the month "hotties" kicking ass to appeal to the GRRRRRL POW-UH demographic, but dressed in tight skimpy clothes to appeal to the all the horny guys that cannot get laid, or anyone that wants to bed one of the 20-something girls that appear half-dressed almost everywhere you look these days. Dina Meyer is not a bad actress, not a great one either, but from what I have seen, not bad. I never cared for Sherilyn Fenn, so seeing her as Harley Quinn might not be bad, but I'll never know because I won't be watching it. *** If DC continues to make Comic Book adaptations, why not use the 6-part mini-series about the Silver age Green Lantern, "Emerald Dawn." Spend the time and the money on a PLOT as well as the special effects. As Luca$ Schumaker have shown us, all the money you spend on sets and special effects does NOT make up for a missing plot, bad acting, and horrendous dialoge. I won't turn this into an AOTC board - that is already up and no matter what I say someone will flame it. But back to the subject at hand *** Birds of Prey is a bad idea, with enough good concepts and girlflesh to attract geeks, teen girls, and horny, single guys. We HAD Dark Angel, and it was cancelled for a REASON. Bringing it back in another form is not needed.
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May 19, 2002 2:08:27 PM CDT
I'm not prone to letting one person tell me what to think..
by voice o. reason
I'm just going to try to remind everyone that DARK ANGEL didn't start the female action star trend...XENA and LA FEMME NIKITA did. This "trend" has already given us stellar shows like "Alias" and "Buffy", some not-so-great shows like "Dark Angel", and some OH-MY-GOD-TURN-IT-OFF shows ("VIP", "Highlander: the Raven", "Black Scorpion", "Cleopatra 2525", etc.) The idea that "Birds of Prey" is a rip-off is quite amusing considering the comic has been around so much longer than "Dark Angel". So, will I give "Bird of Prey" a try? Hell yeah! Will I like it? Well, gee, I dunno, since I HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET. People: one (1) person has given you two bad reviews of it. Is that REALLY a reason to bash a show? And just so the opinion will be out there: CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTH was an excellent mini-series that gave DC characters a MUCH needed face-lift and lead to some GREAT comics (i.e. BATMAN: YEAR ONE, John Byrnes' MAN OF STEEL...the true inspiration for both "Lois and Clark" and "Smallville", George Perez's run on WONDER WOMAN, the current JSA mag, just to name a few).
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i don't think princess x is what they seem. i believe princess x is a guy, because no girl talks that way. some girls may say another chick's hot, but it's almost always someone you personal know. i know if one of my chick friends say "wow that chick is victorian bondage hot,"
i'd think she was playing for the other team, hence princess x is a MAN! i hope you all enjoy my thoughts, if not, whatever.
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