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A SCOOBY DOO Review that calls the movie '$h:t'!!!
Harry here... I've been hearing nightmare stories about the post production process on this movie, but all stuff that I haven't had confirmed, so I've been letting it go. As I've been accused of being hard on this wretching load of steaming dog shit coming to a theater near you. Parents! Read this review, if you really think this humor is appropriate for your pre-teens, take em. Frankly, as a child raised on CHEECH AND CHONG, I wouldn't mind... but SCOOBY DOO isn't CHEECH AND CHONG. Hell, nobody is CHEECH AND CHONG anymore, not even CHEECH AND CHONG. Anyway, here's Jub Jub with his look. It is brutal...
Please call me Jub-Jub,
I accidently sent this review without a name just a minute ago.
So please, Jub-Jub would be fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Folks,
Let me be quick to nip this in the bud. All this "It isn't as bad as we feared!" talk is utter and complete shite.
This "film", er, "movie" is just about the most joyless, useless thing I've ever seen in my life.
Where do I begin?
The opening five minutes is about the only thing likely to please those nostalgic types who want to recapture thier childhood memories of Scooby. Not that these five minutes are at all decent, but they follow the tried and true Scooby formula. Old factory, ghost, the unmasking, meddling kids, etc. What is certainly not going to bring you back to kiddie glee is the CGI abomination prancing around the screen. Is it me, or are the CGI characters getting worse? The thing is just scary looking.
But no CGI is scarier than the site of Freddie Prinze Jr., blonde, on a 50ft movie screen. This guy sucks. One begins to seethe with anger everytime he's on screen.
As for the girls, non-descript. Buffy fans I'm sure will be amused at the sight of Sarah Michelle Gellar, because she's Sarah Michelle Gellar. The Velma girl is forgetable.
As for Shaggy, though it pains me to say it, Matthew Lillard does nail it. Though I hope I never see him in anything else ever again, due to past crimes against humanity, he does do a good job.
Anyhow, after the initial five minutes, the Scooby team gets in an argument about who solved the mystery and disbands. A couple years later we find Shaggy and Scooby on a beach in the Mystery Machine, where they are approached to go solve a mystery at the Spooky Island Amusement Park. Here the other team members converge on thier own quests to solve the mystery and get thier reward money.
At Spooky Island they are confronted with the horror of all horrors, Rowan Atkinson. God, I wish the guy would go away. (I never fell for that Mr.Bean b.s.) Anyway, it seems all the theme park patrons are leaving as mindless zombies, just as you will leave the theater.
I could go on, but not even an apperance by Scrappy Doo (who I never liked anyway) could save this one. Oh, let's not forget the unnessessary marijuana jokes (scooby snacks are toted around in a baggie, smoke pours out of the mystery machine windows. Which seem like they were added to try to add a single laugh to the movie, (I'm sure the 8 year olds will be rolling in the asiles with the weed jokes).
Simply put, the movie is shit. The comedic flair of the cast (save Lillard) is non existent, the script is awful, and the CGI SUCKED. I just don't get it. Ripe source material that's cherished by millions, and they still screwed it up. But then again, it's hard to get pissed, because we knew it would suck.
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Had to do it. Sorry.
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Criticizing an actor's ability is on the mark. Critiquing their work in a movie while comparing it to their past work is fine, too. But I'm getting tired of reading reviews that are full of bile and spew toward specific actors for NO DEFINED REASON AT ALL. "I wish Rowan Atkinson would go away"? "I seethe with anger toward Freddie Prinze"? Why? I've never understood why some folks SEETHE WITH ANGER toward actors. They're just actors. Critique them and shut up.
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May 15, 2002 8:56:14 AM CDT
I dunno can it really be as bad as say 'The Avengers' fr
by lazymanschair
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Got early early screening passes, I am going to see it at 7:30pm tonight baby! Wait...oh Damn this is the Scooby Doo talk back. Well it will be worth it to see Freddie get punched out by Scooby.
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Damn, and im being forced to see this!
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Where do the people on this site come from anyway? I mean, I have a pretty strong feeling that Scooby-Doo will suck but that's why I'M NOT GOING TO SEE THE MOVIE! How did this guy catch the flick anyway? Did they give him any clues before the test screening? And if so, why didn't he go spend his 90 minutes doing something worthwhile? And what's everbody's problem with Lillard? He's an actor, not child molestor. Lay off. sk
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i met the guy after a play he did in london and he was a top bloke and definately deserved a quality film to be built around his great performance, i still might see it just for him.
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...but I feel compelled to defend both "The Avengers" movie and Rowan Atkinson. "The Avengers" was not great by any means, but it also isn't nearly as bad as it's reputation suggests. That film is a serious victim of the Hollywood machine - you chop an entire third out of *any* movie and see how cohesive it ends up being; it's amazing that it made any sense at all. Here's to hoping for a DC someday [Champagne glasses go CLINK!]. As far as Herr Atkinson goes, those who diss him have simply never seen "Blackadder"; if they had, they wouldn't be so quick to pounce.
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I predict a 125 million opening for this piece of shit.
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was the worst thing that happened to the TV show, it was all downhill from the second he opened his annoying mouth. It's sounds a lot like the film makers saw J&SBSB and realised that in a 5 minute sketch Kevin Smith had made a better Scooby Doo adaption than they could ever hope to create. No option really, they must have thought, better rip it off.........
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Who honestly thought this would be remotely good? Honestly?
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I have seen a few long scenes from this flick - that dog is plain weird. Not cute, or charming. Just kinda scary and awkward - so NOT real. But enough about Freddy Prinze, what about that Scooby? Oh. He's crap looking too.
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May 15, 2002 8:35:42 PM CDT
If I see a good review for this crap anytime soon, I'll auto
by cooldan989
I felt like moaning in pain when I was forced to sit through the godawful trailer when I went to see Spider-Man. The only remotley funny part was the "ugly broad" joke at the end. And paying for a movie just to see a joke I've already seen in the trailer sounds pretty ridiculous, dontcha think? And you know what the worst part is? This movie is going to make money. I weep for the future...
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Everybody knows why Shaggy and Scoob were always hungry for snakes!!!!
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Who actually thought this movie was going to be good. The dog looks scary as hell. Why didn't they do what the people from Cat's and Dog's did. Get a real dog and only use CGI for the closeups. Fredie Prinze Jr. why is he still getting roles, and Sarah Michelle Gellar, she is a good actress but is dooming her career with crap like this.
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I don't thin any thing can be funnier than the talking dog in "Summer of Sam". That shit had me laughing for weeks!
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May 15, 2002 9:39:58 PM CDT
Anyone who still thinks it's clever to suggest Scooby-Doo wa
by wino-forever
ought to be taken outside and shot. Likewise anyone who suggests, jokingly or not, that the Smurfs were socialists. These people are one of the worst things about college.
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Jeez, I thought this was a news site.
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hey i saw a commercial for this movie and the guy playing shaggy is perfect. what did he do that sucked anyways. i must have missed it. he was funny in scream. anyway the scooby doo does look bad though i probably won't go to see this but maybe i'll see it later next year or something like about the time i rent the new star wars movie and see it for the first time.
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This movie had "all time suck-a-thon" written all over it from the get-go. Can you say "Ishtar for the 00's?"
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"Scooby Doo." Still, Lillard's voice is shockingly close to Casey Kasem's. Maybe Lillard will have a career doing the Top 40. Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the bong!
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Scooby Doo would eat Yoda and his stupid cane.
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I agree with Blake. As I was reading this review (with my wife perched on my shoulder) we saw this guy slamming Rowan Atkinson.
Colour me shocked that anyone could judge the guy JUST on his Mr. Bean schtick (my wife's "Fuck you Jub-Jub!" summed it up well).
Blackadder was genius. When I saw
my first Bean stuff, I was surprised he could play a buffoon
so well.-------Anyone who is pissed that this new Scooby flick
isn't 'recapturing the joy of their youth' is....let's say I just have a hard time understanding your fascination with the original show. (you fucking morons....did i just type that out loud?) Weed humour in Scooby Doo, while not a terribly original idea (Kevin Smith, anyone?) and not for the kiddies,
will likely elicit at least a chuckle or two. I'm expecting this to be ludicrous and groanworthy. I'm almost tempted to see it in the theatre. I love
"kids movies" that gleefully corrupt the young. Parents, you pays your money, you takes your chances. I still remember my grandmother livid after taking me to see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Ahh, good times,
good times. -
Blackadder is comedy gold, and his early stand up stuff, with Angus Deayton playing 'straight man' is edgy and hilarious. Don't dismiss him solely because of the dragged-out Buster Keaton riff that was Mr. Bean. Am I surprised this movie bites ass? Not particularly. I don't plan to see it, unless I get ripped one night and am forced to see it by my po-mo stoner friends. Even then I don't plan to laugh. Kung Fu Velma? Ooh, it's a cunning Buffy reference. Get fucked. Weed jokes? Old hat. Freddie Prinze Jr.? He was extremely rude about Australia while shooting the film, and he's a complete ass, so I would urge him to fuck off and die.
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Ripe source material that's cherished by millions??!? What is the reviewer smoking? The original cartoon is ripe source material because it's garbage. Hundreds of cartoons repeating the same theme with bad animation in episode after episode. The source material is good for the first five minutes because that's all the Scooby Doo cartoon ever had -- five minutes of material. Of course, doing drug jokes won't go over well with the parents of the kiddie audience seeing the ads and watching the original cartoon on Kids WB. Why anyone thought that this was a viable big-budget film is beyond me. Didn't anyone learn from Josie and The Pussycats? The Flintstones worked as a film because the original cartoon was originally a prime-time affair aimed at kids and adults. Plenty of material (all not ripe). There is a good side to all this if the film does crash and burn -- Sarah Michelle Gellar will have to do an eighth season of Buffy or at least guest on the fifth season of Angel.
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Jesus christ, what a whiny bunch of fucking ex-Starbucks coffee artists.......Now that that's out of the way...as for Kevin Smith being first with the shaggy on pot jokes, I wrote a paper on that in high school 15 years ago, so get off Kevin Smith's cock for a minute....while I'm sure this movie is going to suck, I have kids so will no doubt be drug to the near multifuckplex to see it...I pray it bombs for a few reasons...it could mean a downward spiral for FPJ's career as well as SMG's career and we know what that means...she's headed for movies that'll require nudity or she'll need that PlayBoy gig to get herself back in the spotlife (after she drops fuckface for the next swinging dick that happens by) and for the record, I lke Matt Lillard, he was the balls in Scream, SLC Punk and Serial Mom and his Shaggy looks dead on from the trailers.....As for Rowan Atkinson...he's simply a cmedy god...from Blackadder to Bean t his special he did for HBO (can't think of the name at the moment, but the sketch in which he played satan's assistant had me rolling "It turns out the Mormons were right")....
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It will, through it's spectacular failure, finally end Freddie Prinze Jr's career. The thing is that all of those horrible teen flicks he makes cost nothing to make, so it's impossible for them to lose money, thus keeping him in work cranking that shit out. But this time he has an $80 million picture resting on his shoulders, as well as the shoulders of his talentless Kung-Fu Barbie girlfriend and his shrill, mugging best friend. The result is inevitable, so maybe this movie was actually a good idea. But let's face it, most of us would burn down a Romanian orphanage if it meant an end to Freddie Lillard Gellar's career.
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Hmmmm . . . the word is made up of a dollar sign, a lowercase "h", a colon, and a lowercase "t". Harry, are you trying to compare the movie to doggy droppings? Then, the title should be "SCOOBY DOO-DOO" . . . .
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May 16, 2002 3:27:31 AM CDT
I might have been tempted to listen to this guy until he dissed
by st.buggering
"Blackadder" is the hands-down funniest thing to come out of Britain since "Fawlty Towers". Not that I'm running out to see "Scooby Doo" because of this review, but it still sort of invalidates his opinion for many people here, I would imagine.
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It will be very successful simply because of its name. During the three times I went to see Spider-Man, I literally groaned each time I had to see the trailer for this schlock, but without fail it got a laugh from many of the people in the audience. Don't ask me what they found amusing, because I certainly missed it.
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I'm sorry but Lillard was awesome in Hackers. Why he took this role is beyond me. He must be low on cash or have a trophey wife or somethin. Oh yeah and I think Sherman Klump could make a butt puppet that would look more realistic than that CGI garbage. God it's WORSE than Dungeons and Dragons.. which pissed me off cuz that could of been a great flick. I hope they don't make a Dragonlance film/series and destroy it with CGI.
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i really had no idea how many lame people there are in this world? you haven't even seen the movie and you are already predicting how shit it's going to be... i remember when the very first promo shot came out for the movie and i came to this board and there were so many topics devoted to bashing the film. So obviosuly most of you are either really bored and have no lives or u can predict the future... I think im gonna go for the first option. Most of you are sitting here typing how this person is shit and that person is shit but i think that most of u are all just sore about this movie because most of u are a bunch of sheep fuckers who are upset because they don't show a close-up of Scooby's asshole... so how about all the people who dont wanna see it... simply DONT SEE IT! stop trying to make it sound like shit for everyone else...
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i bet whoever reviewed this hadn't even fucking seen it. i swear you people are so lame. just because ya'll wern't invited to the net because yall's site sucks ya'll blast the movie! you all are fucking stupid, and the box office will be big either way because of all the people who wanna see if it is bad or not.
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With out seeing the Scooby Doo movie looks awful and boooring ! The dog and the whole cast are really annoying.
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I've just come out of a press screening, and I have tp disagree with jub jub's opinion in three major points: 1. Rowan Atkinson is great (as well as Mr. Bean), 2. SM Gellar is quite alright as Daphne (even more: she's the only one of the entire cast who got the point, if you ask me), and 3. Matthew Lillard sucks so big time I had cramps every time he showed up on screen. This guy is pathetic! Otherwise, I totally agree. This movie is the biggest shite I've seen in years ... sice Meet Joe Black, 2b exact. lo
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