Movie News

Robogeek Reviews ATTACK OF THE CLONES!

Published at: May 13, 2002, 6:05 a.m. CST by staff

Hey folks, Harry here... Let me set up this review a bit by telling you where Robo is coming from here. He hates THE PHANTOM MENACE without so much as there being a single real redeeming feature for him. For the past 6 months of trailers, he has been picking apart Hayden's performance, the romance, the CG... Just about everything. He has very much gone into a film that is about enjoying yourself, to the point of seeing what is wrong with it. The facts are at screenings of this movie to large audiences, people are screaming for joy repeatedly through the film. People are left cheering about Yoda, Obi-Wan, Count Dooku, Jango Fett, the various battles, the ploting destruction of the Jedi by the Sith, John Williams' score and on and on and on. I think a lot of this is about letting go. In LAST CRUSADE it was about the grail, here it about a memory of childhood. Not many of us were jaded nitpickers when we were children fussing about realism in the STAR WARS universe. Instead it was all about that Saturday Morning Seriel being given the treatment and scale that it never had before. I love my old Larry 'Buster' Crabbe seriels. Not in the haha aren't the effects bad sort of way. Not in the, God the romance between Flash and Dale is hokey and unrealistic sort of yuk yuk am I not superior sort of way. But in the 'Oh shit Buck, how ya gonna get out of this!?!' way. Suspending disbelief and being taken into that world of oval view screens and cardboard robots and stylized dialogue that was never meant to win any awards anywhere. It is sort of like talking shit about GUN CRAZY because the dialogue is better in WHITE HEAT which you talk shit about because THE GODFATHER has more realistic portrayals. Fuck that. You judge each on its own. Otherwise, you sit in a crowded theater agreeing with a small selection of 12 or so other smug frowning head-shaking types not enjoying a wonderful fucking movie. Now prepare for an autopsy of EPISODE 2 with tons of spoilers. Frankly, I couldn't disagree more...

Greetings, citizens of the Republic/Empire! ROBOGEEK here.

These days it's rare for ol' Robo to find the time to pen a review, but I felt compelled to do so for STAR WARS: EPISODE II - ATTACK OF THE CLONES given some of the reviews I've seen on AICN. Read or read not.

For those of you keeping score at home, EPISODE II is incontrovertibly better than EPISODE I, but ultimately falls (considerably) short of the original trilogy (yes, that includes RETURN OF THE JEDI). This is either good news or bad news, depending on how you choose to look at it. But before I get into my [SPOILER-FILLED] review, allow me to provide you with three paragraphs of context, if not altogether necessary disclosure.

I despised THE PHANTOM MENACE with an ineffable depth of contempt. Three years ago, I didn't even have the stomach to review that astonishingly soulless (and racist) two-hour toy commercial that basically raped my childhood. When the movie started, I had been a devout STAR WARS fan for twenty-two years; by the time it ended, I no longer was. Something died in me (and many, many others) - and George Lucas killed it. Bastard.

However, if it so happens that you, dear reader, found any enjoyment whatsoever in MENACE, I certainly don't begrudge or judge you; on the contrary, I'm genuinely grateful you didn't suffer as I did. No one should.

As for the Holy Trinity, my opinions are pretty much in line with the majority of my generation that consider(ed) themselves STAR WARS fans: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK reigns supreme (it's a nigh-perfect, transcendently brilliant film); STAR WARS is great (charming imperfections and all); and RETURN OF THE JEDI is a flawed but enjoyable mixed bag.

Now, then...

EPISODE TWO has considerably more (and better) action than EPISODE I, and the word "midichlorians" isn't even mentioned once. It actually gives Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan Kenobi something (interesting!) to do besides sit in a starship, and Natalie Portman's Padme Amidala more to do than just show off ridiculously exotic fashions. It at long last shows us what Boba (er, Jango) Fett's badass armor can do - as well as dozens of lightsaber-wielding Jedi. It treats us to tantalizing worlds old and new with lots of yummy eye candy (including Ms. Portman). It has CHRISTOPHER LEE. It reveals once and for all exactly who Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru are/were. It has freaky Kaminoans. It shows us precisely how the Republic transforms into the Empire (though it's Jar-Jar's fault, btw).

If that's all you hope for, if that's all you want, if that's all you need to be satisfied, then read no further. Enjoy. Merry Christmas. Rock on. Glory to the hoi polloi.

BUT...

If you hope, want, and need more - like, well, a really good movie that lives up to the original trilogy - then be warned that EPISODE II still sucks more than it should, or has any right to. I mean, think about it. George is on his fifth STAR WARS movie now. What possible excuse does he have for not nailing it, especially when he's demonstrated the capability in the past? EPISODE II has no right to suck at all. And yet it does at annoyingly regular intervals.

EPISODE II opens like all STAR WARS movies, though after the title crawl, the camera pans up. Now-Senator Amidala is en route to the Republic's capital at Coruscant, via a gorgeous Art Deco chrome flying wing. (Ooo, ahh.) Upon landing and disembarking, a sudden explosion destroys the ship, and seemingly kills the Senator. Immediately, however - before we have time to register any loss - it's revealed that she was merely a decoy; Amidala was actually in one of the escort fighters, and is of course fine. (How many times have we seen this before?) Yet she blows her cover senselessly/selflessly, exposing herself to risk so she can (fleetingly) mourn her servant before being hustled off to safety.

And we don't care. At all. What should be the emotional point of entry, the dramatic springboard for the next two-plus hours just sits there, as flat and lifeless as the green screen it was shot against. And thus begins the dreadful first act, which is consistently as painful as EPISODE I - weighed down by far too much turgid, wooden, stiff dialogue, particularly in terms of excessively intrusive exposition. Didn't we have enough of this last time around? Why are people still having meetings and talking as though they're reading a bad babelfish translation? Not good.

What unfolds is a plot just as hopelessly, needlessly convoluted as EPISODE I's, which doesn't even really make sense. The original STAR WARS movies had an elegant simplicity to them that resonated, with clear dramatic through-lines and crescendos. There's little of that to be found here. Once again, Lucas seemingly goes out of his way to prevent you from getting caught up in the movie, and I only cared about what was happening to the characters marginally more than I did in EPISODE I (which was not at all). Far too much of the film is mired in tedium.

EPISODE II is almost all artifice - and as snazzy as said artifice often is, it all looks and feels more like an intro to a PlayStation 2 game than a movie. All in all, EPISODE II is more like a cross between WING COMMANDER and THE BODYGUARD than it's like THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. In fact, it consistently invites unfavorable comparisons with other movies upon itself, due to a striking lack of originality...

Yes, there's a dizzying airborne chase through the cityscape of Coruscant - but we basically saw that same scene done better in THE FIFTH ELEMENT.

Yes, there's a mechanized factory chase through the bowels of Genosis - but we basically saw that same scene done better in CHICKEN RUN.

Yes, there's a gladiatorial combat in a coliseum on Genosis - but we basically saw that same scene done better in GLADIATOR.

Yes, there's an harrowing chase through asteroids above Kamino - but we basically saw that same scene done better in THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK.

This is perhaps the biggest surprise of EPISODE II, that when all is said and done, it's all stuff we've more or less seen before - with few notable exceptions. Hell, even John Williams' score - save for the beautiful new "Across The Stars" love theme - seems remarkably uninspired and rehashed. (He even goes so far as to steal a few bars of the Nazi March from INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE for the scene when Obi-Wan first sees the Clone Army on Kamino.)

Granted, the fight between Jango Fett and Obi-Wan is very cool. And the duel between Yoda and Christopher Lee's Count Dooku has to be seen to be believed. Cool, yes - but also quite ridiculous and unintentionally hysterical.

(And in case you missed it, let me just reiterate - his name is Count DOOKU. Please.)

The other big surprise in EPISODE II is how unfathomably stupid so many of the characters seem to be - particularly the Jedi, which is particularly disillusioning/depressing.

Why would the Jedi approve assigning the clearly unstable "young Padawan learner" Anakin as sole Jedi protector of Senator Amidala when she's in clear and present danger?

Why can't any of the Jedi sense the Dark Side in Palpatine/Sidious? Especially after Dooku spells it out for them - via Obi-Wan?

Why isn't Yoda - and the entire Jedi Council - more alarmed when Obi-Wan discovers that the Jedi Archives have been tampered with, and internal security has been breached?

Why doesn't Yoda - upon learning that an entire solar system's existence has been erased from the Jedi Archives - assign more than just a single Jedi to investigate something of that magnitude?

In fact, it's hard - if not outright impossible - for anyone with even half a brain not to watch EPISODE II without question after question coming to mind...

If ten years have passed since EPISODE I, how and why is it that Anakin now appears older - or at least the same age - as Padme? (In reality, Hayden Christiansen is two months older than Natalie Portman.)

If size matters not, why does Yoda struggle with that pillar?

How did this movie manage to get a PG rating with all its PG-13 violence?

And by the way, who paid for the Clone Army? Hello?

While the consistently bad dialogue is annoying, the enormous plot holes and lapses in logic are unforgivable. For instance, the primary dramatic fulcrum of EPISODE II - and now the entire STAR WARS hexology - is how and why Anakin turns to the Dark Side of the Force. What pushes him over the edge? In EPISODE II, this is revealed - but it doesn't make sense.

When we last saw young Anakin, he had just (unbelievably) saved Naboo at the end of EPISODE I, yet his beloved mother remained in slavery back on Tatooine. In the ten years that passed between then and EPISODE II, don't you think it would have occurred to him (or anyone else, for that matter) to secure her freedom? No one thought to do this for what, ten years? Don't you think Queen Amidala and the people of Naboo - out of compassion and gratitude - would have offered to buy Anakin's mother's freedom? Don't you think Anakin would've at least asked, after he saved them all?

Apparently not, because in EPISODE II we find that Shmi Skywalker is inexplicably still a slave on Tatooine. Only when Anakin finds himself in the middle of his first assignment as a Jedi - serving as Senator Amidala's bodyguard - is he suddenly compelled to jeopardize his charge, defy the orders of the Jedi Council, and head to Tatooine to find his mother. All because he had a bad dream, or something.

Anyway, after some wandering around and all-too-easy detective work, Anakin finds his mother - just seconds before she dies, of course. (What amazing, cosmic timing!) Her death sends him into a Dark Side rage (didn't see that coming, did you?), and he slaughters the entire tribe of grunting Tusken Raiders who had abducted her (though why they did this in the first place, we don’t know).

It gets better. After committing genocide (largely off-screen; PG), the sullen, brooding, whiny Anakin returns to Padme, yet again ranting how "Obi-Wan is holding me back!" for the kazillionth time while confessing not only his crime, but his enjoyment of it. Does this trouble Senator Amidala? Does it occur to her to report it to the Jedi Council, or some other appropriate authority? No. Apparently she finds the act and enjoyment of genocide endearing, and gives him a hug. Awww...

This pretty much describes the entire insanity of the Anakin/Padme relationship, which just doesn't make any damn sense. We've seen romance work - and resonate - in STAR WARS movies before (THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, anyone?). But here, it's just bizarre to the point of embarrassment. Bi-polar Anakin has apparently obsessed over Padme since he met her as a kid; now, he almost immediately starts professing his love for her, then demands that she love him - over and over again. It's more creepy than romantic. What does she see in him? No one knows. He's a punkass.

The best thing I can say about Hayden Christiansen's performance is that he is entirely convincing as a grown-up Jake Lloyd - equally whiny, annoying, and dense. But then again, he has apparently had to endure a decade of Obi-Wan calling him "my young Padawan learner" every other sentence. No wonder he turns to the Dark Side.

And while Jar-Jar is thankfully limited to just three scenes or so, he still irredeemably sucks every single moment he's on screen. Even worse, he actually speaks Spanish at one point ("I'm muy, muy happy," or something). Worse still is that Palpatine's rise to ultimate power is enabled by Jar-Jar's stupidity. Really. Is this supposed to be resonant, or a joke? Because it doesn't work either way.

EPISODE II isn't a tenth the movie that, say, THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING is, nor even half the movie SPIDER-MAN is. It isn't a "return to form" for Lucas and the STAR WARS franchise, nor does it inspire any great hope for EPISODE III.

Why? It simply isn't compelling in human, dramatic, emotional, or narrative dimensions. It feels like a purely technical exercise, as everyone involved goes through the motions of needlessly filling in back-story to the original (and classic) STAR WARS trilogy. And in doing so, they cause more harm than good. Hereafter, those films are now retroactively damaged, as future viewers will be confronted by a myriad of continuity-challenged questions, such as...

"Why don't Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru recognize C-3PO and R2-D2 in EPISODE IV?"

"Why doesn't R2-D2 ever fly in EPISODEs IV-VI?"

"Why doesn't Boba Fett ever use his other weapons? And how could he possibly be killed so easily in EPISODE VI?"

Etc., etc.

At one point early in the film, Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan actually says to Anakin, "Why do I get the feeling you're going to be the death of me?" All too often, EPISODE I hits you with this sort of groan-inducing, eye-rolling cheap shot, rather than doing something truly resonant and poetic. Do we really need to hear a legendary Jedi Master say "This party's over!"? Do we really need to see C3PO and an Battle Droid swap heads? It's bad writing vs. good, and bad is winning. And in turn, it undermines the potency of the classic films.

For instance, when the enraged Luke slices off Darth Vader's hand with his lightsaber near the end of RETURN OF THE JEDI, it's a powerful moment, crystallizing Luke's realization that he's on the precipice of turning into that which he has been struggling against. But when we now see Anakin getting his entire arm chopped off by Count Dooku near the end of ATTACK OF THE CLONES, it all begins to get a little ridiculous. It doesn't add resonance, it subtracts it.

And you're struck with the depressing realization that we'd have all been far better off if Lucas had just left well enough alone, leaving EPISODEs I-III to our imagination (just as he now says he will EPISODEs VII-IX).

In other words, go see ABOUT A BOY instead this weekend. You'll thank me.

- Robogeek

P.S.: If you're still on the fence about EPISODE II, do yourself a favor and read...

A.O. Scott's review for THE NEW YORK TIMES
"It is not really much of a movie at all, if by movie you mean a work of visual storytelling about the dramatic actions of a group of interesting characters."

Roger Ebert's review for the CHICAGO SUN-TIMES
"Episode II - Attack of the Clones is a technological exercise that lacks juice and delight. The title is more appropriate than it should be."

Christy Lemire's review for the ASSOCIATED PRESS
"It's still a rush to sit in a packed theater (equipped with THX, naturally) when that first blast of John Williams' fanfare sounds. Then you have to endure the rest of the movie."

Lisa Schwarzbaum's review for ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
"Here we are again: not entertained, not nearly enough, by an installment of the Star Wars epic that, for the first time, exhibits symptoms of...nerves. And a chill, conservative grimness of purpose, rather than an excited thrill at the possibilities of cinematic storytelling."

Readers Talkback

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  • May 13, 2002, 6:10 a.m. CST

    Shit

    by SFA

    Oh dear. I hope he's wrong. http://www.voodoo-magic.co.uk Sweeeeeeeet!!!

  • May 13, 2002, 6:11 a.m. CST

    AWESOME! A NEGATIVE REVIEW! Not that I'll agree with it when

    by chuckrussel

    'nuff said!

  • May 13, 2002, 6:20 a.m. CST

    CLASS A WANKER

    by SoulJacker

    Honestly, what a fuckin waste of web space...

  • May 13, 2002, 6:21 a.m. CST

    No One Raped Anything

    by Jed

    my dread of episode 1 sat on my chest and crushed me for three years. Episode II is a great star wars flick. in terms of everything but, say, the emotional resonance of the vader/luke/emperor scenes, it's superior to jedi. I could go through piece-by-piece and rebutt what was said here, but i'm sure someone far more enthusiastic will do the same. A note--I saw spider-man again today. the AOTC trailer played before the show, and even though i've seen the movie, I was EXCITED to see the trailer. Thursday morning can't come soon enough.

  • May 13, 2002, 6:22 a.m. CST

    Negative for the sake of being negative.

    by Vicconius

    I agree with Harry. This dude is just a party pooper. I'm glad my friends aren't as dire as Robogeek. He's to far gone. More Robo than geek now. And then he lists the negative reviews by reviewers that have given thumbs up to such great films as Pearl Harbour, and thumbs down to Spiderman to back up his tantrum. The most stupid review I have ever seen. The only thing I can agree with him is how Owen and Beru don't recognize C3PO and R2-D2. Then again, some people just view machines as tools and nothing more. It would be like recognizing a power-drill or wheelbarrow you owned 30 years ago.

  • May 13, 2002, 6:29 a.m. CST

    Couldn't Disagree More

    by Sacharissa

    I saw this film yesterday (the cinema I work at had a staff screening)and I can't believe that I was watching the same film as Robogeek. AOTC isn't perfect, but who cares when its so fantastically entertaining?! As for the supposed plot holes, why not wait until Episode III before you start nit-picking? If this movie doesn't please the vast majority of fans then I'll eat my Jedi cloak. PS Yoda rocks!

  • May 13, 2002, 6:30 a.m. CST

    Robogeek is such a tool.

    by ThePantingMenace

    For the real picture on Episode II, go to www.empireonline.co.uk - there, you will find the truth you seek. Robogeek came into this film looking to hate it - if you do that with ANY movie, you'll find what you're looking for. He's an arse, and shouldn't be allowed to talk about Star Wars ever again. True Star Wars fans will love Clones. And one more thing - it's ten times the film Fellowship of the Ring is.

  • May 13, 2002, 6:38 a.m. CST

    Still lovin' Star Wars! (After all these years)

    by Azlam Orlandu

    I wonder what it feels like to be someone so overly upset over these movies to the point of hating them. I'm sorry you can't sit back and enjoy 2 hours of sci-fi fun. Since when is it not alright to like a film just for the technical side, especially when Star Wars does have more to it. Deny it all you want.

  • May 13, 2002, 6:45 a.m. CST

    Well, I'm still seeing it.........

    by Jethro Fett

    Maybe Robo fancies himself to be another Roger Ebert, but Ebert for the most part has lost his mind...and trying to back up your opinion by pasting a similar review from Entertainment Weekly, well, you probably just sent quite a few who were on the fence back over to the "I'm seeing it" category. While I am not a hardcore Star Wars geek of the caliber of a lot of guys around the net, I am a huge fan, and will be there Wednesday at midnight with my wife. Robo, letting us know you went in with a grudge negates the review to begin with....you had your mind made up before the opening crawl even started.

  • May 13, 2002, 6:49 a.m. CST

    "Phantom Menace Rape My Childhood" bullshit

    by DukeOfSpiders

    I've said it before, I'll say it again...it ain't rape if you spread yourself wide and beg for it. It was still consensual. Just because you didn't cum, you cry "rape." Cope.

  • May 13, 2002, 6:50 a.m. CST

    And yes, his name is LANDO.

    by Andy Travis

    The difference is, you're older. That's it.

  • May 13, 2002, 6:52 a.m. CST

    I've Got One Word To Describe This Review...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... smug. The idea of quoting other reviewers to back your opinion up suggests that you're not able to make your points on your own. Robogeek was too busy looking down his nose to see what was really happening onscreen here. I'm sorry to see this happen, but at the same time, nobody held a gun to Paul's head and forced him into the theater. I hated TOMB RAIDER. Guess what happens when the sequel comes out? I won't see it. Instead of going into it looking to write another shitty review, I'll spend that two hours doing something productive, something there's at least a chance I'll enjoy. Robo was determined not to like this film. I agree with John Singleton about people who call Jar-Jar racist: "Jar Jar isn't black. He's Bullwinkle. He's a lizard. If that's how you see black people, I'd say you've got the problem, not George Lucas." Oh... wait... I used more than one word, didn't I? Waaaaaah... Robogeek raped my Sunday night.

  • May 13, 2002, 6:54 a.m. CST

    i'll skip past this tom-fuckery of a subject line

    by d-sav21

    robogeek (whoever the hell he/she is, since i've never read anything written by it on aitn before) has done the best job of reviewing ATOC here on this site. i have seen this 2-hour-plus toy commerical and must agree that it offers nothing in terms of thrills or nostaliga that the original trilogy had to offer. this movie taken at it's uttermost face value is nothing more than other such brainless big-budget "sci-fi/fantasy" as 'The Mummy' and 'The Fith Element". george lucas has fallen from the horse along time ago. why people still hold his work in high regard astonishes me! i feel truly sorry and also reviled at those poor saps who are have been and are currently waiting in line for this piece of drek, fully knowing what a monstrosity that the last one was. God bless us all.

  • May 13, 2002, 6:54 a.m. CST

    Whatever

    by Jumpstart

    Felt I needed to weigh in on exactly what people were saying around here. Now, I'm a moderate SW fan. I've never gotten overly fanatical about it. So, I have the strange ability to remain partial. I've not made any severe judgements on this film one way or the other and this is because the original films were not that great to start with. All right, Empire is superior to most films today and that's fine. I concede defeat on that one, but with that exception, they're what, under any other franchise/name would be called a popcorn movie. And you know what, I'll see it anyway. As for anyone who says this movie will be 10x LOTR, I think (personal opinion here, don't get all up in arms) that you're wrong, and here's why: Peter Jackson had to do what this film exactly what George Lucas had to do with the first SW. I mean, who knew who Jackson REALLY was before then? Not a whole lot of people, I guarantee. Then, he's given easily one of the most heavily anticipated projects since the creation of film and he WAS NOT ALLOWED BY ANY SMALL MEANS TO SCREW IT UP. George Lucas on the other hand, doesn't have to do it anymore, simply because (and I'm not saying this is necessarily true) he can create ANY film out of SW now, simply to market new toys and the sad truth is there are people who will buy them because it's SW and he laughs all the way to the bank about it. That's the cynic in me talking, but like I said, he'll have my $8.25 either way. Jumpstart out.

  • May 13, 2002, 6:57 a.m. CST

    I agree with you guys..Robogeek is a TOOL!!

    by TallScott

    It seems like he is playing kissyface with the mean trolls that inhibit the Talk Backs. He has gone out of his way to Trash a movie in a very unfair way and very very Biased..SO far on Rotten tomatoes there are 13 positive and 8 negitive reviews..Where are the good reviews from Time, Rolling Stone,Greenwitch village Gazette robogeek!?!?! I guess if its not the Matrix it sucks in his world. It may or may not be a good movie to me as of yet but your review is that of a bitter mean sprited DORK not Geek..All Robo no Geek...And its funny most of the movies that so-called Geeks love are far far from perfect.

  • May 13, 2002, 7 a.m. CST

    Robogeek sounds like a fanny...

    by EIFF

    I feel for you, I really do. That you couldn't enjoy AOTC. You sound like a spoiled brat and will nit pick at anything. I enjoyed AOTC, I am a massive STAR WARS fan, and I pity your poor soul deeply. You can always look forward to death.

  • May 13, 2002, 7:07 a.m. CST

    Oh!

    by MonkeySpazmaster

    I'm all depressed now. I was really looking forward to this, but now I fear I will leave the cinema bitter and twisted as I did after the Phantom Menace.

  • May 13, 2002, 7:14 a.m. CST

    Good review

    by VoxMillennium

    Robogeek criticism sounds very convincing to me, though his sentiments sometimes are a bit over the top, but that deosn't take anything away from his criticism and I think it's wrong of Harry to not let it speak for itself and already try to discredit it beforehand. Robogeek looks at the story and its consistency and believability and yes, viewed from that angle Lucas' efforts fall flat, but then again I was notsurprised by that. The thing is, that most fans here don't give a shit whether the story is good or logical for that matter and just want an action packed, cgi filled no brainer and in that respect they get exactly what they want, so I guess it depends on your expectations. Personally, I know I'm gonna get a no-brainer, but that's ok, I'll enjoy the roller coaster ride. As far as the brains department goes, the last time Lucas put any kind of intelligence in his movies. or required some of his audience, was when I made THX-1138. The reactions on this board in general only compound that statement. They are his perfect target audience.

  • May 13, 2002, 7:16 a.m. CST

    Oops

    by VoxMillennium

    Sorry for that bizar typo, I meant of course when "he" made THX-1138.

  • May 13, 2002, 7:17 a.m. CST

    I echo the patheticness of that "Rape/Psycho-Babble Bullshit"

    by Justicer

    For the Love of Jesus H. in a Lobster Bib, I've just about had it! If I hear about Lucas Raping childhoods one more time, I'm Calling it back in. You, sir, are OUTTA CONTROL!!

  • May 13, 2002, 7:24 a.m. CST

    this dude needs to be taken out to the pasture and shot...

    by jedi_master97

    just wish he would shut up and enjoy the movie for what it is : "a fun flick" and not some god damn life changing experience... he really must have had something up his ass when he watched this, probaly episode 1.. would explain why hes so pissed at it...harry ditch this dude, im sure u can find some other dudes who are cool and dont take shit so seriously that they must be complete assholes about it, ya know?

  • May 13, 2002, 7:26 a.m. CST

    ROBOGEEK, I PITY YOU. READ THIS PEOPLE.

    by Splinter

    You couldn't let it go. You couldn't let The Phantom Man-Ass go. And you lost a truly great Star Wars film as a result. I saw this on Saturday folks, and PLEASE believe me, it is bloody wonderful. BRILLIANT. This review is the review of a bitter (and quite juvenile, I'm surprised to say) Star Wars fan. Yes TPM sucked. Boy oh boy did it suck. But AOTC is a return to the wonder, the magic and the balls-out action of the originals. Ignore this folks. Do yourselves a favour and go in with an open mind. I'm sickened by this review. And I blame TPM for it, not Robogeek. As I said Robo, I feel sorry for you - you've missed out BIG TIME.

  • May 13, 2002, 7:38 a.m. CST

    Face it

    by notageek

    Lord of the Rings is THE new trilogy for those of us who saw the original Star Wars films in the theater. The effects may be sub-par, but they are better films --- the same way Empire, Jedi and Star Wars are. What's missing? Some soul behind the sheen. I need more than glossy pixels and Natalie Portman's navel.

  • May 13, 2002, 7:43 a.m. CST

    See, Here's the Thing

    by Anton_Sirius

    If Robo was burned too badly by Phantom Menace to ever enjoy a Star Wars film again- and that's certainly the impression he gives with all the nit-picking mixed in with the (possibly, since I ain't seen it yet) valid criticisms, well, it's Lucas' own damn fault. Would you ever see a Schumacher Batman again? Could you possibly enjoy it if you did? That seems to be the only relevant comparison to the depths of Robogeek's disappointment in the prequels. So pity him if you want, but don't begrudge him the reaction, because given the standards Lucas set with the New Hope and Empire, and the utter failure on his part to live up to those standards in almost any way with Menace, the reaction is entirely justified.

  • May 13, 2002, 7:43 a.m. CST

    look at all of the whores congregate...

    by d-sav21

    ... at the alter of george lucas-rotcrotch and the great homecoming fuck-fantasy.

  • May 13, 2002, 7:44 a.m. CST

    crappy review

    by talbuckin

    any review that needs other movies to justify its points is just stupid. I can point more than 50 movies that are better than all that examples this guy just mentioned. And believe I dont think Chicken Run is a good movie, let alone Gladiator and Fifth Element. So Fifth element had a cahse, well, Bullit had a really much more impressive. SO did French Connection. But wait, fifth element had a chase, NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO MAKE A CHASE EVER. And frankly, the Clones chase just puts the Fifth Element chase to shame. Oh for fucks sake, Gladiator better than Clones. I saw the clones movie and no sir. The word Midichlorian IS mentioned by Anakin, btw. Williams "stealing" from his own work. Yeah, like when you go home and put your own pair of socks. You are stealing yourself. All the questions you ask are simply a matter of intelligence. You can see why the Jedi cnat feel the danfer or the betrayals. And thats the point of the movie. They fail. Thay cant do it. There is a bigger force against them. This is a destroying writing not a review. Why don

  • May 13, 2002, 7:51 a.m. CST

    and sorry for my typos!

    by talbuckin

  • NM

  • May 13, 2002, 8:13 a.m. CST

    ROTFLMAO

    by Vitaly Chernobyl

    I don't know why I'm even bothering typing, esp. cause Robogeek is far too immature to ever appreciate another persons opinion and all the haters will hate and the gushers will gush. I suppose the one main point is that George Lucas killed nothing. You (and all such immature people) brought this pain and suffering on yourselves, with your expectations and inability to mature. I was actually going to attack some of the nits this big nit has picked, but I couldn't be arsed. Still basking in the glow of watching it on Sat and still counting the minutes until watching it again on Thurs. One thing I would say - the reference to using Portman again and her age, as someone who "supposedly" loves movies, suspend your disbelief (which you obviously can't) and grow up.

  • May 13, 2002, 8:16 a.m. CST

    NY Times

    by Pageiv

    on theforce.net they have the NY Times review of ESB which was negative, he said it was a retred ect. So I'll believe Harry over any of these puncks, and Ebert complained most about the lack of brightness, not about the movie. Critics suck ass.

  • May 13, 2002, 8:22 a.m. CST

    Slaughteredlamb - Repetition is not an argument

    by Vitaly Chernobyl

    Why don't you go and make your own movie that will make you happy. And hey, since you are obviously in touch with kids (I'll leave the double entendre to others), you can tell them what they enjoy, since they obviously don't enjoy Star Wars.

  • May 13, 2002, 8:31 a.m. CST

    ROBO.......YOUR JUST A......DICK

    by KAKALABA

    Your comparing this movie to the other movies.....These are not the other movies.....there different movies...not the same but different..GET IT...Diffrent.. ..........your a putz!! And if you didn't like episode one..how did it rape your childhood?....I suppose when your read a relly good book and they make it in to a bad movie it ruined the book for you too......man you aint to bright are ya!!

  • May 13, 2002, 8:39 a.m. CST

    Still on the fence? Then read these reviews which back up my own

    by BarrelRider

    What a wanker. I'm not against bad reviews for AOTC, because most intelligent people can see that these aren't exactly arthouse movies, but that post-script was lame, and implied that Robogeek lacks belief in his own convictions.

  • May 13, 2002, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Not expecting much, should live up to my expectations

    by ZombiePresley

    Could it be George is just not a very good overall film maker?? His tecnical abilities are fantastic, but he lacks everything else which makes a movie memorable... I'm going in with low expectations, hopefully that way when I leave I won't wanna punch anything. PS: Are George Lucas and George Romero the same person? Because they have both gone downhill steeply since the 80's, both have stupid beards, both are fat, both are ugly, possibly gay, bad drees sense and they probably stink (I'd never know cause i've never meet them)... Anyone ever seen them in the same room????

  • May 13, 2002, 8:49 a.m. CST

    Are you affraid Robogeek is right?

    by ZombiePresley

    There seems to be a lot of anger towards Robogeeks opinion.... Maybe people are getting nervous that this may actually suck only slightly less the PM... Personally I can't wait to see spiderman (Being released a few weeks after AOTC in Australia)

  • you could easely answer most of the question you stated in that (sorry, bad written) review yourself. And please keep in mind that there is still one movie to go before the connection to the first trilogy is completed. I saw Episode II twotimes now and it is a hell of an entertaining FANATASY/FAIRY TALE movie. you and all the eberts an schwartzbaums should keep that in mind when wirting your reviews.

  • May 13, 2002, 8:51 a.m. CST

    all this review tells me is...

    by majorq007

    ..if I go in with robogeek's attitude, I won't like it. But if I enter into heaven with HIS attitude, I'd probably find several dozen faults with the damned place. This is the wrong, wrong, way to approach a film like this. Though at least he was forthright about his rambling, non-sensical hatred. And for that i say thanks.

  • May 13, 2002, 8:54 a.m. CST

    We have a bad feeling about this...

    by Charlie & Tex

    We were silly enough to make a trans-Atlantic flight to go see Episode I, as it was going to open in the UK 2 months after the Stateside release date. Boy, that was a waste of time & we can't help but think that we are going to have that same sense of disappointment from Episode II. Before you think it - we are 28 and it is not simply a case of us bring too old for the Star Wars movies - that is bollocks - it is just that Lucas is so eager to present spectacular visuals that have never been seen before, that he completely neglects the SUBSTANCE of a movie - leaving an end product that falls into the category of "all skirt - no knickers", ie, there is a lot to see up front, but there is nothing under the surface. At least we are going to see Episode II in a luxury cinema, meaning that we will have waitress service at our disposal to keep a constant stream of bourbon coming because we have a feeling that we will need it...

  • At last, a true rebel spiffy internet film geek! All praise Robogeek! You rebel you!

  • May 13, 2002, 9:01 a.m. CST

    Lambikins - what point were you making??

    by Vitaly Chernobyl

    Apart from flame baiting saying how much you wanted to see TTT? Have you seen the movie? Until you do - don't copy other peoples opinions. How the hell do you know it's not good enough? I may disagree with Robogeek, but at least he has his own opinion. Thankfully, I'm intelligent enough to reserve judgement for when I have my own view - unlike a sheep like you. Amazingly enough, most of the fans seem to like it - it's the reviewers that are polarized

  • May 13, 2002, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Can we please have some more bad reviews

    by Miss Aura

    I love reading them, I love that some people are watching the best special effects ever seen in a movie with some of the best fight scenes I have ever seen in a movie and then forgetting it all because it doesnt make that impact with them that they had when they were a child watching the original trilogy. The number one film in the US right now is Spiderman, which I think is not a great film by all means but getting good reviews. Sure, William Defoe & Toby Mcguire are great but the first half of the film is the greatest remedy for insomnia I have witnessed. So keep all the bad reviews coming and coming, they are a pleasure to read and come May 16th the greatest advertisement ever will hit the streets and its called WORD OF MOUTH.

  • May 13, 2002, 9:17 a.m. CST

    If Innocence is the Force then Cynicism is the Dark Side...sorry

    by FullTiltBoogie

    Ahh, remember the good old days when we used to go to the movies to sit back and escape from the everyday mundane normalcy of our lives? Remember when we could escape with our friends or family for two hours (give or take) and just kick back and enjoy the ride? Then we had to go and grow up. Then we had to develop a nasty little habit called cynicism. Ahh but where exactly did we contract this disease? We all have it. Some more than others (apparently RoboGeek has contracted the most potent strand ever...someone should examine that guy's midichlorians) What happened was we found ourselves captivated by these fantasy worlds. Somehow or another we connected with the characters in these movies, TV shows and comics. For some kids they found their comfort zone in sports, some found their comfort zone in going shopping, some found theirs when they picked up a guitar for the first time but we found our comfort zone in the comic book shops and video stores of the world. And we were ridiculed by all the "cooler" kids because of it, so in order to justify our passion for these fantastical stories as we got older we began to dig deeper. We could find parallels between these stories and our own worthless little lives and we became obsessed. Our obsession then drove us to continue to dig deeper. We dug so deep that the things that amazed us when we were pre-teens now bore us. So we recall what it was that initially attracted us to these stories in the first place and we try to look for those elements in the modern versions of those stories. It's like we're trying to find a scientific formula to happiness or true love. Well we need to do is to stop trying to analyze things and do one of two things: A)Stop going to these movies with these ridiculously high expectations (psst the original Star Wars was really a cheesy movie but we love it anyway). B)If the cynicism that we've all developed is the Dark Side then what we all need to do is hold on to the true Force...innocence. If RoboGeek or any other player-hating geeks out there have forgotten what innocence is then go see Spider-Man or AOTC with a theater full of kids or take any little nieces, nephews or cousins with you and look at the amazement in their eyes as they watch these really fabulous images and stories unfold before their eyes because THAT's what it's really all about. BTW His name is Count Dooku, so what? What kind of a name is Skywalker? Lando? Padme? Amidala? Palpatine? Darth Maul? BOBA FETT for chrissakes? They're all really cheesy names that's the point! What also seems to be forgotten is that this entire universe that we have obsessed over for the greater portion of ourlives all came out of the mind of one man. That's not easy. I'm not a Lucas bandwagoneer but for goodness sakes this whole franchise is his brainchild, all the planets and characters all stemmed from his imagination. As an aspiring screenwriter/filmmaker who can barely come up with a decent story to base on THIS planet I find myself in awe of the fact that he's created a whole other universe and a complete history of that universe. Give the man a break! You don't like it? Go grab a camera and do it better.

  • May 13, 2002, 9:17 a.m. CST

    Actually Lambikins I have seen it

    by Vitaly Chernobyl

    I saw it at a press screening on Sat. morning. And I loved it. Truly brilliant movie - I can tell you that it is good enough. And Christopher Lee is superb - his scene with Obi-wan ripples menace. I take umbrage at reviewers like Robogeek and DuPont who claim to love Star Wars but have no objectivity and nit-pick, and who have so many preconceptions about the movie that it never stood a chance of working for them. I despise reviewers who open a review by stating their life-long love of the predessors, or the books (Tolkein) and then are unable to give an objective report. Good insults by the way, my ego is crushed and I shall have to get my JarJar safety blanket from storage.

  • May 13, 2002, 9:17 a.m. CST

    Can There Be Any Doubt?

    by vergence

    I've seen AOTC and all I can say is bland, lifeless and boring. Forget the plot holes --- the dialogue is the worst I have EVER heard. It was SO bad I was re-writing it in my head as I viewed and improving each and every line. Can there be any doubt that the maverick, pot-smoking, rebellion-advocating LUCA has become MR MOM - basicly your PC pussy who is afraid of his own SHADOW. WHERE IS THE CONFLCIT BETWEEN THE ACTORS? WHY IS EVERYONE LIKE A FUCKING DROID? HOW CAN ANYONE SAY THIS SHIT WAS ANY GOOD? JESUS GEORGE, JESUS...take a fucking hint and hire some real writers for Episode 3. Actually what is the point? I mean after the first two episodes, you can't really make it a trilogy with a good last film, can you? JUST DO US ALL A FAVOR AND DIE THEN...

  • May 13, 2002, 9:18 a.m. CST

    Books

    by Explody

    It amazes me that Lucas seems incapable of recapturing the magic of the holy trilogy. Two theories. I've read several of the Star Wars books, mostly Timothy Zahn's, and the magic is there. And it's in print form with no special effects. When Chewbacca died, I had to fight back the tears (I'm such a pussy), because of R.A. Salvatore's great writing. My point is, great art comes from inspiration. And maybe Lucas is just going through the motions to appease us fans who for so many years demanded more films. He should pass the plotting and writing to someone new for Ep. 3. My second theory is the absence of the archetypal (architypical?) figures in the first trilogy. Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, C-3PO, R2-D2, Ben and Vader were classic characters. They MADE those films. We knew who they were the first time we saw them. We didn't need two hours of explanation, I wouldn't have understood it at the age I was at when I first saw them. All we needed was good guys and bad guys. And all the comedy that seems so forced in the new films was completely natural in the first three, well the first two, at least. The comedy came from the characters' personalities, not from ridiculous slapstick. OK, I'll stop now.

  • May 13, 2002, 9:20 a.m. CST

    I take FOTR lovers opinions...

    by Greater Ape

    with a grain of salt. To my surprise I thought the movie sucked (GASP!) so that shows how subjective a movie is. Only read half the review because his attitude and obvious desire to hate grew swiftly annoying. If it's 80% of the movie that Spidey is, I'll love it, but it'll need to be twice themovie of FOTR or I won't like it. Trippy world, ain't it? One more thing, the Episode II VFX Crew T-shirt is gone, but the Obiwan vs. Jango boxing-style jacket is still up on EBay: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2103008602

  • May 13, 2002, 9:24 a.m. CST

    Haven't seen the movie

    by gilker

    I haven't EII, but this negative review is interesting on a couple of points. The first is the way RoboGeek frames his love of Star Wars in a the phrases of religious orthodoxy. He seems to be a fundamentalist who objects to changes in the canon. That being the case, I think he needs to shut it down - stop going to Star Wars movies and stay at home watching the original trilogy. Like all fundamentalists, he knows what his view of the orthodoxy is and nothing is going to change it - or had better change it. He's closed his mind and his heart and that's that. That being said, his later comments kind of struck a chord with something my wife, an art teacher in an elementary school, has problems with amongst her students. They're working on a project that requires gluing pieces of broken tile on a block of cement to make a mosaic pattern. One girl had built up a beautiful mosaic that was nearly complete when she took a hammer to the pattern to start over. This budding artist made the mistake that George Lucas might well be making - you have to know when you're done. If she'd recognized that she had hit the point of no return, the point where she could no longer make the piece of art better, only worse, she could've finished it and had something to be proud of. Now she is left with a mangled mosaic and not much time to finish it. Perhaps George should've stopped at the original trilogy - or at least passed the torch on to someone with a little more to bring to the canon. Dexter Jettster? Sheesh.

  • May 13, 2002, 9:27 a.m. CST

    by ARFIII

    One thing that bugged me quite a bit about the original trilogy is that they never changed Luke's last name. When Ben hid him from his father on Tatooine, it would have made sense for his last name to be changed from Skywalker to, say, Lars. In that way, in case he ever ran into his father somehow, there wouldn't be a recognition point. Obi Wan Kenobi was too wise for that. Leia's name was changed. Why not Luke's. If I were to dwell on that now, it would absolutely destroy the movie for me. I wouldn't be able to enjoy them. In fact, with that minor plot-device failure (as I see it), it could temper the whole trilogy with negative feelings. I could hate it. But I don't. I love the original trilogy. I also love what I've seen of the "origin" trilogy. But it seems to me that some people have built the original trilogy up to be something to which nothing can be compared; however, these people also seem to forget that all three of the original movies have serious plot-holes and even plot-failures that, if dwelled upon, can detract from one's enjoyment of the movies. Yet, most of us will always see the original trilogy through the veil of childhood. It is difficult to argue with perfection in that case. Yet the movies are not perfect. Phantom Menace was not perfect either. But it is so much more of a better movie than certain disgruntled film-critics and fanboys are giving it credit for. It's not Star Wars Episode IV (the best of the lot), but it's not trying to be. These are different movies people, telling different stories with different endings and expectations. Furthermore, it's difficult to judge one movie by itself when the story is three movies long. We can do it, but we haven't been given all the information we need. And believe me, if Jesus Christ, Buddha, and Mohommad had all stepped out of the screen and started reading The Illiad in the middle of Episode 1, it still could not have lived up to the hype the media and the fans had placed upon it. But it obviously affected you enough to care about seeing the second movie, and in that, it was successful. And I'll lay odds that you care enough to see the third movie in 2005.

  • May 13, 2002, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Hmmm. Couldn't disagree more indeed

    by Mr Bonefish

    I have seen the crappy version via the newsgroups and it kicks ass even at postage stamp size. I really liked this film...a lot. TPM did suck. It was boring. AOTC was great fun. You will see.

  • May 13, 2002, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Hey Look! I'm 56th! Wow!

    by Mr.Shufflebotham

    Lucas should not have had children. He wants to dazzle the new crop and could give two wet farts about the true fans.

  • May 13, 2002, 9:32 a.m. CST

    average

    by alcester

    lets face it, after reading many reviews it sounds like it will be a letdown, Lucas captured that once-in-a-lifetime magic for STAR WARS, I didnt like Yoda in TESB, it was a sign of kiddie things to come. and of course after ROTJ it was obvious he was going after the preschooler crowd. but to be fair to Lucas no one is doing anything original, its all CGI eye candy with no substance. there is still hope.... MINORITY REPORT and SIGNS!

  • May 13, 2002, 9:39 a.m. CST

    Reviews

    by Danetheman98

    The reviews on this picture are really somthing to behold. I have never seen the extremes like I am seeing in these reviews. You have the new york times thrashing it and then Variety giving huge praise. I have just read a bunch of reviews and surprisingly a lot are very positive. Yes there are the negatives, but when reviews are odds like this I think is somthing you have too figure out for yourself. I for one am hoping too have fun. I think thats what its about, but reading some of these talkbacks you would think it was about bitch slapping each other. Here is a link too some reviews read them and then go see the damn movie.http://www.mrqe.com/lookup?^Star+Wars%3a+Episode+II+-+Attack+of+the+Clones+(2002)

  • May 13, 2002, 9:41 a.m. CST

    ROBOGEEK RESPONDS. (Read or read not.)

    by robogeek.com

    Howdy. Glad to see you're all as open-minded and respectful of other people's opinions as usual. FIRST . . . "TPM raped my childhood" = HYPERBOLE. But it sounds like that struck a little too close to home for a lot of you. SECONDLY . . . with all due respect to Harry (and I do appreciate his posting my review), he doesn't really know where I was "coming from". I went into AOTC ready and (more than) willing to enjoy myself, and as I clearly stated in my review, there are many cool things I liked. But I don't see how or why anyone can or should be cutting Lucas any slack - especially given how great a film we know he can deliver, and how crappy a film he delivered last time. Is that totally unreasonable? Uh, no. It's tough love. ;-) THIRDLY . . . I recommended those four other reviews because I think they're well done, make some points I didn't have time for, and yes, to let you know that Alexandra DuPont and I aren't alone in the universe regarding our opinions (which have been a much-abused minority here at AICN). But I think I made my points very nicely, thank you very much. FOURTHLY . . . Smug? Jeez, it's not like I questioned the sanity of someone who advocated a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for the CG Yoda, or anything. (And I hated TOMB RAIDER too, btw; AOTC is a better movie.) FIFTHLY . . . Contrary to Harry's intro, after I saw TPM I _did_ "let go." But it seems a lot of people haven't, and are still desperately clinging to any and all things STAR WARS, regardless of quality (or lack thereof). Honestly, part of me wishes I were among you. I just think that STAR WARS fans - and moviegoers in general - deserve better than we're getting. Suspending disbelief and accepting mediocrity are not the same thing! FINALLY . . . Would you rather go into AOTC with stratospheric expectations (see Harry's and Moriarty's reviews), or lowered expectations? Think about it. I may have just done a whole lot of you a big favor. ;-)

  • May 13, 2002, 9:42 a.m. CST

    Jebus, how many cliches can Robo fit in there?

    by Spider-Lexus

    "racist) two-hour commercial." "George Lucas killed it." "dear reader." "Flawed (but enjoyable) mixed bag." My God. If I wanted to read a review written by someone else, I would've. What makes RoboGeek think re-writing someone else's tired old tripe would be more interesting with his name leading it off? Get a grip and spare us the re-has next time.

  • May 13, 2002, 9:42 a.m. CST

    Suspend Disbelief? Hell, I can make it Levitate on Command

    by Pan_Ziege

    Attack of the Clones. Admit it, a lot of you guys groaned too when you heard the title. But, wtf. They're cloned as hell and they're not going to take it anymore. So maybe the flick has plotholes that Harry could pirouette through. After a while the absence of logic in a 'storyline' takes on an absurdist hypnotism. Combine that with zillion dollar visuals, and you've got a movie that could make stoners' eyes roll back in their heads. Do i expect AOTC to "suck"? By some folks' definitions, yeah. Do I expect to spend a lot of the movie with my head tilted in wonder? I'd put money on it. If Lucas managed to fix my beefs with TPM (1-Irritating child star, 2-An Action Deficit, 3-Irritating CGI star) then I say, "Up the irons. It was worth my couple bucks." Bring on the attacking clones. ----------------Anyone know where I can get in touch with the 'childhood rape' department of any of the major studios? I'd love to offer some suggestions on juicy properties that would be ripe for rape. The more people howl and fuss about it, the more the sicko in me wants Hollywood to go out of their way to 'reimagine' everything. An important lesson to learn: The film of a thing is not the thing itself. Just the way when the pages of your porno-mag get nutstuck together and rip, don't cry, the naked lady isn't actually hurt.

  • May 13, 2002, 9:42 a.m. CST

    "You smell something? Smells like somebody died."

    by bc1970

  • May 13, 2002, 9:51 a.m. CST

    new star wars movie

    by fun guy

    yeah man i bet hes right about the new star wars movie. that last star wars movie was so dumb why should we think this ones gonna be any better. im going to rent it later on forget paying $ to see it with a bunch of loud kids.

  • May 13, 2002, 10:02 a.m. CST

    More Reviews

    by Danetheman98

    Here is a short list of reviews. Negative:NY Times, Newsweek, LA Times, Hollywood reporter, EW, Ebert, CNBC, Slant. Positive: Variety, Time, Chicago Tribune, Roeper, Wired, Filmthreat, Rollingstone, BBC, CNN, People, Empire Magazine. Another interesting fact. Most of the internet sites are positive. Why? I am not sure. All I can say is this is not adding up to a horrible movie. For every Robogeek (internet based review) there are 10 positives. You want proof go look here: IMDB.com or at Rottontomatoes.com. Do the research yourself.

  • May 13, 2002, 10:06 a.m. CST

    Robogeek

    by mdmel5

    Hi Harry: I saw Attack of the Clones and it is fantastic. This Robogeek is an asshole who just gets a kick out of bringing other fans down. He's the one losing out..I'm glad I'm still a Star Wars fan and get to enjoy the movies without being so critical. I love how he picks out a few bad reviews and uses them to back his poorly written critical analysis of the film. Pathetic! Well Robo...look at these and weep you one sided loser: Variety Time NY Post Chicago Tribune People Magazine Boxoffice Magazine Wired Magazine ALL RAVE REVIEWS ROBO...so please stop using a few negative reviews and act like they make up the majority of critics opinions. It's not true...this movie has received mostly positive reviews. So go away Robo and let everyone enjoy this film without your poorly written commentary.

  • May 13, 2002, 10:11 a.m. CST

    All Englishmen are evil

    by abihu

    I'm really sick of hearing criticisms by others on what they regard are the racist overtones presented by George Lucas' characters -- Jar Jar Binks, Neimodians, Watto, etc. The majority of the people in the Empire are British, but I've yet to hear anyone take offense that British people are portrayed as evil.

  • May 13, 2002, 10:11 a.m. CST

    On Owen owning 3PO

    by Thumper2k1

    Sure there are alot of droids that look like 3PO and R2, but how many are named C-3P0 and R2-D2? You would think that when Owen meets 3P0 in episode 4, he'd say "Oh shit! I owned you once."

  • May 13, 2002, 10:18 a.m. CST

    doing us a favour !!!!

    by audio vandal

    jesus robo..no-one begrudges you an opinion but dont think you are doing us any favours brother, your negative review aint gonna change our preconceptions one bit..my expectations are of a good movie in the star wars tradition...reviewers who have the opinion that they are helping their readers' expectations could be accused of having 'delusions of grandeur ' ...

  • May 13, 2002, 10:26 a.m. CST

    Going in with low low low expectations

    by Someguywithaname

    These days, you cant ask Hollywood to provide at least the semblance of a real story. With Spider-man, I just hoped it would modestly entertaining and it was. Certainly not the best super hero movie, and far from being the definitive Spider-man(oh yes Raimi, having Parker say he wrote a paper on nano-technology instead of designing his own webshooters REALLY demonstrates his aptitude for science), it did drag in parts--especially with the Mary Jane fixation which distracted too much from Peter Parker's story. But with low expectations, it never left me feeling I was cheated. I hope AOTC will be a similar experience. I re-watched Phantom Menace for the first time in 3 years the other night--and it was a bad movie. If only Jar Jar had been the weakest element--but the story and acting were poor. The fact that Ebert didnt like it doesnt impress me because his reviews are inconsistent. I agree with him about Spider-man's action scenes---but didnt he praise the Phantom Menace? Surely this film cannot be as bad as that one. And if it is--well, we only have one more to endure after it. :)

  • May 13, 2002, 10:29 a.m. CST

    Comments on Robogeeks Review.

    by Danetheman98

    The comment I have about Robogeeks reviews has little too do with his opinion and more to do with how he supports it. Having all the negative reviews lined up after your review, is as on would say in a critical thinkng course "a false sample". Too be fair you should have lined up positives and negatives and then let people make up their own minds whether they agree with his opinion. It seeems he is trying to sway opinion too his side by minipulation. This is done in advertising and in propaganda. It makes it hard to respect a review like this.

  • May 13, 2002, 10:34 a.m. CST

    Maybe it sucks, maybe it doesn't

    by Crazy Fresh DJ

    Anyone who sees this as the greatest travesty in their lives should quit their bitching, get their priorities straight and count themselves LUCKY

  • May 13, 2002, 10:39 a.m. CST

    Go back to bed, America...

    by FatPaul

    What the hell is wrong with you people? How can you talk about suspension of disbelief in a case like this? A bad movie is a bad movie. Suspension of disbelief doesn't enter into it. If it did, The Fast and the Furious would be a delightful fable and Gladiator would have deserved its Oscar. People like you are the reason that these studios make so much money off of this brainless mainstream tripe. It isn't cynical not to enjoy a bad movie. Cynicism is watching only the watered-down crap that the corporate machine forces down your throat, just because it would take more effort to seek out good movies and form your own opinions. You people make me sick.

  • May 13, 2002, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Suspension of disbelief? Or taste?

    by RoboBagPiper

    In Harry's condescending and unnecessary preface to Robogeek's review, he asks for a suspension of disbelief. But that isn't the issue, is it? Anyone who enjoyed the original trilogy (as Robogeek clearly does) can suspend disbelief. It's got spaceships that bank like WWII planes, and muppets that can levitate things, for chrissakes! What I get from the rabid SW fans is not that, but a demand that we suspend our tastes instead! We're supposed to ignore flat, groan-worthy dialogue. We're supposed to ignore a lack of characterization. We're supposed to ignore holes in the plot. We're supposed to ignore everything that makes a movie a *story*, as opposed to a series of action set pieces. And while many appear to want nothing more from a film than special-effects and fight-scene set-pieces, those DO NOT A STORY MAKE. And this is where geekdom breaks down into two camps - not LOTR vs SW, or S-M vs SW, or the venerable ST vs. SW. Rather, on one side you have the people for whom cool effects, cool fighting is what they're looking for. And on the other, you have those for whom cool effects and set-pieces are not enough; we want want compelling characters and meaningful stories to link together the set pieces into a cohesive whole. And that bifurcation of fandom is all well and good, if the that's what boils your breakfast early; as long as one camp doesn't demand that the other live to its standards, or deride the other camp for failing to do so. As for me, I have zero interest in a movie that offers nothing more than cool set pieces. I have to have a story I can sink my teeth into. I have to have chaaracters with real motivations, people with whom I can empathize. And that was sadly lacking in TPM, and from all reports, lacking in AOTC. So I'll see it. Eventually. Probably before it hits the dollar-theaters, but long after the crowds die down. And one final point - to all those who say, "you have to think like a child to enjoy these things", sod off. I don't want to return to a child's mentality. Children are indiscriminate, gullible, and, frankly, STUPID. When I became a man, I put away childish things. I can watch to original trilogy - even if as good popcorn fun - without a mental reversion. Why should I need to do it for TPM, or expect to have to do it for AOTC? So kudos to Alexandra DuPont and Robogeey for speaking their minds. Moriarty usually speaks for the thoughtful fan around here (and I'm sad to see him carried away by the "coolness" that so often make Harry praise miserable tripe like Armageddon and TPM), but someone had to step up to the plate and let those of us who want more than a overblown Playstation game what we can expect from this thing.

  • May 13, 2002, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Why these new Star Wars movies are stupendously bad...

    by Seth_Isurus

    The sad fact of life is that some people, while incredibly talented and imaginative for a short while, become less and less so as time marches on. There are countless world-famous authors for instance, who only made one or two decent contributions to literature. J R R Tolkien say. Or George Orwell. Frank Herbet and William Golding come to mind too. Basically, Lucas had his 'Lord of the Flies' with Star Wars and Indiana Jones. He's not good at telling stories anymore. And should stop it.

  • May 13, 2002, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Robogeek is RIGHT!!

    by BrettL

    I agree with everything Robogeek said about AOTC. To the rest of you Star Wars geeks livin' in denial- you'd probably like any slop Lucas throws up on the screen. Heck, if Radioland Murders or Howard the Duck had a Star Wars Episode

  • May 13, 2002, 10:44 a.m. CST

    Logic? and Science?

    by MJAYACE

    I can't believe this goon is questioning reality in a Star Wars movie. "Why didn't the council know anything?" I mean come on!! If you want to question a SW movie for how real it is, you are swimming up shit creek! There are a million questions you could ask about the OT. Here are a few: 1) How is it that Luke, a nobody, got to fly with an organized military on the Death Star run? (Yeah, right), 2) How does a giant worm/ space slug live in space w/ no oxygen (or anything else to breath), no water (a necessary component to all life), almost absolute zero temperature, and no food, 3) How is it that people that could design the Death Star, a planet destroying weapon, the size of a moon, miss something as a "bomb up the exhaust pipe can blow us up problem"? These are just a few but really!!! I sense this whole thing is a bunch of idiot critics who just want SW to die. I mean these are the same people who gave that piece of shit, "Royal Tennenbaums" an A. The fans will decide as they always do. I laugh at movie critics for how they always try and go against the mainstream. I mean look, EW's Lisa whatever said that AOTC is better them TPM yet she gave it a lower rating (EW gave TPM a B-). This just shows you who really rules the critics, money. Alot of these critics parent companies have movies coming out this summmer. Out.

  • May 13, 2002, 10:44 a.m. CST

    I feel sorry for this reviewer

    by LeeScoresby

    Talk about over-analysis. Talk about jamming your inner child deep inside you and jailing it there so you can make disparaging remarks about the franchise that "raped your childhood" (and there's nothing funny about that statement...just something unbelievably sad and pitiful, that a Star Wars movie could so completely and utterly devastate anyone). Count Dooku has a funny name? Try Boba Fett. Or Lando Calrissien (sp). Or Leia Organa. Anyone who argues for some sort of "difference" between the OT names and Dooku is deliberately blinding themselves. Stop waiting for Lucas to save your souls and just enjoy the movie. A word of warning: I go to see the film this thursday eve. If one person makes a snide remark (because as we all know, it's so very cool to think Star Wars is passe now) I will turn around and smack them. PS- Backloading a review with other reviews that support your position only indicates a lack of faith in your own opinions. And EW's review was a joke. You'd almost have thought that Lucas DID rape LS's childhood, what with the venomous and condescending tone of her piece. That's not criticism. It's sensationalism, and i'll get my film opinions elsewhere, thanks.

  • May 13, 2002, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Lambikins - your money is safe

    by Vitaly Chernobyl

    I give you the Vitaly Chernobyl Guarantee of Satisfaction - redeemable at the cinema of your choice. As for NSYNC - if they are in it, I guarandamntee I didn't see them. As for Robogeeks retort - still no objectivity. I have very high standards - the movie surpassed most of them. He is far too caught up in the most remote of details. I could attack most of critiques, but what's the point - it won't change his opinion and I couldn't be arsed. Suffice to say, if you can go in with an open mind (unlike some reviewers here) you will have a Moby Dick of a time.

  • May 13, 2002, 10:54 a.m. CST

    This is a really good review,

    by Ben fong Torres

    i was just wrapped up in the whole star wars thing when i saw the film last week, but this review has put into a greater perspective for me - it is full of holes that will just stick out like a sore thumb when future generations watch the whole 6 films in one sitting. It does have its plus points, and is far more entertaining than episode 1 (but what isn't?)but episode 3 cannot possibly redeem the saga now.

  • May 13, 2002, 10:59 a.m. CST

    "Why don

    by LeeScoresby

    No idea what this means. Not really caring. Laugh out loud funny.

  • May 13, 2002, 11 a.m. CST

    Harry stop being a jackass

    by fladnaG

    Why did you feel the need to put a disclaimer on this review? What, nobody can give a negative review of Star Wars? Just to let you know I can suspend my disbelief as well as anyone. But crappy ass dialouge and wooden acting are no excuse. Don't try to shrug off these gaping flaws with a simple "oh well its just a movie. You people need to learn how to relax and enjoy yourselves". To that I say bullshit. I have a sneaking suspicion that you're one of those Star Wars fans that Robogeek was talking about who sees this franchise through rose colored glasses. You can label me a hater but that would be untrue. I was born in 1980 and have no emotional baggage with these movies. I want to enjoy them but if they suck I'm going to say so. I guess I'll find out this Thursday but for the love of god Harry don't be a jackass and put disclaimers on negative reviews. Thats just poor form.

  • May 13, 2002, 11:01 a.m. CST

    Rofl......There's a difference between...

    by Pan_Ziege

    ...knowing something isn't very good, conciously acknowledging WHY it isn't very good, and deciding to enjoy it for its merits AND doing what a lot of "Self-Professed Rabid Star-Wars Fans" are doing these days. (ie, already deciding that something is going to rule because of its "brand name", that all the 'haters' are morons, blindly refusing to admit that Lucas hasn't gone a little nutty on that ranch of his, and sitting around in crap-filled C3PO underroos in a desperate attempt to recreate a childhood viewed through rose-colored pod-race goggles.) Not that there's anything wrong with that. But when you make such feelings public on internet posting boards, you're going to need to expect some....ahem....friction with other posters. Chuckle

  • May 13, 2002, 11:15 a.m. CST

    Kenneth Turan's L.A. TIMES review...

    by robogeek.com

    "We'll never see another "Star Wars," no matter how much we want to. And we want to very much." Check it out at... calendarlive.com/top/1,1419,L-LATimes-Calendar-X!ArticleDetail-58931,00.html

  • May 13, 2002, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Star Wars has moved on!

    by peejee

    For God's sake get a grip! ANH, TESB and ROTJ are three of my alltime favourite movies. I love them all truelly for different reasons and they're burnt into a corner of my brain and I'll love them till the day I die. TPM was inexplicable. It was dogshite (apart from Ray Park)! We all agree on that! But c'mon guys, stop with this "Lucas has raped our childhood" crap! The original trilogy (and I aint talking about the SE's which did the originals no good at all) is there! They will always be there! Noone can take them away from you. Eps I, II and III are different films. They have/will have little if any of the magic that made us luv the originals. Lucas has moved on and if you want to continue to love Star Wars you have to move on too. Hell, Lucas has still failed to admit EpI was shite so what does that tell ya? His new thing is CGI. He luvs it and nothing u or I say will stop him from making these new movies 80% CGI. NOTHING! So u have to embrace it if u r going to get anything out of the new Star Wars films. I believe if he addresses what was wrong with EpI and what was so right with TESB he will achieve a mixture that will have our peckers standing to attention! Star Wars has moved on from the originals, thats neither right nor wrong, but that doesn't mean he still can't make a good Star Wars movie! Deal with it! If you want to see the same type of magic that made us love the originals go pre-order your Fellowship of the Ring DVD from Amazon right now!!

  • May 13, 2002, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Face it Fanboys, it SUCKS!!!!

    by MinasTirith

    So much wasted potential down the drain. Get PJackson to write and direct EPIII!!!!! It will be just like TPM. Walking out of the theatre I didn't know if I liked TPM, saw it again, still didn't know. But by then I figured it must suck. Then seeing it again of FOX a couple months ago, well, terrible, terrible.. Kids Movie? My ASS!!! There are plenty of good kids movies that adults can watch, plenty. SW OT will live on. But I feel sorry for some of the kids who don't get to live the fun os SWOT and are stuck Slamming AOTC. Thank Gosh the Kids today have The Matrix, LOTR, Spiderman and some others. They will have stuff to look back on 20 years from now and get hopefully some of the same feeling I get when I look back on the OT. These Episodes are Failures through and through. George Lucas you SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! You got damn lucky, but your time is over, was over, 20 years ago. Retire, round up the cattle at the Ranch, thanks for all the memories, but somehow you are even tainting those memories with you new crap.

  • May 13, 2002, 11:17 a.m. CST

    I hate to say it

    by Jar Jar Boinks

    ...But I completely agree with this review. The movie is terrible, tortured and painful to watch until the last 20 minutes-or-so. And I think deep inside that even Harry, an insecure lardass, knows this. That's why he felt obliged to write a preface to Robo's bang-on review. Face it Harry: the movie is a total waste of time and anticipation, and you were USED and EXPLOITED by Lucas. He may not know how to write characters or dialogue any more, but he has insight into two-dimensional infantile brains -- like yours Harry. He knew that in your pea-brain, "clandestine" and "exclusive" is the surest way to give you a hard-on. Robo's review is accurate, and you know it.

  • May 13, 2002, 11:18 a.m. CST

    What a sad little man....

    by StubePT

    What is up with some people's expectations of this film? Every negative review I've seen contains the following criticisms: bad acting, campy dialogue, suspect special-effects, holes in the plot. Hello? I could use those same adjectives to describe every movie in the Star Wars saga. Why are people expecting something different? You want plot holes from the original trilogy? There are entire web sites devoted to that kind of crap. For instance, if Leia is Darth Vader's daughter, how come he couldn't sense it on the Death Star? People have forgotten that Star Wars isn't about filmmaking. Never had been, never will. It's about an experience. You don't watch a movie, you experience Star Wars. And it's sad when you make comments like "TPM raped my childhood." Damn, dude... let it go. If you're entire childhood is based on the shortcomings of one movie that came out in 1999, you must have had a seriously sad life. Just a reminded to you and everyone else out there. George Lucas owes you nothing. He didn't even have to make these three new movies. If they are falling short of your expectations, then your expectations are too high. Get over it and get over yourself. Enjoy Star Wars for what it is. And quit your bitching.

  • May 13, 2002, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Looks like in 2005, we'll see...

    by Kid Z

    ..."Episode III: The Empty Multiplexes"!

  • May 13, 2002, 11:30 a.m. CST

    One more time... "TPM raped my childhood" = HYPERBOLE!

    by robogeek.com

    Look it up. Jeez... - Robo

  • May 13, 2002, 11:32 a.m. CST

    **addendum**

    by StubePT

    And the parts about stealing ideas from other movies. Hi. Welcome to reality. Show my one movie that didn't steal from another? You mentioned Chicken Run, which itself borrowed heavily from The Great Escape. You mentioned Gladiator, which borrowed from Ben Hur. It's Star Wars, for pete's sake! Star Wars borrowed from The Hidden Fortress, as well as countless other Saturday afternoon serials like Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon. It's freakin' Hollywood! Nobody has come up with an original idea in over 50 years!!!!

  • May 13, 2002, 11:37 a.m. CST

    This Never Ends

    by Jakolantern

    Was Spiderman good? Yes. Was it GREAT? NO! I walked out with criticisms of the movie, minor, but the movie wasn't perfect. I saw many negative reviews online for Spidey before seeing it. Minimal plot, if any. LOTR? Well, as far as I'm concerned, I enjoyed it, but can't remember a damn thing about it. It took itself way too seriously. And yes, I am looking forward to the next part. AOTC will be enjoyable. I caught part of ANH the other on TV, and it was just as corny as all the other SW films. Personally, I'm starting to believe that no matter how good AOTC could have been made, it's so big that it has to be picked apart. I've never seen a movie so analyzed by the media. Maybe it was the ealry positive word on the film that caused this. Either way, I know I'll be seeing this movie a few times in the theater, and so will everyone else. Even the naysayers will see it. I work a second job in a video store, and have had plenty of time to watch a lot of bad movies and have come to the conclusion that if a movie is good, people will go to see what is so good. On the other hand, if a movie (especially one as big as SW [think TPM]) is deemed 'bad' by the media, people will still go to see what could possibly be so bad about it. You can keep bashing Lucas, but just remember all those Devlin and Emmerich productions that made a ton of loot. Pure garbage. And don't tell me you're actually looking forward to Independence Day 2. Star Wars, 4ever!

  • May 13, 2002, 11:48 a.m. CST

    car crash

    by pretty_vacant

    Reading some of the reviews on this site is like viewing the aftermath of a car crash - you know you shouldn't but you just can't help yourself. This has got to be one of the worst reviews I've ever read, not because it's a negative review, just because it is a badly written review. We should be thankful that "these days it's rare for ol' Robo to find the time to pen a review" PS. Hyperbole or not, to compare the dissapointment felt in seeing the The Phantom Menace to being raped is pretty crass.

  • May 13, 2002, 11:50 a.m. CST

    Robogeek needs a woman

    by Mangoman

    Good God ! The reason we are seeing a dearth of these opinions against Episode 2 is that the internet has allowed boxed up, veal-like, never been laid people like robo to express their opinions not just to the geeks at the comic book store but to the entire world. I am sure he would have skewered Star Wars in '77 if he had a computer, and if Al Gore had invented the internet by that time (sic) Get a life , sit back,eat the popcorn, and for the love of God enjoy yourself. Is is a movie,a wonderful continuation of our childhood dream that began in '77. Put as much effort into gettin laid as you do these poison pen reviews, and you will be like Hef in 3 years....guaranteed. Preach on Harry, you may convert this guy yet....

  • May 13, 2002, 11:52 a.m. CST

    Robogeek You Poor Pathetic Soul

    by SATrains

    I truly feel pity for Robogeek and those like him. They don't understand that they are bitter, ugly people who will end up being very lonely if they continue to exhibit this kind of negativity. I believe that Robogeek lost the point of going to Star Wars films. It is the sheer enjoyment of being transported to a galaxy far, far away which is why we all enjoy these films so much. It is the same reason why we love The Lord of the Rings,Spiderman, or Harry Potter. These films are not great art but they fill us with the joy of being invited into worlds we could never imagine for ourselves. Remember, this is George Lucas's world and we have been invited to share some of his vision. If you don't like what you see then don't come to the party and please do not wreck it for the rest of us. My suggestion to Robogeek and those like him is that they create their own mythologies for all to enjoy. Oh Wait, these are critics I am talking about they have no creativity, just negativity.

  • May 13, 2002, 11:54 a.m. CST

    Great Review, Regardless of Content!

    by teapot

    This has got to be the most well written review for AOTC that I have read yet... I'm astounded! He backed up practically every statement with solid facts!

  • May 13, 2002, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Uncle Owen DID "recognize" C3P0!!!

    by iontyre

    Remember, he said "You're a protocol droid, aren't you?" or something to that effect. Certainly recognized the type of droid! Droids are everywhere, its not likely anyone would recognize a particular one, especially after 20 years or more!!! As for R2D2, there are so many of those little things roaming around, I doubt anyone would even consider remembering a specific one!

  • May 13, 2002, 12:14 p.m. CST

    Questions?

    by Logansan

    How many times Anakin-Dart Vador-Gets his friggin arm chopped off? How Does Uncle Owen relate to Anakin? Who was Anakin's Father? Please Answer.

  • May 13, 2002, 12:18 p.m. CST

    I can explain...

    by mbeemer

    ... Padme falling in love with Anakin. It just doesn't make sense unless you assume that Anakin's obsession with her caused him to do a Jedi Mind Trick on a subconscious level. He probably didn't even know he was doing it, but he *wanted* her to love him so badly he *made* her love him. And while Padme has a strong mind, it was constantly assaulted on a subconscious level until she gave in. (This theory has probably been posted a million times already, but I haven't read all the talkbacks.)

  • May 13, 2002, 12:19 p.m. CST

    To All You Aging Fanboys

    by Fearsme

    Listen up kids, i'm only going to say this once. The films we enjoyed as children we enjoyed becasue we saw them at an age where we could appreciate them for what they were: escapist fare that was light on drama and heavy on action and special FX. Now that we are orbiting our thirties, these films still hold a special place in our hearts as part of our childhood. But as ADULTS (the key word here), we are far too jaded to appreciate something simple, which is what the Star Wars films are. All this debate, it's just soooooo pointless. the only thing that is "raping our childhood" is the constant disection of two hour films designed to do nothing more than entertain. Star Wars movies are just that, movies, not lifestyles, so if you are unable to enjoy films like these on the simplistic level that they are made, then stop going to see them. Moriarty made a good point, if you hated Phantom Menace, dont go see Clones. Unless you are a bitter, sad individual who goes to see movies solely to bitch about them. Despite what you may think, Lucas, or any other filmmaker for that matter doesnt owe you a damn thing. Stop relying on filmmakers to fill your life with purpose. www.horror-report.com

  • May 13, 2002, 12:26 p.m. CST

    It's Really Hard To Take Roger Ebert Seriously

    by NoCureForFools

    this is the man who wrote the script for BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS and who was subsequently horrified when it was filmed as a ridiculoulsy hilarious camp materpiece. he honestly thought that the script was a serious portrayal of the seedy underworld of hollywood.****in re: reviews. the lion's share of reviews have been ridiculously positive. very few negatives. so, more than likely AOTC looks fit to redeem Lucas and put the saga back on track. people bitching about the cheesiness of Star Wars have obviously never watched the original films which are incredibly cheesy, but also incredibly cool. that's the whole goddman thing right there. anyways, i can't think of anything more uncool than some aging Gen-Xer proving how above Star Wars they are. there are plot holes? the romance is silly? the dialouge is stiff? no way! really? say it ain't so! i swear, taking these sorts of pseudo-intellctual potshots at Star Wars is like beating up a 10 year old and then bragging to your friends about it.

  • May 13, 2002, 12:36 p.m. CST

    It's Really Hard to Take Roger Ebert Seriously / Reviews Are

    by NoCureForFools

    Mr. Ebert is the man who wrote the script for BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS and who was subsequently horrified when it was filmed as a ridiculoulsy hilarious camp materpiece. he honestly thought that the script was a serious portrayal of the seedy underworld of hollywood.****in re: reviews. the lion's share of reviews have been ridiculously positive. very few negatives. so, more than likely AOTC looks fit to redeem Lucas and put the saga back on track. people bitching about the cheesiness of Star Wars have obviously never watched the original films which are incredibly cheesy, but also incredibly cool. that's the whole goddman thing right there. anyways, i can't think of anything more uncool than some aging Gen-Xer proving how above Star Wars they are. there are plot holes? the romance is silly? the dialouge is stiff? no way! really? say it ain't so! i swear, taking these sorts of pseudo-intellctual potshots at Star Wars is like beating up a 10 year old and then bragging to your friends about it.

  • May 13, 2002, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Reviewer mentions racism means review equals CRAP

    by Phimseto

    Maybe I blocked it out because it was so ridiculously stupid last time around, but I had forgotten just how pathetic some people were in levelling (of all things) racism charges against Lucas and the Star Wars films. I should have expected their return, but didn't. Well, it has served as useful education this go-around because the only people mentioning it are the vast majority of the negative reviewers I have seen, people who are seemingly so incapable of seeing past their own mispercetions and carrying such a ridiculous chip on their shoulder that there is nothing AOTC could do to win them over. For most of the negative reviews I've seen, they have only served as an extended bully pulpit session for those malcontents who didn't hear enough of themselves complaining the last go-around. In fact I can say quite reasonably that this underlying thread has given me good hope for the film, because this charge of racism drives their contempt and they go out of the way to knock all the other parts of the film as some form of overall validation for their misplaced conviction. Phantom Menace had problems, and from what I have seen from some of the few reasoned negative pieces (Ebert's comes to mind), AOTC will certainly present some issues for me to consider when I decide whether or not this is the Star Wars film I have been waiting for. However, when counting those few negative reviews against the many, varied positives and discounting the "Selma, Alabama via Tatooine" idiot pieces, AOTC looks more and more promising. That was my calm response. Now for my self-indulgant initial response: "Racist? Robogeek, get your head out of your ass."

  • May 13, 2002, 1:23 p.m. CST

    RoboGeek Is Right! THE PHANTOM MENACE raped my childhood too!

    by Darth-Kitty

    As a Star Wars movie it is a dismal failure. Just because this movie is better than Phantom Menace doesn't mean it's worth seeing! I've seen the Yoda fight sequence and all I can think of is "That rabbit is dynamite!" ala Monty Python and the Holy Grail. And for those of you morons who have been slamming poor RoboGeek for telling the truth here is one for you in case you haven't figured it out: The reason the Jedi can't sense the dark side of the force around Senator Palpatine is because he is a CLONE (minus the midi-chlorians) of the real Palpatine: Darth Sidious. The ONLY reason to see these prequels is to hear and see George Lucas's attempt at political commentary: The real forces of darkness operate behind the scenes pitting empty headed political puppets against greedy trade federations and "seperatists" whom they have manipulated into agressive action so as to propel certain political candidates and agendas, justify military buildup and to take away democratic freedoms and rights in the name of security for the "Galactic Republic" I refer back to the article in Time a couple of weeks ago.

  • May 13, 2002, 1:31 p.m. CST

    NEXT UP We deconstruct the psychological meaning behind TOM & J

    by jaminator45

    Now WHY would tom and Jerry get along in later episodes? Cats and Mice do NOT get along. Why would a cat be playing with fireworks? For crying out loud people, this is a perfect example of how some of these reveiewers should be doing something else for a living, cuz they obviously dont like movies anymore. Jeezuz, can you imagine if some turd, like the writer of this reviews, sat around examining the meaning of the early flash gordon flix? LOL. Yeah, i think i will go see about a boy this weekend instead, what a dumbass... somebody spent 140 million on a flick and i am gonna pass on it. ya know even if the movie sucks, it will still be worth 5 bucks to see a flick that cost 140 million. by the way, i am also sick of hearing these idiots talk about lucas raping their childhoods. what a fucking loser. I know i have been personally scarred by TPM and will probably never get over it. I am still seeing a shrink because lucas stuck his dick in my childhood.

  • May 13, 2002, 1:40 p.m. CST

    Point of Clarification....

    by Darth-Kitty

    My quotes from Time magazine are of George Lucas himself and not the writer (Jeffrey Ressner).

  • May 13, 2002, 1:40 p.m. CST

    A prejudiced, desperate review is there ever was one

    by jettison

    Robogeek is obviously not a real movie buff. Anyone walking into a theatre with the sole, predetermined intention of tearing down a movie is a fraud and a discredit to the real movie buffs. And he is so determined to sound correct, that he has to provide a 'sampling' of reviews from others just like him. Note that this sampling is anything but random. The sad thing is when a web site such as AICN, which is usually very credible, starts allowing people such as Robogeek to use the website for their own agendas, it ruins the website and the hard work of Harry and those who really love movies. I still dig this site for the various spy pics though.

  • May 13, 2002, 1:48 p.m. CST

    you stupid fucks

    by oorat22

    oh no, a bad review for clones, you poor poor fucks. oh no, someone didnt like it, lets get him. he obviously has no taste because he didnt like the movie. pay no attention to the fact that he actually uses some details to describe the scenes of the movie and why he didnt like them, unlike all the positive reviews who ard just, it's great, it works. infact, all the negative reveiws mention alot of the same problems, creepy stalkerish anakin, improbible love story that makes no sense. and fuck him for bringing up other movies to make points, sure he didnt say he loved those movies over aotc, but he did use them to bash aotc, so fuck him. any one who thinks a movie could be bad is a fucking idiot, there is no such thing as a bad movie, just poor people who dont have enough money to go see a movie so it doesnt do well and supposedly fails at the box office. fucking poor people. you fucks are all so fucking stupid.

  • May 13, 2002, 5:28 p.m. CST

    some of you geek talkbackers are f*cking ridiculous

    by Suede

    i can't believe the degree to which robogeek has been flamed and torn about on this board. for what? posting a negative review of the next star wars picture. how dare he??!! what a completely incomprehensible idea!!! you mean george lucas fucked up?? blasphemy. anyone who knows anything about filmmaking knows that george lucas is infallible. his razor sharp creative vision has never strayed from godliness, shining like the brilliant light of He himself on such pictures as howard the duck, the phantom menace, and return of the jedi. robogeek, sir, you have erred in your review by stating the unthinkable. but it's okay - we forgive you. clearly, you were allowed your (unjustified) feeling on the phantom menace to cloud your judgement, to fill your review with bias...as opposed to harry to (whom lucasfilm has admitted now to leaking the advanced look at aotc - i wonder why they'd do that?) and all others who blindly love the star wars pictures. they are not the ones who are biased. from whom an unprejudiced review is guaranteed. lord knows they have not fucked up before. allowed blind affection for a series of films or filmmakers to cloud their judgement. i mean, how can anyone call harry unbiased, especially when he prefaces robogeek's review with a statement of his own listing all the reasons not to trust the person who disagrees with him. obviously he just wants everyone to get the complete picture. same with moriarty, who has taken time to post in this talkbacker essentially saying the same things as harry. fueling the flame war. they are the truly unbiased. right?

  • May 13, 2002, 5:40 p.m. CST

    Contrary to what you may say

    by laguna_loire

    Robogeek's review is OTT in many places but I don't think it shows he hates the Star Wars saga - rather it shows he loves the Star Wars saga and was let down in his own views. If I told you I found Lord of the Rings:the Fellowship of the Ring a boring, uninspired load of Brit luvvies (and yes, I reside in the UK, so don't flame me fellow anglophiles!!) and international actors competing for who had the most outstanding hair in what might be the most expensive Timotei ad in history (to build on what one of the writers said in SFX, a cool magazine this month, of it) then you'd flame me to death right? Its only my opinion. I respect the fact that there's loads of people out there who loved it and good to 'em!! All the same, I'm still gonna see this one, I like what I've heard so far, and if I do find that it delights then I'm not going to say "OH NO!! THE CRITICS HATED IT!! I'M A F&*KING MORON!!"!! I loved Harry Potter and I seem to remember the ire of many critics on that one. I'll seeya in the queues folks!!

  • May 13, 2002, 5:52 p.m. CST

    Regarding some TB's defending the prequels, the critics DID

    by IAmLegolas

    According to www.rottentomatoes.com : Star Wars = 97%.... Empire = 97%.... Return = 79%.... Phantom = 58%.... Clones = 64%

  • May 13, 2002, 6:01 p.m. CST

    WHY CRITICS AIN'T WORTH A SHIT...

    by MCVamp

    This is from the NY Times' reviewer (Vincent Canby?) in 1980:The Force is with us but let's try to keep our heads. These things are certifiable: "The Empire Strikes Back," George Lucas's sequel to his "Star Wars," the biggest grossing motion picture of all time, has opened. On the basis of the early receipts, "The Empire Strikes Back" could make more money than any other movie in history, except, maybe, "Star Wars." It is the second film in a projected series that may last longer than the civilization that produced it. Confession: When I went to see "The Empire Strikes Back" I found myself glancing at my watch almost as often as I did when I was sitting through a truly terrible movie called "The Island." The Empire Strikes Back" is not a truly terrible movie. It's a nice movie. It's not, by any means, as nice as "Star Wars." It's not as fresh and funny and surprising and witty, but it is nice and inoffensive and, in a way that no one associated with it need be ashamed of, it's also silly. Attending to it is a lot like reading the middle of a comic book. It is amusing in fitful patches but you're likely to find more beauty, suspense, discipline, craft and art when watching a New York harbor pilot bring the Queen Elizabeth 2 into her Hudson River berth, which is what "The Empire Strikes Back" most reminds me of. It's a big, expensive, time-consuming, essentially mechanical operation. Gone from "The Empire Strikes Back" are those associations that so enchanted us in "Star Wars," reminders of everything from the Passion of Jesus and the stories of Beowulf and King Arthur to those of Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn, the Oz books, Buck Rogers and Peanuts. Strictly speaking, "The Empire Strikes Back" isn't even a complete narrative. It has no beginning or end, being simply another chapter in a serial that appears to be continuing not onward and upward but sideways. How, then, to review it? The fact that I am here at this minute facing a reproachful typewriter and attempting to get a fix on "The Empire Strikes Back" is, perhaps, proof of something I've been suspecting for some time now. That is, that there is more nonsense being written, spoken and rumored about movies today than about any of the other so-called popular arts except rock music. The Force is with us, indeed, and a lot of it is hot air. Ordinarily when one reviews a movie one attempts to tell a little something about the story. It's a measure of my mixed feelings about "The Empire Strikes Back" that I'm not at all sure that I understand the plot. That was actually one of the more charming conceits of "Star Wars," which began with a long, intensely complicated message about who was doing what to whom in the galactic confrontations we were about to witness and which, when we did see them, looked sort of like a game of neighborhood hide-and-seek at the Hayden Planetarium. One didn't worry about its politics. One only had to distinguish the good persons from the bad. This is pretty much the way one is supposed to feel about "The Empire Strikes Back," but one's impulse to know, to understand, cannot be arrested indefinitely without doing psychic damage or, worse, without risking boredom. Fuck the critics. Fuck them right up their stupid asses. Have a nice week.

  • who are the sole cause of Fanboy Flame Wars, starvation in Africa, Jock Itch, and Entropy. ...And oh yeah, I almost forgot: eat shit and die die die!!11 u r gay!!!!111

  • May 13, 2002, 6:02 p.m. CST

    Chill. Robogeek speaks wise words.

    by drfinkelstein

    You don&#39;t have to agree with him, but accept that he has an opinion he can back up with actual movie references. Unlike the misspelled, empty raves AICN posts about nearly every movie, including this one. <br> For my money, TPM did suck, and it did so in a way that devalued the earlier movies. Like replacing the mystical Force with measurable, silly midichlorians. Or having Jar-Jar and a kid shouting "Yippee!" be more effective in battle than trained Jedi. Nonsensical plots and abused CGI. While just bad as a movie on its own, it was worse judged by what it could (and should) have been, given so many years and so much money. In the trailers for AOTC I see the same abysmal dialogue and story. I can&#39;t accept &#39;good enough&#39; for such an effort, and neither did Robogeek. If you want a movie you&#39;ll enjoy rewatching ten years from now (like ESB), you should set a high standard.

  • May 13, 2002, 6:07 p.m. CST

    BOYCOTT STAR WARS

    by fonebone

    Amen, Robogeek. Harry&#39;s ridiculous attempt to defend his review at the beginning of this powerful indictment is a signal that he, too, will soon be letting slip that maybe the movie isn&#39;t as good as he thought it was. (Just like Ep. I, Godzilla, Armageddon, etc.) We MUST fight back, as consumers, and just AVOID THIS MOVIE! Are you with me people? Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no! And it ain&#39;t over now. Join me -- write to boycottstarwars@yahoo.com for more info.

  • May 13, 2002, 6:09 p.m. CST

    I&#39;m afraid I agree with most of General Custer&#39;s comment

    by Butch_McTavish

    None of my friends, or I (and we&#39;re ol&#39; time fans who saw the first SW in the theaters at least 18 times!), liked the way Lucas "improved" his original three movies. In particular, a special note of anguish ushered from our collective throats when we first viewed the Han Solo shoot out in the Cantina. And if I recall correctly, many others in the audience moaned as well. Nothing about it works. Aesthetically, it&#39;s offensive. Nostalgically, it&#39;s hideous. Oh, and just for the record, dissenting critics like Robogeek and Alexandra Dupont (whose critique I thought was rather well written) have every right to their opinions. In any case, going into the theaters with such low expectations, I&#39;m bound to enjoy it (ie., just trying to be optimistic folks).

  • May 13, 2002, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Now I am actually pissed!!

    by laguna_loire

    I hate all these stupid geeks so ingrained with hate for the Star Wars trilogy because GOLLY GOSH!! THE PHANTOM MENACE WASN&#39;T A CLASSIC!! LORD OF THE RINGS DIDN&#39;T RECEIVE THE OSCARS OR COMMERCIAL ACCLAIM IT SHOULD&#39;VE!! THAT THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY WERE SO MUCH BETTER (come on folks, Jedi was a flawed movie)!! WE NEED SOMETHING TO FLAME!! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!?! George Lucas I think listened to the criticisms made and has tried to give something approximating to what you really want. George, I&#39;m sorry mate, what can I say? Stupid bloody single-minded geeks determined to hate the film without a repreive. Why don&#39;t they go and use all that hate on something that needs it? Movies now are not decreed excellent or bad by way of word-of-mouth or a review, but whether the director has scarred your childhood dreams. There are a lot out there that don&#39;t deserve to watch this film - they deserve some a blank cinema screen, for they wouldn&#39;t know the difference. Go and get a life!!

  • May 13, 2002, 6:12 p.m. CST

    LOTR: F

    by Butch_McTavish

  • May 13, 2002, 6:12 p.m. CST

    LOTR: F

    by Butch_McTavish

  • May 13, 2002, 6:17 p.m. CST

    As soon as we found out that GL even seriously considered puttin

    by AntoniusBloc

    why is this review a suprprise to anyone? TPM was a disaster, and a reflection that GL&#39;s goal is no longer to bring an artistic vision to life, but to make as much money as possible, and make a film as "pop" as you can. GL&#39;s consideration of putting Nsync in the film should have been the final indication that Lucas no longer cares about his story. Another indication was when TPM won an MTV award and GL made a speech telling Sam Jackson how he&#39;s gonna write him a good fight scene this time. That&#39;s when I first had a real sense that Star Wars was dead. Then nsync. Then the ridiculous teaser, with dialogue worse then Titanic. Then the "Death sticks" scene before the music video which i laughed out loud at. Was that a bugaloo? Was Sid and Mary Kroft in charge of make-up? I haven&#39;t seen AOTC, but the jedi look weak. Forget the dumb decisions robo mentions, they just suck. When Ben Kenobi first mentions the Clone Wars in the original Star Wars, I imagined these cool Jedi knights. Frankly,from what i&#39;ve seen,they look like the Taliban. What a disappointment. I will watch it opening day, and hope against hope. However, will not be going to the first midnight showing unless i hear the Two Towers teaser will be attached. Wow, what a great 4 minute preview by PJ. Can&#39;t wait for the teaser. Off topic, great job again by Raimi on Spiderman who outdid himself with the great job he did in Darkman, a film he mentioned that he drew a lot from.

  • May 13, 2002, 6:22 p.m. CST

    LOTR: FOTR fans (counting me) need to lay off!

    by Butch_McTavish

    Come on folks, I am as big a Tolkien fan/disciple/nut as the next person, but this barrage of negative harassment towards the SW universe and its fans (of which I count myself one) is silly and petty. We&#39;re all bigger than that. And let&#39;s not get too full of ourselves either... much can still go horribly wrong with TTT and ROTK and if any of you work in the film industry, you damn well know I&#39;m right. Jackson & co. are done with only 1/3 the battle to put Tolkien&#39;s masterwork on screen. So, let&#39;s all take it easy. We&#39;re all fans of fantastic films, and Star Wars will always be one of our genre&#39;s milestones. Peace.

  • Thank you, move on.

  • Followup: He quickly came to his senses and instead went on the forums to post how much AOTC sucks over and over without ever seeing it! To followup, he burned an efigy of George Lucas in front of his local cineplex and harrased the people waiting in line for AOTC while dressed in a Spiderman costume!! Damn, that is so cool.

  • May 13, 2002, 6:53 p.m. CST

    Ebert & Roeper: has the world gone insane?

    by St.Buggering

    Roeper gives thumbs up to Spider-Man, while Ebert gives it thumbs down, only to have the anomaly repeat itself a week later with Attack Of The Clones. What the hell? I can&#39;t count on anything anymore.

  • May 13, 2002, 6:55 p.m. CST

    why harry?

    by harry_on_payroll

    ok, we know george lucas wined you & dined you & paid you to loooooooove this movie. but damn, let robogeek speak his mind without such a pitiful preface. I used to actually read this site for reviews...i hope you enjoy your 15 min man! Cuz once your credibility&#39;s gone, you can kiss those roundtrip tix to skywalker ranch goodbye.

  • May 13, 2002, 7:01 p.m. CST

    The Score OR...Going Back On My Word

    by jollydwarf

    I said last Thursday that this shit had reached critical mass (pun intended? Hmm, sure, why not?) and that I was going to sit the sidelines until about a week after the &#39;commoner&#39;s release&#39; (which, mind you, is the one I&#39;m going to as well). But the key thing to keep in mind as we go through this shit over and over and OVER again is that THIS IS AN UNREVIEWABLE FILM. There is NO WAY that ANYONE can watch this film and hope to be objective or &#39;fair&#39;, in the same way that one would be fair watching "The Sum of All Fears" or "Enough" or, well, ANY OTHER NON-PREQUEL FILM EVER MADE! That doesn&#39;t mean that people are entitled to their own opinions, but between corrupt sites shilling for Lucas and critics overcompensating for their embarassingly positive review of "Menace" and spazzoids at theforce.net that would love a Jar Jar bukkake film and critics who want to hate it/wouldn&#39;t risk their precious fucking &#39;integrity&#39; to tip their fucking beret to this franchise, to former Star Wars geeks who have defected over the last three years to "OTG"s (Original Trila-G Gangstas)...Jesus, do you see how powerful these films are? The point is, if the film is truly shit, then everyone can witness this. But apparently it&#39;s not. Nor is it Citizen Kane 2K2. What it is is one of those ever-so-rare films that are more of a looking glass. WHAT YOU&#39;RE GOING TO SEE IN THIS FILM IS YOURSELF. And no one should apologize for that. All the reviews have done for me is clear my head, not confuse it. The sheer gamut of ratings makes it impossible to draw a bead on the OVERALL PACKAGE. And besides critics are "not to be trusted." You should know this by now. By the way, WHO SAW THE SCI-FI FAN FILM AWARDS LAST NIGHT? Would it only "figure" that the "George Lucas Select" Award goes to a "cutesy" but subpar Pixar-knockoff song-and-dance for Star Wars merchandise. The guy is just flat-out amazing. No shame what-so-fucking-ever. Oh, and you wanna hear something scary? This site isn&#39;t even CLOSE to critical mass. See you at 12:01 A.M.....

  • May 13, 2002, 7:19 p.m. CST

    WAY too much analysis

    by Knotthead

    Before contributing my first ever talbalk at this site, let me say that I am a huge fan of the original trilogy and was disappointed with Ep 1 - unlike others, though, I didn&#39;t find the acting, or Jar Jar, or "weak" action sequences the reason for being disappointed. Instead, it was the pacing: that 45 minute dead space between escaping from Naboo and the pod race (if only Lucas has used the pod race to introduce anakin the film would have been so much better . . . and shorter). That "dead space" did nothing to enhance the SW universe; it only made flaws within the universe (like the acting and the annoyance of Jar Jar) unbearably apparant. That said, is anyone else as confused about this upcoming movie as I am? Visit Rotten Tomatoes and you&#39;ll see such a mixed bag of responses (everything from this is the best SW film to ATOC is nothing more than a string of subpar special effects) that I have no idea as to whether or not this film will be any good. I will say this, though: the reviews, the talkbalks, everything said about this movie is an example of over-analysis. Anybody who has seen it - love or hate - has so much evidence of their opinion in the way of references to the film that it would seem they spent more time typing notes on a laptop than actually watching the movie. In my opinion, SW is not Sullivan&#39;s Travels or On the Waterfront or even Blade Runner. It&#39;s pure escapism, meant to be nothing other than the best damn rollercoaster that Holleywood has to offer. The reviewers seem to have forgotten that, as have the fanboys who expect SW to have matured along with their own taste in film. That said, someone can confirm (for me) whether or not AOTC will be good by answering one simple question: is the pacing (like in Empire) seemless, forbidding you to catch your breath lest you miss one laser beam? Or do the characters spend 45 minutes wandering around Tatooine in order to provide the basis for "story"?

  • May 13, 2002, 7:31 p.m. CST

    If I see this movie, will I get to kill englishmen?

    by MrPeanut

    There is only one way to really enjoy TPM - get incredibly stoned and think of jar-jar as a talking frog. That actually makes it tolerable. I can suspend disbelief and ignore plotholes with the best of them, but constantly ludicrous dialogue is where I draw the line, and that last film has it in spades. This one sounds as if it might have similar problems, basically because Lucas has no one policing him anymore. I&#39;ll still see it, tho, just for Yoda if nothing else.

  • May 13, 2002, 7:32 p.m. CST

    Your time is about up Harry...

    by VanMan

    Harry, I really feel sorry for you dude. When all of these rabid fanboys see this piece of shit movie (I saw it, same beefs: everyone gives their lines as if they were reading a fucking recipe on camera, the movie is filled with cheese that doesn&#39;t fly in the post-Marix or even in the post-Blade Runner days) and realize what a load of shit you have been feeding them since your (inappropriate) orgasm at SXSW, they&#39;re going to turn on you, and they are going to hammer you like the fat studio-bottom feeding bitch you really are. Your days are numbered dude, and what a shame, because you used to have something cool going here. I can see it now: Harry Knowles gives George of the Jungle 2 three thumbs up! Says the free promo kit he got didn&#39;t effect his opinion at all!! Dude, this movie was utter crap. I didn&#39;t think a movie could make me hate C3PO, and the last twenty minutes did. Oh and why, when Hayden told Natalie that he went bat shit and killed every sand person he could find ("Not just the men, but the women and children too. I hate them!") was her response (pronounce this one phonetically kids) "Oh, I guess you were mean, because it&#39;s okay, we can run off to Geonasis, I&#39;ll fall out of the ship onto a sanddune so that Obiwan can treat you like a schlep, and then we&#39;ll run back to Naboo and get hitched, even though you act like a stalker."??? Remember when Godzilla came out and Lucasfilm put the infamous "Plot Does Matter" sign on their website? This one is for them: "ACTING DOES MATTER" Oh well, my six year-old cousing will just love this movie, Kung-fu-freakin Yoda and all....

  • May 13, 2002, 7:37 p.m. CST

    Robogeek = Class A Tree Hugger

    by naskar258

    come on man, get a life, none of us care about all this technical mumbo jumbo. People goto movies these days to get entertained. They don&#39;t go to analyze every single detail about a movie. Sure it probably will have it&#39;s flaws, but every movie does. So if you wanna be a true "critic" go see it again, without thinking all that garbage and go as a fan, not a tool.

  • May 13, 2002, 7:39 p.m. CST

    In the immortal words of Yoda...

    by JediSean

    Suspend disbelief you must, or suffer Robo Geeks fate you will... It sounds like this guy isn&#39;t really much of a fan of Star Wars. From all the reviews of this movie I&#39;ve read- and I&#39;ve read a lot- It sounds like there&#39;s alot to get excited about! And I&#39;m sure all questions will be answered in Episode II, espeacially about the Tusken Raiders kiddnapping Shmi, and who was behind it... In the meantime, if you want to read a review by a REAL Star Wars fan go to my web site on Saturday when I post my Star Wars: Episode II review. Until then, you can read my Spiderman review! http://www.geocities.com/SeattleBoi21/new_millennium.html (C) 2002 New Millennium Entertainment

  • May 13, 2002, 7:58 p.m. CST

    Red Means Go, Green Means Stop OR...&#39;Gentlemen, This Is The

    by jollydwarf

    How do I feel at this moment in the ever-trippy spacefilmtime continuum? Do you know that scream Phil Anselmo lets out at the beginning of "The Great Southern Trendkill"? Yeah, about that sane. But the funniest thing right now is the traffic light that is Rottentomatoes.com! Click now, and see the green &#39;splat!&#39; Click tonight, and see the ripe, red tomato! Or for Danny-Q, "tomatoe". And so on. Right now, after 31 reviews, it&#39;s at 58%, which sounds a lot like...yeah, it&#39;s a conspiracy or destiny, I know. But I TRIPLE-DOG-DARE someone for their "official" review to flip a coin, &#39;heads&#39; being positive and &#39;tails&#39; being negative. And just tell people that someone witnessed the coin flip and what the result was. YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO THAT ROUTE. Because as hard as it is to review this film fairly (either way), it&#39;s that much harder to have your review do anything other than PREACH TO YOUR OWN DENOMINATION&#39;S CHOIR. No one is out there going "Someone, please make up my mind for me" on this one. Oh, and don&#39;t forget that Rush and Weezer have albums coming out tomorrow. Just thought I&#39;d give you two contenders for "What&#39;s In The AICN Disc-Changer" this month. This site doesn&#39;t have to be all G-Lu, all the time, you know. Oh well, two and a half days before I start officially campaigning for Eminem Skywalker in Episode III. With Beetlejuice (from Howard Stern) schlepping Padme while Anakin&#39;s getting fitted for his new suit!

  • May 13, 2002, 8:01 p.m. CST

    Sorry, fanboys, the party&#39;s over, A.O.T.C. is a BIG disappoi

    by VistaSierra

    I for one, cheer for Robogeek&#39;s frank and honest review for the SLOW AS FUCKING HELL Attack of the Clones! Just when you thought acting couldn&#39;t get any worse than that of The Phantom SHITTER, we now have the whiny, ass Heyden Christensen to assist in the Jake Lloyd department. Yes, the digital technology DOES NOT help matters much as it makes the action look VERY fussy, However, it was MUCH better than The Phantom SHITTER, but not by much, Count Dooku and Jango Fett are much better villians than sorry ass Darth Maul was, and of course that very kick ass Yoda/Count Dooku lightsaber fight, along with hundreds of clone troopers kicking the living shit out of those gay ass battle droids, (FUCK LUCAS get rid of the kiddie bullshit) Overall, MUCH darker than TPM with a cool Fett beheading, but NOWHERE near as great as the classic, holy trilogy. LUCAS, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CLOSE UP THE STAR WARS SHOP FOREVER AFTER EPISODE III, BECAUSE THE PREQUELS ARE SORRY! Hell, give me Spider-Man or The Two Towers anyday! I happen to be a fan of Spider Man, Star Wars, AND LOTR, (But, I&#39;m sorry, both The Phantom SHITTER, the worst sci-fi movie of all time, and AOTC are downright disappointments compared to the greatness of Luca&#39;s classic trilogy, I&#39;m sorry, fans, but Luca&#39;s best days were over 15 years ago!

  • May 13, 2002, 8:02 p.m. CST

    I couldnt agree more with Robogeek

    by Matt_Szymanski

    AOTC in no way measures up to the origional trilogy. The dialogue is pretty bad and seems more like theyre just filling in plot holes rather than making a movie. Don&#39;t get me wrong, the movie was by no means as crappy as TPM, but this is not enough to make the movie good. Fans who trash reviewers like Robogeek will obviously love the movie, they&#39;ve already made up their mind without seeing it. However, people like me who go in with an open mind and half a brain will likely hate the movie because of its numerous flaws

  • May 13, 2002, 8:06 p.m. CST

    For the last time: THE REASON YODA HAD TROUBLE WITH THE CRANE IS

    by Atticus Finch

    Jesus, how hard is that to fucking understand!?

  • May 13, 2002, 8:07 p.m. CST

    Continuity in Star Wars

    by Mark Twain

    I have always been concerned about continuity issues in Star Wars, starting with Return of the Jedi. After that film I couldn&#39;t watch the Leia/Luke kiss in Empire the same way. Forgetting the world created in a previous film leads to Star Trek. And Lucas has only 4 films to draw on, it shouldn&#39;t get this messy. Sure, most people don&#39;t care. Many people on this site do. Sure I&#39;ll see the movie, and I expect to enjoy it more than Robogeek. It sounds like Lucas is getting the train back on track though.

  • May 13, 2002, 8:09 p.m. CST

    star wars movie reviews

    by fun guy

    hey all you dumb star wars fans sometimes there are people that don&#39;t like star wars because the movies started getting really gay the minute jabba died in the third movie. after that they werent as cool and started to be kids movies. this guy wrote a review that normal people (people that used to like star wars) can relate to and we believe him more than people just saying its great.

  • May 13, 2002, 8:16 p.m. CST

    Robogeek raped my viewing experience!

    by Pizza The Hut

    ...well, not really, but that&#39;s about the only witty comeback I come make to all this laughable "Lucas raped my childhood" crap. Some days, I wish there was no Internet. The original trilogy came out during a time before the Internet came along, and THANK GOD!!! Back then, you didn&#39;t have the temptation to read through a gazillion reviews by every punkbutt on the face of the earth, and no wonder... THERE WAS NO INTERNET!!! You simply heard a few reviews on TV or in the newspaper, went to see a film, enjoyed it for what it was worth, went home, thought about it, and went to bed. TODAY, there is just sooooo much opinionated overkill, it makes it very difficult to enjoy ANY film without being critical about it in advance, and I personally hate that feeling. I miss the old days... The reviews were as mixed back then as they are today, but there were only a small number of them to read or hear in advance. Were ESB or ROTJ perfect films??? Heck, no!! ...and the critics were not kind even back then in many cases. Didn&#39;t matter to me, because I went to films to judge for myself, and personally, I didn&#39;t care what they said, because right or wrong, the film is simply there for one purpose and one purpose only: to entertain people, and to make money. Back then, you only had a few critics trying to drive a few nails into the film&#39;s coffin. No big deal... Today, EVERYONE tries to drive those nails, and drive them hard! It&#39;s sad, really... There&#39;s so many more important things in life, and here people do nothing but whine and moan over a film (before it&#39;s even out) like it&#39;s a matter of life and death. IT&#39;S A FILM, people!... Whoever&#39;s right or wrong in their criticisms of it, just chill out and enjoy it for what it is... A FILM!!!

  • May 13, 2002, 8:17 p.m. CST

    the thing on 3po and owen and other bitchings

    by bradsand

    Okayf first of all Robogeek needs to leave all that film school mumbo jumbo horseshit at the door, this guy tore the film from limb to limb- what you gotta realize is this is STAR WARS- there are flaws and goofy shit in the original trilogy just most of us that grew up with those films hold them so close to our hearts THAT WE DON&#39;&#39;T SEE THEM- the original trilogy was not perfect- nor will this new trilogy be either- but shit folks i&#39;m excited were going to see Darth Vader get suited up, Yoda whooping ass, a huge jedi battle: come on this shit is gonna be FUN. I normally tear down every film I see, but I want to be entertained- thats what Star Wars is about- its a big budget hollywood popcorn flick. Oh and about the thing with owen- there are other droids that look like c3po and r2- remember the other c3p0 unit in episode4? and the other c3po unit in episode 1? okay i have rambled angrily long enough.... LONG LIVE STAR WARS

  • May 13, 2002, 8:28 p.m. CST

    ROBA CHILD&#39;S TALE

    by atrocity

    It&#39;s funny how a lot of people are saying that their childhood has been raped. Well, if you ask me, this definitely sounds like a child ranting about how he didn&#39;t get the plastic train for christmas but got a race car instead. No matter how hard you try to explain to this child that there are no more plastic trains and how we have evolved into the race car era; the child will not be satisfied. This is very childish, very interesting under the psichology scope. The mighty ego and the mindset determine that the child in fact would not enjoy ANY other toy but the one he has imagined for himself. The child is hence uncapable of separating from his own capritious self since he lacks the maturity to project his persona and wishes into reality. A generaly funny conduct that we build tolerance around and tend to advise against in order for the child to be more centered and aware of how progress goes. This case is really worrisome since the child is 30 and has public reach to a certain extent.

  • Robo is a GENIUS, did it ever cross your FAN GIRL minds the real reason lucas chose the title AOTC? It has nothing to do with the movie,and everything to do with you blind fans!YOU ARE THE CLOANS, and lucas knows it,whatever swill he slings,the cloans will slurp it down in mindless STORMTROOPER FASHION!! Yes much like fat middle aged Elvis fans burrowing ahead to the front of the stage circa 1975 to get a glimps of fat,sweaty, jelly doughnut Elvis, hoping that at some point a glimer of the legend that used to be might show himself, you fans squezze your fat butts into cineplex seats, eyes open, mouths agape sucking on lucas&#39;s FLACID plot lines like it were doughnut filling!By the way, the real question is WHY DIDN&#39;T C-3PO RECOGNIZE OWEN AND BERU?? MMMMMMMMM.......I can feel your anger young fanboys and girls,take your keypads, and talk me down with all of your hatred and your journey to the darkside will be complete!!!!!!!

  • May 13, 2002, 8:40 p.m. CST

    ITS A BAAAAD MOVIE

    by pippin73

    As a masive star wars fan( i even partly enjoyed episode1) .. i was really keyed up for clones .. but the truth is it sucked massively... where the hell did they get haydon christianson from... people complained about the kid who played anakin in episode 1 .. but to all intents and purposes his perfmance was majestic compared to the wooden mr christianson .. he simply has far too much screen time... hes utterly horrendous . the dialouge is laughable.. portman is nearly as bad .. the only redeemingfeature of teh film is ewan giving his amusing alec guiness impression.... fuck at least it had both liam neeson and ewan mcgregor in episode 1 .. the set pieces are spectacluar but kinda cheesy as well ... the arean battle with the jedi was a pile of shit beyond the effects.. just how peple on this site could have given good reviews to this pi;e of crap i dont know.. Now im really really depressed .. what the hell happened to star wars ..

  • May 13, 2002, 8:43 p.m. CST

    "However, it was MUCH better than &#39;The Phantom SHITTER&#39;,

    by jollydwarf

    ...VistaSierra&#39;s unintentionally contradictory statement actually served two constructive purposes. So class, stop snickering, and listen up. First of all, the average review on the Net of this film has to really be regarded very lightly, but almost heavily. No, just kidding. Just "very lightly". I mean, what the fuck does that quoted "printbite" mean? That&#39;s the kind of shoddiness that you can look forward to slogging through for the next couple months especially. But what&#39;s even much MORE interesting, but not by much (&#39;kay, I&#39;ll stop), is that I sense that such an inherently conflicting statement may ACTUALLY ACCURATELY DESCRIBE THIS FILM. Somehow, it will be "much better" than Episode I, and yet "not much" better simultaneously. How? I think it&#39;s the perspective/parallax thing, plus this film seems to be a.)two different films, pacing-wise and b.)causing great cognitive dissonance in a number of fans. As Ms. DuPont said, "this time, it&#39;s not that simple." This time, instead of childhood hope and enthusiasm versus abject disappointment, you&#39;ve got that same dream of redemption with an anticipation of shit. So you&#39;re looking to be affirmed in two opposite directions at once. Again, an unreviewable film, one that, if nothing else, holds a legacy in film that is unprecendented and (hopefully) may never be dealt with again. So I guess that means that Episode III will be much more complicated to reflect on, but (say it with me, now) "not by much."

  • May 13, 2002, 8:48 p.m. CST

    "...But Not By Much..." or Misquote

    by jollydwarf

    Sorry, I said "...but not by VERY much..." in my previous post&#39;s Subject. I realize now that the word "very" significantly diminishes the line from SierraMist&#39;s, or VistaSierra&#39;s post. So go read the original and hopefully that speaks for itself.

  • May 13, 2002, 9:07 p.m. CST

    It&#39;s Not Just "Ani" OR...&#39;Fey&#39;-tal Attractions...

    by jollydwarf

    Is it me or have most of the Harrison Ford/Bruce Willis hero types being replaced in all mediums by these testosterone-lite characters? Anyone play Final Fantasy X? Could Tidus be more annoying? Did anyone actually like Raiden from "Metal Gear Solid: Sons of Liberty"? Is there one thing intimidating about Brandon Boyd? Look, I&#39;m not going to get into the sociological factors of &#39;why&#39; this is happening, but I&#39;d just like to make sure it actually is. Did this girly-boy thing really start the instant that CGI iceberg sideswiped the Titanic? Is this era the "Legacy of Leo"? And to those whom it may not concern, this is a white, American problem. Be thankful that you don&#39;t understand.

  • May 13, 2002, 9:17 p.m. CST

    This is a fine, honest review

    by NerdBird

    The reviewers asks a lot of questions which Lucas himself should have asked. Based on the reviews I have read, positive and negative, I think we can say certain things with confidence: Lucas hates Stars Wars and wants desperately to move on. Maybe a special edition of Howard the Duck, or the RadioLand Mystery Murders or whatever the shit was called. Fans everywhere will beg Lucas not to do a third trilogy. The risk is slight, but just in case . . . While "raped my childhood" is perhaps rhetorically extreme, I did feel significantly fucked after I finished viewing TPM. I will probably see AOTC, but I really don&#39;t want to. It&#39;s like a trip to the dentist or a physical: you know you are going to do it, but man, it will be no fun. As for Harry, I think most readers know the code by now. When Harry says something sucks, he is almost certainly correct. When he says you are going to pee your pants in joy and excitement, he is almost certainly pulling your leg or some appendage. George, wherever you are, be ashamed, be very ashamed. And Marsha, you were right.

  • May 13, 2002, 9:20 p.m. CST

    by fun guy

    yeah you&#39;re right jolly dwarf. in star wars that white american all male character was han solo and their isn&#39;t a character like that in the new ones

  • May 13, 2002, 9:30 p.m. CST

    great talback

    by talbuckin

    i did not have so much fun since sawing Attack of the clones! Wait...! The most amusing thing is people saying plot point holes here and there, And get this, they just saw a movie called Episode II that we all know will be followed by Episode III!!!!!!!! Dam, i thought Episode III was going to be about how to take care of hamsters and other domestics pets in tropical enviroments and now it turns out is the follow up of Episode II! Is there any chance those both movies will be plot-related? Naaahhh. Most of the question here asked have a very easy answer if you just think, for fucks sake. 3PO wont remember the Lars (just like R2) because, and i am absolutely certain about this, their memory will be erased so they can

  • May 13, 2002, 9:33 p.m. CST

    hey

    by talbuckin

    this is really fun! I meant seeing not sawing lol 3:30 am you know

  • May 13, 2002, 9:42 p.m. CST

    YASWCF--Yet Another Star Wars Cluster Fuck.

    by Noriko Takaya

    Can&#39;t we all just get along?! Wait, I know--lets all sing! Comeon, it&#39;ll make ya feel better: "Everybody here is out of sight/they don&#39;t bark and they don&#39;t bite/they keep things loose they keep things tight/everybody was danc-ing in the moon-light-!/everybody DANC-ING IN THE MOON-LIGHT--EVERYBODY&#39;S FEEL-IN&#39; WARM AND BRIGHT IT&#39;S SUCH A FINE AND NATURAL SIGHT/EVERYBODY&#39;S DANC-ING IN THE MOON-LIGHT-!" Sing it with me now! "DANC-ING IN THE MOON-LIGHT--EVERYBODY&#39;S FEEL-IN&#39; WARM AND BRIGHT--"

  • May 13, 2002, 9:46 p.m. CST

    Come feel the love, everyone! Like on XENA! "DANCING IN THE MOON

    by Noriko Takaya

    --EVER&#39;BODY&#39;S FEEL-IN&#39; WARM AN&#39; BRIGHT/IT&#39;S SUCH A FINE AND NATURAL SIGHT/EVER&#39;BODY&#39;S DANCIN&#39; IN THE MOON-LIGHT--"

  • May 13, 2002, 9:53 p.m. CST

    talbuckin don&#39;t defend bad plot lines!

    by eon flux

    If c-3po has his memory erased as you so vehemently support, than why is he able to remember his past owner&#39;s. If you remember, Luke begs him to talk about the battles they were in with the rebels. i suppose you will cry: No it was a selective memory erasing!! Don&#39;t cover for lucas!!!!!

  • May 13, 2002, 10:04 p.m. CST

    think my friend

    by talbuckin

    so you think his memory was erased just before he meets luke? Come on pal! his memory will be erased (if Lucas wants of course) at the moment the kids are born. Since then, till he meets Luke, 16 years will pass. Are you telling me this golden droid is going to stay at home reading Anna Karenina (maybe twice)? no my friend, he will spend all those years having adventures here and there with new owners and fucking R2D2 everytime he gets the chance to. these are the battles he talks about with luke. Not this trilogy adventures. Pretty simple.

  • May 13, 2002, 10:10 p.m. CST

    and!

    by talbuckin

    and they could just deleted partiton d: (where c3po keeps all the information related to this first trilogy) and keep on working with drive c: (system drive) and e: (where he stores the rest of data and all those thesaurus)

  • May 13, 2002, 10:17 p.m. CST

    Episode II is a great film don&#39;t listen to this asshole

    by McCarron

    OK guys I mnaged to get a bootleg copy of AOTC on Sunday. I have managed to watch the film twice and I can honestly say that this is a good film. The first half of the film has some brilliant moments in it ,but it does tend to move along a little slow at times. When Anakin and Padme arrive on Tatooine the film really kicks off. Some scenes in the film just send shivers down your spine. The most spine tingling moment is when Anakin looks up clutching his mothers body. Anakin then exits the tent and slices two tuscans in half. It then cutts to Yoda meditating. We can hear Quugon Jin (ack sorry for the wrong spelling guys)shouting "Anakin no!"which deeply disturbes Yoda. Mace Windu arrives and asks Yoda whats wrong he goes on to say Anakin has done an terrible thing. I personay found the C3PO scene quite funny. One part in particular when C3PO&#39;s attack droid body is firing at theJedi he says "Oh oh I&#39;m terribly sorry abou all this". I think we all find it hard to accept Star Wars without men in rubber suits and models hanging from piano wires (which I think looks far better than alot of CGI stuff). I know I&#39;m rambling on here ,but I don&#39;t agree with alot of what this guy is saying. If anything Episode II makes Phantom amuch better film. Please I beg you go and see this film you wont be disapointed.

  • May 13, 2002, 10:22 p.m. CST

    talbuckin

    by eon flux

    Once again,simplistic explanations in a vain atempt to cover for lucas. For the record i dont think he got his memory erased just before he met luke, i simply dont think he got it erased period!! Its just a huge mistake in the script, you said it yourself (if lucas wants to ) well if he has to change things around NOW in order to cover glaring mistakes thats just speaks to a man whos now more concerned with the bottom line than the STORY line!!!!

  • May 13, 2002, 10:26 p.m. CST

    eon

    by talbuckin

    frankly, I think my explanation is accurate. it is not a mistake and it is not simplistic, is simple! because that is the way things are. if 3po gets the memory erased Lucas is changing NOTHING of the original trilogy, really, think about this. Further proof: R2 has been instructed (reprogrammed) by Leia to find Obi Wan. 3PO does not know any obi wan, and obi does not remember having a droid (because he never had). the fact that Leia had to tell R2 what to do is proof enough that both droids have no recollections of the older owners. You dont want to believe it, ok. But I really think this will happens, and i think this way since the moment he told a new trilogy was going to be done and the dorids were going go be in them. Everyone thinks about how things will fit. If you are now crying because you couldnt find the solution yourself, fine, i will cry with you later so you wont feel alone, but now I have to sleep. Be good and dont bite my feet while I am in bed.

  • May 13, 2002, 10:28 p.m. CST

    hey

    by talbuckin

    I can read, repetition is not an argument!

  • May 13, 2002, 10:39 p.m. CST

    And Natalie Hates It, Too! OR... "Two Trailer-Dork Nerds Waitin&

    by jollydwarf

    "I&#39;ve Created a Monster/ &#39;cause no one wants to/ see Jar Jar no more/they want Chewie, he&#39;s much bigger/well if ya want Chewie then this is what I&#39;ll give ya/ a little bitta Theed mixed with some plot thickners/some guys say I musta jumped tha shark/ quicker than the knocks/ I receive from the cocks/ in the periodicals/ for my rockhard head/when I&#39;m not cooperating/when I&#39;m rocking the fable/that keeps &#39;em operating/(Yippee!) you waited this long to start debating/&#39;cause I&#39;m back and on your mag/and I&#39;ma keep the PG rating/I know you got the hots for Padme/but her husband&#39;s &#39;dark&#39; power&#39;s complicating/but those f&#39;n geeks won&#39;t let me be/but we just see who&#39;s in for three/they try to shut me down on the A-I-C/but they feel so empty without me/so, come see the shit/come make your quips/fuck that just come to grips/and come make the hit/an&#39; get ready/&#39;cause this shit&#39;s about to get heavy/I just signed all my actors/"Fuck you, Webbies!"/Now this looks like a film by me/so everybody just follow me/&#39;cause you need a little controversy/&#39;cause you&#39;d feel so empty/Without Three" (From the smash Masta G-Lu Single, "Without Three", available spring &#39;05.) Yeah, it&#39;s gonna be an interesting three years. P.S. I saw the Ebert and Roeper clip on TFN. After Anakin and Padme exchanged lines in the meadow, I almost expected both of them to turn toward the camera and say "That&#39;s right. That&#39;s what we&#39;re ALL fighting for. Democracy, and a better tomorrow." And then the NBC &#39;Rainbow Star&#39; to shoot across the sky as the camera pans up, while C-3PO&#39;s head appears in a VH-1-style pop-up, saying "The More You Know, Indeed."

  • Star wars sucks, Harry sucks and all you McDonald&#39;s brain dead burger heads are watching movies out of your ass. TPM was pure garbage, and I&#39;m sure AOTC will be close behind. Harry, you&#39;re an idiot...blah

  • May 14, 2002, 12:25 a.m. CST

    Er

    by YoYoMaMa

    I also stopped reading at "Raped my childhood". We need to come up with a law similar to Godwin&#39;s Law for comparing someone to Nazis but its used when a fanboy film-loser says something has "raped his childhood". That phrase is not only cliche, but its pretty offensive because real rape is such a horrible act. George Lucas didn&#39;t rape your childhood you fucking loser, he just made some movies. If they suck, so be it. George Lucas doesn&#39;t owe you anything you stupid fuck.

  • May 14, 2002, 12:25 a.m. CST

    talbuckin

    by eon flux

    Once again,simplistic explanations in a vain atempt to cover for lucas. For the record i dont think he got his memory erased just before he met luke, i simply dont think he got it erased period!! Its just a huge mistake in the script, you said it yourself (if lucas wants to ) well if he has to change things around NOW in order to cover glaring mistakes thats just speaks to a man whos now more concerned with the bottom line than the STORY line!!!!

  • May 14, 2002, 12:26 a.m. CST

    thatsfdup

    by holoholojoe

    have the folks ever considered that maybe King George L WANTS the actors and actress to act devoid of emotions, remember they are living in an immensely organized world pre SW:ANH. especially the Jedi , they are supposed to be calm and buddahlike. and Princess A is a politician and she&#39;s had that monotone delivery since the beginning. i think what George wants to convey in EP1 and EP2 is how this orderly society started to fall into the dark side all together and the final act is in EPIII. All this talk about shitty acting has no grounds if taken in this context, i really believe george wanted them to act that way. otherwise, there&#39;s just no freaking way that Sam the man jackson can be wooden in ANY movie, let alone how badly he wanted to be in SW. Come on, all the actors in TPM and AOTC are grade A. they&#39;ve all done great work on film before SW, it&#39;s is quite amazing to see all of them act really bad at once. and why did Christopher lee&#39;s acting seem to get better reviews, because villan can always show more emotion and vice in ANY movie, think joker and even GG, they surely chew up the scenes more than the superheros in those movies. ----------------------btw, did any of you see TPM on TV last week? with the little spoilers thats been out about AOTC, it&#39;s already made TPM a much better movie, what most folks seem to forget is when they saw the first SW movies and it is unlikely you are at that same stage in your life, given that, it is also unlikely ANY SW movies will make you happy! what these SW aficionados want is really a 30&#39;s something version of SW. but that aint gonna happen, cause george is finishing HIS vision of SW, and this 6 part SAGA the way he is presenting it is right on. take it for what it is, movies made for kids to honor the saturday serials of yesteryears. NOT some myth that some people have built it into. EVERY SW movies to data is clunky and not very well made. but the impact of these movies on a kid is much more pronounced than on a 30 something that&#39;s seen thousands of movies. ----------------------------------------------------------------so relax and feel the force! it&#39;s still there, but if you are Mad about TPM, or have fear about AOTC and not wanting to LET go of what you considered as the GEMS of SW:EP4-6, then just like yoda said, you are being seduced by the dark side cause you can&#39;t let go of your self values!!! HHHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHA see how your life mirrors the movies?

  • May 14, 2002, 12:38 a.m. CST

    Boo Hoo to Robogeek!!

    by BDPolo

    I crying tears of sadness. Not for Robogeek and his apparent rape by Lucas, but the ridiculous review. I didn&#39;t even finish it because it was so damn stupid!! You act as if your very existence was tied to Star Wars. For people like you, there can be no other good Star Wars movie. People like you are whine bags who cannot take the this series for what it is. This, and every Star Wars film, is a blast to watch, and let&#39;s you have fun at the movie theater!! Robogeeks minor gripes do not take away from the fun that AOTC is. I will say that the reviewer needs to come back to planet earth and re-evaluate movies. I can already predict that fools like him will know LOTR part 2 when it is released because the director "raped" him because he didn&#39;t have some miniscule something in the movie. Folks, Star Wars movies are fantasy with bad dialogue!! They are there for our enjoyment. Yes there are "childish" and questionable comedic timing moments, but it doesn&#39;t ruin the movie. If you want quality acting, go see some Oscar nominated film, if you want something fun, go see AOTC, and tell reviewers like him where to stick it!!

  • May 14, 2002, 12:39 a.m. CST

    Heretic walks into a cult congregation

    by PanDuh

    Heheheh.. this talkback reminds me of a heretic walking into a congregation of some cult and announcing that their "god" is less than perfect. Shouts of "Blasphemy! Heresy! How dare you, you bitter, withered old cynic!" Also notice the callings for a "suspension of disbelief". Just believe and you will see! Don&#39;t think so much, reason, rationality and objectivity are your worst enemy here. Suspend your disbelief! Then you will see the light! By the way: I saw the movie. Robogeek, although a bit callous in his approach, is right about most of his points. Let me put it this way: I though Jar Jar Binks was a breath of fresh air in this movie, and actually felt very sympathetic in this movie. Thats how bad the rest of the script was. But the action, is of course, some of the most amazing sights I have ever seen on screen. And thus is the nature of this beast that is AoTC...

  • May 14, 2002, 12:53 a.m. CST

    This has been the greatest fucking talkback...

    by Destroya

    since, well, EVER! And Jollydwarf, the voice of reason and sanity, as always. I must say however I&#39;m a bit bothered by the legions of rabidly frothing fanboys mercilessly slamming a writer of a review of a movie they haven&#39;t seen. Methinks people like that have serious maturity issues and a dearth of analytical skills, and are going to enjoy Episode II no matter what quality of film it is. In that case, I gotta ask: why do you guys read these reviews if you already have your minds made up that it is going to be such a great film? Isn&#39;t the purpose of reading movie reviews to be forewarned about what you&#39;re getting into? Ah well, I keep forgetting that a lot of people enjoy being offended...

  • May 14, 2002, 1:41 a.m. CST

    Owwwwwwww man!!! I can not believe you! What the fuck??

    by TheGinger Twit

    I don&#39;t mind you dropping spoilers here and there, but when you drop big ones in order to make them out to be stupid then that just sucks. I read the script, and the version I had was decent enough to have all the battle action and what not at the end cut - just in case some one like me gets hold of it. You can&#39;t talk like this until we have all seen it. Get it?

  • May 14, 2002, 1:47 a.m. CST

    The whole "Episode I" raped my childhood thing...

    by JediSean

    There&#39;s been something bugging me for a while now, and although I don&#39;t normally post on this site- actually this is my 3rd post ever-I feel I have something important to say to all you no life geeks out there who use phrases like "George Lucas raped my childhood." I think when you say things like that, it shows exactly how petulant and immature, and spoiled you really are... And exactly how few real challenges and real defining moments have happened in your life. When I hear someone say "Lucas raped my childhood" I can&#39;t help but imagine a 40 year old troll sitting in his parents basement with no job, no love life, no nothing... and it&#39;s just pathetic. Let&#39;s just look at the words your using- First of all "RAPE". Do you even know what that word means? Do you have any idea of how serious and traumatizing an event it can be? Some of my friends in the past were rape survivors and I&#39;m sure if they were here they&#39;d put a real life smackdown on you for trivializing the act of rape by just throwing the word around lightly. Rape is a word that should never be used describing the effect of a film on it&#39;s viewer, no matter what. It&#39;s a lack of taste, tact, and pure ignorance. And another thing... If you don&#39;t like a movie, just don&#39;t watch it, but if somebody else likes a movie- don&#39;t try to get them to hate it. Accentuate the positive, not the negative. And anyone who calls themself a Star Wars fan who trashes George Lucas is biting the hand that feeds them. The original movies were not Casablanca, they were not anything that would ever actually win Best Picture at the Academy Awards. Star Wars may have been nominated, but once the novelty passed away, the Empire Strikes Back could only hope for Special Effects nominations. Star Wars is a grab bag when it comes to permormances, some are good- some are hokey-, just because not everything is perfect doesn&#39;t that you can&#39;t enjoy. Nitpickers love to pick out the flaws in A New Hope, which felt a little dismal before the Special Edition cleaned up the print and the effect. Some of New Hope is a little boring. I&#39;m not making excuses, I&#39;m just being realistic... Folks. It&#39;s not Citizen Kane. It&#39;s Star Wars. It&#39;s supposed to fun!

  • May 14, 2002, 2 a.m. CST

    Weighing in on Ebert (get it?)

    by Voice O. Reason

    I have no opinion on Robogeek&#39;s review, since I have not actually seen the film yet. (Well, that&#39;s not completely true. I think the point of Anakin telling Padme about the Tusken was that she&#39;ll LOVE HIM NO MATTER WHAT, but I&#39;m basing this on what I&#39;ve read, and not what I&#39;ve seen.) I will, however, comment on his quoting of Roger Ebert. Ebert trashed the following films: LOTR, GLADIATOR, USUAL SUSPECTS, SPIDER-MAN, X-MEN, BATMAN, GODFATHER 2...shall I go on? Sure, Ebert&#39;s given plenty of solid reviews, but when the chips are down, he usually blows it. Big time. Is he right this time? I&#39;m not going to find out for another few days, and neither are most of you. I say, go into it with an open mind. (Besdies, I&#39;d be willing to bet that most of you didn&#39;t start hating THE PHANTOM MENACE until you already seen in a few times...it did make a half billion dollars, didn&#39;t it?)

  • May 14, 2002, 2:25 a.m. CST

    A couple more things...

    by JediSean

    I hope this throws a lot of you into a total rage against me... I was excited about Episode I when I saw it. However I had a lot of doubts. Going into the theatre I had doubts. I was sort of dutifully seeing it the first day, wanting to be in on the action... anxious to find out whether it was good or not. I was pleasently surprized. Many, many, years after Return of the Jedi, Lucas had made a movie that actually felt like Star Wars. You know, I&#39;ve seen alot of sequals in my time... and I have to say, most sequals just don&#39;t feel like the original. I never forgot while watching the Phantom Menace that I was watching a Star Wars movie, and then in itself is an accomplishment I can&#39;t ignore. I also feel it&#39;s my duty to explain something to you guys... Exposition is hard to sit through in all the Star Wars movies because we all want to get to the action so bad. I think even Lucas knows this. However, in Ep. I I think I noticed something he did, from watching it many times. Allow me to regress first... There&#39;s been alot of talk over the years about the Phantom Menace not having enough action. There&#39;s alot of build up, but only sprinkles of action until the Lightsaber Duel/Battle Droid vs. Gungan battle/ and the Space Battle with the Trade Federation Droid Control Ship. This is very purposeful. Lucas wanted us to wait... To get antsy... To get excited... To start saying, "C&#39;mon! C&#39;mon! Get to the good stuff!" and yes we has to sit through alot of exposition to get there. But when it arrives, it&#39;s like the movie has a giant orgasm (Now I sound like Harry, except I&#39;ve actually expierienced an orgasm with another person before.) and all that anticipation thats been building up inside of us the entire just EXPLODES!!! and we&#39;re riveted, and we love that entire sequance... and then afterwards, I think a lot people felt cheated because the thrills are quick and amazing, and then it seems just as quickly as they&#39;ve- They&#39;re over... and you had to wait to entire movie to get them, for it to really be Star Wars. But thats the point! It wouldn&#39;t have felt so good without the exposition, if Lucas hadn&#39;t held back... I think Star Wars: Episode I- The Phantom Menace affected me exactly the way Lucas wanted it to. And I know what I&#39;m saying is true because when I skip to the end of the DVD without watching the entire movie, the 3 sequences just don&#39;t have the same "spark". You need the build up. It&#39;s like when you&#39;re first dating someone and you hold off on the sex, because when you wait until the right time... It just feels better. I think these new Star Wars movies (Ep.I in pecticular) are really missunderstood because they&#39;re more sophisticated than the other ones were. (The guy who said that all the supposed "stilted" performances are on purpose is right on the money.) They&#39;re not being stilted, they&#39;re being polite. They live in polite society far beyond our own. Americans are probably more emotional than many societies. If you study Japanese culture, you&#39;ll notice that they aren&#39;t as "free" with their emotions as Americans. So when we see someone holding back their emotions, we think of it as being stilted or unemotional. Just because you&#39;re holding back emotions, doesn&#39;t mean they&#39;re not there, which is what we&#39;re supposed to find out about Anakin and Amidala on Thursday. And just because a movie holds off on the most exciting moments, doesn&#39;t mean they&#39;re not coming.

  • May 14, 2002, 3:03 a.m. CST

    To this review, a hearty AMEN

    by FreeJack

    This movie was BALLS, worse than Episode 1 and mind-numbingly boring on a level I never expected. Even the stuff that&#39;s SUPPOSED to be exciting has been stripped of every ounce of weight and tension. It&#39;s a great visual FX reel for ILM, though...really. Too bad about the 6th grade school play-worthy script and performances.

  • May 14, 2002, 4:33 a.m. CST

    robogeek...

    by jedi_master97

    and now for ur entertainment..... Congratulations, your Talk Back has been chosen for submission to the FBI! Best, - Robo grow up man and get off your high horse jm Make me, punkass. - Robo

  • May 14, 2002, 5:35 a.m. CST

    I cannot think of a better way to eliminate carriers of sub-opti

    by Rael Trajan

    This talkback is the best display of absolutist, no-chance-of-survival type unintelligence among the Western generality to hit the net since the 9-11 talkback. Robogeek is clearly operating on a higher plane than most of you sad, sad little viral loads. Appreciation of TPM and movies like it, the inability to recognise the fundamental TRUTH of reviews of AOTC such as Robogeek & Ebert&#39;s, can be compared with: 1) Creationism, 2) Not recognising that Noam Chomsky & Robert Fisk kick ass, 3) Believing social security is a bad idea. Vectors of said memes must be &#39;sanitized&#39; immediately for the good of humankind. ****** Only joking. Diversity is essential in an effectively evolving system. But c&#39;mon guys, what the fuck are you smoking?

  • People, it&#39;s one thing to accept or not accept a negative review from a critic. I&#39;m my own critic for one and I don&#39;t need anyone to decide for me what I will and won&#39;t like. But to think this jack-ass is credible by his thinking TPM is racist is pure shit. If any of you really saw a something "racially" offensive in TPM then you and ROBOGEEK deserve eahother in the paranoid,miserable world you choose to live in. PS I know it&#39;s out there...it just wasn&#39;t in TPM you asshole, sheeeesh.

  • May 14, 2002, 7:57 a.m. CST

    What&#39;s wrong with you people?

    by rb

    Jeez, some people here are unbelievable! Condemning Robogeek merely because he desn&#39;t like the new Star Wars film is just wrong. Fact is Robogeek is right on the money. In the cold light of day Clones illustrates Lucas&#39; severe limitations as a film-maker more clearly than ever before. He is, put simply, a very poor writer and and a poor director of actors. Why do you think Empire is so good? It&#39;s because scriptwriter Leigh Brackett (Casablanca, anyone?) wrote the dialogue. It&#39;s because Irvin Kershner new how to direct actors whilst letting ILM get on with the effects. Lucas is ALL about effects, and no-one at Lucasfilm dares tell him that he is terrible at connecting with actors. In the original Star Wars, made before he was revered as some kind of god, the young cast argued with Lucas about their performances and as a result no doubt improved the tone of the film. The only George Lucas film in which the acting is very strong is American Graffiti. However, Francis Coppola was the producer on this film and as rumour has it, he did a heck of alot more on this film than he gets credit for! Lucas should have stuck to producing and hired new young directors to work on the films. Allegedly, David Fincher was at one point cited as a possible helmer for Star Wars Episode III. Now that WOULD have been a movie to see!

  • May 14, 2002, 8:02 a.m. CST

    oh thank you, i will not see this movie!

    by VincentSpain

    yeah, right...

  • May 14, 2002, 8:41 a.m. CST

    JediSean...

    by DukeOfSpiders

    ...while I understand and agree with your analogy, you must bear in mind the majority of eleven- and forty-year-olds who post on these forums have never had an orgasm with someone other than themselves if at all. You might as well be speaking another language -- and not Klingon or Sindarin.

  • May 14, 2002, 8:49 a.m. CST

    The preface to this review embarrasses me

    by centipede

    Why allow anyone to post reviews here at all if the Minister of Propaganda is going to attempt to discredit them ? The more I come to this site, the more I am reminded that H.K. is a whiney geek. His ability to fall back to his "child-mind" and just enjoy a SW movie is so much better than the rest of us, that he can&#39;t appreciate that a movie actually has to HELP the rest of us get to that state. Generally, to help most people reach that state, the movie has to have reasonable dialogue, characters and plot. That&#39;s one, two , three strikes your out for both TPM and AOTC.

  • May 14, 2002, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Brackett and Empire

    by Almost Sexy

    Regarding Rb&#39;s post: I read a magazine article (a Kirshner interview) a while back wherein he stated that very very little of what Brackett wrote was actually used in the film. Almost none of it, in fact, and that it was largely Kasdan&#39;s work, based on a story by Lucas. Unfortunately I don&#39;t have the magazine anymore, or I would give y&#39;all a quote. By the by, I hope everyone that goes to see (Attack of the) "Clones" has a good time.

  • May 14, 2002, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Hey! What&#39;s with the Goon Squad?

    by LordZanthos

    Just because you don&#39;t agree with RoboGeek (and I don&#39;t), doesn&#39;t mean you have to be so horribly violent. Chill. If you really don&#39;t agree, make an intelligent and sensible argument so you can be taken more seriously. RoboGeek is a nice guy with an honest opinion... and that&#39;s just what it is: AN OPINION!!!! By it&#39;s very nature, a person&#39;s opinion can&#39;t be wrong, because it&#39;s theirs! Granted, critics as a group (especially that inconsistent dolt Ebert), are hacks and a**holes most of the time, but Robo is simply a movie watcher that some of us don&#39;t agree with. Chill! It&#39;s a damn movie, not the second coming! I&#39;m going to go and see it and enjoy it again!

  • May 14, 2002, 10:06 a.m. CST

    Negative BULL

    by roboslut

    I&#39;m sorry this Robo you need to get a life. If you are going to sit and bash every film because you have seen it before, WELL you are going to bash every film there is! Secondly, I agree with someone else who said the actors are supposed to be wooden. God dammit they are living in a society that has gotten complacent, stuffy and bureacractic. They don&#39;t know what they hell they are doing...and thats why they all get toasted by Palpatine. The Jedis downfall is their overconfidence to figure everything out - well they can&#39;t figure this out and they all are going to fry for it. In episodes 4-6, the entire fate of the galaxy depends on a group of "ragtag" (to quote Galactica) fools who have learned from the mistakes of the past. You have got a farmboy, a washed up old failed Jedi, an annoying princess, a dog and two droids. And they take out this big machine that killed everybody in the first 3 movies. Think about that for a second. I haven&#39;t seen Clones, but there were problems with TPM (but to hate such SW movies (which have little ambition) is pretty ridicolous)

  • May 14, 2002, 10:13 a.m. CST

    Responses to Robogeek&#39;s Questions

    by El_Cioran

    R: Why would the Jedi approve assigning the clearly unstable "young Padawan learner" Anakin as sole Jedi protector of Senator Amidala when she&#39;s in clear and present danger? EC: A few things. The council isn&#39;t as worried about Anakin as Obi-Wan is. Many Jedi have become arrogant. They think ultimately that responsibilities and challenges are something that have to be faced and that he will make the right choices. Much is expected of a Jedi--they can&#39;t be babied. Back to the arrogacne, think of Jocasta Nu&#39;s response to Obi-Wan about the archives. Remember the Jedi aren&#39;t just beaten down by the Empire. They start slipping. They set themselves up for a fall. Dooku is on to something when he says they don&#39;t go deep enough or ask enough questions. Grantd, Dooku goes too far in his reaction to the Jedi. So anyway, the Jedi make a number of mistakes. On the one hand, the can&#39;t sense the future as well anymore. The dark side makes the future hard to see. It blurs things. Sidious&#39;s power blinds the council to the future. That&#39;s why Yoda probes the dark side. Only by doing so can he have hope of seeing the future. Now, why does one have to probe the dark side to see the future in such times. Feel free to speculate. Of course, let&#39;s not just talk of forces. The Council knows Anakin may be the Chosen One. He has to be tested by fire--not always held back. If he is going to be the Chosen One (in their eyes), he has to be able to handle assignments such as the Padme assignment. He has to be able to handle his feelings for her as well. Of course, do they think that the Chosen One&#39;s destiny may involve doing great evil before he turns back? Could it be the faults of the Jedi have something to do with why the Chosen One takes the path he does? Could it be the Jedi in their lack of understanding of spirit learn a painful lesson about about how some crimes and mistakes (the Jedi&#39;s) can be undone (by Vader)? Well, speculate if you can. Regardless, the Chosen One (Vader not Luke brings balance) does not take the typical path. R:Why can&#39;t anyone sense the dark side on Palpatine or Sidious? EC: Well, he darkening (imbalancing) of the Force, makes people unable to detect his evil. His manipulation of the Force makes him too powerful to detect. People cannot harmonize with the Force for to sense him because he enslaves the Force to his will. Granted, it has been suggested that Palpatine is just a clone and has no darkness to be detected per se. He&#39;s just a puppet of Sidious. However, this will prove to be false. My earlier explanation is a mighty fine one. R:Why doesn&#39;t Yoda make more people investigate the disappearance of the planet from the archives? EC:Well, Jedi are powerful. Obi-Wan&#39;s involvement is not to be slighted. Obi-Wan is a major investment. Hell, the Jedi can only scrounge up 200 for the Battle of Geonesis. And perhaps some stealth will be required for investigating corruption. Is throwing a bunch of people at it going to be the best approach. How does Yoda know who to trust among the Jedi? If there&#39;s the chance of corruption within, perhaps, he should keep things quiet. R:Why does Anakin look Padme&#39;s age when he was so much younger in Episode I? EC:Well, Anakin wasn&#39;t much younger than Amidala in Episode I. Jake Lloyd was a lot younger than Natalie Portman. Portman played someone much younger than she was in Episode I. I admit that it can look strange. The strangest thing is imagining Jake Lloyd&#39;s character as obsessing. Of course, maybe it wasn&#39;t as dark an obsession back then but just an attachment. But yeah, Episode I could have used more than "Are you an angel?" R: If size matters not, then why does Yoda struggle with the pillar? EC: Not sure. Could be a problem. I&#39;ve only read the book and some drafts of the script. Of course, many criticisms of the plot have been oversights by fans. Hopefully this one is too. However, I&#39;m in no position to really say right now. Sorry. Next. R: By the way, who payed for the clone army. EC: Sifo-Dyas and Sidious sound a lot alike don&#39;t they? Sifo-Dyas was originally to be called &#39;Sido-Dyas.&#39; Anyway, Sifo-Dyas was a Jedi thought to be dead. Make of that what you will. Regardless, who payed for it that long ago? Well, who knows how far back Dooku&#39;s corruption goes. Jango Fett has only dealt with Dooku. Sidious no doubt though is responsible ulimately for the securing of the funds. He&#39;s responsible for just about everything nasty that happens. Enormous plot holes and lapses of logic you say. Well, maybe there are some. You don&#39;t seem to have brought any up, though. However, I&#39;ll have to keep an eye out for the Yoda-pillar-size-matters-not bit. George Lucas can make mistakes. He isn&#39;t a moron though. He deserves at least deserves a chance at a generous interpretation. Odds are, George Lucas knows more about Star Wars than you. We shouldn&#39;t jump to conclusions that he&#39;s being inconsistent without having done enough thought ourselves. Why didn&#39;t the Council or Naboo help in freeing Shmi? Well, first off Shmi isn&#39;t a slave in Episode II. Cliegg Lars secured her freedom between I and II. However, this is a bit odd. It seems like people would have checked and would have learned that. Perhaps there&#39;s some hope for Lucas. Maybe there&#39;s some non-interference ideas going on. Maybe the Council&#39;s just really dense about some things. Maybe the Council feels she&#39;d be a problem for the Chosen One achieving his potential. But none of these explanations seem particularly great. Maybe there&#39;s something to be said for them. However, yes. The whole ten-years-and-he-hasn&#39;t-had contact-with-his-mom thing is weird. Sure it&#39;s outside of the Republic and where Jedi tend to go...but still. R: Why didn&#39;t Anakin go see Shmi earlier rather than in the middle of an assignment and defying the Jedi Council? EC: Well, he was probably always in the middle of an assignment. But never mind that. There&#39;s no need to scoff at that. For someone with the force sensitivity of Anakin, dreams and visions are very important. His dreams are more important than yours. Jedi can actually detect such things. After all, Anakin was right about Shmi. R: Why does she die right when he finds her? EC: Who knows? It&#39;s not clear there isn&#39;t some reason for this though? Was she meant to be found? Probably. Could Anakin have something to do with her holding on? Maybe. He is powerful in ways he probably doesn&#39;t realize. Still, that seems less likely than the earlier explanation. Could Shmi have something to do with her hanging on? Maybe. That would be the simplest. Heroic feat in hopes of seeing her son the last time. However, the first still seems the most likely. R: Why do Tusken Raiders kill Anakin? EC: Well, the book would suggest that TR&#39;s do kill Anakin. And they keep Shmi alive a long time to test the limits of humans. To see what sort of pain they can handle. And the book does suggest that Shmi does hold on in hopes of Anakin finding her. How much is Salvatore and how much is consistent with Lucas&#39;s intent? Who will ever know. Still, this is an important event to Anakin. It&#39;s unlikely Palpatine didn&#39;t have a hand in it. Palpatine didn&#39;t just stumble into Vader. He&#39;s been watching Anakin with great interest. Perhaps for a very long time. High midichlorians and a virgin birth. Who knows what&#39;s going on there. So yes it would be cool if bounty hunters dressed as Tuskens killed Shmi. However, she was in a frickin&#39; Tusken camp. That doesn&#39;t exactly help things for my suspicion. Still, there are certainly ways to deceive it. Disguised bounty hunters (or just one) could have deceived the TR&#39;s and given them reason to hold her prisoner. But who knows? R: Why isn&#39;t Padme more disturbed by Anakin&#39;s killing of the Tuskens? EC: Well, she is disturbed by it. But this is problematic. She doesn&#39;t seem nearly disturbed enough. I mean sure she empathizes. But, hell, she should empathize with more than just Anakin. And if she does some how find a way to reconcile Anakin&#39;s murder--it should atleast be mentioned in II or III. So that&#39;s something I&#39;m disappointed with as I expect it won&#39;t be mentioned in III. Maybe something thematically related will and that will be a plus. I&#39;m still though disappointed with that whole bit. R: The Padme-Anakin relationship is absurd. EC: Don&#39;t know how it&#39;s presented. I think it likely is poorly presented, though--based on what I&#39;ve gathered. After all, everyone seems to wonder why Padme falls in love with Anakin. I think Lucas probably dropped the ball as a storyteller here. Why did she? Well, it has more to do with herself than Anakin. Anakin&#39;s falling in love with Padme has more to do with himself than her. They share that. I think that is what Lucas was going for. She&#39;s considering the reasons she hasn&#39;t taken her personal life more seriously. And her reasons probably aren&#39;t all good. However, she swings to far. Just because she finds problems--and the pressures Anakin puts on her (and part of reason he can exert such pressure involves more than just his agressiveness but also for what he is more generally) speeds her towards confronting these doubts about her views on the importance of one&#39;s personal life. So in choosing Anakin, she really rejects things about herself. Anakin however is the wrong vessel. For this love story to work on screen, more needs to be devoted to Padme. And since much of what she goes through is internal, it&#39;s going to be hard to show without a great deal more backstory than can be afforded in the prequels for her character. A shame. Anakin. Well, Anakin is obsessed with her. She&#39;s an idea. Men (and women) impose images on those they desire all the time and spend their lives trying to make them conform to it. This is one of Anakin&#39;s flaws. How can such flaws relate to one&#39;s falling or in one&#39;s supporting an Emperor? Feel free to speculate.

  • May 14, 2002, 10:19 a.m. CST

    Here&#39;s a thought: The first three Star Wars movies weren&#3

    by FatPaul

    They were cute, but let&#39;s be realistic. There have been better science fiction movies, there have been better adventure movies, and the sword fights actually kind of sucked. I walked into Phantom Menace with no expectations for the continuation of the "Great Star Wars Trilogy," only a preference for movies that don&#39;t suck. I was disappointed, to say the least. Why am I going to skip Attack of the Clones? I don&#39;t make a habit of watching the sequels of bad movies. If it can&#39;t stand on its own as a good movie, then it&#39;s not worth seeing, no matter what line of pre-packaged products it belongs to. At best, the reviewers might have a point about the action sequences, and this movie might possibly be watchable. At worst, I could end up sitting through another Phantom Menace. Either way, it&#39;s not worth $5.50 for the matinee. I won&#39;t be going to see Attack of the Clones for the same reason that I won&#39;t be going to see Enough or The Sum of All Fears. These movies are not works of art. They&#39;re products marketed to gullible consumers who are so drunk on corporate propaganda that they believe everything they see on Entertainment Tonight. The corporate machine is not capable of making great movies. Every once in a while, they&#39;ll manage a pretty good one. Lord of the Rings was the best Peter Jackson movie since Heavenly Creatures, even if it did fall a little short. But the great movies are the ones that sneak in with no giant corporate ad campaign, no product tie-ins. Great movies are the result of a strong artistic vision, not a corporate marketing concept.

  • May 14, 2002, 10:40 a.m. CST

    EI_Cioran

    by Miss Aura

    That is possibly the best post in the whole talkback. Agree with you on a lot of things and its very well written.

  • May 14, 2002, 10:52 a.m. CST

    Robogeek&#39;s judgment is quite sound.

    by yo0o0oy

    The animation industry went through a creatively desolate era in the early 1990s. Instead of fresh ideas, we were served Tiny Toons, Muppet Babies, Scooby Kids, Archie Kids, Little Flintstones, and for all I know, Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Babies. Without realizing it, George Lucas has done the same thing to Star Wars. Robogeek, General Custer, and I are cynical because we&#39;ve been burned. Whether it was the forced "comedy" of the frog-burp scene in Return of the Jedi, the plunging letdown of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, or the millions of our childhood summer dollars wasted on the disturbing sleaze of Howard the Duck, we know what it is to feel used and disenchanted. I haven&#39;t changed. My childhood wonder and attitude is still there, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls, Mr. Mayor, and the supervillian whose name is Mmmmojo Jojo. The Three Friends and Jerry in all their technically crude glory brought it out too. When the human element is there, there is no need to overload the audience with cutting edge effects. Part of the joy of Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back was seeing TOYS come to life. What kid wouldn&#39;t want an 8 foot long, realistically detailed, fiber-optically lit Star Destroyer? Digital effects are dull by comparison (think of Final Fantasy). If you&#39;re skipping Attack of the Clones and still hunger to see real scum of the earth villians, rent "Ulee&#39;s Gold", an understated, restrained film about a beekeeper saving his daughter from truly soulless antagonists.

  • May 14, 2002, 11:13 a.m. CST

    What a miserable cunt....

    by Mr Chuff

    Why did he even bother going to watch it? And half the "plot holes" he points out are answered in Episode III...any dicksplash with half a spoiler knows that and this DICK writes for AICN?!?!? He should know more than anyone else....Like I give a fuck about this whiney pricks review....like ANYONE should give a fuck. go watch it for yourselves and dont even give this douche the satisfaction of a response. I cant beleive I just sat and wasted my time reading his pathetic bitchy comments....

  • May 14, 2002, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Take with grain of salt.

    by Buran

    All you talkers should chill out just a bit, you&#39;re attacking Robogeek for not liking a film you haven&#39;t even seen yet (well, most of you)! Much fear I sense in you. Calm down. Everything will be okay. Have faith that Lucas did not ruin Star Wars. People are so emotionally invested in these movies, it&#39;s like getting back together with your high school sweetie after ten years. Even if it&#39;s great, you are second-guessing in your mind so much that you drive yourself crazy. I remember when I saw the Phantom Menace when it first came out. I loved it. Yes, there were parts that _really_ bothered me (midi-chlorians, the stereotyped villains, some of the Jar-Jar scenes, parts of the Tattoine sequence), but I still loved it. I thought Qui-Gonn and Obi-Wan were great, and Senator Palpatine just oozed menace. The lightsaber sequences with Darth Maul were freaking amazing! I was blown away by the movie, especially the visual aspects. After the initial rush wore off, and the movie was out of the theaters, I began to hate the movie in my mind. The flaws seemed glaring. Jar-Jar became the devil. I even hated Qui-Gonn. The movie was an impostor, impersonating Star Wars but lacking anything remotely consistent with what made the OT great. This was based on my memory of the movie, not my reaction while seeing it (which was joyful). It was not a real representation of how I felt about the film. I didn&#39;t watch TPM for a long time, and I believed that I had made up my mind about it sucking. I watched it again last week. The day after I watched Empire. You know what? I loved it again. Not as much as Empire, but love nonetheless. The flaws were still there, but I didn&#39;t dwell on them. The parts that I loved when I saw it in the theater were still great. I watched the whole thing and not once did I feel like getting up to do something else. I was riveted. So, why did I hate it for so long, if every time I&#39;ve watched it I love it? Because of all the expectations and second-guessing I did. TPM is not perfect. All the accusations heaped up against it are basically true. But, it is still a great movie. It is different from the OT. The "Han Solo" factor will never be recaptured. That&#39;s a shame, but jeezus Ewan makes a great Obi-Wan. I think he is cooler than Luke. Flame me if you will. I, for one, am looking forward to AOTC like a mofo. Go Star Wars!

  • May 14, 2002, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Robo-geeks Relevant Review

    by McBane

    Sorry guys. It sucks. It&#39;s all action and no substance. Saw the film the other day. The last 30 minutes are mind-blowing but other than that, there is little to recommend it. People who said that ILM was dead can start contradicting themselves. The CGI is breath-takingly good as are the last action set pieces. But the acting is horrible. Count Dooku, Yoda, Mace Windu, Palpatine and Obi-Wan are all good. Especially Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan. He is about the only person who seems ro care about continuity. The rest of the film is a shambles. Lucas cannot direct. The Phantom Menace may have been poor, but it least it sows the seeds for the rest of the films. Watching people flame robo-geek has been entertaining. I am interested to see what happens when people see the film and start agreeing with him. Or maybe they will just say they like it to save face. If people liked TPM and hated this, it shows that Star Wars was really only just about cool set pieces and action. Maybe thats the case and I have just outgrown star wars. I remember me a friend and I having a discussion about why Star Wars had lost its way after TPM. We came to two conclusions that ring true now. 1. Now that Luca$ is so revered and thanks to digital film-making and a fat pot of cash, he has complete autonomy over script, direction, characteriation, story telling and special effects. Special effects (more down to ILM than anything else) are the only things that really excell in the movie. 2. The saga now takes itself too seriously. The subtle comedy of the first three films (Droid banter, most of the scenes with Han Solo) are all lost. You thought Jar-Jar was limited in this movie? Yeah, supposedly. But that limited screeen time just reminds u how bad he is. ANd when he is not on screen, he is re-incarnated as See Threepio who is more annoying than he EVER was in the original trilogy. The more I think about it, the sadder I get. I think George is modernising the trilogy too much, just for the sake of it. Thats up to him. I just feel bad because star wars is now officially dead in my book. And for the first time, the idea for another star wars or Indy film, seems lke a bad idea.

  • May 14, 2002, 11:42 a.m. CST

    Attack of the Actor Clones

    by darkkelt

    After having read the novelization I was jazzed to watch this movie. but after seeing a screening I agree completely with robogeek. lucas just cannot direct actors. thank god someone else directed empire and jedi. he&#39;s just hopeless at working with real people. far more is attributed to him for the success of the original films than he deserves. I hope to god someone else directs the next movie, someone who knows how to build up and create moments and sustain a character arc throughout a movie. their are problems with the movie that were almost completely solved in the novel. He used the cast as canvass and layer the effects on top of that. the best directors work around and with actor performances. they don&#39;t get actors to do act flat just to make editing easier. I propose for the next one that lucas lay out the idea and get a decent writer to pen the script and a good director to work with the cast. he can thinker around in the background with all the effects he wants. but these should be worked around the performances and story not the other way around. Darkkelt

  • May 14, 2002, 11:44 a.m. CST

    On the dangers of nostalgia...

    by Almost Sexy

    El_Cioran: I have to agree with Aurra. That was a great post; both well-reasoned and comprehensive. For anyone who&#39;s interested, the best negative review of a Star Wars film I&#39;ve ever read is up at Rottentomatoes. It&#39;s by Mark Caro from the Chicago Tribune. Normally, I stay well clear of becoming entangled in talkbacks like these, because they&#39;re too much like arguing with a roomful of people of variegated spiritual belief systems, and trying to get them all to agree on which one is the best. But I thought I&#39;d step out of character to make an observation about a troubling trend I&#39;m noticing. One of the recurring arguments that keeps popping up in defense of the prequel films is the contention that, by and large, the original trilogy was actually pretty poor in terms of plotting, dialogue, acting, effects, and what-have-you. Aside from the obvious rejoinder that one bad movie does not excuse another, I&#39;d have to disagree. Yes, they&#39;re not the best movies ever made, but I happen to think there are some great performances in every film. Ian Mcdiarmid is riveting in Jedi. When I saw it when I was eight, I couldn&#39;t take my eyes off of him. Wow. Screen presence from heck. And James Earl Jones. He was the Darth Vader I was afraid of. Not the guy I saw a few years later selling furniture. Alec Guinness (sic?)?. Awesome. Frank Oz? Equally SWEET!! But then, (pauses before admitting self-consciously) I thought Fisher, Ford and Hamill were great as well. It really bothers me to think that so many "die-hard" fans jump to the defense of the new movies by attacking the old ones. I&#39;m not trying to make the movies sound like they&#39;re perfect, but the characters are distinct, and the actors brought a lot of conviction and passion to their parts. I remember seeing a special years ago where Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford were complaining about the awkward dialogue. Ford in particular had difficulty with a line about (paraphrasing here) how the navi-computer will take "a few minutes to calculate the co-ordinates to make the jump to light-speed." Well you know what, I think that scene&#39;s great. You&#39;ve got the iconic man of action piloting the ship, and the petulant out-of-his-depth-kid trying to tell the pilot what to do. And when they say those lines, I really believe that Luke wants to know what that flashing red light is, and why the Star Destroyers are still gaining on them. I&#39;ll make myself look foolish here and go out on the proverbial limb and say that I think the original films had good acting and dialogue and that the stories in Empire and New Hope are so fast-paced and tightly-plotted that if there are any plot-holes, the movie shoots by so fast, and is so convincing along every step of the way, that you scarcely notice them. I don&#39;t really care if you like the new movies or not; it&#39;s none of my business, although I personally hope Attack of the Clones is great and that everyone has fun seeing it. It just bothers me to see so many people casually going (paraphrasing loosely here) "Well yeah, but the OT (original series, natch) was full of bad dialogue and bad acting, so what are you complaining about?" For me, the original films were great because of the story and the characters. Those characters are iconic and timeless (well to me anyway, although I really am quite a geek) even if the special effects aren&#39;t. I think the most distressing post I&#39;ve ever read here (excluding death notices) was JediSean saying that the non- Special-Editions of the movies have become hard for him to watch, presumably because the special effects are so dated. Wow. That&#39;s hard for me to understand (By the way JediSean, I&#39;m not trying to dis you or "front", we just have a different perspective on film). Me, I&#39;ll take the clunky matte lines around the tie fighters and underwhelmingly unsexy 70&#39;s original Death Star explosion over the SE (special edition for those at home) anyday. It&#39;s dauntingly surreal for me to think that I&#39;m posting to a webpage for people who, arguably, love Star Wars movies, with the attempt to put forth an argument as to why the films in question are actually GOOD. Comments?

  • May 14, 2002, 11:58 a.m. CST

    The Techno Union Army

    by Merkin Muffley

    Is at your disposal. &#39;Nuff said.

  • May 14, 2002, 12:05 p.m. CST

    Harry is the worst kind of kiss ass cheerleader...

    by gmack

    and you can read that in the disclaimer before Robowhater&#39;s review. This guy has credibility as an information gatherer, but to give him credit for anything above that is ridiculous. Boycott Star Wars. Lucas doesn&#39;t deserve your dollars just cause he made good movies twenty years ago, and just cause people like Harry need to feel like they did when they lived with mommy and daddy.

  • May 14, 2002, 12:22 p.m. CST

    THE THEMES OF STAR WARS

    by EIFF

    I reckon that big ol&#39; bearded George is quite on line to create the best story ever told over 6 films. Ya know how he keeps saying "when its complete, it will, themematically, make sense." He&#39;s right ya know. Here&#39;s my opinion. The tone in ANH and EMPIRE is darker and sinister because the Empire is in its prime and booming. The cute factor in JEDI is due to the fact that the empire is about to meet its end and the whole galaxy should be happy. Thus why TPM has an over cuteness, fuzzy slapstick edge. It&#39;s because there is no empire and it keeps in lines with JEDI. Now, AOTC is darker because the empire is emerging, even if it is still called the republic and Episode III will be the darkest because the empire bursts onto the scene. A cool piece of info to note. Episode III might have the longest list of fatalities in main characters than the whole of the other 5 films put together.

  • May 14, 2002, 12:24 p.m. CST

    Almost Sexy

    by Voice O. Reason

    Indeed, you are 100% correct. The Official Star Wars script book backs you up.

  • May 14, 2002, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Fat Paul: SACRILEDGE!

    by Voice O. Reason

    But seriously...you make an interesting point (not that you really MADE a point, you just kind of stated your opinion and moved on), but I gotta disagree. STAR WARS was a fun, fun movie, although it pretty much just works on that level. RETURN OF THE JEDI was enjoyable, and makes more sense after you&#39;ve seen PHANTOM MENACE, but could&#39;ve been better. THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK is a gorgeous, wonderful, great film on every level. It really was one of the best films I&#39;ve ever watched. When I hear people talk about what&#39;s great about STAR WARS, they&#39;re usually talking about Yoda or Vader being Luke&#39;s father. That wasn&#39;t STAR WARS, that was EMPIRE. Maybe you should think about the films the way I do. AOTC isn&#39;t a sequel to TPM, but the third prequel to EMPIRE.

  • May 14, 2002, 12:45 p.m. CST

    For the record...

    by dmezei

    I think GL is a genius at whatever he does, but right now he&#39;s interested in pushing the limits of film technology, not making actual films. Hence, the boring crap we&#39;re getting. He really should use his genius to delegate...

  • May 14, 2002, 12:51 p.m. CST

    What a bad critic

    by CountFag

    Ok, so maybe Attack of the Clones will suck. Maybe this robo guy is right on that account. But he could have at least gotten the characters right. His critique was a chore to read through and it sounds as if he&#39;s a bit bitter to boot. Vader did not get his hand chopped off in part v, and c-3po and r2-d2 are one of many of those type of droids, so why should they freak out when luke buys them from the jawas. And yes we&#39;ve seen star battles before and all that kind of jazz, so G. Lucas isn&#39;t breaking any new ground. But he really wasn&#39;t breaking any new ground with Episode IV. It&#39;s (the story) not a completely new concept, he was revolutionary in marketing it though, that&#39;s for sure. Anyway, it seems as if people are taking this way too seriously. It&#39;s about fun, and being taken away to someplace other than your life. So, I&#39;m going to go see it with an open mind and if I hate it...oh well. I didn&#39;t really like part 1, but it was fun to watch. Also, count dooku is a total nod to christopher lee&#39;s famous roles as dracula...even g lucas admits it. He was having fun.

  • May 14, 2002, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Thanks for the confirmation Mr. Reason

    by Almost Sexy

    I&#39;m not sure what&#39;s creepier: the fact that I can quote verbatim from a movie I haven&#39;t seen in three to five years, or the fact that you had the script to a twenty-five year old movie apparently within easy reach of your computer. But much appreciated, anyway. By the way, does the "O" in voice of reason stand for the same thing as the "O" in "David O. Selznick?" Oh and one last thing; the comma following the word &#39;"front"&#39; in my previous post should have been inside the quote marks. Thanks

  • May 14, 2002, 1:16 p.m. CST

    Harry...

    by Caulfield

    What the hell was that opening thing you wrote Harry?!?! You had to write a disclaimer warning us about how this guy was wrong, just because he didn&#39;t like the movie?!?! You fucking tool... Anyway, from what I hear, the script is poor. My guess is that Ebert&#39;s review is dead on. Not to be pessimistic or anything, I hope the movie is great, but from what I hear, the script and dialogue suck, and no amount of lightsabers can make up for that. Example of dialogue from Ebert&#39;s review (Anakin to Padme): "I don&#39;t like the sand. It&#39;s coarse and rough and irritating--not like you. You&#39;re soft and smooth." C&#39;mon people. A third grader could write better than that.

  • May 14, 2002, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Voice O. Reason: Well...

    by FatPaul

    The basic point I was going for was that even if the new movies aren&#39;t judged under the "great shadow of the Original Trilogy," they come up short as movies. I&#39;ll conceed this much: Empire Strikes Back was a fairly good movie, and you could even say that it was the best movie it could have been under the circumstances, but it doesn&#39;t stand against the real classics of cinema. If you compare Lucas&#39; work with the films he imitated to make them, they don&#39;t even fit into the same category. They&#39;re cute movies, but they aren&#39;t great movies. My other point was, of course, that we should stop and think about the evil corporations that are forcing this new movie down our throats. How much control do they really have over us, that more than half of the people that expect Attack of the Clones to suck are still going to pay to see it?

  • May 14, 2002, 1:28 p.m. CST

    let go of your anger

    by flaminghamster

    what a sad and petty review,you need to get laid.

  • May 14, 2002, 2:01 p.m. CST

    Not here to trash Robo, not here to praise Lucas...

    by FullTiltBoogie

  • I have no problem with his opinion. But as a journalist or a critic in this case, if he can call himself that...don&#39;t you think he could get the fucking facts straight from the sequels? Did this not bother anyone else? I mean, maybe he&#39;s right, and it does suck but come on how can you trust someone who doesn&#39;t get the facts straight.

  • May 14, 2002, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Not here to trash Robo, not here to praise Lucas...

    by FullTiltBoogie

    ...All I&#39;m saying is that maybe the first three movies weren&#39;t that great in the first place but we hold them in higher regard because we were so young and we had yet to really develop the ability to think analytically. These movies have meant a lot to us over the years so it&#39;ll be hard to go into the theaters this weekend with a clean slate (emotionally that is) but quite frankly that&#39;s what we need to. Don&#39;t have high expectations for this movie, don&#39;t have low expectations. Have NO expectations. RoboGeek didn&#39;t like the movie, that&#39;s his right. I will say this though, at least Robo&#39;s review was emotional. That&#39;s what&#39;s encouraging and what&#39;s awesome about film in general (reading this talkback is more proof) these movies -- all movies -- strike some kind of emotional chord with us. Some good and some bad. I have not seen the movie but I know what I like and I have a feeling I will like this one but if I don&#39;t oh well I&#39;ll just go see Spider-Man again. On to something that was mentioned in another post about the stiff-acting. It&#39;s possible (not making excuses just hypothesizing) that the the time-period of Episodes I-III is in fact a time when people were more conservative (just as we were for a larger portion of our own history) and the time of Eps. IV-VI are much more relaxed mind frame because they&#39;re in the middle of a revolution. (Remember in Braveheart how prim and proper the Brits were and how loose knit and loose lipped Mel Gibson&#39;s revolutionaries were.) Anyway, it&#39;s just really fun seeing all this debate.

  • May 14, 2002, 2:55 p.m. CST

    Ebert did NOT change his review after a digital screening!

    by minderbinder

    He said the picture was better, that&#39;s it. That doesn&#39;t change his complaints about the plot, characters, dialogue, etc. In fact, he compares the movie to a cartoon with a few humans thrown in and complains that traditional FX look better than CGI for some things. "Brighter and clearer" doesn&#39;t mean that he suddenly loves the movie.

  • May 14, 2002, 10:40 p.m. CST

    Surreal

    by Xoxarle

    SW fandom has morphed into the latter day Church of Elvis. To take this pseudo-mythic derivative sci-fi moonshine seriously to the point of deconstruction and conjecture (qf: El Cioran) is just too funny for words. The misplaced devotion to Luca$ and his recent 2 hour CGI crapfests is now on a truly mind-boggling scale. The faster this franchise plummets into mediocrity, the more tightly these lunatics pull their Obi-Wan security blankets around them, tune out the dissenting voices and chant their Only For The Fans mantra. What a fascinating case study they are. How fiendishly clever the alternative realities they construct to explain away the prequel trilogy&#39;s manifest and obvious flaws. Fast forward to Ep III&#39;s now inevitable hostile critical reception several years from now, and it&#39;s no reach to predict SW fans all eventually retreating to a compound in rural Texas, where they can worship their celluloid idols free of Real World distractions, and quote the abominable dialog to each other to their hearts content.

  • May 14, 2002, 10:42 p.m. CST

    What would meet expectations?

    by RandRT

    I didn&#39;t read all of this guy&#39;s review because I don&#39;t want to read spoilers, but I have to ask: What the hell would he, or those like him, find acceptable? How can people like that stand up there and honestly call Lucas a sellout or a hack just because they don&#39;t like the storyline? I&#39;ve got a message for you all, grow up! Lucas is not trying to make a movie just for undersexed fanboys who seem to think that he owes them a personal debt. Nothing can really recapture what the original trilogy meant to us. We were younger and more impressionable. Now that we are older, the same type of entertainent isn&#39;t going to do it for us anymore. And Lucas said that he is making this trilogy for the same aged audience as the first one. Do the math. I can happily say that I enjoyed TPM because I didn&#39;t have expectations that were impossible to meet. I let the movie just play out as it was and I enjoyed it. On a side note: All the pro reviews I&#39;ve read about the movie that were negative seem to be antitechnology. It&#39;s almost as if they bash the movie to resist the technology advances that the movie represents. Weird.

  • May 14, 2002, 11:34 p.m. CST

    Yoda raped my next door neighbor!... and then she raped him bac

    by Pizza The Hut

    Just thought I&#39;d lighten things up a little :-)

  • May 14, 2002, 11:56 p.m. CST

    Fat Paul: Name NAMES!

    by Voice O. Reason

    Fat Paul needs to name some names of these "the real classics of cinema". The movies I consider to be better than EMPIRE is a VERY short list. Sure, you got your Godfathers, and your Gone With the Winds, your Casablancas, but EMPIRE&#39;s definitely in the four-star class. Science fiction? Well, I don&#39;t actually think STAR WARS is science fiction, but fantasy set in outer space. Like I said, your argument lacks any real credibility until you start naming names.

  • May 15, 2002, midnight CST

    Almost Sexy: The Official Star Wars Script Book

    by Voice O. Reason

    I just happen to reread a lot of it recently. The edition I have was published in 1997. Its quite informative, and clears up a lot of misconceptions fans have about the mythology of how George Lucas created Star Wars. I also had to read through quite a bit of it when we were having that Super-Special-Edition debate a couple of weeks ago.

  • May 15, 2002, 12:06 a.m. CST

    Fat Paul, a revision...

    by Voice O. Reason

    ...I&#39;m only talking about American movies.

  • May 15, 2002, 12:20 a.m. CST

    AntoniusBloc: The MTV Award

    by Voice O. Reason

    What Lucas ACTUALLY said was that "next year" (somehow forgetting AOTC wouldn&#39;t be out until 2002) Samual L. Jackson might be involved with getting a best action sequence award. The movie was already written and principal photography was almost done on AOTC when Lucas made the comment (June 2000). Or maybe Lucas thought "Shaft" would be more popular than it actually was...?

  • May 15, 2002, 3:38 a.m. CST

    terrible

    by darkstyle8

    Episode 2 was the worst movie ive seen so far, corny as hell. Yoda is great, but doesnt make any sense. im going to see spidey again on thursday

  • May 15, 2002, 3:40 a.m. CST

    GREAT REVIEW ROBO

    by darkstyle8

  • May 15, 2002, 4:03 a.m. CST

    I think I may have stumbled onto something...

    by AlphaOmega Man

    All this talk of AOTC prompted me to dig out my Indiana Jones video trilogy boxset (Raiders, Doom and Crusade) and so feeling nostalgic I decided to play Raiders (easily the best of the bunch). On the boxset versions of each film, you get a preview of all the features produced for the Young Indiana Jones series (Train Of Doom, Tales of Innocence, Treasure of the Peacocks Eye etc etc etc) and whilst watching this preview I came across something quite revealing... I think George Lucas is using the feature titles of the some of the Young Indiana Jones series for the titles of the new Star Wars films... definately EPI and EPII and possibly EPIII... Check it out, in the Young Indiana Jones series, chapter 10 is called "The Phantom Train of Doom"... "The Phantom Menace" right? And chapter 12 of the series is called "Attack of the Hawkmen"... "Attack of the Clones" right?... Now I&#39;m thinking if George follows suit, out of the remaining titles left in the Young Indiana Jones series he could use (and from what we know has to happen in the the third Star Wars Episode) Chapter 12 which is entitled "Masks of Evil" kinda fits the bill for EP III don&#39;t you think? He could alter the title to "Masks of the Sith" as some masks are eventually worn (Anakin/Vader) and some masks are revealed (Palpatine/the Emperor and other co-conspirators)... waddaya think? BTW, I haven&#39;t seen AOTC yet and Spiderman isn&#39;t released here in the UK till June, but I am flyin&#39; to Orlando on the 26th of this month (then drivin to Miami a few days later), so if anyone can reccommend a kickass theatre/cinema (in either city) to see them in I&#39;d appreciate it.

  • May 15, 2002, 5:13 a.m. CST

    this is the last review I will read till this weekend

    by jfilyaw

    Why? I am seeing AOTC saturday and I just dont want to read these reviews by people who are bashing the film simply because "bashing star wars is cool" or because their childhood was stolen or how the magic is lost. All I know is that lucas has created an awsome world and I want more of it. I am not expecting him to capture the magic again. I thought it was strange how someone said something negative up there about lucas and the new trilogy, then says he cant wait till thursday. Um why should he be looking forward to bad sci-fi as he called it? all I know is that I will be enjoying the moment when I see AOTC. I know it wont beat Empire strikes back but I liked phantom menace and its supposedly better than phantom menace so I know I wont hate it. And unlike many, I acctualy like some of the dialogue already.(mostly ob-wan) I agree that this guy didnt have his facts straight about the original trilogy. And I dont see how Anikan getting his arm cut off ruins everything like he says. people need to realise the film is meant to entertaine you, not forfill some childhood dream or win oscars!

  • the only thing that spoilt the film for me was the fact that I already knew everyfuckinthing from reading it on sites such as this (my own fault entirely I admit) so I will be staying Spoiler free for Episode 3.... by the way...was my last post on here deleted because I used the word CUNT?

  • May 15, 2002, 5:48 a.m. CST

    This summer blockbusters so far...

    by AnDaLiu

    I have had the enjoyment of living in China for the last 8 months. So I have managed to avoid any media hype about any western movies since I left. Also I have the local DVD market that pumps out the current western movies on a regular basis. When I went in a few weeks ago they had a copy of Spiderman which I quickly snatched up. I was disgusted by spider man. I felt that some of the CG was actualy a little shabby and there was a distinct lack of storyline in the movie... What exactly was the Green Goblin after? Just random distruction.. And much of the dialog in the movie was cheezy and pointless. Last night I saw my first trailer on tv for it so today I wandered into the market agin in hopes that I may see AOTC. Sure eneough it was there. So I brought it home and popped it in the DVD player. As a atory we all have to admit that Lucas has given up on makeing any complete story as we alredy know that more is on the way for him to tie it all up... I knew that for TPM and I knew that this time. He knows he has no responsibility for tying up any loose ends so why the hell would he. Loose ends mean that you are more likely to want to see the next one. So with that aside I watched it. I felt the CG was beautifil eventhough the copy that I got was not the greatest quality. The disjointed story was what I was expecting. starting as we would expect with Anikin grown up and then the movie ending without really finishing anything. But all in all it was worth my 10RMB (bout 1.5 US bucks). And I&#39;m praying that it is still in theaters when I get home... And for thoes that are saying that people still have not seen it... As a typical geek I know that AOTC has been on the net for couple of days now and there is a good chance that many of the people out there in netland have had a peek at it.

  • May 15, 2002, 5:55 a.m. CST

    Addition

    by AnDaLiu

    Oh yea I forgot to mention... Even the people here thought Attack of the Clones was a stupid title.. My copy has proudly displayed on the front. "Star Wars 2 - Battle of Hoth" and sports the write up for monkey bone on the back.

  • May 15, 2002, 6:28 a.m. CST

    some people are just hopeless!

    by jfilyaw

    You know its funny how people come on here saying how stupid star wars fans are well here some dumb sh** that non star wars fans are saying in here...I have never seen so many ignorant non thinkers. "...but judging by the way many of you are attacking Robogeek for his discerning opinion, it won&#39;t matter to most of you how flawed the storyline is as long as the lightsabres look pretty; you&#39;ll eat your pablum and like it no matter what." true but if you look at the original trilogy honestly, you will see how the story is flawwed at times and the acting is bad but we enjoy the films for what they are not what they arent. Some people are just too anal to see how star wars films are fun films that arent meant to broaden your minds or win oscars. you are missing what these movies are about. you have become old and closed minded. "I&#39;ve seen AOTC and all I can say is bland, lifeless and boring. Forget the plot holes --- the dialogue is the worst I have EVER heard. It was SO bad I was re-writing it in my head as I viewed and improving each and every line." What!! Are you retarded or just stupid? who acctualy does that? no wonder you didnt like it! you were to busy thinking up ways to rewrite the script! now thats intelligence! "Can there be any doubt that the maverick, pot-smoking, rebellion-advocating LUCA has become MR MOM - basicly your PC pussy who is afraid of his own SHADOW. WHERE IS THE CONFLCIT BETWEEN THE ACTORS? WHY IS EVERYONE LIKE A FUCKING DROID? HOW CAN ANYONE SAY THIS SHIT WAS ANY GOOD? JESUS GEORGE, JESUS...take a fucking hint and hire some real writers for Episode 3. Actually what is the point? I mean after the first two episodes, you can&#39;t really make it a trilogy with a good last film, can you? JUST DO US ALL A FAVOR AND DIE THEN" You are a sad person wishing someone to die. You need some therapy.

  • May 15, 2002, 9:11 a.m. CST

    Corporate evil? What?

    by JohnnyTremaine

    Nearly half these talkbacks rail against the so-called evil corporate conspirracy. I thought we were discussing a movie here. What, is everyone here a socialist? If you don&#39;t like capitalism move to Cuba.

  • May 16, 2002, 12:12 a.m. CST

    Just seen it......

    by laguna_loire

    Here in the UK I caught it at 00:15am at the Reading Warner. Of the 4 of us that went the one Star Wars hater loved it, and as for the rest of us - IT FUCKING ROCKED!! I can&#39;t sleep now!! I wanna see it again so bloody bad!!

  • May 16, 2002, 4:20 a.m. CST

    I&#39;ve now seen AOTC...

    by Voice O. Reason

    ...and I CAN comment on Robogook&#39;s review. It sounds to me he wrote a review about the Dark Horse comic adaptaion, because his description of the movie bore no resemblance to the real deal. Lucas finally made a STAR WARS movie for grown-ups, and I liked it.

  • May 16, 2002, 4:27 a.m. CST

    clones

    by xredhand69

  • May 16, 2002, 5:12 a.m. CST

    clones

    by xredhand69

    well...i don&#39;t know where to begin...i just saw the movie and after two months of a self imposed total aotc blackout (no trailers, interviews or any "surprise -why did it happen to me ?- reviews" all i can say that i am totally satisfied with the film. if you don&#39;t like this movie you never loved star wars in the first place...i came home tonight ready to read all the reviews on this site that i have avoided...hoping to get and share some of the good feelings that i&#39;m feeling right now...instead i read this total fucking nothing of a article. dude...it&#39;s a movie. i used to feel really bad for people like you that can&#39;t go into a movie theatre and let themselves go and just WATCH THE MOVIE. i don&#39;t any more...you&#39;re an adult, there is no excuse for this sort of totally fucking old lady nonsense. try to remember what it was like to go into the movie as a FAN and not as a uber geek vigilante. We all know that your a big boy now and that you can take any movie apart that you want to...please just spare the rest of us. bore the people who can actually hear your voice or see your face. don&#39;t waste our time with your overcritical nothing opionion. p.s. i do still feel bad for you

  • May 16, 2002, 6:31 a.m. CST

    saw it, and it sucked

    by dorfvader

    before i saw aotc i hated ebert with a passion (still not a big fan, he hated usual suspects). after seeing the movie i must agree. the movie sucks. robogeek&#39;s review was dead on! i didn&#39;t even hate TPM, but this was bad. the first hour and a hlf, nothing happens. the little bit that did happen was not that amuzing. 3PO was never THIS annoying!it reminded me of the simposon"come see the the cool robots from lost in space beat up the gay robots from starwars" yoda kicked ass but it all felt forced(no pun intended) even the storm troopers were cgi, it never felt like a starwars movie. mommy skywalker being held by the raiders for 30 days just to die the second anakin comes to save her?! i couldn&#39;t stop laughing as she flopped over. most of the things robogeek said, i said as soon as i left the theater. i saw the 12:01 showing, got goose bumps as the opening crawl came up, then was bored outta my witts for the frst hour at least. obi wan walking nto a 50&#39;s style diner like dick tracey with a light saber was so painful i kept looking at my watch.i ralized a MAJOR problem with theis new trilogy is that alot of the characters are just throw away. chewbacca would nevr have become CHEWBACCA if he was only in ANH and never seen again. this new trilogy doesn&#39;t have anything like tha.all these new creatures are just there to look at and be forgoten.same was with darth maul darth maul.even little things like making the guy traveling with amdala the same guy from the first one would help a little as far as caring for one second about these characters. every oneknows the han solo factor has been sorly missed, but so has he non-annoying alien actor. am i the only one who misses a yoda that looked like a puppet rather then somethng that never existed?it&#39;s now almost sun rise and can&#39;t get over my disappointment.not only did it not feel like star wars, it wasn&#39;t even entertaining through 2/3 of the film. at on epoint it looked more like the sound of music then a space fantasy. problem is it was one f the few time in the movie where moe then just the actors were alive, i think they used real grass. i didn&#39;t dislike hayden as much as most, i realized if u gve deniro the "i don&#39;t like sand..." speech it would still sound like shit. i know i&#39;m rambling but i&#39;m just so let down. now i know how alot of people felt after TPM. at least that could be discarded as a kiddie movie, what is the excuse for this?

  • May 16, 2002, 6:39 a.m. CST

    forgot 1 thing

    by dorfvader

    harry, if you are going to pst some one&#39;s review then post it and let it be, don&#39;t give a disclaimer before hand.let the guy speak his mind. i&#39;m no one of the talk backer whoswears you sold out or only give good reviews to friends of yours or that some studio is paying you off, but i do thik you dropped the ball on this one. not you&#39;re review,yu loved it, i didn&#39;t, i&#39;m jealous. i think you dropped the all by toppin just short of censoring a reviewer. if you feel the work is quality enough to post then post it, personal feelings aside. i lost a little respect for you and every thing you&#39;ve built with that little stunt. just my $.02

  • May 20, 2002, 12:58 a.m. CST

    I just wanna say that Robogeek is the biggest jerk in the AICN s

    by Tall_Boy

    seriously, everything that comes out of this dude&#39;s mouth has a "holier than thou" attitude. Dude, stop picking every single frickin&#39; thing to death when you see it. Screw line-up fanboys, what I hate are the cynical geek population.

  • June 19, 2002, 7:40 a.m. CST

    Respond to questions..

    by AurelianoBuendia

    Hello.. I&#39;d like to say that I actually liked your review, and I agree with most of what you say. But, I have to find a way to fill in the plot holes until EP III comes out, (GL has A LOT of explaining to do). These are the answers I had come up with after watching the film: Why would the Jedi approve assigning the clearly unstable "young Padawan learner" Anakin as sole Jedi protector of Senator Amidala when she&#39;s in clear and present danger? They had to get her out of Coruscant, and it had to be reaaally low key. Once they got to Naboo it was assumed that security would be taken care of, since Padme knows the place so well (she says it herself). Anakin&#39;s job was meant to be simple, quick and unexciting. And hell, there&#39;s only like 50 jedi left, so you have to use them sparingly. Why can&#39;t any of the Jedi sense the Dark Side in Palpatine/Sidious? Especially after Dooku spells it out for them - via Obi-Wan? Well, this one is sort of explained, the Dark side is clouding everything. The Jedi&#39;s ability to use the Force has weakened. To the point that a simple midichlorian-less being like Jango Fett (this is an assumption) or robots could KILL a jedi with a frickin&#39; blaster. Oh, and Palpatine couldn&#39;t be sensed either in EP 1. --On midichlorians-- Isn&#39;t kind of redundant to say "May the force be with you"? You have your midi#%@$ count, it is either with or without you, and there are set limitations on how powerful a jedi you will be. There have also been allusions to the fact that if you have too good of reflexes you have JEDI reflexes (you probably have midichlorians in you), this has weird implications for the Fetts, the clones, Han Solo, etc, etc..-- Why isn&#39;t Yoda - and the entire Jedi Council - more alarmed when Obi-Wan discovers that the Jedi Archives have been tampered with, and internal security has been breached? Why doesn&#39;t Yoda - upon learning that an entire solar system&#39;s existence has been erased from the Jedi Archives - assign more than just a single Jedi to investigate something of that magnitude? Weeell... you can&#39;t spare Jedi&#39;s there&#39;s only a few of them. They&#39;re all probably doing Jedi work or whatever they do (keeping the peace). And OB1 being one of the best there is (continually alluded to also) he should be able to handle. And the council is worried like crap, OB1 has to keep sending them messages all the time. They&#39;re basically on their toes and ready to jump (as they did) when a crisis is reported. If ten years have passed since EPISODE I, how and why is it that Anakin now appears older - or at least the same age - as Padme? C&#39;mon, this one is kind of stoopid. "Appears older" is the key. Is it completely out of the question that she could be 5 years older than him? NO, then it&#39;s plausible. If size matters not, why does Yoda struggle with that pillar? Well, he DOES say it, but he contradicted himself in ESB so why not here? He clearly struggled with the X-Wing, just like Luke did. Bigger things are harder to lift! And hell, Yoda can gloat can&#39;t he? He&#39;s got more midichlorians than anybody! And by the way, who paid for the Clone Army? Hello? Uh, no answer here. You&#39;re right. It was probably credit, or some massive cover up by the chancellor (it&#39;s not out of the question). And while your at it, where did the star destroyers come from? What about the AT-AT&#39;s? uh hell... Don&#39;t you think Queen Amidala and the people of Naboo - out of compassion and gratitude - would have offered to buy Anakin&#39;s mother&#39;s freedom? The only explanation I have for this one is that the Jedi demand that you let go of all your attachments. As a Jedi you are usually taken from your home at a very early age, remembering your parents is not something you do. I guess they tried to make it the same way with "Ani". You do make sense on this one, my own reasoning is kind of weak. And I truly think GL fucked up this time. About Padme not caring that Anakin slaughtered women and children: I completely agree with you, this bothered me A LOT. I can&#39;t imagine ANYONE reacting the way Padme did, GL fucked this one up too. Feels weird as hell. Why doesn&#39;t R2-D2 ever fly in EPISODEs IV-VI? Um, he didn&#39;t need to? Except for the beggining of IV. Who knows, he could have been damaged. It&#39;s not out of the question. Why doesn&#39;t Boba Fett ever use his other weapons? And how could he possibly be killed so easily in EPISODE VI? Well, why would he have other weapons? All of Jango Fett&#39;s weapons were damaged by the end of EP 2. And even if he did have them, when would he have used them? He&#39;s not gonna blow anything up with his rocket, he could have blown up Jabba&#39;s Barge of something. About him getting killed. Everyone complains about that one. About the lack of poetic resonance: You&#39;re right. GL is trying to force it with certain gags that don&#39;t seem to have a set purpose besides it coinciding with the original trilogy. And truthfully, GL isn&#39;t the same as he used to be in 1977. Star Wars had blood, burning skeletons and mercenaries who shot first. The new trilogy lacks that edge that the IV and V had.

  • March 1, 2009, 4:49 p.m. CST

    Heh. Robogeek was right

    by Chief Joseph

    And everyone else here were the "tools".