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Massawyrm looks at SUM OF ALL FEARS, DEUCES WILD and JASON X!!!

Published at:  Apr 29, 2002 12:10:08 AM CDT

Hey folks, Harry here with that wacked out psycho known as Massawyrm with a trio of film reviews to make you scream at him about. Take it easy on the ol boy, he's getting married at the end of this week, and ya know... Everybody should have the best week of their lives leading into marriage, and even Massawyrm deserves that! He's been trying to cut down on the nicotine intake recently, and you should have seen the waterfall of drool flowing off his goatee when he saw the Cigarette Dispenser in SUM OF ALL FEARS. I swear, it was as if they were showing buttered muffins on screen.




Hola all. Everyone's favorite Chain-smoking, Dr. Pepper swilling, indie schilling, soon to be hitched madman here with a look at several of the films coming your way in the coming weeks. This week I had the pleasure, and I do stress PLEASURE, of seeing three films, all of which carry the stigma of looking like they really, really could suck, but don't. Or at least, if and when they do, they suck in the best way possible. These three films are "The Sum of All Fears", "Deuces Wild" and "Jason X". Ah yes, Genre, sweet Genre.
 

So lets kick this off with the best of the bunch, shall we? The Sum of All Fears. Now this film has had alot of synchronicity going it's way in my mind. Just weeks ago I popped in Sneakers at my video store in the midst of a Robert Redford marathon I was holding in honor of his Lifetime Achievement Oscar. The directors name popped up. Phil Alden Robinson. "Hey" I thought to myself. "This movie rocks. It was perfectly directed, a wonderfully paced spy film with a perfect mix of suspense and comedy. Whatever happened to this guy?" So, being at work and having no access to IMDB, I pulled out my trusty 2 year old video guide and went to work. Nothing. He did nothing. Vanished like a fart in the wind. "Must have died," I thought.
 

Then Changing Lanes came along with a trailer for "The Sum of All Fears" and a buddy of mine Chris leaned over chuckling "The Sum of all fears IS Ben Affleck as Jack Ryan." I admit. I chuckled. I did. I chuckled in the same way I did when someone had mentioned Cuba Gooding Jr. as the next James Bond. There's just something that doesn't SOUND right about it. The trailer, well, the trailer sold it as pretty par-for-the-course-fourth-in-a-series profit vehicle loaded up with names that assured me that middle America would have their asses firmly planted in seats. However, it spoke nothing of quality.
 

Then I saw the poster. With the tagline. 27,000 nuclear weapons. One is missing." Okay, to the marketing Einstein that came up with this gem of a phrase: Whoever told you less was more did you a great disservice my friend. Throw in a few words. Make it roll of the tongue. This phrase, this one phrase above all made me fear watching this movie. That, and well, Affleck standing where Ford and the good Baldwin once stood? Come on.
 

So when Harry and I hooked up at the screening and he looked over at me with that excited, cherubic grin he gets when the shits really about to go down in our favor and said "Get ready to have your mind blown," I just kinda shrugged. No way. Harry's yankin' my crank again.
 

You know, there are moments where I actually love it when Harry's right. This was one of them. Holy God, does this movie kick ass! What the hell happened over at Paramount that allowed a film this good to get made?!? I still have nightmares that involve the Paramount logo from the truckload of shite they've dumped on me this year. Orange County. Crossroads. Clockstoppers. -twitch twitch- There, they've started again. The goddamned ticks those films gave me. But this. This is a top quality, balls out risk of a film, that really could have played by the rules, played it safe and played just fine. But no. Instead it had to rule. It had to take big risks and throw caution to the wind. And boy howdy does every single risk pay off big.
 

First of all, this movie says fuck all to the continuity of the series. This isn't the same series, it's a parallel universe. An alternate reality where instead of Ryan's first meeting with top brass being about a book he wrote on a Russian sub captain, it's about a college paper he wrote on the man who is the new Russian president. It is a reality where Ryan is not yet married and has just met the love of his life. It is a reality where he has yet to climb the ranks and become an operative. To that reality, I raise my glass. I love this reality. Ben Affleck has finally found himself a role where he really seems comfortable. For the first time in his life he is not Ben Affleck (fill in the blank). He is Jack Ryan. Jack Ryan is Ben Affleck. Everything he has done up until now was preparing him for this. He does not falter, He does not sway. He does not tip his hat. He is Jack Ryan.
 

"But Massawyrm, what about continuity of the series?" Fuck it. I got two words for ya. James Bond. Where's the continuity there? It's based on spy novels, a series in fact. It's grown beyond that into whole new stories never imagined by the Ian Fleming. But where's the continuity. How come in all my years of geekdom I've never heard anyone bitch after seeing a Bond film "Yeah, that was cool, but you know what sucked? Bond's wife wasn't in it. He's not married in this one either!" Well, Jack Ryan is the Bond for a new age. An American bond who is married, always gets in over his head, and wins out in the end not with clever gadgets but instead with sheer luck and by sticking with his gut feelings. Affleck is the third to play Ryan, and I hope they stick with him for a while. I want to see Affleck in The Cardinal and the Kremlin. Or Red Storm Rising. The classic Clancy that the chronology of the movies had passed up. Lets get back to the basics and see some great SPY films, not just the action rehash the series could have ended up as. coughcoughBondcough.
 

This movie takes some serious risks and they really pay off in effect. There's a moment when exactly what I thought wouldn't happen did in fact happen. Harry turned to me and swore. My jaw was in my lap. I just couldn't believe they did it. They had the balls to do it.
 

The Sum of All Fears hits in all the right ways. Robinson demonstrates once again that he is a master of manipulating the moment. His merging of character driven humor into a taut political thriller never flounders. He loves his characters and it shows. What little time we spend with Clark (Liev Schreiber) is magical. Schreiber does in the few minutes he is given here what Willem Dafoe falls just short of accomplishing in Clear and Present Danger. He's slightly off kilter. A man capable of doing nearly anything for his country. And nothing really gets him worried because he's seen it all before. He is deadpan, but brilliantly so. A perfect contrast to Affleck's Holy-shit-this-can't-really-be-happening Jack Ryan who has gotten in over his head for the first time in his life. In fact, these two are so good together, you actually forget that the last time you saw them onscreen together was in Phantoms. (Insert Affleck, you were the bomb in Phantoms, yo quote here)
 

This film was pure pleasure. A viewing experience that reminded me why spy movies suck so badly nowadays and why they were so great in the 60's and 70's. Because back then they took risks. The winner wasn't always the guy with the bigger gun or coolest gadgets. America didn't always come away unscathed. These spy movies rocked because they showed us the what ifs we were afraid of and didn't have them solved by a swashbuckling, strong chinned hero driving away from the exploding fortress carved into a mountain (or volcano). We really were at risk all along and the movies let us feel that. Phil Alden Robinson and Tom Clancy haven't forgotten about those days. They want to remind us about them. The Sum of All Fears is definitely one hell of a film. Don't miss this one.
 


DEUCES WILD




Alright, next I'm on to the film most likely to be skipped by most of America and slip into obscurity to be caught on cable at 3 A.M. when nothing else but Ron Popeil and the late night rerun of The Other Half plays opposite Crossing Over. Of course I'm talking about the 50's Greaser film "Deuces Wild". This film is one of those enjoyable theatre experiences that quickly fades away and is easily forgotten. Directed by Scott Kalvert, who before this helmed "The Basketball Diaries" and "Form...Focus...Fitness, The Marky Mark Workout" (Now that's comedy gold if I ever saw it, so insert your own Scott Kalvert joke here, or better yet, in the talkbacks below, but remember that even Tarantino and Avary P.A.'ed on the Dolph Lundgren Workout video "Maximum Potential"). The direction on this film is somewhat lacking and the editing is a real mess, never once lingering long enough to fully drink in the emotions that are running rampant through out this film. It has one of the worst, knee jerk opening monologues I've heard in years and all in all there is nothing original here.
 

The basic premise is this: Leon (Stephen Dorff) heads a gang of roughians called the Deuces in order to keep his neighborhood drug free after his younger brother hops the H-train to the pearly gates shooting a hotshot sold to him by Leon's rival, Marco (Norman Reedus, Scud from Blade 2). Marco, having been sent up river for the hotshot is set to be paroled and looking to take back the neighborhood and make some green while getting back at Leon for the 3 years he spent upstate. yeah, pretty by the book stuff.
 

"But Massawyrm, I thought you said this didn't suck." Well, it doesn't. It's actually pretty cool. You see, this is a greaser film, and if anyone ever managed to make a truly PERFECT period greaser gang film OUTSIDE of the 50's, then there would be no reason to ever make one again. And god damn it if I don't just love the damned things. Yeah, yeah, I know; just because I love 'em doesn't mean that this won't suckstart a leaf blower. But it doesn't. Deuces Wild has a couple of very cool nuances that make it worth the viewing if this is the kind of Genre picture you enjoy.
 

First and foremost, Stephen Dorff. The man, simply put, has never been this cool. Every moment he's on the screen he is the embodiment of sheer 50's chic. A ready to rumble tattooed badboy stereotype that pleases to no end. This is Dick Miller in Rock All Night cool. There isn't a doubt in your mind why the Deuces would follow a guy like this. He's tough, fair and charismatic as all hell. Dorff plays it to the hilt, giving us a great look into this badboy archtype.
 

And Opposite him, Norman Reedus is the perfect sneering villain you want to see pummeled with a crowbar. He doesn't just move onscreen; he oozes. But in the best way. Every greaser good guy needs an equally despotic heavy to make us hiss and Reedus is it here. He's not just unlikable. He's absolutely detestable. A cliché? Yes, very much so. But does he make you want to personally bash his head in? Oh yes, he does.
 

Which leads to the absolutely coolest thing about this film. The rumbles. Oh, these aren't just fights. No, no. These are truly rumbles, in every sense of the word. One thing this film drew my attention to was that no matter how cool other greaser gang movies are, they all have pansy as hell fight sequences. Usually a rumble consists of a swung bat, a few fake punches and a siren as the cops show up. Not in Deuces Wild. No way. In these fights, you FEEL the hits. Scott Kalvert's one directorial genius is the fight choreography, while not complex or creatively staged, is brutal, raw and very real feeling. There's this moment where one character gets hit in the side of the head with a lead pipe and you can just feel the teeth shatter in his head. And no one gets away unscathed. Hell, Stephen Dorff seems to spend a quarter of the film washing blood off of himself. And it's pretty much all his. These scenes resonate of Fight Club, but fall just short of being as good.
 

And of course, what 50's greaser film throwback would be complete without a list of young up and coming stars to fill the roster of it's gang. Brad Renfro turns in a good job here as Dorff's surviving younger brother, as does Frankie Muniz as the lovable neighborhood scamp Schooch. Fairuza Balk, who I normally can't stand on screen for even a minute without wanting to tear my hair out at the very sound of her voice is surprisingly likeable and I actually enjoyed her performance here. James Franco, however, has it down. The man poses like James dean better than anybody. The tilt of his head, the lighting of his cigarette. Although he has few lines, Franco stands out in the crowd as the second coolest person on screen. Of course Dorff could kick his ass in a minute, and come to think of it, Dorf the midget could kick his ass in a minute, but that doesn't matter, cause Franco is all over the pretty boy cool in this one. And he does get to kick a little ass while he's at it.
 

If you dig greaser films, and have had fun with some of my deep fried faves like the Wanderers and Roadracers, then you'll definitely have fun with this one.
 

JASON X



And Finally, we come to Jason X, which pretty much sucks. But it's a fun suck. It's obvious when they went into this they knew what they were playing with and they didn't take themselves too seriously. This movie has so much fun with itself and yet, still delivers of all the things we've come to love about the Friday the 13th series. Sex and creative violence. This one also gets you to laugh. Alot. It's camp with only a small number of groan moments. In fact, I think there's really only one really bad groaner moment. The rest is pretty cool suckage.
 

Chock full of great (terrible) one liners and awkward situations, this movie delivers on a very visceral, must be seen with a large crowd at midnight, level. If you don't know the plot of this one, then you've never seen a Friday the 13th film, cause these films don't really have alot of range in plot. Wherever young people gather to have sex, a grotesque creature in a hockey mask will show up with a ch-ch-ch-ch-ha-ha-ha-ha sound effect and bloody chaos ensues. This is no different. Only this time, he shows up in space. And it rocks. Catch this one this weekend at the midnight show and take a date. This is the most fun you're likely to have at a theatre this week. Enjoy it.
 

Oh yeah, and the best part: the movie forgets that part 9 ever happened. Wish I could.
 

Well folks, that's it for me this week. When next you hear from me, I should have a ring on my finger and a ball and chain on my ankle.
 

Until next time friends, smoke 'em if ya got 'em. I know I will.











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    Readers Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 12:18:41 AM CDT

    Well, howdya like that?

    by lenny nero

    Cool suckage is better than uncool suckage. And Dueces Wild looks badass. Am I first? Damn, if i'm not.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 12:27:08 AM CDT

    Jason Continuity

    by darc hawc

    On the subject, I'm almost sad that there wasn't at least something tieing 9 to 10 in Jason X, or even something tying 8 to 9 in Jason goes to hell. They all fit together before New Line got to them. Oh well, these are bad movies, but they are always so much fun to watch and laugh...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 12:27:49 AM CDT

    jason x

    by mstryoda

    yeah am i the only person in the world that thought there really wasn't enough sex in this movie i mean there was nudity yes but normally there is tons more then this i think horror movie have tamed down the nudity and the gore so much to appease maybe the mpaa but the gore and the nudity is what most young american go to see so why tone it down?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 12:29:27 AM CDT

    Monkey!

    by grimace

    Now that I've got your attention, for those folks who saw "Jason X", how was it? Also, I'm looking foward to "The Sum of All Fears". Haven't seen a bad review of this movie yet. "Phantoms like a motherfucker!"

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 12:42:23 AM CDT

    Jason continuity problem

    by zombiexander

    The reason that JAson X does not explain how JAson got out of hell was because he escapes from hell in Jason versus freddy wich was supposed to be released before Jason X but that film fell behind schedule and they decided since Jason X was already finished that they would go ahead and release it first. Timeline be damned, I guess we need to wait just a little longer to see how he got out. That does tell us one thing though, Jason must win Jason versus Freddy because he's still alive when Jason X begins and i havent heard anything about a new Freddy film

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 12:46:53 AM CDT

    kremlin

    by krups

    forgive me if i'm mistaken, it's been a while since my last clancy reading, but isn't it cardinal OF the kremlin, and is jack ryan NOT in red storm rising?
    on a similar train of thought, RSR would make for a crappy movie- the whole world war III aspect (which is basically what the book boils down to) has been pretty cliched in my mind, and though the story worked on paper, thanks to clancy's genius storytelling, it would flop in the theatres.
    that's all i've got to say.
    -krups

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 12:50:42 AM CDT

    The producers Stole Jason X from Mad Tv.

    by siletnmallrat

    During the first or second season of mad tv, they did a movieish skit (Pre filmed) about Jason abord the space shuttle killing a couple of kids who where having sex on the shuttel. It was called Jason in Space.

    Think about it.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 1:46:13 AM CDT

    Speaking of Tarantino

    by mimirogers3rdnip

    If he's such a genius how come he hasnt yet put Dana Delaney or Mimi Rogers in one of his films? Huh? Tiny Lister was good in Jackie Brown but Mimi would've( would of, for some of you.) given the part depth!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 2:12:45 AM CDT

    Jack Ryan continuity

    by cmbat

    As much as I'm sure you're right about Sum of All Fears, I have to say that you've got a seriously wrong factoid in your desire to see Affleck stick to the Ryan role for other Clancy films. Red Storm Rising was the only Clancy novel not set in the Ryan/Clark universe. Has nothing to do with Jack Ryan. If they make other Clancy films, they will likely be Jack Ryan novels. Therefore, Red Storm Rising will never be one of them.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 3:15:28 AM CDT

    JASON X and jack ryan films

    by batman_9

    i really enjoyed JASON X. the makers chose to use the jason from parts 6, 7, and most of 8. the unstoppable super killing machine. although they didn't really forget part 9. they admitted that jason was captured in 2008...giving a fifteen year period between captivity and going to hell. it was funny and there were some great kills. and for the first time since part 7...the ending didn't suck.
    about jack ryan films...i've enjoyed them but i never really thought that harrison was as good of a ryan as alec. i'm really looking foward to affleck's portrayal and i think under the circumstances relaunching the franchise was the right thing to do. harrison turned this role down so instead of finding a replacement deputy director of the cia jack ryan, they give us a unmarried nobody cia analysist jack ryan. good move. also wanted to point out that although five actors have filled his shoes and the movies are no longer based on ian flemming's novels...james bond's continuity has reamined intact. his wife was killed in ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE...her grave visited six films later when roger moore had assumed the role...and she was again mentioned four films later in LICENSE TO KILL with tim dalton. as it stands now...brosnan's bond has been married...but it was a long time ago...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 4:24:17 AM CDT

    I remember Mad TV doing SLING BLADE in space.

    by cash bailey

    That was pretty funny, even though it was done after the got rid of the God-like genius that was David Herman. Remember that election skit he did with Ice-T that time? Herman was 'Bob Dolemite' and it was the funniest thing I've ever seen. "Fifty-four percent of the voters are BEE-ATCHES!" God I used to love that show.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 6:41:56 AM CDT

    Are we STILL looking at Sum Of All Fears?

    by cooldan989

    It's out now! We can see it for ourselves now! No more damn reviews, Harry! Please!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 6:42:48 AM CDT

    Correction...

    by cooldan989

    Actually, Sum Of All Fears isn't out yet. Sorry, I confused it with Changing Lanes. *blush*

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 9:11:58 AM CDT

    Umm.. It's not out till May 31st

    by samwave

    You dweeb.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 9:28:55 AM CDT

    Jason X Was Terriable!

    by the founder

    I don't care what this guy says, this is one of the worst films ever made, and how it got greenlit is, well I can't even think of a phrase that would fit. I know you're supposed to have fun with a Jason movie, but DAMN! did it have to be so bad. A Jason movie hasn't been out in a long time, and this is the best they could come up with after Jason's long absent. Yeah I think you shouldn't expect much of a plot, but it just was beyond terriable, hell to of cast was from Andromeda for god sakes, and the acting stunk. Just because it's a Jason movie doesn't mean they can't put some effort into it.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 10:08:06 AM CDT

    For these genres, timing is everything.

    by rabid_republican

    So, here we are, on the prescipice (sp?) of May and the early summer blockbusters are reving at the gate. For the genre films mentioned in this piece, timing is everything. The example of good timing is SOAF, which is waiting for both Spider-Man and Ep.II to be released, counting on June to have it show strong for those burnt out on webs and lightsabers. By contrast, Dueces Wild will be DOA as some MENSA member foolishly decided to put it up against Spider-Man in its first week. And Jason X? Well, the mistake here may have been to actually MAKE THE FILM AT ALL...but I digress. All this said, think I'll go see SOAF first week, given all its good buzz.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 10:26:47 AM CDT

    Like, wow Daddy-o, this movie's for squares!

    by osmosis jones

    Deuces Wild looks like one of those unintentional laugh-riot 50's/60's teen melodramas that got roasted on Mysterey Science Theater 3000 on a regular basis. "They must be sitting in the slang section."

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 10:47:33 AM CDT

    People weren't "chic" in the '50s, daddy-o.

    by christopher3

    They were "hep."

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 11:44:24 AM CDT

    Jason X

    by tesarta

    This was one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen, and I LOVED it. It went beyond camp, sort of circled back and went a little serious, but stayed aware of the cheeseball aspect of the whole silly idea. And the holographic Crystal Lake scene was worth the price of admission - as was the final scene of the film. This was the perfect awful film: not so campy as to be pointless, not so serious as to be impossible to swallow. Lovely. Awful. Great.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 11:48:40 AM CDT

    Moron

    by damer1

    This guy is a moron and a loser.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 11:54:46 AM CDT

    Jason is the Zeppo of serial horror icons

    by walterburns

    Seriously, Freddy is Groucho with his winking mischief and witty quips, Michael Myers is Chico as he's not as witty as Groucho but pulls off his own schtick better than all else, and Leatherface is Harpo in his silent stupidity and mastery of a trade (harp/chainsaw). And of course, like Zeppo, Jason's presence really doesn't affect anything. He's there because if he wasn't, it would be weird, yet really doesn't add anything new or exciting. For my money, the Leprechaun or the Zuni Fetish Warrior doll or even the Puppetmaster puppets or the monkey from Shakma have a lot more to offer than this giant mongoloid. Which is why I LOVE JASON X. Sure he's still a big dope, but it's a big dope in an environment that elicits endearing work. Jason X was like watching Mike Tyson and O.J. Simpson do the Lucy chocolate factory sketch. A wacky redressing of characters we're tired of. Please, if you didn't like Jason X because you felt it did the Friday series a disservice, watch the first Friday movie and ask yourself "Which was the greater disservice: Jason X or the greater echelon of media pushing this bland remake of Halloween at a summer camp as kin in quality and originality as Halloween, Elm Street, or Chainsaw Massacre?"

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 12:56:05 PM CDT

    Jason X...

    by schreck

    ...funny as hell at times (especially the sleeping bag scene). My only complaint; why the Hell did they give Jason that ridiculous curly hair?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Just saw Jason X . . . It is bad. No big surprise there. However, it is dull, dull, dull. Now, that is a shocker. I really didn't see much point in setting the movie 500 years in the future. Really, even with the decent sci-fi special effects, Jason X is a re-hash of every other Friday the 13th film. It doesn't capitalize upon its backdrop. In the end, the time period is little more than a gimmick. The audience is promised something new and special. However, the flick doesn't deliver the goods. Instead of a fresh spin upon the series (think Wes Craven's New Nightmare or Bride of Chucky) Jason X is Friday the 13th parts 3,4,5,6 and Jason Goes to New York rolled into one movie. The picture name drops and hints at other genre pictures (the likes of Alien and Solaris are referenced). Still, is that really all that clever? Furthermore, the cast is loaded with aspiring young mannequins who fail to breath the smallest amount of life into the underwritten roles. Truthfully, halfway through Jason X, I could not even remember the names of the victims-in-waiting. Okay, I know that people go to these movies for the high body count. To be sure, Jason X delivers in this area. Well over 20 people meet their timely deaths in this film. Still, so many characters are sliced and diced, the proceedings become tedious after about 12 minutes. One scene places Jason inside a virtual reality simulation of Camp Crytal Lake, circa 1980. Finally (three quarters of the way through!!!) Jason X shows a genuine sense of humor. If the rest of the movie displayed the same spirit, it would be a winner. Instead, it rates a three out of ten.

    Reply to Talkback

  • And that book is so freakin' huge...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 4:42:12 PM CDT

    in response to 2 posts

    by morty viventi

    Wendigofett: The song in the TV spots is (I think) "Bodies" by Drowning Pool ("Let the bodies hit the floor..."). I'm glad it's not in the movie, as that nu-metal shit is really tiresome and samey. Although that style sounds a helluva lot more appropriate here than in the fucking AMERICAN OUTLAWS trailer.
    Siletnmallrat: I saw the "Apollo the 13th" sketch too, but John Carpenter had this idea years(?) before. I read in a 1994 issue of Fangoria that Carpenter wanted to get the Halloween rights back and do a sequel with Michael Myers in space.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 6:29:16 PM CDT

    Jason X is a 'fun suck'? What the?

    by pr_gmr

    Jason X is a 'fun suck'? What the? See.. this is the problem with horror movies made nowadays. Most of them suck.. made by talentless hacks and churned out by expoitative movie studios without a concern for actual plots, writing, characterization or capable direction... and then you got geeks like Masswyrm who review them and ACTUALLY recommend for being 'fun sucks' and a great campy time. It's madness I tell you. These reviewers don't have the sense to call a movie crap when they see crap!! Sad thing is.. horror films are going to continue to be in the dumps due in part to the attitudes of reviewers like Massawyrm. You mean to tell me horror films cannot be more than Comedic Camp??? Ohh Jeebus, spare me!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 7:38:17 PM CDT

    Thank you WalterBurns for the biggest laugh I've had all day

    by liquidnitrate

    Anyone who expounds time from their life to overthink subcultural rubbish to that extent is pure cool. That's the courageous, unabashed kind of geek that surpasses the normal nerds in his own special way. Publically discussing Shakma is punishable by death in some states.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 29, 2002 10:49:34 PM CDT

    Orange County wasn't shite.

    by fumar

    I love how dumbfounded dipshits give shitty reviews, then realize it, so they dismiss decent movies as "shite". I bet this dude hangs out in the local gas station parking lot all night talking to 18 year-olds that drive souped up Hondas. There's always one old dude there that doesn't seem to ever leave.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 30, 2002 7:14:25 AM CDT

    3 Jason X Reviews? Well, here's another!

    by oldirtyaztec

    http://www.fadedatmovies.net/jx.html

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 30, 2002 7:36:29 AM CDT

    Another Jason Review?

    by oldirtyaztec

    http://www.fadedatmovies.net/jx.html

    There's another one for good measure.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 30, 2002 11:06:00 AM CDT

    Okay you negative JasonX aholes....

    by philtho

    First off, this is a FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH movie. You know, the really sucky B horror flicks that are going to be really sucky, but show you a bunch of people dying in a dozen different ways... This is the same thing. There is only varrying layers of suck here..B movies wouldnt be B movies if they were A. Jason X makes no attempt to be anything better but it does offer a few foot stomping scenes, and some very unique and hilarious death scenes. It also has a lot of blatent nudity. This succeeds on all those levels, and it offers a lot more than the majority of this series, so this gets a "Good review for a bad movie". You people aren't seeing this apparently. If you thought 1-9 were DULL and BORING or STUPID, this isnt any better.

    Reply to Talkback

  • May 01, 2002 1:07:39 AM CDT

    Philtho

    by erichg

    I don't think that people are "a-holes" just because they didn't like Jason X . . .There is no need for the talkback to get so nasty. Peace, dude. In terms of the before-mentioned film. A lengthy build-up preceded the latest Friday the 13th offering. Jason X promised an updated look and a new attitude. Audience expectations were higher this time around. Instead of Wes Craven's New Nightmare (or even a Bride of Chucky), we get Leprechaun 4. That is indeed a disappointment. This series is long on empty promises. Twice the producers have used the word "final" in a title. Yet, we're now on the tenth chapter. Also, Jason was suppose to "Take Manhattan" - that's hard to do when 90% of that flick takes place on a boat. Maybe the audience backlash is a response to years of Friday the 13th pictures falling short of stated goals. I think that people who have a beef with Jason X have a valid perspective. Keep it real, man. PS>(I submitted further observations on Jason X elsewhere in the talkback)

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  • May 02, 2002 1:26:48 PM CDT

    The Sum Of All Fears

    by bascom

    What makes you think that this movie is in a parallel to the other Jack Ryan movies. Since in this movie he ishanding thema college paper, and takes place before he gets married, wouldn't you call this a prequel?

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