Hey folks, Harry here with that wacked out psycho known as Massawyrm with a trio of film reviews to make you scream at him about. Take it easy on the ol boy, he's getting married at the end of this week, and ya know... Everybody should have the best week of their lives leading into marriage, and even Massawyrm deserves that! He's been trying to cut down on the nicotine intake recently, and you should have seen the waterfall of drool flowing off his goatee when he saw the Cigarette Dispenser in SUM OF ALL FEARS. I swear, it was as if they were showing buttered muffins on screen.
Hola all. Everyone's favorite Chain-smoking, Dr. Pepper swilling, indie schilling, soon to be hitched madman here with a look at several of the films coming your way in the coming weeks. This week I had the pleasure, and I do stress PLEASURE, of seeing three films, all of which carry the stigma of looking like they really, really could suck, but don't. Or at least, if and when they do, they suck in the best way possible. These three films are "The Sum of All Fears", "Deuces Wild" and "Jason X". Ah yes, Genre, sweet Genre.
So lets kick this off with the best of the bunch, shall we? The Sum of All Fears. Now this film has had alot of synchronicity going it's way in my mind. Just weeks ago I popped in Sneakers at my video store in the midst of a Robert Redford marathon I was holding in honor of his Lifetime Achievement Oscar. The directors name popped up. Phil Alden Robinson. "Hey" I thought to myself. "This movie rocks. It was perfectly directed, a wonderfully paced spy film with a perfect mix of suspense and comedy. Whatever happened to this guy?" So, being at work and having no access to IMDB, I pulled out my trusty 2 year old video guide and went to work. Nothing. He did nothing. Vanished like a fart in the wind. "Must have died," I thought.
Then Changing Lanes came along with a trailer for "The Sum of All Fears" and a buddy of mine Chris leaned over chuckling "The Sum of all fears IS Ben Affleck as Jack Ryan." I admit. I chuckled. I did. I chuckled in the same way I did when someone had mentioned Cuba Gooding Jr. as the next James Bond. There's just something that doesn't SOUND right about it. The trailer, well, the trailer sold it as pretty par-for-the-course-fourth-in-a-series profit vehicle loaded up with names that assured me that middle America would have their asses firmly planted in seats. However, it spoke nothing of quality.
Then I saw the poster. With the tagline. 27,000 nuclear weapons. One is missing." Okay, to the marketing Einstein that came up with this gem of a phrase: Whoever told you less was more did you a great disservice my friend. Throw in a few words. Make it roll of the tongue. This phrase, this one phrase above all made me fear watching this movie. That, and well, Affleck standing where Ford and the good Baldwin once stood? Come on.
So when Harry and I hooked up at the screening and he looked over at me with that excited, cherubic grin he gets when the shits really about to go down in our favor and said "Get ready to have your mind blown," I just kinda shrugged. No way. Harry's yankin' my crank again.
You know, there are moments where I actually love it when Harry's right. This was one of them. Holy God, does this movie kick ass! What the hell happened over at Paramount that allowed a film this good to get made?!? I still have nightmares that involve the Paramount logo from the truckload of shite they've dumped on me this year. Orange County. Crossroads. Clockstoppers. -twitch twitch- There, they've started again. The goddamned ticks those films gave me. But this. This is a top quality, balls out risk of a film, that really could have played by the rules, played it safe and played just fine. But no. Instead it had to rule. It had to take big risks and throw caution to the wind. And boy howdy does every single risk pay off big.
First of all, this movie says fuck all to the continuity of the series. This isn't the same series, it's a parallel universe. An alternate reality where instead of Ryan's first meeting with top brass being about a book he wrote on a Russian sub captain, it's about a college paper he wrote on the man who is the new Russian president. It is a reality where Ryan is not yet married and has just met the love of his life. It is a reality where he has yet to climb the ranks and become an operative. To that reality, I raise my glass. I love this reality. Ben Affleck has finally found himself a role where he really seems comfortable. For the first time in his life he is not Ben Affleck (fill in the blank). He is Jack Ryan. Jack Ryan is Ben Affleck. Everything he has done up until now was preparing him for this. He does not falter, He does not sway. He does not tip his hat. He is Jack Ryan.
"But Massawyrm, what about continuity of the series?" Fuck it. I got two words for ya. James Bond. Where's the continuity there? It's based on spy novels, a series in fact. It's grown beyond that into whole new stories never imagined by the Ian Fleming. But where's the continuity. How come in all my years of geekdom I've never heard anyone bitch after seeing a Bond film "Yeah, that was cool, but you know what sucked? Bond's wife wasn't in it. He's not married in this one either!" Well, Jack Ryan is the Bond for a new age. An American bond who is married, always gets in over his head, and wins out in the end not with clever gadgets but instead with sheer luck and by sticking with his gut feelings. Affleck is the third to play Ryan, and I hope they stick with him for a while. I want to see Affleck in The Cardinal and the Kremlin. Or Red Storm Rising. The classic Clancy that the chronology of the movies had passed up. Lets get back to the basics and see some great SPY films, not just the action rehash the series could have ended up as. coughcoughBondcough.
This movie takes some serious risks and they really pay off in effect. There's a moment when exactly what I thought wouldn't happen did in fact happen. Harry turned to me and swore. My jaw was in my lap. I just couldn't believe they did it. They had the balls to do it.
The Sum of All Fears hits in all the right ways. Robinson demonstrates once again that he is a master of manipulating the moment. His merging of character driven humor into a taut political thriller never flounders. He loves his characters and it shows. What little time we spend with Clark (Liev Schreiber) is magical. Schreiber does in the few minutes he is given here what Willem Dafoe falls just short of accomplishing in Clear and Present Danger. He's slightly off kilter. A man capable of doing nearly anything for his country. And nothing really gets him worried because he's seen it all before. He is deadpan, but brilliantly so. A perfect contrast to Affleck's Holy-shit-this-can't-really-be-happening Jack Ryan who has gotten in over his head for the first time in his life. In fact, these two are so good together, you actually forget that the last time you saw them onscreen together was in Phantoms. (Insert Affleck, you were the bomb in Phantoms, yo quote here)
This film was pure pleasure. A viewing experience that reminded me why spy movies suck so badly nowadays and why they were so great in the 60's and 70's. Because back then they took risks. The winner wasn't always the guy with the bigger gun or coolest gadgets. America didn't always come away unscathed. These spy movies rocked because they showed us the what ifs we were afraid of and didn't have them solved by a swashbuckling, strong chinned hero driving away from the exploding fortress carved into a mountain (or volcano). We really were at risk all along and the movies let us feel that. Phil Alden Robinson and Tom Clancy haven't forgotten about those days. They want to remind us about them. The Sum of All Fears is definitely one hell of a film. Don't miss this one.
DEUCES WILD
Alright, next I'm on to the film most likely to be skipped by most of America and slip into obscurity to be caught on cable at 3 A.M. when nothing else but Ron Popeil and the late night rerun of The Other Half plays opposite Crossing Over. Of course I'm talking about the 50's Greaser film "Deuces Wild". This film is one of those enjoyable theatre experiences that quickly fades away and is easily forgotten. Directed by Scott Kalvert, who before this helmed "The Basketball Diaries" and "Form...Focus...Fitness, The Marky Mark Workout" (Now that's comedy gold if I ever saw it, so insert your own Scott Kalvert joke here, or better yet, in the talkbacks below, but remember that even Tarantino and Avary P.A.'ed on the Dolph Lundgren Workout video "Maximum Potential"). The direction on this film is somewhat lacking and the editing is a real mess, never once lingering long enough to fully drink in the emotions that are running rampant through out this film. It has one of the worst, knee jerk opening monologues I've heard in years and all in all there is nothing original here.
The basic premise is this: Leon (Stephen Dorff) heads a gang of roughians called the Deuces in order to keep his neighborhood drug free after his younger brother hops the H-train to the pearly gates shooting a hotshot sold to him by Leon's rival, Marco (Norman Reedus, Scud from Blade 2). Marco, having been sent up river for the hotshot is set to be paroled and looking to take back the neighborhood and make some green while getting back at Leon for the 3 years he spent upstate. yeah, pretty by the book stuff.
"But Massawyrm, I thought you said this didn't suck." Well, it doesn't. It's actually pretty cool. You see, this is a greaser film, and if anyone ever managed to make a truly PERFECT period greaser gang film OUTSIDE of the 50's, then there would be no reason to ever make one again. And god damn it if I don't just love the damned things. Yeah, yeah, I know; just because I love 'em doesn't mean that this won't suckstart a leaf blower. But it doesn't. Deuces Wild has a couple of very cool nuances that make it worth the viewing if this is the kind of Genre picture you enjoy.
First and foremost, Stephen Dorff. The man, simply put, has never been this cool. Every moment he's on the screen he is the embodiment of sheer 50's chic. A ready to rumble tattooed badboy stereotype that pleases to no end. This is Dick Miller in Rock All Night cool. There isn't a doubt in your mind why the Deuces would follow a guy like this. He's tough, fair and charismatic as all hell. Dorff plays it to the hilt, giving us a great look into this badboy archtype.
And Opposite him, Norman Reedus is the perfect sneering villain you want to see pummeled with a crowbar. He doesn't just move onscreen; he oozes. But in the best way. Every greaser good guy needs an equally despotic heavy to make us hiss and Reedus is it here. He's not just unlikable. He's absolutely detestable. A cliché? Yes, very much so. But does he make you want to personally bash his head in? Oh yes, he does.
Which leads to the absolutely coolest thing about this film. The rumbles. Oh, these aren't just fights. No, no. These are truly rumbles, in every sense of the word. One thing this film drew my attention to was that no matter how cool other greaser gang movies are, they all have pansy as hell fight sequences. Usually a rumble consists of a swung bat, a few fake punches and a siren as the cops show up. Not in Deuces Wild. No way. In these fights, you FEEL the hits. Scott Kalvert's one directorial genius is the fight choreography, while not complex or creatively staged, is brutal, raw and very real feeling. There's this moment where one character gets hit in the side of the head with a lead pipe and you can just feel the teeth shatter in his head. And no one gets away unscathed. Hell, Stephen Dorff seems to spend a quarter of the film washing blood off of himself. And it's pretty much all his. These scenes resonate of Fight Club, but fall just short of being as good.
And of course, what 50's greaser film throwback would be complete without a list of young up and coming stars to fill the roster of it's gang. Brad Renfro turns in a good job here as Dorff's surviving younger brother, as does Frankie Muniz as the lovable neighborhood scamp Schooch. Fairuza Balk, who I normally can't stand on screen for even a minute without wanting to tear my hair out at the very sound of her voice is surprisingly likeable and I actually enjoyed her performance here. James Franco, however, has it down. The man poses like James dean better than anybody. The tilt of his head, the lighting of his cigarette. Although he has few lines, Franco stands out in the crowd as the second coolest person on screen. Of course Dorff could kick his ass in a minute, and come to think of it, Dorf the midget could kick his ass in a minute, but that doesn't matter, cause Franco is all over the pretty boy cool in this one. And he does get to kick a little ass while he's at it.
If you dig greaser films, and have had fun with some of my deep fried faves like the Wanderers and Roadracers, then you'll definitely have fun with this one.
JASON X
And Finally, we come to Jason X, which pretty much sucks. But it's a fun suck. It's obvious when they went into this they knew what they were playing with and they didn't take themselves too seriously. This movie has so much fun with itself and yet, still delivers of all the things we've come to love about the Friday the 13th series. Sex and creative violence. This one also gets you to laugh. Alot. It's camp with only a small number of groan moments. In fact, I think there's really only one really bad groaner moment. The rest is pretty cool suckage.
Chock full of great (terrible) one liners and awkward situations, this movie delivers on a very visceral, must be seen with a large crowd at midnight, level. If you don't know the plot of this one, then you've never seen a Friday the 13th film, cause these films don't really have alot of range in plot. Wherever young people gather to have sex, a grotesque creature in a hockey mask will show up with a ch-ch-ch-ch-ha-ha-ha-ha sound effect and bloody chaos ensues. This is no different. Only this time, he shows up in space. And it rocks. Catch this one this weekend at the midnight show and take a date. This is the most fun you're likely to have at a theatre this week. Enjoy it.
Oh yeah, and the best part: the movie forgets that part 9 ever happened. Wish I could.
Well folks, that's it for me this week. When next you hear from me, I should have a ring on my finger and a ball and chain on my ankle.
Until next time friends, smoke 'em if ya got 'em. I know I will.
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