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JASON X review
Other than "chi chi chi chi ahh ahh ahh ahhh", the various ejaculatory moments of death and the occasional bared breasts of a FRIDAY THE 13TH film there is nothing to recommend ever.
Jason Voorhees has always been a half-assed imitation of Michael Myers… His theme sucks ass in comparison. Jason’s killings were always more creative… He did get to kill in 3-D. However, Jason to me represents everything wrong with the Modern Horror film. He’s a complete non-character. Just a killing machine, you could say the same thing about Myers and the Terminator, but that fucking pale faced Kirk mask was killer… and Ahnuldt infused amazing Austrian flair in his killing machine. In Jason’s films I’ve never once given to shakes at a urinal for a single character in his films. They were… simply, all red shirts.
Now, admittedly the best thing about a FRIDAY THE 13TH film is playing the Jason drinking or toking game (choose your poison wisely). Any time naughty sexual contact occurs take a swig/toke. Any time somebody walks into a dark room calling somebody’s name that they know is dead… take a swig/toke. Finally whenever Jason kills someone, empty your glass/inhale it to the embers.
This can be fun.
Getting severely fucked up has been the only possible step for me to be able to enjoy those films.
Having said that, I’ve been excited about this movie for a while now. WHY?
I mean, I understand looking at it blankly why someone would be skeptical. It is a b-genre film relocated to Space…. This usually means it sucks ass. HELLRAISER sucked in space. HIGHLANDER sucked on another planet.
Well, my interest in the project got started when I heard that David Cronenberg was in the movie in a small role. That guaranteed me in attendance, as I will not miss anything that Cronenberg does at any level of participation. I’m that big of a fan. However, my immediate question when I heard he was in the film was… WHY? Why is David Cronenberg in a FRIDAY THE 13TH movie?
That’s when I discovered that a director by the name of Jim ‘Smash’ Isaac was in charge. Name meant nothing, but because Cronenberg was in the movie I looked him up. His credits included work on NAKED LUNCH, THE FLY, GREMLINS, RETURN OF THE JEDI, eXistenZ, and his only previous directorial job was a pretty sad excuse for a 3rd part of the epic HOUSE trilogy. However, even that had goofy fun-ness with the god Brion James, Lance Henriksen and Lawrence Tierney. However, saying that… HOUSE 3 sucked balls with jagged cavity-ridden teeth. HORRIBLE. Now I had heard that Jim was studying and being taught quite a bit about film from Cronenberg… That they had become friends and that was why he was in it. A Cronenberg Understudy? Could be worth a look.
Now JASON X was written by a first time screenwriter that also had a part in the film… Todd Farmer. Hmmm… Could still suck!
Then, nearly two years ago, Moriarty saw JASON X and had a ton of fun with it. As did John Robie, Flmlvr and a ton of others. Now Moriarty is not a FRIDAY THE 13TH fan. Not at any level really. Well, maybe the Kevin Bacon death in the first one pleased him, but that was about it. I often like to back Moriarty into the film snob category and his liking of this film seemed to run counter to his stuffy Victorian sensibilities about narrative film construction and understanding. Was Moriarty able to be cool enough, or was it the Halfling’s Leaf talking? Hmmm…
Nearly two years later I finally see the movie for myself at an early screening here in Austin. What did I think?
Fun. Goofy. Self-Aware. Cheesy. Fun.
There is more character work for me with this Jason than I have ever seen before. His twitching when he senses someone is having sex… funny stuff. This is the sort of movie that you read a Joe Bob Briggs review and laugh about – corkscrew fu, virtual co-ed fu, de-nippling fu, liquid nitrogen fu, machete-fu, kung fu, gun fu and on and on and on. Over the course of this film, I just got in that Joe Bob mood. That feeling where you realize that the filmmakers didn’t take any of this seriously. The actors didn’t. The screenwriter certainly didn’t… Why should I?
The result is my absolute favorite Jason movie. Now that isn’t high praise, that means that it is the best Jason movie.
This is the first Jason movie where I actually can see that there are real characters that I kinda dig. Where there are some jokes that are really frickin’ funny. JASON X doesn’t play like any of the other Jason films. For one, this movie looks like a zillion bucks. I love the look of the film. These girls are universally hot. And there is nudity. Characters that I genuinely liked… die. And Jason does have a character to take him on and it worked for me.
In a way this movie reminds me of BRIDE OF CHUCKY though not quite as fantastic as that movie. Of course, I feel BRIDE OF CHUCKY is absolute genius… JASON X has that sort of humor, the deadpan ‘oh shit’ feel that the victims have.
There is no deep meanings hidden away in this script other than to not partake in pre-marital sex, booze or drugs… BUT ya know what, fuck that… Jason would kill you whether or not you did those things, but… if you abstain, he might miss you… You might survive, however… would you have ever truly lived if you didn’t partake in drugs, alcohol and pre-marital sex? I mean, isn’t that the cornerstone of this great country. To fuck and be fucked up? I think so. Jason is a prick for trying to squelch our pursuit of happiness. Jason obviously represents the Baptist Church or those fucking Televangelists or Jesse Helms. And they all must be put down.
As a result this movie has something for everyone. You can be a Right Wing Bible Thumping Book Burning Bastard and cheer Jason on as he rids the world of mortal sins… Or if you are a Sin-loving heathen rooting to see the sinners of the world keel over…
Will Freedom Ring? Watch JASON X to see if the truths we hold self-evident are upheld. It’s not just horror, it is our goddamn freedom of speech that is at risk in this movie. Jason represents the fucking MPAA. He’s that hidieous dwarf on stilts and a hockey mask wielding his flesh-editing tool to remove the objectionable according to his own personal code of hypocritical ethics. Jason Voorhees is the MPAA.
Kill the bastard, and he comes back more slick, more powerful and more evil than ever.
Go Teenage Sex Deviants! Go Kinky Archeology Professor! Go Terminatrix Hottie! Go Tony Todd Lookalike Badass Sgt! You are all that stands between us and the evil that is the MPAA.
Ok, see… this is how you have fun with a fun JASON movie. Hehehehe
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What an incredibly piss-poor written review that was. Michael Wilmington you are not.
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Apr 24, 2002 6:55:20 AM CDT
That "upgraded" mask sure looks a lot like the chrome Terminator
by derubermax
And fuck people who type comments in the subject line ;p
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KILL JSON KILL, i my self agree wiht everything Harry said, i only watched the Firday movies just for the film historic importance of them and the nudity!
I am more of a Michael Myers kind of a film geek. But damn since i saw the trailer of this(JASON X) and heared from Mr.Evil himself, Drew Moriarty McWinnie, that he had hell fun with it i can't wait to catch it on the cinema. We are lucky man we are damn lucky check out this early 2002 list: BLADE II, SPIDERMAN, JASON X and after that STAR WARS EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES and then MINORITY REPORT and REIGHN OF FIRE and GANGS OF NEW YORK and ROAD TO PERITION MAN MAN MAN MAN super year! -
Jason is more likely to represent my dick. now to tell you why jason vorhees represents everything nice in the world. 1. in No. 2 the first film with jason as the killer, has jason taking a boiling 'screaming' kettle off the hob of the first films survivors oven. just after the death he stops the cause of a fire and some distressing noise. in No. 2 jason is hygenic as he has a toilet in his li'l house in the woods, sweet image. in No. 7 he bothers to close all doors behind him and is greeted by having the house colapse on top of him! In No. 8 Jason hits the fire alarm after throwing some film geek into flames, this will save the rest of them but it isn't jasons fault they all die, its the consellors who tell them to wait at the bottom of the boat while it sinks (the mpaa cut the slaughter of the kids, well they slaughtered this film more than any other) but to top it off in No. 9 jason proves he's a real nice guy by crawling up his dead relatives crotch. I love him and want to have his babies eating his head half way through the intercourse and smear him on toast. In No. 10 he dies crapply, worse than hollow man or the entirety of pearl harbour and howard the duck combined as one, but the camping scene in crystal lake will have you on the floor rollin with laughter so hard you'll Shit!!!!!
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The Jason films are crap, but they are slightly entertaining crap. I'll probably end up watching this on DVD. Why on Earth am I posting here at all? Oh, that's right, I wanted to use my funny headline. Hur-hur.
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Mark me down in that Film Snob category, because there's no way in hell that I'm seeing this movie.
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(who I have a huge crush on) to see this. (it's OK...All he wanted was his machete back...)
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Apr 24, 2002 7:39:59 AM CDT
This movie kicked ass. i love the "liquid freezing" head smash
by silenceoffreedom
This has to be the best of the series. Gotta love killings like this. Though my other favs are 5 and 6, despite what you all say
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..and it's pretty entertaining. It's almost like a comical version of It came from Outer Space. Get a bag of popcorn, a gallon of soda, and turn off your brain... you'll enjoy it.
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Hey, is it me, or did I see Lar Par Lincold (Friday 7) in the stroke-flick "Cock-in-Cheek"? Anyhoo... I am looking forward to seeing this movie, whether it be on Film or DVD. It's brainless fun. If ya look at it that way, you're set to be entertained. It's VERY easy for people to write this one off right away. Manhattan and Hell were pretty lacklustre (even with the Evil Dead Necronomicon cameo), but this looks to be a pretty decent prelude to the Jason vs Freddy/Freddy vs Jason flick. I bet the studios are just waiting to see how this flick fares before giving it the official greenlight. Anyway, Alien3 RULES!
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I'm going to take this opportunity to express a long held theory of mine about slasher films of the 70s/80s-the main morality theme(as Harry pointed out)is that sex,drugs and booze lead to death by psycho killer,however if you look at the women who are killed in most of these flicks,who are the ones that die? The ones who are totally into hair,clothes,makeup and guys. Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween,however dresses in non-tight jeans and button down shirts;she's a brainy gal who decides to babysit rather than screw around with a guy. Her girlfriend,P.J. Soles winds up being strangled by Michael Myers pretending to be her boyfriend.
The women who live thru slasher flicks are the typical feminist ideal,smart,sexual on their own terms and don't need/want a man. The gal who get it are the kind that feminists would call traitors to the cause. The best example of this is in one of the Friday the 13th films(which I actually paid money to see in a theater during my teen years-very surreal experience,no one in the audience wanted anyone to live*not that I totally blame for not rooting for stick figure characters but I atleast wanted one person to live!*),Friday the 13:The New Blood(where Jason fights the psychic girl played by Lar Park Lincoln). One of the female characters was a typical brain,complete with glasses and geek wear. At one point,she decides to hook up with one of the guys and takes off the glasses and goes into babe mode. Who does she hook up with-Jason,who impales her thru a woodshed door(no sexual jokes intended). These films have always been accused of being sexist and treating women as disposable but I believe that what these movies are saying to women is that only a true feminist can survive the big bad male evil and that if you don't tote the party line,you're dead. Basically,Smart Women survive-Stupid Sluts Die. Well,that's my rant-I like the Nightmare On Elm Street movies much more than the Jason flicks(more creative plus better character development). My main beef with this new Jason film can best be summed up in this quote from Demolition Man by Wesley Snipes as Simon Phoenix(one of the main reasons that film is a guilty pleasure of mine):"This is the future-where are all the phaser guns and ****?!" -
Or did I miss where Harry mentioned what he did.
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Why was this silly movie even made? The "Friday the 13th" films ceased being interesting when they stopped stealing from superior films. As any child knows, the scene in "Friday the 13th Part 2" where Jason spears the two naked teenagers while they are having sex is a direct rip-off of Mario Bava's far superior "Twitch of the Death Nerve," also known as "Bay of Blood." After that bit of cinematic thievery, the Jason movies could only go downhill.
(Was that fanboyish enough?) -
I don
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Fucking film snobs...I hate em'.
Judging a movie before you EVEN SEE IT. Geesh.
Hey, wait a min. did you say "Bride of Chuckie"? -
"Flesh-editing": Genius. Pure genius, Harry.
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Is that a roman numberal like JASON X? That was a good review. A GREAT review is when the movie is scary. I think JASON X will be very scary and I cant wait to see it. AND ITS IN SPACE! COOL! Space movie are my favorite. ATOC is gonna be bichin! -
It's got to be said!
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Apr 24, 2002 10:05:17 AM CDT
Gratuitously violent crapola is still gratuitously violent crapo
by wardog
So it's now set in outer space. Boy, that's a big innovation to the series. All the characters are still basically cyphers standing in line to be murdered. Why the fuck should we care about them in any damned Friday the 13th movie? Because of this perceived morality factor, when that has been shown not to be consistent? In that case, there is no morality factor, and it's all an arena of blood and mayhem and death, with the characters running around in a maze like lab rats to the entertainment of sickos who get off on violence. And people wonder why kids are so fucking amoral, egoistic (not egotistic, there's a difference, look it up,) and violent. I AM NOT SAYING these kinds of films cause violence in teens, but it sure as hell panders to and feeds the violent tendencies already festering in their septic minds. With no moral inculcation in their upbringing, what should we expect but for them to live down to their baser egoistic animal nature? **** "Hey, man, you looked cross-eyed at me! You dissing me or what? I gonna KILL you!"
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Sorry Harry but I think it'll suck the big one...
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Why? Please... change something. I don't know what.
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I'm one of the very few UK resident to have seen the movie, and it far surpasses the largely Jasonless "Jason Goes to Hell". It has all the B movie requirements, as well as come awesome kills. SPOILER A hook and chain being thrown in through a character's back, puncturing his chest allowing Jason to reel him in. The dipping of a female character's head in liquid nitrogen, then smashing the frozen soild mass of her face like glass, and a return to Hodder's own favorite, involving sleeping bags and hard contact. Cool dialogie, when a commando states that the spear Jason just plunged in to his chest won't kill him, then when the machete skewers him, lighting a cigar and muttering "yup...that'll do it"!SPOILER OVER.
Hodder himself is in great shape for this movie, his prescence is more threatening and intimidating that ever, proving once and for all that the role of Jason is his, as much as the Frankenstein monster was Karloff's and Freddy is Englund's All in all a welcome installment for the franchise,taing it out of the "guilty pleasure" bracket. Here's hoping it ushers in a new wave of horror movies at New Line. -
"Jason In Space" sounds like a bad Mad TV skit, only stretched to 90 minutes. There has never been, nor wil there ever be, a good Friday The 13th flick (and laughing at them is no excuse. Would that make Manos: The Hands Of Fate a "good" movie?).
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What the MPAA has to do with ANY of this? I don't think I've read a review from Harry so far that seemed quite so addled....almost inebriated. It was a little scary...
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Apr 24, 2002 11:13:18 AM CDT
Harry, you had me until you started praising this "movie"
by tarl_cabot
I always thought the serial killer genre (notice I did not say horror? Hellraiser is horror) was the most demented creation Hollywood ever got away with. It's astonishing to me that movies that feature sexuality like "Y tu mama tambien" are less accessable to young people than movies that celebrate a serial killer in the form of Jason; "Evil gets an Upgrade!"-translation:stupid people:go see Jason fully armed and operational in outer space!I never got any entertainment value out of watching young, attractive teenagers who like to party in the woods get slaughtered like pigs. The only "Jason" I saw in a theater was Friday 3-d and I supposed if you are with your buddies hammered and/or baked you might have some fun but that fun can be genrated without watching mass murder as entertainment. I agree that Holloween was actually scarier at times and made for some fun chills but Jason was just a slaughter fest that lacked tension because you never gave a shit about the victims. This movie is just the type of cinema sewege that makes it embarrasing to be from America when you consider that there are thousands of aspiring filmakers who can't their films finnanced because Hollywood would rather green light this unbelievably stupid bullshit.
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I look down the list and I laugh my ass off at the people writing in saying it sucks, it's no good, blah blah blah. Did anyone ever actually think this movie was going to be Shakespeare?. That it would be up for an Oscar?. Of course not. These movies aren't to be taken seriously. Where's the fun in that?. This is stupid entertainment. Nothing more. Yes, this is horror. Not just the 'serial killer' genre someone down below said. Horror is horror. If you don't think so, it's because you created whatever walls you put up to seperate genres in your own head.
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I almost spit my coke out when I heard that line in the trailer. This movie looks fun. The Friday the 13th movies have always been z-grade slasher films. The characters border on retarded, and the Jason backstory is more confusing then Michael's (which is actually a quite a feat). But for the the Friday films have always been sort of soothing. (except the first couple were genuinely creepy) You know what you're getting, it's gonna be cheesy, and it's gonna be fun. They nearly epitomize the 80's for me. Goofy music, bad hair, IZOD shirts, you name it and Friday the 13th had it. So I'll see Jason X (why is it called "Ex" and not "Ten" anyway?) and laugh my ass off as usual. Just as an aside, the funniest Friday so far is Part 6: Jason Lives. If you haven't seen it, rent it. Really funny in a "so bad it know's it's bad" kind of way.
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It truly is amazing how pathetic some of you are.
Who do you think you are telling people what they should and shouldn't like?? If somebody is a fan of Friday the 13th, why should you care? I'm sure they don't understand why you wear Spock ears to bed, but they're not calling for the end of Star Trek.
Why are you even taking the time to post on this topic?? Surely your lives aren't that empty. You're taking the time to voice your disgust with PART 10 of a series!! WHY!?! There are 10 of them! They should stop now to save face????!!
There are fans who want to see more of these movies. If you don't, there is no law stating that you have to go see it. Really...you won't get arrested.
Some people love fast food. I can't stand it. Its trash to me. But I don't sit outside McDonald's telling everybody that they shouldn't like McDonalds. If they want to eat it, what do I care? If they closed all the McDonalds, would they open up better places to eat? No...they give people what they want. Sometimes people just want a quick cheeseburger. It may not be nutritious. It might not be good for you. It might not enlighten you.
But people like it.
"Excuse me sir, but I don't like the taste of those cheeseburgers. Neither should you."
You're not the Guardians of Good Taste (although I'm sure some of you have a costume for it). You're basically saying "I don't like it, so nobody should." YOU DON'T NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LOVE THESE MOVIES!
As for the rest of you, I'll see you Friday night at Jason X. -
......it certainly is fun, but it really isn't that good. Some really creative parts though, most of them involving a "holodeck".
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"given to shakes at a urinal"? Jeez, I don't even know what you're trying to get across here, Harry.
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I once read this book called "Men, Women & Chainsaws" that looked at gender in slasher flicks, and pointed out that in most slasher movies the survivor, or "FInal Girl" is not only virginal, but has a boyish/androgynous name and is smarter and tougher than her dead-meat peers. "Evil Dead" is an interesting twist, since its survivor is a cowardly man with a girly name, Ashley. He also was getting laid, one presumes.
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Apr 24, 2002 12:19:00 PM CDT
Sorry, but Highlander sucked on Earth too. Except for the serie
by critical bill
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Still not gonna see it...
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Apr 24, 2002 12:46:58 PM CDT
The Terminator was a machine, like Jason, because his character
by jrcash
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Apr 24, 2002 12:49:15 PM CDT
Sorry, I meant his eye. And Michael Myers kicks ass. And the b
by jrcash
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DAMN! My friends and I mad plans to catch Jason X and we were really excited, as there's nothing more fun for us than watching a relentlessly bad movie, and this one--based on its concept alone--had potential to be one of the worst ever. Now you tell me its saving grace is that no one involved took it seriously....DAMN! Are people still impressed with cheeky, Scream-esque slasher movies. I don't want this sleek, self-aware crap; I want grainy, low budget, poorly scripted and acted crap that actually believes it's well scripted and acted. I want to laugh at someone's expense, not to be in on a joke I've heard a thousand times already. I want to give this thing the amateur MST3K treatment, but in movies like this the CHARACTERS are already doing that. SHIT!
Although, I must admit, the Joe Bob Briggs references give me some hope. -
Dammit, UF. Ahh, hope for Voorhees shit. Damn if this guy doesn't know just how to make me want to see this. Actually, I think that was assured when I went into a laughing seizure when the I caught the trailer in the theater. The minute Jason became (cue original idea...3.2.1...) a Cyborg Death machine!! I hit the floor.
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Freddy was.
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TB physics never cease to amaze me. One minute the TB seems empty but little ole me. One refresh, bang zoom, a zillion posts. Not surprising tho, the TB gremlins seem to like non-linearity in the post order. Shrug.
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Whatever else you think of that director... whom I refuse to name... he did something that a fan of the first two films finds unthinkable: killed off two major characters because it got in the way of the SEX he wanted to put into it.
Uh-uh-uh! Put down that Alien Resurrection! Whedon had one chance to undo F-- almost made me say it-- the PREVIOUS director's stupidity with a simple, canon stroke, and he refused. We could have had Michael Biehn and Carrie Hewn back in the series. I love Toy Story and Buffy/Angel, but I'm never forgiving Joss for that. -
Apr 24, 2002 1:33:28 PM CDT
probably won't see it, but the trailer was pretty hilarious
by minderbinder
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I seem to remember hearing this was shot on digital video instead of film....can anyone confirm this? Damn, another camcorder movie! Also, Aragorn, FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3 was in 3-D....SUPER 3-D, in fact.
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At the minimum, Friday 13th fans expect gore. I was SHOCKED at the surprising lack of gore, the lack of even ONE DAMN SHOCK-SCARE, and the amazing amount of Bimbo Cleavage NOT ON DISPLAY. Sure, there's a few moments of scrawny chicks getting nekkid near the end... but come on people, DIDN'T THEY READ THE MANUAL "How to Make Friday 13th Movies"?
Most of the movie features Jason showing up(not popping up unexpectedly on cue) and then the movie CUTS AWAY as he raises his machete. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
Since there are about a million characters waiting to be offed, bloodlessly, the middle HOUR is a deadly BORE. Throw in the god-awful John Tesh-inspired Yoga music on the soundtrack(I'm not talking about the ch-ch-ah-ah)and we're talking PAINFUL VIEWING.
Who are they protecting from violence, JASON FANS!?!?
Meatmaster -
It's Jason Voorhess. C'mon, say it with me know... Jason Voorhees. Somebody has made another Jason movie, the kind I used to watch with my friends when I was growing up in the eighties. My cousins and I would rent them every weekend when I used to stay over (my parents would never let me watch horror flicks, I was too easily scared!) and we'd laugh at how bad the dialogue was, how terrible some of the acting turned out and we would also wince at all of the fantastically gory kill scenes. Man, those were the good old days. Bring on FREDDY VERSUS JASON!!!!
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Forgoing the events that unfolded in Jason Goes To Hell, Jason X, the latest in the long running Friday The 13th series, breathes fresh new life into the walking corpse known as Jason Voorhees.
From the very beginning of the film it is apparent that much care and thought went into the production, and that the nearly two-year wait for the film, was well worth it.
Much debate has been heard about whether this movie should have been called Jason In Space, but the space setting in reality only adds to the excitement of this film, as it doesn -
They can make Jason 20 and I'd go... Halloween 8 in July. I'm so there for that too. I have a Michael Myers statue on my desk right next to the autographed Tom Savini photo... DAMN I LOVE HORROR!
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Piss off with the bellyaching. It was a good movie. Fincher was brave, and made that movie HIS. It was a great way to bring the Trilogy to a halt. If you look at the Alien movies as a trilogy (forget "Alien: Resurrection" for a moment), the direction this third entry takes kind of makes sense. I mean Ripley started off as a na
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Don't forget Michelle Bauer/McClellan, who appeared in Cafe Flesh
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Tune in tomorrow film freaks, when I get home, I'm crackin' open my box o' tapes and I'll find out the name Lar Park Lincoln's doppelganger used in the film Cock n' Cheek. I'll keep youse posted with the news you all need to know.
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Michael Myers better than JASON! ARE YOU ALL ON CRACK! Myers is a puss! The only way he EVER kills is if the person is a braindead moron! Every time he ran into someone with half a brain (ones who try to RUN) they always end up killing him...always! Jason, you could never run from him cause he had that woods scouted like a master. He was a auto genuis (why do you think the cars NEVER start), he sets traps (a woman running through the woods at night...ankle sprain every time), and he had a sense of humor about it all. I mean, Myers wasn't even creative with his weapons of death not to mention his immortal made no sense, I'm suppose to believe bullets don't hurt him cause he's crazy? HA! Now Jason, how many of us won't come back from the dead to kill if our moms was nagging us 24-7 about it? And he was creative, he KILLED WITH A PARTY FAVOR, A sleeping bag, weed wacker, axe, knife, hammer, pot, the man was a murder master as well! MM is a puss, JASON IS A GOD!!! And saying "Bride of Chucky" was a good movie officially ends all crediblity of the reviewer.
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If you have a favorite "Jason" film, you scare me. You scare me more than midgets and clowns.
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This can't possibly be any worse than "Jason Goes to Hell"...of course, before that film came out, I said it couldn't be worse than part 5...
hmm...
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...or does Knowles have a serious phallic problem/disorder/issue he's never addressed? A movie "sucks ass" and later "sucks balls." Freud's spinning, I swear.
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Apr 24, 2002 4:06:41 PM CDT
The Jason franchise is slasher/serial killer genre; a demented
by tarl_cabot
I'm not a big Horror fan but I know the genre has a tradition of creativity and camp dating back to the early black and white films (I'm not as qualified to lecture on this as Harry). The Wolfman, Dracula and Frankenstein come to mind and eventually the Excorcist...etc. The Friday the 13th movies started out as a d-movie answer to the summer campfire scary story telling tradition -but then it just evolved into an unstoppable killing machine saga with no real motive for Jason's killing but to kill people when they felt the most vulnerable: naked, during sex or on the jon...etc. The movies never had a heroin that we cared about like Jamie Lee Curtis or good supporting character like Donald Pleasance. They are just fucking morbid and lame. And now they take place 400 years later in outer fucking space!!!???? Yeah, someone mentioned there were already 9 installments but this is quite a leap of continuity!!! TombRaider may be a bad movie but it's not disturbingly bad. Is there supposed to be fun in watching people get hacked up? When I read the newspaper and see stories of real life serial killers who do it for kicks I feel nothing but revulsion for these "movies". I just don't see any reedeeming aspect of the Jason franchise even if you don't take it seriously and go high as a kite to the theater with your party face on. I'm not saying no one should go see "X"; maybe I'm just a snob but certainly not a protesting sensorship nazi as some talkbacker accused me of being. If you dig Jason flicks then knock yourselves out-you can have your Jason crap all to yourself! Now "Final destination"? That was a fun movie. I'd love to see more of those made.
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this movie is going to rock. jason is the best horror icon of them all. can't wait until they make jason vs. freddy. i can't believe this reviewer called jason a "half-assed" mike myers. yet it was the makers of halloween by the time 4 and 5 came along they tried to make mike into jason. jason is so much better than mike its not funny. i like myers too and halloween franchise too but he has a white mask and carries around a kitchen knife, jason has a hockey mask covering a deformed face carring a machette. there's no comparison, mike's good but jason's great!
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Apr 24, 2002 4:34:12 PM CDT
Harry has never given a New Line film a negative review since th
by atticus finch
Sell out.
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You might be on to something. It's all about the Benjamin's.
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Apr 24, 2002 4:54:35 PM CDT
Now when you say "'House 3' sucked balls with cavity-rid
by user id indeed!
... do you mean that it sucked someone's balls using its cavity-ridden teeth? Or do the balls themselves have cavity-ridden teeth?
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This might be a very unpopular idea but everyone can just go and get a file sharing program such as Kazaa and just download the whole thing right now. It's been online for a long time now and it can be gotten by all with a decent download rate. Feel free, go on...don't hesitate....there is nudity and bad acting and a guy that looks a whole lot like Dennis Franz. Oh, and the bad acting....talk about your pieces of crap. Hodder is the best actor because he does not speak. I'm sure if he did he would have been on a Shakespearean level even compared to these people. Well, that isn't entirely fair. Damned close though. Wait til you all see the odd Alien parallel when one character sends all of the "space marines" into a loading bay to catch "alien" jason with some sort of profit to be had mentality. So terrible. OH, and one guy gets screwed....I mean, that, he really does...quality CRAP well worth downloading for FREE. Enjoy.
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I have to admit, while not being a fan of ANY of the Jason flicks, I will go see this. The trailer was awesome, the mask looks cool and I'm just plain intrigued by the thought of Jason in space.
One last thing, here's my brief breakdown of the other 9 FT13th movies: -
I-Medicore at best, Halloween/Texas Chainsaw Masacre rip-off.
II-Lame sequel
III-Jason in 3D!!(The best in the series so far.)
IV-Corey Feldman (What else can I say??)
V-Crap
VI-Really crap
VII-Really, really crap!!
VIII-The title suugests that it takes place in Manhattan. 90% of this snooze-fest is on the boat going there!
IX-Jason goes to Hell? (We wish)
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For all o' y'all confused about the line "given to shakes at the urinal..." he's not talking about a seizure. He simply misspelled the word "to." He meant to say that he doesn't give two shakes (as in the number that occasionally provides underwriting for Sesame Street) at the urinal for the characters... And for the guy that lambasted Frailty. I thought it was very good. In fact, my gender-non-specific "partner" and I decided to arrange for the appropriation of some children just so we could chop them into little bits after seeing that movie.
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stolen from that last shitty hellraiser movie where they trick pinhead in space with holograms. i think i was the only one that saw that movie.
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Apr 24, 2002 7:14:27 PM CDT
I got the China-town bootleg of Jason X about five weeks ago. My
by el duderino
Even with the piss poor bootleg quality, which can make the most meticulously designed CGI sequence look like dogshit (despite this I could still tell the opening credits were well done), I can still say that I saw the film under good circumstances. With that in mind, I fed this FBI Unapproved VHS into my VCR expecting something along the lines of Bride of Chucky. Something that was so tongue-in-cheek and so mocking of itself that it elevated itself over all its preceeding cousins. Jason X DOES have some moments where it definately pokes fun at the mountains of cliches which the Friday the 13th series regurgitates over and over again, especially the VR sim (you'll know what I mean). This Jason also has one of the coolest Jason kills I have yet witnessed, involving liquid nitrogen. Yet despite these things, I actually found Jason Goes to Hell to be a more enertaining film than this, and that movie was utter shit! Had Jason gone cyborg in a better way, and MUCH earlier in the film too (he accidentally, ACCIDENTALLY becomes a cyborg in the last 15 minutes of the film), the movie could have been enertaining at least. Unfortunately, it is actually sub-par to Bride of Chucky, take that as you will, and despite Harry declaring it the BEST in the Friday the 13th series, it is still about as undesirable as a Miss Congeniality 2 (well, not quite).
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Apr 24, 2002 8:26:42 PM CDT
SOMEONE TELL ME PLEASE , WHAT EXACTLY IS JASON'S BACK STORY?
by virgil sollozzo
...AND HAVE THEY EVER SHOWN HIS FACE? yeh and that black guy does look like tony todd, is that his son or something? Not quite as menacing as Tony though, let me tell you the Candyman is one huge, sinister, walking-dead looking black man, and noone can really duplicate his look. I saw him on Boston Public and it freaked me out. Candyman is the only horror figure to ever frighten me and if i met tony todd in really life i would probably shit myself. He just looks like a big fucking corpse. But back on topic, exactly why did they make this movie again? and isnt it a blatant ripoff of hellraiser 4 and leprechaun 4? and why the fuck should these b-movie boogeymen visit space anyhow? its completely wrong. If the studio wanted to waste millions of dollars they could've just given it to me.
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Something cool happens in the movie, so you take a hit on your joint, and then you put it out? And then ten minutes later something cool happens again so you light your joint back up and take another hit, then you put it out again? You sit there staring at your drink, and then every once in a while you're allowed to take a sip of it? And then the moment passes. Has the joint made it around the room yet? Do you want a second toke? Tough luck, you'll have to wait until the slutty astrophysicist gets offed! Of course it's impossible to watch a 'Friday the 13th' movie without being fucked up. So why not just get fucked up? In the immortal words of Casey Kasem, "I don't understand it."
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Apr 24, 2002 9:00:10 PM CDT
But real horror fans are supposed to be intelligent and swig/tok
by expfcwintergreen
The Jason movies are brilliant masterpieces and unparallelled in their artful and thought provocting use of nudity and the terror that is a non-character killing machine in a hockey mask. Swig/toke, swig/toke, swig/toke, swig/toke, swig/toke, swig/toke, swig/toke...
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I'm 16, and I have seen Y TU Mama Tambien(excellent film by the way, and even though because of the sex it was not geared towards me, I sought it out anyway))
as did someone else I know(around my age). Obviously that's not a large number of people ,but some
of us "young people" actually do care about film. ANd I too will see Jason X. Iwas never a big fan of the series, but this one looks fun. See, the problem is that too many film buffs can't enjoy anything that they don't find "challenging" or "deep"(not saying you're one of them, just making a broad statement), while simotaniusly, the regular movie-goer doesn't like anything that does challenge them, and only want the normal fluff. But fuck that shit. I like many art films(Y Tu Mama) and many popcorn flicks(hopefully Jason X). Everyone should try both, you may be suprised.
P.S. I know that your'e statement was about violence and sexuality, but it seems like the TB is about film snobs and such. -
For the talkbacker who asked about Jason's backstory and what's the deal with his face. You can readily check all of this out on IMDB. But for sake of argument and brevity, let's run through this. Jason is not in the first movie, except for a quick appearance in a dream sequence at the end. The killer of the first film turns out to be his mom. She thinks he is dead, drowned by his fellow summer campers years before. In the second movie, which was evidently not planned for when the first one was made, Jason is all grown up and living in the woods hermit-style. He wears a sack over his head with one eye cut out. He is ugly as sin. He kills a few people who intrude on his turf. The third movie establishes the hockey mask motif. I start to lose track here, but as the films progress and Jason dies various violent deaths, his head gets fucked up pretty bad. By the time of the Manhattan outing, his head is essentially cottage cheese. He is physically disintegrated in the Manhattan episode. He comes back through spiritual means in the final movie(s). Some highlights of these films, none of which is worth sitting through: Corey Feldman (!) does Jason in and essentially becomes the new Jason at the end of either Episode 3, 4 or 5. I never remember which one even though it is the one FRIDAY movie I have on tape. Jason is nicely killed on the tines of a combine in one episode, although it turns out Jason is not Jason, but a demented deputy. Jason in fact does not appear in the movie. (Sure he doesn't.) He's dead. (Sure he is.) In one episode Jason kills a guy by breaking his back and bending him in half. Lovely stuff. In another episode, I think 6, Jason is resurrected in truly creepy fashion from his grave. Shades of Frankenstein! Of course, the rest of the movie is crap and I rue the day I paid for this on a PPV channel. I could go on, but you get the idea.
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Apr 24, 2002 10:39:39 PM CDT
this flick will bomb because A) alot of us have seen it on our c
by tall_boy
I've never seen any other Friday the 13th flicks, so I carry no continuity baggage with this one. Still, I found it to be fun that didn't take itself seriously. Come to think of it, I might actually watch it again tonight after I study for a bit. good no-brainer entertainment (and better than crap like Van Wilder).
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Apr 24, 2002 11:03:13 PM CDT
guy1243: I meant movies with sex are less accessable to young p
by tarl_cabot
It's ridiculous that sex and violence are even classified together as equally inappropriate content for children-as if a kid who sees some tits and ass is going to turn into a psychopath. The Americans attitude about sex and nudity in film is so childish. I've seen a "Friday" movie on regular TV-all they cut out were the tit shots! Unbelievable. Anyway, I do like arthouse and foriegn films and I may be a snob but I don't need to see a deep drama everytime I go to the movies.I love popcorn movies as much as anybody and I'm a total geek for certain things but I have my standards; I just don't like bad popcorn movies. I demand quality in whatever I see and I think all genres can deliver-even horror, sci-fi, action and Martial arts movies-I don't think all these kinds of "lowbrow" movies have to be crap but most of them seem to be just that. I thought Blade 2 was a fun movie- it was like entertainment junkfood but I enjoyed it. The Scorpion king? It doesn't interest me-it looks like a cheap Conan rip off . Jason X? The premise is beyond preposterous-I think I actually admire the writers for even pitching this idea-but no fucking way am I gonna pay to watch this shit. I'll hold out for Spiderman and AOTC; I'm optimistic despite The Phantom Trainwreck that occured 3 years ago...***
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Apr 25, 2002 12:33:16 AM CDT
I will only go see this movie if there is Lexa Doig nudity
by thematarife
She did a nude scene in one of her movies, but it was low quality. I want some high quality nipplage please.
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It seems to me Harry can't review this film in proper perspective as he's made clear his distaste for the F13 films. To despise the Jason and not appreciate & understand the appeal of the series is to be in a word clueless. Sure you have to roll-you-eyes as much of the series was just silly, but theres a respect there that if you don't have all is lost. I get the feeling from the review that this is a movie that communicates that the entire F13 series was a huge blunder that would be better made fun of then given any attention of affection. I think thats the wrong way to go. Even Mr. Vorhees deserves better
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Apr 25, 2002 1:16:19 AM CDT
Tarl_Cabot - The whole rating system is a complete fucking mess.
by expfcwintergreen
Your right, that the government and the MPAA thinks they have to shield kids from images of sex and nudity is completely nosestuffy and Victorian notion. Not hardcore porn, mind you, but to have graphic violence on the news every night and then at the same time to cut-out something as natural and beautiful as a women's breast is ubsurd in my mind._____ Even in the rating system for film. Shit, everyone here think to when they were 16. Was there ANY movie that was rated R that you needed to see with your parents? Even 15, 14, 13 and mabye even 12-year-olds can see nearly ever rated 'R' movie out there and not go nuts. And NC-17! What the fuck is that? If a parent wants to take their kid to a 'Showgirls', a 'L.I.E.', a
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I meant to finish; that's their prerogative and no fucking rating board has any right to tell them otherwise.
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Just because you lost that trial and were outsmarted by that greesy inbread hick, Bob Ewell, gives you no right to come around here and start making wild accusations. For shame!
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THE HORROR SHOW, starring Brion James and Lance Hendrickson was released in 1988. Overseas, however, this film is titled HOUSE 3. Similarly, CYBORG (Van Damme) is called MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE 2 overseas. BTW, JASON X blows.
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I'm not a huge huge fan of Jason but big enough.. I just have a really weird memory when it comes to movies and dialogue.
I'm really bored so I'm going to entertain myself, and maybe 2 of you, with a rundown. Someone above did this but here's a really detailed one. In the first film Jason has drowned in the lake due to careless councelors who were knocking boots instead of paying attention. Some years later two councelors are killed and the camp is closed. Years after that it's reopened and all the councelors are killed by Jason's vengeful mother. The final councelor left, the girl with the dark past, decapitates her at the end. Several months later Jason, who's been alive the whole time living in the woods Deliverance style and witnessed his mother's death in the first film, hunts down and kills the councelor who did her in. And then has some fresh tea. With a bag on his head he then returns to the camp, which of course is being opened yet again, and everyone is killed yet again except of course for the girl with the dark past, who seemingly kills him. But Jason escapes and goes down the road to where a party is being held and wouldn't you know it... kills everyone there too.. This is part 3 or 3-D I should say. He obtains his hockey mask from a prankster who gets his jollies by faking his own death to spook people. So of course no one helps him when he really is dying of a severed jugular. Karma's a bitch. Well Jason gets the ol' axe in the head by, you guessed it, a girl with a dark past. This is where the famous slit on the top right of the mask spawned from. He's taken to the morgue and of course isn't dead and escapes and goes back to the lake where of course another party is being held.. Guess what.. He kills everyone except? NOPE.. Corey Feldman who proceeds to carve poor Jason's head like a thanksgiving turkey. This is the run down of 1 through 4.. 2-4 take place over the same weekend for goodness sakes.. Jason was busy. I use this as a break because 4 is called "The Final Chapter" but marketability is more powerful than silly promises.
So continue I must.. part 5
"A New Beginning". Tommy, the kid Feldman portrayed now played by some guy, is in a nuthouse. Some other nut at the nuthouse is killed by another nut who for some reason they've given a job cutting firewood with a very large axe. Who runs this damn place? Tommy begins having bad dreams about Jason when suddenly Jason begins showing up and murdering people once again, but this time it's discovered by Tommy and Dexter from Diff'rent Strokes that it's the father of the murdered mental who's seeking vengeance and he's thrown from a barn onto a strategically placed bed of large spikes. Jump to 6 JASON LIVES! Woohoo!. Tommy is now out of the nuthouse and wants to rid the world of Jason once and for all. So he... uh.. digs him up, good idea, and plans to burn the corpse... But anger over his dead buddies takes over and he proceeds to stab him multiple times with a big metal rod and wouldn't you know it, lightning strikes bringing our boy back Frankenstein style... And where would someone who hasn't killed in years go?? Let's see... Crystal Lake where the camp has been reopened yet again.. After all it's always full of horny and dumb teens who disobey orders and stories of dozens murdered there years before. Also it's funny how the camp always gets reopened just as Jason gets resurrected. Well he kills everyone yet again but is done in when Tommy ties a chain attached to a boulder around his neck and throws it into the lake.. Poor Jason never had a chance. Twice he's been foiled by this Tommy dude. It is at this point the Tommy exits the series. Had he just left him in the ground there would be no 6 through X and hundreds of lives would've been saved. Way to go kid! Part 7: A New Blood. Okay well we return to the girl with the dark past format now. This girl actually killed her own father using her telekinetic abilities. You see her dad was a drunken wife beater and one night the troubled girl used her abilities to collapse a dock which he was standing on.. The father died and his body was never recovered from the lake. It's a lake! Did it wash away? Who runs the freaking Crystal Lake PD? Look under the dock wreckage 10 feet from the shore! Years later the girl returns to the lake with her doctor, Bernie from Weekend at Bernies, and decides she'll use her talents to bring her daddy back. But instead resurrects Jason. Jason emerges from the lake to find that oddly enough dozens of horny and stupid teens have gathered at the lake for a party. And yup they all die horribly, especially a girl in a sleeping bag. Well it ends with a no holds barred battle between Jason and dark past girl who uses her mind to throw everything at Jason including a TV and an entire house deck.. it's almost like Carrie vs Jason. And at the end the dark past girl resurrects her dad, though he's been underwater for 10 years he's in perfect condition.. no decomposition. Must be some Cocoons in that lake. And the father pulls Jason into the lake vanquishing him yet again. Jump to part 8: Jason Takes Manhatten. Horny teens who are for some reason sailing a big yacht in the lake are having relations. The anchor on the boat hooks to an underwater power line and proceeds to drag it over to where Jason's body is still lying, yet the father's from 7 is not. A sparkle of pretty electicity and Jason returns. He kills the kids and steals their boat. With this new yacht Jason could sail to Aruba and have the good life, but no Jason finds an inlet to the lake and sails to the sea where a cruise ship is waiting to take a bunch of horny and stupid teens on their senior trip to Manhatten. Jason boards kills and kills kills kills. The survivors get on a life boat and sail to Manhatten.. Jason, who of course swims very well having drowned so many times, follows them to the Big Apple where he is again vanquished by the girl with the dark past. This time she lures him into the sewer where toxic waste flows every night, ain't that strange? And instead of melting him it regenerates him into his once youthful state. Go figure. Jump to 9: Jason Goes to Hell. Jason is back at the lake killing, with no explanation or link to part 8. This time the army is ready and they simply do what they should've done decades earlier. They blow him to pieces with a missile. But Jason has thought ahead and fooled the US army. Turns out his soul can jump from body to body so he can kill more and more. So the black dude from 21 Jump Street and Kate from Silver Spoons get involved and with the aid of a magical dagger weilded by Jason's bloodline they vanquish him to hell once and for all. Jump ahead 500 years to JASON X coming this Friday. Whew... Okay I got really sick of writing that about one paragraph in.. and if you actually read all of that wow you must have as much free time tonight as I do. Anyway thanks for your time and I hope it was informative. -
The continuity will be intact for Freddy Vs Jason. I read in an interview with the writer that New Line were keen to set this in the future so they wouldn't upset the concept of having F v J, or any further films in the franchise, set in the present.
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What a long list of talkbackers! Hopefully this will get read and have been thought of. I totally believe in everyone's opinion, what one likes/dislikes may differ from the next and so forth. Anyhow, this movie didn't live up to my expectations. I downloaded it from the net so the 'quality' wasn't the greatest, you could see it well and all but it wasn't crisp. So on that note, I will see it in the theaters only for the sake of seeing it in a theater experience. Other than that it will probably be the only time because this movie to put it politely....sucked. Don't get me wrong, Jason had some good kills like so many of you mentioned but that wasn't enough. I understand how it wasn't made to be serious but for a huge fan of horror such as myself (I'm like a majorly huge horror fan) this ruined me. I was thinking so highly of this, hoping it could rev-vive the old horror from the 80's and maybe make it fresh again, but it didn't. Hopefully Freddy vs. Jason won't be as bad (if it gets made). Thats one movie I'm literally dying to see, I have been ever since watching Jason Goes To Hell: TFF over 10 years ago. I just thought of something, almost everyone hated Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, why? Because it was not as we had hoped for and could it be because it was released 16 years after Return Of The Jedi? What I'm getting at is do movies become bad when they are gone from existence and then come back eon's later on in life? Maybe its me but I could be onto something here. Like there's gotta be reasons other than money. Anyone can make a movie and why not? Why wait so long? Well, its good to see that a lot of people liked this movie so the fan-force is still there, but if only the movie was good in itself, and if there will be more Jason movies PLEASE could they explain the previous Friday movies, this one shunned out on that subject. *thinking why*
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That package guy, sorry I couldn't remember your user name but yeah, you are so right, Part 6 was the best and will always will be the best. For me that was the first Friday movie that I saw when I was a kid though I have seen countless other movies, some reason that was my first. That movie had a lot going for it and almost everything, actually screw that, EVERYTHING about it was great, very inspirational, good killings, very entertaining and the ending was awesome. That movie was the best in the series without a doubt.
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since I've never seen a full "Friday" flick aside from Jason X, that's a nice primer. Still, I recomend Jason X to anyone who is willing just to run with such a wacky concept as "Jason in Space". I know I did.
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That's how you could interpret the whole sex = death morality of these teen slasher movies, if we wanna try to put any rhyme or reason to it. You have irresponsible sex, you die. Same as with having unprotected sex and contracting AIDS. Call Jason & his puritannical ilk Mr. motherfucking HIV I guess. Or some shit like that. Someone suggested that to me a few years back and it sounded like an interesting way at looking at it. -
Hey, we've always had a soft spor for the friday the 13th movies, even if some of the later ones were pretty bad (in the case of Jason Takes Manhattan, fucking dire). If we are talking about nitpicking, then it should not be forgotten that as great as the original Halloween is, it is a complete lift from Black Christmas. Out of the Friday the 13th movies, the best in terms of suspense, characterisation and humour has to be the third movie, generally acknowledged as having the best 3D effects out of all of the movies that were in amongst the brief early 80's revival of the 3rd dimension.
And if we are also talking about how crap an idea it is to have a horror character transplanted to an outer space location in the far future, you only have to look at Hellraiser: Bloodline to see what a lousy idea that turned out to be... -
Has harry ever given a negative review to a movie that is advertising on his web site? and did he give any positive reviews to a competitor of lord of the rings during it's early theatrical run?
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I have it from a good source that New Line was behind some the VCD copies of this movie around to spread word of mouth before it hit the big screen......pretty good idea I must say....
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for the Joe Bob Briggs link-I have Men,Women & Chainsaws which is a great book that not only influence my feminist fright film theory but was the first film book that got me to take cinema studies seriously plus showed me that genre flicks/show do have metaphoric/socialogical value. Also to Virgil Sollozzo:I met Tony Todd at a Fangoria convention a few years ago and he's a really nice guy;he posed for pictures with me & my friends and was very cool to everybody. I saw him on Boston Public,too-he did a great job there.
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Check out this link, you'll see pretty much why Harry reviews the way he does
http://www.fadedatmovies.net/harryknowles.html -
Apr 25, 2002 12:30:35 PM CDT
I wonder if the THREE ad banners on the front page had anything
by spell checker
'Nuff said.
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this movie will only be seen by virgins who can't get none if they even tried, i should know we can smell our own
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Apr 25, 2002 1:02:21 PM CDT
Speaking Of Our Moral Guardian, I'm Outraged That The Movie
by buzz maverik
...because the screenplay was brilliant. It starts with Jack's boyhood, in which he is shipwrecked on and island with his friends Ralph and Piggy. Later, we see him as a soldier in France in WWI, recovering from a mustard gas attack and running afoul of a young Ernest Hemingway, who is in the same field hospital recovering from a liason with a French peasant lass. The next time we see Jack is a shameful period of his life in which he was one of Joan Crawford's kept boys -- the inspiration for SUNSET BLVD. -- and then his triumph as a joke writer for Richard Nixon, all before becoming Kommisionar of Der Thought Policie.
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what are you guys expecting here? Academy Award material? It always makes me shake my head when I read these Talkbacks because everyone is always so intent on bashing everyone else or Harry that the entire discussion has nothing to do with the review.
Well, in an effort to get back on topic, I checked out Jason X earlier this week and it is really entertaining. I've been a fan of this series from the beginning and the thing I've always loved is the campy humor. Sure Jason X takes place in space, but they did a great job incorporating Crystal Lake back into the film in several places. I loved it! I laughed, I jumped and I enjoyed myself. And you know what....everyone else in the theater (which was packed) loved it too because they were laughing right along.
Sorry...rant over...go see this film. you won't be let down if you go in expecting nothing from it. -
An earlier post indicated: "Jason was never in 3D. Freddy was." Both Freddy and Jason have, infact, had 3D movies. "Friday the 13th Part 3" and "A Nightmare On Elm Street Part 5: Freddy's Dead" respectfully.
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Checked out the bootleg version off Kazaa. Um, it sucks. What did Harry see in this movie? The most maddening thing about the film is that the characters are so damn STUPID. It takes them about 20 minutes of the film to figure out there is a threat on the ship and take action. And when the Marines go off to search for Jason, what do they do? Why, split up into tiny groups, of course, making it easier to be picked off. And what do they do every time they think they've killed him? Turn their backs or walk away, of course. Just once I'd like to see the characters in a horror movie do EXACTLY what they should instead of insult the audience with suicidal behavior. One good thing about the movie: for a low budget flick, the production values are very good.
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Apr 25, 2002 4:13:15 PM CDT
Willow im pretty sure tony todd is a nice guy and all..
by virgil sollozzo
and no doubt is a great actor, elevating the lowliest of projects in which he appears...but he fucking creeps me out because i just see Candyman when i look at him.
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this is toms daughter, jason rules i love jason but i wish they'd have a freddy vrs. jason movie of corse jason would win cuz hes the mann!!!!!!!!!! the worst and most unfair deaths of any1 hes killed of corse has to be the black guy in the mannhattan movie when hes boxing and boxing but, dies that sucked ass i love the sewer sceen thats great!!!!! u guys are nerds and need lives peace out!!!!!!!!
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Apr 26, 2002 12:12:59 AM CDT
It`s JASON. And he`s IN SPACE. The very fact that someone had
by elgyn6655321
I haven`t seen a bootleg copy, but I read the script and it was pretty freakin` awesome! I couldn`t believe how imaginative it was for a "Jason" movie (and I`m not being sarcastic, I`m serious)! And yes, Part 3 (in 3D) and Part 6 ("Jason Lives") were the best. And for the record, The Time sucked.
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Apr 26, 2002 7:05:01 AM CDT
Re: I wonder if the THREE ad banners on the front page had anyth
by notageek
You said it before I could:)
Sad isn't it? Almost as sad as ressurecting this dead franchise and putting it in space. None for me, thanks. -
Um, Harry, how can you say Bride of Chucky was genius, yet you did not like American Psycho? I just can't even see a single scene in Bride of Chucky, a movie, or a fucking sequel about a talking doll and his ultra-hot-lolita-looking doll wife with a conscience that was dpeicted as "genius." American Psycho was genius, Christian Bale was genius. The whole fucking story was genius, with a superb twist that still makes me wonder even after repeated viewings. the only twist at the end of Bride of Chucky that left me dumfounded and wondering was who was the dipshit who thought getting Chucky married was a good idea. If there hadn't been any original or any sequels prior to that, and you were to appraoch a studio and ask for a film about a demonic doll and his bride to be to be made, you would have gotten slapped in the face. The only good thing about Bride of Chucky was the famous Semi-Truck turn man into tomato soup scene, and maybe the champaign bottle hitting the glass ceiling bed above the fornicating (which is against horror film laws---you must die.) Now Harry When i read that you didn't like American Psycho, I was a bit taken back by it. But this draws a line in the sand, praising Bride of Chucky. I am afraid I just cannot agree with you on this one. Normally i do agree with your thoughts on film, but this one I cannot. In fact, I am going to go and rent Bride of Chucky, take it home, and watch it burn in my BBQ grill, then call Hollywood Video and tell them I did them a favor. And for the last few weeks I have been wondering which poster to put in my poster display case that hangs over my big screen TV, right now is presently Scarface. I was thinking maybe L.A. Confidential, Goodfellas (which is currentl;y ranking in hang time, about 8 months, or maybe even a nice new UK poster I got of Snatch. But now, because of this, I am going to hang the ultra-cool poster of Patrick Bateman holding his 12 inch butcher knife looking menacing yet charismatic as thoughts of Phil Collins and Huey Lewis run through my head. Which is more horrifying than anything Bride of Chucky could ever produce. And to clear up any questions anyone may have, No, I don't own a Whitney Houston CD.
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I repeat. Where were the damn argonauts??!!
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As in, "In Jason
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I'm not one to judge and talk shit about other people, but for something said earlier and just to defend the natural of it all, AmericanPO you mentioned that there was a 3D movie in the ANOES series and it was part 5: Freddy's dead when in fact its actually Part 6: Freddy's Dead. That, my friend is respectivly said.
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holy shit, what a goofy movie.
saw it today, and still couldn't believe the soundtrack and the "he's screwed" line. i will say i was a bit entertained by the wackiness of it all. i do, do highly reccomend at least watching the last 15 minutes of the movie where you will see the best goddamned scene in a friday flick EVAH. the "premarital sex" scene has to be seen. it is hilarious, and goddammit, titilating! (sp!?) man oh man.
-81666 -
I saw it tonight with a full crowd and we totally ate it up. This is Jason for crying out loud! He's unstoppable, he's in space and he's getting his limbs shot off by a sexy android with two huge machine guns (thought I was going for the boobs, didn't ya!). It's a hell of a good time... don't expect anything less than that. How can you not like this movie?
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Let's give Jason this: While he is clearly a copy of Michael Myers, he clearly has exceeded Mr. M. in the horror department. Myers hasn't been scary since his reincarnation in HALLOWEEN 2 while Jason continues to terrify in his unique cottage cheese-head way. The best movie in the series is the fourth, where a very young Corey Feldman does him in. The best resurrection is at the beginning of 6, where Jason rises from his grave after being accidentally jolted with electricity. The best death scene has to be the guy broken in half. I think that is in the 'Carrie' episode, whatever number that was. As a franchise, Jason has it all over Candyman, Puppetmaster, Wishmaster and even Freddy.
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I hear lots of complaints about why characters do the stupid things that they do and I realize that most of you people don't get the point,... that kind of stupidity is to be expected and never to be taken seriously. It's too easy to roll your eyes and groan at the thought of JASON X, hell, even I was a bit shocked that anyone had the audacity to take the masked maniac into space. Guess what? I laughed it off and just remembered how much fun I used to have watching the original FRIDAY THE 13TH films when I was a kid. Jason Voorhees was created during the grand slasher era, a time when even the worst of the low budget dreck had a theatrical run. It was never intended to be high concept horror like THE OMEN or THE EXORCIST. It's a movie about a psycho in a mask who kills teenagers, that's it. Sure, Michael Myers was scarier and Freddy Krueger was more fun to watch but Jason still made for a good scare on opening weekend. By the second or third film you should already know what to expect and how the characters are going to end up without too much trouble... but that's part of the charm. This is like junk food or a candy bar, it's not good for you but it's still a guilty pleasure that we can indulge in every so often. Don't go into this film ready to tear it apart because of the bad dialogue and the predictable outcome because you'll just be turning into another sour movie critic. Go see this movie expecting what we've all come to expect from a Jason movie - lots of silliness, nudity and gore. You may be surprised by how much more JASON X delivers if you do. One last thing, my friend was sitting next to me during the movie and felt compelled to question the actions of one character who was slowly backing into a dark corner of the spaceship. "Why do they always do that?", he asked. "Why do they always walk backwards into the dark without paying attention?" - You know what I said? "So they can die."
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Seriously. The only thing I can tell is that he's no Harry Knowles.
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I suppose we are never going to get JASON VS. FREDDY. The least the studio could do therefore is to let Jason handle a force bigger and stronger than he, for JASON XI. Maybe Godzilla. Maybe ALIENS. Maybe PREDATOR .Whatever. Something big enough and tough enough so that Jason can be the hero and save the day, save the earth, save the trees.
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Apr 29, 2002 8:24:27 AM CDT
Actually I thought the last 3 Jason movies were kinda fun.
by theginger twit
I loved Jason in manhatten, and even the next one where he starts posessing people. I started reading the script to this one and thought what the fuck am I reading this shit for? But I'll still see it. The preview with the super Jason just made me laugh and think ..... fair enough :)
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Apr 29, 2002 8:34:25 AM CDT
Actually I thought the last bunch of Jason movies back to 6 were
by theginger twit
I loved Jason in manhatten, and even the next one where he starts posessing people. I started reading the script to this one and thought what the fuck am I reading this shit for? But I'll still see it. The preview with the super Jason just made me laugh and think ..... fair enough :)
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For such a supposedly "unpopular" and "god-aweful" movie...
But Yet...
Theres enough people paying to see them that there are 10 installments...with another (Jason vs. Freddy) offically greenlighted.
Makes ya wonder...
Why do people keep going back to see sequels of movies the truly despise. Perhaps these are the ones who truly are "stupid".
Huh. -
My god! That was the most entertaining review I ever read. Shit, it was more fun than the movie! When ya sit down and think about it...you really could find meaning in a Friday the 13th movie. It's possible!
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Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers, LeatherFace they are all modern versions of the classic movie monsters. ie....Freddy is a modern Dracula...sucks souls instead of blood. Jason is a modern Frankenstein....a kid inside a monsters body...Michael is like a modern Mummy, never says a word or why, he just kills. Leatherface is like a modern wolfman...just an animal.
Now the thing to think about is that none of the sequals were very good to any of the old movie maniac movies give or take a few....BUT how many were made...TONS. There will be more Jason and Freddy movies, because someone will always think they have a better idea to use. The original classics were just that classics, not really scary, but classics especially the first of the series. Likewise its the same with the new "modern" horror icons, the first in the series is good, and then it repeats from there.
30 years from now we will all be looking back on these "modern" icons and thinking what classics they are.
AND FOR ALL OF YOU PEOPLE WHO JUST WANT TO FIGHT...
NO...Frankenstein, Dracula, Wolfman, and the Mummy REALLY were not that "classic" then, actually a lot of people thought the movies were quite dumb.
and if you want a really scary movie...watch...
"The Changeling"
Or
any Dario Argento film.
Now thats scary. -
This movie was by far the best FT13th film. It has everything from cool killing scenes to that Jason humor we've all come to know and love. If you don't take this movie too seriously you'll have the most fun you've ever had at the movies this year. SEE IT, ENJOY IT, AWAIT JASON XI!!
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The review was great. The rest of you people need to understand that you're taking this too seriously. Lighten up.
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I think of a little girl in a pink dress, sticking a hot dog through a donut.
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I'm still going to have to prefer Jason over Mike. Granted the Halloween flicks were put together better, but they started to suck too. Besides, Jason is more brutal, and you just can't keep him down. I admire that kind of determination.
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I am shocked and appalled that in this long list of "talk-back" insanity, nobody mentions the best part of this movie (tied for first place with the brutally gory deaths) Janessa. janessa has 90% of the rediculous one-liners that keep the movie entertaining between kills or punctuate a kill. "why don't you just stick your head out and peek?", don't mess up my pants", "this sucks on so many levels". and what about that bizzare, yet somehow erotic scene where she is tweezering her proff's nipples? her ass looks sooooooooooo good in that scene. Janessa is the reason to see this movie. I love her. and I mean that in every way possible.
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does anyone have anymore info on melyssa ade (janessa)
was this movie really filmed in canada? -
cos Jason is stupid
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The movie had its moments, but its the same b-flick in space. There were some flesh to be seen but not enough to overcome the problems with the film. It was good campy fun until we meet up with Space-Jason. The new suit and mask were not aesthetically pleasing enough. This may seem trivial, but it simply left me cold. "Predator" had a similar problem and Jean Claude Van Damme work was left on the cutting room floor. It took Stan Winston to make it sing. Stan is very much in demand, but there are talented people out there that are up to the job.
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I have to agree with what another TBer said many months ago on this topic -- where the fuck is the GORE ferchrissakes? I won't pretend to enjoy the Friday the 13th movies for any other reason than the splatter. For that reason, the first, second, and fourth ones are the best. Unless I'm mistaken, Tom Savini did the gore effects on those three, with TFC being the most blood-soaked and thusly the most enjoyable, even with Corey and Crispin (or perhaps because of those two loads -- not that Glover wasn't great in My Tutor ;) chewing up the scenery. The third, fifth and sixth are acceptable in the dead meat department. All of them are thoroughly stupid, but at least early on the blood flowed as it should. Franchise "horror" (sure) flicks for years now have reminded me of what Spy mag had to say about Madonna's book "Sex" when it was published -- "a fuck book with no actual fucking". Jason movies have been gore flicks with no actual blood/gore/splatter for ages. Thanks for nothing, Valenti.
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May 28, 2003 2:23:54 PM CDT
It's not "chi chi chi chi ah ah ah ah" --- It's "kill kill kill
by zerocorpse
It's Jason from the first movie urging his mother to kill for him. Did anyone already mention this? Pffft! Like I'm going to read this whole talkback!
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You whore, McWeeny! Like you're even in the same LEAGUE as Joe-Bob! Mori is in the special feature on the DVD, which proves that Jason X really IS the scariest FT13th.
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